1
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{\an8}任職記者 15 年後,我學會了

2
00:00:03,628 --> 00:00:05,755
用醒目標題吸引讀者注意很重要

3
00:00:05,755 --> 00:00:09,926
我的標題是
「37 歲本地女子毀掉自己一生」

4
00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:13,138
五年前,妮爾莎蘭勞為了愛情

5
00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:14,889
放棄成功事業,移居到倫敦

6
00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:16,307
我仍在睡

7
00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:20,145
她那時有情飲水飽,直到分手

8
00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:23,273
她現在回到家鄉,希望重新來過

9
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,734
但誰需要成功事業...

10
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:26,818
(南加州獨立報)

11
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:28,778
或是童話式婚禮

12
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或是乾淨的內衣褲?
你大可穿著比堅尼泳褲代替

13
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再穿一次

14
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:39,789
好消息是,我在租屋網找到的
奇怪室友是個文靜的人

15
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:41,916
只會不停留言吩咐我

16
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(去放狗!)

17
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他也要我替他放狗
但他卻不願在人前大便

18
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我說是他的狗,不是我室友,那很核突

19
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(南加州獨立報)

20
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:52,427
這些事令我回舊公司
工作的第一天也遲到了

21
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至少我找到最後一個泊車位
所以看來頗順利

22
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對不起

23
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天啊,我真的要收拾一下車尾箱了

24
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隨著時間發展,便越多阻濟

25
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(未幸福、未準備好)
(未結婚、未自由)

26
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{\an8}(未滿足、未成功)
(未有錢、未做好)

27
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{\an8}(未長大)

28
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《人生未玩完》

29
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{\an8}你遲到了

30
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{\an8}但我和其他人說
你手機時間仍設定在英國時區

31
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{\an8}你也有捐血,好嗎?扮頭暈暈吧

32
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{\an8}不如我扮宿醉吧?我可能真的宿醉呢?

33
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{\an8}-第一天開工,我帶了個盆栽給你
-嘿!

34
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{\an8}我只不過回舊公司

35
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{\an8}-對,還有些筆賀你生日
-因為我又老了一歲

36
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{\an8}-運動版
-接住

37
00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:48,399
{\an8}不,因為我愛你

38
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{\an8}別偷東西,靚女

39
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-你不是我上司
-沒錯

40
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-但我是你上司,很奇怪嗎?
-奇怪的是你們兩個

41
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竟然都沒升職當上司

42
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理論上她是生活版的主管

43
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-所以並不算
-對不起!

44
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我是都會先生,我要編輯一連六篇

45
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,960
有關分區規程的文章

46
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{\an8}不好意思,你不是要開會討論...

47
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{\an8}有關涼鞋的文章嗎?

48
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聽住,衰公...

49
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我的確要開涼鞋會議,快遲到了

50
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-之後喝咖啡?
-好

51
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{\an8}你要我報導甚麼?都市新聞?罪案新聞?

52
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,227
死人新聞

53
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天啊,你要我負責訃文?

54
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這是你的新辦公室

55
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,319
{\an8}對,坦白說,這就是個儲物室

56
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{\an8}真是大方

57
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{\an8}你總要由低做起,妮爾

58
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開始吧,你的首篇訃文

59
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莫提華斯堡

60
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{\an8}他是個音樂人,你或者知道他的首本名曲

61
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{\an8}-「好好味吹波糖」廣告歌
-我小時候很討厭那首歌

62
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{\an8}別因歌曲而對人有所偏見,妮爾

63
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人人都有其故事,發掘故事就是你的工作

64
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別碰那根水管,會燙傷你的

65
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我請,等我一下

66
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,685
-好,給我吧
-好

67
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,188
這是我喜歡你的原因
你仍知道如何派對狂歡

68
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不對,你的喇叭壞了

69
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因為它是泵奶機

70
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你記得我以前會坦胸露膊嗎?

71
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,575
現在卻只用來餵哺孩子,我怎麼了?

72
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:23,036
你變成一位超棒的在職媽媽

73
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,247
你誕下了我最喜歡的兩個細路

74
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對,我該警告你

75
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:30,501
提莉仍喜歡每天穿花女裙上學

76
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希望沒刺激到你

77
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很識擺高姿態,提莉

78
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當你準備好談及菲臘

79
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:38,259
我在日記本寫了很多罵人的話

80
00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:41,471
-很想和你分享
-我不想那樣做

81
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:44,974
你知道我想如何慶祝生日嗎?
我只想像以前一樣開派對

82
00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:47,393
然後假扮自己不必花三天時間恢復

83
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,312
-好嗎?
-好吧

84
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,564
天啊,遮住我

85
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:55,693
-不,遮住我...
-甚麼?為甚麼?哪裡?誰?

86
00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:56,986
是「蘇巴閉」

87
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:01,574
妮爾,你不能再這樣叫她了,好嗎?

88
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,451
麗絲是你的上司

89
00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:07,497
雖然聽起來很離譜,但我們已變成...

90
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,165
-我會摑你一巴
-工作上的朋友

91
00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:10,792
甚麼?我們明明好憎她

92
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,126
我知道,對不起

93
00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:14,879
她之所以在這裡工作
是因為她爸爸是報社老闆

94
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和掌管半個帕莎甸娜的大亨

95
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,632
我知道,她頗有錢又奇怪

96
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:20,551
她更以為 Old Navy 服裝店是軍隊分隊

97
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:23,972
但當你變成在職媽媽
你很少會遇到別的在職媽媽

98
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:27,016
甚麼?不,那《都市日報》的天娜呢?

99
00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:29,727
她經常提起她的孩子,真的很溫馨

100
00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:32,021
那些是公仔

101
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,649
人人都很擔心天娜

102
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-嗨,天娜
-嗨

103
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(畢摩爾公寓)

104
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,198
這是甚麼?

105
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:44,993
不必這麼客氣的

106
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,332
希望內餡不是車厘子

107
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是焦糖

108
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,253
(史丹福大學)

109
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,338
你讀史丹福大學?

110
00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,967
對,你為何在吃
我打算送給我女友的朱古力?

111
00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:03,177
因為我今天生日

112
00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:04,971
-我以為是你送給我的
-不

113
00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:09,475
慘,我要去聖地牙哥

114
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,436
卻沒朱古力可以帶給我女友

115
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,271
記得替我帶亞瑟出去

116
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:16,441
並用可分解拾便袋
而不是叫他忍住別痾

117
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,318
若你將暖氣調高至攝氏 20 度

118
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,236
-家巢系統會提醒我
-收到,隊長

119
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,911
-你生日有計劃嗎?
-有

120
00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:31,706
我會搞個瘋狂派對

121
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:33,833
更打算買幾桶啤酒和請雷鬼樂隊

122
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,918
並會在你那輛健身單車旁舉行

123
00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:37,837
不,你不能在這裡開派對,我們簽了合約

124
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:41,090
你的租約列明
你要事先通知才可邀請賓客...

125
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,343
-你在講笑吧?
-顯然是

126
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,511
老友,你有亞氏保加症嗎?

127
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:46,679
我有

128
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:50,308
你有?天啊,對不起我錯了

129
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,602
我沒有,你以為我有亞氏保加症?

130
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,605
-算是吧
-我的確有

131
00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,484
好吧,週末愉快

132
00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,197
{\an8}(雞尾酒,營業中)

133
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,990
(開開心心卡拉 OK)

134
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,075
謝謝

135
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,788
嘩,14 美元一杯雞尾酒

136
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:15,333
我們以前會在浴缸製作迷幻藥

137
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:16,751
並免費派給別人

138
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:19,921
天啊,我真想念 90 年代

139
00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:24,133
你為何一直在看電話?

140
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:31,015
老實說,我其實在想我的前未婚夫

141
00:06:31,015 --> 00:06:33,684
會否祝我生日快樂
但暫時仍未有消息,所以...

142
00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:35,520
你知道忘掉一個人的最好方法是甚麼嗎?

143
00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:37,814
就是搞上別人

144
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,858
真好,謝謝你的建議

145
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,778
-嘿!
-她在這裡

146
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,279
-壽星女!
-嗨

147
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:48,074
-真好
-嗨

148
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,785
我知道你叫我別送禮物
但我們經過油站

149
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,286
便買了份禮物送給你

150
00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:53,913
你們真好

151
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,499
安全套和刮刮卡?

152
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,669
-因為你今年一定會很好運!
-對!

153
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:03,548
無論今天誰會來
我們今晚都會玩得很開心...

154
00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:05,383
誰會來?

155
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:08,177
嗨,女朋友,對不起我來遲了

156
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:12,765
我不請自來你的生日派對,希望你別介意

157
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:15,476
完全不會,我們是同事

158
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:17,228
不算是「同事」

159
00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:19,439
講笑而已!

160
00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:22,733
雖然理論上的確不是

161
00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:24,110
-我是你的老闆
-對

162
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,696
但我想讓你知道

163
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:29,407
我不會是我爸爸那種老闆

164
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:32,285
他太冷漠離地

165
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,245
我在奧運盛裝舞步比賽時
墮馬弄傷背部

166
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,872
之後我便學會了

167
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:39,917
馬匹強壯,你的表現才會好

168
00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:45,131
而你們就是我的馬匹

169
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:48,676
-喂,麗絲
-我又很傲慢奇怪嗎?

170
00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:51,554
-對,因為你將我們當成你的馬
-看?所以我才需要你們

171
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,140
天啊,我想起一件事

172
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:57,351
隔離時的某個週末
我們一家住在隔離小屋...

173
00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,479
你們住在隔離小屋?

174
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,773
-對
-沒錯,的確很有趣

175
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,860
我知道很多人說他們很討厭疫情

176
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,445
但我很喜歡

177
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:10,948
總之有一晚,我和阿姍在喝蘇維濃白酒

178
00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:16,245
她很老實告訴我,我有時很討人厭

179
00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:17,330
然後...

180
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:21,501
我很慶幸我有你這樣的朋友

181
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,585
我撐你

182
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,345
你不介意她在,對吧?

183
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:35,014
-毫不介意
-對

184
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:38,100
我只是不知道原來你們是真朋友

185
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,560
-我明白
-但我不介意

186
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,312
你欠我一次約會,好嗎?

187
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:42,855
-沒問題
-好

188
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:45,358
我買了兩張週六晚的「地下夜店」門票

189
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,943
是 80 年代舞會主題

190
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:50,071
我打算穿我的婚紗去,你則穿伴娘裙

191
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,198
-至少有機會穿一下婚紗
-我也很想去

192
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:57,370
但週六晚我有節目

193
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,498
-你約了麗絲
-對,沒錯...

194
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,379
我們差點便能唱得完美

195
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,135
齊來為丹尼斯和蘇巴閉鼓掌!

196
00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:15,721
-蘇巴閉?
-對,這是我們替你改的花名

197
00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:18,266
是老朋友之間的小笑話

198
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,685
-夠了,妮爾
-為甚麼?

199
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:23,062
蘇巴閉,因為你經常懶巴閉,明嗎?

200
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:24,647
我們也以為你是蘇格蘭人

201
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,816
你有一次大叫
聽起來就像《驚世未了緣》一樣

202
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,234
我心想:「她是蘇格蘭人」

203
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:31,445
別這樣,你也覺得很好笑,對吧?

204
00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:34,073
又不是只有我覺得好笑!

205
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:36,242
沒錯,我該去拿手袋了

206
00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:39,370
好!再喝一輪

207
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,039
(畢摩爾公寓)

208
00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:43,457
(閃電牌梳打汽酒)

209
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:57,680
{\an8}「若你見到此紙條
雪櫃門一定開了很久」

210
00:09:58,347 --> 00:09:59,515
天啊

211
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:02,476
我怎會淪落於此?

212
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:03,644
沒錯

213
00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:07,523
你不會知道人生中會遇到何事

214
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,984
別靠近,我會殺了你

215
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:12,445
不必,我已經死了

216
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,408
你是來殺我的嗎?

217
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,410
別殺我...

218
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,370
不,我不是來殺你的

219
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:23,664
我是莫提華斯堡

220
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:27,335
<i>好好味吹波糖 多汁又好玩</i>

221
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:32,632
(莫提華斯堡創作了耳熟能詳的歌曲)

222
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:36,969
不...我沒見到死人,不會的...

223
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,929
一定是辣醬芝士薯條、蛋糕

224
00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:40,765
五杯雞尾酒和半條橡皮糖作怪

225
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,308
冷靜點,醉貓

226
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:45,019
你不能批評我,因為你是假的

227
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:48,272
我會...回去我間房,鎖門

228
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:50,650
並塞一大堆重紙箱於門前

229
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:54,487
不是因為我覺得你是真的
而是因為我需要運動

230
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:58,032
我明天早上醒來後
你便不會存在,晚安!

231
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:10,336
早晨

232
00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:16,509
退後!你是怎樣穿過這些紙箱的?

233
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,844
我不知道,我之前又沒死過

234
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:24,266
我死後也不必小便,所以多出很多時間

235
00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:26,394
-有人來了
-進來

236
00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:30,523
你沒事吧?我剛回家,聽到你在大叫

237
00:11:32,274 --> 00:11:33,275
你沒...

238
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,029
-我沒事
-很好

239
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:40,324
你能清潔一下客廳嗎?
因為客廳滿是安全套

240
00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:42,827
對,不然我拿這東西有何用?

241
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:44,412
好

242
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:46,831
小趣聞

243
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,332
你是唯一見到我的人

244
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:50,918
-不!
-對

245
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:52,002
不...

246
00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:54,964
我...究竟是怎樣回事?

247
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,966
不可能的,天啊

248
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,718
我知道我最近很不開心

249
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,720
甚至有些抑鬱,好嗎?

250
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:04,557
我沒照顧好自己,或者我只需多做些運動

251
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,226
好,不如我們去踩單車吧?

252
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:08,769
不必了,我要自己透透氣

253
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,524
Siri,替我傳短訊給阿姍

254
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:16,026
對不起我昨晚喝多了

255
00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,695
我們之後能去喝杯咖啡嗎?

256
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,531
你不會想吃這裡的東西的

257
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:23,117
兩隻字:蟑螂

258
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,535
不!

259
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,248
開車...

260
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:30,875
妮爾!下車

261
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,001
是他殺死我的

262
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:35,504
-甚麼?
-講笑而已,是前列腺癌

263
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:40,760
別再跟著我!

264
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:44,346
夠了!我要做甚麼你才肯離開?

265
00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:47,391
我不知道我為何在此

266
00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:50,895
沒有規則、沒有指示,混亂至極

267
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:51,979
好,我看過不少電影

268
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:54,815
一定有些魔法咒語能令你不再執著現世

269
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:58,068
例如是「我赦免你人生的罪」

270
00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:00,029
「去光明世界吧,嘉露安!」

271
00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:02,698
我人生的罪?

272
00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:04,283
對,你一生做過不少錯事

273
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:07,661
我在撰寫你的文章,你死了,離過兩次婚

274
00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:10,581
一個想紅的音樂人
寫了一首令我討厭吹波糖的歌

275
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,124
是嗎?那你呢?

276
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:15,169
我已在你身邊 24 小時,你也好不了多少

277
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,587
你喝酒過多

278
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:18,547
你妒忌別人過得幸福

279
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:22,009
但凡遇到挫折,你就會逃避

280
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:25,638
我不想和你吵架

281
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,515
我不要讓一個死人來分析我心理

282
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,517
看吧?你又逃避了

283
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,979
我才沒...不...

284
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,066
多得你,我錯過了阿姍的電話

285
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:39,985
喂,我收到你的短訊了

286
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:41,862
昨晚有點失控了

287
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:44,323
我知道我們以前不喜歡麗絲

288
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:47,284
但你不在時,我們變成很好的朋友

289
00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:51,580
她也是你的老闆,若我是你
我會考慮和她道歉

290
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:54,291
總之,我們之後再談吧

291
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:56,252
你現在會怎樣做?

292
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:03,676
甚麼?

293
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:08,806
你的辦公室真漂亮,麗絲

294
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:13,769
對,牠就是那隻踢我的馬,杜德

295
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:16,564
-我留著照片,是提醒我有多失敗
-嘩

296
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:17,898
有何貴幹?

297
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:21,652
我是來送你一些道歉冬甩的

298
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:24,738
昨晚我很糟糕,我想和你道歉

299
00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:27,074
我保證我以後會更加專業

300
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:31,078
-你是在休息室偷來的嗎?
-不是,怎麼了?

301
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:34,790
有些冬甩有牙印,紙盒上也寫著休息室

302
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,292
好吧,是我偷來的

303
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:38,335
好吧,對不起,再見

304
00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:41,297
真是敷衍的道歉

305
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:46,594
你顯然有話想和我說,像個記者那樣吧

306
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,803
告訴我完整故事

307
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,263
我不覺得這是好主意

308
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:51,432
我有個主意

309
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:52,850
數 30 秒

310
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:55,603
告訴對方,我們對彼此的看法

311
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,521
不秋後算賬,好嗎?

312
00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:58,606
我先說

313
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:01,233
我覺得你是個酒鬼

314
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:03,694
嘩,你真直接

315
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:07,072
我覺得你和你的馬的關係很不合適

316
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:09,366
我覺得你的衣服
看來像是從平價連鎖店買來的

317
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:12,578
-冬甩是我咬的
-你仍在報社上班

318
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:15,205
你也在報社上班

319
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:16,957
我知道你不想我去你的生日派對

320
00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:18,125
但我仍是不請自來了

321
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,628
我不覺得你夠資格當阿姍的好朋友

322
00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:26,759
丹尼斯要我請你回來時,我拒絕了

323
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,969
你為了男人放棄了大好事業

324
00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:31,263
當你們分手後,我則要讓你回來?

325
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:34,475
阿姍告訴我,你生活不順,需要重新開始

326
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:35,935
我才改變主意

327
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,645
我是為了她才請你回來的

328
00:15:38,228 --> 00:15:40,064
但我亦是你的老闆,若你表現不好

329
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,148
我一定會炒你

330
00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:42,858
無論你是誰的朋友也沒用

331
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:46,403
好吧,我知道了

332
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,449
我也不覺得這個遊戲很好玩

333
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:52,242
和家人玩會好玩一點

334
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:00,960
-你在嗎?
-我在

335
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:05,422
我不斷閉眼
希望我張開眼後會身處在馬德里

336
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:09,259
為何愁眉苦臉?

337
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:14,932
因為某些愚蠢原因,我以為我回到家鄉

338
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,976
便能輕易重拾過去,好好生活

339
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:20,145
但一切都不同了

340
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:22,898
我覺得我和所有人都疏遠了很多

341
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,777
我們該怎樣做?

342
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:30,447
坐在這裡自怨自艾,直到永遠?

343
00:16:30,447 --> 00:16:32,074
這裡是地獄嗎?

344
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:34,702
-若你在我身邊,大概是吧
-天啊

345
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:37,246
我受不了你再自怨自艾下去

346
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,915
要不我用枕頭弄死你,要不我們要出去

347
00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:41,375
弄死我吧

348
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:54,013
這樣太蠢了

349
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,975
我們為何來這裡?我們要分享麵包吃嗎?

350
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:01,145
你不需用這個

351
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:05,733
我覺得人人都在看著我
想知道我有何問題

352
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:08,527
我為何獨自一人來到這間如此漂亮的餐廳

353
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:09,862
告訴你一件事吧

354
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,698
我曾是鋼琴天才

355
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:16,160
我在「愛之夏」那年搬到加州

356
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,495
我本來會創作出神曲

357
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:21,373
最後卻作了「好好味」...

358
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,500
-別唱了
-我知道,很難為情

359
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:26,628
因為我渴求更多

360
00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:29,423
所以怨憤起來

361
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:34,762
我遠離身邊所有人,最後我開始醒覺

362
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:38,515
發現我身邊的人

363
00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:40,100
他們過自己的生活

364
00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:43,854
但不在乎該如何去過

365
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,315
只在乎何謂人生

366
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:49,485
我明白此道理後,一切都改變了

367
00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:52,780
看看坐在那邊的女人

368
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:54,573
她不在乎別人目光

369
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:57,326
只在享受生活,活在當下

370
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:58,786
你不必這樣做的

371
00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:00,746
-做甚麼?
-假扮未來聖誕鬼靈

372
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,623
勸我若不改變自己

373
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:06,543
最後便會淪為那個戴著醜怪綠松石頸鏈
打扮隆重的女士

374
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:07,920
或者你之所以戴此頸鏈

375
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,840
是因為這是你老公在西班牙
買給你的結婚週年禮物

376
00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:18,847
-她是你老婆嗎?
-是

377
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,182
天啊

378
00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:25,312
對不起

379
00:18:25,312 --> 00:18:28,440
我又故態復萌

380
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,317
-我簡直一塌糊塗
-你是

381
00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:32,069
-謝謝
-但沒所謂

382
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,654
因為我也是如此

383
00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:35,447
在我遇見小蟋蟀之前

384
00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:41,036
但願我仍能多告訴她一次她有多美麗

385
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:51,630
好吧

386
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,427
不好意思,希望不太唐突

387
00:18:57,427 --> 00:19:01,181
但我覺得該有人要告訴你
你今晚看上去有多美

388
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:03,433
真是意外

389
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:05,227
謝謝

390
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:06,812
我很喜歡你的頸鏈

391
00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:09,356
是我老公送給我的

392
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:13,443
有點誇張,但它令我想起他

393
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,531
雖然我平時不會如此

394
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,616
但我能否問你,我可否坐在這裡

395
00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:21,118
和你喝一杯?

396
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:22,661
只能是龍舌蘭

397
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:24,413
請坐

398
00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:27,499
我是妮爾

399
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:28,792
我是小蟋蟀

400
00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:35,299
進來吧

401
00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:37,843
-喂
-我買了更多拾便袋

402
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,344
替亞瑟買的

403
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:41,972
令你隨時準備好

404
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:43,557
謝謝

405
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,350
還有別的事嗎?

406
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,896
其實這個病不再稱為亞氏保加症

407
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:51,190
而是自閉症譜系障礙

408
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,192
每個人的情況都有所不同

409
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,236
而對我來說,我需要系統和固定活動

410
00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:00,699
做事有正確的方法和錯誤的方法

411
00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:02,534
沒有灰色地帶

412
00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:04,369
像是拾便袋

413
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:05,537
算是吧

414
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:08,040
但我是環境法律師,我只是為了環保

415
00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:10,125
世界氣候很極端了

416
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,293
對

417
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:12,628
還有

418
00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:19,468
我知道我有時很難相處

419
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:20,844
有人這樣告訴我過

420
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:24,556
我也是

421
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:26,475
或者我們很合拍

422
00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:31,980
今天過得開心點

423
00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,781
人生要過得怎樣才算好?

424
00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:43,367
我們總嘗試用一句句子形容別人的人生

425
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:44,785
「她是個很成功的記者」

426
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:47,913
「他是我的舊朋友,新上司」

427
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,206
「她是在職媽媽」

428
00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:50,749
太多親吻了

429
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:54,002
「他是好好味吹波糖廣告歌作曲者」

430
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:57,172
事實上,一句句子
是無法形容一個人的人生

431
00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:58,924
我知道現在情況不算好

432
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,677
但我有計劃,只需多點時間...

433
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:02,886
因為人生很複雜

434
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:04,930
謝了,爸爸

435
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,099
{\an8}人們並非總如我們以為的那樣

436
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,183
{\an8}(對不起,愛你)

437
00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:10,435
真相是,我們都是半成品

438
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:12,813
我們的關係也是

439
00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:14,731
不僅是我們想維持的舊關係

440
00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:19,403
有時,若我們夠幸運

441
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,738
新關係會突然出現

442
00:21:21,738 --> 00:21:22,823
(地下夜店)

443
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,074
嘿

444
00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:27,494
準備好狂歡了嗎?

445
00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:28,578
當然了

446
00:21:28,578 --> 00:21:30,080
走吧

447
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:33,166
-我能告訴你以前的事
-求之不得

448
00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:36,837
「自此,莫提華斯堡深信」

449
00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:39,339
「你無法知道你在人生中會遇到何事」

450
00:21:39,339 --> 00:21:42,342
「只需打開心扉,好好聆聽」

451
00:21:42,342 --> 00:21:44,094
「人人都有其故事」

452
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:46,805
「你只需慢慢發掘出來」

453
00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:51,393
我本來想讃你寫得很好
但你就會太過得意忘形

454
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,854
所以我打算直接上載給出版部

455
00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:55,188
-好吧
-好吧

456
00:21:57,232 --> 00:21:59,318
別被我的美言沖昏了頭腦,阿伯

457
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:00,736
我只是想保住這份工

458
00:22:05,615 --> 00:22:06,825
{\an8}連一聲再見也不說

459
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,327
{\an8}正衰人

460
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,829
{\an8}喂,我傳了電郵給你,關於下一篇文章

461
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:12,622
{\an8}是一位在唐人街開出名點心店的

462
00:22:12,622 --> 00:22:13,707
{\an8}女老闆

463
00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:15,167
{\an8}收到

464
00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:19,588
{\an8}嗨

465
00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:21,131
{\an8}我死了,所以我有話直說

466
00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:23,258
{\an8}你的天然止汗劑沒用

467
00:22:23,258 --> 00:22:24,676
{\an8}你為何不結婚?

468
00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:26,011
{\an8}時間不多了

469
00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:31,433
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