You stupid caveman! Whoa...
Hey, Fola, I'm sorry.
Is that your first reaction when you sleep with someone new,
you send them a picture of your dick?
Hey, whoa! I... Hey. The last time I slept with someone new,
I didn't have a camera phone.
That's not the fucking point, Josh.
OK, is the only reason you got me here to yell at me, or...
No.
Well...
..yeah, partly.
I just needed some company.
Oh, Fola, I am so...
I am so sorry.
It was completely out of line.
You didn't have to wear a suit.
No, it wasn't, ah... Never mind.
Ooh, can I have some of that... No.
You're not forgiven yet.
But you can buy me a drink.
Oh.
Get the door.
SHE RINGS DOORBELL
Esther.
Sorry. I wanted to...
What are you doing here?
I live two streets from where I grew up.
I work at the same stupid school that I went to.
No offence.
I've been with Josh since I was 17.
And we...watch TV.
We go to the pub.
I get drunk, probably a bit too much.
And we have sex,
and every time it's just like, in, out, in, out,
and then it's done.
And that's my life.
Esther...
The only thing that shook things up,
it was when you and me hooked up.
No.
Esther, you shouldn't even be here.
Who's your friend?
Fuck. Sorry.
I had a party at the school.
I'll just give the keys.
I'm the wife.
She probably hasn't mentioned that I exist.
No.
Erm... But nothing happened.
Look, Meera, can we just talk about this...
I should probably... Yeah, you should.
Yeah.
SHE SHOUTS: I'm absolutely...
MUFFLED SHOUTING
Can I try and explain myself?
You can try.
I was trying to keep things casual, you know, like we said.
But I'm just not very good at that.
I mean, the last time I flirted with someone,
I ended up going out with them for 11 years.
And counting.
Yeah, and...
I followed some advice from an idiot,
and, you know, you mentioned that you liked my, erm...
Penis? Yeah, that.
That doesn't mean that I want to see a picture of it, Josh.
No, I know. I know.
And I haven't really known if I was coming or going all day,
because...
..I keep thinking about you.
A lot.
Like, all the time.
And, you know, I know that's not an excuse.
I'm... I'm a fucking shithead.
You know, I deserve everything I get, frankly. And you should...
OK, all right, don't blow a blood vessel.
Hi. Erm, G&T and a pint, please.
Erm... And some nuts, chilli ones.
So, erm...
I saw an ex tonight.
I wasn't meant to.
It's been two years.
So that... That's why I asked you to come and get me.
Me and Connor - that's... That's his fucking name.
We used to do this sort of thing.
Er, he would, erm, take pictures of me,
which had better lighting than yours, I should mention.
Yeah, I mean, they were in the loos at work
so it wasn't ideal.
I knew that he was a dirtbag at heart, but we had this...
..thing, you know? This crackle.
Hm.
But it wasn't THE thing, so I broke up with him.
And he took that badly, and he...
Sorry, er...
He...
He sent those pictures,
and a video actually,
to my friends, and my boss
and my parents.
Oh, fuck. Fola, I...
If I'd have known, I'd never have...
Mm.
Yeah, well.
I went freelance,
I mostly stopped seeing my mates.
And some of them took his side, said that I was overreacting.
Seriously?
Yeah.
Then I met Zack.
And he made me feel...
..safe and secure and, erm...
Yeah, well, I didn't...
I haven't told him about any of this.
I felt like I wanted a fresh start.
Now I come to think of it,
it's not really a good reason to marry someone.
There are worse reasons.
At least you didn't marry fucking WikiLeaks Connor.
Oh! Josh, you can't joke about that.
I figured you could take it.
I really like talking to you.
I have a confession.
I stole your parcel.
Aha!
If you wanted a copy of a travel guide to Finland,
you could've asked me.
I wondered where that had got to.
Yeah, well, it's out of date anyway.
So it's not much use.
Erm... I should go inside.
Anything you...
..need?
All right, OK. You should... You should go.
Go on, fuck off.
KEYS RATTLE
PHONE VIBRATES
Oh.
I thought that maybe you were still at the party.
No, I've just been waiting here.
Oh...
Oh.
# Making a toastie, a cheese toastie, yeah!
# Bread and cheese, cheese and bread... #
Oh, fuck.
I'm so, so sorry I had to bail.
You're a shit for leaving me there.
But it's really good, this.
Thank you.
I used that posh cheddar.
Marry me.
Let's get married.
I thought you didn't wa... I didn't.
Now I... Now I do.
I want to marry you.
Marry me.
Please?
MUSIC: Leadlight by Julia Jacklin