1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:05,123 This programme contains very strong language 2 00:00:05,123 --> 00:00:06,843 Oh, God. I am trebly tired. 3 00:00:13,643 --> 00:00:15,363 I think I'm actually dead. 4 00:00:16,363 --> 00:00:18,043 Are you talking? Cos I haven't realised. 5 00:00:18,043 --> 00:00:19,643 You're beautiful, beautiful. 6 00:00:19,643 --> 00:00:21,243 I keep meaning to meditate but... 7 00:00:21,243 --> 00:00:23,843 Ow. Get your knee out me crypt. Sorry. 8 00:00:27,043 --> 00:00:29,443 Going to be one crazy-hot corpse, girlfriend. 9 00:00:29,443 --> 00:00:32,763 Yeah, well, you can cop a feel when I'm dead. 10 00:00:34,363 --> 00:00:36,563 Not now, obvs. Obvs. 11 00:00:38,043 --> 00:00:39,443 I'll wait till after the funeral. 12 00:00:40,963 --> 00:00:42,003 Take off. 13 00:00:43,083 --> 00:00:45,603 Paris, Rome, New York. 14 00:00:47,043 --> 00:00:49,883 Whatever vibe you stiffen into. 15 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,923 Paint the town bluish green. 16 00:00:53,163 --> 00:00:54,203 Be great. 17 00:01:00,363 --> 00:01:02,203 You're not actually asleep, are you? 18 00:01:07,923 --> 00:01:09,763 Perfect time to tell you I got fired. 19 00:01:44,683 --> 00:01:46,483 I thought you were joking. 20 00:01:46,483 --> 00:01:48,883 Yeah. No, I wasn't. 21 00:01:50,523 --> 00:01:51,923 Dan, you don't have a job. 22 00:01:53,043 --> 00:01:54,603 Don't worry. 23 00:01:54,603 --> 00:01:55,803 You'll take care of us. 24 00:01:55,803 --> 00:01:56,923 You're amazing. 25 00:01:59,283 --> 00:02:01,243 Hey, can I ask you a personal question? 26 00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:03,443 What? 27 00:02:05,203 --> 00:02:06,443 Do you have any money? 28 00:02:07,683 --> 00:02:09,523 Why didn't you tell me straight away? 29 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,643 Lying's more manly. 30 00:02:13,643 --> 00:02:17,163 Plus the weekend. You could be looking for ages. 31 00:02:17,163 --> 00:02:19,363 I should go freelance again. 32 00:02:19,363 --> 00:02:21,043 I'll get three jobs by teatime. 33 00:02:21,043 --> 00:02:23,243 Yeah, but what if you don't? 34 00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:25,843 What if I lose my job and we both have to go on the game? 35 00:02:25,843 --> 00:02:27,163 What about that? 36 00:02:30,203 --> 00:02:32,363 You'll make a lot more money. 37 00:02:32,363 --> 00:02:34,123 My Johns will be fairly niche. 38 00:02:38,843 --> 00:02:41,283 Suppose I'd better take you out for lunch, then, you loser. 39 00:02:42,923 --> 00:02:44,443 Oh, my God. What? 40 00:02:45,763 --> 00:02:47,923 I just realised. What? What? 41 00:02:47,923 --> 00:02:50,283 I'm holding something that was alive in the '70s. 42 00:02:50,283 --> 00:02:52,563 Oh... Were there dragons everywhere? 43 00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:55,083 Yeah. It was tricky putting out the bins. 44 00:02:56,643 --> 00:02:58,243 So old. 45 00:02:59,443 --> 00:03:01,523 Bet you've got a blue plaque over your wanger and everything. 46 00:03:01,523 --> 00:03:02,923 Let me see. I don't have... 47 00:03:04,283 --> 00:03:07,003 Get off! Get off! Get off. 48 00:03:08,083 --> 00:03:09,163 No fun. 49 00:03:10,443 --> 00:03:13,203 I've got to go. It's a dogfight out there. 50 00:03:14,603 --> 00:03:17,003 I shouted, he shouted. 51 00:03:17,003 --> 00:03:19,323 Then he went to the hut. 52 00:03:19,323 --> 00:03:21,883 I'm not going to see him till Monday. Arsehole! 53 00:03:21,883 --> 00:03:23,363 Anyway, I'm not talking about him. Yeah? 54 00:03:23,363 --> 00:03:26,483 And I'm supporting you by not talking about Dan, 55 00:03:26,483 --> 00:03:29,443 who's an arse for not asking for his brother's help with... 56 00:03:32,563 --> 00:03:34,443 Why don't you...? No, don't give me advice! 57 00:03:34,443 --> 00:03:36,043 Sorry! Sorry. 58 00:03:36,043 --> 00:03:37,643 Kurt gives me advice. 59 00:03:38,763 --> 00:03:40,643 I just want to be left alone! 60 00:03:40,643 --> 00:03:44,723 To be disgusting and die in my... my own ooze and...just... 61 00:03:44,723 --> 00:03:47,443 You know, everyone goes around feeling disgusting. 62 00:03:47,443 --> 00:03:50,243 It's all part of being a normal, healthy piece of shit. 63 00:03:50,243 --> 00:03:51,723 No, I am disgusting. 64 00:03:52,883 --> 00:03:57,363 I just want a van of Black Forest gateau to rear-end my face. 65 00:03:57,363 --> 00:03:58,483 Oh. 66 00:03:58,483 --> 00:04:00,083 Can we do that, um... 67 00:04:00,083 --> 00:04:01,243 ..the breathing thing? 68 00:04:01,243 --> 00:04:03,243 Because I haven't exhaled in, like, six weeks. 69 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,803 In fact, I remember the date. 70 00:04:04,803 --> 00:04:06,363 Tomorrow, maybe, but I've got to go. 71 00:04:06,363 --> 00:04:09,003 I've got to go downtown, but I can... Oh, my God... 72 00:04:10,043 --> 00:04:11,843 SHE SOBS 73 00:04:11,843 --> 00:04:13,963 All right, I can do it. I can do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. 74 00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:16,483 No... OK. Sorry. 75 00:04:16,483 --> 00:04:18,123 Oh, come here. 76 00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,843 SHE SOBS 77 00:04:21,843 --> 00:04:23,603 It's all right. I... 78 00:04:24,603 --> 00:04:26,603 OK. 79 00:04:26,603 --> 00:04:30,603 My granny would say, "Just take deep breaths. 80 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:33,563 "Just pretend you're swimming." That's... Aww. Sorry. 81 00:04:33,563 --> 00:04:35,963 If my granny were here, she'd say, "Fuck him. 82 00:04:35,963 --> 00:04:37,643 "I hope his hut explodes." 83 00:04:37,643 --> 00:04:39,203 Yeah. 84 00:04:39,203 --> 00:04:40,443 Aww. 85 00:04:40,443 --> 00:04:41,603 Oh. 86 00:04:41,603 --> 00:04:42,683 Thank you. 87 00:04:47,843 --> 00:04:49,603 The power of man. 88 00:04:49,603 --> 00:04:50,963 Power of nature. 89 00:04:51,963 --> 00:04:55,003 Perhaps when you finish punching yourself in the face, 90 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:57,083 you open the fist of your mind. 91 00:04:59,403 --> 00:05:01,483 PHONE RINGS 92 00:05:01,483 --> 00:05:04,563 Hey. Where are you? I've been waiting for ages. 93 00:05:12,163 --> 00:05:13,523 Hey. Oh, there you are. 94 00:05:14,843 --> 00:05:17,803 So Joy was like, "You're doing it. You'll finally teach me 95 00:05:17,803 --> 00:05:19,123 "how to breathe properly." 96 00:05:19,123 --> 00:05:21,563 And then she gave me all this stuff she's throwing out 97 00:05:21,563 --> 00:05:23,123 before the dinner party. 98 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,723 Gave me the rest of the day off! 99 00:05:24,723 --> 00:05:26,003 Ha-ha! Look. 100 00:05:27,123 --> 00:05:29,563 These are batshit. I'm never taking them off. 101 00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:32,003 Teaching, huh? You called me a wanker about 50 times 102 00:05:32,003 --> 00:05:33,363 showing me how the oven worked. 103 00:05:33,363 --> 00:05:35,363 Breath work's easy when you get the hang of it. 104 00:05:35,363 --> 00:05:37,443 Anyone can do it. Even you, you wanker. 105 00:05:37,443 --> 00:05:38,723 Hey? Mm. 106 00:05:40,163 --> 00:05:41,563 Do you love me? 107 00:05:41,563 --> 00:05:42,723 Uncontrollably. 108 00:05:42,723 --> 00:05:44,563 In great, rollicking spasms. 109 00:05:44,563 --> 00:05:46,163 Like the sea. 110 00:05:46,163 --> 00:05:47,403 Or pigs waking up. 111 00:05:47,403 --> 00:05:49,803 Get chips then. No chips. 112 00:05:49,803 --> 00:05:52,203 Spinach, fascism, triumph. 113 00:05:52,203 --> 00:05:54,403 Just get me some chips, you useless skank. 114 00:05:56,043 --> 00:05:58,483 What about these? For curtains. 115 00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,923 Oh, don't you just want to live in them? 116 00:06:00,923 --> 00:06:02,563 I think we'll have to try them all, obviously. 117 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,243 Obviously. 118 00:06:04,243 --> 00:06:05,523 Everything in here kills you. 119 00:06:05,523 --> 00:06:07,763 They deep-fry the forks. 120 00:06:07,763 --> 00:06:09,203 There's one type of salad. 121 00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:11,403 Aren't these the most "ooh" things you've ever seen? 122 00:06:11,403 --> 00:06:13,643 The most what? Ooh! 123 00:06:13,643 --> 00:06:15,483 How's that go again? Ooh! 124 00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:17,643 Are they not a bit... over the top? 125 00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:22,923 LAUGHTER 126 00:06:22,923 --> 00:06:24,003 Hey-up, you've pulled. 127 00:06:24,003 --> 00:06:26,483 That is the third time I've seen the waiter check you out. 128 00:06:29,443 --> 00:06:32,163 Listen, I'll get that for you as soon as I can, OK? 129 00:06:32,163 --> 00:06:35,803 Oh, yeah, Jamal. Yeah, total party animal. Amazing dancer. 130 00:06:35,803 --> 00:06:39,723 You mean you have danced with him and his 40,000 teeth? Hell yeah. 131 00:06:39,723 --> 00:06:41,883 Years ago. He's a terrible flirt. 132 00:06:41,883 --> 00:06:44,403 Incredible dancer, though. Incredible. 133 00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:46,803 Mm. Shallow technique, by the look of him. 134 00:06:46,803 --> 00:06:49,483 Obviously can't get you out of his head. 135 00:06:49,483 --> 00:06:50,803 Maybe he just likes all my stuff. 136 00:06:50,803 --> 00:06:52,883 I bet he loves your stuff. 137 00:06:52,883 --> 00:06:54,643 Well, he's clearly got very good taste. 138 00:06:54,643 --> 00:06:56,203 And a spectacular wanger. 139 00:06:57,523 --> 00:06:59,483 I bet he never orders the chips. 140 00:06:59,483 --> 00:07:00,523 Neither do I. 141 00:07:02,083 --> 00:07:04,323 Not threatened by him, are you? 142 00:07:04,323 --> 00:07:06,123 I mean, he's very charismatic. 143 00:07:06,123 --> 00:07:08,483 And, well, look at him. 144 00:07:08,483 --> 00:07:10,043 Is this a test? 145 00:07:10,043 --> 00:07:11,283 Maybe. 146 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,643 Isn't this just perfect? 147 00:07:18,643 --> 00:07:19,843 For where? 148 00:07:19,843 --> 00:07:21,723 Literally everywhere. 149 00:07:21,723 --> 00:07:23,003 Can I be honest? 150 00:07:23,003 --> 00:07:24,043 No. 151 00:07:26,283 --> 00:07:27,843 They're better than perfect. 152 00:07:29,003 --> 00:07:30,443 Hi there. 153 00:07:30,443 --> 00:07:32,403 Hey, how are you doing? 154 00:07:32,403 --> 00:07:34,643 So can we get the dirtbag fries for him? 155 00:07:34,643 --> 00:07:38,363 And I'll have a micro salad and a sparkling water. Thank you. 156 00:07:38,363 --> 00:07:40,043 Can I have also have a salad, please? 157 00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,563 That's the last one. 158 00:07:41,563 --> 00:07:43,683 They're too small to share. 159 00:07:43,683 --> 00:07:45,443 Do you want a burger? 160 00:07:45,443 --> 00:07:47,243 What I'd like is a salad, please. 161 00:07:47,243 --> 00:07:49,603 Oh, shh! Come on. Sorry. 162 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,403 Just have a salad on the weekend. 163 00:07:52,603 --> 00:07:53,643 Chips. 164 00:07:57,163 --> 00:07:58,203 Joy. 165 00:08:11,243 --> 00:08:12,923 One of those guys thinks he's a player 166 00:08:12,923 --> 00:08:15,923 cos he sits there squinting at the cards all night. 167 00:08:15,923 --> 00:08:17,443 Clueless. 168 00:08:17,443 --> 00:08:18,603 Guess how much I won. 169 00:08:18,603 --> 00:08:19,843 I don't know. Tell me. How much? 170 00:08:19,843 --> 00:08:22,683 Four-and-a-half grand. Wow, that is brilliant. 171 00:08:22,683 --> 00:08:25,403 Then I played a smaller game and I won another two. 172 00:08:25,403 --> 00:08:27,923 No way. Just straight on? 173 00:08:27,923 --> 00:08:29,083 Yep. 174 00:08:29,083 --> 00:08:31,963 I'm so in, all right? I'm totally in. I'm... I'm... 175 00:08:31,963 --> 00:08:33,403 Yes, you know, to all of that. 176 00:08:33,403 --> 00:08:34,843 But, erm... 177 00:08:34,843 --> 00:08:37,843 Er, listen, about the other thing, you know, the tranqs. 178 00:08:37,843 --> 00:08:40,083 Could you write me a script for, like, a week? Is that possible? 179 00:08:40,083 --> 00:08:43,323 Oh, can't you get Carla to massage your aura? 180 00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:48,123 No, Pete. I'm asking you, you know? I'm... 181 00:08:48,123 --> 00:08:51,523 I'm working very hard right now to stay on top of my shit, OK? 182 00:08:51,523 --> 00:08:53,643 I'm veggie. Veggie, yeah? 183 00:08:53,643 --> 00:08:55,083 That shit'll kill you. 184 00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,243 Have a bacon sandwich. 185 00:09:01,643 --> 00:09:04,723 And we're meditating. 186 00:09:06,203 --> 00:09:07,923 It's happening right now. 187 00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:09,403 Come on, now. Five minutes. 188 00:09:09,403 --> 00:09:10,563 Oh, come on. 189 00:09:10,563 --> 00:09:11,723 Now. 190 00:09:11,723 --> 00:09:13,963 Five fucking minutes. 191 00:09:15,123 --> 00:09:17,243 Hurry up. Oh, why bother? 192 00:09:17,243 --> 00:09:18,923 This is pathetic. 193 00:09:18,923 --> 00:09:20,963 You're doing it all wrong. LAUGHTER 194 00:09:20,963 --> 00:09:22,083 You're doing it all wrong. 195 00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,283 Shut up! 196 00:09:29,283 --> 00:09:30,923 No, the rates are whatever. 197 00:09:30,923 --> 00:09:33,883 We can talk, OK? You know, I mean, I'm just saying I'm around, 198 00:09:33,883 --> 00:09:35,723 so bear me in mind. 199 00:09:35,723 --> 00:09:37,323 Give us a shout. 200 00:09:37,323 --> 00:09:39,323 All right, Trish. Thanks. Bye. Bye. 201 00:09:44,283 --> 00:09:45,603 Hey. Hey, Theo. 202 00:09:45,603 --> 00:09:46,963 What's up? Daniel. Yeah. 203 00:09:46,963 --> 00:09:48,323 Daniel Sands. How are you? 204 00:09:49,843 --> 00:09:51,563 HE CHUCKLES OK. 205 00:09:51,563 --> 00:09:53,723 All righty. Maybe not. 206 00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:56,363 Yeah, I would. Yeah, I would. I absolutely would. 207 00:09:56,363 --> 00:10:00,003 I... Half the rate, whatever, you know, because what I'm saying 208 00:10:00,003 --> 00:10:01,883 is I'm available, you know? 209 00:10:01,883 --> 00:10:04,523 I'm around. I am... I am just around. 210 00:10:06,203 --> 00:10:07,363 OK. 211 00:10:07,363 --> 00:10:09,083 The whole campaign, like, from beginning to end, 212 00:10:09,083 --> 00:10:11,883 the three stages of you need these brushes, 213 00:10:11,883 --> 00:10:13,803 why don't you have these brushes yet? 214 00:10:13,803 --> 00:10:15,043 Maybe you don't want to be alive. 215 00:10:15,043 --> 00:10:17,683 I just thought that was so... The way you bridged it. 216 00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,123 Hurt me and pay me. 217 00:10:19,123 --> 00:10:21,643 Just pay me, you motherfucker. 218 00:10:21,643 --> 00:10:23,923 It could be High Wycombe all over again, all right? 219 00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:25,083 Fish permits. 220 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,643 Take it easy. Bye, bye. 221 00:10:28,043 --> 00:10:29,283 You motherfucker. 222 00:10:31,563 --> 00:10:33,843 Yeah? Listen, just give me a sec. 223 00:10:33,843 --> 00:10:35,763 Back in a minute. 224 00:10:35,763 --> 00:10:36,883 Hey. 225 00:10:36,883 --> 00:10:38,643 Hey. 226 00:10:38,643 --> 00:10:39,963 What would you like? 227 00:10:42,043 --> 00:10:43,843 What did you choose? Yeah. 228 00:10:45,283 --> 00:10:47,283 For lunch? 229 00:10:47,283 --> 00:10:49,563 Lunch, yeah. Lunch. 230 00:10:49,563 --> 00:10:51,563 What's the... What's the flapperola? 231 00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:53,683 Oh, that's an omelette. Mm. 232 00:10:53,683 --> 00:10:55,403 It's nice? It's very nice. 233 00:10:55,403 --> 00:10:57,843 You do it with, like, herbs or...? 234 00:10:57,843 --> 00:11:00,003 We've got basil and chive in there. 235 00:11:00,003 --> 00:11:01,843 Would you like that? 236 00:11:01,843 --> 00:11:04,003 Me? No, I don't... I don't eat eggs. 237 00:11:04,003 --> 00:11:05,283 OK. 238 00:11:05,283 --> 00:11:06,763 How come you asked about it? 239 00:11:06,763 --> 00:11:08,963 Sorry. Give us the... I'll have the... Give us the... 240 00:11:08,963 --> 00:11:10,403 Give us the pasta. 241 00:11:12,443 --> 00:11:13,643 There isn't one. 242 00:11:13,643 --> 00:11:16,363 Is there a sandwich? If there's a sandwich, I'll have a sandwich. 243 00:11:16,363 --> 00:11:18,043 There's 14. Oh, sorry. 244 00:11:18,043 --> 00:11:19,603 Give me that. I'll have that. 245 00:11:19,603 --> 00:11:22,003 You want the dream cakes? You know that's a dessert, right? 246 00:11:22,003 --> 00:11:23,563 Yes. Give it to me, please. 247 00:11:24,603 --> 00:11:25,963 OK. 248 00:11:25,963 --> 00:11:27,003 Coming right up. 249 00:11:27,003 --> 00:11:28,363 Yeah. OK. 250 00:11:30,963 --> 00:11:34,003 With her ginger balls cake hidden from sight in the oven, 251 00:11:34,003 --> 00:11:36,163 Jodi makes a start on the icing... 252 00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:38,083 Come on, then! 253 00:11:38,083 --> 00:11:39,483 I'm ready. 254 00:11:39,483 --> 00:11:40,883 Eyes closed. Promise. 255 00:11:44,163 --> 00:11:47,803 OK. Oh, I knew this would happen eventually. 256 00:11:47,803 --> 00:11:50,963 Everyone's just giving me things cos they realise how amazing I am. 257 00:11:50,963 --> 00:11:53,083 What is it? Don't tell me. What is it? 258 00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:55,123 Night-vision goggles and a claw hammer. Come on. 259 00:11:55,123 --> 00:11:57,603 Seriously, what is it? Crisps. Come on. 260 00:12:05,323 --> 00:12:07,083 Oh... 261 00:12:07,083 --> 00:12:08,523 Wow. 262 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,603 Jesus. 263 00:12:12,923 --> 00:12:14,363 What? You're welcome. 264 00:12:14,363 --> 00:12:16,723 I'm sorry I've been so stressed about looking for work. 265 00:12:19,123 --> 00:12:22,563 I take it you'll be teasing me deliciously 266 00:12:22,563 --> 00:12:25,883 in the usual swoony back-to-front pants and dead bear T-shirt? 267 00:12:25,883 --> 00:12:27,683 You don't even know me. I've got loads of T-shirts, 268 00:12:27,683 --> 00:12:29,163 I don't have a single one with a bear. 269 00:12:29,163 --> 00:12:31,283 Yeah, but they all make you look like a dead bear, 270 00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:32,883 lying there, full of chips. 271 00:12:34,363 --> 00:12:36,163 Now I can crawl on top of you, 272 00:12:36,163 --> 00:12:38,923 all snuggly in my bunting as I asphyxiate. 273 00:12:42,203 --> 00:12:43,403 Can we talk? 274 00:12:43,403 --> 00:12:45,363 Anything for my pimp. 275 00:12:45,363 --> 00:12:46,603 You don't have to turn off... 276 00:12:47,803 --> 00:12:48,843 Spill. 277 00:12:54,683 --> 00:12:55,723 I love you. 278 00:12:57,283 --> 00:12:58,603 Oh, this is good. 279 00:12:58,603 --> 00:12:59,763 And? 280 00:13:02,803 --> 00:13:03,963 What, Dan? 281 00:13:14,123 --> 00:13:15,563 I hate the curtains.