SHARING THEIR FUNNIEST STORIES WITHIN A DRAMA!
IF IT ISN'T FUNNY
THEY'LL BE CUT FROM THE DRAMA.
I wasn't told that this work was going to be so taxing!
WHO WILL MAKE IT TO THE END OF THE SHOW?
What's going on?
A riot?
What?
A riot happened out of nowhere.
Son of a bitch!
The caliber is amazing.
Hey!
Come on now.
This is really intense.
This isn't like TV Tokyo's regular comedy shows at all.
Come on! What's going on?
I'm really scared.
Move out of the way!
I won't be satisfied until I kill these guys!
What is going on?
Why are you hitting the teachers?
If you defend them, you're going to get it too!
What? There he is!
There's the shorty.
Daigo.
I don't recall an umpire starting a match here.
What the hell?
I seem to have missed something.
His entrance is always so lame!
Take this with you.
Damn it!
Why…
Let's get back to our play-pretend relationship.
Don't you dare leave my side.
That wasn't cool at all.
Hey, go re-do that line.
He said it so monotonously.
Right?
At this point, this is just a kidnapping scene.
Let's go!
It's a Netflix Series, so let's go!
ELIMINATED
Wow…
-Take this! -This really is intense.
EPISODE 3 WE CAN MAKE IT RIGHT
-There he is. -For school festival preparations,
this commotion is a bit over the top.
Hitori seems to be having fun by himself.
You know anything,
Ms. Executive-Committee-Member?
Should this come to light, they'll search for those who exposed it
with murder on their mind.
She discovered a secret about the school.
STUDENTS FROM ELITE SCHOOL PHOTOGRAPHED USING DRUGS!
Cheers!
Oh, they were up to no good.
The kids from this school…
Our school tried to cover this scandal up with money to maintain its reputation,
but Toshiya's goal is to expose this corruption.
SUSPECTED DRUG USE BY ELITE SCHOOL STUDENTS
Toshiya doesn't need to shoulder such a dangerous burden by himself.
What?
Hikaru's the one that caused it?
THE TRUTH CONCEALED BY THE SCHOOL ITSELF
Hikaru leaked it to social media.
I see.
It's my fault.
-Stop this! -So that's why all of this is happening.
Mayumi!
-Mayumi! -Who is this Mayumi now?
Are you okay?
Who is she?
Are you okay?
It's her first appearance.
You can do it!
Now we have a flashback scene for this unknown character.
I might get recommended for acceptance to a sports college through badminton.
Is that so? Through a recommendation?
Seriously?
That's amazing, Mayumi!
Oh, but that went out the window because she sprained her ankle.
Mayumi.
What is this emotional story?
-Misato! -Hitori is impressive.
I told you not to leave my side.
-Oh, they're at the gymnasium now. -Wow!
Stay back!
I don't know what happened,
but it's best you practice your cooking elsewhere.
It's a different story if you want to dress a tuna, though.
This is all because of that scandal report that went viral, isn't it?
Did you have anything to do with that?
It's all because I wrote what I did without thinking.
I'm the worst.
Don't do anything rash!
If there's a reason for what you did,
you can tell us.
-We're… -What a reliable guy.
We're friends, after all!
It really does feel like a movie…
-That look on your face… -with Tsukaji's acting here.
That's not what we want to see!
Being silly together
and laughing together…
Go back to how you used to be!
How could I laugh in this kind of situation?
If there's something that could make me laugh…
Here it comes.
I want to hear it!
A funny story.
A FUNNY STORY
-Now? When it's so heavy? -This story time snuck up on me.
A funny story.
-I just need to make you laugh, right? -Yeah.
So valiant.
Can I say it?
Say it.
So reliable.
Don't hurt yourself with that knife, from laughing too much.
What?
He's quite confident.
When I was driving in Chiba the other day,
I saw a sign that read, "A puppy for you!"
When I looked in the box,
there was a small, little puppy.
It was so small and cute.
I…
I said, "I'll take one," and took that puppy home with me.
And then…
It grew bigger, right before my eyes.
I wondered…
what kind of DNA it had,
so I had someone look into it for me.
It was a Doberman.
-That would get big. -It's huge.
-That dog's the pride of Germany. -Yeah.
-That's huge. -That's scary.
Geez.
I did a live comedy performance with Audrey.
A huge event of 1,500 people.
At the end of the performance,
we thought we'd give the fans a treat
by walking around the audience seats.
Give the audience members in the aisle a high-five or something.
I went down, right behind Wakabayashi.
All the hands that touched Wakabayashi's
started pulling back immediately.
They pulled their hands back.
I'm thinking I'm going to high-five them, so I'm like this.
So all I was doing was moving through space,
-like this. -How pitiful.
So sad.
It's not like you could pull your hands back too.
Most of Audrey's fans are horrible.
That's not true!
What do you think, Misato? Have you ever had an experience like this?
But I get it. After touching Wakabayashi's hands,
I wouldn't want to touch anyone else's. And certainly not yours, Tanaka.
What's that supposed to mean?
They're Little Tous, after all.
She's ad-libbing.
That was an ad-lib?
I think this was about 15 years ago.
I had just started appearing on TV.
We were invited to a store in a mall.
But the people at that store didn't know who we were.
They apologized that due to the various events that were happening that day,
there weren't any waiting rooms available.
So our dressing room
was a service elevator.
-What? An elevator for a dressing room? -An elevator?
There were chairs on both sides.
Oh, gosh.
That's where Suzuki and I were supposed to sit and take a rest.
That's where we had to change as well.
We said, "Okay, let's get changed," and started getting into our outfit.
Then, suddenly, the elevator started going up.
"What's happening?"
Then "bam," the doors started opening,
and one of their employees got in…
And then…
That's what would happen.
-…he just rode the elevator with us. -That's so funny.
-It's a service elevator, after all. -Then the elevator went down.
That happened over and over.
Wouldn't that make them late?
Is there such a thing as a dressing room that moves?
-No. -I've never heard of one.
Up and down.
There wasn't anywhere else for them.
When you think about it like that,
balls are really important.
What kind of segue is that?
Balls really are important.
But…
Someone I know…
was diagnosed with a disease that only happens to 1 in 10,000 people.
What?
When it comes to balls, there are two of them,
but in this case, they start twisting.
What?
It really just keeps twisting and twisting.
I guess there's really something like that.
-Because it keeps twisting, -It changes places.
it becomes swollen.
-That's not good. -So he went to the hospital to fix it,
and the doctor said, "This only happens to 1 in 10,000 people."
"Call your parents right away."
"Sir and madam, your son's surgery is going to be complex."
So they waited by the hospital room.
The moment the first muscle was pierced with the scalpel,
it just started spinning really fast and twirled back to normal.
What the hell? That's so silly.
I was told the surgery ended in ten minutes.
It just spun really fast, and it was over.
It spun round and round and returned to their original positions.
-Oh, it went back to normal really fast. -That's right.
I think this was about ten years ago.
I secured the main MC position for a prime-time TV show for the first time.
That's exciting.
I was the main MC, and my co-MC was Akira Ikegami.
-Wow! -Wow!
I was fired up.
But no matter what, I couldn't get the ratings into the double digits.
At best, it was 9%.
But on average, it was about 8%.
It was around then that I decided to get married to Akane Osawa, a celebrity.
A producer asked me if they could turn it into a special episode for the show.
Wow.
-That's something. -But I didn't like it.
I didn't want to get ratings in such an unfair way.
-A bit, maybe. -But
I really wanted to hit double digits.
So…
I did a marriage press conference,
and we showed a video recording of us submitting our marriage certificate.
Wow.
I did the special.
And, the rating for it…
was 6%.
It went down by two percent.
Hitori's wedding brought it down by 2%.
But you're both celebrities.
You're right, we're both celebrities.
What are ratings, anyway?
For real.
I'm…
Muga Tsukaji. Forty-nine. Single.
Forty-nine?
One time, when I was scheduled to film for a drama,
I was sitting alone in my waiting room, reading the script between scenes.
Then my five-year-old co-star comes in and says, "Hey, let's read together."
Since he came over, so I said, "Okay."
Instead of sitting beside me, my co-star sat right on my lap.
-That's cute. -That's cute.
Then they stuck their head in this space, between me and the script.
The two of us read from one script together.
Directly in front of me, there was a mirror.
For no special reason, I looked up at myself
and saw myself sobbing.
I don't know why. It was strange.
Because he wants to be a dad.
I just felt so warm.
Imagining what it would be like to be a father.
A disheveled guy like me
was given
no ulterior motive…
All of their unconditional love.
-Tsukaji's story is a tear-jerker. -It is. All of it.
I…
used to get chased around a lot by the tabloid.
Reporters were often around my house.
Oh, that's tough.
I wouldn't mind if they were taking photos from inside their car.
But they used every trick up their sleeve.
What?
-The worst ones… -He's really selling it.
would sneak a camera into their handheld bag.
There would be a tiny hole in the middle of their bag.
-Right. They'd hold it like this… -That's where the lens would be.
But do you know how I realized that?
-How? -This person…
held the bag…
like a camera.
What an idiot.
I realized it immediately.
What a foolish reporter.
I, on the other hand…
never realized that at all,
so the tabloids got me twice.
-I remember. -I remember.
But since then, I've changed my ways,
and I'm much more earnest now.
But the other day…
a suspicious car was incessantly parked in front of my apartment.
No matter how you looked at it, I could tell they were after me.
-That's scary. -It is.
-I hadn't done anything wrong. -They just stick to you.
I'm not the same person I used to be.
So why is the tabloid coming after me?
What's going to happen by snapping my photo?
Or so I thought.
It turned out that Kon Arimura lives in the same building as me.
He was under fire, yeah.
Jeez.
-So what's going to happen? -It's unforgivable.
-What? -What's going on?
Misato. Unforgivable, isn't it?
Is that Toshi?
What's gotten into you?
I'm Toshihiko Tahara.
-Toshi? -Toshi?
-I'm Toshihiko Tahara. -So Toshi's here.
He's just showing off his impersonating skills.
This isn't a story or anything.
Once upon a time,
when I was with Enomoto
when school finished…
I asked Enomoto, "Did you eat?"
-They're just doing anything. -They're just doing anything
to get a laugh.
Enomoto replied,
"Toshi, I haven't eaten yet."
Toshi!
Probably being mindful.
This guy is unbelievable.
He's determined to stay.
Misato.
What now?
I'm Toshi.
He's pretending to be Toshi.
-Toshi? -I'm Toshihiko Tahara.
-I'm Toshihiko Tahara.
Now.
Don't be fooled, Misato.
-Misato, listen to me. -He's a fake.
More like Chiharu Matsuyama.
-I'm Toshihiko Tahara. -In terms of your hairstyle.
You're Chiharu Matsuyama, right?
I'm Toshi.
I saw something on TV the other day.
I was watching Shoten for the first time in a while.
And then the host Shota was on stage with Taihei.
"I know this is out of the blue, Taihei,
but we're going to do one-line comebacks."
"The topic is, 'I don't want this kind of Olympics.'"
Taihei was caught off-guard and said, "Wait, what?"
"Think about it during the commercial break. Roll the commercials."
It cuts to commercial. When the commercials ended,
I was shocked.
Taihei had drawn
20 high-quality pictures, as his witty one-liners to the topic.
-Incredible, right? -Amazing.
Don't say something like that!
That's not what "anything goes" means.
Hello, I'm Tanjiro Kamado.
It's Tanjiro Kamado.
Total concentration. Water Breathing!
It sounds like Tetsuya Takeda's doing it.
Water Surface Slash!
That's Tetsuya Takeda pretending to be Tanjiro Kamado.
Wow. It's the two of them mixed together.
-Tanjiro, did you eat? -Here he comes.
I did, yeah.
Hello.
I'm a drone beetle trying to survive in the wrong season.
Hey, it's a drone beetle.
-Hey, drone beetle. -Drone beetle.
-Live, drone beetle! -Are you okay, drone beetle?
It's no use.
-I can't get up. -Come on, now.
I was lured in by that light, and then this is what happened.
Sounds rough, drone beetle.
-Drone beetles have it rough. -This is the end for you, drone beetle.
-What's Tanaka going to do? -I wonder what his will be.
I'm Shinichi Mori's…
manager.
His manager?
-He looks like him. -His manager?
I'm his manager.
-Even the manager is like that? -I don't get it.
This is like a short sketch by an up-and-comer.
A short sketch by an up-and-comer.
Is that the first round of the R-1 Grand Prix?
A short sketch by an up-and-comer.
This is what happens when it gets dragged out.
You did the most basic of basic short sketches.
-What do you think, Misato? -That's what you get…
They fixed her.
So you still know how to smile.
You really are a bunch of fools.
That's enough hands-on training, right?
I don't see any ingredients around for fish dressing, anyway.
All of a sudden he's so cool.
You were just pretending to be Toshi.
I…
I just want to do what I can within my power.
That's how it ought to be.
So good.
-Gives me chills. -There they are! Let's go!
Someone's coming.
They look intense. My god!
This is scary.
What's going on?
What do you want with us?
I heard through the grapevines…
-It's Nadal. -…that you're the one
who leaked that article, woman.
So what if that's true?
I'm really tired of the way this school does things.
So we've decided to mess it up.
He's not very student-like.
-Right? -Scary.
Do you have any other good stories?
Let's leak those too
and treat ourselves to a party tonight!
-What are they doing? -Right.
This lot isn't in their right mind.
-This isn't what I wanted! -Oh, no.
Nothing good will happen if we retaliate evil with evil!
Open your eyes!
Shut up!
It's too late to pretend to be a goody-two-shoes.
Am I right?
-Right! -Right!
He wasn't planning to listen at all.
You guys can do it.
You're the very same people who stopped me.
Deliver a message that will resonate with the people of this school
who've gone off the deep end!
A message that resonates with everyone?
A MESSAGE TO EVERYONE
-Like Seinen no Shucho. -Oh, I see.
Using a microphone to declare something in front of the entire school.
So they understand it.
Who's going to go first? They're playing the waiting game.
-Everyone's playing the waiting game. -Who will go first?
Damn it.
-It's Daigo. -There he is.
What is he going to say?
Go for it.
In my case…
Since I started making some money,
I've been able to go to expensive sushi restaurants.
It's true.
Spotted sardines and bluefin tuna…
carefully prepared by a skilled chef are delicious.
But there's something expensive sushi restaurants don't have.
I love salmon!
Is that something to say into a microphone?
I love a slightly seared salmon.
-Seared salmon? -I get it though!
If anything, I want mayonnaise on it too.
That's how children eat it.
That's what he likes.
Wrap it in avocado. It's the best.
-I felt that. -That resonated with me.
Well said.
-Tsukaji. -Tsukaji.
Just up until recently…
we had a 23-year-old female manager in charge of us.
She was a huge fan of the seventh-generation comedians.
That's sad.
One day, backstage,
we started talking about the seventh generation.
I said, "That's what makes so-and-so comedians funny."
She replied, "What? You know about that kind of stuff, Tsukaji?"
That's what she said. And, from that point on…
"Tsukaji…
on the recent Celebrity Soiree,
did you see Seiya from Shimofuri Myojo's sister?"
She said, "They were both so cute, don't you think?"
"Sorry, I didn't see it."
"What?"
Then she told me…
"Tsukaji, did you see Lalande
decided their talent agency on Bonbi Girl the other day?"
"Sorry, I didn't see it."
"What?"
"Tsukaji,
did you hear Kagaya's first performance since they made their comeback
on a radio station in Hiroshima?"
"Sorry, I didn't hear it."
"What?"
I'm…
not an old, comedy freak!
He's her superior, after all.
I'm a comedian!
His manager's looking down at him.
-This had to have resonated. -That would hurt, a bit.
Oh, here comes the master. He'll have something.
-Hey! -Here it comes.
Osechi.
-Osechi? -Osechi?
-Are you listening? -A message to Osechi.
You, Osechi! The one that comes around on New Year's.
Oh, that Osechi.
"Here I am. Osechi."
You appear, so smugly.
You're not as good as you're hyped up to be.
"Happiness"?
"Happiness."
"I wish you a 'beany' new year?"
Oh, you've completely done it now.
You imbecile!
-You said it. -I did.
-It contains a lot of plain foods. -That's true.
It's something we've all faintly thought before.
-It's been around for ages in Japan. -I'm glad you talked about that.
Thanks to what Shogo shared about Osechi,
I have the courage to say what I'm about to say next.
-What is it? -What?
Why are you so expensive?
Why do you get expensive so suddenly,
end-of-year fish paste?
Out of nowhere,
you go from being 200 yen
to 2,500 yen! What's that all about?
I didn't know that.
The ingredients didn't change.
-It's true. -It's fish paste, after all.
What is everyone talking about?
I leave the rest to you lot.
Don't leave it to them.
No, the declarations need to be about the school.
That's true.
Everyone!
My penis is big!
It's been rated one of the best
out of all the comedians in the Kanto region.
Meanwhile, the talent agency I belong to,
recruited a new talent, an American named Ike Nwala from the group "Cho Shinjuku."
When we were backstage together, I challenged him to a contest.
I said, "Let's see who has the bigger dick."
When we pulled it out
at the same time,
it was the exact same size.
-Tanaka's strong. -That's impressive.
I thought, "Yes! I'm the same size as an American."
-Wow. -But apparently,
Ike is small for an American.
Everyone…
America is something else.
-Why is he praising America based on that? -Why was that necessary?
-America is something else. -So impressive.
You just can't beat them.
I guess I have no choice but to say it.
-There he goes. -Hey.
I know my manager's out there listening somewhere.
-Oh, this is for his manager? -For his manager?
I wasn't told that this work was going to be so taxing!
He's voicing what's in his soul.
-He really means it. -Yeah, it's his truth.
Even today…
I've had to film scenes for a drama, which I'm not used to doing,
while thinking of witty one-liners,
and trying to wring out content for these stories.
Honestly, the five people that are here now
don't have any more stories!
So…
This is coming from his soul.
I don't keep running off because I want to smoke,
I'm running off to come up with a story.
Don't say that!
So I'm telling you this now, manager…
He's exhausted.
If I'm paid the same amount as Nobu, I'm going to snap!
Don't say that.
I leave the rest to you lot.
-Thanks. -Thanks.
You said what we all wanted to say.
-He said that on behalf of everyone. -Yeah, he represented them all.
They'll be eliminating two people this time, Karen.
I can't even imagine.
-I can't believe they'll eliminate two. -This is going to be hard.
-What? Did it resonate with them? -What?
-That's what we… -They went down on their knees.
wanted to hear!
It seems like you got what we were trying to convey.
-Oh, no. -Mayumi?
Is your foot okay?
-It's okay. -Right, there was this side story too.
They said it's just a light sprain. Nothing to worry about.
Those voices were you all, right?
Thankfully, it seems like the commotion out there has settled down a bit.
Thank you, Misato.
Everything should be fine now.
Let's go.
We need to get Saiki and ask him
why he wanted to get his hands on that in the first place.
-What a performance. -Let's go.
Who's it going to be?
Who's going to be eliminated?
Oh, no! Here comes a scary-looking guy.
-Who are you? -What's wrong?
-Who are you? -The blade of his knife is so short.
Oh, no! Iio!
It's Iio.
Hey!
Tanaka!
Iio! Tanaka!
That's right.
What was all that nonsense?
I just couldn't forgive the things you two said!
Oh, no! They're going to die.
-Hey! -Are you okay?
Tanaka and Iio have been eliminated.
They're not breathing anymore.
They're dead!
I can't believe…
these two are eliminated now.
I had a bad feeling.
There's no way what they shared would've touched the entire school.
That's true.
If only you didn't pretend to be Shinichi Mori's manager.
Right, the story about the manager.
Damn it!
That stupid manager.
It was the manager and the fish paste.
The fish paste.
Manager Fish Paste.
What the hell?
We should do what's within our power, shouldn't we?
Hold on…
Those two are dying. Hey, call someone!
Call the police, an ambulance, or something.
They can still be saved.
Everyone's just staring at them.
The cover-up of drug use at a private high school in Tokyo
that was exposed today
caused a ripple effect into the political world,
where major scandals have been leaked, one after another.
Multiple incumbents…
-They acted exactly according to plan. -It's Mamiya.
What I need to do is avoid being tracked at all costs.
Saiki's becoming increasingly evil.
All the rotten adults who abuse their power need to disappear.
He's making a bomb or something.
I'm going to create a new country.
What he wants to do is terrible.
This is getting really extensive.
There are even tons of cops too.
What's going on with Daigo?
-It's almost time. -What?
Almost time?
Hey, he got into a police car.
He got in voluntarily.
Please stand back!
Is he a detective?
Just what does this mean?
-I don't get it at all! -So interesting.
Daigo seemed like he was headed somewhere.
There were a lot of factors.
But the main reason is that Tanaka is Shinichi Mori.
-Don't you think that was a bit unfair? -That's the part that did it.
He dragged me into it.
-It flowed nicely. -The manager.
Don't say, "It flowed nicely."
My joke was more legitimate.
Not at all.
What would've been legitimate was you saying, "I'm Shinichi Mori."
That's right.
And the same for Iio too.
It was very funny, but…
I think the fish paste story was a bit weak.
-International audience won't get that. -That's right.
When I said, "I leave the rest to you lot," I meant it wholeheartedly.
-Leave it to the rest. -Yes.
Now, only these three remain.
It reminds me of what it felt like after swimming class in elementary school.
-This is intense. -I could sleep.
I can't keep this up.
You survived!
-Be happy! -I've never been this exhausted!
Subtitle translation by: Rachel Hillcoat