1
00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:03,712
[Grace] Happy first day, Santa.
2
00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:06,047
Mom would be so proud of you.
3
00:00:06,047 --> 00:00:08,883
I brought you something called
"brewed jelly bean juice."
4
00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:11,219
Thank you, sweetie. Ooh. [sniffs] Mmm.
5
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:12,971
Mm-hmm.
6
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:14,848
That's very good.
7
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:16,933
You know I'm gonna need it.
8
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:19,728
After the whole EverythingNow!
delivery debacle,
9
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,354
I just can't afford to mess this up.
10
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:23,231
- You won't, Dad.
- Well, this is it.
11
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:26,901
This is the day that I put on the coat
and gain all that weight
12
00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:29,070
and become Santa to all those elves.
13
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,657
I need to let them know
that everything's under control.
14
00:00:32,657 --> 00:00:34,909
That nothing will escape me.
15
00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:37,245
Where's the Santa coat?
16
00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:38,913
Where's the coat?
17
00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:40,248
[gasps]
18
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,917
[Grace] Maybe it's in the drawer.
19
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:49,007
[panting]
20
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,806
Okay! That's good.
We'll, uh, we'll ransack the place
21
00:00:56,806 --> 00:01:00,602
and then, uh, throw everything around
and make it look like a robbery.
22
00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:05,273
- Hold on. Hold on.
- Oh.
23
00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:06,649
Whoa. Oh.
24
00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:09,194
Lucas, I knew you were gonna like that.
25
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,321
He's got those pj's
with the Buzz Lightyear on 'em
26
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,698
that I thought was so-- They're c-cute.
27
00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:14,783
What did she--
28
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,242
- Yeah, 'cause, you know...
- Oh.
29
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:17,994
- Oh, hey there. Hi.
- No problem.
30
00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:19,412
- Good morning.
- [Scott] Look at that.
31
00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,331
-"Funnuchinos." That's clever.
- Ooh. Yeah.
32
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,792
You know, I'll have a "funnuchino."
A double one.
33
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,835
And put some chocolate in there.
Mostly chocolate.
34
00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:28,129
No coffee. Just hot chocolate. Uh...
35
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:31,424
Put cocoa in it instead of coffee.
Heavy cream if you got that.
36
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:33,760
Ooh, put a little peppermint in there
if you have that.
37
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,930
Any kind of hard candy, throw it in there.
And then whipped cream. Uh...
38
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:40,725
Chop up some cookies if you have them.
Any one of these and, um, sprinkles.
39
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,813
Coffee. Uh, black, please.
40
00:01:45,313 --> 00:01:47,065
- A name for the order?
- [chuckles] Santa.
41
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:48,900
Sir, my job is hard enough.
42
00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:51,861
This is gonna be a bigger adjustment
than I thought.
43
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:52,946
Yeah.
44
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,489
- Ho ho ho.
- Oh.
45
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,408
- [choir harmonizing]
- [theme playing]
46
00:01:57,408 --> 00:01:58,660
[grunts]
47
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:02,372
[harmonizing continues]
48
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:08,419
["Jingle Bells" plays]
49
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,131
[Simon] Hey, hey!
50
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:14,342
Look at this room
full of little rock stars.
51
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:17,011
Hmm. Little? [scoffs] Wow.
52
00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:18,263
Oh. [stammers]
53
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,932
You know what, my apologies,
that was-- that was very rude.
54
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:22,433
Let's rock and roll!
55
00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:23,768
Yay!
56
00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:30,066
Now look, I might be the new Santa, okay,
but I am entering your world,
57
00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:33,611
and my hope is that
we can fly this plane together,
58
00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:36,072
or... [chuckles] ...should I say "sleigh?"
59
00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:38,950
- Sleigh!
- [Simon laughs]
60
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:42,328
The corporate synergy here,
by the way, is fire!
61
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:43,830
I can feel the heat!
62
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:48,042
My only goal here is to amplify
the brilliant, brilliant work
63
00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:49,419
that you're already doing.
64
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,796
- We're all quarterbacks on this field.
- Touchdown!
65
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:54,799
Together, we're gonna work hard,
and we're gonna play hard.
66
00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:57,760
Yay! They're both the same!
67
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:02,140
I know it's still nine months away,
but he is not invited to my birthday.
68
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,767
New Santa, can I have a hug?
69
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:07,562
Uh, that sounds like a trap,
so I'm gonna say no.
70
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,647
Weird. Okay.
71
00:03:09,647 --> 00:03:11,691
What time will you be tucking us in
at night?
72
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,985
Are there any
less uncomfortable questions?
73
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,320
Why aren't you wearing the coat?
74
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,405
Yeah, where's the coat?
75
00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:20,533
We eliminated casual Friday,
like, 300 years ago.
76
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,660
Thank you for the great questions.
Back to work, everybody!
77
00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:24,787
Yay!
78
00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:26,581
[elves chattering]
79
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:29,292
Sir, you really do have to wear the coat.
It's protocol.
80
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:32,003
Sure. So, uh, Betty,
this is really not a big deal at all,
81
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:35,298
but, um, I may have sort of,
uh, misplaced the coat.
82
00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:36,549
You what?
83
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,969
Stay calm, Betty.
You've been through so much worse.
84
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:42,180
Never had a mother. Never had a father.
85
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,598
Can't we just replace it?
86
00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:47,518
It was made from
the robe of Saint Nicholas
87
00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:51,940
and passed down
from Santa to Santa ever since.
88
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,816
So, no.
89
00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:55,443
Do you wanna go build a snow fort?
90
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:56,569
He doesn't have time.
91
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:59,447
We're already behind schedule,
and it's only 300 days till Christmas.
92
00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:00,740
[laughs]
93
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:04,786
- Oh. You're serious?
- Why does everyone always ask me that?
94
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,120
{\an8}[Scott] My turn. My turn.
95
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,624
{\an8}So, if I collected
six and a half orange tokens,
96
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:13,836
I get to advance down your mine shaft
and steal all your sheep?
97
00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:15,630
- No clue.
- Look at this.
98
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:18,967
Being Santa, I never got to spend
this kind of time with you guys.
99
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:21,386
- I love it. Really, this is great.
- [Sandra] Me too.
100
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,012
- I like it too.
- Yeah.
101
00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:27,600
So, I hate to be the bummer,
but the kids need to start school.
102
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:28,935
[gasps] Yes!
103
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,771
- No. Don't vomit, don't vomit--
- [Scott] Sandra, you're not gonna vomit.
104
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:34,148
But we are gonna have to come up
with that backstory,
105
00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:35,775
'cause it's gonna be too many questions.
106
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:39,320
- So, we're down to a shrimp boat family.
- I had a-- Mm-hmm.
107
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,406
We were shrimping someplace
way off the coast.
108
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,324
- Newfoundland, or something like that.
- Right.
109
00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:44,993
The other one was the Buddhist thing.
110
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,078
It was a little complex,
but gives us a reason to be away.
111
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:48,955
- Sure.
- I don't know about lost on an island.
112
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,665
Just begs more questions. Trust me.
113
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,417
- I think--
- We'll go with the shrimp--
114
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,420
No, I think we have to go with
the Alaskan bush pilot.
115
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,463
- That's what I told everyone at work--
- I like it.
116
00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:59,716
I'm an Alaskan bush pilot.
We already talked about it.
117
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:02,302
- It's a great idea.
- Yeah. I'm-- I'm the bush pilot.
118
00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:04,220
And you know, here's the thing.
119
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:07,598
I didn't want everyone at work to think
that I left this great job
120
00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:11,102
to be the nameless, faceless woman
behind a larger-than-life man.
121
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,604
Hmm. 'Cause it's not true.
122
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:15,648
- Okay. Listen, what are we gonna do?
- [Carol] Okay.
123
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,025
We got the eight-sided die.
124
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:20,278
You roll it once, then there's
the six-sided one, flip the thing,
125
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:22,572
- and now I gotta flip the sheep.
- [Sandra] No.
126
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,324
How do I do that?
When do I flip the sheep?
127
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,408
[Sandra] Oh, well...
128
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,493
We looked at this. Not that page.
129
00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,329
- Where is it?
- It's that one in the middle.
130
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,164
- In the middle. There we go.
- It's the red--
131
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,415
Who reads German?
132
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:33,916
[students chattering]
133
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,837
Ooh, boy. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey.
134
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,047
See you in my office!
135
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,591
Whoa. Sorry, muscle memory.
136
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:44,385
Yeah, detention. I used to like that.
That was a good memory for me.
137
00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:47,805
Oh, man! I'm actually inside
an American high school!
138
00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:49,974
It's everything I've ever dreamed of.
139
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:53,686
You got your influencers,
your cybergoths, and your jocks.
140
00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:56,064
I mean, this is amazing. [chuckles]
141
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,690
- Oh, my God!
- I'm so sorry!
142
00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:59,984
Oh, gosh! [grunts]
143
00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:01,277
Are-- Are you all right?
144
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:04,197
Yeah, I'm fine.
I just got cut from the softball team.
145
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:07,408
Oh, uh, they're just jealous, okay?
146
00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:10,995
It's like when the elves told me I was
too tall to play jollyball with them.
147
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:12,872
It'll be all right.
148
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:14,665
You are strange.
149
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:18,127
I, um, I guess I'll see you around, yeah?
150
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:19,712
Yeah.
151
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,005
Okay. [chuckles]
152
00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:26,803
High school is awesome! [chuckles]
153
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,055
That wasn't my experience. [chuckles]
154
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,474
Listen, you've been awfully quiet.
What's the matter?
155
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:34,560
- What did you bring?
- [Sandra groans]
156
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,853
- [rabbit squeals]
- [Sandra coos]
157
00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:38,314
- Anything else?
- [sighs] Yes.
158
00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:39,524
[chuckles]
159
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:40,608
Hey.
160
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:42,276
- [Scott] Oh, great.
- [Sandra] Come on.
161
00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:48,533
Uh, listen-- Okay, let's-- let's just try
to act normal with a coat full of animals.
162
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:51,494
Actually,
he prefers to be called a-a reptile.
163
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,163
Whoa. Looks exactly the same.
164
00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:58,042
I can't believe my eyes.
I'm looking at a legend here.
165
00:06:58,042 --> 00:07:00,670
Okay, well,
let's not start a stampede with the kids.
166
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,964
The Carol Newman. [laughs]
167
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,007
Oh, that-- that-- that legend.
168
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:06,384
Vivian!
169
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:07,468
[Vivian, Carol] Oh.
170
00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,429
You remember my husband, Scott.
171
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,805
- Vivian.
- Not ringing a bell.
172
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,474
So ironic 'cause
bells are such a big part of my life.
173
00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:14,892
- Yeah.
- I got coats with bells--
174
00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:17,186
- I wanna hear about being a bush pilot.
- Oh, yeah.
175
00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:19,355
Oh, especially the time you flew
through the avalanche
176
00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:20,940
to rescue your poor frightened husband.
177
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:24,485
Yeah, that was an amazing story.
I'd like to hear that myself.
178
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:25,570
- That's great.
- Yeah.
179
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,613
I can't remember the plane.
It was kind of weird.
180
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:30,575
- Like--
- Yeah, that was my Cessna.
181
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:31,659
Nicely done.
182
00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:34,954
I was thinking, just looking around,
that I'd love to stay.
183
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,622
- If-- If that's okay?
- Yeah.
184
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,458
Sure. Sure. I got plenty of stuff to do.
185
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,001
I'm gonna stop by some old haunts.
186
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:42,003
- Stop by Circuit City, get us a VCR...
- Yeah.
187
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,297
...and then to Blockbuster.
I'll rent some tapes for tonight.
188
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,632
Anyway, ho ho ho ho ho.
189
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:49,552
[clears throat] Ho, ho. Whoa.
190
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,762
Whoa, do I have allergies to that.
191
00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:54,849
That's-- Ho ho. [coughs] Ho ho.
192
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:55,933
- [Carol] No.
- [Scott] No.
193
00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:58,186
So, this is where the magic happens.
194
00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:01,355
Magic alone isn't enough to deliver
a billion toys in one night.
195
00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:03,191
[Crouton] Now you just stepped in it.
196
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:05,943
Hugo's one of those elves
that believes in "science."
197
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:09,447
Rumor has it he's originally
from the South Pole.
198
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:12,658
Magic has its place,
but if you combine that
199
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:18,206
with quantum physics, multiple dimensions,
parallel universes, vortexes,
200
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:21,459
holes in the sky that Santa
can travel through, and boom!
201
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:22,877
Joy to the whole world.
202
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:25,004
- A billion deliveries in one night.
- Wow.
203
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:27,215
If I had this kind of tech,
I would've killed it.
204
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:30,927
Of course, only being able to deliver
on Christmas would've been a problem.
205
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,429
Oh, with a couple adjustments,
this puppy can deliver anytime.
206
00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:35,973
We could do this year-round?
207
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:39,894
Dad, you have that crazy look you get
whenever a new smartphone's released.
208
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,605
- So, when people send us their orders--
- You mean lists?
209
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,982
Sure. We can get them
what they want right away?
210
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:46,734
Well, with our delivery system,
211
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:49,529
we can get people what they want
before they even know they want it.
212
00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,242
Dad. Crazy eyes.
213
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,452
[remix of "Jingle Bells" playing]
214
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,296
Memorial Day is awesome.
215
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:10,550
Parties, barbecues, games and fun.
216
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,302
- What are we "memorial-ing?"
- Fallen soldiers.
217
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:14,387
What?
218
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,056
Why are we having a picnic?
219
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:18,683
All right!
220
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:22,144
We can officially get this party started
because Carol's here.
221
00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:25,064
- [laughs] I am so happy to see you.
- How about me-- Yeah.
222
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:28,651
[Carol] Oh, my goodness, you guys!
Oh, it's been forever. Hi.
223
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,695
Mom is like the Dad of this place.
224
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,530
[Carol] Yes! Oh, my goodness.
Such a pleasure.
225
00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:34,073
- [Vivian] And this is--
- [Cal] Huh.
226
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,366
Oh. Oh, hey!
227
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,828
Hey. I-I haven't seen you around school.
228
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:41,414
Oh. So you were looking for me.
229
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,666
- Uh--
- I transferred to another school.
230
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,710
Made the softball team, so, uh, yay.
231
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,545
Nice. [chuckles]
232
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:49,297
My name's Riley, by the way.
233
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:52,341
Cal. It's short for Calvin. Calvin Calvin.
234
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:55,094
Your name's Calvin Calvin?
235
00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:57,555
Yeah. It-- It-- It's a problem.
236
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,557
Well, my full name is Buddy Calvin Claus,
237
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,309
but you know how many elves
are named Buddy?
238
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,768
It gets confusing, you know?
239
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:03,853
Elves?
240
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,480
Kids! Kids. Kids. What'd I-- What'd I say?
241
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,941
Uh, anyway, it wasn't a problem
going by my middle name
242
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,860
until we changed our last name to Calvin.
243
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,112
- Oh. Changed your last name?
- Yeah.
244
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:16,032
All right, so you in the, uh, the Witness
Relocation Program or something?
245
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,783
- Something like that. Yeah.
- Oh, okay.
246
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,536
Anyways, tell me about you.
What kind of human stuff do you do?
247
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:24,123
Have you been to a bank,
like, with money and stuff?
248
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,375
[chuckles] Yeah.
249
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,294
Sandra, you're killing me here.
250
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:31,130
- You're not even trying to make friends.
- What do you call that squirrel?
251
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,174
That's a rat with a big bushy tail
that likes nuts.
252
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:36,385
Okay, and what about you? I don't see you
trying to make any friends.
253
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:39,013
I'm a 60-year-old man.
We don't make friends at this age.
254
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,848
That's nature's way of keeping us cranky.
255
00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:43,100
I thought you said
we were gonna do this together.
256
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,311
- All right. You're right.
- [visitor screaming]
257
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:48,564
And that sounds like an elf scream, and
that's exactly why I left the North Pole!
258
00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:50,858
- Look out! Runaway horse!
- [horse whinnies]
259
00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:53,611
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- [visitors clamoring]
260
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:57,281
Hey, hey! Sandra, what are you doing?
Sandra! What are you doing?
261
00:10:57,281 --> 00:10:59,116
Hey! Come here! Sandra!
262
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,037
[horse whinnies]
263
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:06,999
- [Sandra] Whoa! Whoa!
- [horse whinnies]
264
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,501
[Sandra] It's okay, boy. It's okay.
265
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:14,423
- [rider] Oh, wow, girl.
- [horse blusters]
266
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:16,258
That was crazy impressive riding.
267
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:17,343
Weren't you scared?
268
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:20,096
No. The horse was scared,
so I had to show him I wasn't.
269
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:23,265
[horse whinnies] It's true.
I was scared. I saw a bee.
270
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:25,601
- What did you say?
- What did who say?
271
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:27,561
Oh, crud. It's happening here too?
272
00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:30,564
Hey, I'm Jada.
That's Hannah and MacKenzie.
273
00:11:30,564 --> 00:11:31,649
- Hey.
- Hi.
274
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:35,736
We sort of have this riding club.
You wouldn't wanna join us, would you?
275
00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:37,738
Do walruses love belly rubs?
276
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:40,700
I would love to join your club.
Yeah. [chuckles]
277
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:43,327
- Did you see that?
- Yes!
278
00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:45,788
Sandra saves the day,
and she's making friends.
279
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,123
- [laughs] Amazing.
- [Scott] Yeah.
280
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,375
- I'm kind of riding high as well.
- Yeah, what about?
281
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:52,795
Yeah, so the district is opening
a new charter school, and...
282
00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:55,548
they want me to be in charge of it.
283
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:59,802
Well, listen, I haven't said yes yet.
Um, and-- and I don't have to.
284
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:02,179
- Are you gonna be okay?
- Of course I'm gonna be okay.
285
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:03,681
I've had my time in the spotlight.
286
00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:07,017
It's your turn to shine now,
and I'll just-- I'll sit in the dark.
287
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:09,145
- Didn't sound good, did it?
- No.
288
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:12,690
Elves. My beautiful elves.
289
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:16,986
My beautiful, forever-young elves.
290
00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:21,073
- Who wants to give me some of your blood?
- [elves mumbling]
291
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:24,076
[laughs] I'm just kidding!
Come on, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
292
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,704
Question for you:
What's your favorite day of the year?
293
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,414
Christmas!
294
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:32,126
And what is your least favorite day
of the year?
295
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:34,253
Every other day!
296
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:40,134
And now, what if I told you
that we could make Christmas every day?
297
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,303
- [elf 1] Wow.
- [elf 2] How?
298
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,764
[cheering]
299
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:48,267
Using the North Pole's delivery system
and EverythingNow!'s algorithm,
300
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:49,852
we can make that dream a reality.
301
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,812
Christmas, 365.
302
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:54,648
Giving everyone whatever they want,
whenever they want it!
303
00:12:54,648 --> 00:12:56,025
Think about it, okay?
304
00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:59,278
Christmas every day would diminish
the true specialness of Christmas.
305
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,363
- [Simon continues indistinctly]
- [sighs] I know, Noel.
306
00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:03,866
It's like how being tickled is
the most fun thing in the world,
307
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:06,410
but after a week of being tickled,
you start throwing up.
308
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:10,080
I once tickled you for two weeks straight,
and you never threw up.
309
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,916
Yeah, that was a bad example.
310
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:15,169
I'm just saying Christmas every day
isn't really Christmas.
311
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:19,673
I know. But letting new Santas
find their footing is part of our job.
312
00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:22,760
Santas need to figure out on their own
what they're doing wrong.
313
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,513
- And if Fake Santa Simon doesn't?
- [Simon] ...want when they want it.
314
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:30,601
And that is how Christmas every day
will make the North Pole relevant
315
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,019
for the next millennia!
316
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:35,940
[elves cheering]
317
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,316
Can I have a hug, Santa?
318
00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:40,736
You know what? This time it's fine.
Bring it in. Everybody, come on!
319
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,446
- [Simon laughs] Oh.
- [elves chattering]
320
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:44,490
[Simon] There we go.
321
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:48,160
[groaning] So strong. Very strong. Wow.
322
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:49,954
That's good.
323
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,418
There we go. Very strong.
324
00:13:58,128 --> 00:13:59,463
That's good.
325
00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:02,341
So then, I'm like,
"Whoa, I can't game with you guys,
326
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:07,054
then study for my geometry finals
and volunteer at the community center!"
327
00:14:07,054 --> 00:14:08,180
- What?
- Yeah.
328
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,433
That sounds like my day. It's, like,
been pedal to the metal all day.
329
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:13,477
But plenty of time for my family.
330
00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:15,896
Who's up to play
that terrible sheep game again?
331
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,941
I'm sorry.
I'm hanging out with the horse girls.
332
00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:22,903
Human girls!
Not female horses, just to be clear.
333
00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:24,613
And I have plans with Riley too, so...
334
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:25,573
Oh.
335
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:28,826
Oh! You know what? I forgot.
I've got that science committee meeting.
336
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,661
Right. Right. You know what?
337
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:35,833
Perfect, 'cause what I'll do is, uh,
I guess I will clear the table.
338
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,793
'Cause many hands make light work.
339
00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:42,298
And three trips would be six hands,
so in a way, if you do it yourself,
340
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,508
- it is making light work.
- [Sandra] See you after horse girls.
341
00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:45,885
- [Carol] Bye. Have fun.
- [Cal] Later!
342
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,804
[groans] We got mail already. Got mail.
343
00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:52,808
[chuckles]
344
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,061
Yeah.
345
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:02,902
We launched our Christmas Every Day
promotion in a few test markets,
346
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:06,363
and the results so far are off the charts!
347
00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:07,448
- That's right!
- [cheering]
348
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,701
Everything is on schedule
to go global by November.
349
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,912
- But that's in a couple weeks.
- It sure is.
350
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:16,040
Hmm. Are we sure this feels right?
351
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,666
Oh, well, what do you all think?
352
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:22,004
[chanting] Santa! Santa!
Santa! Santa! Santa!
353
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,547
Santa, we need to talk.
354
00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:24,632
Give us the room.
355
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:33,098
Bets, I should've hired elves years ago.
They're so enthusiastic.
356
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:35,893
I mean, don't get me wrong,
it's not like I'm anti-union.
357
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:38,228
- What's a union?
- Oh, man. I love this place.
358
00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:42,608
Sir, two elves didn't show up
for work today.
359
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,610
Okay, I mean,
people miss work all the time.
360
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:45,945
Not in the North Pole.
361
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,322
No elf has ever not shown up for work.
362
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,406
Ever.
363
00:15:49,406 --> 00:15:51,825
One time we thought Hugo
was trying to pull a "Blue Flu,"
364
00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:54,036
but turned out he had just eaten
too many M&M's.
365
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,496
Blue ones, if that wasn't clear.
366
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:58,415
I sort of stopped listening.
367
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:02,002
Sir, Christmas Every Day, it's a bad idea!
368
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:04,463
It gives people nothing
to look forward to.
369
00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:09,677
It ruins the spirit of giving,
togetherness and specialness.
370
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,930
And no one's going to know
when to watch It's a Wonderful Life.
371
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:14,598
It's going to ruin Christmas.
372
00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:15,849
Hard disagree, Bets.
373
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:18,060
Let me show you this. I did the analysis.
374
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:21,313
Christmas has been on the downswing
for years now.
375
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,857
In fact, idea percolating,
376
00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:30,072
what if, instead of Christmas Every Day,
we called it C.E.D.?
377
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,783
Sir, I think you're being a bit reckless.
378
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:36,245
Also, your eyes are moving in ways
I've only seen in cartoons.
379
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:39,623
Okay, genuine question:
Am I in charge, or are you?
380
00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:43,752
- You are, sir. I can only advise.
- Cool, cool. Okay.
381
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:46,922
Um, so look, I started this business
because I wanted everyone
382
00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:49,049
to have everything they wanted
when they wanted it.
383
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,721
Bets, it was aspirational,
but now it can be a reality.
384
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:57,016
Why don't we just try it this way?
385
00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:00,227
And look, if it doesn't work,
we'll go back to the old way. Okay?
386
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,521
Oh, Betty, Betty.
387
00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:04,982
You're a rock star.
388
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:09,778
[sighs] No, sir. You're a rock star.
389
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:11,280
[monitor beeps]
390
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:16,660
Betty. Honeybuns. Come in!
391
00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:19,079
What the heck?
392
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:22,666
I thought you were gonna stop
Fake Santa Simon,
393
00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:24,626
not call him a rock star.
394
00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:27,379
Crumpet and Barnabas spoke out against
the changes around here,
395
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:28,839
and now they're gone.
396
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,341
Did they run away, or were they sent away?
397
00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:33,802
- I don't know.
- You need to go get Santa Scott back.
398
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:35,971
That's not how it works. I can't.
399
00:17:35,971 --> 00:17:39,183
I figured as much,
so I'm taking matters into my own hands.
400
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,226
Oh, for the love of Mike and Ikes.
401
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:44,980
Santa Simon, I challenge you to a duel!
402
00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,065
Aw!
403
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,567
That's adorbs,
but Daddy's working right now.
404
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,277
Maybe-- Maybe Grace can play.
405
00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:53,781
This isn't a game. This is a legit duel.
406
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,867
- Loser leaves the North Pole.
- What?
407
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,165
Thank you?
408
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,250
This is ridiculous.
409
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,836
Ridiculous? Maybe.
410
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,506
But what you're doing is wrong.
And you know it.
411
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:13,217
That's why you don't bring Grace
with you to work anymore.
412
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,511
You leave Grace out of this, okay?
413
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:18,889
She's just been, uh,
been busy doing stuff.
414
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:21,183
You know, she's just--
just doing kid stuff.
415
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,976
You lie like a gnome.
416
00:18:22,976 --> 00:18:26,313
Noel, that is enough nonsense.
417
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:30,818
Go home, take a nice long bubble-gum bath
and we'll talk about this later.
418
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:31,902
[sighs]
419
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:41,453
Men.
420
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:45,499
[Noel]
My darling, I hate fighting with you.
421
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:49,461
I know your teensy-weensy hands are tied
by ancient North Pole bylaws,
422
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,463
so I guess it's up to me to do something
423
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:55,717
before fake, stupid-head Santa Simon
destroys our way of life.
424
00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:59,471
Pardon my French, but I am "très angré."
425
00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:03,725
If you need me,
the walrus knows where I am. Noel.
426
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:15,696
[door closes]
427
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:18,365
Betty?
428
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:20,576
Are you in here?
429
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:23,453
[grunts] You're so tiny,
it's hard to tell sometimes.
430
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,874
I think I may have been
too harsh with you.
431
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,099
[door closes]
432
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,062
Carol?
433
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:53,859
Oh, my God.
434
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:57,154
Hey! How are you? Look at you!
435
00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:59,448
- What are you doing here?
- I'm taking you back.
436
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,241
- What?
- Simon's destroying Christmas.
437
00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:04,286
Come on. Destroying Christmas? You know
how many times you said that to me?
438
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:07,080
Remember the time I put the phone
in the sleigh? You didn't like that.
439
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,041
How about the time
we buzzed Rockefeller Center,
440
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:12,044
and the tree had a little bend at the top,
"That's the end of Christmas!"
441
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,545
- He has all these crazy plans!
- Yeah.
442
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,005
Like making it Christmas every day!
443
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:18,133
Listen, Simon deserves the right
to be the Santa of his choosing, right?
444
00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:20,719
Just like I deserve the right
to be the dad I was meant to be.
445
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:22,930
I think you wasted a trip.
446
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:25,182
Okay, look. Come on. Stop, stop.
447
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:27,476
Listen, I got to be honest with you.
448
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:31,521
Okay, I missed you.
You wanna hang out for a little bit?
449
00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:32,814
- I'd love to stay!
- Good.
450
00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:35,817
No way I'm going back to the North Pole
while Fake Santa Simon is there.
451
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:37,444
I want nothing to do with that guy.
452
00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:39,863
- Hey, I got a job.
- As what?
453
00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:41,281
[typing on laptop]
454
00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:43,575
- Sir, we have a problem.
- Oh, hi, Betty!
455
00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:45,953
Oh, Grace, I didn't see you there.
456
00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:49,206
You know, the gingerbread men
are redesigning their house
457
00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:50,874
to make it more open-concept,
458
00:20:50,874 --> 00:20:53,126
and there's this whole wall
just waiting to be eaten.
459
00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:55,379
- You should go check it out.
- Oh, Daddy, let's go!
460
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:57,756
Uh, honey, Daddy's working very hard
for you right now.
461
00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:00,550
Why don't you go ahead
and, uh, bring me back a window?
462
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:06,723
[sighs] Sir, the stable elf disappeared,
and there's an issue with the reindeer.
463
00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:09,768
They don't seem to want to fly,
or maybe they can't.
464
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:14,022
I haven't seen them this out of it since
the day after the '64 TV special aired.
465
00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:17,401
This in addition to elves deserting.
466
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:21,738
Sir, the only kind of "deserting" elves
know how to do is eat a cinnamon roll.
467
00:21:21,738 --> 00:21:23,073
Well, then where are they?
468
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:25,826
I wish I knew, but more are gone.
469
00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:26,910
[sighs]
470
00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:32,916
AWOL elves and nonflying reindeer
are a reflection of leadership.
471
00:21:32,916 --> 00:21:35,669
- I agree.
- Yeah, this falls on you, Betty.
472
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:39,506
And so close to December too.
473
00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:40,966
I guess it's good for everyone
474
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:43,885
that Christmas itself doesn't
really matter much anymore, huh?
475
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:54,396
Have you seen Noel?
476
00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:57,107
He didn't come home last night.
477
00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:58,775
Usually, Zippy calls me
478
00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:01,570
and tells me if he's had one too many
at the hot cocoa bar,
479
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:02,863
but Zippy's gone too.
480
00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,614
Men, am I right?
481
00:22:05,907 --> 00:22:08,076
I just don't believe he would leave
without telling me.
482
00:22:08,076 --> 00:22:12,039
Yeah, well, like I said. I-- You know,
I don't know anything about that, so...
483
00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:18,420
[on van's radio]
If we make it through December... ♪
484
00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:20,505
{\an8}[Noel] Making the rounds with you again
has been fun...
485
00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:23,216
- Mm-hmm.
- ...but working for EverythingNow?
486
00:22:23,216 --> 00:22:24,426
What are we doing?
487
00:22:24,426 --> 00:22:27,554
What we always do.
Spreading joy at the holidays, right?
488
00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:30,766
But the closer we get to Christmas,
the less deliveries.
489
00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:33,769
Yeah, I got to admit,
it's not as festive as I remember.
490
00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:35,604
Because of Fake Santa Simon.
491
00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:38,857
He's not "Fake Santa Simon."
He's the real Santa now.
492
00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:41,651
And he's not gonna become a great Santa
without his number one.
493
00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:43,403
You're still the number one.
494
00:22:43,403 --> 00:22:46,365
So, you got to go back to the North Pole
and help this guy, all right?
495
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:47,824
And you got to deal with Betty.
496
00:22:47,824 --> 00:22:49,618
- I can't go back.
- Yes, you can.
497
00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:53,038
I told you, I left her the note,
and she still hasn't come looking for me,
498
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:55,415
- which means she doesn't care anymore.
- She cares about you.
499
00:22:55,415 --> 00:22:59,211
You kids will work it out.
Hell, you've only been married 900 years.
500
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:01,129
Thousand-year itch
is right around the corner.
501
00:23:01,129 --> 00:23:02,672
- That's true.
- [song stops]
502
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:05,133
You know what? This is home now.
503
00:23:05,133 --> 00:23:06,385
We're all real happy here.
504
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:10,222
[screams] Unholy night!
Murray's been decapitated!
505
00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:12,849
[panting]
506
00:23:12,849 --> 00:23:15,435
I never knew this kind of evil existed.
507
00:23:15,435 --> 00:23:18,105
Well, listen, Chicago's not for everybody,
and we can fix him.
508
00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:19,981
We'll just put his head back on the body.
509
00:23:20,982 --> 00:23:24,277
There's footprints.
So we know it wasn't a suicide.
510
00:23:25,028 --> 00:23:26,863
Someone bit his nose off
like a little snack!
511
00:23:26,863 --> 00:23:29,324
- [Scott] Hmm.
- What kind of monster eats a carrot?
512
00:23:29,324 --> 00:23:32,702
Hippies and vegans. Hippie vegans.
513
00:23:32,702 --> 00:23:35,497
Hey! You! You're ruining my work of art.
514
00:23:35,497 --> 00:23:38,500
We're just spreading a little Christmas
spirit here on my property, boys.
515
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:41,461
Uh, wait a minute. Jimmy Mercer.
516
00:23:41,461 --> 00:23:43,755
Tinkertoys, that's your thing, right?
517
00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:45,424
Who cares about Christmas anymore?
518
00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:48,343
- [Noel gasps]
- Hey, hey, hey.
519
00:23:48,343 --> 00:23:49,928
Oh, now you've done it.
520
00:23:50,762 --> 00:23:54,099
You just messed with the greatest
snowball thrower of all time.
521
00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:55,517
Mr. San-- Oh!
522
00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:59,438
- [Noel groans]
- No more Mr. Nice List now.
523
00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:00,689
[Noel grunts]
524
00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:02,441
Oh! Oh!
525
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:04,317
- I just pulled my arm out.
- Santa!
526
00:24:04,317 --> 00:24:06,445
- I'm not the man I used to be.
- [Jimmy grunting]
527
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:08,530
You're not a man. You're my hero!
528
00:24:09,239 --> 00:24:11,575
- [Scott] Cover! Cover!
- [Noel grunting]
529
00:24:11,575 --> 00:24:14,453
[Scott] It's been an honor!
Nice knowing ya.
530
00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:17,080
[Noel] Ow! Ow! [groans]
531
00:24:18,832 --> 00:24:19,833
[sighs]
532
00:24:21,918 --> 00:24:23,545
[groans, sighs]
533
00:24:23,545 --> 00:24:28,258
Wow. It's not even 7:00 p.m.
That was more like a 9:00 p.m. sigh.
534
00:24:28,258 --> 00:24:31,094
I just got fired for getting into
a snowball fight.
535
00:24:31,094 --> 00:24:32,971
- Did you win?
- I used to be somebody.
536
00:24:32,971 --> 00:24:35,557
- At least, I thought I was somebody.
- What are you talking about?
537
00:24:35,557 --> 00:24:38,351
- Get your shoes off the bed.
- I was thinking a lot today about flukes.
538
00:24:38,351 --> 00:24:41,521
It was just a fluke
that I'm even Santa Claus.
539
00:24:41,521 --> 00:24:43,315
That guy could've slid off anybody's roof.
540
00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:46,151
And then I get married to you.
I love being married to you.
541
00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:50,280
That's because of the Mrs. Clause.
I just go one clause to another, you know?
542
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,073
- Hmm.
- I'm out of clauses now.
543
00:24:52,073 --> 00:24:54,910
Well, you have
the "Get Your Shoes Off the Bed" clause.
544
00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:57,287
- Oh, yes, there is that.
- [chuckles]
545
00:24:57,287 --> 00:25:00,373
I thought coming back to Chicago,
I would just start where I left off here.
546
00:25:00,373 --> 00:25:02,292
You know, we'd hit the ground rolling.
547
00:25:02,292 --> 00:25:03,877
Spend time with my kids.
548
00:25:03,877 --> 00:25:06,588
But they have their friends,
and you have your job.
549
00:25:06,588 --> 00:25:07,672
Principal.
550
00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:10,592
You're the best principal in Chicago,
because that's what you're good at.
551
00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:15,013
Well, you just need to figure out
what you're good at.
552
00:25:19,684 --> 00:25:22,354
[Simon] Hey, this is beyond anything
I've ever dreamed of.
553
00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:26,149
C.E.D. is a great success,
and it's all thanks to you.
554
00:25:26,149 --> 00:25:29,402
My elves who haven't complained
and-- and run away!
555
00:25:30,237 --> 00:25:32,822
We have something called
an accounting department now?
556
00:25:32,822 --> 00:25:36,159
Are we charging people?
That's not what we do!
557
00:25:36,159 --> 00:25:39,454
Why don't you give it a chance, okay?
If you don't like it, we'll stop.
558
00:25:39,454 --> 00:25:41,289
But I have a feeling
you'll feel differently
559
00:25:41,289 --> 00:25:43,458
when you're living in
that big mansion on the hill.
560
00:25:43,458 --> 00:25:45,669
No. We're running out of time.
561
00:25:46,419 --> 00:25:50,257
[sighs] This measures Christmas spirit.
Look how dark it's getting.
562
00:25:50,257 --> 00:25:53,468
When the last of the light goes out,
Christmas is extinguished.
563
00:25:53,468 --> 00:25:54,719
[elves gasp]
564
00:25:54,719 --> 00:25:58,848
That's it. Something's been off,
and now I know what it is.
565
00:25:58,848 --> 00:26:02,143
New Santa is destroying Christmas spirit!
566
00:26:02,143 --> 00:26:05,146
What are you talking about?
No, I'm not. I'm making more of it.
567
00:26:05,146 --> 00:26:07,482
Christmas isn't supposed to be every day!
568
00:26:07,482 --> 00:26:09,234
It's about anticipation.
569
00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:12,779
Counting down the days with paper chains
or cheap waxy chocolate.
570
00:26:12,779 --> 00:26:15,615
It's about going to bed
with butterflies in your stomach,
571
00:26:15,615 --> 00:26:19,035
knowing you'll finally wake up
to presents under the tree.
572
00:26:19,035 --> 00:26:22,122
Christmas is about goodness! Love!
573
00:26:22,706 --> 00:26:23,707
[pants]
574
00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:28,628
Having faith in something...
[pants] ...you can't see.
575
00:26:30,463 --> 00:26:32,507
[sighs] I don't feel too good.
576
00:26:34,384 --> 00:26:35,844
[elves gasp]
577
00:26:35,844 --> 00:26:40,473
Speaking of something you can't see,
I can't see Edie!
578
00:26:40,473 --> 00:26:41,683
It's okay.
579
00:26:41,683 --> 00:26:45,854
There is a logical explanation
for everything, except this.
580
00:26:46,896 --> 00:26:48,857
- Commence panicking!
- [elves scream]
581
00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:51,359
Well, hang on, everybody, all right?
This is perfectly normal.
582
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:54,487
In the entire history of the North Pole,
583
00:26:54,487 --> 00:26:58,408
an elf has never
just vanished into thin air.
584
00:26:58,408 --> 00:27:02,454
I've known there was something rotten from
the second you stepped foot in the North--
585
00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:04,080
- [elves gasp]
- [elf] Oh, no.
586
00:27:06,166 --> 00:27:07,167
[sighs]
587
00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:10,795
First, you lose the coat. Now this.
588
00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:13,006
I gave you enough leeway.
589
00:27:13,006 --> 00:27:16,176
As Head Elf,
I will no longer allow you to continue.
590
00:27:16,176 --> 00:27:18,136
Well then, Bets,
591
00:27:19,429 --> 00:27:23,683
it looks like your days
as Head Elf are over.
592
00:27:25,018 --> 00:27:26,686
- [microphone feedback]
- You're fired.
593
00:27:26,686 --> 00:27:28,438
[elves gasp]
594
00:27:28,438 --> 00:27:29,522
[elf] No.
595
00:27:50,377 --> 00:27:51,378
[knocking]
596
00:27:54,381 --> 00:27:59,094
[gasps] Bella? Come. Come, come, come.
597
00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:03,014
I never thought that I would see you here.
598
00:28:04,015 --> 00:28:06,935
I suppose you are looking
for the Santa coat?
599
00:28:06,935 --> 00:28:08,019
- You took it?
- [gasps]
600
00:28:08,019 --> 00:28:11,648
No! It came here on its own.
601
00:28:12,273 --> 00:28:13,274
[Betty] It did?
602
00:28:14,275 --> 00:28:15,652
By itself.
603
00:28:17,570 --> 00:28:18,947
I think it's safer here.
604
00:28:20,990 --> 00:28:22,409
Then why did you come?
605
00:28:22,409 --> 00:28:24,077
I need to get in touch with him.
606
00:28:24,077 --> 00:28:27,580
Oh. Scott Calvin? You let him retire.
607
00:28:28,164 --> 00:28:30,625
That was a little bit of
a whoopsie-doodle for you, eh?
608
00:28:30,625 --> 00:28:32,043
[sighs] Not him.
609
00:28:34,087 --> 00:28:35,338
- Him.
- [bell chimes]
610
00:28:38,717 --> 00:28:42,512
Oh. Where did all this come from?
611
00:28:42,512 --> 00:28:45,598
Well, it might have been me.
I was thinking about what you said.
612
00:28:45,598 --> 00:28:50,437
That I should do what I do best.
And what I do best is Santa Claus.
613
00:28:50,437 --> 00:28:53,857
So it's now time for me to demonstrate
that, now and forever,
614
00:28:53,857 --> 00:28:56,860
I will be Santa Claus for my family.
615
00:28:56,860 --> 00:28:57,819
- Mmm.
- Oh.
616
00:28:57,819 --> 00:28:58,903
[Cal] Thanks, Dad.
617
00:28:58,903 --> 00:29:00,488
Well, I got to say,
618
00:29:00,488 --> 00:29:03,366
all these Christmas decorations
are making me a little homesick.
619
00:29:03,366 --> 00:29:05,243
That's what I'm getting at here.
620
00:29:05,243 --> 00:29:09,789
What I'd like to do is maybe have
an old-fashioned North Pole Christmas,
621
00:29:09,789 --> 00:29:11,249
if-- if you guys have the time.
622
00:29:11,249 --> 00:29:13,334
No, that seems wonderful.
623
00:29:13,334 --> 00:29:15,795
And we could get out
that Flip the Sheep game,
624
00:29:15,795 --> 00:29:18,006
and we could finally make it
through the instructions.
625
00:29:18,006 --> 00:29:21,092
[chuckles] Cal, you know, you can bring
some buds over if you want,
626
00:29:21,092 --> 00:29:22,177
or even ask Riley.
627
00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:23,762
Oh, that's a big step.
628
00:29:23,762 --> 00:29:26,639
You know, game night with your family.
Next stop, marriage.
629
00:29:26,639 --> 00:29:29,267
Oh, please.
You two haven't even kissed yet.
630
00:29:29,267 --> 00:29:31,436
All these months,
and you haven't kissed her, huh?
631
00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:35,899
Well, not everyone dates for six minutes
and then, you know, gets married like us.
632
00:29:35,899 --> 00:29:39,068
Thank you. It's not like I know what
I'm doing when it comes to girls. Like--
633
00:29:39,068 --> 00:29:40,487
I can help you there.
634
00:29:40,487 --> 00:29:42,238
Uh, you're gonna teach me how to kiss?
635
00:29:42,238 --> 00:29:43,782
[chuckles] This should be interesting.
636
00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:45,158
I am not gonna do that.
637
00:29:45,158 --> 00:29:47,327
I was thinking you might
help me do the tree.
638
00:29:47,327 --> 00:29:49,621
- Oh, awesome! Yeah, I've missed that.
- [Carol laughs]
639
00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:50,872
- Okay.
- [Sandra] Yeah, me too.
640
00:29:50,872 --> 00:29:52,373
Well, know what they say?
641
00:29:52,373 --> 00:29:53,750
[both] "Elves gotta elf!"
642
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:56,169
All right, well, our elf is out
getting some ice cream,
643
00:29:56,169 --> 00:29:58,880
but I think we could start
working on the tree.
644
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,257
So, the first time in 29 years...
645
00:30:01,257 --> 00:30:02,342
[inhales deeply]
646
00:30:02,342 --> 00:30:05,261
...I'm going to spend Christmas
with my family.
647
00:30:05,261 --> 00:30:07,138
- Oh, Scott.
- Thank you, Dad.
648
00:30:07,138 --> 00:30:10,183
Okay. Everybody, take an ornament.
649
00:30:10,183 --> 00:30:13,353
Take the big ones, and you start
on the bottom. We're gonna do that...
650
00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:18,817
Oh, God. This can't be good.
651
00:30:20,985 --> 00:30:25,615
[bell chiming]