1
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,600
<font color="#ffffff">HE SIGHS</font>

2
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:26,000
<font color="#ffff00">Wow. I only have one or two</font>
<font color="#ffff00">million questions.</font>

3
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,000
<font color="#ffff00">This is Josh, package guy?</font>

4
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,000
<font color="#ffffff">It's not complicated.</font>

5
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:33,280
<font color="#ffffff">We met randomly and I didn't mean</font>
<font color="#ffffff">for us to end up in bed.</font>

6
00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,920
<font color="#ffff00">This is absolutely hilarious.</font>

7
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:40,280
<font color="#ffffff">It only happened because me and Zack</font>
<font color="#ffffff">weren't sleeping together, but...</font>

8
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,280
<font color="#ffffff">..I saw Josh last night.</font>

9
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,480
<font color="#ffffff">We went for a drink and...</font>

10
00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,960
<font color="#ffffff">..it was...it was really nice.</font>

11
00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:53,720
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah. But meanwhile, you and Zack</font>
<font color="#ffff00">have been back in the saddle.</font>

12
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,680
<font color="#ffffff">Just once. And it really helped.</font>

13
00:00:56,680 --> 00:01:00,680
<font color="#ffffff">Like I mean, it made me feel that we</font>
<font color="#ffffff">had a...a future together again.</font>

14
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,160
<font color="#ffffff">Now I have to make a choice.</font>

15
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<font color="#ffff00">Why do you feel like you have to</font>
<font color="#ffff00">make a choice?</font>

16
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<font color="#ffff00">Why can't you have both?</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Are you joking?!</font>

17
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<font color="#ffffff">I'm married.</font><font color="#ffff00"> Fine, have it your way.</font>

18
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,280
<font color="#ffff00">Stay with your boring husband</font>
<font color="#ffff00">and dump the new guy.</font>

19
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<font color="#ffffff">Good chat.</font>

20
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:29,040
<font color="#ffffff">Sorry. I couldn't sleep,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">so I went out to stretch my...</font>

21
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,040
<font color="#00ffff">Hi.</font>

22
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<font color="#00ff00">Look who came by.</font>

23
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,920
<font color="#ffff00">Really sorry to disrupt</font>
<font color="#ffff00">your Saturday.</font>

24
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:45,400
<font color="#ffff00">Erm, Josh, do you want to explain</font>
<font color="#ffff00">why we're here?</font>

25
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,080
<font color="#00ffff">Right. Yeah.</font>

26
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<font color="#00ffff">My, erm, family are coming round</font>
<font color="#00ffff">for lunch, Grandad's birthday,</font>

27
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<font color="#00ffff">and, er, I was just going to do</font>
<font color="#00ffff">a pasta bake, but...</font>

28
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<font color="#ffff00">Too slow. He decided to do</font>
<font color="#ffff00">a roast but the beef,</font>

29
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<font color="#ffff00">the main bit, it wouldn't fit</font>
<font color="#ffff00">in our oven,</font>

30
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<font color="#ffff00">so Zack said we could use yours,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">is that OK?</font>

31
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<font color="#ffffff">Er, yeah, no, yeah, of course.</font>

32
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<font color="#ffffff">We weren't doing anything, were we?</font>

33
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<font color="#00ff00">No, no. It's just a lazy day.</font>

34
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<font color="#00ffff">Well, I still think it</font>
<font color="#00ffff">would've been better</font>

35
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,960
<font color="#00ffff">to ask Mrs Donnelly downstairs.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Mrs Donnelly's only got a microwave.</font>

36
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:12,840
<font color="#ffff00">It's why it smells like that all the</font>
<font color="#ffff00">time, it's the microwaved cat food.</font>

37
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<font color="#00ff00">Do you need to microwave cat food?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I don't think you need to.</font>

38
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,720
<font color="#ffff00">But I bet she does.</font>
<font color="#00ff00">So, what are we looking at here?</font>

39
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<font color="#00ffff">Uh, well, it's...it's a rib.</font>
<font color="#00ff00">What are you thinking spice-wise?</font>

40
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<font color="#00ffff">Ooh, er, like...</font>

41
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<font color="#00ffff">..salt and pepper?</font>
<font color="#00ff00">No, no, no, no, no, no.</font>

42
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<font color="#00ff00">We can do much better than that.</font>

43
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<font color="#00ff00">Follow me downstairs.</font>

44
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<font color="#00ffff">Some, people find it, you know,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">nerve-racking</font>

45
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,440
<font color="#00ffff">being led into their</font>
<font color="#00ffff">neighbour's basement.</font>

46
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<font color="#00ffff">In case of, you know, murder.</font>

47
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,040
<font color="#00ff00">Oh, I wouldn't do it here.</font>

48
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<font color="#00ff00">OK.</font>

49
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<font color="#00ff00">Ah. Here we are. The spice box.</font>

50
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,720
<font color="#00ffff">Oh, yeah. The old spice box.</font>

51
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<font color="#00ff00">Looks like we have a few options.</font>

52
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<font color="#00ffff">Wow.</font>

53
00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,160
<font color="#00ffff">You have got options.</font>

54
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<font color="#ffffff">Don't let me keep you,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">if you have to cook or something.</font>

55
00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,000
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, no, you're all right.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">OK.</font>

56
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:09,960
<font color="#ffff00">I'd kill for a beer, though.</font>

57
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,720
<font color="#ffff00">There's no way I'm going</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to get through one</font>

58
00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,840
<font color="#ffff00">of Josh's family parties sober.</font><font color="#ffffff"> OK.</font>

59
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,640
<font color="#ffffff">Ooh, nothing's cold, I'm afraid.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, I don't care.</font>

60
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<font color="#ffff00">Still alcoholic when it's warm,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">innit?</font>

61
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<font color="#ffffff">It's true.</font>

62
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:24,680
<font color="#ffff00">Erm...</font>

63
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<font color="#ffff00">Cou-...could I ask you a question?</font>

64
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<font color="#ffff00">And please totally tell me</font>
<font color="#ffff00">if I'm being a nosy bitch.</font>

65
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<font color="#ffffff">Ah! OK.</font><font color="#ffff00"> Thanks.</font>

66
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,960
<font color="#ffff00">When Zack proposed...</font>

67
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:39,040
<font color="#ffff00">He did, he did propose to you,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">right?</font><font color="#ffffff"> He did, yeah.</font>

68
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,320
<font color="#ffff00">Did you have to think about it?</font>

69
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,960
<font color="#ffffff">What do you mean?</font><font color="#ffff00"> Were you like,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">"Oh, yes", straight away,</font>

70
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:48,560
<font color="#ffff00">or did you have to take time</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to decide?</font>

71
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,080
<font color="#ffffff">Er...</font>

72
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,320
<font color="#ffffff">Well, there was part</font>
<font color="#ffffff">of my brain that went,</font>

73
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,880
<font color="#ffffff">"Mm, I've known this man</font>
<font color="#ffffff">for six months,</font>

74
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,640
<font color="#ffffff">"I don't even know</font>
<font color="#ffffff">his middle name", erm...</font>

75
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<font color="#ffffff">But, er, that thought</font>
<font color="#ffffff">lasted two seconds,</font>

76
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:04,520
<font color="#ffffff">and then all I could</font>
<font color="#ffffff">really think was,</font>

77
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,480
<font color="#ffffff">I really want to marry him.</font>

78
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<font color="#ffff00">Aw.</font><font color="#ffffff"> He's a really good man.</font>

79
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:12,000
<font color="#ffffff">You and Josh never...?</font>

80
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,800
<font color="#ffffff">Ah, you two are still alive?</font>

81
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,960
<font color="#00ff00">We have been having fun.</font>

82
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,440
<font color="#00ffff">Ah, yep. It turns out rapeseed oil</font>
<font color="#00ffff">is just a fancy name</font>

83
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,840
<font color="#00ffff">for vegetable oil. Who knew?</font>

84
00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:24,000
<font color="#00ff00">What are you doing about</font>
<font color="#00ff00">the potatoes?</font>

85
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,880
<font color="#00ffff">Er...</font>

86
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,680
<font color="#00ffff">..cook them?</font>

87
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,520
<font color="#00ff00">I tell you what. Why don't I give</font>
<font color="#00ff00">you a hand with those?</font>

88
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,080
<font color="#00ff00">Esther, you don't mind</font>
<font color="#00ff00">letting me in?</font><font color="#ffff00"> No, course not.</font>

89
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:34,680
<font color="#00ff00">OK.</font>

90
00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,840
<font color="#00ff00">Give you a chance to get</font>
<font color="#00ff00">to know each other.</font>

91
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:39,440
<font color="#ffff00">Erm, thanks for the beer.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Ah, no worries.</font><font color="#ffff00"> Thank you.</font>

92
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,840
<font color="#ffff00">Well, thanks so much for this.</font>

93
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:53,960
<font color="#ffff00">If you ever want to borrow, like,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">some Ikea plates</font>

94
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,680
<font color="#ffff00">or a broken corkscrew,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">you just say the word.</font>

95
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,360
<font color="#ffffff">Oh.</font><font color="#ffff00"> Hey.</font><font color="#00ffff"> Ahhh.</font>

96
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,440
<font color="#ffffff">Ah, you look a little different</font>
<font color="#ffffff">somehow, Josh.</font>

97
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,840
<font color="#00ffff">It's about time that you upgraded</font>
<font color="#00ffff">from my brother, Esther.</font>

98
00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:05,840
<font color="#ffff00">You guys remember Zack, don't you?</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Of course. Aloha.</font>

99
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:08,200
<font color="#00ffff">So where is my brother?</font>
<font color="#00ff00">Oh, he's in our kitchen.</font>

100
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,160
<font color="#00ff00">We have a bigger oven.</font><font color="#ffff00"> OK.</font>

101
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,640
<font color="#00ffff">Mm.</font><font color="#ffffff"> Mm... Mmm.</font>

102
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,440
<font color="#ffffff">Urgh! Why can't you be worse</font>
<font color="#ffffff">at kissing, Josh?</font>

103
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,680
<font color="#ffffff">You're really making my life</font>
<font color="#ffffff">quite fucking difficult.</font>

104
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:42,360
<font color="#00ffff">All right, I'm sorry.</font><font color="#ffffff"> We're terrible</font>
<font color="#ffffff">people. We're going to hell.</font>

105
00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,400
<font color="#00ffff">It doesn't even feel like this is</font>
<font color="#00ffff">happening to me.</font>

106
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:47,200
<font color="#00ffff">Like, I feel like I'm some absolute</font>
<font color="#00ffff">piece of shit in some French film.</font>

107
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,840
<font color="#00ffff">That I haven't even seen!</font>
<font color="#ffffff">OK, all right.</font>

108
00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:50,360
<font color="#ffffff">We need a system or something.</font>

109
00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:52,280
<font color="#ffffff">If we're going to do this,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">we have to be smart,</font>

110
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,480
<font color="#ffffff">and we have to be considerate</font>
<font color="#ffffff">to Zack and Esther.</font>

111
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,160
<font color="#00ffff">Considerate?</font><font color="#ffffff"> I know but come on.</font>

112
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,640
<font color="#ffffff">DOOR OPENS</font>

113
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,840
<font color="#00ff00">Potatoes...are go.</font>

114
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,400
<font color="#00ff00">Also, Esther wanted me to tell you</font>
<font color="#00ff00">that your sister's arrived.</font>

115
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,080
<font color="#00ffff">Oh, great. Well. Ah,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">really appreciate this, mate.</font>

116
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,000
<font color="#00ffff">Erm, drinks on me at some point.</font>

117
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,240
<font color="#ffffff">Yep. Bye.</font>

118
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,440
<font color="#ffffff">SINGSONG:</font><font color="#00ffff"> Ooh, I am a twat.</font>

119
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:18,640
<font color="#00ffff">A massive, fucking twat.</font>

120
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,520
<font color="#00ff00">Alone at last.</font>

121
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,400
<font color="#ffffff">I am going to go and shower quickly.</font>

122
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,760
<font color="#ffffff">DOOR CLOSES</font>

123
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,000
<font color="#ffffff">SHOWER RUNS</font>

124
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,400
<font color="#ffffff">HE EXHALES</font>

125
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,520
<font color="#ffffff">SHOWER CONTINUES RUNNING</font>

126
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,960
<font color="#ffffff"># Darling, you know how I feel</font>

127
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:24,480
<font color="#ffffff"># Everything's too much</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Everything's too real</font>

128
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:32,800
<font color="#ffffff"># Lord, just know it's hard</font>
<font color="#ffffff">to be alone</font>

129
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:41,000
<font color="#ffffff"># Talking to myself</font>
<font color="#ffffff">and I in my empty home</font>

130
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:52,200
<font color="#ffffff"># I'll show you how, how</font>

131
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:59,080
<font color="#ffffff"># Nothing's going to</font>
<font color="#ffffff">keep me down, yeah. #</font>