This programme contains strong language and some scenes of a sexual nature
Ugh, God, we've had such a day.
Let's get a little bit pissed. Oh, yeah. No, about that...
Oh, don't act like it's the end of the world.
The new neighbours invited us to their house-warming.
I thought it would be a laugh.
Yeah, well, they're not your new neighbours
so you don't have to come. It's fine by me.
Other people's booze tastes better anyway.
You all right, pal?
Don't really look in the party mood. Mm, I'm fine.
Yeah? Cheers.
Cool.
SOFT LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYS
Oh, OK.
Wow.
Everyone's so smug.
It's like a podcast came to life.
Hey! Neighbours. Aloha. You... You made it.
Bloody hell, this is all right!
Hi. I... I'm Nina.
Hi, I'm Josh's sister and this is my wife, Georgia.
Hi. Lovely party, lovely place.
Oh, thanks.
Much nicer than yours, Josh, mate.
Rude.
It's not nicer, it's just bigger.
And nicer.
Can we, erm, drop our coats somewhere?
Erm, Fola, maybe you can, like, show me where to go? Yeah?
Yeah.
Fola, what the fuck?!
Don't do that in the middle of the...
I thought we were meant to be ignoring each other
and then you come bounding out your house trying to be friends!
Zack wanted to meet the neighbours.
I am trying to rebuild my relationship,
which is in a fucking fragile state at the moment,
and it doesn't help being invited around for tea, you know?
Maybe you'll be less stressed if you put the coats down.
Yeah.
So, erm...
..this is where the magic happens?
Something like that.
SOFT KNOCKING
I should get that.
HE SCOFFS
WHISPERING: Fuck...
Oh, hey, man. Hey!
Sorry, just sneaking away to use the bathroom.
Oh, don't apologise, mate.
It's, erm... It's your house.
THEY CHUCKLE
Well, hey, Hakuna Matata.
Yeah. Yeah.
Nina?
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
Do you want to pop outside for a cig?
I gave up, and you don't smoke.
Well, it's never a bad time to start.
It's literally always a bad time.
Take a hint.
What a weird party.
Is that American guy a real person?
Do you actually have a cig? Cos I'm gasping.
No, obviously not. I...
Well, come on, then. What's wrong?
I haven't seen you this stressed out since Mum found your wanking sock
and you told her that snails had crawled on it.
Why are you bringing that up? I...
Are you leaving Esther?
No, why would I be leaving Esther? I mean...
Because she cheated on you? OK, you don't...
You don't have to put it like that. Well, she did.
You said that she had sex with a woman that she works with.
So, there's no point sugar-coating it, is there?
I'm not leaving her. I...
In Finland...
..I slept with someone else.
Oh, Josh.
Oh. Do you want one?
No. I'm, erm, good.
Do you think people are having a good time?
Yeah. Looks like it.
Come here.
Oh, my God, the last episode. I just, I couldn't stop crying.
Nah, it was too boring for me.
What's that?
Yeah, me and Josh love violence.
We've been tearing through that Scandi crime show
Tristdetektiv - Sad Detective.
Sad Detective? Fola has just been to where they filmed it.
No way! Josh literally just got back from there.
Maybe you were there at the same time?
Mm! Yeah, that's so weird.
So, how come?
I'm a travel writer.
Wow. Oh, my God, you must have the most exciting life.
Yeah.
What has gotten into the two of you?
You've been together what, 15 years?
11. 11 years!
That's like...that's like five Spider-Men ago.
Well, it's three, if you're not counting the animated one.
I don't care.
Why are you getting itchy feet now?
It's not itchy feet. Esther's...
She's been really out of sorts recently.
I think she's just freaking out about turning 30.
That's in two years. Yeah, I don't know.
It definitely sounds like itchy feet to me.
And, I mean, really, I can't blame you.
I can count the number of people you've both slept with
on the fingers of one hand.
That's not true.
OK, no, it's more complicated than that.
So when are you going to tell Esther?
What do you mean?
That's not a complicated question.
I'm not going to tell her!
No, doing it has just...
It's made me realise how much I don't want to lose her.
Also, there is one more thing. Erm...
It was Fola.
The person I slept with.
SHE LAUGHS
You had sex with the woman across the road?
I didn't know she lived across the road. I didn't know her.
OK, OK. But what the fuck are you doing at her house-warming?
Shall we go home? I think we should go home.
So he gets to the cabin the woods, he finds another body,
that doctor that went missing and his whole back's been, like,
cut open and you can see everything, and then... And then, right,
Inspector Hakkinen finds out that the killer was putting
real spinal cords inside the snowmen.
Hey. I-I'm sorry. I think we might make a go.
Erm, make a move. I'll get the coats.
Oh, but we're having fun.
Oh, I get it.
Josh finds it hard to go to the loo in other people's houses...
Oh, that's not true.
Erm, I-I... I'm going to get the coats.
Unbelievable.
Oh, well. Thank you. Bye.
We should probably go as well.
OK.
THEY CHUCKLE
You had fun, right? Mm.
Well, it's a shame none of your friends could come.
Yeah, well, you know? Busy people.
Hey, why don't we make more of a mess before we clean up?
Oh...
Actually, the party kind of... kind of took it out of me.
GLASS CLINKS
I might, erm, finish tidying up and, erm, hit the hay.
Sure.
Yeah.
Erm, by the way, Josh...
Erm, it is Josh - across the road?
Yeah.
Yeah, erm, well, it looks like he left his wallet here.
Yeah. He's probably stressing about it.
I should go and see if they're still up.
Sure.
Are we ever going to talk about the fact that
we've not had sex in nearly a year?
I don't think it's been that long, has it?
DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS
DOORBELL RINGS
I told Zack you dropped your wallet when you were over.
Oh, no, I didn't. I have my wallet.
I know.
UPSTAIRS: Who is it?
It's Fola, from across the road.
She's just heading back over.
Oh, thanks for a lovely party, Fola!
MUSIC: Not Alone by KOLARS
DOOR OPENS
What did she want?
I left my wallet and she was just giving it back.
Let's not watch Sad Detective tonight.
DOOR SHUTS
# There's a tide on the rise if you like it enough... #
I'll see you upstairs. Be right up.
# Of a world uncurled sneaking out from the dark
# The shadow towers over, we discovered the spark
# Which level do you live in the pyramid game?
# Bought your throne, do they own your name?
# It's like the same old story you read in the book
# But the words got twisted by the mind of a crook
# You know
# We are not alone
# Change on the loose
# Moves aside from the rut
# A card is on the table
# Now your number is up
# You're gonna be the one to just shut up
# Or will you speak your mind before they poison my cup?
# You know
# We are not alone
# And you know. #