1 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,933 -Hold all my-- Whoa! -[laughing] 2 00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:18,351 ♪ Boss Baby ♪ 3 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,603 ♪ I'm the boss Dial in to the meeting ♪ 4 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:22,897 ♪ Everybody here? Please find your seating ♪ 5 00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,983 ♪ While you teething I'm sinking my teeth in ♪ 6 00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:27,318 ♪ First one to show So I can do all my greeting ♪ 7 00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:29,487 ♪ Profits, payrolls and pacifiers ♪ 8 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,823 ♪ I make friends! I love you, you're hired! ♪ 9 00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:34,451 ♪ So come on and raise Your juice boxes skyward ♪ 10 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,327 ♪ Boss babies until we retire! ♪ 11 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,538 -♪ Boss Baby ♪ -♪ Tell 'em who this is ♪ 12 00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:40,874 -♪ Boss Baby ♪ -♪ I'm a legend, mythic ♪ 13 00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:43,460 -♪ Boss Baby ♪ -♪ Can a baby get a witness ♪ 14 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,545 ♪ Grab a high chair This the family business ♪ 15 00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:46,880 ♪ Boss Baby ♪ 16 00:00:48,047 --> 00:00:51,384 Right now, a league of evil babysitters has a target 17 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:54,012 placed squarely on the back of Baby Love. 18 00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:58,099 All I ask is for the support I need to crush this movement 19 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,727 and lead Baby Corp to victory. 20 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,147 I get that. I do. 21 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,899 But it's company policy. 22 00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:10,779 You've worked too many days in a row, so you're required to take a day off. 23 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:15,533 Or as we call it in the HR department, a Vacay Day. 24 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:20,038 Trendy abbreviations. Another rung in the ladder to society's demise. 25 00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:20,997 [Buddy] Totes. 26 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:28,088 Just pick your Vacay D and LMK ASAP to make it offish, 'kay? 27 00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:32,592 Of course, you're no help. You probably love vacation days. 28 00:01:32,675 --> 00:01:37,180 Oh, you bet I do. I'm saving mine up for a trip to Floaties Jamaica. 29 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:42,143 Shade-bathing in a thick layer of SPF 500, running panicked from the surf... 30 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:45,104 Wait, why can't I just save up my vacation days? 31 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:49,192 You can, but vacation days are different from mandatory Vacay Days, 32 00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:53,196 not to be confused with personal days, sick days, brain rests, or me time. 33 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:57,033 [groans] The HR department is like a thesaurus for slacking off. 34 00:01:57,117 --> 00:02:01,913 What's next? Summer Fridays? Meditation? Working from home? 35 00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:05,708 You heard the baby. Rules are rules. You gotta take a Vacay Day. 36 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:09,087 [groans] Fine. I'll do it tomorrow. 37 00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:11,965 [Pip] Let me see. 38 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,384 Let me see. 39 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:19,264 Well, I'm not gonna miss Iggy's first haircut. 40 00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:23,518 I meant I'll take my Vacay Day the next tomorrow. 41 00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,355 Aw, hey. 42 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,817 What's our cutest thing for the delivery? 43 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:36,364 Sunglasses! Nothing more adorable than a baby who wants a grown-up to look cool. 44 00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:39,701 Well, I'm not gonna miss Trike Delivery Baby's birthday party. 45 00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:41,578 Tomorrow, I'm off. I swear. 46 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:50,253 What? Gotta get the perfect light for Bowtie Baby's 10-month photo shoot. 47 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:53,298 -Ah! I've been bamboozled! -Busted, m'kay. 48 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:56,259 For crying out loud, take a day off. 49 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:03,600 Tomorrow's mandatory fridge-cleaning day at the office. You won't miss a thing. 50 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:09,355 I'd kill to clean an office fridge right now. 51 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,565 Come on, team. 52 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:13,401 Let's hear some bold new ideas for me to shoot down 53 00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:16,821 and improve upon using my superior business knowledge. Anyone? 54 00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:21,409 You can't keep coming to work like this, Trevor. 55 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,077 Timmy T. 56 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:27,123 You writers "work from home." Perhaps you have some business challenge I could-- 57 00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:31,169 Nope, sorry, between the hours of 9 a.m. and whenever I make lunch, 58 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:34,297 I am inside an impenetrable creative cocoon. 59 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:38,593 You're eating cereal and watching medical show bloopers online. 60 00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:41,512 -[man on computer] Dev, you prankster! -Don't pop my cocoon. 61 00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:46,726 That cable package is a tantalizing offer, but what I'm offering you 62 00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:50,063 is a day of private business coaching at an outrageous discount. 63 00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:53,149 Can I count on your commitment? Marlene? 64 00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:55,526 A telemarketer just hung up on me. 65 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,695 No, it's not funny, Trevor! 66 00:03:58,279 --> 00:03:59,656 -[door opens] -[gasps] 67 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:04,077 Tabitha, thank goodness you're home. I'm so unproductive! 68 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,163 Well, I'm glad you're home. I need some business advice. 69 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,707 [squeals] Anything. 70 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,418 Yvette and I tried to start a scooter squad. 71 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:15,797 Yvette's got hers, but electric scooters are super expensive. 72 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,675 I need to figure out how to buy one. Are you not gonna help me? 73 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:21,719 Lesson's already started! You're late upstairs! Whoo! Business! 74 00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,722 This is how we get your scooter. 75 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:27,517 -With a pen cap? -A valueless hunk of plastic, right? 76 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,144 It has value, or you wouldn't ask the question. 77 00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:33,940 Wrong! I mean, yes. Hm, you're good. 78 00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:38,236 This pen cap is a value seed, from which your scooter will grow. 79 00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:41,281 How? Trading up. Is it easy? 80 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,574 -Again, you wouldn't have asked if-- -No! 81 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:48,079 But with hard work, business know-how, and a series of clever, calculated trades, 82 00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:50,915 we will turn this pen cap into... 83 00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:54,335 Sorry, the scooter website's still loading. 84 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,671 Dad, Are you hogging the Wi-Fi? 85 00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:58,673 [on Tim's computer] Who put a lizard in my scrubs? 86 00:04:58,756 --> 00:05:00,008 [Tim] Uh... No. 87 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:03,511 Uh, just imagine how cool it would have been if the scooter loaded. 88 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:08,016 Remember this! A key part of business is show business. 89 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:09,142 This is awesome. 90 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:12,312 A whole afternoon of business lessons from my mentor, 91 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:15,148 and Hot Purscoot can finally hit the pavement. 92 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:18,318 -It's the name of our scooter squad. -It's terrible. 93 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:19,902 Yeah. I kind of love it. 94 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,989 Lesson One, find a need. 95 00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:24,907 Need gives an object value. 96 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:29,329 A pen cap may seem worthless, but find someone who desperately needs it, 97 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:32,206 their weakness becomes our gold. 98 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:37,170 [Tabitha] The caricaturist. 99 00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:40,381 No pen to draw with, no money. Boom, value. 100 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:43,134 Ah. But she knows that. See? 101 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,887 So of course, she'd never lose the cap. 102 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:50,224 [groans] Come on, Tabitha, you wanna walk everywhere like a common horse? 103 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,727 You're on the right track. Just keep looking. 104 00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:55,146 -Struggling poets? -Pencil people. 105 00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:56,272 Toddler art class? 106 00:05:56,355 --> 00:06:00,151 You don't need caps when you paint with boogers. Uh, what about--? [gasps] 107 00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:01,527 Quick Break Quarry. 108 00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,405 [Boss Baby] Over-stressed veterinary surgeons, bond traders, 109 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:07,867 all desperate for the release of a puzzle come break time. 110 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,160 [Tabitha] They're so confident. 111 00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:12,330 They'd never do a crossword in pencil. They're pen people. 112 00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:16,000 [Boss Baby] When work calls, they'll drop a pen cap without a thought. 113 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,836 How many times, Pam? We sell seashells by the seashore. 114 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:22,090 Not buy seashells, sell the seashore. What is confusing? 115 00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:25,009 If they have the same need, who do we trade with? 116 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,594 That would be Lesson Two, 117 00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:29,847 who's most likely to have something of value to you? 118 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,684 "Charla Lazlo, Attorney at Law." 119 00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:37,522 She's got her face on every bus stop and a purse as big as her face. 120 00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:38,940 Full of treasure, I bet. 121 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:42,944 Look at you, master up-trader. Go get her. 122 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,238 [Dez] Greetings, sir. 123 00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:49,283 Dez? This was supposed to be a slow day. Shouldn't you clean the office fridge? 124 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,786 Well, there's been a sitch. 125 00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:53,746 You know Smiling Samir? 126 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:57,750 Five percenter with a smile that could turn a lemon into a lolly? What? 127 00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:02,088 [JJ] Well, we met a new Uncuddleable this morning, Antonio. 128 00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:05,341 Showed up at Samir's dad's cafe with a stack of references 129 00:07:05,424 --> 00:07:08,511 from satisfied babysitting customers and an offer. 130 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:12,014 One sprightly, soothing walk, traipsing the out-of-doors, 131 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,976 free of charge as a sample of our impeccable service. 132 00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:17,687 Quite a deal. Wouldn't you "agwee"? 133 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,814 [JJ] They all "agweed." 134 00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:23,234 [Boss Baby] Ha! Dopes just did our Baby Love work for us. 135 00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:26,154 Taking Samir out to show off that smile in public? 136 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,573 Yeah, but here's the thing about Samir. 137 00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:29,991 He's always smiling 138 00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:33,619 because of the constant stimulation at his dad's cafe. 139 00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,621 Get him someplace boring... 140 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,790 No jaunty picture books today. 141 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:41,419 We're off to sift through old town council meeting write-ups. 142 00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:44,338 [JJ] ...and that smile drops into the wrinkly mug 143 00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:46,549 of a disapproving British grandpa. 144 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:49,552 -[both] Ugh. -[Antonio cackling] 145 00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,387 No need to worry, Boss. 146 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:56,225 Tina's been running a multi-phase plan all morning to keep Samir smiling. 147 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,393 -[device chimes] -Whoop. 148 00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,771 Late for Phase Three. Enjoy your Vacay Day! 149 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:07,028 -Tina, what can I do to hel--? -[Buddy] Chillax. You're in Vacay Mode. 150 00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:09,155 What company doesn't want its employees to work? 151 00:08:09,238 --> 00:08:11,199 Why is the sun wearing sunglasses? 152 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:14,869 Nothing makes sense. Chillax yourself, gas ball! 153 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,956 What's wrong? She wouldn't trade? 154 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,126 Oh, no, I had Lazlo begging for that pen cap. 155 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,670 Traded for a travel bottle of fancy hand cream, 156 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:27,048 which I traded up to a basketball, and-- 157 00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:28,841 -I'm so embarrassed. -What for? 158 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,760 -You're doing great. -I was. 159 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:34,222 I got impatient thinking how far I was from an electric scooter, 160 00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:38,059 and I'm pretty sure I just traded down for these. 161 00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:41,521 Used hearing aids. Freshly used, judging by the wax. 162 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:45,024 Hey, that's a really nice trade. 163 00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:47,985 Sorry, what? Could you talk down to me louder? 164 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:50,571 -Sorry. -[groans] I'm smart. 165 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,282 I should be good at this. What am I missing? 166 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,369 -An opponent. -What? 167 00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:59,872 You're like me, kid. For us, business is a contact sport. 168 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:04,001 It's not just the win, it's crushing the competition to get that win. 169 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:07,672 You need the challenge. That pit fight on the trading floor. 170 00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:10,424 You need me. 171 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,385 One-on-one trade-up-off? 172 00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:15,471 Whoever trades up to an electric scooter first wins. 173 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,809 -Promise you won't go easy on me. -[scoffs] I've seen you in competition. 174 00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:22,103 You promise not to go easy on me. 175 00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:24,105 Okay. Let's make this interesting. 176 00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:27,441 Loser has to untangle that box of random cords in the basement. 177 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:28,734 Deal. 178 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,988 You know what I like about smashing? 179 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:36,742 It answers life's most burning question, what's inside things? 180 00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:40,788 Huh. I wonder what's inside this thing. 181 00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:44,917 -Oh, you want to smash it? -Well, maybe if we traded for it. 182 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:48,546 I'm thinking for that bag of smushed grapes? 183 00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:56,596 A white-breasted nuthatch, this time of year? 184 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,265 -Where? -Oh, I don't see it. I hear it. 185 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:03,394 Her call is haunting, like an old sea shanty sung by bird mermaids. 186 00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:04,770 I don't hear a thing. 187 00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:12,528 Yuck. Smushed grapes? Who'd wanna play with something gross and mushy? 188 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:13,487 [babbles] 189 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:19,577 You know what would really make those toes sing? Friction. 190 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:29,670 [in French accent] Oh, how I miss the sights and sounds of my home in old Paris. 191 00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:35,718 Nice day for a picnic, eh? 192 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:39,513 Be happy to trade you my blanket. What you got in the pack? 193 00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:45,394 Tessa, are those new designer booties? Ricardo Tooshay, classy. 194 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:49,774 Of course, if you had a pair of shiny binocs instead, you could-- 195 00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:52,026 [Dez] Ouch. I am a clown. Ouch. 196 00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:53,736 Hold that thought, Tess. 197 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:58,741 [Dez] Boing. Ha, ha! Bop me again, I dare you. Rebound. 198 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,036 -Tina! What's--? -[Buddy] Chillax. 199 00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:05,498 -You're in Vacay Mode. -You bloated ball of freeloading plasma! 200 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:09,043 Those are the fruits of your chillaxidaisical attitude. 201 00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:12,088 I wanna change our trade. The Fidget Winkle. 202 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:14,965 Fidget Winkle, the goofiest toy on the market, 203 00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:16,842 there, top of your toy pile. 204 00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:20,805 [cackles] Perfect. 205 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,023 Bingo. 206 00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:36,821 Okay, uh, O-71. 207 00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:38,781 -What? -What is she saying? 208 00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:39,824 Speak up, you. 209 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,034 I should have traded the hearing aids here. 210 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,661 I could have gotten a whole car. 211 00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:45,788 -I-22. -[woman 1] Speak up! 212 00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,998 -[host] O-72. -Hm... 213 00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:50,835 -You. You. -[host] Action's really heating up, folks. 214 00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,379 Not you. And you. 215 00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,882 Hello, senior sirs and mature ma'ams. 216 00:11:56,966 --> 00:12:01,178 I've calculated the odds, and one of your cards is about to win. 217 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:04,598 But I have a special offer just for you select few. 218 00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:08,269 -[all gasp] -Sticky toffees? Those are contraband. 219 00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:13,232 My daughter says they're too sticky for my chompers, but I can't resist. 220 00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:17,319 This is a trade offer. A handful of toffees each for your bingo cards. 221 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,822 You want a slim chance of winning their prize, 222 00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:22,575 or a guaranteed mouthful of sticky bliss? 223 00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:25,035 -Toffees. -I'll take the candy. 224 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,121 [chattering] 225 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,251 Good luck, toffee girl. 226 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:35,379 I don't need luck. I have statistics. 227 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:38,048 -B-14. -Bingo! 228 00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:42,511 And our youngest winner ever takes the grand prize. 229 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,096 A coupon. 230 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,890 [seniors groan] 231 00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:50,478 This is a tree. There are over four kinds of trees in the world. 232 00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:52,480 I don't know any of them. 233 00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:55,065 That's another one. That's another one. 234 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:58,027 They're stopping to look at foliage again? 235 00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,529 JJ, can we see Phase Six? 236 00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:05,618 Not working, just saying hi. Oh, what's that? Antonio's right there. 237 00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:08,662 Why don't we--? I mean, you just-- What? 238 00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:11,499 Oh, you have missed so much. Let me catch you up. 239 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,334 Phase Three was off to a bang. 240 00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,878 I missed a few steps in the Salty Dog Rag, 241 00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:18,797 but I caught up eventually and won a medal. 242 00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:24,220 Then, I found a dinosaur egg. And it turned into a real dino. 243 00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:28,724 I named him Stegathan and vowed to raise him as my son. 244 00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:32,019 Over time, we grew a deep and meaningful bond. 245 00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:34,647 Stop. Obviously, none of that happened. 246 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:37,900 Yes, none of that. 247 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:41,278 Besides, we don't need to catch you up. You're on Vacay. 248 00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,614 Don't worry about us. We're fine. 249 00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:45,616 Yes. I am on Vacay. 250 00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:49,995 And when Dez was being clown-bopped by an evil babysitter, that was fine. 251 00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:54,375 It was. Phase Four, a totally planned bit of physical comedy to keep Samir giggling. 252 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:55,668 -Dez? -Clown bop! 253 00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:00,089 -I don't get it. -That's stress talking. 254 00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,132 Go enjoy your Vacay Day. 255 00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:05,135 -Recharge, refresh. -What do you think I've been doing? 256 00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:10,015 My industrious protégée Tabitha and I are engaged in a Trading Up competition, 257 00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:14,311 which leads me to why I'm here, a Fidget Winkle! [chuckles] 258 00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:18,440 I can't believe you didn't think of this. Keeps babies laughing for hours. 259 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,985 -That's the Winkle guarantee. -[laughing] 260 00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:23,320 -[Pip] His mushy hair. -[Dez] His stupid feet. 261 00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,030 His crazy old eyeballs. 262 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,283 Yes, well, that would be helpful, 263 00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:30,327 if Samir's next stop wasn't baby yoga class. 264 00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,663 Even better. We can slip it to him while-- 265 00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,874 Where no toys are allowed. 266 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,418 So we gotta get a laugh without props, hm? 267 00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:40,379 No. Not we. Us. You go. 268 00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:44,466 -Stop turning those brain wheels. -And it's a yoga class. [gasps] 269 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,802 No! Stop! Teddy! 270 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,221 Tim! Oh, Tim! 271 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,223 Where's my brother who's allowing me 272 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:54,602 to live as a baby in his home which I appreciate? 273 00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:58,397 I hear you two are having a Trading Up competition. Right on. 274 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:02,359 Oh, hi. I actually came to make a trade. 275 00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:04,945 Tim, do you remember that old tape recorder--? 276 00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,739 You mean my Fart Library? 277 00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:10,492 A curated audio anthology of farts collected over many years? 278 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:14,955 Everything from the High Pitched Squeaker to the elusive Mom Car Fart? 279 00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:18,417 [laughs] Moms don't fart. 280 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,252 -[farts on recording] -[gasps] 281 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,421 Wait. Do you just have that with you? 282 00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:25,674 Usually. Also Tabitha was already asking to trade me for it. 283 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:26,884 I can't believe it. 284 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:29,720 Did you strike a deal with Pancake Burrito Vinny, 285 00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:31,180 the morning drive DJ too? 286 00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:32,264 Who? 287 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,975 Vinny's radio show survives on fart sounds. 288 00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:38,020 And any good trader would know Vinny's got a unicycle collection, 289 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:41,523 which opens up the whole pedestrian vehicle trading sector. 290 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:42,775 Sharp move. 291 00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:45,444 -Thanks. -But I'm getting that Fart Library. 292 00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:48,656 [fart blows over recording] 293 00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:52,701 From the '99 New Year's celebration, when Marsha Krinkle tooted on live TV? 294 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,663 -She pretended to ride a German Shepherd-- -All right. 295 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:59,041 Looks like you've got a choice to make. It's a trade-Up-off. 296 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:02,002 And I get to be the judge? So much power. 297 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:05,297 I hope it doesn't corrupt me. No. It won't. I'm strong. 298 00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:11,762 Writing, an art form as old as paper. 299 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:14,056 The writer's brain is like a treasure map, 300 00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:18,227 full of hidden gems, but also wrong turns and booby traps. 301 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,145 Mm. Yes, that is true. 302 00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:23,232 Allow me to present the Fidget Winkle. 303 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:27,861 A toy, yes, designed for babies, but also a proven cure for writer's block. 304 00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,905 I heard F. Scott Fitzgerald had one, 305 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:33,659 and let's just say, The Great Gatsby was The Just Okay Gatsby 306 00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:37,454 before old F. Scott put one of these on his desk. [laughs] 307 00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:43,836 I'm sorry! It's just-- His hair. I can't-- Thank you for your consideration. 308 00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:50,509 Inside this envelope lies a coupon. 309 00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:53,345 [chortles] Sorry. Coupon? 310 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:57,016 For a private serenade by local legend The Great Carpaccio. 311 00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:58,976 [screams] Tabitha wins! 312 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:03,856 Yes! Rocketship to Scooterworld in three, two... 313 00:17:03,939 --> 00:17:05,566 [fart plays over recording] 314 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:10,571 I'll wear my Great Carpaccio ascot. Or is it tacky to wear merch? 315 00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:12,364 Carol, I need you! 316 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,367 Well-traded, but you have to give me that Fart Library. 317 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:19,580 You made me promise not to go easy on you. Vin, who's my favorite DJ? 318 00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:22,750 No, it's you. Meet at the station to trade? What? 319 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:25,419 Free bonus lesson. Always do business in public. 320 00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:26,754 No home court advantage. 321 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,048 Ask him to meet in the town square instead. 322 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:32,760 Actually, meet you in the town square? Cool. See you in five. 323 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:36,930 -[smooches] Thanks, Dad's weird thing. -I really wouldn't kiss that. 324 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:42,144 -Hey, maybe Vinny's over this way. -Sure, maybe. 325 00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:45,773 All right, babies, as we sit in Easy Pose, 326 00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:52,780 let's just think about what we think when there's nothing to think about. 327 00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:57,117 I know it's rude to ask, but what is up with that baby's face? 328 00:17:57,201 --> 00:18:01,163 It keeps switching between adorable and a dumpster load of deli meat. 329 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:02,581 I propose a trade. 330 00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:06,001 Give me one minute with the Fart Library in exchange for Winkle. 331 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,922 You can still trade with Vinny and get the Winkle, full keeps no tradebacks. 332 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:13,884 You were gonna take this competition seriously. That's a terrible trade. 333 00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:17,387 Part of my master plan to beat you, details withheld but very real. 334 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:21,517 -Just please, the library. -Okay. See you in one minute. 335 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:27,856 -Ugh. You can actually taste the smells. -[yogi] Show me that deep Forward Fold. 336 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,442 -[farts playing over recording] -[giggling] 337 00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:33,612 -That's adorable. -Isn't he? Look at that. 338 00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:35,155 -[fart plays] -[laughs] 339 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:40,202 Samir, don't reward low comedy. Breaking wind is as natural as blinking. 340 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:43,539 -[farting medley] -[all laughing] 341 00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:46,583 [sniffs] 342 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:49,253 I can smell that Baby Love soaring. 343 00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:53,423 -[sniffing] Ugh. Smells awful. -[JJ] No, that's Pip's dinosaur. 344 00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:54,716 He's teething. 345 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,595 Don't tell him it's just an old egg. He's been so delighted. 346 00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:03,016 Oh, hi. Aren't you all glad I didn't actually take a day off? 347 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:09,273 That laughing fit's gonna last for hours. Antonio's got no card left to play. What? 348 00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,608 You're a natural with little ones. 349 00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,986 [chuckles] I'm all a-blush. 350 00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:17,072 I don't know if my skills are natural or the result 351 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:20,409 of the child development classes my babysitters' co-op is taking. 352 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,245 There are more babysitters like you out there? 353 00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:27,416 [laughs] Oh, we are many. 354 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:31,545 He has lots of cards to play. 355 00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:35,382 Around Phase Seven, we realized we couldn't make Samir too happy 356 00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:36,633 or that would happen. 357 00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:41,013 In fairness, it's not my fault that I wasn't around to get that information. 358 00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:44,850 It absolutely is. You think Vacay Days are there because we're lazy? 359 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:46,435 I pretty clearly do. 360 00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:50,731 We need clear heads to keep us sharp. So we don't blow missions. 361 00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:53,150 [groans] Like I just did. 362 00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:55,569 -I wasn't gonna say it-- -Yes. 363 00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:59,448 -We'll work damage control. You just-- -[Buddy] Chillax. 364 00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:03,035 -What the cartoon sun said. -[Tabitha] One minute. 365 00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:04,870 -Cough it up. -All right. 366 00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:08,582 But be warned, this contest has my full attention now. 367 00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:12,002 You think losing a winkle and fart machine scares me? Ha! 368 00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:14,504 I built a whole company in Chicago with-- 369 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,840 -[whistles] -[crying] 370 00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:21,428 [sighs] Thank you so much. 371 00:20:22,804 --> 00:20:26,225 -Tessa didn't even want that Winkle. -I just followed your lessons. 372 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:30,187 I found a need, and who was most likely to have what I wanted. 373 00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:33,649 I overheard your conversation with JJ when testing my hearing aids. 374 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:37,319 There's been a sitch. You know Smiling Samir? 375 00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,404 [Tabitha] When you proposed a competition, 376 00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:42,741 the fierce Trader-Upper inside of me came alive. Thanks for that. 377 00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:45,827 I'd already found a need, your need to keep working. 378 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:50,082 You couldn't help butting into the mission, so I kept an eye on you. 379 00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:52,501 I watched you trade for Tessa's Fidget Winkle. 380 00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:55,170 But you didn't see what happened after you left. 381 00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:59,508 -[bawling] -Oh, honey. Did you lose your Winkle? 382 00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:03,553 -When Tina told me the next stop was a... -No-toys-allowed baby yoga class. 383 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:05,097 ...I had to get in your head. 384 00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:07,432 How would you make a baby laugh without a toy? 385 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,059 Only one answer to that. 386 00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:10,560 [fart noises] 387 00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,396 [screams] Tabitha wins! 388 00:21:12,479 --> 00:21:16,358 So then, it was just a matter of playing to Dad's rabid Carpaccio fandom 389 00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:20,112 and turning up your desperation with a hot deal that didn't exist. 390 00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:24,074 You made me promise not to go easy on you. Vin, who's my favorite DJ? 391 00:21:24,157 --> 00:21:28,328 You ever think about how whales are just huge? 392 00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:31,498 You offer me the Winkle I need, and bing, bang, scoot, 393 00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:33,125 victory Tabitha. 394 00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:39,381 I'd applaud but my hands are tingling because I'm just so proud. 395 00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:41,216 Hey, I learned from the best. 396 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:45,012 I only wish you'd made it harder on me. That was honestly pretty easy. 397 00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:47,514 Rubbing it in. Like a champ. 398 00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:51,268 Pull that one. Or that one, or-- 399 00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:53,562 You know, this is a one-person job. 400 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:55,814 -I know. -I'm off for a scoot with Yvette. 401 00:21:55,897 --> 00:21:59,901 -You want help when I come back? -Thanks, but take your time. 402 00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:03,905 I like my defeats to sting bitterly, so I remember never to fail again. 403 00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:06,491 I should be pretty quick. Yvette has to babysit. 404 00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:11,830 -Yvette babysits? -She's in business with kids from school. 405 00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:14,082 That's how she bought her scooter. Lucky. 406 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:19,171 She's got a business card. You'd be proud. Later, babies. Love you both. 407 00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:22,466 [ominous music playing] 408 00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:25,052 Hot Purscoot has hit the streets. 409 00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:28,472 Look out, city. You don't stand a chance against us. 410 00:22:28,555 --> 00:22:30,432 [cackles] 411 00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:33,518 Tabitha is scootering with the enemy. 412 00:22:34,269 --> 00:22:35,520 [farts] 413 00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:38,940 Yes! The ultra-rare shocked baby ripper. 414 00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:42,277 Fart Library, volume two, coming in hot! 415 00:22:43,361 --> 00:22:45,363 [theme music playing] 416 00:22:47,657 --> 00:22:49,785 ♪ Boss Baby ♪ 417 00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:51,828 ♪ Boss Baby ♪ 418 00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:53,872 ♪ Boss Baby ♪ 419 00:22:56,833 --> 00:22:59,211 ♪ Boss Baby ♪ -♪ Tell 'em who this is ♪ 420 00:22:59,294 --> 00:23:01,713 -♪ Boss Baby ♪ -♪ I'm a legend, mythic ♪ 421 00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:04,382 ♪ Y'all heard the story But you know what the twist is? ♪ 422 00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:07,552 -♪ Welcome to the family business ♪ -♪ Boss Baby ♪