Dear Lord, I know you can hear me.
It's Jade Mary Megan James, the one from Carshalton.
Give us the strength
not to become them stereotypical weak bitches
who live in refuges,
like the pathetic ones you see on telly
crying, with limp, lifeless hair.
DRILLING NEARBY
Now you ask the Lord for salvation.
Go on, ask him for something deep in your heart.
COSTELLO: Oh...um...
Fucking ask him! He ain't got all day!
COSTELLO SIGHS
Um...
Dear Lord, please give me and Iris
a council flat in London.
Why are you obsessed with London? It's shit.
That's where we're from.
You came here from a great big country house. Hypocrite much?
Too right if a mansion's on offer,
but if I'm being thrown to some slum,
it'd better be in the centre of the universe, which is London.
Yeah. Deliver, Jesus, and hear my prayer for Costello,
whose daughter hates her.
No, she doesn't. There's vibes.
No, she hates her new school,
this place and that fucking noise! Yes.
Heavenly father, silence the greedy folk next door.
Cast them into the furnace,
burn them alive in their pashminas.
Lead them to damnation. Thanks, God. Bye.
You ask a lot of him.
I thought Jesus liked women who help themselves.
Oh, yeah. Jesus loves a hustler.
What are you doing for money?
Wanna earn some cash?
Doing what?
Webcamming and shit.
Hmm, don't really want to fuck Serena off.
Bitch. It's your funeral.
LINE RINGS
VOICEMAIL: All right, it's Costello Jones.
I don't owe you any fucking money, but, go on,
leave a message. BEEP
Day 12 in Bedlam for me,
and you'll be pleased to hear I've bounced back somewhat,
and I'm willing to concede there's a 10% chance
I'm the full nutty.
So, rest assured, I'm giving my time here
the full college try.
I think you might even enjoy my little updates,
like postcards from a demented island.
And I'm even making friends here.
Met an interesting... thing called Frida.
She helps pass the time.
Do you think you could come and visit?
I feel like you owe me that, at least.
Give Iris a kiss from me.
In all the food banks in all the world...
..if it isn't Costello Jones.
RICHARD: Hey.
Heard you moved to the country with Selby.
Yeah, I'm back now, so... Probably for the best.
He's a total knob, isn't he?
He's my best friend, and you know nothing about him.
Come on, let's get you some food.
A bit presumptuous, aren't we? I'm here to volunteer.
I can do weekday mornings or...
RICHARD LAUGHS
Oh.
Hmm. OK, er... Great.
HE LAUGHS AGAIN
Well, in that case, follow me,
and I'll show you how food banking's done.
OK. FRENCH ACCENT: Donations!
Mm-hm. This is the packing station.
Fresh goods here. Eggs, free range.
Hello, mate.
TV: And this is absolutely stunning...
SELBY SHUFFLES CARDS
..and we're happy to give away 20.
I mean, what's the one thing that you've got loads of
but you can always use more of? That's right - black shirts.
I must have 40 at home.
I really must...
I know what's wrong with you.
I know what's wrong with everyone in here.
I'd be a psychiatrist if they let me out.
Well, given you were elbow deep in your vagina earlier,
I think you'd make a wonderful psychiatrist.
See him? Schizoid personality disorder. I can tell.
And check out the nurse.
Avoidant personality disorder.
Narcissistic personality disorder.
I 100% know that, cos me grandad was the same.
And what is wrong with you?
Borderline personality disorder.
And I've been anorexic since I was eight,
ADHD since I was 11,
and complex PTSD since, like, for ever.
Gosh, you're quite the collector.
I've been watching you since you got here.
I've got you sussed.
Are you ready for my diagnosis?
If you must.
Antisocial personality disorder.
All of your relationships have been violent.
And you've got big daddy issues.
SLAMS CARDS DOWN Am I right?
Well, you can be the judge of that when I tell you
that I want to grab your stupid little head
and ram it into that cunting television.
That's it. There's only 21...
I've been holding out for a miscarriage,
but it's still up there.
You've never been very lucky, have you?
Did you ever think about getting rid of Iris?
Never. As soon as I found out,
I knew I was going to take my baby and run.
I ain't as strong as you. I can't do this on my own.
I'm not strong. I ain't doing it with Paul.
No. No choice but to abort.
Well, it sounds like you need to get rid of him, not the kid.
I tried to break up with him, like, three times.
COSTELLO: Pity you can't abort 50-year-old men.
I could call him and tell him that you've... died.
BOTH LAUGH
Selby called me for the first time today
and wants me to visit.
Don't you fucking dare!
I was so relieved. I thought he hated me. I miss him, G.
I think you'll find that's nostalgia talking.
Look, what you need is a distraction.
Will you have this abortion with me?
I've been waiting years for you to ask that.
If I do it.
I mean, I'm probably gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
Maybe.
COSTELLO: Bubba, please. What can I do to stop you hating me?
Nothing. You and Selby messed up.
Why should I have to live this crappy life?
Costello! I ned a word.
Iris, go upstairs and do your homework.
Or just put me up for adoption, why don't you?
Iris!
MOCKING: Iris, Iris!
It's a joy to see you at communal prayer each morning.
Yeah, well, it is mandatory, Serena.
But I've been a good girl. No contact with Selby.
God rewards the good.
No men, no work. Started volunteering at the food bank.
All of this is good, good, good.
Now, I need to talk to you about an organisation
we work with who house wayward mothers.
I know it's quick, and you've barely settled in,
but we have found you and Iris your forever home.
Here?
In London?
Er, let's see. Two bedrooms.
Balcony. By the sea. Thanet!
Oh, the Lord giveth.
Am I fuck moving to Thanet!
And the Lord taketh away.
I've been a good person for 12 days now,
and I'm not a good person, Serena.
I've been pretending, and I am exhausted,
and now I'm being shat on.
The Lord moves in mysterious ways.
Serena, the Lord is a knob.
And if the Lord thinks that I'm leaving London,
he can go fuck himself.
"Your murderers come with smiles,
"they come as your friends."
That's... That's not even the Bible.
That is GoodFellas.
You're getting your gospels all mixed up. This is just...
What, so you're chucking me out now?
No. Why would I do that?
The Government give me 600 quid a week to keep you here.
Oh... Capitalism!
The real religion of the 21st century!
Hallelujah!
Huh.
This is going to be my last shift today.
I need a job that pays. I need to get a private flat.
What about the refuge?
Oh, I've got six months there, but the clock is ticking
before they kick me to the council, who will fuck me.
Well, is there anything I can do?
How much money have you got on you right now?
Er...
Fiver.
Now eat me out.
Is this a...?
Oh, I'm not a...
Listen, I support sex workers, but I don't pay for it.
Can I stop you right there
before you say something stupid?
The pussy is for free.
I just need £5.
Is it ethical to lick out a woman who lives in a refuge?
Er, I don't think this pussy is that worried about ethics.
I just need a distraction.
And if you don't want it, then you can fuck off.
This is gonna be
the best offer you're gonna get
in any food bank today.
RICHARD MOANS
I just can't imagine ever loving you.
Mate, that hurts.
Is that reason to call it a day?
Yes, I think it is.
I've never broken up with someone before.
Normally, when I'm horrible to them, they just leave.
I don't believe you could ever be horrible, G.
Er... I literally just need some space
and for you not to be in it, ever.
Good luck.
You're a lovely man,
but not for me. Yeah.
Thanks.
Listen, do you fancy grabbing a drink sometime?
Think that would be a bit weird, don't you?
Yeah, no. Yeah, of course.
I'll see you soon, Gloria.
No, you probably won't.
But take care.
DOOR CLOSES
SHE EXHALES
OK.
PHONE LINE RINGS
Hello?
I think I'd really love to book in for a termination.
Right, no make-up. You're not allowed to look good.
Stick on the trackie.
What are you doing? Get off.
Making it look like you actually live in a refuge.
Yeah? Can't be all fancy. It ain't Babestation.
Authenticity's what they want.
Yeah, well, it's not authentic to me.
Hiya.
We are two horny babes,
trapped in a battered women's refuge
with no men to satisfy us.
D'you want to help us out?
You run away from horrible men, did you?
Yeah.
Please help us.
We're 100% battered British bitches.
She's new here. Fresh from being abused.
Tell him.
Yeah, it's true.
I've been abused all my life.
By men... and women.
You got any bruises?
Oh, you have no idea.
But if you could just click the donate button,
I'll tell you the whole... sordid story.
Hi, girls.
Hi. Hi.
Those? Do you like?
Love those.
Tell me where he hit you.
Oh, you've got a face I wanna punch.
Oh, that makes me wanna cry.
GROANING: I wouldn't have let you out of my sight.
That's beautiful. That's so nice. And a bit scary.
List all of your injuries for me.
Well, I had my ribs broken.
Yeah, I broke my jaw.
You deserved it...
..didn't you?
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry too.
I'd hit you with my big dick.
Mmm.
I can't wait. Good.
QUIET CHATTER
COIN RATTLES
HE STABS PHONE BUTTONS
Day 29 in the funny farm.
I miss you.
Why won't you visit me?
She's already forgot you, mate.
COIN RATTLES
They always do.
PHONE LINE PIPS
I suppose you think this is some sort of...
.."meet cute", don't you?
Two nut-nuts in an asylum falling in love?
Well, it just isn't that movie, darling.
And when I say "fuck off"...
..I don't mean "follow me and love me",
I mean "fuck off".
Fuck off!
OK?
Just through here, please. Thank you.
So are you sure you want to go through with this?
Because you've had a lot to drink.
Dutch courage.
Oh.
And why have you tarted yourself up?
I can dress up for my abortion if I like.
Mm.
I've split up with Paul and I'm happy about that.
Mm. But wait...
..I think I want...
WHISPERS: ..the baby.
All right. Come on, then. Let's go.
No, no, no.
You know what I'm like - I'll fuck it up.
I'll just fuck it up. Best to get it over and done with.
RECEPTIONIST: Gloria Duke?
Sorry, I have to ask -
have you consumed alcohol in the last 24 hours?
A couple over lunch.
I'm afraid you can't legally consent to the procedure
under the influence of alcohol.
No. I've made up my mind now. I want an abortion.
Give it to me. Come on.
No! Give me my abortion!
What's happened to this country?
What, a woman can't have an abortion
after a couple of wines? Come on, let's go.
Look... Hey, look at me! Look at me!
Do I look the kind of woman that should be having a kid?
Huh?
Look, let's just get you to bed
and we'll talk about it in the morning.
Don't make me go Vera Drake! Don't make me go backstreet!
Come on.
Sorry.
You're arrogant, you're up yourself,
you're rude, aggressive.
DRILLING OUTSIDE
You just don't seem very vulnerable.
Abused women are usually a lot more...
..humble.
SHE SCOFFS
So, what, you think I'm lying?
DULL BANG OMINOUS CREAKING
CRASHING
SCREAMING
Iris? Iris?
ALARM BELL RINGS
Iris?!
CHILDREN SHOUT AND PANIC
Oh, Lord!
Iris! JADE: Candi?
IRIS: Mummy! JADE: Candi, where are you?
Oh, thank God.
Mum... We're OK, we're OK.
Right, you're gonna grab your money. Let's go.
This is cos of them greedy bastards next door.
All right, bubba. Iris, can you help me?
ALARM AND SHOUTING CONTINUE
Right.
Everything's fine.
OK, good girls.
OK.
Right, let's go.
Iris, you just stay with Mummy, OK?
Stop your crying, yeah? And get out - now.
Keep moving! Keep going!
CHILDREN SOB
Come on. Come on.
SIRENS APPROACH
Oh, gosh. Everyone out?
You OK?
We're out.
Are you all right?
You said - and I quote -
"I want to grab your stupid little head
"and ram it into that cunting television."
I'm a work in progress.
No, I've quit.
Ah, go on, then.
You doing OK?
I miss Iris...
..more than anything...
..and I just can't wait to get back to them both
and make it all better.
How would you make it all better?
What would you say to them?
What would I say?
That I have all the right feelings in my heart...
..but I just don't know how to love like everyone else,
because...
..no-one ever fucking taught me how to do it right.
But then I sound like an absolute twat.
You're attempting to change.
Most don't have the guts to try that.
Well, I'm a big, brave boy, Doctor.
We're all right, darling. We're out of there.
Oi, Pashmina!
Why are you crying?
This is your fault.
Your house is fine, ours is fucked.
I mean, you barely even live here -
you live in Oxfordshire.
You take more and more
without thinking about people who get less and less.
We lived here, and it was just a shitty little room,
and it wasn't for ever, but it was ours!
You are lucky that someone didn't die.
My daughter could have died!
You posh cunts!
Tell 'em! That's right!
SHE SOBS
Thank you.
I'll sort this.
Yeah, I promise.
I'm sorry, bubba.
Selby, you've got a visitor.
Who?
Some woman.
She's got a little girl with her. She's so cute.
Visitors?
Not today.
SHE LAUGHS MANIACALLY
That was a horrible thing to do.
We're not coming.
The Lord pours scorn on the ungrateful.
There's refuge for you in Skegness, now get in!
No. We live here.
Yeah, we live here, too! Here, ladies - get off.
Costello's staging a protest about social cleansing.
No, I-I'm not. I'm...
We're just not leaving.
But you should go and get a little flat,
you know, by the sea and get your mum and your sister
to come and stay at weekends -
you won't be on your own.
Bet there's a God in Skegness as well.
BOTH CHUCKLE
Right. Come on, get on.
DOOR SLIDES CLOSED
SHE BANGS ON DOOR
IRIS: Should have got on.
COSTELLO: Mm... no. This is our home.
IRIS: Sure doesn't feel like it.
COSTELLO: Just a couple of city rats, eh?
You all right?
Ain't I always?
So to abort or not to abort? That is the question.
Not to abort.
Oh! The Loneliness Of The Unwed Single Mother -
name of your memoir. Ha!
Ha!
You can stay at mine until you get a place sorted with the council.
Thank you. Thanks. You're welcome.
Come on, babes.
Could you, um... take Iris out for dinner?
Sure. The practice can come in handy.
I just need to...
..clear my head, I think.
Oh, babe, no, I get it. I get it.
PHONE LINE RINGS
SELBY ON VOICEMAIL: Day 30 in the loony bin.
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
prevent the dog from barking with juicy bone.
HE LAUGHS
Saccharine wank.
Don't worry. I haven't gone the full mental.
It's still a terrible poem
and Four Weddings is still a fucking awful film.
SHE LAUGHS
What was it you said, Costello?
"The world is a vile place,
"and neither Richard Curtis or WH Auden
"will ever change that."
BOTH LAUGH
I hope to see you soon.
And I hope you and Iris are OK.
I let you down, and I'm sorry.
And right now, I can't reach you,
and it's fucking terrifying.