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[peaceful music playing]
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[woman] This is our planet. Planet Earth.
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It's a planet I'm literally on right now.
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And unless you're watching this
on a long-haul flight
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or while falling off a building,
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chances are, you are too.
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This is the incredible story of how
humankind transformed our world
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from being a load of pointless nature
like this
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to full of modern things like this,
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and how it did it
using nothing more than its hands
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and its imagination, and also tools,
and electricity, and the Internet.
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It's a journey that will take me
to every corner of the globe
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money and pandemic
travel restrictions would allow.
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Getting up close to some of our species'
most stunning achievements.
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And I'll be asking questions…
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Who are you?
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…to leading academics,
clevernauts and expertists
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who will help me unlock
the mystery of human civilization.
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Why do they say it's a mystery
how the pyramids were built
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when it's obviously just
big bricks in a triangle?
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This is not just the story
of the planet we live in.
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This is the story of the world we live on.
Or both.
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So join me, Philomena Cunk,
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for a landmark look
at the world we built together.
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This is Cunk on Earth!
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[epic music playing]
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For billions of years,
there was no civilization on Earth.
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Just animals, plants and gases
getting on and mingling.
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Must have been beautiful, but also boring.
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Until along came a creature that would
change all that: human man.
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Was early man similar to us?
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I mean, was he made out of
the same sort of meat that we are?
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You know, was it… Did it have
a brand name like beef or pork?
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Far as we can tell, they were made
out of the same stuff as us.
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All we have is bones, of course.
And they're exactly the same as our bones.
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We can only assume that the bones were
encased in flesh, something like ours.
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But I'm not aware of any kind of
brand name that they would have had.
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-So it would have just been flesh?
-Just flesh, I think, yes.
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It would be hard to come up with
a brand name for human flesh, wouldn't it?
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Horfe?
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We often assume early men were stupid
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because they had big eyebrows
and said "ugg."
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But in fact,
they were pioneering inventerers.
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They were the first men to use tools,
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which is something most men
have forgotten how to do today,
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which is why they have to get
someone in, a real man.
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How did early man make tools
whilst walking on all fours?
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Well, we don't think that
they walked on all fours for too long.
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We're pretty sure
they were walking upright
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for at least the last two million years.
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So did they make the tools
with their front legs or their hind legs?
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I don't think humans have ever been good
at making things with their feet.
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So, yes, it would have been the front legs
they used for making tools.
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Right. So in leg terms,
it would have been their top legs.
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Yes, I think they would certainly have
used the "top legs" for making tools,
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or arms and hands, as we call them today.
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One thing they did invent was fire,
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which allowed them to see at night
and kept them warm,
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tragically prolonging
their already tedious lives.
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But they had to invent something to do
during the long, boring evenings.
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And that something was art.
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I'm entering a cave, not by mistake
or because I'm a wolf,
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but because I've been specifically asked
to come here by the producers,
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to look at cave art.
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Cave paintings like these
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are one of the first examples
of civilization on Earth.
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Don't worry, it gets better.
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Early cave artists started out painting
whatever was close to hand,
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like their hands.
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Then they branched out into stories.
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Initially, just boring stories
about cows standing still.
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But soon they began creating
white-knuckle fight scenes like this:
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Humans Versus Cows 2D.
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To a caveman, this was the thrilling
equivalent of Fast and Furious Part 7.
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Have any of the cave paintings
been adapted into films?
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Suppose they couldn't get the rights
anyway, though, could they?
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Filmmaking obviously arose much, much
later than the end of the cave paintings.
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So there hasn't been a cave wall
that's been like,
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"Oh my God, that's an incredible story."
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"We need to get Steven Spielberg
to make this."
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It would be hard to come up with a story
that would last an hour and a half
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based on just one panel in a cave.
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Some believe these violent images
were painted as a religious act
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intended to bring good luck
in upcoming battles.
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We don't know why humankind
was at war with the cows,
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and tragically, we never will.
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In fact, we'll probably never even know
the name of the artist or these cows,
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because whoever painted this
is almost certainly dead now.
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Hunting animals every day
was a pain in the arse
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until someone came up with the idea
of also eating plants,
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which were easier to catch
because they couldn't run away.
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This simple act of laziness
led to the invention of farming,
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a huge leap forwards,
which was now more dangerous
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because you might land
on one of the farming implements
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that were suddenly lying around.
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The early farmers grew wheat
and learnt to bake bread.
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They also grew barley, peas and lentils
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so they could have made a passable
vegan burger to put inside the bread.
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But luckily they didn't have to.
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Because they'd also invented this,
the fence,
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a high-tech wooden machine
for containing animals.
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Humans quickly enslaved
sheep, chickens, goats
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and their number-one enemies, the cows.
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Farms became a lot like zoos,
except, of course, in a zoo,
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you can't pick out an animal you like
the look of and kill it and eat it.
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Unless perhaps the zoo itself
is struggling financially
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and the owner's lost all hope.
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Humans turned animals
they couldn't eat or ride
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into pets if they were pretty enough.
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Early man domesticated dogs
for companionship.
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And cats, for whatever we have cats for.
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This was the first time in history
life could be described as cozy.
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People lived in proper houses,
which soon grew to become cities.
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It's hard to believe I'm walking through
the ruins of the first ever city,
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because I'm not.
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That's in Iraq,
which is miles away and fucking dangerous.
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But the remains of it
look pretty much like this,
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so you'd never know
I wasn't actually there
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if I wasn't telling you now by accident.
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Today it's just a dismal load
of bricks and dust.
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But if you use a modern computer
to simulate what it used to look like,
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the results are nothing
short of breathtaking.
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Civilization had begun.
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Who invented civilization?
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Civilization wasn't something
that was invented
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or something that started abruptly.
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We talk about civilization
once humans started agriculture,
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once they started building cities
and creating laws.
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That was something that happened gradually
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in different parts of the world
rather than just being invented suddenly.
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Yeah, so it wasn't just one man
who wanted to remain anonymous.
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No.
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'Cause that would be something
we shouldn't go along with if it was.
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Do you mean we shouldn't go along…
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If it's one man
who wants to remain anonymous,
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there's something a bit shifty
about that, isn't there?
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So civilization was invented
in Mesopotamia
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by person or persons unknown.
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But whoever they were,
they were way ahead of their time.
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Did the Mesopotamians have any of
the same things that we have today?
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-Yes.
-Like what?
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Weapons, jewelry, temples, animals.
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Oh, right. No, I meant like feet
and eyebrows and that sort of thing.
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-Yes.
-They did?
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They had the whole set of organs, holes,
bits that work together
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and bits on the outside,
bits on the inside.
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So they had the same number of holes
and everything.
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As far as science is in a position
to reassure you, yes.
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One of their most significant killer apps
was something we still use to this day:
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the circle.
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Wheels might look complicated
to the likes of you,
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but the way they work is actually simple.
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The circle bit here revolves around
a sort of sticky-out bit in the middle,
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and then as the wheel skin here
pushes against the ground,
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the pressure rolls the entire planet
back and away from you,
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giving you the impression
that you're moving forward,
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which, incredibly, you actually are.
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The wheel allowed people
to travel around trading things,
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but first they needed to count
how many things they owned.
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And that led
to the tragic invention of maths.
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Let's talk maths and numbers.
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Were numbers
worth less back in ancient times
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or did they have the same value
as now, only bigger?
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Numbers had the same value
as they do now in ancient times, yeah.
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People still needed to count things.
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And did they have
the same number of numbers as we do?
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You know, from 1 to 700,
with 700 being the biggest number?
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700 has never been the biggest number.
You can count to as many as you like.
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No, no, I saw a thing on YouTube.
After 700, numbers repeat.
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They just give them different names
so you think they're still going up.
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Do you want me to send it to you?
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With numbers going as high,
but no higher than, 700,
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people needed something
to help them count.
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That's where this came in.
It's called "a-bacus."
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Using "a-bacus," our ancestors could count
how many possessions they owned.
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It was a short step from this
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to the invention of money,
in the form of cash.
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Ancient people invented currency
to make life on Earth easier,
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but in doing so,
they inadvertently invented capitalism,
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which is gonna kill everyone.
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Sorry, that's not a question.
It's just something I read on Twitter.
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Having conquered numbers,
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humankind moved on to something
even more boring by inventing writing.
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Was the invention of writing
a significant development
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or more of a flash in the pan,
like rap metal?
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I think once writing was thought up,
once it appeared in the world,
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it was unstoppable.
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So it was much, much bigger
than rap metal then?
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-Yes, much bigger.
-What about acid jazz?
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Um… hmm…
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I still would put writing ahead of it.
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No, I just wondered what you thought
of acid jazz.
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What's this?
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[Finkel] It's a cast.
It's not the real thing.
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It purports to stand in for a Mesopotamian
clay tablet written in cuneiform writing,
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the first kind of writing that appeared
in the world, writing on clay tablets.
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As books go, I have to say
it's quite a boring cover, isn't it?
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It doesn't even look
like it opens properly.
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Are you one of the people
that judges a book by the cover?
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-Yeah, I am.
-Well, that's a sad and misguided view.
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If someone shouted this aloud,
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would that have been
the first audio book?
203
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No.
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Writing changed the world.
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Suddenly ideas didn't have to disappear
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just because the person
whose head they were trapped in had died.
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Instead, you could
convert your ideas into writing,
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and then anyone else could come along
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and upload those ideas
into their own brain
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by wirelessly importing them
through their eyes.
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Incredibly, despite being invented
thousands of years ago,
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writing still exists today,
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underneath video clips
that we watch online.
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00:12:35,723 --> 00:12:40,043
It's here you'll also find another kind of
handmade language that still endures:
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emoji.
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Or as the ancient Egyptians who invented
them called them, hieroglyphics.
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They told whole stories
in hieroglyphic code.
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It's like a more coherent Marvel comic.
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Rather than being put up in public
where living people could enjoy them,
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these Egyptian comic strips
were painted on the walls of tombs
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to entertain dead people.
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And those tombs lay beneath
some of the most recognizable,
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not to mention pointiest,
buildings in history.
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I'm talking about the pyramids.
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Looking at the pyramids today,
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it's impossible not to be struck
by the thought
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that they're basically big triangles
with a sort of square arse.
228
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There's probably a word for that shape,
but no one knows what it might be.
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It's one of the many timeless
mysteries of the pyramids.
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Why are pyramids that shape?
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Is it to stop homeless people
sleeping on them?
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I don't think they had many
homeless people in ancient Egypt.
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Did they not?
234
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No, no, people looked after each other,
I think, and helped each other.
235
00:13:39,803 --> 00:13:42,243
Right. I suppose it's good
with rain as well,
236
00:13:42,323 --> 00:13:44,283
because it'll just roll off.
237
00:13:44,363 --> 00:13:46,523
How did Egyptians build the pyramids?
238
00:13:46,603 --> 00:13:50,763
Did they start at the top and work down
or start at the bottom and work up?
239
00:13:50,843 --> 00:13:53,243
They had to start at the bottom
and work up because
240
00:13:53,323 --> 00:13:56,323
it would be impossible
to start at the top and work down.
241
00:14:00,123 --> 00:14:01,283
The Egyptians believed
242
00:14:01,363 --> 00:14:04,403
the most significant thing
you could do in your life was die.
243
00:14:04,483 --> 00:14:08,363
And the more important you were,
the more complicated your death had to be.
244
00:14:08,443 --> 00:14:11,563
Egyptian kings were known as pharaohs,
245
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:15,603
and when they died, they'd get turned
into mummies of Scooby-Doo fame.
246
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:20,923
The ancient Egyptians were obsessed
with dead people, weren't they?
247
00:14:21,003 --> 00:14:24,923
But they're all dead themselves now.
So do you think they still feel that way?
248
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:28,323
The ancient Egyptians
weren't obsessed with dead people,
249
00:14:28,403 --> 00:14:30,563
but actually they were obsessed with life.
250
00:14:30,643 --> 00:14:31,923
They wanted to be alive,
251
00:14:32,003 --> 00:14:35,123
and they wanted to make sure that
when they died, they came alive again.
252
00:14:35,203 --> 00:14:37,403
And that's why they did mummification.
253
00:14:37,483 --> 00:14:41,723
So how did they mummify people?
Talk me through the process.
254
00:14:41,803 --> 00:14:46,203
Uh, you'd get your dead body
and you'd lay it out on a table
255
00:14:46,283 --> 00:14:47,763
and then you'd wash it,
256
00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:49,723
and then you'd start
by removing the brain.
257
00:14:49,803 --> 00:14:53,963
And then they would cut open
down the middle of the body
258
00:14:54,043 --> 00:14:56,683
and they would take out anything
that they thought would rot.
259
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:59,283
And then they would cover it
in salt and dry it out,
260
00:14:59,363 --> 00:15:03,043
and then they would wrap it in bandages,
and then that would be a mummy.
261
00:15:03,123 --> 00:15:06,963
So the kind of spa treatment that
Gwyneth Paltrow has on a weekly basis.
262
00:15:07,923 --> 00:15:10,883
Has a mummy ever ridden a bicycle?
263
00:15:10,963 --> 00:15:12,443
Not that I know of, no.
264
00:15:12,523 --> 00:15:14,843
But the ancient Egyptians
didn't have bicycles.
265
00:15:14,923 --> 00:15:17,043
-Right.
-They didn't even have roads.
266
00:15:17,123 --> 00:15:20,283
So they couldn't have a bicycle
because they couldn't ride a bicycle.
267
00:15:20,363 --> 00:15:22,003
I don't know why I asked that.
268
00:15:22,083 --> 00:15:25,123
I just couldn't think
of anything else to say.
269
00:15:27,003 --> 00:15:31,163
While the pharaohs of Egypt
left a legacy of temples and tombs,
270
00:15:31,243 --> 00:15:32,483
across the water,
271
00:15:32,563 --> 00:15:35,603
an even more impressive empire
was appearing.
272
00:15:35,683 --> 00:15:38,443
Greece, the country, not the musical,
273
00:15:38,523 --> 00:15:41,643
was where
the birth of civilization was born.
274
00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:44,963
The ancient Greeks invented lots of things
we still have today,
275
00:15:45,043 --> 00:15:46,763
like medicine and olives,
276
00:15:46,843 --> 00:15:51,443
and lots of things that have died out,
like democracy and pillars.
277
00:15:52,083 --> 00:15:57,283
As well as these impressive ruins,
the ancient Greeks also developed culture
278
00:15:57,363 --> 00:16:01,963
in the form of yoghurt
and theatre in all its tedious forms.
279
00:16:02,043 --> 00:16:04,203
The Greeks were into tragedies.
280
00:16:04,283 --> 00:16:09,323
In a tragedy, sad things happen
like people dying or killing themselves.
281
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:13,123
But the ancient Greek tragedies
happened ages ago.
282
00:16:13,203 --> 00:16:16,083
Are the things
that happened in them still sad?
283
00:16:16,163 --> 00:16:17,563
They are still sad
284
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:22,123
because what the tragedies tell
are stories about humans,
285
00:16:22,203 --> 00:16:24,323
who we can relate to in some cases.
286
00:16:24,403 --> 00:16:27,803
But it was so long ago. Why should I care?
287
00:16:27,883 --> 00:16:32,643
Well, again, tragedy is often
about human situations.
288
00:16:32,723 --> 00:16:35,443
Even today,
if you found out that by accident
289
00:16:35,523 --> 00:16:39,603
you'd killed your own father and married
your mother, you'd be quite upset,
290
00:16:39,683 --> 00:16:41,123
um, just as Oedipus was.
291
00:16:41,203 --> 00:16:45,643
Maybe I'm cold, but I just don't give
a shit about people in ancient Greece.
292
00:16:45,723 --> 00:16:47,763
That's a shame.
293
00:16:47,843 --> 00:16:52,203
-Do you?
-I do care quite a lot. Yeah, it's my job.
294
00:16:52,283 --> 00:16:57,043
My mate Paul wrote a story about a man
who got a new potato stuck up himself
295
00:16:57,123 --> 00:16:59,403
following an ill-advised sex game.
296
00:16:59,483 --> 00:17:01,843
And he wrote that
in the form of a limerick.
297
00:17:01,923 --> 00:17:04,443
No one died, but it sounds horrendous.
298
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,483
Is that a tragedy,
299
00:17:06,563 --> 00:17:11,083
or would the potato have to take root
and kill him for it to qualify?
300
00:17:11,162 --> 00:17:14,043
It sounds like
a very unfortunate incident.
301
00:17:14,122 --> 00:17:17,323
I'm not sure it has
a more timeless relevance
302
00:17:17,402 --> 00:17:19,043
that might make it a tragedy.
303
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,323
Paul said it really happened as well.
304
00:17:21,402 --> 00:17:23,603
Honestly, he's had such
a time of it lately.
305
00:17:23,683 --> 00:17:25,402
He really needs a holiday.
306
00:17:27,043 --> 00:17:32,642
The Greeks also created a kind of theatre
for stupid people, known as sport.
307
00:17:32,723 --> 00:17:35,963
They started the Olympic Games
without inviting other countries
308
00:17:36,043 --> 00:17:38,083
to ensure Greece would win.
309
00:17:38,723 --> 00:17:42,643
The contenders at these early Olympics
took part completely naked,
310
00:17:42,723 --> 00:17:46,003
partly because an athletic physique
was considered a virtue,
311
00:17:46,083 --> 00:17:48,683
but mainly because Lycra wasn't available.
312
00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:54,083
I heard that at the early Olympics,
athletes had to compete in the nude.
313
00:17:54,163 --> 00:17:56,443
So they did compete naked.
314
00:17:56,523 --> 00:18:02,363
And there are writings about this
being quite an erotic sight in some cases.
315
00:18:02,443 --> 00:18:05,283
With wrestling,
with all that wriggling about,
316
00:18:05,363 --> 00:18:07,963
they'd have seen right up
their bumholes and everything.
317
00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:11,083
Couldn't they censor it for people
watching it in the auditorium,
318
00:18:11,163 --> 00:18:13,163
modesty patches or something,
319
00:18:13,243 --> 00:18:16,283
or ask people to close their eyes
each time someone bends over?
320
00:18:18,603 --> 00:18:20,603
I think that probably
wouldn't have worked.
321
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:23,123
But you'd have seen
right up their bumholes.
322
00:18:23,723 --> 00:18:26,083
In some cases people might have done.
323
00:18:26,163 --> 00:18:29,163
Did Zeus really approve of that?
324
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:34,563
But perhaps the most famous form
of wrestling the Greeks invented
325
00:18:34,643 --> 00:18:36,563
was mental wrestling.
326
00:18:36,643 --> 00:18:40,163
Philosophy is basically
thinking about thinking,
327
00:18:40,243 --> 00:18:43,083
which sounds like a waste
of time because it is,
328
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:46,043
although a philosopher might argue
that that time they've wasted
329
00:18:46,123 --> 00:18:48,003
never existed in the first place,
330
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:50,323
at which point you'd probably
give up talking to them
331
00:18:50,403 --> 00:18:52,083
and open a packet of biscuits.
332
00:18:53,923 --> 00:18:56,323
These are the ancient Greek philosophers.
333
00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:59,603
Not the actual ones,
they'd be a load of dust and bones now.
334
00:18:59,683 --> 00:19:01,403
Maybe some teeth if you're lucky.
335
00:19:01,483 --> 00:19:04,523
These are just clever simulations
made of rock.
336
00:19:05,203 --> 00:19:09,523
The Greek philosophers came up with
bold new theories about life on Earth.
337
00:19:09,603 --> 00:19:12,043
That's why we still know
their names today,
338
00:19:12,123 --> 00:19:15,243
even though they haven't put out
any new material in ages.
339
00:19:15,323 --> 00:19:16,883
Socrates,
340
00:19:16,963 --> 00:19:18,483
Pythagoras,
341
00:19:18,563 --> 00:19:19,843
this one,
342
00:19:19,923 --> 00:19:21,123
him.
343
00:19:22,043 --> 00:19:23,643
And this is Plato.
344
00:19:23,723 --> 00:19:28,563
As you can see, even now, centuries after
his death, he's still deep in thought,
345
00:19:28,643 --> 00:19:31,003
concocting clever theories in his head.
346
00:19:31,083 --> 00:19:33,723
If only we could hold a microphone
to the side of his brain
347
00:19:33,803 --> 00:19:36,323
and hear them for ourselves, but we can't.
348
00:19:36,403 --> 00:19:37,883
And even if we could, they'd be in Greek,
349
00:19:37,963 --> 00:19:41,243
which no one
on our production team can speak.
350
00:19:41,323 --> 00:19:44,003
Plato handed his wisdom on to a student
351
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:47,843
who would become one of the most
influential thinkers of all time:
352
00:19:47,923 --> 00:19:49,083
Aristotle.
353
00:19:49,163 --> 00:19:52,243
Aristotle said a lot of
clever things, didn't he?
354
00:19:52,323 --> 00:19:55,963
My favorite is, "You've got to dance
like nobody's watching."
355
00:19:56,043 --> 00:19:59,523
It's so true,
and you can apply it to anything.
356
00:20:00,723 --> 00:20:04,603
Because my confidence
is quite brittle at times,
357
00:20:04,683 --> 00:20:07,483
and I know I come across
as quite confident,
358
00:20:07,563 --> 00:20:10,603
but sometimes when I'm talking to experts,
359
00:20:10,683 --> 00:20:15,523
I worry that, you know,
I might come across as a bit stupid.
360
00:20:15,603 --> 00:20:19,203
And when I think of
"dance like no one's watching,"
361
00:20:19,283 --> 00:20:20,843
that really helps me, you know?
362
00:20:20,923 --> 00:20:22,603
It's like a gift.
363
00:20:22,683 --> 00:20:25,603
What made Aristotle think of that?
364
00:20:26,723 --> 00:20:30,283
I'm not aware that Aristotle said
that particular thing
365
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:33,043
about dancing when no one's watching.
366
00:20:33,123 --> 00:20:36,803
-I don't think he said that.
-He did, didn't he?
367
00:20:36,883 --> 00:20:39,803
If he did, I don't know
and I don't know why,
368
00:20:39,883 --> 00:20:41,563
but I don't think he did.
369
00:20:42,763 --> 00:20:46,003
Is there something similar
that he might have said,
370
00:20:46,083 --> 00:20:50,323
um… about--
something about one's confidence?
371
00:20:50,403 --> 00:20:51,763
Um…
372
00:20:52,363 --> 00:20:55,163
-I don't think so.
-Right.
373
00:20:57,323 --> 00:20:59,323
Okay.
374
00:21:00,403 --> 00:21:03,603
Experts may disagree
over what they actually said,
375
00:21:03,683 --> 00:21:07,883
but there's no doubt these Greek pioneers
changed the way we think.
376
00:21:07,963 --> 00:21:12,243
Did a philosopher ever think of an idea
so big it split their head open?
377
00:21:13,123 --> 00:21:14,363
Not that I'm aware of.
378
00:21:14,443 --> 00:21:17,963
You know how the human brain
is full of pipes? Philosophers--
379
00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:20,283
-I'm not.
-You didn't know about that?
380
00:21:20,363 --> 00:21:23,163
-I didn't know about that.
-Okay, well, the brain's full of pipes.
381
00:21:23,243 --> 00:21:26,803
You know how philosophers
have these thoughts,
382
00:21:26,883 --> 00:21:31,603
and they try and push these thoughts
through these pipes?
383
00:21:31,683 --> 00:21:33,603
When you're having a big idea,
384
00:21:33,683 --> 00:21:37,763
is it best to break it up into lots of
little thoughts, about the size of peas,
385
00:21:37,843 --> 00:21:40,803
and squeeze them through
in quick succession,
386
00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:45,363
or just bite the bullet and force it
through your mind pipe in one huge clod,
387
00:21:45,443 --> 00:21:48,683
like gritting your teeth
and thinking for dear life?
388
00:21:48,763 --> 00:21:53,843
Well, that's a very interesting way
of describing
389
00:21:53,923 --> 00:21:56,283
two general tendencies in philosophy.
390
00:21:56,363 --> 00:21:59,763
One, the more analytic style,
391
00:21:59,843 --> 00:22:04,923
which means cutting problems up
into bite-sized portions…
392
00:22:05,003 --> 00:22:06,003
Peas.
393
00:22:06,083 --> 00:22:09,323
…and the other a more synthetic approach
394
00:22:09,403 --> 00:22:12,843
which takes on a larger perspective.
395
00:22:12,923 --> 00:22:16,923
So your characterization is, in fact,
396
00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:20,083
a rather intriguing delineation
397
00:22:20,163 --> 00:22:23,963
of two major strands
in current philosophy.
398
00:22:24,043 --> 00:22:25,763
-Is that good?
-Excellent.
399
00:22:25,843 --> 00:22:27,643
Great.
400
00:22:28,403 --> 00:22:33,203
Meanwhile, ancient Greece was being
spread across the globe by this man,
401
00:22:33,283 --> 00:22:35,123
Alexander the Great.
402
00:22:35,203 --> 00:22:38,643
Alexander the Great became a king at 20,
403
00:22:38,723 --> 00:22:41,883
conducted a military campaign
throughout the Middle East,
404
00:22:41,963 --> 00:22:46,363
and had an empire stretching
all the way from Greece to India
405
00:22:46,443 --> 00:22:48,283
by the time he was 30.
406
00:22:48,363 --> 00:22:50,403
What did his hair look like?
407
00:22:51,083 --> 00:22:52,563
I don't know.
408
00:22:54,443 --> 00:22:58,083
And Alexander wasn't
the only megastar with his own empire.
409
00:22:58,163 --> 00:23:02,523
Huge swathes of China
had been unified by Qin Shi Huang,
410
00:23:02,603 --> 00:23:05,483
the first cartoon character
to found his own empire
411
00:23:05,563 --> 00:23:08,003
and build the Great Wall of China.
412
00:23:08,083 --> 00:23:14,323
They say the Great Wall of China
is the only landmark audible from space.
413
00:23:15,243 --> 00:23:17,803
Yeah, you can't… you can't hear it.
414
00:23:17,883 --> 00:23:23,043
And they say that you can see it
from space, but it's not true.
415
00:23:23,123 --> 00:23:25,003
-They've tried.
-So you can't see it from space.
416
00:23:25,083 --> 00:23:28,923
Chinese astronauts have tried to see
the Great Wall and they can't.
417
00:23:29,003 --> 00:23:33,323
They can't see it. So it's invisible.
It's an invisible wall, like a forcefield.
418
00:23:33,403 --> 00:23:38,083
It's only invisible from space.
On the ground you can certainly see it.
419
00:23:38,163 --> 00:23:41,883
That's so weird, isn't it?
Is that one of the great mysteries?
420
00:23:41,963 --> 00:23:47,083
And do we know if China has a roof?
Is there a great roof of China?
421
00:23:47,163 --> 00:23:48,843
No, no great roof.
422
00:23:50,043 --> 00:23:53,643
The Chinese empire was
a powerhouse of intense creativity
423
00:23:53,723 --> 00:23:55,643
and philosophical thought,
424
00:23:55,723 --> 00:23:58,803
captured in historical documents
produced centuries
425
00:23:58,883 --> 00:24:03,763
before the release of unrelated Belgian
techno anthem "Pump Up the Jam."
426
00:24:03,843 --> 00:24:05,843
[techno music playing]
427
00:24:19,043 --> 00:24:21,283
♪ Pump up the jam, pump it up ♪
428
00:24:21,363 --> 00:24:23,003
♪ While your feet are stomping ♪
429
00:24:23,083 --> 00:24:24,923
♪ And the jam is pumping ♪
430
00:24:25,003 --> 00:24:27,243
♪ Look ahead, the crowd is jumping ♪
431
00:24:27,323 --> 00:24:28,883
♪ Pump it up a little more ♪
432
00:24:28,963 --> 00:24:30,723
♪ Get the party going
On the dance floor ♪
433
00:24:30,803 --> 00:24:32,643
♪ See, 'cause that's
Where the party's at ♪
434
00:24:32,723 --> 00:24:35,403
♪ And you'll find out if you do that ♪
435
00:24:35,483 --> 00:24:39,403
♪ I want a place to stay
Get your booty-- ♪
436
00:24:39,483 --> 00:24:42,803
The Greeks had an empire
and the Chinese had an empire.
437
00:24:42,883 --> 00:24:46,403
But when most of us think of the word
"empire," we think of the big one,
438
00:24:46,483 --> 00:24:49,003
Star Wars… or Rome.
439
00:24:49,083 --> 00:24:51,323
And this is history,
so it's Rome, I'm afraid.
440
00:24:51,403 --> 00:24:55,843
Its empire rose to supremacy
under the leadership of Julius Caesar,
441
00:24:55,923 --> 00:24:59,203
the most notorious Roman until Polanski.
442
00:24:59,283 --> 00:25:05,203
One of the reasons we still know a lot
about the Romans today is Wikipedia.
443
00:25:05,283 --> 00:25:08,323
And the reason Wikipedia knows
a lot about the Romans
444
00:25:08,403 --> 00:25:11,083
is because of what happened in Pompeii.
445
00:25:12,483 --> 00:25:15,803
Pompeii was so advanced,
it had its own volcano,
446
00:25:15,883 --> 00:25:18,643
which is Latin for "angry hill."
447
00:25:18,723 --> 00:25:22,003
For years, humans and the volcano
lived in harmony,
448
00:25:22,083 --> 00:25:26,283
until one fateful day they fell out
and the volcano went off,
449
00:25:26,363 --> 00:25:29,803
burying Pompeii
beneath a thick layer of ash.
450
00:25:29,883 --> 00:25:32,843
Everyday life was frozen in its tracks
451
00:25:32,923 --> 00:25:36,403
as though someone had magically
stopped the hands of time
452
00:25:36,483 --> 00:25:38,563
and then shat dust everywhere.
453
00:25:38,643 --> 00:25:41,243
It was deadly at the time,
but on the bright side,
454
00:25:41,323 --> 00:25:45,643
it gave archaeologists a treasure trove of
information about how the Romans lived.
455
00:25:45,723 --> 00:25:51,283
Thanks to the volcano, we know everyday
Romans had grey skin, were totally bald,
456
00:25:51,363 --> 00:25:56,003
and spent their time lying around
inside their shockingly dusty houses.
457
00:25:56,083 --> 00:26:00,723
But it also preserved glimpses
of how sophisticated Roman life was,
458
00:26:00,803 --> 00:26:04,803
with creature comforts
like indoor plumbing and cunnilingus.
459
00:26:04,883 --> 00:26:08,123
The Roman Empire
was years ahead of its time.
460
00:26:08,203 --> 00:26:10,563
People think the Romans
invented loads of things,
461
00:26:10,643 --> 00:26:15,043
but often they only perfected things
that other people had made.
462
00:26:15,123 --> 00:26:19,203
I'll say some things and you tell me
if the Romans invented them
463
00:26:19,283 --> 00:26:20,363
or just perfected them.
464
00:26:20,443 --> 00:26:22,643
Right? Invented or perfected.
465
00:26:22,723 --> 00:26:23,683
Test me.
466
00:26:23,763 --> 00:26:26,803
-Underfloor heating.
-Invented.
467
00:26:26,883 --> 00:26:27,883
Ding!
468
00:26:27,963 --> 00:26:30,443
-The calendar.
-Perfected.
469
00:26:30,523 --> 00:26:31,803
[imitates buzzer]
470
00:26:31,883 --> 00:26:35,723
You wallied.
That means you can't answer the next one.
471
00:26:35,803 --> 00:26:36,803
Roads.
472
00:26:36,883 --> 00:26:42,043
Well, the roads were invented by Persians
and plenty of people knew about roads.
473
00:26:42,123 --> 00:26:44,043
You wallied anyway,
you can't answer that one.
474
00:26:44,123 --> 00:26:46,043
-Oh, right.
-Concrete.
475
00:26:46,123 --> 00:26:47,163
Invented.
476
00:26:47,243 --> 00:26:48,163
Ding!
477
00:26:48,243 --> 00:26:49,603
The alphabet.
478
00:26:49,683 --> 00:26:53,723
Definitely did not invent it, and probably
didn't really perfect it either.
479
00:26:53,803 --> 00:26:54,683
I mean, that's sort of…
480
00:26:54,763 --> 00:26:56,603
-Gotta pick one.
-Have I?
481
00:26:56,683 --> 00:26:57,523
Yeah.
482
00:26:58,283 --> 00:27:00,283
Um… I mean, perfected is wrong--
483
00:27:00,363 --> 00:27:03,403
Ding! Anal bleaching.
484
00:27:03,483 --> 00:27:05,723
-What?
-Anal bleaching.
485
00:27:06,363 --> 00:27:07,803
[softly] Anal bleaching?
486
00:27:07,883 --> 00:27:09,043
Um…
487
00:27:10,363 --> 00:27:13,483
-I've no idea what they would have done.
-Go on, give it a go.
488
00:27:13,563 --> 00:27:15,803
-I don't know what it is.
-It's when they bleach your arse.
489
00:27:15,883 --> 00:27:18,243
-Really?
-Yeah. Lighten it up.
490
00:27:19,083 --> 00:27:23,043
Not around my way, they don't.
But anyway, I've no idea with that. Pass.
491
00:27:23,123 --> 00:27:25,283
Invented or perfected, you can't pass.
492
00:27:28,323 --> 00:27:31,963
-Bleaching?
-Yep. Bleaching the arsehole.
493
00:27:35,203 --> 00:27:37,683
Um… okay. Well, I'll say
they invented it, but…
494
00:27:37,763 --> 00:27:38,923
[imitates buzzer]
495
00:27:39,003 --> 00:27:39,963
[epic music playing]
496
00:27:40,043 --> 00:27:42,723
Just a few hundred thousand years ago,
497
00:27:42,803 --> 00:27:45,683
humans had been living in caves
like animals.
498
00:27:45,763 --> 00:27:49,603
Now, following a series of technological
and cultural breakthroughs,
499
00:27:49,683 --> 00:27:52,043
we were living in cities, like people.
500
00:27:52,123 --> 00:27:55,803
Looking around ancient Rome,
our ancestors could have been forgiven
501
00:27:55,883 --> 00:27:59,203
for feeling almost as smug
as James Corden.
502
00:27:59,283 --> 00:28:01,163
But little did the Roman Empire know
503
00:28:01,243 --> 00:28:03,643
it was about to come up
against its biggest challenge:
504
00:28:03,723 --> 00:28:08,363
a man of peace, Jesus Christ Almighty,
street name: son of God.
505
00:28:09,163 --> 00:28:12,763
Next time,
we look at religion and how it spread.
506
00:28:12,843 --> 00:28:16,483
Like memes, but with a whole lifestyle
and clothing line attached.
507
00:28:16,563 --> 00:28:19,403
And we'll be looking at two of the most
important books in history:
508
00:28:19,483 --> 00:28:21,523
the Bible and the Koran,
509
00:28:21,603 --> 00:28:24,963
and finally answering the question,
which is best?