1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,080 This programme contains very strong language 2 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:06,800 Oh, God. I am trebly tired. 3 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:15,320 I think I'm actually dead. 4 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:18,000 Are you talking? Cos I haven't realised. 5 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,600 You're beautiful, beautiful. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,200 I keep meaning to meditate but... 7 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,800 Ow. Get your knee out me crypt. Sorry. 8 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,400 Going to be one crazy-hot corpse, girlfriend. 9 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,720 Yeah, well, you can cop a feel when I'm dead. 10 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:36,520 Not now, obvs. Obvs. 11 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,400 I'll wait till after the funeral. 12 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:41,960 Take off. 13 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,560 Paris, Rome, New York. 14 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,840 Whatever vibe you stiffen into. 15 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:51,880 Paint the town bluish green. 16 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,160 Be great. 17 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,160 You're not actually asleep, are you? 18 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,720 Perfect time to tell you I got fired. 19 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,440 I thought you were joking. 20 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,840 Yeah. No, I wasn't. 21 00:01:50,479 --> 00:01:51,880 Dan, you don't have a job. 22 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,560 Don't worry. 23 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:55,759 You'll take care of us. 24 00:01:55,759 --> 00:01:56,880 You're amazing. 25 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,200 Hey, can I ask you a personal question? 26 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:03,400 What? 27 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:06,400 Do you have any money? 28 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:09,479 Why didn't you tell me straight away? 29 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,600 Lying's more manly. 30 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,120 Plus the weekend. You could be looking for ages. 31 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,320 I should go freelance again. 32 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,000 I'll get three jobs by teatime. 33 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,200 Yeah, but what if you don't? 34 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,800 What if I lose my job and we both have to go on the game? 35 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,120 What about that? 36 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,320 You'll make a lot more money. 37 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,079 My Johns will be fairly niche. 38 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,240 Suppose I'd better take you out for lunch, then, you loser. 39 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,400 Oh, my God. What? 40 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,880 I just realised. What? What? 41 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,240 I'm holding something that was alive in the '70s. 42 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,520 Oh... Were there dragons everywhere? 43 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,040 Yeah. It was tricky putting out the bins. 44 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,200 So old. 45 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,480 Bet you've got a blue plaque over your wanger and everything. 46 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:02,880 Let me see. I don't have... 47 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,960 Get off! Get off! Get off. 48 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,120 No fun. 49 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:13,160 I've got to go. It's a dogfight out there. 50 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,960 I shouted, he shouted. 51 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,280 Then he went to the hut. 52 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,840 I'm not going to see him till Monday. Arsehole! 53 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,320 Anyway, I'm not talking about him. Yeah? 54 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:26,440 And I'm supporting you by not talking about Dan, 55 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,400 who's an arse for not asking for his brother's help with... 56 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:34,400 Why don't you...? No, don't give me advice! 57 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,000 Sorry! Sorry. 58 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,600 Kurt gives me advice. 59 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:40,600 I just want to be left alone! 60 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:44,680 To be disgusting and die in my... my own ooze and...just... 61 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,400 You know, everyone goes around feeling disgusting. 62 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,200 It's all part of being a normal, healthy piece of shit. 63 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:51,680 No, I am disgusting. 64 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:57,320 I just want a van of Black Forest gateau to rear-end my face. 65 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,440 Oh. 66 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,040 Can we do that, um... 67 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,200 ..the breathing thing? 68 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,200 Because I haven't exhaled in, like, six weeks. 69 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,760 In fact, I remember the date. 70 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,320 Tomorrow, maybe, but I've got to go. 71 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,960 I've got to go downtown, but I can... Oh, my God... 72 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,800 SHE SOBS 73 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,920 All right, I can do it. I can do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. 74 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,440 No... OK. Sorry. 75 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,079 Oh, come here. 76 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,800 SHE SOBS 77 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,560 It's all right. I... 78 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,560 OK. 79 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:30,560 My granny would say, "Just take deep breaths. 80 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,520 "Just pretend you're swimming." That's... Aww. Sorry. 81 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,920 If my granny were here, she'd say, "Fuck him. 82 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,600 "I hope his hut explodes." 83 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,159 Yeah. 84 00:04:39,159 --> 00:04:40,400 Aww. 85 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:41,560 Oh. 86 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:42,640 Thank you. 87 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,560 The power of man. 88 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:50,920 Power of nature. 89 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,960 Perhaps when you finish punching yourself in the face, 90 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,040 you open the fist of your mind. 91 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,440 PHONE RINGS 92 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:04,520 Hey. Where are you? I've been waiting for ages. 93 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,480 Hey. Oh, there you are. 94 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,760 So Joy was like, "You're doing it. You'll finally teach me 95 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:19,080 "how to breathe properly." 96 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,520 And then she gave me all this stuff she's throwing out 97 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:23,080 before the dinner party. 98 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:24,680 Gave me the rest of the day off! 99 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:25,960 Ha-ha! Look. 100 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,520 These are batshit. I'm never taking them off. 101 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:31,960 Teaching, huh? You called me a wanker about 50 times 102 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,320 showing me how the oven worked. 103 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,320 Breath work's easy when you get the hang of it. 104 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,400 Anyone can do it. Even you, you wanker. 105 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:38,680 Hey? Mm. 106 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,520 Do you love me? 107 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:42,680 Uncontrollably. 108 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,520 In great, rollicking spasms. 109 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,120 Like the sea. 110 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:47,360 Or pigs waking up. 111 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,760 Get chips then. No chips. 112 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,159 Spinach, fascism, triumph. 113 00:05:52,159 --> 00:05:54,360 Just get me some chips, you useless skank. 114 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,440 What about these? For curtains. 115 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,880 Oh, don't you just want to live in them? 116 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:02,520 I think we'll have to try them all, obviously. 117 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,200 Obviously. 118 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:05,480 Everything in here kills you. 119 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,720 They deep-fry the forks. 120 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:09,160 There's one type of salad. 121 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,360 Aren't these the most "ooh" things you've ever seen? 122 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:13,600 The most what? Ooh! 123 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:15,440 How's that go again? Ooh! 124 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,600 Are they not a bit... over the top? 125 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:22,880 LAUGHTER 126 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:23,960 Hey-up, you've pulled. 127 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,440 That is the third time I've seen the waiter check you out. 128 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,120 Listen, I'll get that for you as soon as I can, OK? 129 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:35,760 Oh, yeah, Jamal. Yeah, total party animal. Amazing dancer. 130 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:39,680 You mean you have danced with him and his 40,000 teeth? Hell yeah. 131 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,840 Years ago. He's a terrible flirt. 132 00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:44,360 Incredible dancer, though. Incredible. 133 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,760 Mm. Shallow technique, by the look of him. 134 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:49,440 Obviously can't get you out of his head. 135 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:50,760 Maybe he just likes all my stuff. 136 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:52,840 I bet he loves your stuff. 137 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,600 Well, he's clearly got very good taste. 138 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,159 And a spectacular wanger. 139 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,440 I bet he never orders the chips. 140 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:00,480 Neither do I. 141 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,280 Not threatened by him, are you? 142 00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:06,080 I mean, he's very charismatic. 143 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,440 And, well, look at him. 144 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:10,000 Is this a test? 145 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,240 Maybe. 146 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,600 Isn't this just perfect? 147 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:19,800 For where? 148 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,680 Literally everywhere. 149 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:22,960 Can I be honest? 150 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:24,000 No. 151 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:27,800 They're better than perfect. 152 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,400 Hi there. 153 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,360 Hey, how are you doing? 154 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,600 So can we get the dirtbag fries for him? 155 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:38,320 And I'll have a micro salad and a sparkling water. Thank you. 156 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,000 Can I have also have a salad, please? 157 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,520 That's the last one. 158 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,640 They're too small to share. 159 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:45,400 Do you want a burger? 160 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,200 What I'd like is a salad, please. 161 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,560 Oh, shh! Come on. Sorry. 162 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,360 Just have a salad on the weekend. 163 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:53,600 Chips. 164 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,159 Joy. 165 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,880 One of those guys thinks he's a player 166 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,880 cos he sits there squinting at the cards all night. 167 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:17,400 Clueless. 168 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:18,560 Guess how much I won. 169 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:19,800 I don't know. Tell me. How much? 170 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,640 Four-and-a-half grand. Wow, that is brilliant. 171 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,360 Then I played a smaller game and I won another two. 172 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:27,880 No way. Just straight on? 173 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:29,040 Yep. 174 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,920 I'm so in, all right? I'm totally in. I'm... I'm... 175 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,360 Yes, you know, to all of that. 176 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:34,799 But, erm... 177 00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:37,799 Er, listen, about the other thing, you know, the tranqs. 178 00:08:37,799 --> 00:08:40,039 Could you write me a script for, like, a week? Is that possible? 179 00:08:40,039 --> 00:08:43,280 Oh, can't you get Carla to massage your aura? 180 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:48,080 No, Pete. I'm asking you, you know? I'm... 181 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:51,480 I'm working very hard right now to stay on top of my shit, OK? 182 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,600 I'm veggie. Veggie, yeah? 183 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,040 That shit'll kill you. 184 00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:58,200 Have a bacon sandwich. 185 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,680 And we're meditating. 186 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:07,880 It's happening right now. 187 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,360 Come on, now. Five minutes. 188 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:10,520 Oh, come on. 189 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:11,680 Now. 190 00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:13,920 Five fucking minutes. 191 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,200 Hurry up. Oh, why bother? 192 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,880 This is pathetic. 193 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:18,880 You're doing it all wrong. 194 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:20,920 You're doing it all wrong. 195 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,040 Shut up! 196 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:23,240 No, the rates are whatever. 197 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:30,880 We can talk, OK? You know, I mean, I'm just saying I'm around, 198 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,840 so bear me in mind. 199 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,680 Give us a shout. 200 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:37,280 All right, Trish. Thanks. Bye. Bye. 201 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,280 Hey. Hey, Theo. 202 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,560 What's up? Daniel. Yeah. 203 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:46,920 Daniel Sands. How are you? 204 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,280 HE CHUCKLES 205 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:49,800 All righty. Maybe not. 206 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,520 Yeah, I would. Yeah, I would. I absolutely would. 207 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,680 I... Half the rate, whatever, you know, because what I'm saying 208 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,320 is I'm available, you know? 209 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,960 I'm around. I am... I am just around. 210 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,840 OK. 211 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,480 The whole campaign, like, from beginning to end, 212 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,320 the three stages of you need these brushes, 213 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,040 why don't you have these brushes yet? 214 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:11,840 Maybe you don't want to be alive. 215 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,760 I just thought that was so... The way you bridged it. 216 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,000 Hurt me and pay me. 217 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,640 Just pay me, you motherfucker. 218 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:19,080 It could be High Wycombe all over again, all right? 219 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,600 Fish permits. 220 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,880 Take it easy. Bye, bye. 221 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,040 You motherfucker. 222 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,600 Yeah? Listen, just give me a sec. 223 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,240 Back in a minute. 224 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,800 Hey. 225 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,720 Hey. 226 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:36,840 What would you like? 227 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,600 What did you choose? Yeah. 228 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:39,920 For lunch? 229 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,800 Lunch, yeah. Lunch. 230 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,240 What's the... What's the flapperola? 231 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,520 Oh, that's an omelette. Mm. 232 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:51,520 It's nice? It's very nice. 233 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,640 You do it with, like, herbs or...? 234 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,360 We've got basil and chive in there. 235 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:57,800 Would you like that? 236 00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,960 Me? No, I don't... I don't eat eggs. 237 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,800 OK. 238 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,960 How come you asked about it? 239 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,240 Sorry. Give us the... I'll have the... Give us the... 240 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:06,720 Give us the pasta. 241 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,920 There isn't one. 242 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,360 Is there a sandwich? If there's a sandwich, I'll have a sandwich. 243 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,600 There's 14. Oh, sorry. 244 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,320 Give me that. I'll have that. 245 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:18,000 You want the dream cakes? You know that's a dessert, right? 246 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,560 Yes. Give it to me, please. 247 00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:21,960 OK. 248 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,520 Coming right up. 249 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:25,920 Yeah. OK. 250 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:26,960 With her ginger balls cake hidden from sight in the oven, 251 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,320 Jodi makes a start on the icing... 252 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,960 Come on, then! 253 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,120 I'm ready. 254 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,040 Eyes closed. Promise. 255 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,440 OK. Oh, I knew this would happen eventually. 256 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:40,840 Everyone's just giving me things cos they realise how amazing I am. 257 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,760 What is it? Don't tell me. What is it? 258 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,920 Night-vision goggles and a claw hammer. Come on. 259 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,040 Seriously, what is it? Crisps. Come on. 260 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,080 Oh... 261 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,560 Wow. 262 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,040 Jesus. 263 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,480 What? You're welcome. 264 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,560 I'm sorry I've been so stressed about looking for work. 265 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,320 I take it you'll be teasing me deliciously 266 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,680 in the usual swoony back-to-front pants and dead bear T-shirt? 267 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:22,520 You don't even know me. I've got loads of T-shirts, 268 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,840 I don't have a single one with a bear. 269 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,640 Yeah, but they all make you look like a dead bear, 270 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,120 lying there, full of chips. 271 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,240 Now I can crawl on top of you, 272 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:32,840 all snuggly in my bunting as I asphyxiate. 273 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,120 Can we talk? 274 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,880 Anything for my pimp. 275 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,360 You don't have to turn off... 276 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,320 Spill. 277 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:46,560 I love you. 278 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:48,800 Oh, this is good. 279 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:55,680 And? 280 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:58,560 What, Dan? 281 00:12:58,560 --> 00:12:59,720 I hate the curtains.