1
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,933
-Hold all my-- Whoa!
-[laughing]
2
00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:18,351
♪ Boss Baby ♪
3
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,603
♪ I'm the boss
Dial in to the meeting ♪
4
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:22,897
♪ Everybody here?
Please find your seating ♪
5
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,983
♪ While you teething
I'm sinking my teeth in ♪
6
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:27,318
♪ First one to show
So I can do all my greeting ♪
7
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:29,487
♪ Profits, payrolls and pacifiers ♪
8
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,823
♪ I make friends!
I love you, you're hired! ♪
9
00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:34,451
♪ So come on and raise
Your juice boxes skyward ♪
10
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,327
♪ Boss babies until we retire! ♪
11
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,538
-♪ Boss Baby ♪
-♪ Tell 'em who this is ♪
12
00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:40,874
-♪ Boss Baby ♪
-♪ I'm a legend, mythic ♪
13
00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:43,460
-♪ Boss Baby ♪
-♪ Can a baby get a witness ♪
14
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,545
♪ Grab a high chair
This the family business ♪
15
00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:46,880
♪ Boss Baby ♪
16
00:00:48,047 --> 00:00:51,384
Right now, a league
of evil babysitters has a target
17
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:54,012
placed squarely on the back of Baby Love.
18
00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:58,099
All I ask is for the support I need
to crush this movement
19
00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,727
and lead Baby Corp to victory.
20
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,147
I get that. I do.
21
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,899
But it's company policy.
22
00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:10,779
You've worked too many days in a row,
so you're required to take a day off.
23
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:15,533
Or as we call it in
the HR department, a Vacay Day.
24
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:20,038
Trendy abbreviations. Another rung
in the ladder to society's demise.
25
00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:20,997
[Buddy] Totes.
26
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:28,088
Just pick your Vacay D
and LMK ASAP to make it offish, 'kay?
27
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:32,592
Of course, you're no help.
You probably love vacation days.
28
00:01:32,675 --> 00:01:37,180
Oh, you bet I do. I'm saving mine up
for a trip to Floaties Jamaica.
29
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:42,143
Shade-bathing in a thick layer of SPF 500,
running panicked from the surf...
30
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:45,104
Wait, why can't I just save up
my vacation days?
31
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:49,192
You can, but vacation days are different
from mandatory Vacay Days,
32
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:53,196
not to be confused with personal days,
sick days, brain rests, or me time.
33
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:57,033
[groans] The HR department
is like a thesaurus for slacking off.
34
00:01:57,117 --> 00:02:01,913
What's next? Summer Fridays?
Meditation? Working from home?
35
00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:05,708
You heard the baby. Rules are rules.
You gotta take a Vacay Day.
36
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:09,087
[groans] Fine. I'll do it tomorrow.
37
00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:11,965
[Pip] Let me see.
38
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,384
Let me see.
39
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:19,264
Well, I'm not gonna miss
Iggy's first haircut.
40
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:23,518
I meant I'll take my Vacay Day
the next tomorrow.
41
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,355
Aw, hey.
42
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,817
What's our cutest thing for the delivery?
43
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:36,364
Sunglasses! Nothing more adorable than
a baby who wants a grown-up to look cool.
44
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:39,701
Well, I'm not gonna miss
Trike Delivery Baby's birthday party.
45
00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:41,578
Tomorrow, I'm off. I swear.
46
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:50,253
What? Gotta get the perfect light
for Bowtie Baby's 10-month photo shoot.
47
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:53,298
-Ah! I've been bamboozled!
-Busted, m'kay.
48
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:56,259
For crying out loud, take a day off.
49
00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:03,600
Tomorrow's mandatory fridge-cleaning day
at the office. You won't miss a thing.
50
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:09,355
I'd kill to clean
an office fridge right now.
51
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,565
Come on, team.
52
00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:13,401
Let's hear some bold new ideas
for me to shoot down
53
00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:16,821
and improve upon using
my superior business knowledge. Anyone?
54
00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:21,409
You can't keep
coming to work like this, Trevor.
55
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,077
Timmy T.
56
00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:27,123
You writers "work from home." Perhaps you
have some business challenge I could--
57
00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:31,169
Nope, sorry, between the hours
of 9 a.m. and whenever I make lunch,
58
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:34,297
I am inside
an impenetrable creative cocoon.
59
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:38,593
You're eating cereal and watching
medical show bloopers online.
60
00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:41,512
-[man on computer] Dev, you prankster!
-Don't pop my cocoon.
61
00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:46,726
That cable package is a tantalizing offer,
but what I'm offering you
62
00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:50,063
is a day of private business coaching
at an outrageous discount.
63
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:53,149
Can I count on your commitment? Marlene?
64
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:55,526
A telemarketer just hung up on me.
65
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,695
No, it's not funny, Trevor!
66
00:03:58,279 --> 00:03:59,656
-[door opens]
-[gasps]
67
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:04,077
Tabitha, thank goodness you're home.
I'm so unproductive!
68
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,163
Well, I'm glad you're home.
I need some business advice.
69
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,707
[squeals] Anything.
70
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,418
Yvette and I tried
to start a scooter squad.
71
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:15,797
Yvette's got hers,
but electric scooters are super expensive.
72
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,675
I need to figure out how to buy one.
Are you not gonna help me?
73
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:21,719
Lesson's already started!
You're late upstairs! Whoo! Business!
74
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,722
This is how we get your scooter.
75
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:27,517
-With a pen cap?
-A valueless hunk of plastic, right?
76
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,144
It has value,
or you wouldn't ask the question.
77
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:33,940
Wrong! I mean, yes. Hm, you're good.
78
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:38,236
This pen cap is a value seed,
from which your scooter will grow.
79
00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:41,281
How? Trading up. Is it easy?
80
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,574
-Again, you wouldn't have asked if--
-No!
81
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:48,079
But with hard work, business know-how,
and a series of clever, calculated trades,
82
00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:50,915
we will turn this pen cap into...
83
00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:54,335
Sorry, the scooter website's
still loading.
84
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,671
Dad, Are you hogging the Wi-Fi?
85
00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:58,673
[on Tim's computer]
Who put a lizard in my scrubs?
86
00:04:58,756 --> 00:05:00,008
[Tim] Uh... No.
87
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:03,511
Uh, just imagine how cool
it would have been if the scooter loaded.
88
00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:08,016
Remember this!
A key part of business is show business.
89
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:09,142
This is awesome.
90
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:12,312
A whole afternoon
of business lessons from my mentor,
91
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:15,148
and Hot Purscoot
can finally hit the pavement.
92
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:18,318
-It's the name of our scooter squad.
-It's terrible.
93
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:19,902
Yeah. I kind of love it.
94
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,989
Lesson One, find a need.
95
00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:24,907
Need gives an object value.
96
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:29,329
A pen cap may seem worthless,
but find someone who desperately needs it,
97
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:32,206
their weakness becomes our gold.
98
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:37,170
[Tabitha] The caricaturist.
99
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:40,381
No pen to draw with, no money.
Boom, value.
100
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:43,134
Ah. But she knows that. See?
101
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,887
So of course, she'd never lose the cap.
102
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:50,224
[groans] Come on, Tabitha, you wanna
walk everywhere like a common horse?
103
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,727
You're on the right track.
Just keep looking.
104
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:55,146
-Struggling poets?
-Pencil people.
105
00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:56,272
Toddler art class?
106
00:05:56,355 --> 00:06:00,151
You don't need caps when you paint
with boogers. Uh, what about--? [gasps]
107
00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:01,527
Quick Break Quarry.
108
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,405
[Boss Baby] Over-stressed
veterinary surgeons, bond traders,
109
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:07,867
all desperate for the release
of a puzzle come break time.
110
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,160
[Tabitha] They're so confident.
111
00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:12,330
They'd never do a crossword in pencil.
They're pen people.
112
00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:16,000
[Boss Baby] When work calls,
they'll drop a pen cap without a thought.
113
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,836
How many times, Pam?
We sell seashells by the seashore.
114
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:22,090
Not buy seashells, sell the seashore.
What is confusing?
115
00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:25,009
If they have the same need,
who do we trade with?
116
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,594
That would be Lesson Two,
117
00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:29,847
who's most likely to have
something of value to you?
118
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,684
"Charla Lazlo, Attorney at Law."
119
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:37,522
She's got her face on every bus stop
and a purse as big as her face.
120
00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:38,940
Full of treasure, I bet.
121
00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:42,944
Look at you, master up-trader. Go get her.
122
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,238
[Dez] Greetings, sir.
123
00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:49,283
Dez? This was supposed to be a slow day.
Shouldn't you clean the office fridge?
124
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,786
Well, there's been a sitch.
125
00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:53,746
You know Smiling Samir?
126
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:57,750
Five percenter with a smile that could
turn a lemon into a lolly? What?
127
00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:02,088
[JJ] Well, we met a new Uncuddleable
this morning, Antonio.
128
00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:05,341
Showed up at Samir's dad's cafe
with a stack of references
129
00:07:05,424 --> 00:07:08,511
from satisfied babysitting customers
and an offer.
130
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:12,014
One sprightly, soothing walk,
traipsing the out-of-doors,
131
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,976
free of charge as a sample
of our impeccable service.
132
00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:17,687
Quite a deal. Wouldn't you "agwee"?
133
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,814
[JJ] They all "agweed."
134
00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:23,234
[Boss Baby] Ha! Dopes
just did our Baby Love work for us.
135
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:26,154
Taking Samir out
to show off that smile in public?
136
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,573
Yeah, but here's the thing about Samir.
137
00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:29,991
He's always smiling
138
00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:33,619
because of the constant stimulation
at his dad's cafe.
139
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,621
Get him someplace boring...
140
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,790
No jaunty picture books today.
141
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:41,419
We're off to sift through
old town council meeting write-ups.
142
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:44,338
[JJ] ...and that smile
drops into the wrinkly mug
143
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:46,549
of a disapproving British grandpa.
144
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:49,552
-[both] Ugh.
-[Antonio cackling]
145
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,387
No need to worry, Boss.
146
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:56,225
Tina's been running a multi-phase plan
all morning to keep Samir smiling.
147
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,393
-[device chimes]
-Whoop.
148
00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,771
Late for Phase Three.
Enjoy your Vacay Day!
149
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:07,028
-Tina, what can I do to hel--?
-[Buddy] Chillax. You're in Vacay Mode.
150
00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:09,155
What company doesn't want
its employees to work?
151
00:08:09,238 --> 00:08:11,199
Why is the sun wearing sunglasses?
152
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:14,869
Nothing makes sense.
Chillax yourself, gas ball!
153
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,956
What's wrong? She wouldn't trade?
154
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,126
Oh, no, I had Lazlo
begging for that pen cap.
155
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,670
Traded for a travel bottle
of fancy hand cream,
156
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:27,048
which I traded up to a basketball, and--
157
00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:28,841
-I'm so embarrassed.
-What for?
158
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,760
-You're doing great.
-I was.
159
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:34,222
I got impatient thinking how far
I was from an electric scooter,
160
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:38,059
and I'm pretty sure
I just traded down for these.
161
00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:41,521
Used hearing aids.
Freshly used, judging by the wax.
162
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:45,024
Hey, that's a really nice trade.
163
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:47,985
Sorry, what?
Could you talk down to me louder?
164
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:50,571
-Sorry.
-[groans] I'm smart.
165
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,282
I should be good at this.
What am I missing?
166
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,369
-An opponent.
-What?
167
00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:59,872
You're like me, kid.
For us, business is a contact sport.
168
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:04,001
It's not just the win, it's crushing
the competition to get that win.
169
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:07,672
You need the challenge.
That pit fight on the trading floor.
170
00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:10,424
You need me.
171
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,385
One-on-one trade-up-off?
172
00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:15,471
Whoever trades up
to an electric scooter first wins.
173
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,809
-Promise you won't go easy on me.
-[scoffs] I've seen you in competition.
174
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:22,103
You promise not to go easy on me.
175
00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:24,105
Okay. Let's make this interesting.
176
00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:27,441
Loser has to untangle that box
of random cords in the basement.
177
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:28,734
Deal.
178
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,988
You know what I like about smashing?
179
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:36,742
It answers life's most burning question,
what's inside things?
180
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:40,788
Huh. I wonder what's inside this thing.
181
00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:44,917
-Oh, you want to smash it?
-Well, maybe if we traded for it.
182
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:48,546
I'm thinking for that bag
of smushed grapes?
183
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:56,596
A white-breasted nuthatch,
this time of year?
184
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,265
-Where?
-Oh, I don't see it. I hear it.
185
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:03,394
Her call is haunting, like an old
sea shanty sung by bird mermaids.
186
00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:04,770
I don't hear a thing.
187
00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:12,528
Yuck. Smushed grapes? Who'd wanna play
with something gross and mushy?
188
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:13,487
[babbles]
189
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:19,577
You know what would really
make those toes sing? Friction.
190
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:29,670
[in French accent] Oh, how I miss the
sights and sounds of my home in old Paris.
191
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:35,718
Nice day for a picnic, eh?
192
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:39,513
Be happy to trade you my blanket.
What you got in the pack?
193
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:45,394
Tessa, are those new designer booties?
Ricardo Tooshay, classy.
194
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:49,774
Of course, if you had a pair
of shiny binocs instead, you could--
195
00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:52,026
[Dez] Ouch. I am a clown. Ouch.
196
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:53,736
Hold that thought, Tess.
197
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:58,741
[Dez] Boing. Ha, ha!
Bop me again, I dare you. Rebound.
198
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,036
-Tina! What's--?
-[Buddy] Chillax.
199
00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:05,498
-You're in Vacay Mode.
-You bloated ball of freeloading plasma!
200
00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:09,043
Those are the fruits
of your chillaxidaisical attitude.
201
00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:12,088
I wanna change our trade.
The Fidget Winkle.
202
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:14,965
Fidget Winkle,
the goofiest toy on the market,
203
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:16,842
there, top of your toy pile.
204
00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:20,805
[cackles] Perfect.
205
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,023
Bingo.
206
00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:36,821
Okay, uh, O-71.
207
00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:38,781
-What?
-What is she saying?
208
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:39,824
Speak up, you.
209
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,034
I should have traded
the hearing aids here.
210
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,661
I could have gotten a whole car.
211
00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:45,788
-I-22.
-[woman 1] Speak up!
212
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,998
-[host] O-72.
-Hm...
213
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:50,835
-You. You.
-[host] Action's really heating up, folks.
214
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,379
Not you. And you.
215
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,882
Hello, senior sirs and mature ma'ams.
216
00:11:56,966 --> 00:12:01,178
I've calculated the odds,
and one of your cards is about to win.
217
00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:04,598
But I have a special offer
just for you select few.
218
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:08,269
-[all gasp]
-Sticky toffees? Those are contraband.
219
00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:13,232
My daughter says they're too sticky
for my chompers, but I can't resist.
220
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:17,319
This is a trade offer. A handful
of toffees each for your bingo cards.
221
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,822
You want a slim chance
of winning their prize,
222
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:22,575
or a guaranteed mouthful of sticky bliss?
223
00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:25,035
-Toffees.
-I'll take the candy.
224
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,121
[chattering]
225
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,251
Good luck, toffee girl.
226
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:35,379
I don't need luck. I have statistics.
227
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:38,048
-B-14.
-Bingo!
228
00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:42,511
And our youngest winner ever
takes the grand prize.
229
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,096
A coupon.
230
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,890
[seniors groan]
231
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:50,478
This is a tree. There are
over four kinds of trees in the world.
232
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:52,480
I don't know any of them.
233
00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:55,065
That's another one. That's another one.
234
00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:58,027
They're stopping to look at foliage again?
235
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,529
JJ, can we see Phase Six?
236
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:05,618
Not working, just saying hi.
Oh, what's that? Antonio's right there.
237
00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:08,662
Why don't we--? I mean, you just-- What?
238
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:11,499
Oh, you have missed so much.
Let me catch you up.
239
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,334
Phase Three was off to a bang.
240
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,878
I missed a few steps in the Salty Dog Rag,
241
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:18,797
but I caught up eventually
and won a medal.
242
00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:24,220
Then, I found a dinosaur egg.
And it turned into a real dino.
243
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:28,724
I named him Stegathan
and vowed to raise him as my son.
244
00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:32,019
Over time, we grew a deep
and meaningful bond.
245
00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:34,647
Stop. Obviously, none of that happened.
246
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:37,900
Yes, none of that.
247
00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:41,278
Besides, we don't need to catch you up.
You're on Vacay.
248
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,614
Don't worry about us. We're fine.
249
00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:45,616
Yes. I am on Vacay.
250
00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:49,995
And when Dez was being clown-bopped
by an evil babysitter, that was fine.
251
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:54,375
It was. Phase Four, a totally planned bit
of physical comedy to keep Samir giggling.
252
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:55,668
-Dez?
-Clown bop!
253
00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:00,089
-I don't get it.
-That's stress talking.
254
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,132
Go enjoy your Vacay Day.
255
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:05,135
-Recharge, refresh.
-What do you think I've been doing?
256
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:10,015
My industrious protégée Tabitha and I are
engaged in a Trading Up competition,
257
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:14,311
which leads me to why I'm here,
a Fidget Winkle! [chuckles]
258
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:18,440
I can't believe you didn't think of this.
Keeps babies laughing for hours.
259
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,985
-That's the Winkle guarantee.
-[laughing]
260
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:23,320
-[Pip] His mushy hair.
-[Dez] His stupid feet.
261
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,030
His crazy old eyeballs.
262
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,283
Yes, well, that would be helpful,
263
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:30,327
if Samir's next stop
wasn't baby yoga class.
264
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,663
Even better. We can slip it to him while--
265
00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,874
Where no toys are allowed.
266
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,418
So we gotta get a laugh without props, hm?
267
00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:40,379
No. Not we. Us. You go.
268
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:44,466
-Stop turning those brain wheels.
-And it's a yoga class. [gasps]
269
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,802
No! Stop! Teddy!
270
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,221
Tim! Oh, Tim!
271
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,223
Where's my brother who's allowing me
272
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:54,602
to live as a baby
in his home which I appreciate?
273
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:58,397
I hear you two are having
a Trading Up competition. Right on.
274
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:02,359
Oh, hi. I actually came to make a trade.
275
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:04,945
Tim, do you remember
that old tape recorder--?
276
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,739
You mean my Fart Library?
277
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:10,492
A curated audio anthology of farts
collected over many years?
278
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:14,955
Everything from the High Pitched Squeaker
to the elusive Mom Car Fart?
279
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:18,417
[laughs] Moms don't fart.
280
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,252
-[farts on recording]
-[gasps]
281
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,421
Wait. Do you just have that with you?
282
00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:25,674
Usually. Also Tabitha was
already asking to trade me for it.
283
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:26,884
I can't believe it.
284
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:29,720
Did you strike a deal
with Pancake Burrito Vinny,
285
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:31,180
the morning drive DJ too?
286
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:32,264
Who?
287
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,975
Vinny's radio show
survives on fart sounds.
288
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:38,020
And any good trader would know
Vinny's got a unicycle collection,
289
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:41,523
which opens up the whole
pedestrian vehicle trading sector.
290
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:42,775
Sharp move.
291
00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:45,444
-Thanks.
-But I'm getting that Fart Library.
292
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:48,656
[fart blows over recording]
293
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:52,701
From the '99 New Year's celebration,
when Marsha Krinkle tooted on live TV?
294
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,663
-She pretended to ride a German Shepherd--
-All right.
295
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:59,041
Looks like you've got a choice to make.
It's a trade-Up-off.
296
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:02,002
And I get to be the judge? So much power.
297
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:05,297
I hope it doesn't corrupt me.
No. It won't. I'm strong.
298
00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:11,762
Writing, an art form as old as paper.
299
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:14,056
The writer's brain is like a treasure map,
300
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:18,227
full of hidden gems,
but also wrong turns and booby traps.
301
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,145
Mm. Yes, that is true.
302
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:23,232
Allow me to present the Fidget Winkle.
303
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:27,861
A toy, yes, designed for babies,
but also a proven cure for writer's block.
304
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,905
I heard F. Scott Fitzgerald had one,
305
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:33,659
and let's just say, The Great Gatsby
was The Just Okay Gatsby
306
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:37,454
before old F. Scott put one
of these on his desk. [laughs]
307
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:43,836
I'm sorry! It's just-- His hair. I can't--
Thank you for your consideration.
308
00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:50,509
Inside this envelope lies a coupon.
309
00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:53,345
[chortles] Sorry. Coupon?
310
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:57,016
For a private serenade
by local legend The Great Carpaccio.
311
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:58,976
[screams] Tabitha wins!
312
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:03,856
Yes! Rocketship to Scooterworld
in three, two...
313
00:17:03,939 --> 00:17:05,566
[fart plays over recording]
314
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:10,571
I'll wear my Great Carpaccio ascot.
Or is it tacky to wear merch?
315
00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:12,364
Carol, I need you!
316
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,367
Well-traded, but you have
to give me that Fart Library.
317
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:19,580
You made me promise not to go easy on you.
Vin, who's my favorite DJ?
318
00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:22,750
No, it's you.
Meet at the station to trade? What?
319
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:25,419
Free bonus lesson.
Always do business in public.
320
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:26,754
No home court advantage.
321
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,048
Ask him to meet
in the town square instead.
322
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:32,760
Actually, meet you in the town square?
Cool. See you in five.
323
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:36,930
-[smooches] Thanks, Dad's weird thing.
-I really wouldn't kiss that.
324
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:42,144
-Hey, maybe Vinny's over this way.
-Sure, maybe.
325
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:45,773
All right, babies, as we sit in Easy Pose,
326
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:52,780
let's just think about what we think
when there's nothing to think about.
327
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:57,117
I know it's rude to ask,
but what is up with that baby's face?
328
00:17:57,201 --> 00:18:01,163
It keeps switching between adorable
and a dumpster load of deli meat.
329
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:02,581
I propose a trade.
330
00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:06,001
Give me one minute with the Fart Library
in exchange for Winkle.
331
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,922
You can still trade with Vinny and get
the Winkle, full keeps no tradebacks.
332
00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:13,884
You were gonna take this competition
seriously. That's a terrible trade.
333
00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:17,387
Part of my master plan to beat you,
details withheld but very real.
334
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:21,517
-Just please, the library.
-Okay. See you in one minute.
335
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:27,856
-Ugh. You can actually taste the smells.
-[yogi] Show me that deep Forward Fold.
336
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,442
-[farts playing over recording]
-[giggling]
337
00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:33,612
-That's adorable.
-Isn't he? Look at that.
338
00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:35,155
-[fart plays]
-[laughs]
339
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:40,202
Samir, don't reward low comedy.
Breaking wind is as natural as blinking.
340
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:43,539
-[farting medley]
-[all laughing]
341
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:46,583
[sniffs]
342
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:49,253
I can smell that Baby Love soaring.
343
00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:53,423
-[sniffing] Ugh. Smells awful.
-[JJ] No, that's Pip's dinosaur.
344
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:54,716
He's teething.
345
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,595
Don't tell him it's just an old egg.
He's been so delighted.
346
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:03,016
Oh, hi. Aren't you all glad
I didn't actually take a day off?
347
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:09,273
That laughing fit's gonna last for hours.
Antonio's got no card left to play. What?
348
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,608
You're a natural with little ones.
349
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,986
[chuckles] I'm all a-blush.
350
00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:17,072
I don't know if my skills
are natural or the result
351
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:20,409
of the child development classes
my babysitters' co-op is taking.
352
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,245
There are more babysitters
like you out there?
353
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:27,416
[laughs] Oh, we are many.
354
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:31,545
He has lots of cards to play.
355
00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:35,382
Around Phase Seven, we realized
we couldn't make Samir too happy
356
00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:36,633
or that would happen.
357
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:41,013
In fairness, it's not my fault that
I wasn't around to get that information.
358
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:44,850
It absolutely is. You think Vacay Days
are there because we're lazy?
359
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:46,435
I pretty clearly do.
360
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:50,731
We need clear heads to keep us sharp.
So we don't blow missions.
361
00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:53,150
[groans] Like I just did.
362
00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:55,569
-I wasn't gonna say it--
-Yes.
363
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:59,448
-We'll work damage control. You just--
-[Buddy] Chillax.
364
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:03,035
-What the cartoon sun said.
-[Tabitha] One minute.
365
00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:04,870
-Cough it up.
-All right.
366
00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:08,582
But be warned,
this contest has my full attention now.
367
00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:12,002
You think losing a winkle
and fart machine scares me? Ha!
368
00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:14,504
I built a whole company in Chicago with--
369
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,840
-[whistles]
-[crying]
370
00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:21,428
[sighs] Thank you so much.
371
00:20:22,804 --> 00:20:26,225
-Tessa didn't even want that Winkle.
-I just followed your lessons.
372
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:30,187
I found a need, and who was
most likely to have what I wanted.
373
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:33,649
I overheard your conversation with JJ
when testing my hearing aids.
374
00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:37,319
There's been a sitch.
You know Smiling Samir?
375
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,404
[Tabitha] When you proposed a competition,
376
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:42,741
the fierce Trader-Upper inside of me
came alive. Thanks for that.
377
00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:45,827
I'd already found a need,
your need to keep working.
378
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:50,082
You couldn't help butting
into the mission, so I kept an eye on you.
379
00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:52,501
I watched you trade
for Tessa's Fidget Winkle.
380
00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:55,170
But you didn't see what happened
after you left.
381
00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:59,508
-[bawling]
-Oh, honey. Did you lose your Winkle?
382
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:03,553
-When Tina told me the next stop was a...
-No-toys-allowed baby yoga class.
383
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:05,097
...I had to get in your head.
384
00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:07,432
How would you make
a baby laugh without a toy?
385
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,059
Only one answer to that.
386
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:10,560
[fart noises]
387
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,396
[screams] Tabitha wins!
388
00:21:12,479 --> 00:21:16,358
So then, it was just a matter of playing
to Dad's rabid Carpaccio fandom
389
00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:20,112
and turning up your desperation
with a hot deal that didn't exist.
390
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:24,074
You made me promise not to go easy on you.
Vin, who's my favorite DJ?
391
00:21:24,157 --> 00:21:28,328
You ever think
about how whales are just huge?
392
00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:31,498
You offer me the Winkle I need,
and bing, bang, scoot,
393
00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:33,125
victory Tabitha.
394
00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:39,381
I'd applaud but my hands are tingling
because I'm just so proud.
395
00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:41,216
Hey, I learned from the best.
396
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:45,012
I only wish you'd made it harder on me.
That was honestly pretty easy.
397
00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:47,514
Rubbing it in. Like a champ.
398
00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:51,268
Pull that one. Or that one, or--
399
00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:53,562
You know, this is a one-person job.
400
00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:55,814
-I know.
-I'm off for a scoot with Yvette.
401
00:21:55,897 --> 00:21:59,901
-You want help when I come back?
-Thanks, but take your time.
402
00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:03,905
I like my defeats to sting bitterly,
so I remember never to fail again.
403
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:06,491
I should be pretty quick.
Yvette has to babysit.
404
00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:11,830
-Yvette babysits?
-She's in business with kids from school.
405
00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:14,082
That's how she bought her scooter. Lucky.
406
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:19,171
She's got a business card. You'd be proud.
Later, babies. Love you both.
407
00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:22,466
[ominous music playing]
408
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:25,052
Hot Purscoot has hit the streets.
409
00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:28,472
Look out, city.
You don't stand a chance against us.
410
00:22:28,555 --> 00:22:30,432
[cackles]
411
00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:33,518
Tabitha is scootering with the enemy.
412
00:22:34,269 --> 00:22:35,520
[farts]
413
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:38,940
Yes! The ultra-rare shocked baby ripper.
414
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:42,277
Fart Library, volume two, coming in hot!
415
00:22:43,361 --> 00:22:45,363
[theme music playing]
416
00:22:47,657 --> 00:22:49,785
♪ Boss Baby ♪
417
00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:51,828
♪ Boss Baby ♪
418
00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:53,872
♪ Boss Baby ♪
419
00:22:56,833 --> 00:22:59,211
♪ Boss Baby ♪
-♪ Tell 'em who this is ♪
420
00:22:59,294 --> 00:23:01,713
-♪ Boss Baby ♪
-♪ I'm a legend, mythic ♪
421
00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:04,382
♪ Y'all heard the story
But you know what the twist is? ♪
422
00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:07,552
-♪ Welcome to the family business ♪
-♪ Boss Baby ♪