1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,836
早晨,一杯給你

2
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,295
-謝謝
-一杯給我

3
00:00:04,295 --> 00:00:06,089
你的咖啡真大杯

4
00:00:06,631 --> 00:00:08,383
其實有 13 份濃縮咖啡

5
00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:12,137
真的很辛苦,我要帶工作回家做

6
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:15,098
你檢查過你的一氧化碳監測機嗎?

7
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:16,808
我聞到煤氣味

8
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,643
對,你怕又死多一次嗎?

9
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,187
你了解機械學嗎?

10
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:25,525
小趣聞,「機械」這個詞
來自捷克語 「Robota」

11
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:27,819
即是強迫勞工

12
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:32,365
至少我們其中一人
暫時不用擔心會有心臟病

13
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:39,330
我覺得撰寫訃文影響到我的情緒

14
00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:41,374
-我完全明白
-是嗎?

15
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,918
不,我不明白,對不起,我熱愛工作

16
00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:46,504
別道歉,你是潮流編輯

17
00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:49,549
你的辦公室不僅大
更充滿自然光、氧氣和尊嚴

18
00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:54,012
你應該慶幸沒有奇怪的實習生跟實你

19
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,013
盯著你

20
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:56,931
對,美森

21
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:59,809
他讀達特茅斯學院
就以為自己比其他人厲害

22
00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:02,729
要媽媽每天送他上班,還竟然如此自信

23
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,356
他們這年代在高中時不會遭受欺凌

24
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,442
他們勢不可擋

25
00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:25,919
嗨,我是...

26
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,338
另一個我很樂意打敗的實習生

27
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,466
好吧,但我不是實習生

28
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,259
那你為何用了我的辦公室?

29
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:35,553
-那個儲物室?
-對,實習生

30
00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:37,847
一定是因為你比我老 25 歲

31
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,265
他們可憐你

32
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:40,934
你知道我在這裡是受薪工作

33
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,644
不代表你能搶走我的儲物室

34
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:47,107
實習生之戰已經展開,只有一人能存活

35
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,525
再說一次,我不是...

36
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:50,860
算了

37
00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:53,571
(未幸福、未準備好)
(未結婚、未自由)

38
00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:55,824
{\an8}(未滿足、未成功)
(未有錢、未做好)

39
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:56,825
{\an8}(未長大)

40
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,326
《人生未玩完》

41
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,914
{\an8}但願我能像天娜喜歡沙律一樣
喜歡所有東西

42
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:06,167
{\an8}-你有兩個細路
-對

43
00:02:06,751 --> 00:02:11,005
{\an8}-暫停印刷...
-她知道這句話很老土嗎?

44
00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:13,424
{\an8}她這樣說,通常是因為她爸爸打電話給她

45
00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:14,509
{\an8}罵她銷量不好

46
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:16,177
{\an8}我剛和我爸爸講完電話

47
00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:19,222
{\an8}報紙銷量並不好

48
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,432
{\an8}真可怕,你竟然預測到她會說甚麼

49
00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:23,059
{\an8}讀者數字下跌

50
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,978
{\an8}我們要找方法吸引讀者注意

51
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,105
{\an8}我們需要報道爆炸性新聞

52
00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:29,774
{\an8}關於社會的熱門話題

53
00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:30,942
你,你是後生仔

54
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:33,194
你有濫藥嗎?我們可以寫關於這個

55
00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:35,947
有吃佳力天和使用哮喘吸入器

56
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,991
這樣不行,知道嗎?

57
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,243
我們要寫篇爆料文
替你申請《毒癮女孩》高中入學

58
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,703
幫他裝上錄音機

59
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,955
{\an8}麗絲...《毒癮女孩》高中

60
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,331
{\an8}不是真的高中

61
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:47,792
{\an8}對,謝謝

62
00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:51,588
{\an8}重點是我們需要更精彩的報道,好嗎?

63
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,631
{\an8}精彩的故事到處都能發生

64
00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:55,508
天娜,別再吃沙律了!

65
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,010
來吧,有人有靈感嗎?

66
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,053
別看到我,我要躲起來

67
00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,221
我有提議

68
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,681
{\an8}不

69
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:04,934
{\an8}我需要年青潮流的文章
你寫的是老人過身的文章

70
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:08,897
真串,除非她指的是別的意思

71
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,024
-她沒有
-真串

72
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,483
(南加州獨立報)

73
00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:16,571
{\an8}我來了,嘩

74
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:18,990
{\an8}愁雲慘霧

75
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,326
{\an8}那你會告訴麗絲
我的能力不止於撰寫訃文

76
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:22,619
{\an8}幫我逃出噩夢嗎?

77
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:25,413
{\an8}你知道如果我做得到
我一定會做,但我做不到

78
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:28,208
{\an8}但別喪氣,我有份小禮物給你

79
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,711
{\an8}-令我辦公室更香的禮物?
-不,臭味是從牆壁傳來的

80
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,129
{\an8}對

81
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:35,006
{\an8}我有你下一篇文章的主角

82
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:37,425
{\an8}激勵人心的演講大師,珍瑪芙

83
00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,594
{\an8}她撰寫了《展露真我:釋放內心猛虎》

84
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,597
{\an8}幫助我向我爸爸出櫃

85
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,475
{\an8}雖然我好像說錯了某些術語

86
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:48,436
{\an8}因為他以為我參加了海軍

87
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,190
{\an8}總之,祝你寫訃文愉快

88
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:54,651
「提升自信」

89
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:58,988
「用 36 步變成兇猛老虎」

90
00:03:59,697 --> 00:04:00,907
「珍瑪芙」

91
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:02,825
你好,老虎

92
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:08,331
誰準備好爭取他們想要的成就
並想要他們爭取到的成就?

93
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,876
{\an8}天啊,好吧

94
00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:15,255
{\an8}你是誰?我的精神導師?

95
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,422
{\an8}明天見,貝琪

96
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:17,507
{\an8}你是天使嗎?

97
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,591
{\an8}繼續做自己,維農

98
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:20,969
{\an8}或者我才是天使,這樣合理多了

99
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,720
祝你照電腦斷層掃描順利,莎蓮娜

100
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:26,057
不,我受夠你們這些鬼了,你不能跟我走

101
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:27,100
鬼?

102
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:30,645
嘩,當鬼的好處

103
00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:32,855
還有甚麼?

104
00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:35,233
聽住,女士,是這樣的

105
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,026
你會跟著我,煩我一兩天

106
00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:38,569
直到我寫好你的訃文為止

107
00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:40,697
他們會刊登你的訃文,但沒人會看

108
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:43,449
然後我又會因為人生而輕微驚恐症發作
之後你便會離開

109
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,993
我遇過更奇怪的情況

110
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,996
幸好,我最近認識了一個開紅酒吧的朋友

111
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,497
所以我會去那裡

112
00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:52,208
開一瓶莎當妮,直到爛醉

113
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,544
(小蟋蟀紅酒吧)

114
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:55,670
給你

115
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,964
小蟋蟀,我很喜歡你的酒吧

116
00:04:58,464 --> 00:04:59,841
環境很好

117
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:03,886
這裡有你、有氣氛、有酒喝

118
00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:07,807
我和莫提是在西班牙的品酒會上認識的

119
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:11,019
我們一直很想開一間酒吧

120
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:13,938
我們開了,他卻死了,我只好繼續經營

121
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:15,648
你過得如何?

122
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,400
-還好吧
-是嗎?

123
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:21,529
我的客人都很友善可愛

124
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:22,780
真好

125
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:25,616
-我煩得要死
-甚麼?

126
00:05:25,616 --> 00:05:28,077
不,我...很感謝他們的同情

127
00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:31,164
但我不想他們繼續故意遷就我

128
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,166
我希望他們能做回自己

129
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,751
我不相信你竟這樣做

130
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,961
謝謝你們前來

131
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,339
節哀順變

132
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,091
悲傷是如海浪般分階段出現的

133
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,974
可惡,妮爾,你別也這樣

134
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:53,561
這是個很美妙的比喻,悲傷就如海浪

135
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:55,480
算了,小蟋蟀

136
00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:00,318
(畢摩爾公寓)

137
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,406
早晨

138
00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:08,659
天啊

139
00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:12,205
我出發去天上叢林之前

140
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:15,249
我決定將你收為我的關門弟子

141
00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:16,918
不必了,謝謝

142
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,711
我們起床不是為了放棄的

143
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:22,382
你的工作環境頗糟糕
我還希望你的家會比較好

144
00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:24,675
很好,健身單車

145
00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:29,389
別低估在叢林中運動的力量

146
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:34,477
你知道豹能每天以「Z」字形
狂奔 32 公里嗎?

147
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:35,812
豹也會吃水果麥片嗎?

148
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,147
早晨,妮爾

149
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,026
很好,你已婚,我們便能跳至第三部分

150
00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:44,904
記住,你答應過每天早上 8 點 都會帶亞瑟出去

151
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,364
如果你想繼續住在這裡的話

152
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:50,410
-成人室友,很合理
-幸好你提起我們的規矩

153
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,704
我想修改規矩,將健身單車搬離飯廳位置

154
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:55,790
我們便能在廚房放張飯枱

155
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:56,874
為甚麼?

156
00:06:56,874 --> 00:06:58,793
你有地方可以吃飯,你的房間

157
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:01,254
或者你可以鋪好梳化坐在上面吃

158
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,256
若你是個怪物,也能在廁所吃飯

159
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,509
也可以在早餐吧枱吃飯
只要你搬走所有奇怪文件就好

160
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,719
不行,這些是很重要的法律文件,好嗎?

161
00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:10,054
我正在負責一單案件

162
00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:11,597
別將碗放在健身單車手柄上

163
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:12,807
我的工作也很重要

164
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:15,101
但你沒見到我侵佔所有飯廳空間

165
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,185
是嗎?

166
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:19,063
你是想阻止美國職棒小聯盟棒球場

167
00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:21,941
建在西南柳木鶲棲息的沼澤上

168
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:24,944
因為此舉能影響
附近水道和濕地的昆蟲數目?

169
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:26,362
如果我想,我可以

170
00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:28,281
妮爾,我正在拯救活生生的生命

171
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,658
我不是為死人撰寫報告

172
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,410
好吧,再見

173
00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:37,373
你任由那高佬這樣對你?

174
00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:39,000
我不是任由他這樣對我

175
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,794
他有自閉症,誠實是他性格的一部分

176
00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:44,505
我是看抖音學來的

177
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,259
-喂
-喂

178
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:49,469
我買了些沙律

179
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,637
我打算我們一起在你的豪華辦公室吃飯

180
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:54,932
我也想,但麗絲叫所有編輯開會談主題

181
00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:57,059
她也空運了些龍蝦來

182
00:07:57,059 --> 00:08:00,188
她認為貴價食物能激勵士氣

183
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,689
的確可以

184
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:03,691
但我會偷拿些龍蝦給你,好嗎?

185
00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:06,861
《毒癮》仔,你也進來

186
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:08,488
她點我名

187
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,449
阿姍,這條褲很好看,進來吧!

188
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:14,076
實習生也能進去?他只是個實習生!

189
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,749
看來你和沙律愛好者被困在多人辦公室

190
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,003
我不能相信美森竟能進去

191
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,214
-各位乾杯
-乾杯

192
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:29,342
我當初投身新聞界時,前途一片光明

193
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:33,054
若我沒跟菲臘搬去倫敦
我或者也會在裡面

194
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:37,308
我會和你說
我曾對演員狄莫梅朗尼說過的話

195
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:40,770
「‘或者’並不重要,因為你沒實行過」

196
00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:43,147
我和狄莫的人生經歷不同

197
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,192
我...

198
00:08:49,403 --> 00:08:52,448
總之我已經厭倦聽死人說話

199
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:54,075
那麼你便好好想個辦法

200
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:57,411
你也聽到麗絲說甚麼
她對我的提議沒興趣

201
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:03,000
你認為老虎會等待白胖寶寶

202
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,419
自己走到叢林之中嗎?

203
00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:07,046
當然不會

204
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:11,050
牠會走到村落之中,從媽媽身上偷走寶寶

205
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:18,975
當我聽到愛德華正在負責

206
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:21,686
有關拯救西南柳木鶲的案件

207
00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:24,814
我立刻覺得這會是個很精彩的報道

208
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:28,693
對,寫好這篇報道,是三贏局面

209
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:31,445
你有新工作,我得到最後的成就

210
00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:33,823
你也不必再和鬼打交道

211
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,371
就咁話

212
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,332
珍,將我變成老虎吧

213
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,586
好,一定很精彩

214
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,171
我很久沒寫過有意義的文章

215
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,341
-我能做到吧?
-我能做到吧?

216
00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:55,886
若我不是鬼,我會摑你一巴

217
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:58,723
你只需要有人推你一把,播放吧

218
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:00,057
好

219
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:04,020
叢林是自然的演習場

220
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:07,481
殺人或者被殺,你的叢林在何處?

221
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:10,943
可能是你的辦公室、睡房、教堂...

222
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:13,154
好,等等,這影片...有多長?

223
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:16,115
精彩刺激的 17 小時 30 分鐘

224
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:17,825
我沒這麼多時間

225
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:19,368
我教你一些基本概念吧

226
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:23,039
第一步,夢想如同願望

227
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,625
定下目標,付諸實行

228
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:30,546
第八步,失敗等於即將成功
只是你不知道

229
00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:32,298
議員,我再問一次

230
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:35,092
本市有多少稅收將用於
體育館的興建資金?

231
00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:39,764
我不能這樣工作

232
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:41,891
想吸些可卡因嗎?

233
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:45,061
我是指我的工作空間

234
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,187
別動

235
00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:49,565
為何螺絲比洞口還多?

236
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:56,572
第 17 步,當你覺得自己很渺小 便壯大自己

237
00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,492
你有夜用衛生棉嗎?

238
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:02,578
-我不覺得有何關聯...
-我知道,穿上吧

239
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,792
恭喜

240
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,378
你可以播第二隻碟了

241
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:15,591
怎麼回事?

242
00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:17,760
我正在為你的案件寫一篇文章

243
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,720
西南柳木鶲會多謝你

244
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,889
但你為何搬走我架健身單車?

245
00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:24,225
因為我也住在這裡

246
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,560
若你能放一輛健身單車

247
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,814
我也能放一張枱吃早餐

248
00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:32,191
和你溝通很困難

249
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:34,735
當你看來就像三個細路疊起來

250
00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:36,654
嘗試偷進戲院看三級片

251
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:41,367
只看過第一隻碟的妮爾
會接受你的誠實爛話

252
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:42,827
但我要坦白和你說

253
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:45,788
你定下了太多愚蠢規矩和不合理的期望

254
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,790
和你同住,簡直煩到爆

255
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:52,837
明白

256
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:56,882
做得好

257
00:11:57,591 --> 00:12:00,261
現在該做最後一步

258
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:04,682
用光你的資源

259
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,520
以星期三來說,你的衣著頗大膽

260
00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:11,731
我在嘗試新風格

261
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,982
很有進步

262
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,525
-你們好!
-小蟋蟀!

263
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,736
我想你和我最好的朋友阿姍認識

264
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,113
-嗨
-她替我爭取回去報社工作

265
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:22,658
我要謝謝你將妮爾帶來我的生命中

266
00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:26,912
她為我丈夫莫提寫了一篇很優美的訃文

267
00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:31,167
節哀順變

268
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:37,256
記住,天無絕人之路

269
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,092
-謝謝
-不客氣

270
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:43,888
-同情是我的超能力
-當然了

271
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,599
我寫了一篇爆料文

272
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,976
關於在濕地興建棒球場的貪污事件

273
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:51,854
這是我寫過最精彩的文章

274
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:55,065
我想你讓麗絲看看

275
00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:56,192
妮爾

276
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:59,111
你聽到她說了甚麼,她想要這種報道

277
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,155
你們是朋友

278
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,032
你很了解她

279
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,367
你才剛獲安排寫訃文

280
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:07,661
你為何如此趕急想換工作?

281
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:11,874
兩分鐘,只是兩分鐘的平板支撐

282
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:16,545
我無法解釋,但我不能再寫訃文

283
00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:17,797
我愛你

284
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,508
但聽起來你只想走捷徑

285
00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:23,761
她不明白我們,你不能再和她做朋友

286
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,222
你說得對,我不該提起這件事

287
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,682
那篇文章並不重要,我們來吃午飯吧

288
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,684
好吧

289
00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:32,019
我們會找到別的方法

290
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:39,068
嘿,天娜,誰負責上載文章至報社網頁?

291
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,617
嘩,很豐富的沙律

292
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,327
謝謝

293
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,162
所有文章都要經各版編輯看過

294
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:52,748
然後他們才發給網絡上載工程師

295
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,126
-我好像沒見過他們
-是美森

296
00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:58,754
他今早幫麗絲調校了電話字體大小

297
00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:00,714
她現在覺得他是 IT 之神

298
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,009
嘿

299
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,846
你看上去很油潤

300
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:10,850
對,我昨天吃了太多熱牛油

301
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:14,854
令我身體很不妥,我的竹製床單都濕透了

302
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:15,896
核突

303
00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:18,858
看到你的表情,我覺得吃每一口也值得了

304
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,318
這正是我來的原因

305
00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:24,488
我...不想再互相競爭

306
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:25,823
我們該開始互相扶持

307
00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,242
-為甚麼?
-一言為定好嗎?太好了

308
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:32,371
我要請你上載一篇文章
因為丹尼斯太忙沒時間上載

309
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,873
但他很想上載這篇文章

310
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,625
這樣很好,我很高興我們做朋友了

311
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:38,711
-顯然你在講大話,我不會做的
-為甚麼?

312
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:40,296
除非...

313
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:43,883
-好,即管說,你想要甚麼?
- 5000 元和一輛萬事得?

314
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,092
-不
-將我的辦公室還給我?

315
00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:46,176
-成交
-好

316
00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:47,303
好

317
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,559
我很開心幫助你不再那麼可憐

318
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:57,646
對,如果你是我遇到最後一個死人
真的太怪了

319
00:14:58,188 --> 00:14:59,189
我明白

320
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:00,983
{\an8}(棒球場醜聞曝光)

321
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:04,486
{\an8}-勁!你做到了!
-對,我成功了

322
00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:06,155
-你做了甚麼?
-甚麼?

323
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:08,157
麗絲要我們去她的辦公室

324
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,992
因為她看了我的文章?

325
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:11,368
也很喜歡?

326
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:15,205
並想升我職?給我吃龍蝦?

327
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:21,086
《展露真我:釋放內心猛虎》不能退款了

328
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:24,924
你的文章已下架

329
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:29,386
你的所作所為很過分
一旦出錯,我們便會被告

330
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:33,557
還有你的外套很醜
你聞起來就如夏天雨季一樣臭

331
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:35,893
是我的膊頭

332
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:39,897
妮爾...你的名字怎樣寫?

333
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,273
怎麼了?

334
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:42,608
這是我的員工機會簿

335
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:45,361
記錄了所有員工還剩下多少次機會

336
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:47,529
-之後便會被炒魷魚
-我有多少次機會?

337
00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:49,823
五次

338
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:51,283
妮爾,你有一次

339
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,327
令我覺得五次也算頗多

340
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:54,745
-我們永遠都是朋友
-好吧

341
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:56,038
等等...

342
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,249
幾年前,我離開了並毀了人生

343
00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:02,711
我想告訴你我很珍惜這份工作

344
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:08,342
但當我獲安排寫訃文,我便一直無法專注

345
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,344
我無法做到最好

346
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:15,099
我知道若轉職為調查報道記者
我會對報社更有貢獻

347
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,394
我不明白

348
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:21,063
麗絲,妮爾說的是

349
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,649
她認為她能寫出你想要的吸睛文章

350
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,360
若你奪取她的最後機會,她便無法證明

351
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,445
她能寫出你想要的精彩文章

352
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:32,741
我現在明白了

353
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:34,743
她為何一早不說?

354
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:36,787
阿姍,你還有八次機會

355
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:40,249
我可以用一次機會
來證明妮爾是個很優秀的記者?

356
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:42,668
她的確很優秀

357
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,963
我收到很多讀者電郵,稱讚她寫的訃文

358
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,340
因為某些原因
你的確和我們的讀者建立聯繫

359
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:51,927
甚麼?真的嗎?

360
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,846
對,他們大部分都說同一件事

361
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:57,474
就是你看來很了解訃文對象

362
00:16:57,474 --> 00:17:00,019
所以我才需要你繼續負責寫訃文

363
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:03,564
除非你不想做這份工
我便可以翻回這頁...

364
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,607
不...她想做的,妮爾,快點頭

365
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:08,110
上下點頭,對了,走吧...謝謝

366
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:11,613
這樣吧...你有想過收集留言
然後出版一本稱讚之書嗎?

367
00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:13,907
你有想過出版一本壞主意之書嗎?

368
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:15,659
謝謝

369
00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:19,705
謝謝你救了我一命,我只是...

370
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:23,042
我不相信你竟然願意為了我犧牲一次機會

371
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:27,171
你講笑嗎?她的細路咬了我的細路
所以我有無限機會

372
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:28,589
-真好
-我知道

373
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:32,760
我猜...我是過於著重我沒做的事

374
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,512
我卻忽略了我做了好事

375
00:17:35,512 --> 00:17:37,473
對,你有時的確會這樣

376
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,350
-沒錯
-是嗎?

377
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:42,644
就像你仍未做好一件事

378
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:44,146
就像換別的事做

379
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:46,190
你這次也是這樣

380
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:48,275
上次你放棄自己生活

381
00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:49,818
為了菲臘離開也是一樣

382
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:54,656
或者你該耐心等待,享受現狀

383
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,284
-在這公司嗎?
-對,在這公司

384
00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:58,368
和我一起

385
00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:01,997
我或者很了解麗絲
但你知道我最了解的是你

386
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:05,709
-我愛你
-我愛你

387
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:09,588
不用多謝

388
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,216
多謝你甚麼?你差點害我失業

389
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,803
還是我令你想要爭取應有的成就?

390
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:16,929
你真煩人

391
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:20,891
我六名前夫中,有五名也是這樣說我的

392
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:23,143
我很期待為你撰寫訃文

393
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:26,814
對,先來談談你是怎樣發掘到此天賦吧

394
00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:31,944
很精彩的故事
我在亞利桑那州立大學修讀動物學

395
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,404
也有一對不會表達愛的父母

396
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,120
嗨

397
00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:43,705
讓我搬走我的枱

398
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:50,254
-謝謝
-好

399
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:57,302
我說你很煩,對不起

400
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:02,891
沒關係,如果人們能坦白告訴我
我覺得更好

401
00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:03,976
天啊

402
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,312
我女友經常說我很煩

403
00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:11,817
她也說訃文不是死人報告

404
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,443
因為訃文能為人帶來解脫和寬慰

405
00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:17,030
我從沒如此想過,但我猜她說得對

406
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:20,576
對,我開始也明白了

407
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,997
-我要下來了
-好

408
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:31,253
若我們要繼續同住
我猜我們該好好溝通

409
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:32,754
我同意

410
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:36,425
希望這能助我了解
你不理智又飄忽的情緒變動

411
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,468
還有你對枱的迷戀

412
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:42,806
-你一定要提起那張枱嗎?
-自閉症患者很討厭枱

413
00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:46,435
-真的嗎?
-不,講笑而已,別這樣

414
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,437
別再在抖音上學習了

415
00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:52,524
但...這樣又快又潮

416
00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:57,821
-嘿
-嘿

417
00:19:57,821 --> 00:20:01,408
她來了,我最愛的新客人

418
00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:03,869
愛德華,我想介紹我的朋友小蟋蟀

419
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,329
很高興認識你

420
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:06,705
聽說你丈夫過身了

421
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:09,374
我叫過你別說這件事

422
00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:12,502
一定很難過,你仍如此年青,身材又好

423
00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:16,089
你還有排守寡,可能有 20 年?

424
00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:18,091
愛德華,小蟋蟀,對不起

425
00:20:18,091 --> 00:20:22,137
我很喜歡,終於有人夠坦白

426
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,432
{\an8}他也說得對,我大把青春

427
00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:30,687
{\an8}但你卻很孤單,他死了

428
00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,397
{\an8}對,很傷心

429
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,066
{\an8}-極其浪費
-的確

430
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,525
{\an8}你是個可憐的老女人

431
00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:39,363
{\an8}-妮爾,她剛失去丈夫
-我以為我們現在是在...

432
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:40,364
{\an8}以為甚麼?

433
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:42,991
{\an8}去死吧

434
00:20:44,117 --> 00:20:45,327
{\an8}他死了

435
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,371
{\an8}-我...你別...
-的確是

436
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:49,539
{\an8}-你真大膽,你知嗎?
-知道嗎?

437
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,462
字幕翻譯:李樂焮