1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
3
00:00:15,561 --> 00:00:18,001
CROWD ROARS
4
00:00:32,321 --> 00:00:34,281
CROWD CHEERS
5
00:00:44,841 --> 00:00:47,041
OK...
INDISTINCT CHATTER
6
00:00:48,881 --> 00:00:50,921
How to talk about memories?
7
00:00:51,441 --> 00:00:52,481
Very unreliable.
8
00:00:53,681 --> 00:00:55,081
What did actually happen?
9
00:00:56,561 --> 00:00:57,761
Flashes, mostly.
10
00:00:57,841 --> 00:00:59,401
Joy, catastrophe.
11
00:01:01,881 --> 00:01:06,001
How to describe a life when it never stops
slipping like sand between your fingers?
12
00:01:06,921 --> 00:01:08,641
How to look at yourself in the mirror
13
00:01:08,721 --> 00:01:11,921
when you step across
the threshold of reflection all the while.
14
00:01:12,521 --> 00:01:14,521
INDISTINCT CHATTER
15
00:01:23,441 --> 00:01:26,321
oK, Pete, if you can now
tilt your head to an angle.
16
00:01:26,441 --> 00:01:29,641
Imagine you're hanging on a cross
and your head is slightly on one side.
17
00:01:29,921 --> 00:01:31,921
CROWD WHISTLES AND CHEERS
18
00:01:34,041 --> 00:01:35,961
There are some concrete memories.
19
00:01:36,041 --> 00:01:38,841
Places. Coventry, 1994.
20
00:01:40,161 --> 00:01:43,281
Most kids were fiddling with
the dog-eared ends of the century.
21
00:01:44,201 --> 00:01:45,361
No, they weren't.
22
00:01:46,321 --> 00:01:48,481
They were going to
the Eagles disco in Bedworth.
23
00:01:49,201 --> 00:01:52,001
I had to stay in behind
the barbed wire of the army camp
24
00:01:52,081 --> 00:01:54,161
whatever military barracks we lived in.
25
00:01:56,281 --> 00:01:58,321
Pull it out backwards, mind your hair a bit.
26
00:01:58,401 --> 00:01:59,521
It's a bit bright, mate.
27
00:01:59,601 --> 00:02:00,921
There you go.
- Fantastic.
28
00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:02,281
Look at all that.
- Beautiful.
29
00:02:02,601 --> 00:02:04,121
Excellent.
- Let me see that.
30
00:02:05,561 --> 00:02:06,881
I was the new kid
31
00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:09,241
always, always, moving always.
32
00:02:10,521 --> 00:02:11,681
I was never a boffin.
33
00:02:12,481 --> 00:02:13,681
I was clever.
34
00:02:14,081 --> 00:02:15,961
I was a dreamer, I was a clown.
35
00:02:17,321 --> 00:02:20,081
I was reading everything,
whatever I could get my hands on.
36
00:02:26,081 --> 00:02:27,601
Now these are my notes.
37
00:02:28,161 --> 00:02:31,641
Writing, scraps of music, songs, poems.
38
00:02:31,721 --> 00:02:34,401
That which can't be captured
in a neat, arranged story
39
00:02:34,481 --> 00:02:36,841
because there is no neat, arranged story.
40
00:02:38,001 --> 00:02:39,521
Now I fall through these scraps.
41
00:02:39,761 --> 00:02:42,961
Doesn't matter how far you fall,
it's how hard you land
42
00:02:43,601 --> 00:02:44,721
and where.
43
00:02:45,001 --> 00:02:46,321
And I landed in a...
44
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,321
well, I landed on a stage.
45
00:02:57,321 --> 00:02:58,681
HARMONlCA PLAYS
46
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:06,121
INDISTINCT CHATTER
47
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:14,801
We lived on a barracks.
48
00:03:14,881 --> 00:03:17,281
There's marching and tanks.
49
00:03:17,441 --> 00:03:20,601
Assault courses,
barbed wire on fences and check posts
50
00:03:20,681 --> 00:03:22,161
and armed soldiers everywhere
51
00:03:22,241 --> 00:03:25,881
and everyone that wasn't a spouse or child
52
00:03:25,961 --> 00:03:27,761
or someone in the army was in uniform
53
00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:30,561
and to go to school,
you had to leave the barracks
54
00:03:30,641 --> 00:03:35,081
or in Northern Ireland, looking under
the cars for bombs before you drove away
55
00:03:35,161 --> 00:03:38,561
or, you know, never, ever telling anyone
your dad was in the army.
56
00:03:38,921 --> 00:03:41,241
He was a sergeant major
and a regimental sergeant major.
57
00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:43,761
He was the man that they
used to keep people in order.
58
00:03:44,041 --> 00:03:46,281
JAZZY SINGING
59
00:03:46,401 --> 00:03:48,401
Stand by your beds! Fall in!
60
00:03:48,481 --> 00:03:49,961
Move yourself! Move!
61
00:03:50,041 --> 00:03:52,881
Him and my mum,
who was a military nurse when they met
62
00:03:52,961 --> 00:03:54,321
and married within a week
63
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:57,521
they had this vision as well
of quite a strict family code
64
00:03:57,601 --> 00:04:01,801
and polishing your shoes,
and no answering back.
65
00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:05,201
Yeah, everything was
revolved around the discipline
66
00:04:05,281 --> 00:04:08,401
and the military life,
so that was that was just the normality
67
00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:13,121
and I think to 12, 13, it was just central
to your identity and your life
68
00:04:13,201 --> 00:04:14,121
and then...
69
00:04:14,801 --> 00:04:18,161
as I got to 14, 15, 16, 17
70
00:04:18,241 --> 00:04:21,721
it became an obstacle to the identity
71
00:04:21,801 --> 00:04:24,361
that was naturally
being forged as I grew up.
72
00:04:24,441 --> 00:04:27,281
Just this idea that, you know,
you couldn't do anything, really.
73
00:04:27,361 --> 00:04:29,401
You know, I just wanted to be elsewhere
74
00:04:29,481 --> 00:04:31,321
or wanted to live in a world
where I didn't...
75
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:33,841
wasn't subjected to barbed wire.
76
00:04:34,401 --> 00:04:37,241
At that point, it was just a question of
how quickly I could get out.
77
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:49,361
I wasn't a particularly good guitarist,
but I knew a few chords
78
00:04:49,441 --> 00:04:51,881
and I had ideas for songs
79
00:04:51,961 --> 00:04:55,041
and they seemed to fit together
with, like, the half-ideas he had.
80
00:04:55,801 --> 00:04:57,801
So even though we didn't
particularly like each other.
81
00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:00,121
It was like two one-legged men, having to...
82
00:05:00,641 --> 00:05:03,481
...strap themselves to each other.
- Two one-legged men split down the middle.
83
00:05:03,561 --> 00:05:06,401
Otherwise you couldn't stand up,
and after a while learned to walk.
84
00:05:06,961 --> 00:05:09,561
We didn't really have an idea of sound or...
85
00:05:09,761 --> 00:05:11,001
even a band, really.
86
00:05:11,081 --> 00:05:14,601
We just always believed
in quite an old fashioned way, in songs.
87
00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:17,801
Complete faith is what we lived inside,
the only thing we had, really.
88
00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:19,481
We didn't have religion and...
89
00:05:20,161 --> 00:05:22,641
I know we had love affairs
and whatever, and drugs
90
00:05:22,721 --> 00:05:26,041
but nothing that really captured you
completely, and songs did that.
91
00:05:26,321 --> 00:05:29,041
I had always lived inside songs,
and so had he.
92
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,321
And then we created our own ones
and that was that.
93
00:05:31,441 --> 00:05:33,801
Our next guests are a terrific
rock and roll band from London
94
00:05:33,881 --> 00:05:36,801
and this is their American
network television debut.
95
00:05:36,881 --> 00:05:39,161
The CD is entitled Up the Bracket.
96
00:05:39,241 --> 00:05:41,121
Please welcome The Libertines.
97
00:05:41,481 --> 00:05:42,761
It's The Libertines.
98
00:05:49,841 --> 00:05:53,321
The Libertines there,
fan-fucking-tastic, yes!
99
00:05:53,401 --> 00:05:56,721
Finally, I think simply the coolest band
on the planet
100
00:05:56,801 --> 00:05:58,441
it is The Libertines!
101
00:05:58,601 --> 00:05:59,841
AUDIENCE CHEERS
102
00:05:59,921 --> 00:06:00,881
There they are!
103
00:06:03,281 --> 00:06:05,121
I'm very excited to have you
on the show.
104
00:06:05,801 --> 00:06:07,881
The thing about The Libertines
that people don't realise
105
00:06:07,961 --> 00:06:10,361
it was just so incredibly exciting
at the beginning.
106
00:06:10,481 --> 00:06:13,361
It was almost like seeing
The Beatles in Hamburg.
107
00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,161
I was never there,
but I imagine it was like
108
00:06:15,241 --> 00:06:16,401
seeing The Beatles in Hamburg.
109
00:06:16,481 --> 00:06:19,481
And the thing about them, Peter and Carl
were so obviously talented
110
00:06:19,561 --> 00:06:21,001
and there was so much going on
111
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:23,321
and the pressure on them
must've just been incredible.
112
00:06:23,401 --> 00:06:25,601
It was just like song after song,
gig after gig
113
00:06:25,681 --> 00:06:29,121
it was like a speeding train
and it was never gonna stop.
114
00:06:29,241 --> 00:06:30,761
And that was what was so exciting.
115
00:06:30,841 --> 00:06:32,601
From one moment,
nobody knew who they were.
116
00:06:32,681 --> 00:06:35,001
Ten minutes later,
everybody wanted a bit of them.
117
00:06:35,081 --> 00:06:36,761
And the winner is...
118
00:06:37,641 --> 00:06:39,601
the winners are The Libertines!
119
00:06:39,881 --> 00:06:41,281
CROWD CHEERS
120
00:06:50,081 --> 00:06:52,481
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
it's been a hell of a year.
121
00:06:54,761 --> 00:06:57,601
Yeah. Listen though,
just give us two seconds, right, Carl...
122
00:06:59,121 --> 00:07:02,281
I knew a simple soldier boy.
123
00:07:03,001 --> 00:07:05,041
Who grinned through life in empty joy.
124
00:07:05,401 --> 00:07:08,161
He slept soundly through
the lonesome dark.
125
00:07:08,841 --> 00:07:11,241
And whistled early with the lark.
126
00:07:11,321 --> 00:07:14,081
And in winter trenches,
cowed and glum
127
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:16,961
with cramps and lice and lack of rum
128
00:07:17,281 --> 00:07:18,801
he put a bullet...
129
00:07:18,881 --> 00:07:21,241
Through his brain,
and no one spoke of him again.
130
00:07:21,881 --> 00:07:24,681
You smug face crowds with kindling eye
131
00:07:24,761 --> 00:07:27,801
who cheer as soldier boys march by.
132
00:07:28,561 --> 00:07:31,241
Sneak home and pray you'll never know
133
00:07:31,321 --> 00:07:33,001
the hell where youth...
134
00:07:33,081 --> 00:07:34,841
...and laughter go.
135
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,441
CROWD CHEERS
136
00:07:39,881 --> 00:07:42,921
"Don't Look Back Into The Sun"
by The Libertines
137
00:08:19,321 --> 00:08:22,241
I know what you asked,
and I'll try to avoid the question.
138
00:08:22,401 --> 00:08:23,681
LAUGHTER ON TV
139
00:08:24,401 --> 00:08:26,041
Let me put it this way.
140
00:08:26,601 --> 00:08:28,161
I follow my nose.
141
00:08:28,521 --> 00:08:31,281
Someday, the whole sky is going to light up
142
00:08:31,361 --> 00:08:33,401
and it's going to say, tilt.
143
00:08:34,921 --> 00:08:36,841
And that's going to be
the end of the world.
144
00:08:37,161 --> 00:08:39,921
"How Does It Feel To Feel"
by The Creation
145
00:09:29,521 --> 00:09:32,761
SINGING INDISTINCTLY
146
00:09:33,081 --> 00:09:36,561
SINGING INDISTINCTLY
147
00:10:12,841 --> 00:10:16,681
obviously, things changed
once Pete broke into Carl's flat.
148
00:10:16,761 --> 00:10:20,681
And there was the prison episode
and the beginning of the second album.
149
00:10:20,761 --> 00:10:22,401
It was just... I don't know.
150
00:10:22,481 --> 00:10:24,441
I think maybe
the pressure got to them too much.
151
00:10:24,521 --> 00:10:27,481
And I know Carl found it really hard.
I'm sure Pete found it really hard as well.
152
00:10:27,561 --> 00:10:28,521
There was just something...
153
00:10:28,601 --> 00:10:30,641
It was a really tough time
for everyone involved.
154
00:10:30,721 --> 00:10:32,121
Heaven knows how it happened.
155
00:10:33,681 --> 00:10:35,561
What's happened in the last year? Um...
156
00:10:35,641 --> 00:10:38,161
More jails, institutions and death.
157
00:10:40,041 --> 00:10:42,281
True love and then true disaster.
158
00:10:42,801 --> 00:10:44,121
A punch up the hooter.
159
00:10:46,161 --> 00:10:49,161
Down the hatch, up the bracket
and all along the watchtower.
160
00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:55,121
Were you sometimes afraid
or worried by the dark sides of Peter?
161
00:10:56,441 --> 00:10:57,561
It got worse.
162
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:05,561
First time I realised I had habit,
a heroine dependency
163
00:11:06,001 --> 00:11:07,761
was when The Libertines went to Japan.
164
00:11:08,441 --> 00:11:10,641
Which would've been quite soon
after we got signed, I think.
165
00:11:10,721 --> 00:11:13,721
And it was on the aeroplane,
I started withdrawing and I...
166
00:11:14,961 --> 00:11:17,281
I realised, I mean, I knew it was coming.
I wasn't daft.
167
00:11:17,361 --> 00:11:19,241
I knew that it was addictive
168
00:11:19,321 --> 00:11:20,681
and it just had never...
169
00:11:21,641 --> 00:11:24,681
Never been without it long enough
to feel the effects of withdrawal.
170
00:11:24,761 --> 00:11:28,441
And I was on the aeroplane, you know,
with this new up-and-coming band
171
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,561
the world at our feet,
and I realised that I was a...
172
00:11:33,721 --> 00:11:34,881
a heroin addict.
173
00:11:36,561 --> 00:11:39,841
And I remember coming off the plane,
and sweating and a bit sick
174
00:11:39,921 --> 00:11:42,281
and I remember Carl sort of
looking at me knowingly
175
00:11:42,361 --> 00:11:45,481
and everyone else just thought
I was a bit travel sick.
176
00:11:45,561 --> 00:11:47,521
I didn't even know,
I didn't care to be honest
177
00:11:47,601 --> 00:11:49,921
who was watching or who knew,
I just opened my guitar case
178
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:53,001
lifted the guitar,
and just saw this lump of foil.
179
00:11:53,841 --> 00:11:55,761
And meanwhile,
the dogs had come straight for me
180
00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:58,881
and because of the photographers,
it was like, "Welcome to Japan.
181
00:11:58,961 --> 00:12:00,681
Really sorry about the dogs,
they get a bit excited."
182
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:03,521
I'm thinking yeah, they get a bit excited
when they smell fucking heroin.
183
00:12:05,041 --> 00:12:08,001
Went back to the hotel, bang,
I'm smoking it.
184
00:12:08,081 --> 00:12:10,001
And it was then I realised that...
185
00:12:10,961 --> 00:12:12,921
I was dependent on this stuff.
186
00:12:13,961 --> 00:12:17,161
But I remember the change
being almost instant.
187
00:12:17,241 --> 00:12:18,321
FINGERS CLICK
Bing.
188
00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:21,281
Felt on top of the world,
felt $1,000,000.
189
00:12:22,281 --> 00:12:24,201
Down to the lobby,
"Right, what's going on?"
190
00:12:24,281 --> 00:12:26,161
And everyone was like
"oh, Pete, you look really well"
191
00:12:26,241 --> 00:12:29,761
and I remember Carl saying to me,
"Yeah I was a bit worried, mate
192
00:12:29,841 --> 00:12:30,961
when I saw you at the airport.
193
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:34,081
You looked really pale and sick
and you looked like death.
194
00:12:34,161 --> 00:12:36,761
I thought, to be honest,
I thought you had a heroin habit.
195
00:12:37,161 --> 00:12:39,161
But look at you now.
196
00:12:39,241 --> 00:12:41,361
You look better than you've ever looked,"
you know.
197
00:12:41,441 --> 00:12:42,881
I'm like, "Yeah don't worry about me."
198
00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:51,081
A kind of disbelief really, at first,
that it would actually happen
199
00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:53,681
which then evolved into...
200
00:12:53,761 --> 00:12:56,041
a disintegration, really, of spirit.
201
00:12:56,761 --> 00:12:57,721
So, it was betrayal
202
00:12:57,801 --> 00:13:00,601
and in the same way,
he saw my drug use as betrayal
203
00:13:00,681 --> 00:13:03,601
of some unspoken rule he had in his mind.
204
00:13:03,881 --> 00:13:05,601
He thought I was letting him down
205
00:13:05,681 --> 00:13:08,561
and that I was just going to stop doing
what I'd just discovered
206
00:13:08,641 --> 00:13:09,921
and quite enjoying.
207
00:13:17,001 --> 00:13:20,481
Babyshambles was created in a way
that I was able to sustain my own...
208
00:13:20,561 --> 00:13:23,841
you know, my own destiny
no matter how corrupt that was.
209
00:13:24,081 --> 00:13:27,161
The thing with those three records,
the two Libertines records
210
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:30,681
and the Babyshambles records,
they capture something about England.
211
00:13:30,761 --> 00:13:33,441
They're full of Englishness,
they're full of the Albion, shall we say.
212
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:37,961
They're incredibly poetic records
and full of life and melody and energy.
213
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:41,681
And even though they may not have
maybe looked upon at the time
214
00:13:41,761 --> 00:13:44,801
I think in years to come, people
are going to really love those records.
215
00:13:45,081 --> 00:13:47,641
"Albion" by Babyshambles
216
00:14:48,281 --> 00:14:49,721
So you haven't slept last night?
217
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:53,121
Not really, not in the end.
That's five days I went, nearly.
218
00:14:53,481 --> 00:14:55,681
I know,
I'm starting to talk to the furniture.
219
00:14:56,961 --> 00:14:59,681
Well, I'm not surprised really,
after what that sofa did to me.
220
00:15:00,281 --> 00:15:01,401
It stole my keys.
221
00:15:01,641 --> 00:15:03,561
And it made me think
that this French bloke had done it.
222
00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:06,201
A really nice, innocent Frenchman.
223
00:15:06,481 --> 00:15:07,641
If such a thing exists.
224
00:15:23,481 --> 00:15:25,521
GIRL IN FRENCH:
225
00:15:34,161 --> 00:15:36,441
Sorry, guys, the French van's late.
226
00:15:36,961 --> 00:15:39,401
I had to get off the fucking train, like...
227
00:15:43,201 --> 00:15:45,121
That's why we're so late, you know.
228
00:15:57,361 --> 00:16:00,481
You've got no idea,
we've been through hell and high water.
229
00:16:01,721 --> 00:16:04,201
Four and a half hours,
we've been on this train now.
230
00:16:04,281 --> 00:16:06,041
It's an absolute joke.
231
00:16:06,321 --> 00:16:08,801
I don't know if you can hear me,
but listen, I'm going to...
232
00:16:10,401 --> 00:16:12,041
I'll try and do this for you, like...
233
00:16:12,161 --> 00:16:14,481
HE STRUMS "THE GOOD OLD DAYS"
234
00:16:42,641 --> 00:16:44,601
CROWD HOLLERS
235
00:16:52,801 --> 00:16:54,561
CROWD CHATTERS
- HORN HONKS
236
00:17:31,601 --> 00:17:33,601
CROWD SCREAMS
237
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:37,001
INDISTINCT... playing songs for
people who won't listen to them.
238
00:17:37,201 --> 00:17:39,841
I can go anywhere I like
in England tonight.
239
00:17:39,921 --> 00:17:42,601
Come to a room full of people
who talk shit while I play, so...
240
00:17:43,401 --> 00:17:45,681
There's no point carrying on,
you know what I mean?
241
00:17:45,761 --> 00:17:47,281
Thank you, you're a gentleman.
242
00:17:47,361 --> 00:17:50,761
So to everyone who's listening
and who's into it, thank you.
243
00:17:50,841 --> 00:17:52,321
To everyone who's talking
244
00:17:52,401 --> 00:17:55,681
I'm really sorry to interrupt deep
conversation with my silly songs, right?
245
00:17:55,761 --> 00:17:57,321
So on one hand, thank you.
246
00:17:57,401 --> 00:18:00,721
On the other hand, fuck you, right?
OK, cheers.
247
00:18:00,881 --> 00:18:02,641
CROWD WHISTLES AND CHEERS
248
00:18:17,321 --> 00:18:19,961
So maybe I was wrong,
you're not scared of death?
249
00:18:20,081 --> 00:18:21,481
What, scared of it?
250
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,041
Yeah.
- No.
251
00:18:23,121 --> 00:18:25,961
That's the one thing I'm not scared of,
I'm scared of everything else.
252
00:18:26,161 --> 00:18:28,641
That's why we didn't get to
the cashpoint just now.
253
00:18:28,721 --> 00:18:30,121
Fucking petrified.
254
00:18:30,801 --> 00:18:31,721
Why?
255
00:18:32,481 --> 00:18:33,561
Why? Well...
256
00:18:34,641 --> 00:18:37,521
because of the way I dress,
because of the way I feel.
257
00:18:40,961 --> 00:18:43,321
I think I've done that a lot
in my life as well.
258
00:18:43,401 --> 00:18:45,641
I've got myself in situations
with people and then
259
00:18:45,721 --> 00:18:49,001
just turned instantly, switch, freak out.
260
00:18:50,561 --> 00:18:53,441
So I've never been able to
explain to them.
261
00:18:53,521 --> 00:18:56,241
They must just think,
"What the fuck's wrong with him?"
262
00:18:56,321 --> 00:18:58,681
Like. Actually, I've...
263
00:18:58,761 --> 00:19:00,601
It's almost like a snap...
264
00:19:02,521 --> 00:19:05,201
in my head,
and all of a sudden there's...
265
00:19:07,041 --> 00:19:08,481
it's just not, like, healthy.
266
00:19:08,561 --> 00:19:11,841
Like, you know, I need to be just sat.
267
00:19:12,001 --> 00:19:15,121
What I was thinking of
was getting back right here.
268
00:19:15,681 --> 00:19:18,881
Exactly here,
exactly where we were, right?
269
00:19:21,881 --> 00:19:24,361
GUITAR PLAYS SOFTLY
270
00:19:45,161 --> 00:19:48,161
Memories of a love-hate
relationship with the stage
271
00:19:48,641 --> 00:19:50,881
and I'm scared but I'm exhilarating.
272
00:19:57,841 --> 00:20:00,201
If the whole world tells you
you are the one
273
00:20:00,281 --> 00:20:03,721
I defy you not to believe them,
my son.
274
00:20:04,121 --> 00:20:06,241
And I see you judging me
275
00:20:06,321 --> 00:20:08,721
people on the street,
and in the subways
276
00:20:08,801 --> 00:20:10,881
and all kinds of different sandwich shops
277
00:20:10,961 --> 00:20:14,481
and remember that look
every time you go on stage.
278
00:20:23,281 --> 00:20:26,201
So you're petrified of life, but still...
279
00:20:27,721 --> 00:20:31,121
it must be so violent then,
when you go on stage then?
280
00:20:34,321 --> 00:20:35,881
Before, just before?
281
00:20:37,201 --> 00:20:38,841
Yeah, you know that though, don't you?
282
00:20:41,001 --> 00:20:41,921
Yeah.
283
00:20:42,001 --> 00:20:44,601
It's impossible, it's killing me.
It's killing me.
284
00:20:44,681 --> 00:20:46,561
It kills me every time. It's murder.
285
00:20:47,481 --> 00:20:48,921
It's the horrors, I...
286
00:20:52,761 --> 00:20:56,001
I... I knew it, but I knew it from...
287
00:20:56,441 --> 00:21:01,681
Because even for something
like me or anybody... anybody...
288
00:21:02,881 --> 00:21:05,721
oK, let's put in between brackets,
"normal"
289
00:21:07,081 --> 00:21:09,681
which is not the right word at all,
but you get me.
290
00:21:10,721 --> 00:21:12,961
To go on stage is scary
291
00:21:13,041 --> 00:21:15,881
but to go to the ATM
292
00:21:15,961 --> 00:21:19,081
and on the way, getting petrified
293
00:21:19,161 --> 00:21:20,641
is not happening to me.
294
00:21:23,041 --> 00:21:24,001
Yeah.
295
00:21:27,521 --> 00:21:29,641
Yeah, that'd be something simple, right?
296
00:21:30,001 --> 00:21:30,881
Yeah.
297
00:21:52,521 --> 00:21:54,921
HE MUTTERS
298
00:22:03,481 --> 00:22:05,401
It's just what I do naturally.
299
00:22:05,481 --> 00:22:07,441
It's what comes to me,
it's who I am.
300
00:22:08,121 --> 00:22:11,161
And it's how I define myself
when I'm sat with a pencil
301
00:22:11,241 --> 00:22:13,361
or guitar or my typewriter.
302
00:22:14,081 --> 00:22:15,281
It's immediate.
303
00:22:15,881 --> 00:22:17,041
I need to create
304
00:22:17,121 --> 00:22:19,281
and burrow into these holes and tunnels
305
00:22:19,361 --> 00:22:21,401
under the city, in the hillside.
306
00:22:24,121 --> 00:22:27,161
If I haven't slept,
then life is turgid and dark
307
00:22:27,241 --> 00:22:28,881
and dangerous and dramatic
308
00:22:28,961 --> 00:22:31,041
instant and controversial.
309
00:22:33,081 --> 00:22:36,401
When I've slept, then life is beautiful,
you know...
310
00:22:36,841 --> 00:22:39,401
melodic and peaceful and creative.
311
00:22:40,001 --> 00:22:43,161
Let's just say after three or four days
without sleep
312
00:22:43,241 --> 00:22:45,321
it becomes quite a dark tunnel
that I inhabit.
313
00:22:45,401 --> 00:22:47,881
But on the whole, on the surface
314
00:22:47,961 --> 00:22:49,121
it's not so dark.
315
00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:50,361
No. Yeah.
316
00:23:01,761 --> 00:23:03,761
CROWD ROARS
317
00:23:08,481 --> 00:23:11,081
The great thrill comes from playing live
318
00:23:11,361 --> 00:23:14,921
but there was always an element of
walking up to the gallows, maybe.
319
00:23:15,481 --> 00:23:18,881
Not like nerves or being worried
about anything in particular, I think.
320
00:23:18,961 --> 00:23:21,961
It's just some unspecific,
unnameable terror.
321
00:23:23,081 --> 00:23:25,921
Maybe anxiety just comes from
the anticipation of
322
00:23:26,001 --> 00:23:28,081
being so close to that fevered state.
323
00:23:28,561 --> 00:23:31,641
It's like the narcotic effect,
you know, of driving music
324
00:23:31,721 --> 00:23:33,521
and the driving energy.
325
00:23:33,681 --> 00:23:37,401
Like there's some trap door
being pulled out from underneath you.
326
00:23:37,601 --> 00:23:39,481
But more often than not, you just, like...
327
00:23:39,561 --> 00:23:41,921
you swing down to a joyous place,
you know?
328
00:23:49,201 --> 00:23:50,361
My mum's from Anfield.
329
00:23:50,441 --> 00:23:51,721
I was never a Liverpool fan
330
00:23:51,801 --> 00:23:53,881
but, you know, all that side of
the family's from Anfield.
331
00:23:53,961 --> 00:23:56,161
It was expected that I would be,
because I love football
332
00:23:56,241 --> 00:23:58,401
but Dad supported QPR and that's
always been my team
333
00:23:58,481 --> 00:24:00,401
but the first games
I went to were at Anfield.
334
00:24:00,761 --> 00:24:02,321
I think I was four or five
335
00:24:02,401 --> 00:24:05,801
and my dad got a couple of tickets
and we were sat around the halfway line
336
00:24:05,881 --> 00:24:08,281
but I spent the whole game
just watching the Kop, you know
337
00:24:08,361 --> 00:24:09,681
and this would've been the mid-'80s
338
00:24:09,761 --> 00:24:11,681
so you can imagine what it was like.
339
00:24:12,161 --> 00:24:14,921
A throbbing, writhing mass of bodies
340
00:24:15,001 --> 00:24:18,001
which would occasionally break into
something completely unified
341
00:24:18,081 --> 00:24:20,961
seemingly spontaneous,
you know, in that very small area
342
00:24:21,041 --> 00:24:23,521
25,000 people crushed together
343
00:24:23,601 --> 00:24:25,481
all suddenly burst into the same song
344
00:24:25,561 --> 00:24:28,161
or the same hand gesture
or raising scarves
345
00:24:28,241 --> 00:24:30,121
or anything that tribal.
346
00:24:30,281 --> 00:24:32,521
That fascinated me much more
than the football.
347
00:24:34,921 --> 00:24:37,081
Going to a match
and singing and screaming
348
00:24:37,161 --> 00:24:38,321
and shouting and jumping around
349
00:24:38,401 --> 00:24:40,441
and then when the Taylor Report kicked in
350
00:24:40,521 --> 00:24:43,321
and the terraces disappeared
and they put seats in
351
00:24:43,401 --> 00:24:45,321
it killed it for me, to be honest.
352
00:24:45,401 --> 00:24:48,601
It was like being asked to go to a disco
and not being able to dance or something.
353
00:24:48,681 --> 00:24:49,921
That was everything for me
354
00:24:50,001 --> 00:24:53,121
was to be part of that unit
impassioned and together
355
00:24:53,201 --> 00:24:56,241
and that's what really
attracted me to music
356
00:24:56,321 --> 00:24:59,121
cos I thought I'm never gonna
score a goal and see the crowd go nuts.
357
00:24:59,441 --> 00:25:00,921
But that was always what I wanted.
358
00:25:12,281 --> 00:25:14,241
CROWD SCREAMS
359
00:25:16,001 --> 00:25:18,521
Just to see bodies in chaos
360
00:25:18,601 --> 00:25:21,441
and just a need for chaos and frenzy
361
00:25:21,521 --> 00:25:23,521
so you can fully
express everything.
362
00:25:25,281 --> 00:25:27,361
I love being part of it.
I love watching it.
363
00:25:27,641 --> 00:25:31,441
And then the first sort of gigs
I went to, I thought, fuck yeah.
364
00:25:31,521 --> 00:25:32,801
It can still happen, you know?
365
00:25:33,161 --> 00:25:35,521
CROWD WHISTLES AND ROARS
366
00:25:47,481 --> 00:25:51,241
Early Stone Roses gigs were like,
equivalent of religious experiences
367
00:25:51,321 --> 00:25:53,121
to that generation,
same as The Smiths.
368
00:25:53,201 --> 00:25:54,481
They were a religious experience.
369
00:25:54,561 --> 00:25:57,161
I felt that, I felt an affinity to that.
370
00:25:57,481 --> 00:26:00,081
But it was like I'd come
after Jesus had died, you know?
371
00:26:01,481 --> 00:26:04,761
The Beatles did a lot of seated theatres
to screaming teenage girls.
372
00:26:04,841 --> 00:26:06,081
It was a different vibe, you know.
373
00:26:06,561 --> 00:26:09,201
When the lyrics or the poetry
of punk combined with
374
00:26:09,281 --> 00:26:10,721
that rock and roll energy
375
00:26:10,801 --> 00:26:13,881
it created a new crowd,
which was more a mosh pit.
376
00:26:14,121 --> 00:26:16,921
Like exactly the same as
a football terrace, you know.
377
00:26:19,961 --> 00:26:23,001
Tapped into something ancient,
built into our DNA.
378
00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:25,281
And I thought, fuck, you know,
it can still...
379
00:26:25,601 --> 00:26:27,681
it can still happen.
People still do...
380
00:26:27,761 --> 00:26:29,481
believe, if you like, you know.
381
00:26:30,441 --> 00:26:33,321
So we put extra hours
into building a church.
382
00:26:34,921 --> 00:26:36,281
CROWD NOISE FADES
383
00:26:37,881 --> 00:26:40,001
HE STRUMS
384
00:26:46,521 --> 00:26:49,081
Does Magna Carta
mean nothing to you?
385
00:26:50,241 --> 00:26:52,121
Did she die in vain?
- LAUGHTER ON TAPE
386
00:26:52,241 --> 00:26:55,121
Now sit that chicken wing down!
387
00:26:55,441 --> 00:26:57,241
I'm acting my own stuff.
388
00:26:57,641 --> 00:26:59,601
INDISTINCT CHATTER
389
00:27:00,081 --> 00:27:02,401
RAUCOUS GIGGLING
390
00:27:04,121 --> 00:27:05,801
Chicken sandwich!
- Wait a second!
391
00:27:05,881 --> 00:27:07,121
You're a good guy!
392
00:27:07,441 --> 00:27:09,241
GUITAR PLUCKS
393
00:27:16,721 --> 00:27:18,841
TAPE WARBLING
394
00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:23,721
I don't remember having that done.
395
00:27:24,201 --> 00:27:28,001
I was so drunk, they shouldn't have done it
cos apparently I could hardly walk.
396
00:27:28,081 --> 00:27:29,241
And...
397
00:27:30,361 --> 00:27:32,281
I was with two of my friends
and they have tattoos as well
398
00:27:32,361 --> 00:27:34,041
but I don't remember having it done.
399
00:27:34,121 --> 00:27:36,121
I woke up and I was like "Oh, my God."
400
00:27:45,401 --> 00:27:47,201
No, he's a good guy, but...
401
00:27:47,681 --> 00:27:51,001
again, he has his moments, you know,
when he's been awake for too long or...
402
00:27:51,361 --> 00:27:53,921
He can be a bit silly.
But we all can, you know.
403
00:27:54,081 --> 00:27:56,881
But mainly, most of the time,
he's too nice.
404
00:27:56,961 --> 00:27:58,881
He's nicer than most people,
that's for sure.
405
00:28:00,081 --> 00:28:02,001
He's a very loyal person.
406
00:28:03,081 --> 00:28:04,481
Who needs the television?
407
00:28:05,281 --> 00:28:08,681
Well, we can edit that and have me in
like a flying kick, knocking him out.
408
00:28:09,721 --> 00:28:12,201
THEY PLAY INSTRUMENTS
409
00:28:22,641 --> 00:28:24,841
Hard drugs entered my life
410
00:28:25,681 --> 00:28:28,721
and slowly, slowly
411
00:28:29,241 --> 00:28:31,001
very quickly took control.
412
00:28:31,641 --> 00:28:35,441
I think I'd always had this
air of mystery and fantasy
413
00:28:35,561 --> 00:28:38,681
about laudanum and opium and cocaine
414
00:28:38,761 --> 00:28:42,681
and Kubla Khan, Chatterton,
Hunter Thompson.
415
00:28:44,041 --> 00:28:49,001
So this horrible little wrap that I had
of skanky, cheap street-quality heroin
416
00:28:49,081 --> 00:28:52,281
in my mind became like a sacred key
417
00:28:52,361 --> 00:28:53,801
to another dimension.
418
00:29:06,161 --> 00:29:09,401
I was working in a bar at that time
in Amwell Village
419
00:29:09,481 --> 00:29:11,681
in London, called Filthy MacNastiy's
420
00:29:11,761 --> 00:29:14,801
and I remember
I had it in my pocket one night
421
00:29:15,401 --> 00:29:19,121
and I remember closing up
at the end of my shift
422
00:29:19,561 --> 00:29:20,961
and locking the bar.
423
00:29:21,041 --> 00:29:22,481
I lived in a little room upstairs.
424
00:29:22,561 --> 00:29:24,081
And then smoking this heroin
425
00:29:24,161 --> 00:29:26,041
and deliberately lying down
426
00:29:26,121 --> 00:29:28,361
expecting these incredible dreams.
427
00:29:28,681 --> 00:29:30,121
Floods and dragons.
428
00:29:30,961 --> 00:29:33,121
It wasn't a very scientific study.
429
00:29:33,201 --> 00:29:35,201
I had no understanding, really, of heroin.
430
00:29:35,401 --> 00:29:36,841
That came later.
431
00:29:37,121 --> 00:29:38,521
A couple of years later.
432
00:29:38,961 --> 00:29:41,121
MUSIC CONTINUES
433
00:29:44,561 --> 00:29:46,681
See, the moves I had in my fantasies
434
00:29:46,761 --> 00:29:49,161
like, when I was younger,
kicking a ball against the wall
435
00:29:49,241 --> 00:29:51,281
and dribbling through
the lampposts and trees
436
00:29:52,121 --> 00:29:54,641
somehow it never quite
made the leap into reality.
437
00:29:54,721 --> 00:29:57,681
You know, the overhead kick
that I perfected on my bed.
438
00:29:58,281 --> 00:30:00,721
It never really worked out
on the football pitch, you know?
439
00:30:00,801 --> 00:30:01,961
For the school team.
440
00:30:04,441 --> 00:30:08,161
And this kind of formulaic
discrepancy between fantasy and reality
441
00:30:09,201 --> 00:30:14,161
it plagued my creative freehold
ever since, ever after.
442
00:30:14,321 --> 00:30:18,681
Indeed it plays havoc with whatever
area of my life knows the rules to havoc
443
00:30:18,881 --> 00:30:20,441
and wants to play havoc.
444
00:30:20,801 --> 00:30:22,161
Fancy a game of havoc?
445
00:30:34,201 --> 00:30:36,881
Tomorrow I go to court.
446
00:30:37,921 --> 00:30:41,601
Erm... I'll get a very stern look
off the magistrate
447
00:30:41,681 --> 00:30:44,121
and then she will review the situation
and she'll say
448
00:30:44,201 --> 00:30:48,321
"Look, last year, last July
or whenever it was
449
00:30:48,401 --> 00:30:51,361
you came here,
you were very lucky not to go to jail.
450
00:30:51,441 --> 00:30:54,241
We gave you an 18-month probation order.
451
00:30:55,041 --> 00:30:59,721
It's quite clear that you have not
respected, you know, this opportunity.
452
00:30:59,841 --> 00:31:02,961
You haven't tested clean... that often."
453
00:31:03,041 --> 00:31:05,321
Although I have tested clean quite a lot
454
00:31:06,001 --> 00:31:08,121
so I have that in my favour.
455
00:31:08,641 --> 00:31:11,961
And then she's going to say,
"Right, I have no choice really but to
456
00:31:12,161 --> 00:31:13,361
you know...
457
00:31:15,801 --> 00:31:18,761
to give you a custodial sentence,
otherwise people are going to...
458
00:31:18,921 --> 00:31:21,761
you know, gonna think you're getting
privileged treatment, and..."
459
00:31:21,841 --> 00:31:25,361
She knows that I've got a huge...
460
00:31:26,241 --> 00:31:27,801
A huge fear of going to jail.
461
00:31:28,921 --> 00:31:30,921
It's fucking going to be hell.
462
00:31:32,041 --> 00:31:34,401
So she's going to know
I'm gonna be frightened.
463
00:31:36,161 --> 00:31:37,361
So boring.
464
00:31:38,961 --> 00:31:41,801
You know,
you're just locked in a room 23 hours a day.
465
00:31:43,201 --> 00:31:44,761
And then the other hour
466
00:31:44,841 --> 00:31:47,521
you're either, like,
walking around a concrete yard
467
00:31:47,601 --> 00:31:50,561
with like, you know, hundreds of maniacs.
468
00:31:52,041 --> 00:31:53,361
"Doherty!
469
00:31:55,001 --> 00:31:56,081
Go on, son!
470
00:31:57,961 --> 00:32:00,121
Wahey! You shagged Kate Moss!"
471
00:32:02,841 --> 00:32:06,841
Yeah. It's really hard work
on the head and the soul, I'd say.
472
00:32:14,361 --> 00:32:17,081
You got no money, you got no phone,
you got nothing.
473
00:32:17,161 --> 00:32:18,161
You just...
474
00:32:19,121 --> 00:32:22,881
you just got yourself and...
back to basics.
475
00:32:28,081 --> 00:32:31,441
But it's awful, it's really hard,
and it's very...
476
00:32:34,521 --> 00:32:36,481
You got no privacy,
you can't even...
477
00:32:37,161 --> 00:32:39,601
You can't even go to the toilet
on your own, you know.
478
00:32:40,481 --> 00:32:41,641
You share a room.
479
00:32:45,721 --> 00:32:47,601
And because I'm famous and that
480
00:32:48,081 --> 00:32:51,161
especially famous in that kind of world,
that culture, you know
481
00:32:51,361 --> 00:32:55,081
people read the tabloids
and all kind of shit they write about me.
482
00:32:56,601 --> 00:32:59,881
It's murder, it's right in your face,
you know.
483
00:33:01,201 --> 00:33:02,921
How is it? Is it every day?
484
00:33:03,001 --> 00:33:05,001
I don't know. I don't read it to be honest.
485
00:33:05,081 --> 00:33:06,921
I think it's been quite quiet recently.
486
00:33:08,401 --> 00:33:11,681
The last thing I heard
was that I was a Scientologist...
487
00:33:12,761 --> 00:33:13,681
apparently.
488
00:33:13,761 --> 00:33:15,961
You know,
it's just complete rubbish.
489
00:33:17,921 --> 00:33:20,961
I just take it for granted
that people know that it's absolute shit.
490
00:33:21,041 --> 00:33:24,481
Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that,
you know.
491
00:33:29,161 --> 00:33:31,601
RADlO CHATTERS IN FRENCH
492
00:33:32,721 --> 00:33:33,681
Hello.
493
00:33:38,961 --> 00:33:40,521
Oi! Oi! Oi!
494
00:33:51,401 --> 00:33:53,041
What is success for you?
495
00:33:54,081 --> 00:33:56,481
I was successful when I was begging,
I suppose.
496
00:33:57,241 --> 00:33:59,841
Talk about success. Er...
497
00:34:01,721 --> 00:34:04,961
You know what? The only reason
you've caught me there with that, actually
498
00:34:06,001 --> 00:34:08,201
because you know how
I think of my father.
499
00:34:09,521 --> 00:34:13,121
I know one day things might be
reconciled in a different way.
500
00:34:13,201 --> 00:34:15,801
They might be
reconciled in a successful way.
501
00:34:15,881 --> 00:34:18,321
He always said to me, "Look..."
502
00:34:19,161 --> 00:34:20,921
When it reached a stage
503
00:34:21,521 --> 00:34:24,441
he understood that I wasn't
going to be doing any of the things
504
00:34:24,521 --> 00:34:27,281
that he might have had in mind for his son.
505
00:34:27,961 --> 00:34:29,361
He just said to me...
506
00:34:33,441 --> 00:34:37,281
"Whatever you do, be successful at it."
507
00:34:40,481 --> 00:34:43,081
That's why he couldn't
understand it when I...
508
00:34:43,681 --> 00:34:47,161
I declared that me and this lad called Carlos
509
00:34:49,281 --> 00:34:52,081
were going to make a go of a band
and write songs
510
00:34:52,161 --> 00:34:54,641
and become a successful
songwriting partnership.
511
00:34:55,201 --> 00:34:56,921
Because he said, "What did I tell you?
512
00:34:57,001 --> 00:34:59,041
If you're going to do something,
do it successfully."
513
00:34:59,121 --> 00:35:01,161
He said, "You can't write songs.
514
00:35:01,841 --> 00:35:05,321
You show no propensity
towards musical accomplishment.
515
00:35:06,441 --> 00:35:08,041
You can't sing. You're not even...
516
00:35:08,121 --> 00:35:10,241
Son, what did I tell you?"
517
00:35:12,561 --> 00:35:14,041
"You said be a success..."
518
00:35:14,121 --> 00:35:15,561
Yeah, dad.
519
00:35:15,961 --> 00:35:17,041
Look...
520
00:35:20,601 --> 00:35:23,681
thanks to you and your military...
521
00:35:26,841 --> 00:35:29,241
and the military background
that you've given me
522
00:35:29,321 --> 00:35:31,681
I've spent a lot of my time...
523
00:35:32,521 --> 00:35:36,041
basically kicking stones
on the corner of a street
524
00:35:37,281 --> 00:35:39,961
on a crappy estate behind barbed wire
525
00:35:40,041 --> 00:35:43,321
and I'm not allowed to do...
be part of reality.
526
00:35:43,401 --> 00:35:44,681
I devised my own reality.
527
00:35:44,761 --> 00:35:48,921
And I've spent a long time
in this fantasy world, and I assure you
528
00:35:49,001 --> 00:35:52,481
right, this is meticulously coordinated.
529
00:35:53,441 --> 00:35:55,881
It is going to be a success.
530
00:35:55,961 --> 00:35:57,921
Alright, trust me.
531
00:36:13,001 --> 00:36:16,001
Maybe happiness is not being able
to know what's going to happen.
532
00:36:17,201 --> 00:36:20,241
Maybe if we knew the end of the story,
there wouldn't be any more story.
533
00:36:22,081 --> 00:36:23,361
Are we forgotten?
534
00:36:24,481 --> 00:36:25,641
Do we forget?
535
00:36:27,361 --> 00:36:30,241
I can't remember how many times
I've turned against the wall.
536
00:36:32,121 --> 00:36:35,081
There comes a time when time itself
doesn't matter anymore.
537
00:36:37,281 --> 00:36:39,681
It's going to last years,
this strange navigation
538
00:36:39,761 --> 00:36:42,041
upon the indistinct shores of life.
539
00:37:00,801 --> 00:37:04,521
Painting, it's like
a close inspection of the psyche
540
00:37:04,601 --> 00:37:06,841
incorporating an interpretation
541
00:37:06,921 --> 00:37:11,121
and quite often a kind of
filtration of society
542
00:37:11,201 --> 00:37:13,761
and of the very small part of the world
that I inhabit.
543
00:37:14,201 --> 00:37:17,281
It's a desperate attempt
that I make time and time again
544
00:37:17,881 --> 00:37:20,241
to satisfy myself.
545
00:37:21,001 --> 00:37:22,801
I'm slowly moving forward.
546
00:37:22,881 --> 00:37:24,921
Tip, tip, tip... Tap, tap, tap...
547
00:37:25,361 --> 00:37:27,961
And yet at the same time,
going round in these circles
548
00:37:28,041 --> 00:37:29,521
that bring me back to...
549
00:37:30,281 --> 00:37:33,681
Oscar Wilde and Dostoyevsky
and Joyce.
550
00:37:34,241 --> 00:37:37,921
And the things really
that inspired me in the beginning
551
00:37:38,561 --> 00:37:40,081
and continue to do so.
552
00:37:43,721 --> 00:37:46,841
And like... I get an enormous
amount of pleasure
553
00:37:48,281 --> 00:37:51,321
from messing about on canvasses,
an enormous amount of pleasure.
554
00:37:51,401 --> 00:37:53,361
It's not... it's not just my escape.
555
00:37:53,441 --> 00:37:55,521
It's my arrival and my departure.
556
00:37:55,601 --> 00:37:58,801
And... my first, my last, my everything.
557
00:38:02,041 --> 00:38:03,081
I'm thinking...
558
00:38:55,321 --> 00:38:56,561
Sold out!
559
00:39:01,801 --> 00:39:04,761
If you look around this place, yeah,
people know what a legend is.
560
00:39:05,041 --> 00:39:07,921
If Oscar Wilde was alive today
561
00:39:08,001 --> 00:39:10,601
he'd be chastised as Pete Doherty.
562
00:39:11,081 --> 00:39:13,001
Oscar Wilde. Pete Doherty.
563
00:39:13,081 --> 00:39:14,121
Same thing.
564
00:39:14,281 --> 00:39:16,361
If Oscar Wilde was alive today,
he'd be in prison.
565
00:41:01,441 --> 00:41:02,601
CROWD WHOOPS
566
00:41:45,961 --> 00:41:48,441
CROWD CHEERS
567
00:42:02,001 --> 00:42:03,881
I re-read Crime and Punishment.
568
00:42:04,121 --> 00:42:05,881
The fourth time now I've gone through that.
569
00:42:05,961 --> 00:42:07,121
I love that book.
570
00:42:08,001 --> 00:42:09,561
Is that a real guillotine?
- Yeah.
571
00:42:09,641 --> 00:42:10,481
Yeah?
572
00:42:10,561 --> 00:42:13,361
The last one that killed someone in France.
- No!
573
00:42:15,241 --> 00:42:16,521
It is quite creepy, innit?
- Yeah.
574
00:42:16,601 --> 00:42:20,641
It's quite a strange way as well, isn't it?
To... punish people?
575
00:42:21,321 --> 00:42:24,681
It's like a public celebration, isn't it?
576
00:42:27,361 --> 00:42:29,561
INDISTINCT CHATTER
577
00:42:30,601 --> 00:42:32,361
Fucking hell, it goes on, doesn't it?
578
00:42:33,081 --> 00:42:34,641
How much punishment do they want?
579
00:42:48,641 --> 00:42:50,681
Look at this, people are animals.
580
00:42:52,081 --> 00:42:53,161
It's a fucking...
581
00:42:54,921 --> 00:42:57,041
HE READS IN FRENCH
582
00:43:04,201 --> 00:43:05,481
These are amazing.
583
00:43:12,281 --> 00:43:13,641
Oh, my gawd.
584
00:43:24,801 --> 00:43:27,801
Listen, you've got to take care of
yourself at some point.
585
00:43:27,961 --> 00:43:30,361
Yes, something does have to be done.
You know, you're right.
586
00:43:30,441 --> 00:43:32,241
You're right there.
587
00:43:32,321 --> 00:43:34,921
You know, you've got to
concentrate on yourself at some point.
588
00:43:35,001 --> 00:43:37,641
If it's not going to be rehab,
it's going to have to be an implant.
589
00:43:37,721 --> 00:43:40,041
That's the two choices
you've got at the moment.
590
00:43:40,121 --> 00:43:42,321
You have to do something, right?
591
00:43:42,881 --> 00:43:44,041
So... yeah.
592
00:43:44,121 --> 00:43:46,161
Keep that thought there, you are.
593
00:43:46,241 --> 00:43:48,281
You are going for an implant
whether you like it or not.
594
00:43:48,361 --> 00:43:49,761
I know... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
595
00:43:49,841 --> 00:43:51,681
I'll be there, I'll come with you.
596
00:43:54,801 --> 00:43:56,401
What's the fucking worst it can do?
597
00:44:04,481 --> 00:44:08,201
Since how long I see Peter?
I suppose maybe from
598
00:44:08,281 --> 00:44:11,321
four or five or six years,
cos it's quite special.
599
00:44:11,401 --> 00:44:13,321
But not only Peter, with other patients
600
00:44:13,401 --> 00:44:15,881
because they are so vulnerable,
at the same time
601
00:44:15,961 --> 00:44:18,281
they are very strong,
they are arrogant.
602
00:44:18,361 --> 00:44:20,921
They are proud,
but they are so vulnerable.
603
00:44:21,001 --> 00:44:22,801
The implant is a naltrexone implant.
604
00:44:22,881 --> 00:44:26,441
When you talk about opiates,
you can talk about two things
605
00:44:26,521 --> 00:44:29,481
like the agonist and antagonist.
606
00:44:29,881 --> 00:44:32,321
And that means that even if
he's had drugs
607
00:44:32,401 --> 00:44:34,241
it can do nothing.
608
00:44:38,681 --> 00:44:41,281
The courts were saying,
"Look, you have to get this blocker
609
00:44:42,361 --> 00:44:43,721
or you go to jail."
610
00:44:46,441 --> 00:44:49,801
Small capsule that releases pills
once every couple of weeks.
611
00:44:49,881 --> 00:44:51,081
Opiate blockers.
612
00:44:52,321 --> 00:44:53,361
Awful.
613
00:44:53,601 --> 00:44:54,641
Sorry, Peter.
614
00:44:55,321 --> 00:44:56,481
Sorry, Peter...
615
00:45:05,041 --> 00:45:07,001
INDISTINCT CHATTER
616
00:45:09,001 --> 00:45:10,241
Can you feel this?
617
00:45:16,521 --> 00:45:18,761
INDISTINCT CHATTER
618
00:45:24,841 --> 00:45:28,841
That's the... another patient I have
who made already four or five...
619
00:45:29,561 --> 00:45:31,801
No face. No face.
620
00:45:34,321 --> 00:45:37,081
That's another chap I had
for the same thing.
621
00:45:37,241 --> 00:45:38,561
Bop, bop, bop, bop.
622
00:46:04,321 --> 00:46:08,241
Everyone wants to achieve a point
where he can control himself
623
00:46:08,321 --> 00:46:10,601
where he can work,
where he can love.
624
00:46:10,681 --> 00:46:13,801
And that's what Peter wants to do.
He wants to be a normal...
625
00:46:13,881 --> 00:46:18,361
of course, he likes the rush off the drugs,
but he also wants to be a free guy
626
00:46:18,441 --> 00:46:20,361
and with drugs, he can do nothing.
627
00:46:22,881 --> 00:46:24,441
Get an implant or go to jail.
628
00:46:24,521 --> 00:46:27,081
That was what I was
being presented with half the time.
629
00:46:28,161 --> 00:46:29,801
I mean, who are these people?
630
00:46:29,881 --> 00:46:31,761
It's horrific what they did to me.
631
00:46:31,841 --> 00:46:34,961
You're messing with powerful sides
of the human psyche.
632
00:46:35,041 --> 00:46:37,801
The fucking biological makeup of the brain.
633
00:46:37,881 --> 00:46:40,321
You know, and I was the guinea pig.
We were the guinea pig.
634
00:46:40,401 --> 00:46:41,481
We really were.
635
00:46:41,561 --> 00:46:44,121
Numbing of the spirit and of ambition.
636
00:46:44,441 --> 00:46:46,801
What about the mind?
What about the soul?
637
00:46:47,721 --> 00:46:50,441
This is a programme
about pubs and writers.
638
00:46:50,801 --> 00:46:53,081
Writers in pubs, pubs in books.
639
00:46:53,161 --> 00:46:54,201
Books in pubs...
640
00:46:54,281 --> 00:46:57,201
Subjects that go together like
cheese and onion, mild and bitter
641
00:46:57,281 --> 00:47:00,401
not that you can find many pubs
that will serve you that these days.
642
00:47:04,201 --> 00:47:06,161
INDISTINCT CHATTER
643
00:47:16,121 --> 00:47:19,601
How hard has it been for you
to all get back in the room together?
644
00:47:24,121 --> 00:47:28,121
Well, I think it has been quite hard.
645
00:47:28,441 --> 00:47:30,801
You know,
obviously, there's been a lot of...
646
00:47:31,441 --> 00:47:33,321
It's cos you live in Denmark.
- Fucking nightmare.
647
00:47:33,401 --> 00:47:35,761
He lives in Denmark...
- CROWD LAUGHS
648
00:47:35,921 --> 00:47:39,321
He never answers his phone,
and he's been starting a family.
649
00:47:39,761 --> 00:47:41,201
It's odd really, like...
650
00:47:41,761 --> 00:47:44,641
The way we've always communicated
with each other successfully
651
00:47:44,721 --> 00:47:47,761
is through music, and that sounds
really naff but it's true.
652
00:47:47,961 --> 00:47:48,961
And...
653
00:47:49,721 --> 00:47:52,481
that's how and why we're together.
654
00:47:52,561 --> 00:47:54,001
And... sorry. Oh!
655
00:47:55,161 --> 00:47:56,001
Ah.
656
00:47:56,081 --> 00:47:57,281
Sorry. How does it feel?
657
00:47:57,481 --> 00:48:00,321
I don't know yet, cos we haven't
actually been in a room alone together.
658
00:48:00,401 --> 00:48:02,201
CROWD CHUCKLES
- So...
659
00:48:04,721 --> 00:48:07,681
Do you see this as part of
your rehabilitation?
660
00:48:09,681 --> 00:48:11,201
Rehabilitation from what?
661
00:48:11,281 --> 00:48:13,761
Well, you know, your drug problems
are well known.
662
00:48:13,841 --> 00:48:14,881
Is this part...
663
00:48:14,961 --> 00:48:17,521
Not really. I'm trying to keep that
as quiet as possible, like.
664
00:48:17,601 --> 00:48:19,201
CROWD LAUGHS
665
00:48:19,441 --> 00:48:21,001
oh, really? You know.
666
00:48:21,401 --> 00:48:23,801
As you can imagine, it's quite a...
667
00:48:24,361 --> 00:48:27,361
You know, even just then, me and Carl
had to sneak off for a crafty one
668
00:48:27,441 --> 00:48:28,801
when John wasn't looking.
669
00:48:29,881 --> 00:48:31,761
A crafty cigarette, yes, exactly.
670
00:48:31,841 --> 00:48:33,721
This young man here.
You have a question, yes?
671
00:48:33,801 --> 00:48:35,201
Yeah, from Radio 1.
672
00:48:35,281 --> 00:48:38,241
Have you talked about why you split
in the first place yet?
673
00:48:39,601 --> 00:48:41,761
Well, I don't think
that's something that's...
674
00:48:41,921 --> 00:48:45,961
I think it's pretty
well documented, really. Um...
675
00:48:46,241 --> 00:48:48,641
Really, I never got my side
of the story out to be honest.
676
00:48:48,721 --> 00:48:50,161
CROWD LAUGHS
677
00:48:50,241 --> 00:48:51,281
Here we go...
678
00:48:51,361 --> 00:48:54,201
does everyone want to get a pint,
and we'll sit in a circle?
679
00:48:54,561 --> 00:48:56,121
You know, forgive and forget.
680
00:48:56,641 --> 00:48:57,881
That's what I say.
681
00:48:58,401 --> 00:48:59,761
Apology accepted, right?
682
00:49:01,081 --> 00:49:03,241
Yeah.
- OK then, any more questions then?
683
00:49:03,321 --> 00:49:04,921
We're wrapping up, so I'm sure...
684
00:49:05,681 --> 00:49:07,481
Course,
you've got the chemistry, I mean...
685
00:49:16,921 --> 00:49:18,041
CROWD CHUCKLES
686
00:49:18,161 --> 00:49:20,881
It's something I've been
dreaming about for six years.
687
00:49:20,961 --> 00:49:23,841
Just to get on a stage and say...
688
00:49:25,321 --> 00:49:26,561
"We're The Libertines."
689
00:49:27,481 --> 00:49:29,401
And it be real and we mean it.
690
00:49:29,761 --> 00:49:33,121
With two crooked fingers,
then that's the biggest euphoria.
691
00:49:33,201 --> 00:49:36,081
It's a long time,
four months away to Reading.
692
00:49:36,201 --> 00:49:39,561
Heaven forbid, but if you do fall out again,
what's going to happen?
693
00:49:39,841 --> 00:49:41,921
If we fall out,
it'll be the same as it ever was.
694
00:49:42,001 --> 00:49:45,321
We're not gonna fall out.
We're not gonna fall out before then.
695
00:49:45,521 --> 00:49:48,201
"When The Lights Go out"
by The Libertines
696
00:50:30,161 --> 00:50:31,961
We're here waiting for Wolfman.
697
00:50:34,001 --> 00:50:35,921
Outside Her Majesty's Prison Pentonville.
698
00:50:36,001 --> 00:50:40,401
Trying to explain to Katia that women
also work as prison officers.
699
00:50:41,641 --> 00:50:43,481
And they love it. Yeah.
700
00:50:44,201 --> 00:50:46,161
He should be coming through this gate.
701
00:50:46,641 --> 00:50:48,801
They've told me anytime between now
702
00:50:48,881 --> 00:50:51,441
which is 7:00 in the morning
and 8:00 this evening.
703
00:50:51,761 --> 00:50:54,001
So typical Wolfman really,
fucking me about.
704
00:50:56,761 --> 00:50:58,921
But it's a proud day for all of us.
705
00:50:59,001 --> 00:51:01,321
And yeah... imagine living there.
706
00:51:03,761 --> 00:51:05,561
I'll tell you about it.
Come over here, love.
707
00:51:06,241 --> 00:51:07,441
We have to hide.
708
00:51:07,521 --> 00:51:09,521
We have to hide,
cos they don't like me anyway in here.
709
00:51:09,601 --> 00:51:12,081
Trust me. That's one thing I know
from my time in prison.
710
00:51:12,561 --> 00:51:14,481
They don't like me in there,
they're not...
711
00:51:15,241 --> 00:51:17,121
Their life is basically a brutal one.
712
00:51:17,201 --> 00:51:19,001
The officers and the prisoners.
713
00:51:19,201 --> 00:51:22,401
Mutual animosity. Mutual mistrust.
Mutual hatred.
714
00:51:23,201 --> 00:51:26,441
It's an aggressive place,
a violent place, it's nasty.
715
00:51:27,721 --> 00:51:29,601
A lot of the prisoners,
a lot of the officers
716
00:51:29,681 --> 00:51:32,321
basically are just, like, fucked up,
twisted people
717
00:51:32,401 --> 00:51:34,281
who live in an aggressive world.
718
00:51:37,001 --> 00:51:38,481
But you have a laugh, you know.
719
00:51:39,481 --> 00:51:41,641
Right, that's it, we'd better get off,
cos it's like...
720
00:51:41,721 --> 00:51:43,601
You can't just film around here.
721
00:51:44,081 --> 00:51:45,321
What are you doing?
722
00:51:45,481 --> 00:51:46,401
Who are you?
723
00:52:08,081 --> 00:52:09,721
Four months in Pentonville.
724
00:52:10,681 --> 00:52:12,001
I don't fancy that, mate.
725
00:52:12,601 --> 00:52:14,321
Any interesting characters though?
726
00:52:14,401 --> 00:52:15,721
Nah. Absolutely none.
727
00:52:15,801 --> 00:52:18,001
All cunts, absolute cunts.
728
00:52:18,081 --> 00:52:19,241
All of them.
- Fucking hell.
729
00:52:19,361 --> 00:52:21,681
And loads of people
said that you owe them.
730
00:52:22,801 --> 00:52:26,001
Yeah, they're gonna say that, aren't they?
I don't owe anyone fuck all.
731
00:52:27,081 --> 00:52:28,681
I'll pull over up there.
732
00:52:31,441 --> 00:52:32,881
He's just had it so bad.
733
00:52:32,961 --> 00:52:35,521
I can't believe he's been in the Ville
for four months.
734
00:52:36,681 --> 00:52:38,721
What a shithole that is.
735
00:52:39,721 --> 00:52:41,961
Four months in Pentonville.
- It's mental, mate.
736
00:52:42,761 --> 00:52:44,881
Murderers. Rapists.
737
00:52:46,201 --> 00:52:48,161
Wolfman.
- HE LAUGHS
738
00:52:48,801 --> 00:52:50,801
It was absolutely horrific.
739
00:52:51,921 --> 00:52:53,321
I cried once in there.
740
00:52:54,201 --> 00:52:57,681
Strong love of life, like no one else
in brackets.
741
00:52:57,961 --> 00:53:01,281
I've got to work out what I want to do,
I'm counting down the hours.
742
00:53:01,361 --> 00:53:02,401
Walk on you.
743
00:53:02,481 --> 00:53:04,081
Walk on me, walk on by.
744
00:53:04,161 --> 00:53:05,881
Try living like this. Living a lie.
745
00:53:06,321 --> 00:53:07,921
GUITAR STRUMS
746
00:53:13,161 --> 00:53:16,241
SINGING INDISTINCTLY
747
00:53:31,041 --> 00:53:33,961
CONTlNUES SINGING INDISTINCTLY
748
00:53:46,721 --> 00:53:48,721
Right, do you want to hear...
749
00:53:57,081 --> 00:54:01,321
I woke up at 5:50AM,
and I hit the emergency button.
750
00:54:02,281 --> 00:54:04,361
They said I wasn't on the unlocked list.
751
00:54:05,121 --> 00:54:08,121
And that it was not an emergency,
and I'd get a red mark.
752
00:54:08,441 --> 00:54:10,521
I was confused, and I had a coffee.
753
00:54:10,601 --> 00:54:12,041
I weighted up the options.
754
00:54:12,121 --> 00:54:14,921
Part of me wanted to attend
and the other was hurt.
755
00:54:15,361 --> 00:54:18,121
Another part was relieved
that I wouldn't have to spend a day
756
00:54:18,201 --> 00:54:21,041
in an uncomfortable cell
cuffed in a sweat box.
757
00:54:21,161 --> 00:54:23,281
They're horrible,
those cells under the appeal court.
758
00:54:23,361 --> 00:54:24,921
Eh?
- They're horrible, those cells.
759
00:54:25,001 --> 00:54:25,841
Oh, God.
760
00:54:25,921 --> 00:54:28,801
That's where I went for my appeal,
back in my burglary charge.
761
00:54:29,401 --> 00:54:30,801
What's the stuff you've learnt?
762
00:54:30,921 --> 00:54:33,401
I'm gonna be alright in life
as long as I don't flop
763
00:54:33,481 --> 00:54:35,521
and upset everyone by hiding away.
764
00:54:35,601 --> 00:54:38,441
It was all confused.
I didn't mean to hurt people, I just...
765
00:54:38,521 --> 00:54:40,841
My view was,
I'm not doing anything to you
766
00:54:40,921 --> 00:54:42,841
because I didn't think anyone liked me.
767
00:54:42,921 --> 00:54:44,761
I just felt completely worthless.
768
00:54:44,841 --> 00:54:46,321
I've just found out, like...
769
00:54:46,401 --> 00:54:48,081
I've just been working on my self...
770
00:54:49,401 --> 00:54:50,561
Self-esteem, say it.
771
00:54:50,641 --> 00:54:52,001
Self-esteem, yeah.
772
00:54:52,481 --> 00:54:55,121
There's nothing wrong with
being a bit vulnerable.
773
00:55:00,041 --> 00:55:03,121
INDISTINCT CHATTER
774
00:55:21,041 --> 00:55:23,521
CROWD WHOOPS
775
00:55:27,841 --> 00:55:28,681
Hey!
776
00:55:35,681 --> 00:55:37,961
CROWD CHEERS
777
00:56:55,481 --> 00:56:57,361
CROWD CHEERS
778
00:57:18,121 --> 00:57:20,641
CROWD WHISTLES AND APPLAUDS
779
00:57:23,441 --> 00:57:25,001
CROWD CHEERS
780
00:57:29,841 --> 00:57:31,921
So how do you feel these days?
781
00:57:32,081 --> 00:57:34,481
Hmm?
- How do you feel these days?
782
00:57:37,521 --> 00:57:39,841
I'm quite grateful, I think,
at the moment, you know
783
00:57:39,921 --> 00:57:41,321
to be doing what I'm doing.
784
00:57:44,401 --> 00:57:46,241
Libertines gig's this weekend.
785
00:57:47,041 --> 00:57:49,961
Pressure's mounting
but fuck me, it's gonna be a...
786
00:57:51,241 --> 00:57:54,441
How were the first meetings
with Carl and the boys?
787
00:57:55,721 --> 00:57:57,041
I said stop that.
788
00:57:58,201 --> 00:57:59,521
Yeah. Do you hear me?
789
00:58:01,161 --> 00:58:03,081
Do you hear me?
- I heard you.
790
00:58:03,161 --> 00:58:04,841
Huh?
- I heard you.
791
00:58:05,361 --> 00:58:06,281
OK.
792
00:58:06,841 --> 00:58:08,841
So you've stopped filming?
- I did.
793
00:58:08,921 --> 00:58:09,961
Yeah, oK.
794
00:58:15,321 --> 00:58:17,081
It's like I'm wandering around
in the dark.
795
00:58:17,161 --> 00:58:19,281
I keep bumping into the truth
every now and again
796
00:58:19,361 --> 00:58:22,121
and I'm coming out with these
odd bits of...
797
00:58:24,081 --> 00:58:25,401
insight, but...
798
00:58:26,321 --> 00:58:28,201
when it comes to The Libertines
and all that
799
00:58:28,281 --> 00:58:30,881
I can't think about it all too much,
I'm too involved.
800
00:58:30,961 --> 00:58:32,561
It's too, too...
801
00:58:38,321 --> 00:58:39,721
I'm too confused.
802
00:58:43,921 --> 00:58:45,401
I mean, for lots of reasons.
803
00:58:47,481 --> 00:58:49,041
And no sense can come of it.
804
00:58:52,321 --> 00:58:54,961
I can't really begin to imagine
what's going on at the moment.
805
00:58:55,041 --> 00:58:57,441
I'm sure I'm gonna
look back on this time and gasp
806
00:58:58,521 --> 00:59:02,361
and be pretty annoyed with myself,
how I'm...
807
00:59:02,441 --> 00:59:04,201
how I'm doing things, but...
808
00:59:07,841 --> 00:59:10,361
It's all... Nah, actually,
what am I talking about?
809
00:59:10,441 --> 00:59:13,081
At the moment, it is difficult.
Things are difficult the past few months.
810
00:59:13,161 --> 00:59:16,081
I'm just waiting for these Libertines
gigs to be done.
811
00:59:17,121 --> 00:59:18,161
And to...
812
00:59:19,641 --> 00:59:22,401
get over that enormous obstacle.
813
00:59:23,041 --> 00:59:25,881
Enormous achievement, I think.
814
00:59:26,841 --> 00:59:30,321
It's going to be fucking emotional.
It's going to be fucking impossibly...
815
00:59:35,281 --> 00:59:38,281
wonderful and stressful,
probably going to kill me.
816
00:59:39,201 --> 00:59:42,521
And I can just put paid to a lot of things,
bang, bang, bang, bang.
817
00:59:42,601 --> 00:59:43,721
Just spunk a lot of it.
818
00:59:43,801 --> 00:59:44,801
I'm just...
819
00:59:46,081 --> 00:59:47,881
destroying all these fucking...
820
00:59:49,361 --> 00:59:52,601
facades of an existence, you know,
like ending all these chapters
821
00:59:52,681 --> 00:59:54,401
and then burning the fucking book.
822
00:59:58,121 --> 01:00:00,561
I pray I can sit one day
and watch this with you
823
01:00:00,641 --> 01:00:02,241
and that this isn't, you know...
824
01:00:02,881 --> 01:00:03,881
oh, God.
825
01:00:04,241 --> 01:00:07,681
That you don't watch this bit of
footage now, and, you know...
826
01:00:09,881 --> 01:00:11,841
the day after my funeral or something.
827
01:00:20,641 --> 01:00:22,481
I want to make it through to the other side.
828
01:00:22,561 --> 01:00:23,721
I do, I do, I do...
829
01:00:23,801 --> 01:00:26,081
I'm not going the right way about it,
I know.
830
01:00:26,841 --> 01:00:28,601
It's all wrong what I'm doing.
831
01:00:28,841 --> 01:00:30,481
I'm going about it the wrong way.
832
01:00:43,641 --> 01:00:46,041
CROWD CHEERS
833
01:00:50,001 --> 01:00:51,921
GUITARS STRUM
834
01:01:00,241 --> 01:01:02,921
"Don't Look Back Into The Sun"
by The Libertines
835
01:01:28,681 --> 01:01:29,641
Yeah!
836
01:01:30,961 --> 01:01:33,161
CROWD SINGS ALONG TO TUNE
837
01:03:01,841 --> 01:03:04,041
FOX CRIES
838
01:03:19,081 --> 01:03:21,921
HARMONlCA PLAYS
839
01:03:42,041 --> 01:03:44,721
HARMONlCA CONTlNUES
840
01:04:13,081 --> 01:04:15,041
BIRDS CHIRP
841
01:04:18,201 --> 01:04:20,961
WATER DRIPPING
842
01:04:46,401 --> 01:04:47,441
CAT MEOWS
843
01:05:03,281 --> 01:05:05,441
CAT MEOWS
- Squish boo-boo...
844
01:05:06,601 --> 01:05:08,521
There's no cat food. There's only fish.
845
01:05:09,081 --> 01:05:11,441
CAT MEOWS
- What? I'm sorry.
846
01:05:12,601 --> 01:05:13,761
Sorry!
847
01:05:14,601 --> 01:05:15,681
So fussy.
848
01:05:17,761 --> 01:05:20,761
Look, if this fish is good enough for me,
then it's good enough for you.
849
01:05:20,841 --> 01:05:21,681
Oh!
850
01:05:22,321 --> 01:05:24,001
It's definitely good enough for you now.
851
01:05:24,361 --> 01:05:25,401
There you go.
852
01:05:28,241 --> 01:05:30,681
Look at this mess, honestly,
who lives here?
853
01:05:32,121 --> 01:05:33,521
Great ramp of kabbible.
854
01:05:33,601 --> 01:05:35,121
Maybe it'll take a little... oops.
855
01:05:35,201 --> 01:05:36,161
Oh yeah.
856
01:05:38,801 --> 01:05:41,601
Just to use up the last drops of... petrol.
857
01:05:43,161 --> 01:05:44,841
There we go, all down his foot.
858
01:05:44,921 --> 01:05:45,801
Ooh.
859
01:05:46,041 --> 01:05:48,161
This is how the Chinese did it
thousands of years ago.
860
01:05:48,241 --> 01:05:49,601
Is this legal? Probably not.
861
01:05:49,681 --> 01:05:50,561
OK...
862
01:05:52,961 --> 01:05:55,001
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
863
01:05:55,161 --> 01:05:56,921
Come on. Up you go, up you go!
864
01:05:57,961 --> 01:05:59,601
Reserves, reserves...
865
01:05:59,681 --> 01:06:00,801
Yeah. Go on, son!
866
01:06:00,881 --> 01:06:02,521
Go on. Help it along. Help it along.
867
01:06:02,601 --> 01:06:03,601
Whoa!
868
01:06:05,241 --> 01:06:06,281
Whoa...
869
01:06:06,361 --> 01:06:07,801
LOUD BANG
- Hey!
870
01:06:15,561 --> 01:06:19,481
I love the way the plastic...
when it's melting, it drips down
871
01:06:19,561 --> 01:06:22,081
like that, like melted time.
872
01:06:23,761 --> 01:06:26,561
The passing hours and days and years...
873
01:06:26,641 --> 01:06:28,561
Drip, drip, drip.
874
01:06:30,321 --> 01:06:31,921
OK, show's over, kids.
875
01:06:33,321 --> 01:06:34,641
Everyone out of the pool.
876
01:06:35,521 --> 01:06:37,561
INDISTINCT CHATTER
877
01:06:58,401 --> 01:06:59,561
Ladies and gentlemen.
878
01:07:00,001 --> 01:07:03,561
Welcome to The Cob Gallery
for the first ever
879
01:07:03,641 --> 01:07:08,321
Pete Doherty auction
of his paintings and his artefacts.
880
01:07:08,761 --> 01:07:11,081
Lot number one is a selection of guitars
881
01:07:11,161 --> 01:07:15,841
owned, played, photographed in
by Pete Doherty.
882
01:07:15,921 --> 01:07:18,161
They're there. These are the guitars
you're bidding on here.
883
01:07:18,241 --> 01:07:19,481
?160 is down here.
884
01:07:19,561 --> 01:07:20,801
?160.
885
01:07:20,881 --> 01:07:23,241
At 160, 170 with bidder one.
886
01:07:23,321 --> 01:07:24,401
180 with you.
887
01:07:24,481 --> 01:07:25,761
25, in time.
888
01:07:26,561 --> 01:07:28,641
Sold. ?2,000.
889
01:07:30,241 --> 01:07:32,041
?2,000, and I am selling.
890
01:07:32,121 --> 01:07:33,841
It is going once...
891
01:07:34,721 --> 01:07:36,161
It is going twice.
892
01:07:37,801 --> 01:07:38,801
It has now sold.
893
01:07:38,921 --> 01:07:40,921
?1700 now, I have 1700.
894
01:07:41,001 --> 01:07:42,961
1800 here is bid, 1800.
895
01:07:43,041 --> 01:07:44,121
1900 now.
896
01:07:44,201 --> 01:07:45,961
At 1900 for the desk.
897
01:07:46,041 --> 01:07:47,041
GAVEL BANGS
- Sold.
898
01:07:47,121 --> 01:07:49,081
And sold, 440.
899
01:07:49,601 --> 01:07:50,961
It has now sold.
- GAVEL BANGS
900
01:07:51,281 --> 01:07:52,801
Sold for ?1600.
901
01:07:52,881 --> 01:07:53,721
Sold.
902
01:07:54,401 --> 01:07:55,361
Sold.
903
01:07:55,681 --> 01:07:56,921
Sold, ?1200.
904
01:07:57,001 --> 01:07:58,321
And... sold!
905
01:07:58,401 --> 01:07:59,481
?1300.
906
01:07:59,601 --> 01:08:01,001
Sold, ?3000.
907
01:08:01,401 --> 01:08:03,361
35.
- CROWD CHEERS
908
01:08:04,881 --> 01:08:05,761
And sold.
909
01:08:06,241 --> 01:08:08,201
320 I had online there.
910
01:08:08,681 --> 01:08:10,041
Last chance...
911
01:08:11,001 --> 01:08:14,561
Last chance, ?2900 then.
912
01:08:16,201 --> 01:08:17,881
GAVEL BANGS
- 2900.
913
01:08:18,041 --> 01:08:20,201
This is the most exciting
painting of the evening.
914
01:08:20,281 --> 01:08:25,121
Cos this is the personal work of Doherty
915
01:08:25,481 --> 01:08:28,921
in conjunction with Amy Winehouse.
916
01:08:29,161 --> 01:08:30,841
22,000 now.
917
01:08:30,921 --> 01:08:32,241
At 22,000.
918
01:08:32,321 --> 01:08:33,921
?25,000.
919
01:08:34,001 --> 01:08:35,481
At 25,000.
920
01:08:35,801 --> 01:08:36,801
At 20.
921
01:08:38,081 --> 01:08:41,001
30. 35,000.
922
01:08:41,641 --> 01:08:42,921
Last chance then.
923
01:08:43,121 --> 01:08:44,081
Once.
924
01:08:46,601 --> 01:08:47,601
Twice.
925
01:08:47,761 --> 01:08:49,601
DEVICE BEEPS
- Was that a bid?
926
01:08:49,721 --> 01:08:51,521
CROWD LAUGHS
927
01:08:51,641 --> 01:08:52,641
Too late! 4...
928
01:08:53,321 --> 01:08:55,401
It's 35,000 down here.
929
01:08:55,841 --> 01:08:57,561
It's 35,000 here.
930
01:08:57,641 --> 01:08:59,801
At 35,000 then on the internet.
931
01:08:59,881 --> 01:09:01,881
At ?35,000.
932
01:09:20,241 --> 01:09:21,281
Yes?
933
01:09:46,561 --> 01:09:49,441
MUSIC DlSTORTS
934
01:09:50,881 --> 01:09:52,081
INDISTINCT CHATTER
935
01:09:53,441 --> 01:09:56,441
Forever alive, forever forward. Stately.
936
01:09:57,641 --> 01:09:58,641
Solemn.
937
01:10:00,481 --> 01:10:01,601
Sad.
938
01:10:02,361 --> 01:10:04,321
Withdrawn, baffled. Mad.
939
01:10:04,401 --> 01:10:07,001
Turbulent. Feeble. Dissatisfied.
940
01:10:07,601 --> 01:10:09,841
Desperate. Proud. Fond. Sick.
941
01:10:09,921 --> 01:10:11,561
Accepted by men. Rejected by men.
942
01:10:11,761 --> 01:10:15,721
If I wasn't on drugs, I probably
wouldn't be in the place I'm in now
943
01:10:15,801 --> 01:10:17,201
doing the things I'm doing
944
01:10:18,121 --> 01:10:20,441
in most aspects of my life...
945
01:10:20,521 --> 01:10:24,081
HISSING AND WHOOSHlNG
946
01:10:25,081 --> 01:10:26,121
To be honest.
947
01:10:27,081 --> 01:10:28,401
What do you mean? What do you mean?
948
01:10:28,481 --> 01:10:30,321
What do you mean, want me to get better?
949
01:10:31,121 --> 01:10:32,121
Well...
950
01:10:32,201 --> 01:10:35,281
And why am I even asking you that?
When I never...
951
01:10:37,401 --> 01:10:41,161
Because none of us want to admit
to not being well.
952
01:10:41,361 --> 01:10:42,281
Or...
953
01:10:43,641 --> 01:10:47,121
is it the opposite?
People love to make out that they're ill.
954
01:10:47,201 --> 01:10:48,881
You know, hypochondriac.
Old people, like.
955
01:10:48,961 --> 01:10:50,361
"How are you?" "Ooh! Me back!"
956
01:10:50,441 --> 01:10:52,361
That was like me
this morning admittedly, but...
957
01:10:52,441 --> 01:10:53,961
"ooh, me back!"
958
01:10:54,201 --> 01:10:57,401
You're obviously leaving something since...
959
01:10:57,761 --> 01:10:59,121
what, a week?
960
01:10:59,201 --> 01:11:00,641
Ten days, a week?
961
01:11:00,721 --> 01:11:01,961
Five days, two days?
962
01:11:02,041 --> 01:11:04,321
Not today. Now it's postponed again.
963
01:11:04,441 --> 01:11:06,401
No...
- You postponed your rehab.
964
01:11:06,481 --> 01:11:09,241
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
965
01:11:12,161 --> 01:11:15,161
So there's obviously something
going on in your mind
966
01:11:15,241 --> 01:11:16,801
for postponing all the time.
967
01:11:16,881 --> 01:11:18,121
Yeah.
- What's happening?
968
01:11:18,601 --> 01:11:19,801
Um...
969
01:11:20,921 --> 01:11:23,081
Waiting to see if there's another option
970
01:11:23,361 --> 01:11:25,281
for salvation, waiting to see if...
971
01:11:25,361 --> 01:11:26,281
if...
972
01:11:27,641 --> 01:11:30,401
if all these fine minds
973
01:11:30,601 --> 01:11:33,361
logical, intelligent,
as well as being caring
974
01:11:33,441 --> 01:11:36,281
if they conclude that rehab
is the best option, then...
975
01:11:36,361 --> 01:11:39,401
Well, hell. Who am I to fucking argue
again and again and again?
976
01:11:39,481 --> 01:11:42,041
Must be something in it.
But then again, you never know.
977
01:11:42,201 --> 01:11:44,561
You know... strange things do occur.
978
01:11:44,641 --> 01:11:47,881
Someone might just come and save me.
There might be another option.
979
01:11:48,521 --> 01:11:49,601
I don't know.
980
01:11:50,441 --> 01:11:54,121
Inside of those washed and trimmed
faces behold...
981
01:11:55,681 --> 01:11:58,401
a secret, silent loathing and despair.
982
01:12:04,241 --> 01:12:05,681
Yeah, you're right.
Something has changed.
983
01:12:05,761 --> 01:12:07,441
I'm trying to get out of it, aren't I?
984
01:12:10,001 --> 01:12:11,481
I'm trying to get out of it.
985
01:12:12,841 --> 01:12:15,161
So right now,
you do or you don't want to go?
986
01:12:18,361 --> 01:12:19,441
I don't care.
987
01:12:19,601 --> 01:12:22,961
Have the past struggles succeeded?
What have they succeeded?
988
01:12:24,001 --> 01:12:25,281
THUNDER RUMBLES
989
01:12:25,521 --> 01:12:28,801
My call is the call of battle,
I nourish active rebellion.
990
01:12:28,881 --> 01:12:30,841
He going with me must go well armed.
991
01:12:30,921 --> 01:12:33,361
He going with me goes often
with spare diet
992
01:12:33,441 --> 01:12:36,281
poverty, angry enemies, desertions.
993
01:12:36,361 --> 01:12:38,201
Allons! The road is before us.
994
01:12:38,281 --> 01:12:39,641
It is safe, I have tried it.
995
01:12:39,721 --> 01:12:42,441
My own feet have tried it,
be not detained.
996
01:12:42,801 --> 01:12:44,841
Camerado, I will give you my hand!
997
01:12:44,921 --> 01:12:46,921
I give you my love,
more precious than money.
998
01:12:47,081 --> 01:12:49,281
I give you myself
before preaching or law.
999
01:12:49,361 --> 01:12:51,921
Will you give me yourself?
Will you come travel with me?
1000
01:12:52,001 --> 01:12:54,641
Shall we stick by each other
as long as we live?
1001
01:12:55,081 --> 01:12:57,281
INDISTINCT SINGING
1002
01:12:57,681 --> 01:12:59,361
THUNDER ROARS
1003
01:13:15,161 --> 01:13:16,281
THUNDER ROARS
1004
01:13:16,521 --> 01:13:19,041
Seems like it's a message
from the gods after all.
1005
01:13:20,721 --> 01:13:23,201
It's quite obvious
what they're saying about Thailand.
1006
01:13:24,921 --> 01:13:26,921
They're saying,
don't fucking go up there
1007
01:13:27,001 --> 01:13:29,121
in an aeroplane whatever you do.
Jesus.
1008
01:13:30,281 --> 01:13:33,921
Putting it off. Putting it off,
you know, putting it off in extremis.
1009
01:13:34,001 --> 01:13:34,921
Just...
1010
01:13:35,001 --> 01:13:37,401
Just one more bag and then we'll do it.
1011
01:13:38,121 --> 01:13:41,401
Trying to think of a way just to get myself
through that period of grace at rehab.
1012
01:13:41,481 --> 01:13:42,721
Wanted to try and take something with me
1013
01:13:42,801 --> 01:13:45,881
so it was all about experiment
with hollowing out apples and things
1014
01:13:45,961 --> 01:13:49,281
and little... you know,
the lining of your dressing gown cord.
1015
01:13:49,401 --> 01:13:50,601
The lining of pants.
1016
01:13:56,241 --> 01:13:58,241
RADIO IN FRENCH:
1017
01:14:43,561 --> 01:14:46,001
241 kilometres!
1018
01:14:47,041 --> 01:14:49,641
241 kilometres, but where're we going?
1019
01:14:51,521 --> 01:14:52,681
Happiness!
1020
01:14:53,361 --> 01:14:55,481
Alright, we'll get there in no time.
1021
01:14:58,481 --> 01:14:59,441
Time had come.
1022
01:14:59,521 --> 01:15:02,321
I think I was just, I don't know,
praying that God would intervene
1023
01:15:02,401 --> 01:15:04,361
and lightning would strike
the rehab or something
1024
01:15:04,441 --> 01:15:06,761
if I put it off long enough,
but it was still standing
1025
01:15:06,841 --> 01:15:10,681
and they just put me in this 4X4
and took me to the place.
1026
01:15:10,801 --> 01:15:12,921
And all periods of grace were cancelled.
1027
01:15:14,241 --> 01:15:15,601
This is a...
1028
01:15:15,921 --> 01:15:17,241
a crushed flower.
1029
01:15:18,241 --> 01:15:21,761
Crushed flower
is just kind of symbolic of the addict in me
1030
01:15:21,841 --> 01:15:22,881
at the moment.
1031
01:15:23,121 --> 01:15:24,921
The crushed flower of my addiction.
1032
01:15:25,321 --> 01:15:27,561
BIRDS CHIRP, DISTANT MUSIC
1033
01:15:34,121 --> 01:15:35,481
Welcome, so here we are.
1034
01:15:35,561 --> 01:15:36,601
At the...
1035
01:15:36,921 --> 01:15:39,241
Well, hope,
and hope changes everything.
1036
01:15:40,281 --> 01:15:41,441
It certainly changed me.
1037
01:15:41,521 --> 01:15:44,961
Well, I don't have a crack pipe
in my mouth or in my pocket.
1038
01:15:45,041 --> 01:15:47,841
There's one in my cabin.
But alas, there's no...
1039
01:15:49,161 --> 01:15:50,321
nothing to smoke in it.
1040
01:15:50,401 --> 01:15:52,881
And I don't really
feel the need right this second
1041
01:15:52,961 --> 01:15:53,801
but then...
1042
01:15:55,041 --> 01:15:55,961
um...
1043
01:16:03,561 --> 01:16:04,881
Yeah. Day three.
1044
01:16:06,921 --> 01:16:07,841
I'm struggling.
1045
01:16:07,921 --> 01:16:10,441
I'm struggling with not taking drugs,
of course
1046
01:16:10,521 --> 01:16:12,201
which is why I'm in rehab. Erm...
1047
01:16:12,801 --> 01:16:14,601
but I'm fit and healthy, ish.
1048
01:16:15,241 --> 01:16:17,641
I'm healing, all my sores are healing.
1049
01:16:18,881 --> 01:16:19,841
Er...
1050
01:16:22,721 --> 01:16:24,041
And I'm a bloody fool
1051
01:16:24,481 --> 01:16:27,001
because I'm plotting this
and plotting that, but...
1052
01:16:27,521 --> 01:16:28,561
here I remain.
1053
01:16:30,121 --> 01:16:31,121
Over and out.
1054
01:16:36,201 --> 01:16:39,961
I am struggling a lickle bit today.
1055
01:16:41,481 --> 01:16:44,921
Er, yeah, I haven't had
any methadone though, so...
1056
01:16:45,441 --> 01:16:48,961
But here we are in paradise.
And yeah, just...
1057
01:16:49,961 --> 01:16:53,521
I think I need to sit down
with my typewriter and my guitar
1058
01:16:53,681 --> 01:16:56,001
you know,
for a few hours on my own, and...
1059
01:16:56,481 --> 01:16:59,841
you know, get back in touch
with my creative ambitions
1060
01:17:00,561 --> 01:17:02,041
cos I know they're there, but...
1061
01:17:02,241 --> 01:17:04,121
I want dwugs, I want dwugs!
1062
01:17:04,721 --> 01:17:05,881
Wee! Me!
1063
01:17:17,441 --> 01:17:20,721
It's getting more and more difficult
by the day, I guess.
1064
01:17:22,961 --> 01:17:25,401
Yeah, I'm Pete and I'm an addict. Yeah.
1065
01:17:25,641 --> 01:17:27,241
How dare they?
1066
01:17:28,201 --> 01:17:29,361
How dare I?
1067
01:17:30,561 --> 01:17:32,441
How dare I get fucking clean?
1068
01:17:33,561 --> 01:17:36,241
Mark my words,
there will be hell to pay.
1069
01:17:37,561 --> 01:17:40,721
You can't just leave that monkey
lying there by the side of the pool.
1070
01:17:41,521 --> 01:17:43,121
You gotta take it home and feed it.
1071
01:17:43,681 --> 01:17:46,161
Yeah. You know what's going to happen,
don't you?
1072
01:17:47,001 --> 01:17:49,041
That monkey's gonna come crawling.
1073
01:17:49,121 --> 01:17:51,561
Might not be tonight.
Might not be tomorrow.
1074
01:17:51,641 --> 01:17:53,921
But slowly, inch by inch
1075
01:17:54,521 --> 01:17:57,201
night by night,
that monkey gonna find you.
1076
01:17:57,521 --> 01:17:59,881
It's gonna come
and when you least expect it
1077
01:17:59,961 --> 01:18:01,681
it's gonna sneak up on you, go "bargh!"
1078
01:18:30,241 --> 01:18:31,161
No...
1079
01:18:48,481 --> 01:18:50,121
DISTANT ROCK MUSIC
1080
01:18:54,361 --> 01:18:56,721
"Corpses in their Mouths"
by Ian Brown
1081
01:18:58,361 --> 01:19:00,041
Good day, really good day.
1082
01:19:00,361 --> 01:19:02,561
Probably the best day yet in treatment.
1083
01:19:09,041 --> 01:19:11,441
Feel... feel good, really.
1084
01:19:14,161 --> 01:19:15,321
Got over my relapse.
1085
01:19:15,401 --> 01:19:16,561
I think my body...
1086
01:19:17,841 --> 01:19:20,681
it's like I've got my energy back.
1087
01:19:21,921 --> 01:19:23,001
HE YAWNS
1088
01:19:23,761 --> 01:19:24,681
Um...
1089
01:19:30,001 --> 01:19:32,481
Carl came back too, as well, which is...
1090
01:19:35,081 --> 01:19:36,801
I was a little bit concerned about that.
1091
01:19:36,881 --> 01:19:37,721
But...
1092
01:19:40,641 --> 01:19:41,601
everything's...
1093
01:19:44,721 --> 01:19:47,161
everything's just as it should be, really.
1094
01:19:48,441 --> 01:19:50,201
I think. I love boo-boo.
1095
01:20:04,841 --> 01:20:06,681
INSECTS AND CREATURES CHIRP
1096
01:20:10,641 --> 01:20:12,361
They said getting clean was the easy bit.
1097
01:20:14,641 --> 01:20:17,161
And 15 years of blocked emotions
1098
01:20:17,241 --> 01:20:18,281
coming out...
1099
01:20:19,841 --> 01:20:21,401
that's going to be the tricky bit.
1100
01:20:22,081 --> 01:20:24,241
And that's what I'm running away from.
1101
01:20:26,921 --> 01:20:28,961
Because it has been quite an emotional...
1102
01:20:31,201 --> 01:20:32,681
couple of days, really.
1103
01:20:34,041 --> 01:20:36,281
Just the way everything
makes me cry, really.
1104
01:20:37,601 --> 01:20:39,681
But anyway, you know...
1105
01:20:41,561 --> 01:20:42,641
I don't quite...
1106
01:20:44,161 --> 01:20:45,281
It made sense at the time.
1107
01:20:45,361 --> 01:20:48,521
I think I just needed to hear him say
that that's how it was for him.
1108
01:20:50,481 --> 01:20:53,721
It is 10 o'clock on Thursday
1109
01:20:53,801 --> 01:20:55,281
20th of November.
1110
01:20:56,201 --> 01:20:57,441
And I'm clean.
1111
01:20:58,641 --> 01:21:00,801
I've got my piss test there.
1112
01:21:01,961 --> 01:21:03,561
Hang on a second. I'll go get it.
1113
01:21:06,681 --> 01:21:09,561
I'm clean of cocaine, clean of heroin
1114
01:21:10,201 --> 01:21:13,721
clean of amphetamines,
and THC which is weed
1115
01:21:14,761 --> 01:21:17,001
and I'm also clean of methadone.
1116
01:21:17,081 --> 01:21:18,201
Now, I have had a Valium
1117
01:21:18,281 --> 01:21:22,081
so I'm not quite clean
of Benzedrines yet, but...
1118
01:21:28,121 --> 01:21:30,561
I think that will do for today's message.
1119
01:21:34,921 --> 01:21:36,081
I feel proud.
1120
01:21:36,401 --> 01:21:37,481
I do feel proud.
1121
01:21:37,561 --> 01:21:39,161
OK. See you tomorrow.
1122
01:21:42,481 --> 01:21:45,961
Yeah. Last two days have been oK,
I suppose.
1123
01:21:46,041 --> 01:21:47,601
Not much of a struggle.
1124
01:21:49,121 --> 01:21:52,281
But I feel good, went out tonight
just me and boo-boo
1125
01:21:52,361 --> 01:21:54,961
and didn't have a drink, so...
1126
01:21:56,041 --> 01:21:58,721
you know, I'm OK, I'm good.
1127
01:22:06,921 --> 01:22:08,401
I feel clean. I do.
1128
01:22:12,001 --> 01:22:14,681
I mean, I'm here and I'm not using.
1129
01:22:15,641 --> 01:22:17,041
I have had a few drinks.
1130
01:22:18,721 --> 01:22:21,841
It's not really the same. I know, but it is.
1131
01:22:24,481 --> 01:22:26,881
I feel good, I feel at peace.
1132
01:22:27,201 --> 01:22:30,761
But I think the only way you can be clean
is to follow the steps.
1133
01:22:31,881 --> 01:22:32,801
So...
1134
01:22:34,601 --> 01:22:36,561
We'll see, we'll see what happens.
1135
01:22:37,961 --> 01:22:39,041
We'll see.
1136
01:22:40,321 --> 01:22:42,841
"The Boy With The Thorn In His Side"
by The Smiths
1137
01:23:24,281 --> 01:23:26,201
CROWD ROARS
1138
01:23:46,161 --> 01:23:47,961
Don't think it would
ever have occurred to me
1139
01:23:48,041 --> 01:23:49,601
that he would appear on stage.
1140
01:23:49,681 --> 01:23:53,561
I wasn't ready for that,
nor was I welcoming, particularly at first.
1141
01:23:53,641 --> 01:23:55,121
You can see me smiling
1142
01:23:55,201 --> 01:23:57,441
but I was genuinely
shocked that he knew the words.
1143
01:24:11,601 --> 01:24:13,761
CROWD WHISTLES AND CHEERS
1144
01:24:29,201 --> 01:24:31,121
But he'd never come to gigs before.
1145
01:24:31,201 --> 01:24:35,201
I think that the only gig he'd ever seen
was an early Libertines gig in Germany
1146
01:24:35,281 --> 01:24:37,801
because he was still
posted in Germany in those days.
1147
01:24:38,201 --> 01:24:40,241
And then eight years of not talking to me.
1148
01:24:40,321 --> 01:24:42,561
And then another eight years,
so it's 15 years now
1149
01:24:42,641 --> 01:24:44,241
since he's even been to a show
1150
01:24:44,441 --> 01:24:47,001
and he wanders on stage, you know...
HE CHUCKLES
1151
01:24:47,081 --> 01:24:49,641
singing What A Waster
and doing that strange gesture
1152
01:24:49,721 --> 01:24:52,041
for the lyric about having
it going up her nose.
1153
01:24:52,121 --> 01:24:55,001
He is a bit of a karaoke maestro,
I think anyway.
1154
01:25:03,081 --> 01:25:05,601
So all these years later,
for him to come on
1155
01:25:05,681 --> 01:25:07,561
and know the lyrics as well, it was...
1156
01:25:07,841 --> 01:25:10,561
Honestly, I was a bit shocked
1157
01:25:10,641 --> 01:25:13,761
and embarrassed almost as much
by the fact my mum came on stage
1158
01:25:13,841 --> 01:25:15,001
with a birthday cake.
1159
01:25:17,241 --> 01:25:20,361
And had this crowd singing Happy Birthday.
1160
01:25:20,801 --> 01:25:21,761
You know...
1161
01:25:22,521 --> 01:25:25,001
It's supposed to be like
rock and roll mythology
1162
01:25:25,081 --> 01:25:26,841
but it was just like... a bit naff.
1163
01:25:27,441 --> 01:25:28,441
But I love them.
1164
01:25:30,281 --> 01:25:31,561
Happy birth...
1165
01:25:31,641 --> 01:25:32,841
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY" PLAYS
1166
01:25:32,921 --> 01:25:34,281
It made peace, you know.
1167
01:25:34,601 --> 01:25:36,001
Quite a magical moment.
1168
01:25:36,081 --> 01:25:39,201
I'm just grateful that he's not
disowned me anymore, you know.
1169
01:25:40,641 --> 01:25:42,001
Funny old world, isn't it?
1170
01:26:11,601 --> 01:26:13,481
I've been through an incredible journey
1171
01:26:13,561 --> 01:26:16,281
of consciousness, unconsciousness,
subconsciousness
1172
01:26:16,361 --> 01:26:20,121
and psychedelic, psychotropic
consciousness
1173
01:26:20,441 --> 01:26:23,121
chemical and intellectual curiosity
1174
01:26:24,761 --> 01:26:27,441
which sadly led to great
physical dependency
1175
01:26:27,521 --> 01:26:29,001
and physical degradation
1176
01:26:29,201 --> 01:26:31,041
from which I seem to have emerged.
1177
01:26:34,041 --> 01:26:35,921
Some days are more difficult than others.
1178
01:26:36,881 --> 01:26:40,161
It's a bit like a balancing act,
a high wire act, you know.
1179
01:26:40,921 --> 01:26:42,201
Just keep from falling.
1180
01:26:44,081 --> 01:26:45,961
It was a deep immersion in that life
1181
01:26:46,401 --> 01:26:48,481
and there's a great difference
between being clean
1182
01:26:48,961 --> 01:26:51,601
and being able to live
happy and free, clean
1183
01:26:51,681 --> 01:26:52,561
you know?
1184
01:26:53,161 --> 01:26:54,361
I can be clean
1185
01:26:55,041 --> 01:26:57,281
but I'm still putting time
between that immersion
1186
01:26:57,361 --> 01:26:59,161
and coming out of the waters.
1187
01:26:59,921 --> 01:27:01,881
It will take a little bit of time to dry.
1188
01:27:05,121 --> 01:27:08,201
I think I'd be interested in
working with people
1189
01:27:08,281 --> 01:27:10,321
who are in the thick of addiction.
1190
01:27:10,521 --> 01:27:13,201
I think I'd be pretty well qualified
to help them.
1191
01:27:13,801 --> 01:27:15,321
If anyone wants any help.
1192
01:27:16,881 --> 01:27:18,681
WAVES CRASH GENTLY
1193
01:27:30,121 --> 01:27:32,281
The talent is the man
1194
01:27:32,361 --> 01:27:34,601
and comes from the man,
and comes from the artist
1195
01:27:35,041 --> 01:27:36,721
and doesn't come from the drugs
1196
01:27:37,201 --> 01:27:39,121
and it never has come from the drugs.
1197
01:27:39,681 --> 01:27:42,521
Part of the fun and the challenge
of creating
1198
01:27:42,601 --> 01:27:45,001
is to create in spite of circumstances
1199
01:27:45,081 --> 01:27:48,041
so, in spite of being a drug addict
1200
01:27:48,121 --> 01:27:50,001
or in spite of being clean
1201
01:27:50,961 --> 01:27:52,001
I will create.
1202
01:27:53,081 --> 01:27:55,001
SEABIRDS CRY
1203
01:27:58,481 --> 01:28:02,001
"Looking For Someone Else To Be"
by Pete Doherty and the Puta Madres