1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:44,440 No dad, don't you worry. 4 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:46,920 Honestly, I've got it. No you sit down. 5 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:48,160 Cheeky, git. 6 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:50,400 Take us in, it’s gonna start getting dark. 7 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:21,960 There you go old man. 8 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:35,040 Oi, dinner. 9 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,840 My dad, by Charlie Winter. 10 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:41,520 How old was I when I wrote this? 11 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:46,840 Eight.. 12 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:47,800 What you doing? 13 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,040 My dad by Charlie Winter. 14 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,840 My dad is a fisherman. 15 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:59,880 He goes out to sea and then comes back again. 16 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:02,280 His boat is big, old and red. 17 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:06,080 But on my birthday we’re painting it any colour I want, that's what he said. 18 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,480 When he takes me out, we have so much fun, but 19 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:13,920 he only takes me out when it's not stormy and there is sun, when he is fishing, 20 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,840 he sings but doesn't know, it's a slow 21 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,600 and sad song, full of woe. 22 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,840 So that's my dad, and his name is John, 23 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,480 he gets up early and not home till the sun is gone. 24 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,440 But when I'm older, that's what I want to be, 25 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:32,600 with him together, out on the sea. 26 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,160 That is terrible. 27 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:37,480 Yeah, well, I love it. 28 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,400 So make sure you put it back up. 29 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,400 We never did paint the boat. 30 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:46,080 No, that must have been my ninth, 31 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,520 That must have been what, for my ninth, 32 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,760 tenth birthday? 33 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,320 I said for your 10th birthday. 34 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,240 We could paint the boat whatever colour you wanted. 35 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,720 We, we even went and got the paints and everything remember? 36 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,160 Yeah, I think I do. 37 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,760 We went to Breens garden center, made a day of it. 38 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:09,880 We did, well remembered. 39 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:15,280 Also, when he is fishing, he sings but doesn't know. 40 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:17,440 It's a slow and sad song full of woe. 41 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:20,040 What sort of eight year old knows what the word woe means? 42 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,040 That was your mum. 43 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,480 She hated that song. 44 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,680 Especially when I sang it. 45 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:29,600 Did she? 46 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:33,600 Speaking of your mum. 47 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,920 When are you going to go see her? 48 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,680 I’ll go see her soon, I’ll told you. 49 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,760 Just with work and everything. 50 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,920 No don’t you be using work as an excuse cus it’s me that’ll get it in the neck for that. 51 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,960 Shouldn’t work me so hard then. 52 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:52,400 When's the last time you saw her? 53 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,800 It’s not me she wants to see is it. 54 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:12,400 We didn't catch much this week. 55 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:16,400 No 56 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,560 Or last week. 57 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,320 Or last week. 58 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:30,880 Why aren’t you looking at me?c 59 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,000 Are we alright? 60 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,200 I mean, money wise. 61 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:42,200 Look, what’s brought this on? 62 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,080 I see how much money's coming in working at the market. 63 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,840 I know what a good week is, I know what a bad week is. 64 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,680 We've had some bad weeks. 65 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,760 Yes it's been slow, but we're used to that this time of year. 66 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,480 I was going to say, I don't mind taking a pay cut. 67 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:59,240 Charlie, we’re fine. 68 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:03,960 All I'm saying is I'm eighteen now. 69 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:07,120 You can tell me this stuff. 70 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,080 You're eighteen are you? 71 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,320 you a big boy now? 72 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,120 You’re not eighteen for two days. 73 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,600 Till then you’re still my little, baby boy. 74 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:17,840 Fuck sake, dad. 75 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:21,040 Oi, fucking swear at me. 76 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,080 Remember market’s miles away tomorrow. 77 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:29,440 So up early. 78 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:39,560 Sorry for swearing. 79 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:41,680 Yeah, 80 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,520 yeah. 81 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,560 I forget how easily offended old men get. 82 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:47,360 Get to 83 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,280 Night old man. 84 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:29,920 No, twist round. 85 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,640 Just grab that end. 86 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:36,480 Like I haven’t done this before, huh? 87 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:39,640 Yeah but you always do it wrong don’t you. 88 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,440 Ease over. 89 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,320 What’s happened here? 90 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,720 Was that you? 91 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,520 It was like that this morning. 92 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,920 It was already like that, I didn’t do that. 93 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,240 That's fine 94 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,480 Dad you need a new box. 95 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,160 It’s falling apart. 96 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,280 It does the job. 97 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,240 No it doesn't, look. 98 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,600 It’s older than me dad. 99 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,800 that is older than me 100 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,600 that's falling apart. 101 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,520 Look they're all in there. 102 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:54,240 Won’t be long. 103 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:39,480 Nige. 104 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,680 How many? 105 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:54,080 Eight crab, twelve lobster. 106 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:01,160 When I said I could take a handful of what you didn't sell, 107 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:05,160 I meant, five, ten. 108 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,840 not twenty, thirty. 109 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,320 Every week mate. 110 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:24,320 Took your time. 111 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,160 He was playing hard ball. 112 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,280 Dad. 113 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,440 Can I drive us home. 114 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,400 Really? 115 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:45,920 Not a fucking chance. 116 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,840 Yeah hilarious. 117 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,480 Oh dear. 118 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,680 fuck, Mary, it's me. 119 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,400 Mary it’s me. 120 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,920 How are you? 121 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,800 Good. 122 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,320 Look I’m sorry for calling. 123 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,920 I’ve been. 124 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,040 I wasn’t sure if you... 125 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:55,440 So, it’s Charlies birthday tomorrow and I was thinking that 126 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:59,800 after I finished the boat, going to the pub and buying him his first pint. 127 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:01,680 I was wondering 128 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:05,760 if you maybe want to be there. 129 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:09,360 Obviously it'd be great to see you. 130 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:13,320 But I totally understand if you you didn't 131 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,160 Yeah well I’ll leave it with you. 132 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:20,280 You can let me know. 133 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:20,800 All right? 134 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:22,400 Okay. All right. I'll. 135 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,080 I'll speak to you later. Bye. 136 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,120 Jez money's on the counter. 137 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:52,600 Dad you done? 138 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,160 Yeah cheers. 139 00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,160 Leave em, I’ll do em. 140 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:01,960 You alright? 141 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:03,400 yeah. 142 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,320 You just offered to do the dishes. 143 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:08,760 Something's wrong. 144 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:10,280 It's your birthday tomorrow. 145 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:11,520 Thought I'd be nice. 146 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:12,680 Yeah, what d’you get me? 147 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,120 Doing the dishes aren’t I.. 148 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,120 You dickhead. 149 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,760 Oi, what about told you about swearing at me. 150 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,280 To not fucking do it. 151 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,200 Exactly. 152 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:23,520 Night. 153 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:25,040 Night. 154 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,600 You coming to work today or... 155 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,280 Hysterical. 156 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,240 Hey. 157 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:10,120 I was in the shed last night, tidying up a few things 158 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:15,080 and I found this. 159 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,800 This is the knife when you were six 160 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,800 and you carved into the side 161 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,240 of the stern of my boat just down there. 162 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,840 Daddys boat 163 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,960 I remember, it’s still there. 164 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,680 After I caught you, I took it away from you 165 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:36,920 for about six months. 166 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,040 You didn't shut up about this knife. 167 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,680 It even got you in trouble at school. 168 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:43,600 One Christmas. 169 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,600 You wrote a letter to santa asking him for a knife. 170 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,120 That was an interesting phonecall with your teacher. 171 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,680 Well after that your mum suggested well 172 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,440 told me 173 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,600 to put this in the shed so you can find it 174 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:03,360 and I did, I just forgot about it. 175 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,960 And I saw it there last night 176 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:09,520 and I thought 177 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,640 Happy birthday. 178 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,880 You got my eighteenth birthday present 179 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:25,600 from the shed 180 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,600 I love it, thanks. 181 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:31,320 Right 182 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:33,680 What say we eat 183 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:35,000 And we call it a day. 184 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,560 Sounds good. 185 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,200 You know what else sounds good 186 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,400 Pub. 187 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:02,600 There’s Ron. 188 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,400 Go and grab a seat, I’ll get us some drinks. 189 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:10,920 Hello, stranger. 190 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,520 I almost forgot what you look like. 191 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:17,240 And, handsome as ever. 192 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:18,880 You look like you need a drink. 193 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,520 Yeah I do, make it two though. 194 00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:26,040 Two, double parking not like you. 195 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:28,360 Charlie's eighteenth today. 196 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:32,520 Marge, add one more to those please. 197 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,120 I wasn't sure you'd make it 198 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,040 Not seen you in a while. 199 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,960 Today was always going to happen. 200 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,680 I wasn't sure if you were gonna be here. 201 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,520 Well one, I practically live here. 202 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:45,360 He's not wrong. 203 00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:46,480 And two.... 204 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:48,920 Oi. 205 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:51,120 and two 206 00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:54,160 I wouldn't miss Charlies birthday for the world mate. 207 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:55,360 Especially his eigteenth. 208 00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,040 You speak to Mary. 209 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,800 Yeah well, I spoke to her, 210 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,600 you know. 211 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,360 Oh I'll get these. 212 00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:07,240 No, no I’ll get em. 213 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:07,680 No. 214 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:08,720 At least let me get Charlies. 215 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,440 John. 216 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:11,520 please 217 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,040 let me buy my godson his first pint. 218 00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:20,240 Sure, thanks. 219 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:22,720 Now. 220 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:24,800 I'm not sure if the others 221 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,400 have remembered that it's Charlies birthday. 222 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:31,520 Well they haven’t said anything, but I wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to keep it quiet. 223 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,880 No, no it's fine he won't mind. 224 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,800 You sure? 225 00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:42,920 As long as you don't start singing 226 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:45,800 Ron 227 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:46,640 Oi oi. 228 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,120 Here he fucking is. 229 00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:49,440 All right, all right. 230 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:50,560 Let’s have it then. 231 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,520 Here, how’s it you got less hair this time than the last time I saw you. 232 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,520 And you had fuck all then. 233 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:56,960 Oh, Tucks. 234 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,040 See you got back in. 235 00:22:58,040 --> 00:22:58,920 Didn't see your boat. 236 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,080 Got in about an hour ago. 237 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:01,920 Hang on. 238 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:03,000 There it is. 239 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,640 It's behind your ears. 240 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,840 Fucking hysterical as always mate. 241 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,080 Eh 242 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,920 That’s from Ron. 243 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:13,920 Ron. 244 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:14,960 Ron thanks. 245 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,200 Ron, thanks. 246 00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:21,040 My absolute pleasure. 247 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,680 Fellas, fellas everyone got a drink. 248 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:27,640 Urm. 249 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,480 A very special day today 250 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,440 Now he’s kept quiet so I'm not sure what he wants everyone to know but 251 00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:39,280 today's our Charlie's eighteenth birthday. 252 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,840 Now I know I've not done a lot right in my life, but... 253 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:45,720 A lot of mistakes. 254 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,840 But 18 years ago. 255 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,920 John asked me to be Charlie's godfather. 256 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,600 No matter what happens, I'll always be there. 257 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:56,280 John, 258 00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,200 thank you for inviting me to be part of your family. 259 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,720 It is, and it will always be my biggest 260 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,240 and my proudest responsibility, 261 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,240 although it's probably not the best night to be talking about responsibility 262 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,320 as we’re all about to get absolutely fucking hammered. 263 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:16,720 But first. 264 00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:18,320 But first 265 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,520 he's going to sing, isn't he? 266 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,880 Told him not to. 267 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,080 But first, 268 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,480 please join me 269 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,760 for Charlie 270 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,040 Charlie 271 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:38,280 Sunset and Evening Star 272 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,480 and one clear call for me 273 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:46,320 and may there be no moaning of the bar 274 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:50,240 when I put out to see 275 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:55,720 when I put out to sea. 276 00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:01,480 When I put out to sea. 277 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:06,360 And may there be no moaning of the bar 278 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:12,680 when I put out to sea. 279 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:16,760 Twilight and evening bell 280 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:20,400 And after that the dark 281 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:25,480 And may there be no sadness of farewell 282 00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:29,280 when I embark 283 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:35,400 when I embark 284 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:40,160 when I embark 285 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:46,160 And may there be no sadness of farewell 286 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:50,880 When I embark. 287 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,960 Now let’s get fucking pissed, yes please Margaret 288 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:59,120 Come on Margaret, you slag. 289 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:02,320 Shit you’re heavy. 290 00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:06,400 What d’you mean, I'm carrying you? 291 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:07,920 Oh, yeah. 292 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:25,040 Do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man. 293 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:26,880 what you singing that for? 294 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,040 That was your favorite song as a kid. 295 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:31,120 No it wasn’t. 296 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,400 Well what was it then. 297 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,440 What do we do with the drunken sailor. 298 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:41,440 What do we do with the drunken sailor. 299 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,440 What do we do with the drunken sailor. 300 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:45,760 Early in the morning. 301 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:47,400 Way hay and up she rises. 302 00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,320 Way hay and up she rises. 303 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:51,040 Way hay and up she rises. 304 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,560 Early in the morning. 305 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:02,080 Oh I should definitely not have done that. 306 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,200 get me to the stairs. 307 00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:23,160 How you feeling? 308 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,400 Rooms spinning 309 00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:29,640 Well don’t close your eyes it’ll just make it worse. 310 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,040 Hey. 311 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:36,080 Happy birthday. 312 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:43,320 Oi, you alright? 313 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,240 Yeah. 314 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,640 Let me get you some water. 315 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,480 You said mum was coming? 316 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,760 Well I called her. 317 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,040 Told her we were gonna be there. 318 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,720 But don’t think I told her what time we were gonna be there. 319 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:29,920 Should’ve called her today before we went out. 320 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,480 She doesn't want to see me does she. 321 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,040 What do you mean? 322 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,480 I haven’t seen her in ages. 323 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:48,920 Does she resent me or something for living with you 324 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,240 Anytime we plan to do something. 325 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:55,120 Something happens. 326 00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:58,680 It's just. 327 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,160 Just feels like she’s forgotten me. 328 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,560 What are you talking about. 329 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,280 Oi. 330 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:10,360 Hey. 331 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,640 Your mum loves you. 332 00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:19,680 It's me. 333 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:24,200 She wasn't there tonight because of me. 334 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,880 Your mum has not been in that pub 335 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,920 for a very long time. 336 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:37,960 We used to go there all the time. 337 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,520 We had our first date in there. 338 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:48,200 She's not gonna want to go back in there I shouldn't have asked it was 339 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:51,880 stupid. 340 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,560 Can I ask you something 341 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:01,680 and I want the truth 342 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:05,560 What happened 343 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:07,680 Between you and mum. 344 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,680 Literally feels like one day she just left 345 00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,720 just took off. 346 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:19,960 it's just 347 00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:22,680 it’s been years. 348 00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:26,760 I don't even know how long you never talk about. 349 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:29,320 She moved out. 350 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,560 Didn't take a single thing with her. 351 00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:32,720 All her stuffs still here. 352 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:34,760 That's not normal Dad 353 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:36,840 I can count on one hand the amount of times 354 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,080 She’s been back here. 355 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,520 So I'm just asking 356 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:47,840 what happened. 357 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,560 I don't know what you want me to say. 358 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:07,760 Your mum and I 359 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,480 years ago, just 360 00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:18,000 drifted apart, it happens. 361 00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:21,160 Dad, please. 362 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:22,680 It was years ago. 363 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:23,800 You were young. 364 00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:26,880 You would have remembered it completely different 365 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,280 Look, yes. 366 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:31,800 I loved your, Mum. 367 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,760 I still love your mum. 368 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,840 I always will. 369 00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:44,240 What we went through. 370 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:48,160 Couldn’t get it back. 371 00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:54,040 You just said that it felt like she just decided to leave. 372 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:58,040 No 373 00:31:58,680 --> 00:31:59,640 we have problems 374 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,360 and we tried to fix them for two years. 375 00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:03,480 Two years 376 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,040 We tried. 377 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,800 but we couldn’t 378 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:15,800 just too much. 379 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:16,560 What was too much? 380 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:17,160 It's just. 381 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:20,040 Everything was too much. 382 00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:22,120 The tension, 383 00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:24,760 and strain on the relationship was 384 00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,920 just building up. 385 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:28,600 It wasn't healthy. 386 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:32,240 We had to be honest. 387 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:40,680 So she moved out. 388 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,920 She couldn't stay here. 389 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:48,840 Too many memories. 390 00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:53,200 Why now? 391 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,200 Why you asking about this now? 392 00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:02,320 I don't know dad maybe because I'm drunk from drinking eight pints of what tasted like piss. 393 00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,160 I'm sorry if that sounds ungrateful. 394 00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:06,320 But what 395 00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:11,560 It’s stupid. 396 00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:14,520 No, what is it? 397 00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:18,000 Not once tonight. 398 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,040 Did you ask me if I actually liked what I was drinking? 399 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,240 I know it's silly, but you never ask me what I want. 400 00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,320 Well if you didn’t like it you should have said something. 401 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,600 It’s not just the drink, it’s everything. 402 00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:29,600 It's here. It's work. 403 00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:30,960 I feel like it's the only place I go. 404 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:31,560 I just. 405 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:35,040 I feel trapped. 406 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,520 Not once have you ever asked me what I want in life. 407 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:39,640 Have you? 408 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,400 What do I want to do? 409 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,680 You just assume that I'm going to be with you here. 410 00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,960 And that's it. 411 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,400 What do you mean? 412 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,760 What are you going to do if I'm not hear anymore? 413 00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:00,880 What you want dad? 414 00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:03,640 We can't do this forever. 415 00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:04,920 We’re struggling as it is 416 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,080 You’re gonna have to let me go at some point. 417 00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:08,960 No, where's this come from? 418 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:11,320 Yeah, you're right. 419 00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,640 Everyday is the same. 420 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,440 I get to go fishing with my son. 421 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,920 And it is fucking paradise. 422 00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:19,400 It's everything I want. 423 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:20,720 There you go. Everything you want. 424 00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,000 So what do you want? 425 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:32,960 You need to tell me or I 426 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,520 I can't do anything about it. 427 00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:39,120 You're right. We, we have our up and down days. 428 00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:44,080 But you know what gets me through those down days? You. 429 00:34:45,240 --> 00:34:48,440 The fact is, every day I get to go to sea with my son, 430 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:52,600 and that is everything. 431 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:58,440 But what I'm hearing is that you don’t feel the same. 432 00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,240 What about the poem? 433 00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:03,400 every morning. 434 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:05,080 I read that before I go to work. 435 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:10,880 I know every verse, every line, every word, 436 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:13,200 and that final verse 437 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:16,680 But when I'm older. 438 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:19,040 That's why I want to be 439 00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:20,640 with him 440 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,840 together. 441 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:26,240 Out on the sea. 442 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:30,520 We’re doing it. 443 00:35:31,240 --> 00:35:35,880 Dad, I wrote that when I was eight years old. 444 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:44,640 So what are you saying? 445 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,160 Dad, I love what we do, 446 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,480 I love fishing and I love doing it with you. 447 00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:51,480 But. 448 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,440 I need to go to bed. 449 00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:08,360 Charlie. 450 00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,480 Thought I’d come down and give it a once over. 451 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,840 Don't you dare. 452 00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:14,640 You did go absolutely mental though. 453 00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:17,080 I did. 454 00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:21,200 How’s your head? 455 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,640 Yeah, fine. 456 00:38:24,720 --> 00:38:26,920 There was a time I was going to rename her Daddy's boat. 457 00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:28,960 But your mum wouldn’t 458 00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:35,960 say daddy’s boat didn't really sit well with her 459 00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,320 I am sorry about last night. 460 00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:49,680 No don’t, you made a lot of sense. 461 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:59,800 So going out without me. 462 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:03,000 Just gonna go out and check a couple of pots, nothing much. 463 00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:06,120 Thought you might be feeling rough. 464 00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:10,680 Thought I’d let you sleep it off. 465 00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:12,880 But now you’re here, do you actually want to do some work? 466 00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:14,200 Oh, here we go. 467 00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,360 Slave driving already? 468 00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:20,120 Seriously though, go and unhook the winch. 469 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:13,680 I’ll go set up the winch. 470 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:24,360 John? 471 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:35,480 Mary. 472 00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:36,240 She's looking good. 473 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:41,440 Yeah, she still floats. 474 00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:49,400 I'm sorry I didn't come last night. 475 00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:53,520 Yeah, it was good. 476 00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:58,360 The fellas were all there. 477 00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:04,040 you know, it was good. 478 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:09,800 That's actually why I want you to come down and see you. Wanted to talk. 479 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:13,120 I bumped into Ron earlier, and 480 00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:15,920 he said he hadn't seen you in a while and 481 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,120 you weren't quite yourself. 482 00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:21,600 A bit strange. 483 00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:24,000 Yeah, well, we haven't seen each other in a while. 484 00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:26,120 It was a bit strange 485 00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:27,960 or distant. 486 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:30,560 Withdrawn, he said. 487 00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:35,520 You kept going off and talking to Charlie. 488 00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:37,640 Well, I've noticed it myself for a while now. 489 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,240 But I didn’t think it was... 490 00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:46,760 I never thought 491 00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:51,680 I'd be having this conversation with you again. 492 00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:56,880 You were always the strong one. 493 00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:58,640 What we went through, 494 00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:04,840 you were the one that got me through it. 495 00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:12,560 It's been nearly eight years. 496 00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:18,320 John, I'm so sorry to ask you this but, Charlie. 497 00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,080 What happened to him? 498 00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:28,480 John? 499 00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:31,600 Where's Charlie? 500 00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:46,640 He’s right there, Mary. 501 00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:51,680 He’s by the boat. 502 00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:54,720 No, John. 503 00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:58,480 I can see him, Mary. 504 00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:03,000 He’s right there. 505 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,160 He’s beautiful. 506 00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:05,520 No, John. 507 00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:09,920 Our son Charlie 508 00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,440 died. 509 00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:16,080 Charlie died almost 510 00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:20,080 eight years ago. 511 00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:20,800 Mary, 512 00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:32,720 please. 513 00:43:32,720 --> 00:43:33,800 He's gone. 514 00:43:35,720 --> 00:43:35,960 He's gone. 515 00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,120 He never left for me, Mary. 516 00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:49,920 I never let him. 517 00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:54,320 He’s always been here. 518 00:43:57,800 --> 00:43:58,280 Yeah, 519 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:01,640 how do you do it? 520 00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:04,640 I haven't. 521 00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:09,480 I've learned to live with it. 522 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:15,840 Bu, there will always be a huge hole that can't be filled. 523 00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:17,960 And that's the tough part. 524 00:44:18,720 --> 00:44:21,200 It's realizing that 525 00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:25,600 and understanding it. 526 00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:29,520 I'm so sorry. 527 00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:36,720 Let me help you. 528 00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:39,640 You still trust me? 529 00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:42,760 Of course. 530 00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:43,760 Always. 531 00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:49,280 Next week, 532 00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:51,760 I'm taking you to the same place 533 00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:54,640 that I went to for three years. 534 00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:55,320 It's a meeting 535 00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:58,920 with a group of people that have all been through something similar to us. 536 00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:01,920 But you have to talk like we're doing now, okay? 537 00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:03,680 Mary. 538 00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:05,840 Oh no, promise me John. 539 00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:08,200 Please. 540 00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:11,240 You deserve this closure. 541 00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:15,000 We deserve this closure. 542 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:21,280 And so does Charlie. 543 00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:28,960 I’ll be right there with you. 544 00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:35,680 So next I'd like to welcome a new face. 545 00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:38,120 This is John. 546 00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:39,600 See you don't have to. 547 00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:42,280 John, but if you want to, you could stand up and come and tell us 548 00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:46,680 a little bit about yourself, that’ll be good. 549 00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:55,760 Uhh hi, urm 550 00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:57,720 my name's John. 551 00:46:57,720 --> 00:47:01,200 This is my first time here. 552 00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:04,520 My wife, 553 00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:08,720 Ex-wife sorry, recommended that I come. 554 00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:11,920 Yeah, it was a 555 00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:16,840 It was really tough coming through those doors. 556 00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:19,560 She actually had to push me in the end. 557 00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:26,560 I don't really know what to expect. 558 00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:30,400 I don’t really know what you want me to say? 559 00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:34,240 So what others have found helpful in past is 560 00:47:34,240 --> 00:47:37,160 That I’ve asked them questions to kind of start them off. 561 00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:40,480 And then we can maybe get to understand you and your story a bit better. 562 00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:46,360 Yeah, sure, sure. 563 00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:48,920 So I'll start by saying that 564 00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:51,640 everyone's here because we all experience something that no parent 565 00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:57,480 should experience, a loss of a child. 566 00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:00,360 It's a cliche and I hate saying it, but 567 00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,240 this is a safe space, 568 00:48:03,240 --> 00:48:06,080 a place for you to share, but only what you're comfortable sharing. 569 00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,600 Feel free to stop and sit down at any time. 570 00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:14,200 Okay, thanks. 571 00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:17,320 So what was the name of your child? 572 00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:21,080 Uh. Sorry. 573 00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:23,600 I know it must be strange. 574 00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:28,120 It's fine. 575 00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:30,960 Charlie. 576 00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:32,760 Charlie, 577 00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:36,080 it's a lovely name. 578 00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:39,800 And how long ago did you lose Charlie? 579 00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:45,840 Eight years. 580 00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,480 It’s almost eight years. Eight years. 581 00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:51,480 Next month, December. 582 00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:56,880 And what age were they when they passed away? 583 00:48:56,880 --> 00:49:00,960 Ten, ten years old. 584 00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:07,040 He was eighteen last week. 585 00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:10,240 And John, if you're comfortable, 586 00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:13,600 could you tell us what happened, 587 00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:14,960 how Charlie passed away? 588 00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:16,560 I don't know if I 589 00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:22,200 just have only 590 00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:23,920 Talked about it. 591 00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:26,280 What one person? Mary 592 00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:30,640 And that was five, six years ago. 593 00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,960 John that's completely understandable. 594 00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:36,280 Most people don't manage to discuss and explain 595 00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,600 their experience in the first session. 596 00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:40,600 The main thing 597 00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:43,960 I want you to take from today is that 598 00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:47,200 I know you might feel alone in this. 599 00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:49,440 You feel 600 00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:52,600 distant and separated from the world, 601 00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:54,360 but you're not 602 00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:58,560 you're not alone. 603 00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:00,840 Everyone in this room has their own story, 604 00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:05,040 their own traumatic experience 605 00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:07,920 that they've been through. 606 00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:11,440 And I'm not going to sit here and say that we understand how you feel, 607 00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:14,080 because we don't 608 00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,520 none of us do. 609 00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:21,120 Everyone is different and we all experience 610 00:50:21,120 --> 00:50:25,560 and deal with grief in our own unique way. 611 00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:27,920 No one will ever understand you or how you feel 612 00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:32,920 But you you can help us try and understand, 613 00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:38,360 but only if and when you're ready. 614 00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:55,240 I still love my wife. 615 00:50:55,240 --> 00:50:57,000 I haven't stopped loving her. 616 00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:00,600 I always will. 617 00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:06,360 But it's not the same. 618 00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:09,240 How can it be after that? 619 00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:12,280 even the little things 620 00:51:13,240 --> 00:51:15,360 waking up in the morning, going downstairs, 621 00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:17,080 making a cup of tea 622 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,040 just wasn't the same as our little boy. 623 00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:23,480 Wasn't there any more. 624 00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:28,680 It’s not the fault of either person. 625 00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:32,480 How can two people go through so much 626 00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:36,560 create the most beautiful thing in the world, 627 00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:39,520 Make memories that will last a lifetime and then 628 00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:43,000 Like that 629 00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,040 Gone 630 00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:48,960 But they haven't really gone have they. 631 00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:53,880 That love 632 00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:57,760 that turns into pain. 633 00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:01,080 Those memories that would last a lifetime 634 00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:06,720 Apart of you wishes, they didn't even exist. 635 00:52:06,720 --> 00:52:09,080 Because when you think about them, 636 00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:12,960 It makes you realise what isn't there anymore. 637 00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:16,960 And what isn’t there anymore was the most beautiful thing in the world? 638 00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:21,880 Our son Charlie. 639 00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,720 How can two people go through that 640 00:52:24,720 --> 00:52:28,040 and live normally? 641 00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,960 Our son Charlie 642 00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:36,200 passed away eight years ago at sea. 643 00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:42,960 I'm a fisherman. 644 00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:46,320 We have our boat. 645 00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:48,880 I didn't take him out much 646 00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:51,960 But one weekend I did take him out 647 00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:54,000 was a normal day, I never took him out 648 00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:57,360 when the weather was bad, it wasn't bad. 649 00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:01,280 I just. 650 00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:07,160 It was my fault. 651 00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:10,560 It was my fault. 652 00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:16,880 The worst thing somebody can say to me 653 00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:21,840 is, it wasn't your fault. 654 00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:27,000 It was an accident. 655 00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:31,200 It was my fault. 656 00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:36,560 We were out fishing. 657 00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:40,080 Nothing dangerous. 658 00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:43,200 And he got his line stuck. 659 00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:51,040 Dad, my rods stuck 660 00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:53,760 What? 661 00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:55,640 Dad 662 00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:58,760 Charlie don’t cast off yet. 663 00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:05,280 He didn't respond. 664 00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:08,800 I didn't hear anything. 665 00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:11,160 So I went out on deck 666 00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:18,120 Charlie, Charlie, 667 00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:21,560 Charlie 668 00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:23,640 Charlie 669 00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,360 Charlie 670 00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:34,000 May day, may day, this is the Hutchison 671 00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,200 I need immediate coastguard response 672 00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:38,600 Child over board, I repeat child over board 673 00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:41,160 May day, may day, this is the Hutchison 674 00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:45,360 May day received, this is coastguard what is your location? 675 00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:55,000 49.600 North, 59.23 West. Hurry. 676 00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:59,560 He was gone. 677 00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:05,920 So when people say to me, it wasn't your fault, 678 00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:11,200 I don't know what the fuck they're talking about. 679 00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:17,880 and he was never found. 680 00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:23,560 We couldn't even say goodbye to him properly. 681 00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:27,040 And I have taken that from you. 682 00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:28,200 Mary, I'm sorry. 683 00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:33,200 I am so sorry. 684 00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:40,040 And now all we have to remember him by is a fucking bench. 685 00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:48,040 So I remembered in my own way. 686 00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:56,400 For the past eight years, Charlie has stayed 687 00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:59,120 with me. 688 00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:02,480 He's been by my side throughout 689 00:56:03,720 --> 00:56:07,920 since he was ten. 690 00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:10,840 He's been with me the entire time 691 00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:12,360 I've lived with him. 692 00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:14,760 Talk to him, 693 00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:17,240 played with him, woke him up. 694 00:56:17,240 --> 00:56:20,120 Taught him, 695 00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:25,920 argued with him, it became real, 696 00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:30,200 It was real. 697 00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:35,040 It’s been eight years it's been my way of coping. 698 00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:39,800 And now he's eighteen. 699 00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:43,560 Last week we argued 700 00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:46,840 he was trying to tell me 701 00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:49,600 That I couldn't keep him there forever. 702 00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:54,960 I didn't know what he meant at the time. 703 00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:58,200 Now I do. 704 00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:05,000 I promise to let you go. 705 00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:23,040 It's a poem 706 00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:27,160 Charlie wrote tit when he was eight. 707 00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:30,880 It's about me. 708 00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:37,560 It’s called ‘My Dad’, he wrote it for school. 709 00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:42,000 I have it up on my wall next to the front door. 710 00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:46,680 I read it every morning before I go to work. 711 00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:52,640 You know what 712 00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:57,240 I think he’d really appreciate it if I read it to you all right now. 713 00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:03,560 Is that all right? 714 00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:09,440 Of course. 715 00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:16,360 My Dad by Charlie Winter. 716 00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:19,680 I have to say it like that. 717 00:58:19,680 --> 00:58:22,320 Whenever Charlie read it, he always said the full title 718 00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:24,520 and his name 719 00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:30,600 My Dad 720 00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:35,160 by Charlie Winter. 721 00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:38,000 My dad's a fisherman. 722 00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:39,800 He goes out to sea 723 00:58:39,800 --> 00:58:43,960 and then comes back again. 724 00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:46,560 His boat is big, old and red, 725 00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:49,080 but on my birthday 726 00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:51,360 we're painting it any colour I want. 727 00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:54,120 That's what he said 728 00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:57,400 when he takes me out. 729 00:58:58,040 --> 00:59:01,320 We have so much fun. 730 00:59:01,320 --> 00:59:03,960 But he only takes me out when it's not stormy 731 00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:08,600 and there is sun 732 00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:11,160 When he is fishing, he sings but 733 00:59:11,160 --> 00:59:13,680 doesn't know. 734 00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:16,440 It's a slow and sad song. 735 00:59:16,440 --> 00:59:20,600 Full of woe. 736 00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:22,760 He talks about the sea 737 00:59:23,040 --> 00:59:24,720 and calls it her, 738 00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:27,000 but mum says that's fine 739 00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:32,120 so it doesn't cause a stir. 740 00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:33,840 So that's my dad. 741 00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:36,200 And his name is John. 742 00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:38,920 He gets up early 743 00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:44,320 and not home, till the sun has gone 744 00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:49,800 But when I'm older. 745 00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:58,640 But when I'm older, that's what I want to be. 746 00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:01,440 With him. 747 01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:03,920 Together. 748 01:00:03,920 --> 01:00:08,640 Out on the sea. 749 01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:18,000 What colour did he choose? 750 01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:20,560 sorry in the 751 01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:22,720 in the poem Charlie said he was going to paint the boat 752 01:00:22,720 --> 01:00:24,400 any colour he wanted. 753 01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:29,440 What colour did he choose? 754 01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:15,760 Blue. 755 01:04:15,760 --> 01:04:19,360 He chose Blue.