1
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<font color="#00ffff">Mmm. What's this?</font><font color="#ffffff"> Pancakes.</font>

2
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<font color="#00ffff">It's very impressive</font>
<font color="#00ffff">for a Friday morning.</font>

3
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<font color="#ffffff">MUSIC: All Your Love Is Gone</font>
<font color="#ffffff">by Boxed In</font>

4
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<font color="#ffffff">Sorry I didn't see you last night,</font>

5
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,720
<font color="#ffffff">you were already asleep</font>
<font color="#ffffff">when I got in.</font>

6
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:37,920
<font color="#ffffff">What did you get up to?</font>

7
00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:42,880
<font color="#00ffff">Just conked out, pretty much.</font>

8
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<font color="#ffffff">MOANS OF PLEASURE</font>

9
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<font color="#00ff00">Oh, hey, guys! Ooop... Hey!</font>

10
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<font color="#00ff00">You off to work?</font><font color="#00ffff"> Oh, no, Zack is.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">I'm just popping to the shops.</font>

11
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<font color="#00ff00">Cool.</font>

12
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<font color="#00ffff">Hi, Josh.</font><font color="#ffff00"> Hi, Zack.</font>

13
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<font color="#00ff00">Well, guess where</font>
<font color="#00ff00">we're going tonight?</font>

14
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<font color="#00ff00">My ten-year school reunion!</font>

15
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<font color="#00ffff">Are you going too, Josh?</font>

16
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<font color="#ffff00">Yep. Moral support.</font>

17
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<font color="#00ff00">I've organised it.</font>
<font color="#00ff00">It's going to be fun.</font>

18
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<font color="#00ffff">Right. Er, off to the shops.</font>

19
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<font color="#ffff00">Ooh, yeah,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I might detour that way, actually.</font>

20
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<font color="#00ffff">Oh. Yeah?</font>

21
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<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, I need, some, um...</font>

22
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<font color="#ffff00">..uh...water.</font>

23
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<font color="#00ff00">Just make sure you're home by six.</font>
<font color="#00ff00">Bye.</font>

24
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<font color="#00ffff">All right. See you later.</font>

25
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<font color="#00ff00">Bye, guys.</font><font color="#ffffff"> See you later.</font>

26
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<font color="#00ffff">I'm just saying,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">if we're going to do this,</font>

27
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<font color="#00ffff">you need to be careful.</font>

28
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<font color="#00ffff">You might as well have come out</font>
<font color="#00ffff">holding a fucking Love Actually sign</font>

29
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<font color="#00ffff">saying,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">"I'm having sex with your wife."</font>

30
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<font color="#ffff00">I didn't think it was that obvious.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">They don't know anything.</font>

31
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<font color="#00ffff">Yeah, well, they don't</font>
<font color="#00ffff">until they do.</font>

32
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<font color="#ffff00">Well, I just...</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I don't know, I wanted to see you.</font>

33
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<font color="#00ffff">OK. Let's get one thing clear.</font>

34
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<font color="#00ffff">This thing, whatever it is,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">it's about sex.</font>

35
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<font color="#00ffff">They don't have any granola...</font>
<font color="#ffff00">They've got porridge.</font>

36
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<font color="#00ffff">Yeah, well, I'm not a horse, Josh,</font>

37
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,840
<font color="#00ffff">I'm not just going to eat oats.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">What was I saying?</font>

38
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<font color="#ffff00">Sex.</font>

39
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<font color="#00ffff">Right. OK, so, um...</font>
<font color="#00ffff">I don't want to hear about your day,</font>

40
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<font color="#00ffff">I don't want to braid your hair</font>
<font color="#00ffff">and talk about feelings.</font>

41
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<font color="#ffff00">Yeah. No, me too. Yeah, all of that.</font>

42
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,960
<font color="#ffff00">I hate 'em. Urgh!</font>

43
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<font color="#ffff00">Feelings are the worst.</font>

44
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<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, but, yeah.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Let's just use each other for sex.</font>

45
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<font color="#00ffff">No, I don't mean...</font>

46
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:49,600
<font color="#00ffff">Just...</font>

47
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<font color="#00ffff">You know, let's keep it...</font>

48
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,920
<font color="#00ffff">..light and breezy.</font>

49
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<font color="#ffff00">Light and breezy.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, I can do that. Easy peasy.</font>

50
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<font color="#ffff00">What are you doing later?</font>

51
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<font color="#ffffff">CHUCKLES</font>

52
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<font color="#00ff00">Well done, guys.</font>

53
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,320
<font color="#00ff00">You're doing great.</font>

54
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<font color="#00ff00">Excellent efforts.</font>

55
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<font color="#ffffff">CHILD SCREAMS</font>

56
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<font color="#00ff00">Oh, shit.</font>

57
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<font color="#00ff00">You... Ooh, you all right?</font>

58
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<font color="#ffff00">Yeah.</font><font color="#00ff00"> Yeah...?</font>

59
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<font color="#00ff00">Yeah. He's fine.</font>

60
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<font color="#ffffff">BLOWS WHISTLE</font>

61
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<font color="#00ff00">He's fine.</font>

62
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<font color="#ffffff">VIDEO: It's in places like this,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">motorway lay-bys,</font>

63
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<font color="#ffffff">or sometimes even rural fields,</font>

64
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,600
<font color="#ffffff">that doggers meet to watch</font>
<font color="#ffffff">sexual intercourse and masturbate.</font>

65
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,560
<font color="#ffffff">Sometimes other people join in.</font>

66
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:17,880
<font color="#ffffff">But it's mainly about watching those</font>
<font color="#ffffff">having sex.</font>

67
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<font color="#ffffff">KNOCKING</font>

68
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,080
<font color="#00ffff">Er, come in!</font>

69
00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:24,240
<font color="#ffff00">Boss, just so you can sign</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Darren's leaving card.</font>

70
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:25,800
<font color="#00ffff">Yes, great.</font>

71
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,680
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah, thank you.</font><font color="#ffff00"> Mm-hm.</font>

72
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,320
<font color="#ffffff">WHISPERS:</font><font color="#ffff00"> Oh, my God!</font>

73
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,440
<font color="#00ffff">What time did you say the band was</font>
<font color="#00ffff">coming in?</font><font color="#ffff00"> 4.30.</font>

74
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:40,960
<font color="#00ffff">And no-one's in before that?</font><font color="#ffff00"> No.</font>

75
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<font color="#00ffff">Cool. And</font>
<font color="#00ffff">you're going out to lunch, yeah?</font>

76
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:49,240
<font color="#ffff00">OK. Now, I'm concerned that you're</font>
<font color="#ffff00">asking in that level of detail.</font>

77
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,440
<font color="#00ffff">Are you writing a text?</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Been there, man.</font>

78
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,360
<font color="#ffff00">What are you doing?</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Trying to keep it casual?</font>

79
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,920
<font color="#ffff00">Don't read...</font><font color="#00ffff"> I find the best way</font>
<font color="#00ffff">to do it is making sure</font>

80
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,880
<font color="#00ffff">the conversation's</font>
<font color="#00ffff">always focused on sex.</font>

81
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,080
<font color="#ffff00">Have you even had sex?</font>

82
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,520
<font color="#00ffff">Course, man. With four people,</font>

83
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,840
<font color="#00ffff">and hands and finger stuff</font>
<font color="#00ffff">with, like, three others.</font>

84
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:18,040
<font color="#00ffff">What you should do is, like,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">send sexy texts,</font>

85
00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:21,000
<font color="#00ffff">and photos and stuff, you know?</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Like a dick pic.</font>

86
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:24,480
<font color="#ffff00">Paul? Please do some work.</font>

87
00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:27,120
<font color="#00ffff">Now that I've helped...</font><font color="#ffff00"> You haven't.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Can I use the studio later?</font>

88
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:28,280
<font color="#ffff00">Absolutely not.</font>

89
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,040
<font color="#00ff00">Oh! Hi.</font>

90
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:39,320
<font color="#ffffff">Oooh! Wow. God!</font>

91
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,200
<font color="#ffffff">How many people</font>
<font color="#ffffff">have you got coming to this?</font>

92
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,160
<font color="#00ff00">Erm, well, 60 said they were coming</font>
<font color="#00ff00">on Facebook</font>

93
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,800
<font color="#00ff00">but I just...I just</font>
<font color="#00ff00">put everyone down just in case.</font><font color="#ffffff"> 60?</font>

94
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,960
<font color="#00ff00">Don't worry. I did a health</font>
<font color="#00ff00">and safety thing and everything.</font>

95
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,400
<font color="#ffffff">A health and safety thing?</font>

96
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:59,200
<font color="#00ff00">Erm... You should...</font>
<font color="#00ff00">you should drop by. If you want.</font>

97
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:02,360
<font color="#00ffff">Isn't Josh coming to this</font>
<font color="#00ffff">with you tonight?</font>

98
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:06,360
<font color="#00ff00">Ah. Yeah. Fair point.</font>

99
00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:09,760
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah. Well, um...</font>

100
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,480
<font color="#00ffff">..have fun.</font>

101
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,720
<font color="#ffffff">SIGHS DEEPLY</font>

102
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:36,160
<font color="#ffffff">UNBUCKLES BELT</font>

103
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,160
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, my...</font>

104
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:02,760
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, God.</font>

105
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:04,520
<font color="#ffffff">PHONE BUZZES</font>

106
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,160
<font color="#ffffff">SLAMS PHONE ON TABLE</font>

107
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,480
<font color="#ffffff">LAUGHTER, DANCE MUSIC</font>

108
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,440
<font color="#ffffff">WHISTLING</font>

109
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,440
<font color="#00ffff">Hey. Hey! Listen up, everyone.</font>

110
00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:23,840
<font color="#00ffff">I would like to take a moment</font>

111
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,320
<font color="#00ffff">before anyone gets,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">well...too smashed,</font>

112
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:29,040
<font color="#00ffff">to pay tribute to Darren.</font>

113
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:30,960
<font color="#ffffff">CHEERING</font>

114
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,880
<font color="#00ffff">Look, I am very sad to say that</font>

115
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,360
<font color="#00ffff">Darren will be moving on,</font>

116
00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:39,240
<font color="#00ffff">to a terrific opportunity</font>
<font color="#00ffff">at...Spotify.</font>

117
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:42,600
<font color="#00ffff">So, uh, we're going to miss him,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">you know.</font>

118
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:46,080
<font color="#00ffff">He's Darren, he's been with us</font>
<font color="#00ffff">since the beginning.</font>

119
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:47,720
<font color="#00ffff">Um...</font>

120
00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,600
<font color="#00ffff">When there were just five of us.</font>

121
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,480
<font color="#00ffff">The five musketeers.</font>

122
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:54,360
<font color="#00ffff">That's...that's what we were.</font>

123
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:55,840
<font color="#00ffff">Um...uh...</font>

124
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,680
<font color="#00ffff">Sorry.</font>

125
00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,120
<font color="#00ffff">Darren... Darren.</font>

126
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:00,880
<font color="#00ffff">Anyway! To Darren!</font>

127
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,280
<font color="#ffffff">CHEERING</font>

128
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:10,120
<font color="#ffffff">RAPS:</font><font color="#00ff00"> # Brexit, Syria,</font>
<font color="#00ff00">give the government a bone</font>

129
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,480
<font color="#00ff00"># We're all in the gutter</font>
<font color="#00ff00">but we're looking at our phones</font>

130
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,160
<font color="#00ff00"># Liking, retweeting</font>
<font color="#00ff00">checking our WhatsApp</font>

131
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,960
<font color="#00ff00"># Is it a real connection though</font>
<font color="#00ff00">or is it just crap? #</font>

132
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,400
<font color="#ffff00">Paul, what is this?</font>

133
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,880
<font color="#00ffff">This is Henry. He's great, right?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I said you couldn't do this.</font>

134
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:24,520
<font color="#00ffff">I thought that was</font>
<font color="#00ffff">a test of my maturity.</font>

135
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:26,320
<font color="#ffff00">I swear to God,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">this is the last straw.</font>

136
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,120
<font color="#00ffff">Can we have five minutes</font>
<font color="#00ffff">to finish up?</font><font color="#ffff00"> Paul!</font>

137
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,720
<font color="#00ffff">Please, man!</font>
<font color="#00ffff">It means I'm learning the equipment,</font>

138
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:32,960
<font color="#00ffff">so I can be more useful to you,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">right?</font><font color="#00ff00"> Please? Please,</font>

139
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,800
<font color="#00ff00">Paul says you're the best boss</font>
<font color="#00ff00">he's ever had.</font>

140
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,400
<font color="#ffff00">I'm the only boss he's ever had.</font>
<font color="#00ff00">He looks up to you like a brother.</font>

141
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,200
<font color="#00ffff">Or an uncle.</font>

142
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,200
<font color="#ffffff">PHONE BUZZES</font>

143
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,880
<font color="#00ffff">Whoa, man!</font>
<font color="#00ffff">That was like a cowboy or something!</font>