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♪ light guitar music playing ♪
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Come.
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LINDSAY:
I came to New York to be a writer.
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And sure,
some distractions got in the way.
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But I stand before you today
recommitted to my craft.
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If given this incredible opportunity,
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I am confident that I will be
the discreet, tidy, easygoing,
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you'll-never-even-know-I'm-there roommate
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that you've been looking for.
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What do you think, Dave?
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Sure. Yeah.
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Room is yours.
LINDSAY: Really?
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Oh, my God. Great.
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Because I've been staying at the YMCA,
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and I'm not sure
what the song is talking about
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because "fun" is definitely not
the first word that comes to mind.
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Well, I was just telling Dave that, uh,
we need some more female energy here.
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Yeah, I-I'm curious.
How, how did you two meet?
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I was just coming back
from a year abroad, and, uh,
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bumped into Marta
right outside the building.
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Almost like she was waiting for me.
[Marta laughs]
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Almost.
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We started talking and turns out
we had so much in common.
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Like, her favorite books are literally
the same ones I have on my shelf.
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[laughs] That is so crazy.
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It's not that crazy.
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Do you have a boyfriend or?
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Um, no. No, I'm--
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Mm-mm, no.
DAVE: Well, I should warn you,
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the room we have available is very small.
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I mean, it's definitely
not a closet, but--
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I'm sure it's perfect.
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I'm telling ya, it's all smiles
out there at the Christmas party,
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- but we are at Defcon Fucked.
- Damn.
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They're saying hundreds
of clients' personal info leaked.
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No one's seen
a data breach like this before.
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I.T. is shitting itself.
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But it's nothing
compared to what's coming.
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Y2K?
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We're talking four horsemen
of the apocalypse shit.
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Hey, you're welcome to join us
at my parents' place out East.
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That's very generous of you,
but I think I'm good. Thanks.
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Oh, just gonna
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cuddle in with Random Lindsay
for the holidays, huh?
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- Huh?
- Yeah... something like that.
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Sorry, Chris.
No room at the pad for you, I'm afraid.
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Associates and above only.
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Totally get it, fellas.
I, I appreciate you even thinking of me.
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KEVIN: We didn't.
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[laughs] Well, Merry Christmas, gents.
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♪ melancholy music playing ♪
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♪ I don't care... that you're
not here to see the lights ♪
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♪ That we're not making
matching footprints in the snow ♪
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♪ I don't need you here ♪
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♪ To warm my winter nights ♪
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♪ I don't buy into
the myth of mistletoe ♪
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♪ It's important to remember ♪
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♪ That December's just December ♪
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♪ Then it's over
and by New Year's, I'll be fine ♪
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♪ But as flurries swirl midair,
I stop and say a silent prayer ♪
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♪ I hope your Christmas
sucks as much as mine ♪
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♪ I don't know ♪
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♪ If you'd have helped me choose a tree ♪
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♪ Would you let me
make you skate in Central Park ♪
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♪ Either way ♪
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♪ What's meant to be is meant to be ♪
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♪ And the twinkle lights
still come on after dark ♪
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♪ So it's really not so tragic ♪
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♪ You're not here to share the magic ♪
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♪ Though it is a little lonely, I admit ♪
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♪ Still, the silver bells are ringing ♪
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♪ And the carolers are singing ♪
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♪ And I really hope
you also feel like shit ♪
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♪ I don't mind ♪
BOTH: ♪ That I won't buy
that perfect gift ♪
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♪ Based on something
I remembered you once said ♪
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♪ Come to think ♪
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♪ It gives my soul a little lift ♪
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♪ That I won't have to return it ♪
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♪ ‘Cause I never plan ahead ♪
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♪ And as Santa Cons are drinking ♪
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♪ I still wonder what you're thinking ♪
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♪ Are you wishing things
were like they were before ♪
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♪ This Christmas kinda sucks ♪
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♪ Because of you, this Christmas sucks ♪
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[sighs]
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BOTH:
♪ So, I really hope that yours sucks ♪
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♪ More ♪
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[TV playing]
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Ooh, and another thing...
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I'm gonna say it.
It's better without him.
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It's so nice to be alone.
Without her.
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- Definitely quieter.
- And less crazy.
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Don't forget, he kissed
his ex-girlfriend... with his tongue.
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Who leaves their fiancée six days
before a wedding? Psycho.
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You'll find someone else.
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You have to.
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Think of your eggs.
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I'm here. That's all you need.
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- You're so fucking weird with him.
- It's Christmas!
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Do you even care
that I finished my book?
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- Yes!
- Uh, yeah, of course. Book. Good job.
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The Unlikely Adventure
of Squid the Squirrel.
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Y-You told me to send it to you
when I was finished, so.
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I had a feeling about you.
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You, you liked it?
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I did have an illustrator I wanted
to recommend, if you're open.
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His name is Mr. McGooch.
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Stop.
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- Really?!
- The journey of your character:
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is she a squid or a squirrel?
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And then, in the end,
of course, you reveal... she's neither.
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She's... she's complicated,
like the best characters are.
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Yes! See, I, I knew you would get it.
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But... is she also,
maybe, a little... gross?
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Tentacles all over her body.
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She's a monster?
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Oh, well, y-y--
Uh, yes, uh, but-- and no.
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She-- The-- See, she feels like a monster
because she's different, you know?
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But, but I, I think she could be adorable.
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I don't mean to be immodest,
but even with my talent,
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I have no idea how to make
the grotesque mutant
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you have written, in any way, adorable.
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You just said the best characters
were the complicated ones.
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Well, there's complicated
and there's hideous.
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Hideous doesn't sell books.
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Look at The Giving Tree.
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Despicable person.
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Very handsome young man.
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These are the realities.
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Now... what if we forget
about the whole squid business
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and we give our squirrel some freckles
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and a ponytail
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some cute bangs.
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And, um, w-what, what happens
if I don't wanna change it?
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Your prerogative entirely.
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You'll just have to find
another illustrator.
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Think about it.
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- [Lindsay burps]
- Oh.
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I'm so sorry.
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Tell me when you have a decision.
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DICK: Jimenez.
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Oh, Mr. Waltham.
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We need to talk.
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- Is everything okay?
- Sit down.
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We have identified
the source of the data breach.
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It's Kevin.
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Kevin leaked
clients' personal information?
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Not exactly.
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The hackers installed
malware in the bank's system
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via the deluge of pornographic films
Kevin downloaded off of the internet.
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Oh.
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That's, um-- I can't even--
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Kevin is denying everything.
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And if... I'm being honest,
I'm inclined to believe him.
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There's no way that kid is bright enough
to take down a network firewall.
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So...
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is there something you'd like to tell me?
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♪ dissonant music plays ♪
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[fire alarm sounds]
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Oh shit. What the hell is this?
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What did you tell him?
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I didn't say anything.
The fire alarm went off.
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That was me!
I was buying us time.
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He left for the day
for the cattle feed IPO road show.
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Well, now he just wants to meet
with me first thing tomorrow morning.
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He's gonna know it was me, Kevin.
He probably already does.
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I mean, it's true.
You were the one who
took down the firewall.
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Because you and Chad asked me to!
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What, what, what I'm saying is,
no one's hands are clean here.
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Look... Chad is Dick's son.
He's protected no matter what.
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Which leaves you and me.
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I can't go down for this.
I have a family.
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You do?
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Yeah, man. Melissa and the twins?
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You never even mention them.
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Well, why would I?
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The point is,
we could both lose everything here.
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We need a united front.
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Yeah, okay.
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Aside from the three of us,
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who's the only other witness?
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Chris.
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He's not one of us. You know that.
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He biffed the Pringles deal.
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His own lead.
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00:10:29,505 --> 00:10:31,045
He has no future at the bank as it is.
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00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:33,048
Either he loses the job now
or six months from now.
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It doesn't matter.
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It matters to him.
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I thought you had
what it takes for this job.
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- I do.
- Then that settles it.
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♪
193
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Whoa, it's... it's big.
194
00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:08,877
Yeah... it's technically
a junior one-bedroom,
195
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,377
but pretty good size.
196
00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,842
And you're back in the, uh--
197
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Junior one closet?
198
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,220
[sighs] Um,
199
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,761
- I finished my book.
- Wow.
200
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,017
I'd love to read it.
201
00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:24,061
When you're ready to let me.
202
00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:25,389
You really don't have to.
203
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,019
I would like to.
204
00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:37,111
I think I may have
even found a publisher.
205
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:41,991
I mean, they... have notes,
you know, but, uh, a-all publishers do.
206
00:11:41,994 --> 00:11:45,714
- What are the notes?
- Well, they think my
207
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:49,166
main character is sort of... ugly?
208
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:53,921
But it's, it's not a big deal.
And it's a really great opportunity.
209
00:11:54,298 --> 00:11:56,178
Hm... how'd you land that?
210
00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:59,046
Through Ted.
211
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:00,761
McGooch.
212
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:04,392
It would be under his imprint.
[Miguel chuckles]
213
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,061
What a guy.
214
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,849
Right... okay.
215
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:10,403
So, you said you had something for me.
216
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,823
My dad found these in my room.
217
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:21,782
My slippers?
218
00:12:22,326 --> 00:12:25,536
That's why you called me?
Is to give me back my slippers?
219
00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:28,117
Actually, I wanted to get
your advice on something,
220
00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:30,253
but I'm not sure
I really trust your judgment.
221
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,250
Wow.
222
00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:36,717
And here I thought you were calling
to maybe, I don't know, apologize.
223
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:38,375
And what would I be apologizing for?
224
00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:41,553
How about the fact that you
fucking cheated on me, Miguel?!
225
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:42,853
I explained this to you!
[Yogurt barking]
226
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,596
- Fiona came to me--
- Yeah. No, right, sorry.
227
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:46,768
- She kissed you.
- Oh, too bad you were stuck in Vermont
228
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,477
returning your wedding dress
to your fiancée.
229
00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:50,977
Because remember, you were engaged,
230
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:54,269
which you somehow forgot to mention
to me in the five months we were dating.
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00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:57,284
Yeah, I guess it's kind of like
how you forgot to mention to me
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00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:00,697
that you were almost engaged
to the woman that you cheated on me with!
233
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,237
That's a pretty big difference!
[barking, growling]
234
00:13:03,242 --> 00:13:05,082
- Jesus, Yogurt. No! Stop!
- Hey, Yogurt!
235
00:13:05,077 --> 00:13:06,407
Ow, fuck!
236
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,331
Hey, shh.
[barking]
237
00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:11,674
- It's okay... It's okay. You're okay.
- Jesus Christ. No, it's fine. I'm fine.
238
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,877
- I just--
- You're okay, you're okay.
239
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:17,263
You're telling him it's okay?
240
00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:19,046
He's scared.
He doesn't like people yelling.
241
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:20,049
It freaks him out.
242
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,970
He just fucking bit me, Miguel!
243
00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:23,799
- With his teeth.
- Are you okay?
244
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,394
Oh, my God.
245
00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:28,679
You know, I don't know what it is
with you and your fucking psycho dog.
246
00:13:28,684 --> 00:13:31,604
There's nothing with me
and my psycho dog. He's old.
247
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,733
Okay, well, you two deserve each other.
248
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:36,980
Oh, and by the way,
congrats on the apartment.
249
00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:39,074
I hear it has great amenities!
250
00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:40,779
[door opens]
251
00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:42,909
[door closes]
[Yogurt groans]
252
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:47,908
♪ solemn music playing ♪
253
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,756
ORSON: What are you doing?
RENEE: Put that down.
254
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,224
ROSIE: Do not read that.
255
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,604
Hey, listen to me.
256
00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:13,231
Your career is on the line here, okay?
257
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:15,438
Your future is on the line.
258
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,033
We got a young man's life to destroy!
259
00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:21,197
In a good way. Of course. [laughs]
260
00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:24,782
Are you ignoring me?
261
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:26,994
Hey!
262
00:14:26,992 --> 00:14:29,292
Hey, asshole. [laughs]
Listen to me.
263
00:14:30,162 --> 00:14:31,372
I'm your best friend.
264
00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:35,634
[emotional]
I'm your best friend, man.
265
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,711
DICK:
What the hell is going on?
266
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:42,343
I've been waiting 20 minutes.
We said 8:30.
267
00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:46,966
I did it.
268
00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:50,516
All of it.
269
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:05,819
Let me guess,
your dad found more slippers.
270
00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:10,199
I don't know what kind of changes
the publishers are telling you to make,
271
00:15:10,202 --> 00:15:12,832
and it's... it's none of my business,
272
00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:17,665
but don't,
273
00:15:18,252 --> 00:15:19,882
don't change anything.
274
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,797
Everyone tells Squid she's different.
275
00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:26,893
Everyone tells her she doesn't belong.
276
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:30,175
All those voices...
the way they stay with her,
277
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:32,390
floating in her head, following her,
278
00:15:32,391 --> 00:15:35,061
saying "no" to her
in a million different ways,
279
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:37,400
until she... finally
280
00:15:38,689 --> 00:15:40,109
says "no" back.
281
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,438
Whoever told you Squid was ugly,
282
00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:46,486
they don't see what I do.
283
00:15:46,822 --> 00:15:49,412
♪ emotional music playing ♪
284
00:16:14,308 --> 00:16:15,728
[door closes]
285
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,150
Hi.
286
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,145
Thank you so much for coming.
287
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:21,147
I was in the area.
288
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:24,358
My latex wholesaler
is just around the block.
289
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:26,820
For my New Year's suit.
290
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,160
Right.
291
00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:28,985
Um...
292
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,781
so I've made my decision.
293
00:16:32,326 --> 00:16:37,116
And I realize this could be
a life-changing opportunity.
294
00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:38,791
Absolutely.
295
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:41,586
But... the thing is,
296
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:46,092
my life has already changed so much,
297
00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:48,469
which is exactly what I wanted.
298
00:16:48,467 --> 00:16:51,887
I wanted to change
everything about myself.
299
00:16:51,887 --> 00:16:55,557
And I've listened
to so many different people
300
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:58,187
telling me who I should be.
301
00:16:58,185 --> 00:16:59,895
Kinda like... Squid.
302
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:06,149
Yeah, I listened to roommates,
and essayists, and writing teachers,
303
00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:12,031
and marionette puppeteers
slash drug dealers, and... you.
304
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:15,584
And I finally realized
305
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:20,713
I don't wanna be
somebody else... anymore.
306
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:25,955
And I don't want...
Squid to be anybody else either.
307
00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:30,381
[sighs] Maybe she is ugly.
308
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,095
Maybe nobody'll like her.
309
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:36,926
But she is who she is.
310
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,810
I can't change that.
311
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:42,520
Okay.
312
00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:46,939
So, uh... what's the plan?
313
00:17:47,693 --> 00:17:50,703
Pound the pavement?
Cold call publishers?
314
00:17:50,696 --> 00:17:54,116
I guess I'm... betting on me.
315
00:17:56,702 --> 00:17:58,702
How very New York of you.
316
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,877
Happy New Year.
[door closes]
317
00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:09,915
[knocks on door]
JORGE: Hey.
318
00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:13,804
What are you doin'?
Everybody's askin' where you are.
319
00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:18,432
I was tryin' to figure out how much
of my furniture I could fit in here.
320
00:18:19,391 --> 00:18:22,441
I may have to move back in, temporarily.
321
00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:23,646
I, um...
322
00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:26,399
I got fired.
323
00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:29,111
Oh, Mig.
324
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,199
What happened?
325
00:18:34,198 --> 00:18:37,578
Uh, it's... it's complicated.
326
00:18:37,576 --> 00:18:39,786
Um... but
327
00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:42,039
it's fine.
328
00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:43,749
I'm fine.
329
00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:46,036
Which is funny.
330
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:50,093
I've spent my whole life
scared of losing things.
331
00:18:50,088 --> 00:18:54,088
And now, I've lost...
pretty much everything.
332
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,641
My job, Lindsay and--
333
00:18:56,637 --> 00:19:00,517
I-I still don't understand
what happened... with Lindsay.
334
00:19:00,516 --> 00:19:03,386
Everything seemed great and then--
335
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:06,613
It turned out, we didn't know each other
as well as we thought we did.
336
00:19:07,898 --> 00:19:09,398
There were things she didn't tell me.
337
00:19:10,943 --> 00:19:12,443
Things I didn't tell her.
338
00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:14,864
Have you talked at all?
339
00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:18,083
She came over the other night
to get her slippers,
340
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:21,579
and... Yogurt bit her.
341
00:19:22,538 --> 00:19:23,538
I ended up--
342
00:19:24,373 --> 00:19:27,173
I wasn't defending Yogurt, but--
343
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,587
Oh boy.
344
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:33,337
♪ muffled party music playing ♪
345
00:19:39,096 --> 00:19:42,716
There was this day...
a few weeks after Mom died.
346
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,102
I came home from school,
347
00:19:45,102 --> 00:19:49,362
and... you were standing outside
our old house, you remember?
348
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:50,686
We had that red door.
349
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:54,987
And you had this big smile on your face.
350
00:19:54,987 --> 00:19:59,197
I remember you said there was
something incredible... inside,
351
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,909
something that I was gonna love.
352
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:05,083
And for a second, I thought maybe,
353
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,000
maybe it's her
354
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:10,207
behind the door.
355
00:20:12,004 --> 00:20:13,214
Waiting.
356
00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:16,683
Maybe my mom didn't die.
357
00:20:19,178 --> 00:20:24,178
And I opened the door, and...
there was this little puppy
358
00:20:25,434 --> 00:20:27,444
in a cardboard box.
359
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:30,015
And you said,
360
00:20:30,022 --> 00:20:32,692
“Diego already decided
his name is Yogurt.”
361
00:20:36,445 --> 00:20:38,655
I guess he's not just a dog to me.
362
00:20:39,198 --> 00:20:41,068
Did ya tell Lindsay that?
363
00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:45,695
[chuckles] I'm glad I didn't
364
00:20:46,538 --> 00:20:48,168
'cause now she's gone.
365
00:20:50,167 --> 00:20:52,787
You have to... let people in.
366
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:54,630
[scoffs]
367
00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:56,340
Okay. And then, what if--
368
00:20:56,340 --> 00:20:59,340
What if... they leave?
369
00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:01,135
They do.
370
00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:04,387
What if they don't understand?
371
00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:06,058
They don't.
372
00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:08,185
What if they
373
00:21:09,061 --> 00:21:10,271
get sick?
374
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,483
They might.
375
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:18,530
But you can't spend your whole life
locked up in your head.
376
00:21:19,613 --> 00:21:21,623
You have to trust someone.
377
00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,044
I'll see you out there?
378
00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:34,956
[indistinct chatter]
379
00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:37,342
[door closes]
380
00:21:45,514 --> 00:21:47,524
[Lindsay sighs]
381
00:21:53,981 --> 00:21:56,981
♪ light music playing ♪
382
00:22:25,220 --> 00:22:26,970
♪
383
00:22:31,602 --> 00:22:32,812
[chuckling]
384
00:22:44,489 --> 00:22:46,619
[indistinct chatter]
385
00:22:46,617 --> 00:22:48,947
Do you really think
she's gonna be waiting for you?
386
00:22:48,952 --> 00:22:51,962
This is tragic.
He's not going to be there, Linds.
387
00:22:51,955 --> 00:22:55,495
Bro, you should be at your dad's party
grindin' on that chick Isabela.
388
00:22:55,501 --> 00:22:56,921
Don't care if she's your third cousin.
389
00:22:56,919 --> 00:22:58,089
Even for the end of the world,
390
00:22:58,086 --> 00:23:00,796
you're much too puffy
to be seeing anyone else.
391
00:23:01,632 --> 00:23:04,012
BOTH: ♪ In all this crazy world ♪
392
00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:07,849
♪ There's one thing I am certain of ♪
393
00:23:07,846 --> 00:23:13,846
♪ For every hour and month
and year that we are here to love ♪
394
00:23:14,061 --> 00:23:17,151
♪ Regardless of how much ♪
395
00:23:17,147 --> 00:23:20,317
♪ We talk, we tell, we touch ♪
396
00:23:20,317 --> 00:23:25,947
♪ No matter what we suffer through ♪
397
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,450
♪ I can never know you ♪
398
00:23:29,451 --> 00:23:32,871
♪ Can I ever know you ♪
399
00:23:32,871 --> 00:23:35,331
♪ We drive each other crazy ♪
400
00:23:35,332 --> 00:23:38,842
BOTH:
♪ We defend and we attack ♪
401
00:23:38,836 --> 00:23:44,546
♪ But something stronger
always seems to keep us coming back ♪
402
00:23:44,925 --> 00:23:50,925
♪ When you reveal to me
a side I couldn't see ♪
403
00:23:50,931 --> 00:23:56,351
♪ I fall in love with someone new ♪
404
00:23:56,353 --> 00:24:01,983
♪ But can I ever know you ♪
JOAN/TOM: ♪ I can never ♪
405
00:24:01,984 --> 00:24:05,864
♪ Know you ♪
GROUP: ♪ I can never know you ♪
406
00:24:05,863 --> 00:24:08,873
LINDSAY/MIGUEL:
♪ Can I ever know you ♪
407
00:24:08,866 --> 00:24:14,866
GROUP: ♪ I can never know you ♪
OTHERS: ♪ Can I ever know ♪
408
00:24:15,372 --> 00:24:21,382
BOTH: ♪ I want to keep on learning
more and more and more and more ♪
409
00:24:21,378 --> 00:24:27,378
♪ A lifetime's not enough,
but that is what a lifetime's for ♪
410
00:24:27,384 --> 00:24:33,394
♪ For your infinity
feels like it's meant for me ♪
411
00:24:33,390 --> 00:24:38,850
♪ A streaming symphony
I'll always listen to ♪
412
00:24:38,854 --> 00:24:42,444
♪ ‘Cause I can never know you ♪
413
00:24:42,441 --> 00:24:45,441
ORSON/CELESTE:
♪ Can I ever know you ♪
414
00:24:45,444 --> 00:24:48,324
GROUP:
♪ I can never know you ♪
415
00:24:48,322 --> 00:24:50,992
LINDSAY/MIGUEL:
♪ Can I ever know you ♪
416
00:24:50,991 --> 00:24:54,201
♪ Please like me,
I need you to like me ♪
417
00:24:54,203 --> 00:24:57,043
RENEE/LISA/CARRIE:
♪ You don't belong in Manhattan ♪
418
00:24:57,039 --> 00:25:00,499
- ♪ You don't belong in Queens ♪
- ♪ Gee, it's nice to really ♪
419
00:25:00,501 --> 00:25:03,461
- ♪ Know someone ♪
- ♪ It's a sign, it's a sign ♪
420
00:25:03,462 --> 00:25:04,672
♪ You're a tiger ♪
421
00:25:04,671 --> 00:25:08,881
- ♪ Could it be you, could it be you ♪
- ♪ Let me hear you roar ♪
422
00:25:08,884 --> 00:25:11,934
- ♪ Who's my smart, smart,
smart, smart, smart, smart, smart ♪
- ♪ It's a sign ♪
423
00:25:11,929 --> 00:25:14,349
- ♪ You have been called ♪
- ♪ It's a sign ♪
424
00:25:14,348 --> 00:25:16,018
TED:
♪ You've not thought this through ♪
425
00:25:16,016 --> 00:25:18,846
♪ In so many ways ♪
JOAN: ♪ The truth is that ♪
426
00:25:18,852 --> 00:25:21,562
JOAN/TOM:
♪ I can never know you ♪
427
00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:24,903
LINDSAY/MIGUEL:
♪ I feel like I've always known you ♪
428
00:25:24,900 --> 00:25:27,650
CELESTE/ORSON:
♪ I can never know you ♪
429
00:25:27,653 --> 00:25:31,033
♪ I feel like I've always known you ♪
430
00:25:31,031 --> 00:25:33,621
♪ I can never know you ♪
431
00:25:33,617 --> 00:25:36,907
♪ I feel like I've always ♪
432
00:25:36,912 --> 00:25:41,502
BOTH:
♪ Can I ever know you ♪
433
00:25:43,919 --> 00:25:44,999
So quiet.
434
00:25:45,754 --> 00:25:47,384
I was just thinking that.
435
00:25:47,381 --> 00:25:49,381
I have a lot of things to tell you.
436
00:25:50,592 --> 00:25:51,932
So much.
437
00:25:51,927 --> 00:25:54,967
Me too... Oh, but y-you go first.
438
00:25:54,972 --> 00:25:55,812
Well,
439
00:25:56,348 --> 00:25:59,478
maybe not, like, this exact... second.
440
00:26:01,311 --> 00:26:02,731
I love you.
441
00:26:04,815 --> 00:26:05,815
I love you.
442
00:26:08,151 --> 00:26:09,781
Have we said that yet?
443
00:26:10,445 --> 00:26:12,065
I was just thinking that.
444
00:26:12,072 --> 00:26:13,452
- [people cheering]
- I feel like we did.
445
00:26:13,448 --> 00:26:15,328
I'm-I'm pretty sure I said it.
446
00:26:15,325 --> 00:26:17,945
You, you definitely sort of said it.
[people counting down]
447
00:26:17,953 --> 00:26:20,963
[fireworks]
CROWD: Happy New Year!
448
00:26:20,956 --> 00:26:22,576
[cheering]
449
00:26:30,966 --> 00:26:32,796
I guess it's a new millennium.
450
00:26:34,094 --> 00:26:35,724
The world didn't end.
451
00:26:36,847 --> 00:26:38,467
Not yet at least.
452
00:26:44,980 --> 00:26:46,980
♪
453
00:27:01,205 --> 00:27:03,205
♪
454
00:27:10,464 --> 00:27:12,094
- [Lindsay burps]
- Ooh.
455
00:27:12,883 --> 00:27:16,433
Oh, my God.
[laughs] I'm so sorry.
456
00:27:16,428 --> 00:27:20,098
- [laughs] Are you okay?
- [laughs] Yes, I've just been,
457
00:27:20,098 --> 00:27:22,768
I've been having such terrible
heartburn the last few weeks.
458
00:27:22,768 --> 00:27:25,848
And, like, also feeling really nauseous,
459
00:27:25,854 --> 00:27:27,864
but also, starving to death?
460
00:27:29,691 --> 00:27:32,151
What have I always said?
461
00:27:32,152 --> 00:27:36,992
Condoms have an efficacy rate of 98%
until you account for human error.
462
00:27:36,990 --> 00:27:38,200
Oh, my God.
463
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,620
- ROSIE: No, no, no! You're still a baby!
- Oh, my God.
464
00:27:40,619 --> 00:27:43,659
RENEE: You're gonna be the worst dad.
[voices overlapping]
465
00:27:43,664 --> 00:27:45,674
[indistinct chatter]
466
00:27:49,670 --> 00:27:52,300
[group screaming]
467
00:27:55,634 --> 00:27:57,644
♪
468
00:28:21,994 --> 00:28:24,004
♪
469
00:28:50,272 --> 00:28:52,272
♪
470
00:29:29,728 --> 00:29:32,728
[fanfare]