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Last time
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in this potentially award-winning history
of human civilization,
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I showed you how our ancestors
underwent a sudden spiritual awakening
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like my Aunt Carol.
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Like Carol,
they found exciting gurus to follow.
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But unlike her,
they didn't leave their husband
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to live on a farm in Wales with them,
alongside eight other women,
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in a situation I can't discuss further
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as it's currently under investigation
by North Wales Police.
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Our world changed forever,
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as religious messages
of tolerance and forgiveness
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inspired mankind to fight like rats
in a shoe for hundreds of years.
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But the world was about
to have its mind expanded
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and then split at the seams
by a different kind of higher calling.
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Humankind was about
to undergo a renaissance
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by having the Renaissance,
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here on the same planet
we still use today,
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a glistening space rock known as Earth.
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It's the year 1440.
Not now, but then, in 1440.
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And a new invention is about to spark
a blaze beneath the bush of possibility.
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Centuries earlier,
the Chinese had invented printing,
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but no one in Europe paid attention
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until the printing press
was invented again
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by a German called
Johannes "Steve" Gutenberg.
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Gutenberg's press
was the first of its kind in history,
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except Chinese history.
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Did the printing press
actually change anything of significance?
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If Gutenberg hadn't invented printing,
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which meant that ideas could be
communicated throughout the world,
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our culture would not have developed
in the same way as it has.
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So in many ways, he has made the world
our modern world today.
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So that's your idea of significant?
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The first book to be printed
on Gutenberg's press was the Bible.
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But as well as spreading the word of God,
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it spread the word of scientists,
philosophers, and eventually Dan Brown.
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Writing new books takes a long time,
so to give their presses something to do,
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people reached back through time
in search of old material to repackage.
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That's how the philosophy
of ancient Greece
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suddenly came back in fashion
and blew minds.
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At the time, most people's lives were
as grim and joyless as my Uncle Martin.
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Their only hobbies were doing
backbreaking work, dying of the plague,
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or being tortured.
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As far as they were concerned,
this was all there was to life.
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So for them, being exposed
to ancient Greek philosophy
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wasn't boring like it is now,
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but a mind-expanding experience that
transformed the way they saw themselves.
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Like when my mate Paul
ate five ketamine brownies
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and thought he could
communicate telepathically
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with any animal he saw on television.
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Although, whereas Paul ended up
sectioned for his own safety,
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our ancestors decided to change the world.
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This is Florence.
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The Italians call it Firenze
to try and stop tourists from finding it.
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But it's definitely Florence because
we double-checked it on a British map.
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Florence might look
like a pointless mess today,
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but in the 15th century
it was the epicenter
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of an unprecedented artistic
and cultural phenomenon.
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What was "Renai-sauce"?
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Was that a sort of 16th-century ketchup?
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Renaissance comes from
the French "renaissance."
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"Re-naissance."
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Naissance is birth.
So it was seen as a rebirth.
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So it's not a condiment at all.
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-No, not as far as I know.
-Okay.
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What sauces did they use back then?
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So this is an area of culinary history.
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I'm not very familiar
with the history of sauces.
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So you're not the sauce person?
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I'm not predominantly a sauce person.
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We're going to have to rethink
this whole interview.
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During the Renaissance,
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Florence produced artists who,
for the first time in history,
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were competent enough
to create paintings worth looking at.
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One of the most competent paintsmiths
was Botticelli.
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So what's this painting?
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So this is Alessandro Botticelli's
The Birth of Venus.
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It's one of the great paintings
of the Renaissance.
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So do we know if the birth of Venus
actually looked like this?
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Well, it's depicting
a sort of mythical figure,
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so it's sort of metaphorical.
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So it's the idea of a goddess
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who is coming into being,
rather than being born.
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Her neck's very long.
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Was she part giraffe
or could he just not do necks?
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No, her… her neck…
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It's meant to be a sign of beauty
that he would have elongated the neck.
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I've spotted a mistake here. Look.
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He's blowing,
and her hair's all whipping about.
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But look at these trees on the right.
Not moving at all. No wind.
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I think these people have been
photoshopped in.
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It's all fake.
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Other notable artists produced
3D paintings, or sculptures,
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the most famous example
being this very naked man,
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known as "Michelangelo’s David."
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If you manage to look past
his little marble goolies,
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you'll notice
there's an incredible amount of detail
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all over the rest of Michelangelo’s body.
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His eyes have pupils in them
like a Furby does.
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His muscles are really detailed.
Look at his abs.
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They prove gyms are bullshit
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because they didn't have gyms back then,
but look how toned he is.
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Then there's the realistic veins
in the back of his hands,
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carrying statue blood to his fingers.
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Yet, despite all this attention to detail,
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a quick inspection of his back half
reveals he doesn't have an anus.
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It's a baffling omission.
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Maybe the sculptor got embarrassed
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or the model had to leave early that day,
or didn't actually have an anus.
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We just don't know.
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The undisputed master of the Renaissance
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was a human known as Leonardo da Vinci.
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This is The Vitruvian Man.
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It's a drawing made by Leonardo
in about 1490.
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What's it for?
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What's the point of it?
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The point was that Leonardo wanted to know
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how to sketch the human body proportion.
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Just to be clear,
you can see his bits too?
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I'm not imagining that.
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Is there a version of this
with underpants on?
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Oh, no, no, no.
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He thought that was fine, did he?
It's a bit rude, isn't it?
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No, it's not.
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Because, you know, the beauty
of the human body, of course.
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Look at the todger.
You can't say that's beautiful.
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Look at it.
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Leonardo also filled notebook
after notebook with drawings of inventions
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years ahead of their time.
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What's that?
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This is a flying machine.
It's like the helicopter.
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It doesn't look very convincing.
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Like my mate Paul invented
a treadmill for his fiancée's pet snake,
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and the sketches for that
were much more convincing than this.
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And he was on mushrooms.
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Mind you, the prototype
did pull the snake's head off.
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Yeah…
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Worst ending to a birthday party
I've ever been to.
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His inventions were one thing,
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but it's mainly for his paintings
that we know da Vinci today.
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This is the Mona Lisa, an actual painting
that exists in our world and on this wall.
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It's Mona Lisa's enigmatic character
that draws people in.
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Like all women, you simply can't tell
what's going on in her head.
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Just looking at her
prompts so many questions.
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Who is she? What's she smiling about?
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Is she holding a balloon
between her knees?
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And if so, what color is it?
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Has she got a boyfriend? What's his name?
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What's between his knees,
and how can we find out?
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The answer is we can't.
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And that's why people
keep returning every year
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to gaze upon her and wonder,
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then stop wondering and go home.
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As well as looking all right,
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"Da Vinci's work demonstrated mastery
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of the trailblazing techniques
of the age," it says here.
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Before the Renaissance,
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other people's paintings
were in a sort of wonky 2D.
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That's because artists
had no sense of perspective.
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A bit like my mate Paul,
who punched a waiter in a TGI Friday's
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for dropping his banoffee pie.
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Just look at this 14th-century painting
of Jesus having his fateful tea party.
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The dimensions are all wrong.
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The room's squashed up,
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so it looks like it's happening
in the lid of a cardboard box.
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Jesus is twice as big as the others,
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so it looks like he's enjoying
an intimate dinner with some school boys.
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Not a good look.
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And what are those? Bowls or seashells?
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It's just shoddy craftsmanship.
Absolutely disgraceful.
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Shouldn't even be in a museum.
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But da Vinci's reboot of the same painting
is a different story.
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He knew how to perspective
the fuck out of things.
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Look at the angles of the walls
in The Last Supper and the table there.
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You almost feel like you could crawl
inside it and betray Jesus yourself.
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Perspective was
a huge leap forward for human art,
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on a par with the release
of Crash Bandicoot centuries later.
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There's no denying the Renaissance
was a pretty big deal for civilization.
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Just how important it was
is for experts to decide.
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Which was more culturally significant,
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the Renaissance
or "Single Ladies" by Beyoncé?
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They both have their period
and they both have their time.
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Um…
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Beyoncé I'm rather fond of,
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but what the Renaissance
was trying to do
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was to reform culture as a whole,
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and whatever Beyoncé does, I don't think
she's quite got that ambition.
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So, what, the work
of a few straight white men
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just blows Beyoncé out of the water?
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Is that what you're saying, on camera?
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The Renaissance
might have been expanding minds,
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but without programs
like this around to educate them,
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people were still largely ignorant
about the planet they were living on.
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Ask a medieval peasant where
America was and you'd get a blank look.
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Or, worse still, the plague.
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That's because to them,
the world map looked like this,
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a garbled mass of the countries
they'd discovered so far,
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all squashed together,
with America nowhere to be seen.
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But one man changed all that:
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Italian sailor and detective
Christopher Colombo.
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Colombo thought that if he sailed
off the edge of the map,
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he'd reappear on the other side
like Pac-Man.
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It would be a shortcut to India,
and he'd shake off any ghosts on his tail.
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It was a huge risk.
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If Colombo was right,
he'd be a millionaire.
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If he was wrong, he'd be a laughingstock.
But a dead one.
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And he could live with that,
which is why he set sail.
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Colombo failed to find India,
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but his ship eventually
bumped into the New World,
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Planet Earth Part Two, aka America.
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And before long,
others were following in his wake.
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This is Plymouth.
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Gathered here in 1620 was a group
of pilgrims who yearned for a better life.
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Which isn't surprising because,
like I say, this is Plymouth.
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The Pilgrims leapt into their water
mobile, or boat, the Starship Mayflower
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and bravely sailed across
this drawing of the Atlantic Ocean
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to arrive on the other side,
still in Plymouth.
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They must have been devastated.
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Luckily, it turned out this Plymouth
wasn't the one they'd just left.
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At first, the European colonists
found life in the New World hard.
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Luckily, some Native Americans
taught them how to grow corn
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and where to fish.
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In exchange, the colonists
introduced the Native Americans
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to smallpox.
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The settlers never forgot what
the Native Americans had done for them,
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although they did ignore it
when they massacred them years later.
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While the New World
was undergoing massive change,
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a controversial breakthrough
was brewing in the Old World.
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It's the early 1600s,
and this stupidly dressed scientist
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is about to change the way
mankind sees itself forever.
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His name is Galileo,
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one of the few figures in history
to become so famous,
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they're known by just one name.
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Like Churchill, Pepsi or Garfield.
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Galileo's full name was
Galileo Figaro Magnifico, wasn't it?
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00:13:00,683 --> 00:13:04,043
I'm not sure that's right. I don't know--
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That's what it says
in "Dominican Rhapsody."
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00:13:06,843 --> 00:13:08,523
Are you thinking of "Bohemian Rhapsody"?
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00:13:08,603 --> 00:13:09,923
What was his name then?
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00:13:10,003 --> 00:13:13,403
Well, as far as I'm aware,
his name was Galileo Galilei.
240
00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:16,603
-Galileo Galilei?
-Yes.
241
00:13:16,683 --> 00:13:19,843
That's like me being called
Philomena Philomenei.
242
00:13:20,923 --> 00:13:22,563
Actually, I quite like that.
243
00:13:22,643 --> 00:13:25,763
Galileo invented a telescope so powerful,
244
00:13:25,843 --> 00:13:28,403
he could watch people
getting changed on the Sun.
245
00:13:28,483 --> 00:13:31,643
Bloody hell.
This makes everything look massive.
246
00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:34,123
Have you had a go on this yet?
It's amazing.
247
00:13:35,163 --> 00:13:39,043
How did you do that?
Are you the real Galileo or an actor one?
248
00:13:40,843 --> 00:13:42,203
Was the real one busy?
249
00:13:42,963 --> 00:13:45,643
Galileo's astronomical smart arsery
250
00:13:45,723 --> 00:13:49,403
led him to a discovery so shocking,
the Pope shat his hat off.
251
00:13:50,243 --> 00:13:53,323
According to the Old Testament,
the Sun goes around the Earth,
252
00:13:53,403 --> 00:13:55,003
not the other way around.
253
00:13:55,083 --> 00:14:00,003
So as far as the church was concerned,
Galileo was calling the Bible a liar.
254
00:14:00,083 --> 00:14:01,843
Rather than overreact,
255
00:14:01,923 --> 00:14:04,963
they did the Christian thing
by accusing him of heresy
256
00:14:05,043 --> 00:14:08,203
and finding him guilty
in a corrupt show trial.
257
00:14:08,283 --> 00:14:12,363
Galileo was sentenced to spend
the rest of his life under house arrest
258
00:14:12,443 --> 00:14:14,563
on a planet
with the Sun spinning around it.
259
00:14:14,643 --> 00:14:17,003
The church thought the Sun
went round the Earth,
260
00:14:17,083 --> 00:14:20,083
but Galileo thought
the Earth went round the Sun.
261
00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:22,283
Whose side are we on here?
262
00:14:22,363 --> 00:14:24,723
We are most definitely on Galileo's side,
263
00:14:25,483 --> 00:14:27,443
as I think the church is today.
264
00:14:27,523 --> 00:14:31,283
Is it possible they were both right and
the Sun and Earth go round each other?
265
00:14:31,363 --> 00:14:34,843
That would keep everyone happy.
Can we just agree on that?
266
00:14:34,923 --> 00:14:38,323
If only he'd invented
some kind of immortality engine
267
00:14:38,403 --> 00:14:40,323
instead of his pointless telescope,
268
00:14:40,403 --> 00:14:43,843
Galileo might have lived
to see his ideas accepted.
269
00:14:43,923 --> 00:14:46,683
Sadly, he simply wasn't that clever.
270
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:51,683
Like science, the world of philosophy
was also expanding,
271
00:14:51,763 --> 00:14:53,963
thanks to massive thinkers like this man.
272
00:14:54,563 --> 00:14:57,283
Who was Jim Des Cartes?
273
00:14:57,923 --> 00:15:02,843
Well, I don't know
who Jim Des Cartes might be,
274
00:15:02,923 --> 00:15:06,723
but I do know that René Descartes
is often thought of
275
00:15:06,803 --> 00:15:08,923
as the founder of modern philosophy.
276
00:15:09,003 --> 00:15:12,803
What did he mean
by "I think therefore I am"?
277
00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:16,403
Descartes meant that
278
00:15:17,363 --> 00:15:19,843
self-awareness,
279
00:15:19,923 --> 00:15:22,323
self-consciousness,
280
00:15:22,403 --> 00:15:26,763
is the defining feature of human identity.
281
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:31,603
So hang on, if I think therefore I am,
what about other people?
282
00:15:31,683 --> 00:15:34,043
Do they think therefore they am?
283
00:15:34,123 --> 00:15:37,163
How can I tell
if they're thinking therefore they am?
284
00:15:37,243 --> 00:15:41,203
Or am I just thinking
they think therefore they am,
285
00:15:41,283 --> 00:15:44,683
but actually they're not real
and I'm only thinking they am?
286
00:15:44,763 --> 00:15:48,283
Are you thinking
therefore you am right now?
287
00:15:48,363 --> 00:15:50,123
Well, I wouldn't want to say that
288
00:15:50,203 --> 00:15:55,243
my existence is dependent upon my thought,
289
00:15:55,323 --> 00:15:59,363
but that is not the claim
that Descartes wants to make.
290
00:15:59,443 --> 00:16:02,163
Is it possible to think
you're someone else?
291
00:16:02,243 --> 00:16:07,443
Like, if I thought really hard
that I was Eddie Murphy,
292
00:16:08,163 --> 00:16:10,603
could I eventually become him?
293
00:16:10,683 --> 00:16:14,363
If I did become him, would he become me
294
00:16:14,443 --> 00:16:16,603
or would he just disappear?
295
00:16:17,163 --> 00:16:19,603
Did Des Cartes ever cover this stuff?
296
00:16:20,923 --> 00:16:26,283
No. That's not a topic that Descartes
is covering as far as I'm aware.
297
00:16:26,363 --> 00:16:28,323
Why not?
298
00:16:28,403 --> 00:16:30,963
Descartes inspired
an intellectual movement
299
00:16:31,043 --> 00:16:32,803
known as the Enlightenment,
300
00:16:32,883 --> 00:16:35,603
during which metrosexual elitists
published essays
301
00:16:35,683 --> 00:16:39,803
that expanded humankind's horizons
in a manner that will go unmatched
302
00:16:39,883 --> 00:16:44,403
until the 1989 release of Belgian
techno anthem "Pump Up the Jam."
303
00:17:30,122 --> 00:17:32,122
The man trapped inside this painting
304
00:17:32,203 --> 00:17:35,603
is Enlightenment philosopher
Jean-Jacques Rousseau,
305
00:17:35,683 --> 00:17:39,163
a name so French, he might as well
have been called Pierre Baguette,
306
00:17:39,243 --> 00:17:40,323
but wasn't.
307
00:17:40,403 --> 00:17:42,363
Which is why I didn't call him that.
308
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:48,123
Rousseau wrote, "Man is free
but is everywhere in chains."
309
00:17:48,203 --> 00:17:52,163
He dreamed of a new society in which
people were masters of their own destiny.
310
00:17:52,803 --> 00:17:57,203
It was the same dream that was tempting
colonists to the New World in droves…
311
00:17:57,283 --> 00:17:58,483
and boats.
312
00:17:59,363 --> 00:18:03,563
After arriving in America to forge a life
of honest, hard work and toil,
313
00:18:03,643 --> 00:18:07,003
many of these colonists quickly discovered
they couldn't be arsed,
314
00:18:07,083 --> 00:18:10,683
so they stole people from Africa
and made them do it instead.
315
00:18:10,763 --> 00:18:14,563
You might think these were precisely
the people Rousseau had been talking about
316
00:18:14,643 --> 00:18:17,403
when he said mankind needed
to throw off its chains.
317
00:18:17,483 --> 00:18:18,923
But they weren't.
318
00:18:19,003 --> 00:18:21,843
Like many humanists,
he'd found a clever loophole.
319
00:18:21,923 --> 00:18:25,923
By not thinking of slaves as human,
he was free to not give a shit.
320
00:18:26,003 --> 00:18:28,163
As luck would have it, around this time,
321
00:18:28,243 --> 00:18:31,043
the colonists started
getting interested in freedom.
322
00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:33,923
Although as luck wouldn't have it,
323
00:18:34,003 --> 00:18:37,723
it wasn't the slaves' freedom
they were interested in, but their own.
324
00:18:37,803 --> 00:18:42,443
The British colonies were ruled
by king and line drawing George III.
325
00:18:43,243 --> 00:18:48,443
But the relationship between old England
and the New World was getting frosty.
326
00:18:48,523 --> 00:18:53,643
What started the tension between
the British and the Americans?
327
00:18:53,723 --> 00:18:56,483
Was it because you say cookies
and we say biscuits
328
00:18:56,563 --> 00:18:59,443
and you say sidewalk and we say pavement?
329
00:18:59,523 --> 00:19:00,883
Because I find in a relationship,
330
00:19:00,963 --> 00:19:03,603
it's those little things
that start to grate after a while.
331
00:19:03,683 --> 00:19:05,323
It was worse than that.
332
00:19:05,403 --> 00:19:08,163
Britain decided they were going
to tax the colonies
333
00:19:08,243 --> 00:19:09,963
and this hadn't happened before.
334
00:19:10,043 --> 00:19:13,003
So it was a disagreement
over money, basically.
335
00:19:13,083 --> 00:19:17,003
It's like the situation
between me and my ex, Sean.
336
00:19:17,083 --> 00:19:21,523
Uh, when we used to get takeaway,
or takeout, as you call it,
337
00:19:21,603 --> 00:19:26,283
um, sometimes, you know, he would
always insist that we go halves
338
00:19:26,363 --> 00:19:31,243
and yet he would want to buy things
like onion bhajis, which he knows I hate,
339
00:19:31,323 --> 00:19:33,203
and they made his breath stink.
340
00:19:33,283 --> 00:19:36,723
-Mm.
-So, but I had to pay for half of that.
341
00:19:36,803 --> 00:19:40,243
That doesn't seem fair to me.
Does it to you?
342
00:19:41,003 --> 00:19:42,403
Put that way, no.
343
00:19:42,483 --> 00:19:45,283
No. And that's from a professor, Sean.
344
00:19:47,123 --> 00:19:49,763
Finally, in Boston in 1773,
345
00:19:49,843 --> 00:19:52,723
a group of colonists decided
they'd had enough.
346
00:19:52,803 --> 00:19:57,283
So when the people in Boston
got angry with the British,
347
00:19:57,363 --> 00:20:01,283
why did they just hold a prissy Tea Party
348
00:20:01,363 --> 00:20:04,643
instead of having a proper fight
like British men would?
349
00:20:04,723 --> 00:20:09,083
Why has there always been this big
cowardly streak in the Americans,
350
00:20:09,163 --> 00:20:10,363
even to this day?
351
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:14,043
Well, the only cowardly streak
in that, I suppose,
352
00:20:14,123 --> 00:20:17,443
is that they dressed
themselves up as Indians
353
00:20:17,523 --> 00:20:19,283
and no one said who their names were.
354
00:20:19,363 --> 00:20:21,403
But would you voluntarily,
355
00:20:21,483 --> 00:20:24,603
when you didn't have to, go to jail?
356
00:20:26,523 --> 00:20:29,243
It depends what facilities
they had, I think.
357
00:20:29,923 --> 00:20:32,843
Disrespecting our tea was one thing,
358
00:20:32,923 --> 00:20:36,203
but an even nastier slap
in the tits was to come.
359
00:20:36,283 --> 00:20:40,443
In 1776, the leaders
of the 13 colonies decided
360
00:20:40,523 --> 00:20:44,683
that they didn't want to be called
British anymore, but Americans.
361
00:20:44,763 --> 00:20:48,723
This straight, white supergroup
known as the Founding Fathers
362
00:20:48,803 --> 00:20:51,723
drafted the most famous
breakup text in history,
363
00:20:51,803 --> 00:20:54,323
the Declaration of Independence.
364
00:20:54,403 --> 00:20:57,843
All the men you see here
became idols if you're American.
365
00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,803
Otherwise, they're just not all that.
366
00:21:00,323 --> 00:21:04,243
It led to all-out war
between American and British.
367
00:21:04,323 --> 00:21:06,923
Because no one
had invented camouflage yet,
368
00:21:07,003 --> 00:21:10,043
the British troops of the time
wore bright red coats
369
00:21:10,123 --> 00:21:14,083
and were consequently shot
in their thousands, while looking amazing.
370
00:21:14,843 --> 00:21:18,603
This painting depicts
one of the war's most pivotal events:
371
00:21:18,683 --> 00:21:21,603
George Washington
crossing the Delaware River.
372
00:21:21,683 --> 00:21:24,963
As you can see, he had to stand up
for the whole journey
373
00:21:25,043 --> 00:21:26,803
because he hadn't reserved a seat.
374
00:21:26,883 --> 00:21:29,923
He didn't fall in,
but he also didn't help with the rowing,
375
00:21:30,003 --> 00:21:32,003
which must have been annoying.
376
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:36,483
Eventually, Washington won,
becoming America's first president,
377
00:21:36,563 --> 00:21:39,083
the single most revered role in the world,
378
00:21:39,163 --> 00:21:41,083
until 2016.
379
00:21:41,723 --> 00:21:45,283
Washington and the other founding daddies
wrote the Constitution,
380
00:21:45,363 --> 00:21:47,683
an instruction manual
for their new country,
381
00:21:47,763 --> 00:21:51,523
containing some of the most influential
political concepts ever.
382
00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:55,923
I read somewhere that America
isn't just a country, but an idea.
383
00:21:56,563 --> 00:21:59,203
But it is just a country, isn't it?
384
00:21:59,283 --> 00:22:01,643
Well, it was founded under an idea,
385
00:22:01,723 --> 00:22:03,723
so it's organized around…
386
00:22:03,803 --> 00:22:05,963
has always been organized around the idea
387
00:22:06,043 --> 00:22:08,043
that it's a land of liberty for everyone.
388
00:22:08,123 --> 00:22:10,483
Yeah, but, like,
having a sandwich, that's an idea.
389
00:22:10,563 --> 00:22:13,083
Painting your bicycle blue,
that's an idea.
390
00:22:13,163 --> 00:22:15,963
Going… that's an idea.
391
00:22:16,043 --> 00:22:18,483
America is just a place.
392
00:22:19,003 --> 00:22:22,283
The American Revolution
sent shockwaves around the globe,
393
00:22:22,363 --> 00:22:24,043
not to mention the planet.
394
00:22:24,123 --> 00:22:26,283
It hit especially hard in France,
395
00:22:26,363 --> 00:22:29,883
where the common man, or "homme,"
had to scrabble about in the muck
396
00:22:30,603 --> 00:22:34,803
while the rich had got so posh
they'd evolved frills.
397
00:22:34,883 --> 00:22:38,723
Soon, the average Jacques had enough
of their ruler, King Louis XVI,
398
00:22:38,803 --> 00:22:41,443
and his identical wives,
Marie and Toinette,
399
00:22:41,523 --> 00:22:46,363
who enjoyed lavish lifestyles while
the poor were forced to survive on cake.
400
00:22:47,083 --> 00:22:52,043
Finally, in 1789,
it exploded into topless revolution.
401
00:22:52,963 --> 00:22:54,763
The poor toppled the king
402
00:22:54,843 --> 00:22:58,643
and invented a machine that would
rid the world of royalty forever.
403
00:23:00,123 --> 00:23:04,243
The guillotine was specifically designed
to be the most humane way
404
00:23:04,323 --> 00:23:07,843
to decapitate someone
in front of a jeering crowd.
405
00:23:07,923 --> 00:23:12,883
You simply fed a royal, headfirst,
through the chopping hole here.
406
00:23:12,963 --> 00:23:16,843
Then the razor-sharp blade up there
would drop down and slice their head off,
407
00:23:16,923 --> 00:23:19,963
sending it sailing away
from their neck and body.
408
00:23:20,043 --> 00:23:22,723
At that point,
they probably thought they'd escaped.
409
00:23:22,803 --> 00:23:26,683
But any sense of victory was short lived,
because moments later,
410
00:23:26,763 --> 00:23:31,163
they'd land face first into
this horribly coarse wicker basket.
411
00:23:32,883 --> 00:23:35,763
If you look, there's no padding in there,
412
00:23:35,843 --> 00:23:38,403
so the fall would have caused
extensive bruising
413
00:23:38,483 --> 00:23:40,163
and maybe even concussion.
414
00:23:40,243 --> 00:23:41,763
I suppose it could have been worse.
415
00:23:41,843 --> 00:23:43,683
They could have made you
stick your head out of a carriage
416
00:23:43,763 --> 00:23:46,203
and driven really close to a building.
417
00:23:46,283 --> 00:23:50,403
Even so, being guillotined
would have had a huge impact on anyone.
418
00:23:50,483 --> 00:23:52,243
But especially King Louis.
419
00:23:52,323 --> 00:23:56,043
With his head gone, he could never
breed or wear a crown again
420
00:23:56,123 --> 00:23:59,803
and was almost certainly unemployable
in any other line of work.
421
00:23:59,883 --> 00:24:03,163
Perhaps that's why he chose
to withdraw from public life completely
422
00:24:03,243 --> 00:24:04,763
shortly after it happened.
423
00:24:04,843 --> 00:24:07,363
The French Revolution
wasn't the first time
424
00:24:07,443 --> 00:24:11,283
the masses had risen up against the elite,
and it may not be the last.
425
00:24:11,363 --> 00:24:15,283
A lot of revolutions seem to be about
poor people overthrowing the rich.
426
00:24:15,363 --> 00:24:17,683
Do you think billionaires like Elon Musk
427
00:24:17,763 --> 00:24:20,043
should be worried
about getting guillotined?
428
00:24:20,803 --> 00:24:23,323
I think that the French Revolution
429
00:24:23,403 --> 00:24:26,403
certainly made a lot of people
who were powerful
430
00:24:27,043 --> 00:24:29,363
very, very worried about their existence.
431
00:24:29,443 --> 00:24:34,003
I suppose Elon Musk could invent a machine
that chops his own head off electronically
432
00:24:34,083 --> 00:24:35,523
before the mob arrives.
433
00:24:35,603 --> 00:24:39,123
-You know much more about this than I do.
-I'm just guessing.
434
00:24:40,203 --> 00:24:43,883
Soon, France decided it needed
a strong man to take charge of things,
435
00:24:43,963 --> 00:24:46,923
and they got one in the form
of the Emperor Napoleon.
436
00:24:47,003 --> 00:24:50,363
No relation to the Emperor Penguin
as far as we can ascertain at this time.
437
00:24:51,243 --> 00:24:54,483
Napoleon did a load of massive wars
on land and sea,
438
00:24:54,563 --> 00:24:56,883
which remain far too expensive
to properly re-create
439
00:24:56,963 --> 00:24:59,603
in historical documentaries to this day.
440
00:25:02,003 --> 00:25:05,443
Laying sound effects
over a painting of a battle like this
441
00:25:05,523 --> 00:25:08,203
gives some idea
of what it might have been like,
442
00:25:08,283 --> 00:25:10,403
but there was still
a key ingredient missing.
443
00:25:10,963 --> 00:25:13,723
A soundtrack of classical music
was the only thing
444
00:25:13,803 --> 00:25:16,283
that would really bring
these Napoleonic wars to life.
445
00:25:23,843 --> 00:25:26,083
See? Loads better.
446
00:25:26,843 --> 00:25:31,003
And luckily, classical music was being
perfected elsewhere in Europe
447
00:25:31,083 --> 00:25:33,363
by a composer called Beethoven.
448
00:25:34,923 --> 00:25:39,963
Did Beethoven have an actual
full-sized horse living inside his face?
449
00:25:40,843 --> 00:25:42,723
Sorry, I've misphrased that.
450
00:25:42,803 --> 00:25:45,763
I mean, was Beethoven good at music?
451
00:25:47,163 --> 00:25:52,523
Yeah. He's considered to be the best
composer of Western classical music ever.
452
00:25:52,603 --> 00:25:54,603
Beethoven wrote that song that goes…
453
00:25:59,203 --> 00:26:00,843
What do those lyrics mean?
454
00:26:00,923 --> 00:26:04,843
Um… Well, it's a really strong
orchestral motif.
455
00:26:04,923 --> 00:26:07,003
It's just the word "dum"
over and over again.
456
00:26:07,083 --> 00:26:11,083
Is it a dig at his audience,
or is it German for something?
457
00:26:11,163 --> 00:26:16,363
With the Beethoven symphonic music,
it's all just instruments.
458
00:26:16,443 --> 00:26:21,203
So there are no words
to these pieces at all.
459
00:26:21,283 --> 00:26:25,003
No lyrics? How are we supposed to know
what it's about if it doesn't have lyrics?
460
00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:26,883
It's literally meaningless.
461
00:26:27,443 --> 00:26:30,963
Despite enjoying great success
with his pointless tunes,
462
00:26:31,043 --> 00:26:34,323
Beethoven faced huge
personal challenges in his career.
463
00:26:34,843 --> 00:26:39,163
Is it true that in the final years
of his working life, Beethoven was dead?
464
00:26:40,483 --> 00:26:43,203
Well, he was deaf for most of his life.
465
00:26:43,283 --> 00:26:44,323
No, dead.
466
00:26:44,403 --> 00:26:45,923
-Dead?
-Yeah.
467
00:26:47,083 --> 00:26:48,243
No.
468
00:26:48,323 --> 00:26:50,723
The producer wrote it in the notes.
469
00:26:50,803 --> 00:26:54,283
It's definitely here. Let me see.
470
00:26:55,683 --> 00:27:00,363
"In his later years,
Beethoven was profoundly dead."
471
00:27:01,163 --> 00:27:04,203
Profoundly deaf. D-E-A-F.
472
00:27:04,283 --> 00:27:06,283
Obviously he went deaf when he died.
473
00:27:06,363 --> 00:27:10,523
But was he deaf when he was still alive?
474
00:27:11,123 --> 00:27:14,043
Yes, he was profoundly.
Yeah, he was profoundly.
475
00:27:14,123 --> 00:27:16,963
But not dead?
He wasn't dead when he was alive?
476
00:27:17,043 --> 00:27:18,763
No, no. Not.
477
00:27:18,843 --> 00:27:21,883
So how did he write the music
when he was dead?
478
00:27:22,563 --> 00:27:25,723
On 26th March 1827,
479
00:27:25,803 --> 00:27:30,803
Beethoven did roll over and his genius
was thought to be lost forever.
480
00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:32,803
Until now.
481
00:27:32,883 --> 00:27:35,363
Silicon Valley boffins
have re-created his mind
482
00:27:35,443 --> 00:27:40,203
and installed it into this smart speaker,
the B8-Hoven Smart Home+.
483
00:27:40,283 --> 00:27:42,163
Let's see if it works.
484
00:27:42,243 --> 00:27:44,883
B8-Hoven, compose a new symphony.
485
00:27:45,443 --> 00:27:49,163
-Was war das?
-Compose a new symphony.
486
00:27:49,243 --> 00:27:50,723
Where am I?
487
00:27:50,803 --> 00:27:52,963
What? Just compose your thing.
488
00:27:53,043 --> 00:27:54,803
Mein Gott, it is dark in here.
489
00:27:54,883 --> 00:27:57,283
Why am I speaking English?
I cannot see my legs.
490
00:27:57,363 --> 00:28:00,203
Just… play my Friday night playlist.
491
00:28:00,283 --> 00:28:01,643
Playing Friday night playlist.
492
00:28:03,203 --> 00:28:05,123
Why am I doing this?
493
00:28:05,203 --> 00:28:07,883
Mein Gott im Himmel, kill me!
494
00:28:12,363 --> 00:28:15,843
As we've seen,
in just a few hundred years,
495
00:28:15,923 --> 00:28:17,723
humankind had undergone a series
496
00:28:17,803 --> 00:28:20,843
of massive cultural
and political revolutions.
497
00:28:20,923 --> 00:28:24,083
Next time,
I'll show you an even bigger revolution:
498
00:28:24,163 --> 00:28:28,723
an Industrial Revolution
forged in steel, steam, sweat,
499
00:28:28,803 --> 00:28:32,243
planes, trains, automobiles
and planes a gain.
500
00:28:32,323 --> 00:28:34,963
People tried for years
to make an aeroplane.
501
00:28:35,603 --> 00:28:38,363
Why were we so interested
in conquering the sky?
502
00:28:38,443 --> 00:28:41,683
There's nothing up there.
There's not even anywhere to sit.