1 00:00:00,367 --> 00:00:00,400 (T 2 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:00,433 (Tri 3 00:00:00,433 --> 00:00:00,467 (Trium 4 00:00:00,467 --> 00:00:00,500 (Triumph 5 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:00,533 (Triumphan 6 00:00:00,533 --> 00:00:00,567 (Triumphant 7 00:00:00,567 --> 00:00:00,600 (Triumphant mu 8 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:00,633 (Triumphant musi 9 00:00:00,633 --> 00:00:01,701 (Triumphant music) 10 00:00:01,701 --> 00:00:03,403 So I'm choreographing a professional, 11 00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:05,505 gold medal level figure skating routine 12 00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:07,574 to Whitney Houston's "I Have Nothing." 13 00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:09,876 Wait, so you're a choreographer? 14 00:00:09,876 --> 00:00:11,011 Carolyn: I'm not a choreographer. 15 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,579 - Clarence: Can you skate? - I've been on skates. 16 00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:13,546 Oh! 17 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:16,416 What she wants to do is a little crazy. 18 00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:20,053 Has everybody forgotten that Carolyn is not a choreographer? 19 00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:22,789 I don't even know if I can do it and I'm an Olympic medalist. 20 00:00:22,922 --> 00:00:23,857 She's got a plan. 21 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,425 ♪ 22 00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:26,559 Everybody happy? 23 00:00:26,559 --> 00:00:27,694 Fabulously. 24 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,262 ♪ 25 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:44,477 (indistinct chatter in background) 26 00:00:45,278 --> 00:00:47,213 (Nat): What are you gonna do differently? 27 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,285 You say the boys are gonna play like you but the chirping, 28 00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:53,787 and the lumber, and the running around 29 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:55,522 have always been your game. 30 00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:58,124 So, if I keep this team going, 31 00:00:58,124 --> 00:01:00,727 how're you gonna raise your game? 32 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:03,029 What are you gonna do differently? 33 00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:15,408 (heavy metal music plays) 34 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,170 (♪) 35 00:02:56,075 --> 00:02:58,978 (heavy metal music ends) 36 00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:01,881 (Shoresy): This team will never lose again. 37 00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:04,150 (rock music plays) 38 00:03:08,721 --> 00:03:10,990 Welcome to another edition of "Questionable Call" 39 00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:13,026 brought to you by BROdude Energy. 40 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,627 {\an8}I'm your host, Anik Archambault, 41 00:03:14,627 --> 00:03:17,030 {\an8}along with our panelists, Tessa Bonhomme, 42 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,432 {\an8}Jay Onrait, and the man they call RA. 43 00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:21,834 {\an8}Mesdames and messieurs, why save the best for last? 44 00:03:21,834 --> 00:03:23,803 We're leading with these peckerheads now? 45 00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:25,605 I take it you saw the most recent installment 46 00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,340 of Bulldogs Mic'd Up? 47 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:29,175 Oui, monsieur. And here are my personal 48 00:03:29,175 --> 00:03:32,078 highlights from last week's bout with the hicks from Timmins. 49 00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:34,881 Hey, how'd that corn come in, Apeldoorn? 50 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,449 She knee-high by the 4th of July? 51 00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:38,751 Hey, you ever see any crop circles out there or? 52 00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:40,653 Hey, when you're driving by a field of cows, 53 00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:42,222 how hard is it to not just pull over 54 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,924 and rope one of 'em right there? (Apeldoorn): Fuck you, Shoresy! 55 00:03:44,924 --> 00:03:46,859 There's entertainment value, I'll give you that. 56 00:03:46,859 --> 00:03:48,628 Tight competition. But the best stuff comes 57 00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:50,196 when they play Keller in North Bay. 58 00:03:50,196 --> 00:03:53,433 (Shoresy): Holy fuck, Keller, did that C get even bigger? 59 00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:54,968 Should sell ads on that thing. 60 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,236 You know what might look nice 61 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,704 is some overhead lights right here. 62 00:03:57,704 --> 00:04:00,106 Put a missing kid on there, ya fuckin' loser! 63 00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:01,574 I love those Keller exchanges too, 64 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,743 but you cannot beat the Soo. 65 00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:05,078 Hey, those visors come any darker? 66 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,713 I can still kinda see how fuckin' ugly ya are. 67 00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:09,182 Is there an eclipse tonight? I can see your old lady 68 00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:11,517 in the stands up there. You should put one of those on her. 69 00:04:11,517 --> 00:04:13,286 - Are they still undefeated? - Shoresy vowed the team 70 00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:14,954 would never lose again. And well-- 71 00:04:14,954 --> 00:04:16,389 They're all losers in the NOSHO. 72 00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:18,024 After dropping the final game of the season 73 00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:19,525 to the Soo Cyclones last year, 74 00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:21,027 the Sudbury Blueberry Bulldogs 75 00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:22,528 swept the playoffs to win the league. 76 00:04:22,528 --> 00:04:24,364 Damn shame the National Senior Tournament 77 00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:26,399 was cancelled. They were on a heater! 78 00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:27,800 - They still are. - You bet, Tessa! 79 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,603 The Bulldogs are on a 20-game win streak this year, 80 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:33,773 looking to win the final four contest for a perfect season. 81 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:35,408 Never done before in the NOSHO. 82 00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:36,976 They've got the whole team buzzin' 83 00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:39,112 but big individual efforts, too. 84 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,680 Michaels is the best goalie in the NOSHO, 85 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:43,516 and JJ Frankie JJ leads the league in goals! 86 00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:46,152 - Frankie's on top of the world. - Yeah, but they've got the new 87 00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:49,355 American expansion team twice and they're a handful. 88 00:04:49,355 --> 00:04:51,891 You know, only in the NOSHO could there exist two teams 89 00:04:51,891 --> 00:04:54,027 from the Soo. Soo, Ontario, 90 00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,928 and then, I didn't even know there was-- 91 00:04:55,928 --> 00:04:57,864 - Soo, Michigan, baby. - Yes, the NOSHO 92 00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:00,333 - is now a five-team league. - Yeah, but here's the problem, 93 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,735 they've spent the entire season humiliating the rest 94 00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:04,037 of the league on the internet. 95 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,905 They're putting a giant target on their back. 96 00:05:05,905 --> 00:05:07,240 (crowd cheering) 97 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,474 (Anik): Four games left on the campaign, 98 00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:11,477 Timmins, North Bay, Soo Michigan at home, 99 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,446 then Soo Michigan again stateside. 100 00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:15,682 {\an8}(Jay): You know they're all dying to spoil this 101 00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:16,683 {\an8}for the Bulldogs. 102 00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:17,984 They've got bigger problems. 103 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,452 Not to sound like the Bobfather here 104 00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:21,187 but you think Shoresy was bad last year 105 00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:22,355 trying to get them outta the bottom. 106 00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:23,823 - Yes. - I'm hearin' he's way worse 107 00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,291 this year tryin' to keep 'em at the top. 108 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:27,293 Whatever he's doin', it's workin'. 109 00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:29,329 No one can pass the Bulldogs for first place this year. 110 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,098 They've got it locked up. But with four games remaining 111 00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:34,901 and four wins away from a record-breaking season, 112 00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,235 it's up to the Bulldogs. 113 00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:38,971 They can be the best team in the league this year, 114 00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:41,574 or they can be the best team in the league, ever. 115 00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:44,177 Sure, Anik. What could go wrong? 116 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,346 (Shoresy): We're hammerin' too much ass. 117 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,715 - That's why we're here. - Well, not me. 118 00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:51,317 - I know. - Too many distractions, 119 00:05:51,317 --> 00:05:53,753 Shoresy. Priority is a perfect season. 120 00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:56,222 Seriously, Nat, I want that fuckin' record but like-- 121 00:05:56,222 --> 00:05:57,690 I've got my priorities straight. 122 00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:59,492 - Sanger, don't be a pussy. - But what, slut? 123 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:01,294 But like, the boys are right up against it. 124 00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:02,595 - Why? - Well, one, we're on 125 00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:04,097 - a 20-game heater. - And two? 126 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,231 There's an impossible amount 127 00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:06,999 of good-looking girls in Sudbury. 128 00:06:06,999 --> 00:06:09,335 {\an8}(sultry music plays) 129 00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:15,575 {\an8}(speaking French) 130 00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:17,176 {\an8}Too bad all the dudes are ugly, though. 131 00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:19,045 I was just gonna say, Ziig, your hair looks legit 132 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,513 - good like that. - Yeah? 133 00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:22,715 But I still think way more dudes'd be into me. 134 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:25,451 - Guilty. - Sanger... don't be a pussy. 135 00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:26,853 She's my girlfriend, my guy. 136 00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:29,088 Yeah, but ya don't gotta be like... kee-he-he-he! 137 00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:31,224 I asked you to raise your game last year. 138 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,692 - Me? - Oh, my God. 139 00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:34,394 You started working hard away from the rink, 140 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,829 throwing some weights around, and I will give it to you, man, 141 00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:39,132 - you got jacked. - It's the least I can do, Nat. 142 00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:41,501 Seriously, thank you so much for... 143 00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:44,203 keepin' the team goin'. 144 00:06:44,203 --> 00:06:45,805 Tuck in your fuckin' tampon string. 145 00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,940 You answered the call. But then, you went above 146 00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:49,909 and beyond the call and you got the rest of the team 147 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,778 - jacked with you. - What's good for the goose. 148 00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:53,112 Which brings us to the problem 149 00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:55,481 - of my own manufacturing. - Hammerin' too much ass? 150 00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:56,949 - Yeah-- - Huh? 151 00:06:56,949 --> 00:06:58,317 They're top of the league, defending champs, 152 00:06:58,317 --> 00:07:01,154 20-game heater, and they're the most jacked team 153 00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:03,189 in the NOSHO. Can you imagine? 154 00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:05,625 Trust me, you can't. 155 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:15,134 (rap music plays) 156 00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:27,313 Got more ass than Kellogg's got Corn Flakes. 157 00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:29,816 I can't help but feel entirely responsible. 158 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:31,083 - You are. - You think? 159 00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:34,487 Well... if you don't want the boys in snapper, 160 00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:37,990 definitely don't make us do a calendar of sexy photos. 161 00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:39,625 - You're right. - You're an idiot. 162 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:41,461 I can't believe you got 'em to do that shit. 163 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,396 That calendar's gonna bite us in the ass one day, Nat. 164 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:45,498 You look like such a fucking goof in that thing, Shoresy. 165 00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:47,900 Ziig, you got a voice that goes up one side of me 166 00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,969 - and right down the other. - I've got a voice? 167 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,938 Yeah, and a face that makes me go, ah! 168 00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,973 The money from the calendars will help fund our bid 169 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,108 to host the National Senior Tournament. 170 00:07:56,108 --> 00:07:57,910 It won't get cancelled again now. 171 00:07:57,910 --> 00:08:00,112 - Brilliant move, ladies. - Kee-he-he-he! 172 00:08:00,112 --> 00:08:01,981 (Nat): What's good for the goose. 173 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,382 Four games left for a perfect season. 174 00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:05,718 - Keep the boys focused, slut. - I want that record. 175 00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:07,420 Make sure they get the message. 176 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,155 That you want the record? 177 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,490 The other one. 178 00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:13,192 (Shoresy): You're hammerin' too much ass. 179 00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:14,994 Well, I was more talkin' to Goody. 180 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,629 - Mkay. - Dolo, you're hammerin' 181 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:18,231 - way too much ass. - Settle down. 182 00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,699 What am I, chopped liver? 183 00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:21,334 Well, they wheeled more than you. 184 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,668 You're some crooked aren't ya, b'y? 185 00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:23,669 You ever have foie gras? 186 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,538 Yeah, like Dolo wheeled the most. 187 00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:28,241 - Goody's second. - No, foie gras. 188 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:29,675 And then, you well in third. 189 00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:30,910 B'ys, he's right rotted, he is. 190 00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:32,178 I'm not saying you're ugly, 191 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,546 Hitch. That's not what I'm sayin'. 192 00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:35,147 - Charitable of ya, me son. - I'm just sayin' 193 00:08:35,147 --> 00:08:37,016 - you're the ugliest here. - Lard Jeezus! 194 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,317 - You got a dip? - Bethany? 195 00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:39,886 - (Bethany): Yeah? - Join us out 196 00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:41,354 where we're to, please? 197 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,055 (footsteps approaching) 198 00:08:43,055 --> 00:08:45,091 Bethany Dawn. 199 00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:47,059 Isn't it cute how he calls me by my full name? 200 00:08:47,059 --> 00:08:49,929 If we're becomin' one, I do ya the courtesy. 201 00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:51,297 Well, I only know your nickname. 202 00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:52,965 Well, his full name's Ted Hitchcock. 203 00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:55,601 - It's kinda funny 'cause when-- - Who's the ugliest 204 00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:57,270 outta the b'ys here where we're to? 205 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:58,271 Shoresy. 206 00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,906 Now, go on in out of it, me son. 207 00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:01,541 - Sorry. - Yeah, don't worry about it. 208 00:09:02,408 --> 00:09:04,810 - What's that, old man? - Should be two outta three. 209 00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:10,616 {\an8}Let's get on the go! 210 00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:12,151 Melodie? 211 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,689 - Ooh. - We got a nail-biter. 212 00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:18,691 (Britt): Shoresy is the ugliest guy here. 213 00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:20,626 All right, now we're out the other end of 'er. 214 00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:23,663 - (loud belch) - Oh... Frankie is here. 215 00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:25,164 (Big Sexy): Tit fucker. (Britt): Frankie's here? 216 00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:26,599 Yeah, why do you think it smells like 217 00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:28,200 spaghetti carbonara? (Big Sexy): Tit fucker. 218 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,903 Let's get some fuckin' tandoori barbecue kebabs. 219 00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:32,572 I dunno about that Quebecer b'y. 220 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,073 Last year left us in a real pickle 221 00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:36,509 chasin' Laurence Leboeuf back to Quebec. 222 00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:38,244 - Laurence Leboeuf? - Laurence Leboeuf? 223 00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,479 - Well, would you chase 'er? - Yes, b'y. You? 224 00:09:40,479 --> 00:09:41,948 Was a bit young but... 225 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,051 You're still the ugliest, Shoresy. 226 00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:46,352 I don't care. 227 00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:47,820 (Nat): I think he looks pretty good. 228 00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:49,221 (Miig): Girl, no you don't. 229 00:09:49,221 --> 00:09:52,825 (Nat): Yeah, too much Bailey's in my coffee this morning. 230 00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:54,660 (Ziig): Just can't believe you got them to do this shit. 231 00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:55,895 (Nat): Ask and you shall receive. 232 00:09:55,895 --> 00:09:57,396 (Ziig): They knew how much ass would follow. 233 00:09:57,396 --> 00:09:59,098 (Miig): Bingo. (Ziig): Got us to 50% full. 234 00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:00,633 (Nat): Bums in seats, baby. 235 00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:02,234 (Miig): Impressive numbers for senior hockey. 236 00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:04,437 (Nat): But 50 ain't 75. 237 00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:06,272 Has Michaels been acting weird? 238 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,240 (Ziig): Goalies are always weird. 239 00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:13,346 (Nat): The Wolves get so many kids out to the games. 240 00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:16,382 I love seeing that. We need to get more kids to the rink. 241 00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:17,984 (Miig): Kids in sports stay off the streets. 242 00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:20,519 (Ziig): Drugs kill dreams. 243 00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:22,355 (Nat): Yeah. 244 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,757 Let's focus on the youth, ladies. 245 00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:28,728 (Ziig): Could fucking puke. Ugly. 246 00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:30,463 (Shoresy): The good thing about the calendars 247 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,598 is that none of us looked too ugly. 248 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,402 Sure, we're all in top shape, b'ys. 249 00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:37,670 Why not put it up on a calendar? 250 00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:39,105 Yeah, like the calendars'll always be there 251 00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,207 to remind us of a time we weren't too ugly. 252 00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:43,109 One day we'll wish we're still lookin' so good 253 00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:44,543 - as what we did. - Settle down. 254 00:10:44,543 --> 00:10:47,947 But it's kinda funny. It's like, I come in, 255 00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:49,448 I take my tarp off, 256 00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:51,417 and then, we had to take all your pictures again 257 00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:53,185 because you didn't have your tarps off. 258 00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:54,754 Didn't think of it, old man. 259 00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:58,391 Well, if I'm a broad lookin' at a sexy calendar of dudes, 260 00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,426 I'm probably hopin' they have their tarps off. 261 00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,795 Too hand to the game time for a Martoonie, eh, me son? 262 00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:04,930 Those calendars are gonna bite us in the ass one day, 263 00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:07,667 boys. All right, who wants more? 264 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,870 One, two, three, four, fuckin' 500 probably. 265 00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:12,304 {\an8}(Big Sexy): Tit fucker! 266 00:11:12,304 --> 00:11:14,140 (arena organ plays) 267 00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:16,375 (Hitch): Didn't think of the grease downs either, old man. 268 00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:20,346 Hey, we got eight Apeldoorn's on deck here, gents. 269 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,547 Let's get focused here now. 270 00:11:21,547 --> 00:11:23,282 First time I've been in a room wit a dozen 271 00:11:23,282 --> 00:11:26,185 or more greased up dudes, b'ys, and might not be the last. 272 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,756 Well, if I'm a broad lookin' at a calendar of sexy dudes 273 00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:32,391 with their tarps off, I'm probably hopin' 274 00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:34,160 - they're greased down too. - Les Jims. 275 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,227 Oh, is that the Jims? 276 00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:36,395 - (Jim 1): Yeah. - Hey, Jim. 277 00:11:36,395 --> 00:11:37,396 - (Jim 2): Hello. - Jim. 278 00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:38,464 (Jim 3): Sorry we're late, Shoresy. 279 00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:39,765 We were playing Reach For The Top. 280 00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:41,534 All the b'ys with the spray tans too, look. 281 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,835 Well, Dolo didn't get one. 282 00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:44,603 For obvious reasons. Eh, Dolo? 283 00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:46,605 It's pretty obvious why you didn't get one, eh? 284 00:11:46,605 --> 00:11:47,873 And ain't it sum'in. 285 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,575 The Jims didn't lift a single weight, 286 00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:51,510 kept der tarps on the entire time, 287 00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:53,713 and still might be d'most popular of all the b'ys. 288 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,114 Now see, that idea was all me, 289 00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:56,649 but how 'bout a little focusin' here, boys? 290 00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,751 - Let's get focused in here now. - Wait, are we talkin' about 291 00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:00,553 puttin' them in their jail guard uniforms? 292 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,221 Oh, see Hitch, 293 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:05,257 Fish would be the ugliest guy in this room. 294 00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:08,227 Be a lot less ugly if you were still scorin' a goal a game. 295 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,595 You know, I think the uniforms gave-- 296 00:12:09,595 --> 00:12:11,530 {\an8}Shut the fuck up, Michaels. 297 00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:13,866 {\an8}- (loud fart) - Well, like, if I'm a broad 298 00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:15,935 looking at a sexy calendar of greased-down dudes 299 00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:18,537 with their tarps off, I for sure wouldn't mind a few rugged men 300 00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:20,339 - in uniform sauced in there. - Settle down. 301 00:12:20,339 --> 00:12:21,974 Fuckin' bak'er right into the cake, eh Jim? 302 00:12:21,974 --> 00:12:22,942 - Yeah. - Jim? 303 00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:24,276 - Yes. - Jim? 304 00:12:24,276 --> 00:12:25,711 Traditionally, men in uniform do pretty well 305 00:12:25,711 --> 00:12:27,279 with broads, but you should still ask them 306 00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:28,781 how they're doing the odd time, too. 307 00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:30,616 (Shoresy): Big warm-up here, boys! 308 00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:31,951 Let's get the blood flowin' here now! 309 00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:33,385 (Dolo): Hey, Jim. (Jim 1): Yeah. 310 00:12:33,385 --> 00:12:34,520 Jim. (Jim 2): Hello. 311 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,688 - Jim. - What's up, Dolo? 312 00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:37,056 {\an8}What's goin' on, buddy? 313 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,791 {\an8}(Michaels): Trivia. It's like a trivia-- 314 00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:39,992 {\an8}(Shoresy): Shut the fuck up, Michaels. 315 00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:41,560 We run a trivia league at the jail, bro. 316 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,362 (Shoresy): Mental game starts in warm-up here, boys. 317 00:12:43,362 --> 00:12:45,297 Let's go now. (Hitch): But ya calls it 318 00:12:45,297 --> 00:12:46,665 - Reach For De Top? - Yeah. 319 00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:49,001 Reach For The Top's an old Canadian TV game show. 320 00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:50,569 But now it's just mostly run out of high schools. 321 00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:53,472 (Fish): And you run it outta the jail, like with the inmates? 322 00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:54,874 (Shoresy): No, with the mouses, Fish. 323 00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:56,475 Yeah, in teams of four. The inmates compete 324 00:12:56,475 --> 00:12:58,277 against each other but we also have a team of four. 325 00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:00,546 - (Michaels): Who's your fourth? - Timmins Timber Kings, boys! 326 00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:02,314 Let's get that fuckin' record! 327 00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:05,484 Are you rolling? 328 00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:06,986 Cory, are you rolling? 329 00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:08,521 Shoresy will get going before warm-up 330 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,356 so you should always be rolling when they hit the ice. 331 00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:12,024 Actually, start rolling when they're in the tunnel even. 332 00:13:12,024 --> 00:13:14,627 - I'm rolling. - You know, if you clip 333 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:17,763 your walkie mic to your shoulder you can get to it a lot quicker. 334 00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:19,231 You see how I got mine? 335 00:13:19,231 --> 00:13:21,100 (Cory): I'm not doing that. 336 00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:23,469 - Why not? - 'Cause I've never seen a guy 337 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:24,703 with a walkie clipped to his shoulder 338 00:13:24,703 --> 00:13:26,605 gettin' his dink sucked. (walkie beeps) 339 00:13:26,605 --> 00:13:28,374 Found your way outta the corn maze, eh Apeldoorn, 340 00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,876 - ya fuckin' loser? - Comin' for that streak, bud! 341 00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:34,079 Hey, Bill Gates buying up farmland around you guys too or? 342 00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:36,348 Wearing number 8 for the Timmins Timber Kings, 343 00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:39,385 Mervin Emmanual Moses. What a moment for this young man 344 00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:42,321 as it is no doubt the greatest moment of his entire life. 345 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,924 Hey, which one are you? Fuckin' Elmer Isaac Ezekiel? 346 00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:46,492 - (Apeldoorn): You're dead. - You're dead. 347 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,694 - No, I'm-I'm gonna kill ya. - I'm gonna kill you. 348 00:13:48,694 --> 00:13:50,429 I'm serious, I'll fuckin' kill ya, Shoresy. 349 00:13:50,429 --> 00:13:52,364 All right, first shift, we kill each other. 350 00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:54,867 - 20-game heater, ladies. - Let's go, 21. 351 00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:56,268 The eldest Apeldoorn's been fighting everyone 352 00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:58,737 - on the home stretch. - We'll play any way you want. 353 00:13:58,737 --> 00:14:01,040 The luxury of having a full squad of guys who will go. 354 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,776 The only real fight's between our team to see who gets him. 355 00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:06,879 - Well, not all of them will go. - True. 356 00:14:06,879 --> 00:14:09,081 Yeah, but the one who won't will spear you in the face 357 00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:10,449 before you get your mitts off. 358 00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:11,617 (Sanguinet): Shoresy, you ready? 359 00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:13,352 Give your balls a tug, tit fucker. 360 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,787 You're goin'! (Team): Yaa-hoo! 361 00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:16,455 (Sanguinet): Frankie, you ready? (Frankie belches) 362 00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:18,257 You're goin'! (Team): Yaa-hoo! 363 00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:20,392 - Goody, you ready? - Let's fuckin' go, Sanger. 364 00:14:20,392 --> 00:14:22,294 Good 'cause you're goin'! (Team): Yaa-hoo! 365 00:14:22,294 --> 00:14:24,597 - Hitch, you ready? - All hands, b'ys! 366 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,332 Good 'cause you're goin'! (Team): Yaa-hoo! 367 00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:28,467 Dolo, run 'em up and fill 'em in? 368 00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,436 Good 'cause you're fuckin' goin! 369 00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:32,404 - (Team): Yaa-hoo! - The best goalie in the NOSHO, 370 00:14:32,404 --> 00:14:34,306 - Michaels, are you ready? - You're damn right, Sanger! 371 00:14:34,306 --> 00:14:35,708 Good, 'cause you're fuckin' goin'! 372 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,477 - (Team): Yaa-hoo! - Pack mentality, boys! 373 00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:43,249 (electronic music plays) 374 00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:10,276 (music intensifies) 375 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,792 (crowd cheers and boos) 376 00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:36,502 (crowd cheers) 377 00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:38,337 (Shoresy): Who's gonna set the tone, boys? 378 00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:39,605 Who's gonna fuckin' set it?! 379 00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,373 (crowd cheering) 380 00:15:41,373 --> 00:15:43,876 (players shouting indistinctly) 381 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,714 (players): Yeah! 382 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,787 (crowd cheers loudly) 383 00:15:57,823 --> 00:15:59,591 (horn buzzes) 384 00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:02,528 Another goose egg for Michaels. 385 00:16:02,528 --> 00:16:03,696 Best goalie in the league. 386 00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,230 He has been acting weird though. 387 00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:06,665 Goalies are always weird. 388 00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:09,635 - What? - Listen. 389 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,070 (indistinct shouting) 390 00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:12,471 (Shoresy): Fuck's sake! 391 00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:14,640 We thought he was bad trying to get us outta the bottom. 392 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,709 He is way worse trying to keep us at the top. 393 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,979 (indistinct shouting) 394 00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:21,714 (Drumstick clunks) You wanna chit-chat 395 00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,048 with Apeldoorn between plays? 396 00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:25,150 Go fuck him up the ass and get it over with! 397 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:28,387 We only get fuckin' two on the Timmins Timber Kings? 398 00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:30,556 Half these guys worked a fuckin' 12-hour shift. 399 00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:31,623 We only get fuckin' two? 400 00:16:31,623 --> 00:16:33,258 We've got the fuckin' Yanks next week. 401 00:16:33,258 --> 00:16:35,094 We have the fuckin' Yanks next week! 402 00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:36,729 Bet they're over there with a bag of trans fats 403 00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,264 havin' a good fuckin' laugh at us. Hey! 404 00:16:39,264 --> 00:16:40,766 You only get a stick if you played 405 00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:43,102 more than five minutes. (Drumsticks clattering) 406 00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:45,004 The useless don't get a stick 407 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,339 'cause the rest of ya can only get two fuckin' tucks. 408 00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:50,175 Fish! You used a get a goal a fuckin' game. 409 00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:52,444 - How many'd ya get tonight? Huh? - Zero. 410 00:16:52,444 --> 00:16:55,214 - And the game before that? - Zero. 411 00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:56,615 - And the game before that? - Zero! 412 00:16:56,615 --> 00:16:58,784 - You don't get one either! - But they didn't get any. 413 00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:00,285 Yeah, if it weren't for fuckin' Michaels, 414 00:17:00,285 --> 00:17:01,954 the streak'd be over. (Michaels): Thank you, Shoresy. 415 00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:03,589 - Shut the fuck up, Michaels! - Two-nothing lead's 416 00:17:03,589 --> 00:17:05,691 - the worst lead in hockey. - And quit playin' the puck 417 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,559 so much. Think you're fuckin' Marty Turco? 418 00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:09,528 (Drumstick clatters) 419 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:12,264 We were flat as my grade 4 girlfriend 420 00:17:12,264 --> 00:17:13,766 before Jim stepped in. 421 00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:15,467 Thanks, Shoresy. I think any one of these guys 422 00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:16,969 - would have done the same-- - Thanks, Jim! 423 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:19,805 What happened to "They don't ask how, they ask how many?" 424 00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:21,573 - I'm asking how many! - He's asking how many! 425 00:17:21,573 --> 00:17:23,442 - I'm asking how many! - He's fucking asking how many! 426 00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:25,210 - Two isn't fuckin' enough! - Yeah! 427 00:17:30,649 --> 00:17:33,986 (rap music plays) 428 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,775 (Nat): Is he all right? (Miig): He's acting weird. 429 00:17:56,775 --> 00:17:58,210 (Ziig): Goalies are always weird. 430 00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,511 Two goals on Timmins? 431 00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:01,346 I swear, if Frankie wasn't tucking two a game-- 432 00:18:01,346 --> 00:18:04,450 - Frankie's on top of the world. - Look at them. 433 00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:06,518 No wonder they have no legs in the third. 434 00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:08,353 (Miig): They already played a period between the sheets. 435 00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:09,688 (Ziig): Perks of being number one. 436 00:18:09,688 --> 00:18:10,923 Too many distractions. 437 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,024 Shoresy's on it. 438 00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:13,492 You know he wants that fucking record, Nat. 439 00:18:13,492 --> 00:18:15,594 - (Miig laughs) - Look at you! 440 00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:16,762 Go home, you're drunk. 441 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,697 Okay, Shoresy is a dumb, ugly slut. 442 00:18:18,697 --> 00:18:20,766 - Okay, she's back. - Dumbest, ugliest slut 443 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,668 - we've got maybe. - I knew she was still in there. 444 00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:25,003 But that dude commits. 445 00:18:25,003 --> 00:18:27,573 (indistinct chatter) 446 00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:29,708 (Miig): Loves to win. 447 00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:31,009 (Nat): Hates to lose. 448 00:18:31,009 --> 00:18:33,212 (Ziig): Doesn't matter how long it takes to get it. 449 00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:36,148 If he wants it, he'll work. 450 00:18:37,716 --> 00:18:39,418 Guess the rest of them just have to decide. 451 00:18:39,418 --> 00:18:42,488 Yeah. Do they wanna be the best team in the league 452 00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:44,156 this year, or do they wanna be 453 00:18:44,156 --> 00:18:46,158 the best team in the league ever? 454 00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:48,994 - Better decide quick. - Mm-hmm. 455 00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:52,097 'Cause they're comin'. 456 00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:54,399 (music intensifies)