1
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:28,640
<font color="#ffff00ff">Oh.</font>

2
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:31,800
<font color="#ffffffff">Really?</font>

3
00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:36,160
<font color="#ffff00ff">Sorry. I'm really sorry.</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">No, I didn't mean to do that.</font>

4
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,200
<font color="#ffffffff">But it always snows in Finland.</font>

5
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:41,600
<font color="#00ffffff">It is the wrong kind of snow.</font>

6
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,440
<font color="#ffffffff">Well, how can you not be</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">prepared for that?</font>

7
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:45,320
<font color="#ffffffff">No wonder everyone kills</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">themselves here.</font>

8
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,040
<font color="#00ffffff">Actually, that is a common</font>
<font color="#00ffffff">misconception about Finland.</font>

9
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,280
<font color="#00ffffff">Our suicide rate...</font>

10
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,280
<font color="#ffffffff">I know, Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">I was just making a joke.</font>

11
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,560
<font color="#ffff00ff">Hey.</font><font color="#ffffffff"> And I know Girl With</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">The Dragon Tattoo is Swedish</font>

12
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:57,040
<font color="#ffffffff">so you don't need to...</font><font color="#ffff00ff"> Hey, hey,</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">hey. There's no need to be rude.</font>

13
00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,480
<font color="#ffff00ff">It's not her fault it's snowing,</font>

14
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,080
<font color="#ffff00ff">yeah, there's no need to be</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">a dick about it.</font>

15
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,920
<font color="#ffffffff">Do I know you?</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">I wasn't being a dick.</font>

16
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,760
<font color="#ffffffff">I said that she looks like</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">Rooney Mara. That's a compliment.</font>

17
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:07,720
<font color="#ffff00ff">OK, well, look,</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">I've worked jobs like this.</font>

18
00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,000
<font color="#ffffffff">Oh. Oh, good. Oh, good.</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">Cos I really wanted the input of</font>

19
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:12,080
<font color="#ffffffff">a random man who had a job once.</font>

20
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,360
<font color="#ffff00ff">Oh, can I...? Yeah, thanks.</font>

21
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,200
<font color="#ffffffff">What?</font>

22
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,560
<font color="#ffff00ff">Peace offering.</font>

23
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:38,600
<font color="#ffffffff">G&T, please.</font>

24
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:46,280
<font color="#ffff00ff">I'm sorry about earlier.</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">I shouldn't have butted in.</font>

25
00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:48,400
<font color="#ffff00ff">I'm not very good around conflict.</font>

26
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,800
<font color="#ffff00ff">Even if it's none of my business,</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">I end up trying to fix it.</font>

27
00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,560
<font color="#ffffffff">It's fine. I don't need</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">your life story. Thanks.</font>

28
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,600
<font color="#ffff00ff">So what brings you to Finland?</font>

29
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:09,120
<font color="#ffffffff">Work.</font><font color="#ffff00ff"> Ah, nice. Yeah, nice.</font>

30
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,640
<font color="#ffff00ff">I'm on a sort of like</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">spur-of-the-moment type thing.</font>

31
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,080
<font color="#ffffffff">Right.</font>

32
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:20,000
<font color="#ffffffff">I was mostly in the countryside.</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">I'm writing a piece.</font>

33
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,880
<font color="#ffffffff">Erm, do you know Tristdetektiv?</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">Sad Detective?</font>

34
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:24,400
<font color="#ffff00ff">The murder-y show? Yeah, we're...</font>

35
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,320
<font color="#ffff00ff">Erm, yeah, I'm watching that</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">at the moment.</font>

36
00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,520
<font color="#ffffffff">Yeah, well, I'm writing a piece</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">about how you can visit</font>

37
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,680
<font color="#ffffffff">all the murder sites from the</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">series.</font>

38
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,200
<font color="#ffff00ff">But isn't that set in Lapland?</font>

39
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:35,640
<font color="#ffffffff">This is Lapland.</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">No, this is Fin-land.</font>

40
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,480
<font color="#ffffffff">Lapland is in Finland.</font>

41
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:44,760
<font color="#ffff00ff">Hold on, so you're telling me,</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">I've been in the land of reindeer</font>

42
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,240
<font color="#ffff00ff">and Father Christmas all week,</font>

43
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,280
<font color="#ffff00ff">and I've sat in</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">a bar drinking 15 Euro beers?</font>

44
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:52,400
<font color="#ffffffff">Well, next time, you should ask me</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">for some tips because</font>

45
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,160
<font color="#ffffffff">I wrote a few things in</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">the Lonely Planet guide, actually.</font>

46
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,400
<font color="#ffff00ff">Cool. Yeah, cool.</font>

47
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,120
<font color="#ffff00ff">I have a confession to make.</font>

48
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,640
<font color="#ffff00ff">I didn't come here spontaneously.</font>

49
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:10,120
<font color="#ffffffff">Yeah, you weren't very convincing</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">when you said you had, to be honest.</font>

50
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,160
<font color="#ffff00ff">My...girlfriend cheated on me.</font>

51
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:18,640
<font color="#ffff00ff">We've been together for 11 years</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">and last week she told me she slept</font>

52
00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,520
<font color="#ffff00ff">with one of her colleagues.</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">It was a woman, actually.</font>

53
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,360
<font color="#ffff00ff">Not that it matters,</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">that it was a woman.</font>

54
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,000
<font color="#ffff00ff">Like, she had her reasons,</font>

55
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,400
<font color="#ffff00ff">I understand that, but...</font>

56
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:30,760
<font color="#ffff00ff">..it really hurt.</font>

57
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,640
<font color="#ffffffff">Excuse me.</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">Can we get some shots, please?</font>

58
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,800
<font color="#ffff00ff">No, no, no.</font><font color="#ffffffff"> Yes. We're doing it.</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">Yes.</font><font color="#ffffffff"> Yes!</font>

59
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,480
<font color="#ffffffff">MOANING</font>

60
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,880
<font color="#ffffffff">Ugh. Fucking Aquavit.</font>

61
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:55,480
<font color="#ffffffff">It was marginally less shit</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">spending the evening</font>

62
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,600
<font color="#ffffffff">with you than I thought it would be.</font>

63
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,520
<font color="#ffffffff">PHONE BUZZES</font>

64
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,120
<font color="#ffffffff">Oh, God.</font>

65
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:42,480
<font color="#ffffffff">Fucking Aquavit.</font>

66
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,560
<font color="#ffffffff">We've got to get going.</font>

67
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,280
<font color="#ffffffff">Are you all right?</font>

68
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,760
<font color="#ffff00ff">Hm? Yeah. Sorry. I just...</font>

69
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:57,120
<font color="#ffff00ff">I've never really done</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">this before. Cheating.</font>

70
00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:58,920
<font color="#ffff00ff">On Est...erm, my girlfriend.</font>

71
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,680
<font color="#ffff00ff">Esther. Her name's Esther.</font>

72
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,680
<font color="#ffffffff">She cheated on you, right?</font>

73
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,800
<font color="#ffff00ff">She did. Erm, but,</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">yeah, I don't know. Just...</font>

74
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:14,440
<font color="#ffff00ff">This does not feel great...</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">in the light of day. No offence.</font>

75
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,400
<font color="#ffffffff">Well, if it makes you feel</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">any better,</font>

76
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:18,800
<font color="#ffffffff">I'm married.</font>

77
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,240
<font color="#ffff00ff">What? How's that going to</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">make me feel better?</font>

78
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,720
<font color="#ffff00ff">Why didn't you say anything?</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">It never came up.</font>

79
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:28,200
<font color="#ffff00ff">I 100% would have not done</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">anything if I knew you were...</font>

80
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,560
<font color="#ffffffff">Oh, please.</font>

81
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,880
<font color="#ffffffff">Coming from the guy in</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">an 11-year relationship.</font>

82
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:34,840
<font color="#ffff00ff">Fuck.</font>

83
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,080
<font color="#ffff00ff">I can't believe this.</font>

84
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,840
<font color="#ffff00ff">I mean,</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">do you even have a wedding ring?</font>

85
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,240
<font color="#ffffffff">It was on my finger,</font>

86
00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:44,600
<font color="#ffffffff">which was literally around your</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">cock. How did you not notice that?</font>

87
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:47,720
<font color="#ffffffff">Look, I'm sorry for</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">tempting you away</font>

88
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,560
<font color="#ffffffff">from your perfect relationship.</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">No, that's not what I'm saying.</font>

89
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:51,880
<font color="#ffffffff">Oh, just stop talking.</font>

90
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,200
<font color="#ffffffff">I need to find whatever</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">the fuck Nurofen is in Finnish.</font>

91
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,560
<font color="#ffffffff">Well, go on, check in. Fuck off.</font>

92
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,920
<font color="#ffff00ff">That's fine by me.</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">Have a great life.</font>

93
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,120
<font color="#ffff00ff">Thank you.</font>

94
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,800
<font color="#ffffffff">BABY CRIES</font>

95
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,080
<font color="#ffffffff">CRYING INTENSIFIES</font>

96
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,880
<font color="#ffff00ff">Hey. Fola.</font>

97
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:40,200
<font color="#ffff00ff">Fola. Hey. Good flight?</font>

98
00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,080
<font color="#ffffffff">Ah, I threw up twice in the loos.</font>

99
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:46,480
<font color="#ffff00ff">Oh, I...I just didn't want to leave</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">things like we did earlier.</font>

100
00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:50,840
<font color="#ffff00ff">You know, I'm...I'm angry at myself,</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">not at you, so...</font>

101
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:54,560
<font color="#ffffffff">Listen, we got drunk,</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">we did something stupid.</font>

102
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,720
<font color="#ffffffff">It's not like it's the end of</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">the world.</font>

103
00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,400
<font color="#ffffffff">Believe it or not,</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">I'm very happy in my marriage.</font>

104
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:03,080
<font color="#ffff00ff">Yeah. Yeah, me too.</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">Very happy in my relationship.</font>

105
00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:11,640
<font color="#ffffffff">OK, erm, should we...swap numbers?</font>

106
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,760
<font color="#ffffffff">You know, in case you</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">got me pregnant, or something.</font>

107
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:18,680
<font color="#ffff00ff">I wore a condom.</font>

108
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,800
<font color="#ffffffff">I'm on the pill.</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">I'm messing with you.</font>

109
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:27,200
<font color="#ffff00ff">Oh, my... That is not funny at all.</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">Ooh. God. I think my heart stopped.</font>

110
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,440
<font color="#ffffffff">OK, no numbers.</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">Erm, so, I'll be off, then.</font>

111
00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:34,760
<font color="#ffff00ff">Well, erm... Do we hug or..?</font>

112
00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:38,640
<font color="#ffffffff">Why not?</font>

113
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:49,880
<font color="#ffffffff">BABY CRIES</font>

114
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:16,400
<font color="#ffff00ff">Thank you.</font>

115
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:43,560
<font color="#ffffffff">What the fuck are you</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">doing here? Are you stalking me?</font>

116
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,640
<font color="#ffff00ff">What are you doing here?</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">I live here.</font><font color="#ffff00ff"> Where?</font><font color="#ffffffff"> Here. There.</font>

117
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:52,560
<font color="#ffff00ff">I live there.</font>

118
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,440
<font color="#ffffffff">There, like across the road from me?</font>

119
00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:00,320
<font color="#ffffffff">OK, yeah, well, you'll have to move.</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">We've just bought this place.</font>

120
00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,880
<font color="#ffff00ff">I'm not going to move.</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">I've lived here for eight years.</font>

121
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,080
<font color="#ffff00ff">OK, look, look, look. It'll be fine.</font>

122
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,520
<font color="#ffff00ff">It'll be fine.</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">We'll just ignore each other.</font>

123
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:10,800
<font color="#ffff00ff">No-one knows their neighbours</font>
<font color="#ffff00ff">now anyway.</font>

124
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:19,360
<font color="#ffff00ff">Yeah, listen...</font>

125
00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:31,440
<font color="#ffffffff"># Here's the thing</font>

126
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,440
<font color="#ffffffff"># If you smile enough then</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">everybody smiles</font>

127
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:34,720
<font color="#ffffffff"># Here's the thing</font>

128
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:36,600
<font color="#ffffffff"># if you work a little harder</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">you'll get by</font>

129
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:37,680
<font color="#ffffffff"># Here's the thing</font>

130
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,520
<font color="#ffffffff"># Or you can trust a man who wears</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">a suit and tie</font>

131
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:41,440
<font color="#ffffffff"># It's all just</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">lies, lies, lies, lies</font>

132
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:42,480
<font color="#ffffffff"># Here's the thing</font>

133
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,160
<font color="#ffffffff"># If your parents worked to earn it</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">then it's yours</font>

134
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,440
<font color="#ffffffff"># Here's the thing</font>

135
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,440
<font color="#ffffffff"># If you're barely getting by</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">then that's your fault</font>

136
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:48,680
<font color="#ffffffff"># Here's the thing</font>

137
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,640
<font color="#ffffffff"># Everything in life is fair</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">and that's the rules</font>

138
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:53,000
<font color="#ffffffff"># It's all just</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">lies, lies, lies, lies</font>

139
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,480
<font color="#ffffffff"># If you just close your eyes</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">then everything's all right</font>

140
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:56,960
<font color="#ffffffff"># If you just close your eyes</font>

141
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,480
<font color="#ffffffff"># Then everything's all right</font>

142
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,760
<font color="#ffffffff"># Hey, Ma, I wrote a song</font>
<font color="#ffffffff">now everything's all right... #</font>