1 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,933 -Hold all my-- Whoa! 2 00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:53,219 I'll let you know about Pop-up Book Club, and good luck with the sleep training. 3 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:56,306 We better scoot. Don't wanna be late for check-ins. 4 00:00:56,389 --> 00:01:00,268 -Tina the machine-a! -Simmons, my R&D BFF! 5 00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:02,353 How'd the rock throwing tournament go? 6 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:05,398 Don't be a flat stone and skip any details! 7 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:06,441 Skip. 8 00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:08,693 That joke made a splash. 9 00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:10,487 Splash. 10 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:14,074 Meeting with the baby who can fire us, promote us 11 00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:17,869 or relocate our cubicle next to "Loud Personal Phone Conversation" Larry. 12 00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:19,329 I love Larry! 13 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,706 -Gotta run. Formula break later? -Yeah. 14 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:27,337 Tina. It's come to my attention you like to play with your food. 15 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:31,549 Yeah! Some babies eat to live, I live to fingerpaint with my eat stuff. 16 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,427 As it happens, I also dabble. 17 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:37,597 Venus de Milo de camembert. 18 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:40,141 That armless lady from museums? 19 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:42,936 I totally see it, and I love it! 20 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,565 Back soon. Save me some teething crackers! 21 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:50,109 Make room! Ma'am's coming through! 22 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,862 -Escort's not really necessary, JJ. -Morning, Tina! 23 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:53,780 Morning! 24 00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:55,198 -Hi -Hi there. 25 00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:56,950 Can't wait to hear all about it. 26 00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:59,702 Headed into a meeting, you understand. 27 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,704 I'm a people baby! 28 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,957 And I'm not even late! I beat Dez. 29 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,334 Doesn't count, he's taking a personal day. 30 00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:07,544 No, I'm here. 31 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:10,213 You know how it is. You try to take some me time 32 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:13,007 but you always wind up dragged into a meeting anyway. 33 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:15,009 I'm sorry, you looked so cozy. 34 00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:17,220 And I'm incapable of feeling sorry. 35 00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:21,057 Just living that beanbag life. Being a seat. 36 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,183 Beanbagging. 37 00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:26,563 Apologies for being late. Woke up with a doozy of a diaper rash. 38 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:31,568 Lucky for me, my sponsor also produces a miracle cure diaper cream: 39 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:34,612 Buttsoothers. It gets medieval on your rash. 40 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:37,031 How long is the miracle cure supposed to take? 41 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,283 Already cured. 42 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:39,200 Love... 43 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,118 me... 44 00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:42,036 some Buttsoothers. 45 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,622 Let's see those five percenters check-ins. 46 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,249 Cammy, bring up the feeds. 47 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,628 Spectacles Baby is crawling now? 48 00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:54,591 Expect a high-side mobility bump in tomorrow's Baby Love numbers. 49 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:55,675 Love that! 50 00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:59,512 All reports show a successful park stroll with Baby Iggy. 51 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,014 Maximum hair gawking. 52 00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:03,016 It's so shiny! 53 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:07,145 Bounce House Bruiser should... 54 00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:08,771 be here... 55 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,106 bouncing. 56 00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:12,483 This is her normal bounce time, right? 57 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:15,111 Bringing up yesterday's feed from the same time. 58 00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:16,404 Without me even asking? 59 00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:19,866 -Cammy, you're so proactive today! -I've been listening to 60 00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:21,993 a self-improvement audio picture book. 61 00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:24,078 -And it shows. -Thank you. 62 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,457 All right, so... 63 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:28,917 Same time yesterday... 64 00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:32,879 And back to today. 65 00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:35,590 Why am I not seeing bouncing? 66 00:03:35,673 --> 00:03:38,134 -I'll dig around and report back. -Great! 67 00:03:38,217 --> 00:03:42,388 But with Buttsoothers, you'll never have to dig around back again. 68 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,642 Show me more cute babies! 69 00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:48,311 Gassy Francis. 70 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:49,437 Wait for it... 71 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,357 -Music to my ears! 72 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,860 Now, where are we on getting that dirty south sound? 73 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:58,571 -Answered my own question. 74 00:03:58,655 --> 00:03:59,572 Moving on. 75 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,241 Trike Delivery Baby. 76 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,784 -Aww. -Thank you! 77 00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:06,037 Delivering up cuteness at the tricycle park. 78 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:07,163 What'd you find out? 79 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,082 Nobody's seen Bruiser all morning. 80 00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:11,918 Word around the bounce house is she got a new tricyc-- 81 00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:13,753 -Look out! -Oh, no! 82 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:18,216 Found her! 83 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:22,178 What is she doing at the tricycle park? That's not her thing! 84 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:29,602 A five percenter turf war. 85 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:32,063 It's Crowd Cam Baby all over again. 86 00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:33,481 -No! -Bean bag gasp! 87 00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:36,442 -We can't take another one of those! -Another one of what? 88 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:39,737 It was last year's championship... 89 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:43,199 Packed stadium, prime conditions for our Crowd Cam Baby 90 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:47,328 to work her five percenter magic on the stadium screen. 91 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:49,664 That baby's much cuter. 92 00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:53,126 No one realized Always-Wears-A-Costume Baby's parents 93 00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:55,295 were also big sports fans. 94 00:04:57,463 --> 00:05:00,508 Long story short, she got her picture in the paper 95 00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:02,802 and on several government lists. 96 00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:06,264 I want that cleared up as quickly as... 97 00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:07,640 Buttsoothers... 98 00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:09,600 heals... 99 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,352 diaper rash. 100 00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:15,565 To the trike park! 101 00:05:16,774 --> 00:05:17,692 Dez, you in? 102 00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:21,946 How can I take a day off with my team facing a turf war? Chupie me! 103 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,489 Ow! No. 104 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,034 Is that where you think my mouth is? 105 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:44,218 Bruiser. What's it gonna take to get you back in the bouncy house? 106 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:45,636 Gummies? Lollies? 107 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:49,474 Various candies left in a hot car and melted together into one supercandy? 108 00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,184 Every baby has their price. 109 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:56,939 Kid didn't respond to bribery! What am I supposed to do with that? 110 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,817 -Maybe I should give it a shot. -I admire the optimism, 111 00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:03,112 but this is the worst baby I've seen since Scooter Buskie! 112 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,364 -You know Father Buskie? -The local priest 113 00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:08,618 who started a food distribution ministry in Sub-Saharan Africa? 114 00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:11,537 When I grow up, I want to assume his identity! 115 00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,206 Fine, bad example. But-- 116 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:15,792 No baby's so bad they can't be turned around. 117 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,086 And I'm exactly the baby for the job. 118 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:19,504 -Know why? -Karate! 119 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:20,880 Next question. 120 00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:22,924 I'm a people baby! Everybody loves me! 121 00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:25,676 Wow, you are just 95% ego. 122 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,637 It's not ego, I just do the work. 123 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,056 I love loving what people love. 124 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:32,934 We got a five percenter that yawns, so I... 125 00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:36,062 We got a five percenter that burps, so I... 126 00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:38,397 And we got a baby that trikes, so... 127 00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:41,859 Baby, I trike. 128 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,208 Yoo-hoo, special delivery! 129 00:06:57,291 --> 00:07:00,711 Don't worry. I'll get you on your delivery beat in no time. 130 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:07,218 Hey there. Couldn't help but admire your trike skills-- 131 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:14,225 I'm actually a triker myself. Thought we could compare notes-- 132 00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,317 Nothing? Come on! 133 00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:27,280 Of course! You're the Bounce House Bruiser! 134 00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:29,240 You bruise, so I... 135 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,621 Huh? We're practically sisters now, right? 136 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:39,167 Who is this baby attacking my precious angel of creation? 137 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:44,005 Hi, sweetheart, I'm gonna need to talk to your neglectful parents. 138 00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:46,340 Code helicopter! Engage evasivity! 139 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:50,303 Can I speak with whichever parenting class dropout isn't supervising this--? 140 00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:53,389 Whoa! 141 00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:56,976 -You! -Beanbag! 142 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:03,316 Oh, sure, toddle away, unsupervised babies! 143 00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:06,527 But you and your snooze-button parents are on notice! 144 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:10,281 And just when Bruiser and I became best friends. 145 00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:13,493 We won't be able to get anywhere near Bruiser now. 146 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:16,579 Sure we can. We just need supervision. 147 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,122 Tabitha! 148 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,790 Come to the park with me! 149 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:22,502 Oh, Tabitha's out for the afternoon, Tina, baby. 150 00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,212 -What about Daddy? -With Tabitha. 151 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,422 They went to meet their favorite sci-fi author. 152 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,758 Or least favorite. I can't remember. 153 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:34,055 Glorbigon and hello, residents of Earth Classic! 154 00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:37,600 -Who should I make this out to? -I don't want an autograph. 155 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:40,686 I want you to rewrite this predictable, cliche ending. 156 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:44,607 Author to author? I'd listen to the kid. 157 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,319 -What do you want it to say? -Surprise me. 158 00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:49,529 For a change. 159 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:50,613 Darn it! 160 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:53,533 Will you come to the trike park with me? 161 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:58,538 Oh, mi vida, I hate that park almost as much as I love you. 162 00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:02,917 Let's do something else, yeah? A baby hippo was just born in the zoo. 163 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,961 What's its name? Can I name it Rodney? 164 00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,797 Is it still teeny tiny? Or are they born all gigantic? 165 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,425 Wait. No. It has to be the park. This is a Baby Corp mission. 166 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:14,595 Oh, then you have all those hi-tech doodads. 167 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:15,638 You don't need me. 168 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,056 We need supervision. 169 00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:20,351 -Protection, really. -Protection from what? 170 00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:22,687 A helicopter mom. 171 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,275 -Strap in. -Yes! 172 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,611 -Welcome to the team, Mrs.--! 173 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:33,781 -Demon bean bag! -No, it's okay he's just undercover! 174 00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:44,750 Cool. And where's the helicopter mama that launched that missile? 175 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,377 Smile for mommy! 176 00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:49,589 Aw, there's one for the nondenominational holiday card. 177 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:51,507 Isn't she the cutest? 178 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:54,594 You don't have to answer if it'll hurt your child's self-esteem. 179 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:55,928 Look at you. 180 00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,597 Mother of the year. 181 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,057 Hm... and which one's yours? 182 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,018 Oh. 183 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:06,063 Hate to have to tell you, but that one was really acting up. 184 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,940 Snuggywug? Angel love? 185 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:11,193 Mommy needs her phone for preserving precious memories of you! 186 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,571 You want me to get her thrown out of the park 187 00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:15,489 or I get to do the actual throwing? 188 00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:18,409 Just need some friendly chitchat. Keep mommy occupied 189 00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:20,703 while we steer Bruiser back to the bounce house. 190 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:22,288 What? No! 191 00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:25,916 I thought you brought me here to kick butt, not talk face. 192 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,044 Tina, you know how I feel about park mommies. 193 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:30,880 Yeah, that's why I would've preferred Tabitha or Dad. 194 00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:33,299 You can do this, I know it! 195 00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:37,887 Bad news: Delivery Baby's planning a hostile takeover 196 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:40,181 to Bruiser's hostile takeover. 197 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:49,815 -I hate this park. -Thanks. Love you, Mommy! 198 00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:57,531 He's bringing Bruiser a special delivery: mud pie to the face! 199 00:10:58,115 --> 00:10:59,950 Spiked with icky bugs! 200 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,411 We can't let this turf war escalate! 201 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,580 Pip, no! What is he--?! 202 00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:07,416 Anger makes you smaller. 203 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,627 Vegetables make you bigger. 204 00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:18,969 What? Did I step in mice again? 205 00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:21,931 No, I just didn't expect that from the baby who told me 206 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:25,684 -he doesn't know right from wrong. -Oh, I don't. 207 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:28,562 That's why my baba shows me all those videos. 208 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,523 "Don't put that in your ear, baby!" 209 00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,983 "Look out, you're gonna step in mice!" 210 00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:35,986 Oh, come on! 211 00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:40,157 I know you must've seen "You can't eat electricity." 212 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,784 Put the fork down, baby. 213 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:44,453 I know that power socket looks delicious, 214 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:48,791 but here's what electricity looks like in your digestive system... 215 00:11:50,709 --> 00:11:52,086 Gross! Yuck! 216 00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:53,170 More! 217 00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:01,971 Hey, girlfriend! It's me, your best bud from earlier. 218 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:06,851 I don't have enemies! You and me shared a shove! 219 00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:09,645 -We looked into each other's eyes! 220 00:12:09,728 --> 00:12:13,941 What does that mean, you "marked" me for life? Hey! 221 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:26,454 Your daughter's speed is very unsafe. 222 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:28,622 So...? 223 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,916 Does your kid do daycare? 224 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,919 Um... Early education is crucial. 225 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:37,631 She does half days at Greater Tots of Upper Lower Riverwoods Pre-pre-k. 226 00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:41,135 Carbon-neutral snack times. Their mascot is the concept of identity. 227 00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:44,555 It's pricey enough to keep the riff-raff out. Unlike this park. 228 00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:51,187 Someday when I'm your maid of honor 229 00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,689 and you ask me to give a speech at your wedding, 230 00:12:53,772 --> 00:12:56,025 we're gonna remember this and laugh so hard! 231 00:12:57,234 --> 00:12:59,278 Sorry, Bruiser. Can you hold on a jiff? 232 00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:01,572 Peace talks with Delivery Baby broke down. 233 00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:04,658 Kid's got a stack of mud pies and a crackerjack arm. 234 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,162 Please give me some good news on-- 235 00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:11,957 Is that Bruiser behind you with the glint of bloodshed in her eyes? 236 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:12,875 Yeah. 237 00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:14,251 Say hi, Bruiser! 238 00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:17,338 We're bonding now, results soon! 239 00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:20,174 Tina's plan's a bust. We need a new strategy pronto. 240 00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:24,678 Ah! Don't put that in your ear, baby! 241 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,849 Hey, Pip, I don't suppose you have a video on tricycle safety? 242 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:34,104 You mean "The Three Wheeled Boo-Boo Machine?" Heck, yeah I do! 243 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,527 So we probably should get the get-to-know-ya's out of the way: 244 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:41,070 favorite bedtime story, go. 245 00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:47,201 Don't be silly, how would your foot even fit up in there? 246 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,745 -Psst! -Huh? 247 00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:53,749 Ooh! Ain't no party like a hoedown party. 248 00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:56,502 And give me a plus-one for my new best bud! 249 00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:06,512 Hello, children. It's me, Ranger Safety Binkerton. 250 00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:08,973 You don't like getting boo-boos, do you? 251 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:16,897 Then be very wary of tricycles! 252 00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:22,486 The devilish boo-boo machines heck-bent on covering your body in ouchies. 253 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:26,866 -What is this? -Our best chance to end this turf war. 254 00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:31,370 It's a dangerous ride with three wheels and three rules. 255 00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:32,830 Stay off of them. 256 00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:34,248 Never use them. 257 00:14:34,331 --> 00:14:36,250 And never ever use them. 258 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,380 I want to look away, but I can't! 259 00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:42,339 I know! 260 00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:45,426 This'll scare Bruiser into ditching trikes forever. 261 00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:47,261 She goes back to the bounce house 262 00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:50,472 and everything returns to five percenter business as usual. 263 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,433 Uh-oh. 264 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,644 Poor Gussy. 265 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:04,403 Scare-tactics? Fear-mongering? 266 00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:06,113 That's not the Baby Corp way! 267 00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:10,409 Uh, you weren't around when Marketing coined the phrase "biological clock." 268 00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:12,244 This isn't even necessary! 269 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,622 I was getting somewhere with Bruiser. 270 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:18,167 That's objectively untrue. This video's the only way. 271 00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:24,173 Why, imagine a tsunami bearing down on you at breakneck speed. 272 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:28,302 Do you really think that your tricycle is going to help you? 273 00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:29,929 -Look out! -Beanbag! 274 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:32,056 Come on, I'm busting you out. 275 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:55,454 -Ugh! -Ew, bugs! 276 00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:14,848 I'm gonna say it. Your daughter is a bad influence. 277 00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:18,811 Are you locals, or trainhoppers just drifting through? 278 00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:22,898 Just, shh! All right? I'm not thrilled about her behavior either. 279 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,150 But I'm the parent putting an end to this. 280 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:32,908 You... 281 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,118 like me! 282 00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:41,000 -What are you doing? -I figured out how to reach her! 283 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:45,087 I just have to love what she loves: unremorseful naughtiness! 284 00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:48,590 You can't stand that maybe one baby doesn't like you. 285 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:49,800 Get back here. 286 00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:52,928 Hm? What's that? I can't hear you above my naughtiness! 287 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,638 No-no-no. Don't--! 288 00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:57,182 Oh, the hot dog! 289 00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:00,561 Hot dog. The meat of anarchy. 290 00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:04,189 Tina! Come to Mommy, baby! 291 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:09,236 Listen to Mommy's words, which I know you understand... 292 00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:11,697 Don't... 293 00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:14,324 you even... 294 00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:16,076 -dare! 295 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:19,163 My gift from heaven shouldn't hang out with your daughter. 296 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:21,582 Cool, cool, cool! Put it in writing! 297 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:31,300 Any idea why the Baby Love Meter is going, like, whoo, banana bonkers right now? 298 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:34,386 Figured it could be a software glitch, but then I thought-- 299 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,263 Not us, definitely glitch! 300 00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:48,317 Don't give up! The world needs artists! 301 00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:54,448 -You have to stop this! -But I got Bruiser on my side 302 00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:57,284 and I'm this close to getting her back to the bounce house. 303 00:17:57,367 --> 00:18:00,621 -This is for the mission! -Look around, you've become the mission! 304 00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:05,667 What a time, huh? Thrill of the chase. 305 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,753 Naughty rushing through our veins. 306 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:11,799 But triking's got nothing on the power you feel in the old bounce house. 307 00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:12,883 Wouldn't you say? 308 00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:16,845 Oh, yeah. No, you're right. Let's keep triking for now. 309 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,138 I love destruction. 310 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:25,854 It's over, Tina. 311 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,482 -Tina. You come to your mother. -Honey! 312 00:18:28,565 --> 00:18:30,442 It's time for your carbon-neutral snack. 313 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:34,071 You don't have to specify, the baby doesn't care! 314 00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:35,531 Been a fun ride. 315 00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,825 Maybe I'll see you around the bounce house? 316 00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,756 Tina Templeton! 317 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:56,176 You don't have to yell. Kids are naturally rebellious... 318 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,720 No, you're right. You make a good point-- 319 00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:02,516 ...if they don't have a good mother around to set boundaries. 320 00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:06,520 Mommy's coming to save you from poor example modeling, sweet angel! 321 00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:12,651 You owe me a very long, detailed explanation for this. 322 00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:14,403 Hey, she's not my daughter. 323 00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:17,406 Yeah. Sure, explanation later. Just catch those trikes. 324 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,745 Her fault! 325 00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,916 With the rules you set up on cyclops blood, 326 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,795 it would never have any effect on the dwarven gauntlets of jackhammering. 327 00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:34,965 Yes! I never thought of that. 328 00:19:35,048 --> 00:19:37,384 And what's with Althea's Solar-77 arc? 329 00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:40,053 I mean, space wolves? Come on. 330 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:43,640 I've been such a fool! Wolves can't live in space! 331 00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,642 You know what this ending needs? 332 00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:47,227 Laser giraffes! 333 00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:54,693 Faster! We're losing them! Giddyup! Hyah! Hyah! 334 00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:58,113 So help me, Teddy, if you kick me one more time, I will-- 335 00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:00,199 What? 336 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:05,162 Hey, we're actually not far from the bounce house. 337 00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:08,457 What do you say we head over? Get some bounce on? 338 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:15,797 This is it! 339 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:20,052 Yes, Bruiser, I will take you as my best friend from this day forward, 340 00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:21,803 in sickness and in health-- 341 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,140 You wanna do what?! 342 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:28,060 Are there classes on the dark web about raising awful children, 343 00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:31,188 or is it just a character flaw you have to be born with? 344 00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:33,106 -What are they--? -A trip wire! 345 00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,570 Well, I can tell you one thing. 346 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:41,448 My child didn't learn that behavior in my home. 347 00:20:42,866 --> 00:20:44,618 I love friendship. 348 00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:47,871 With a parent like you, I'm surprised 349 00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:51,208 she's not stuck in a mine shaft or a dogfighting kennel. 350 00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:59,883 You're a bad mommy. 351 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,678 No! 352 00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:14,648 Jump ropes: The Devil's Floss. 353 00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:17,276 You tried to warn us, Ranger Binkerton. 354 00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:20,529 -Can I--? -I don't need your help, thanks! 355 00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:23,031 I will be mommyblogging about this later! 356 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:26,618 Mark my perfectly chosen and relatably evocative words! 357 00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:31,456 Oh, give it a rest, you bullying jerk. 358 00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:37,587 What? Sometimes you gotta call them out. 359 00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:39,965 You're never gonna get everyone to like you. 360 00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:43,010 -So don't wreck yourself trying. -But she's a five percenter! 361 00:21:43,093 --> 00:21:44,886 We got one out of two back. 362 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,763 That's something, ma'am. 363 00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:47,889 Aw! 364 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:50,100 What if Bruiser doesn't go back to the bounce house? 365 00:21:50,183 --> 00:21:52,311 I could fill in till we find a replacement. 366 00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:55,772 I'm naturally bouncy and incapable of being lured away by tricycles. 367 00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:57,274 Because I am a beanbag. 368 00:21:57,357 --> 00:22:00,402 Lured away? Where did Bruiser get that trike? 369 00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:02,738 Kids said it was from her babysitter. 370 00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:05,157 -Oh, my gosh, Ms. Hansen-Jansen! 371 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:06,408 Uncuddleable! 372 00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:09,286 Are you guys okay? Are you injured, sweetie? 373 00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:12,205 Show me in the sign language I taught you. 374 00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:14,291 -She's fine. 375 00:22:14,374 --> 00:22:17,669 Mia, you are just the best babysitter! 376 00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:18,837 Babysitting! 377 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:22,007 That's how the Uncuddleables are getting to our five percenters! 378 00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:24,217 Wow, that's really impressive, Mia! 379 00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:25,469 Thank you! 380 00:22:25,552 --> 00:22:28,138 My friends and I have a babysitting co-op. 381 00:22:28,221 --> 00:22:32,768 We believe a lot more good can come from babysitting than just making money. 382 00:22:32,851 --> 00:22:36,438 -Babysitters can change the world. 383 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,275 And you thought it was a duck. 384 00:22:40,358 --> 00:22:42,277 Are we still doing this?