1 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,800 [bright instrumental music playing] 2 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:27,920 [typing] 3 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:36,320 [Emma] 4 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:38,280 Mm… 5 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,720 T 6 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,040 "DCI Penny… 7 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:53,480 Something 8 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:59,520 had seen some murder scenes in her time, 9 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:02,160 but never one as… 10 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:09,880 …as this. 11 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,360 "'Who moved the body?' 12 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:15,600 she said. 13 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:22,440 "Snapped." 14 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,000 "Demanded." 15 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,240 "Entreated." 16 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:35,320 "Screamed"? 17 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:40,560 "She said." 18 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:42,320 [sighs] 19 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:53,200 [in funny voice] Nice cup of tea for the lady? 20 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,320 -No, thanks. -[grunts] 21 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:58,480 [in Scottish accent] Or eggy bread? 22 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,960 Can I do you some eggy bread, my wee midgie? 23 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:04,360 -No. Not for me. Thanks. -[in normal voice] No? 24 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,160 Now, who is Emma T. Wilde? 25 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,800 -Why's she using a word processor? -Don't read over my shoulder, Ian. 26 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,200 So very sorry. Thought you might need a reader. 27 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:15,960 It doesn't deserve a reader. It's crap. 28 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:19,040 Uh, it's not crap. Nothing you do is crap. 29 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,520 [sighs] Hmm? 30 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,240 -Why don't you go back to the play? -'Cause that too is crap. 31 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,080 -[smoke alarm blaring] -Oh shit! 32 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:28,680 [sighs] Oh God. 33 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:32,080 -[pots clattering] -[Ian groans] 34 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:33,600 [Emma] I'm going out tonight. 35 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:37,240 -I'm gonna stink. -[Ian grunts] Hot, hot, hot! 36 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:40,440 -You cannot eat that. It's burned. -You say burned. I say crispy. 37 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,400 Let's call the whole thing off. 38 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,960 -[siren wailing outside] -[Emma sighs] 39 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,000 Really wish you wouldn't fry that when I'm about to go out. 40 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:54,200 -I've gotta wash my hair again now. -No, you don't. 41 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:55,720 Come here. 42 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:59,080 -[inhales] That's my favorite smell. -Yeah. Bacon. 43 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:00,560 [grunts] Sorry. 44 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,600 [phone ringing] 45 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:09,200 -[receiver clatters] -[Ian] Mm. Whitehead-Morley residence. 46 00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:11,480 Hello, Leeds. 47 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:16,600 [laughs] We did lift up the carpet, yeah. No, there was no hardwood floor. 48 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:20,280 It was just damp chipboard and old newspapers, which was a shame. 49 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,720 [shower running] 50 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,640 Yeah. Yeah, but at least we are homeowners. 51 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,320 -It's ours. -Ian, have you seen my razor? 52 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,480 Things aren't that bad, are they? [laughs] 53 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:33,960 Just on the phone to your mom and dad. 54 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,040 -Tell them I'll call back tomorrow. -It's fine. They called to speak to me. 55 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,280 [chewing] She's good, yeah. 56 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:42,000 I do have a gig tonight. Yeah. Open mic, yeah. 57 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,320 Yeah. Mm-hmm. 58 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,520 Emma's… She's writing. Tap, tap, tap. 59 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,200 [chuckles] 60 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:52,440 Oh yeah. It's all happening. Yeah. 61 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,520 [gentle music playing] 62 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,640 [Ian] Mm. Mm. 63 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,680 -Yeah. Yeah. -[book thuds] 64 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,240 [Ian laughs] 65 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:05,760 [audience cheers] 66 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,440 Next week, llamas who can hum, 67 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:13,080 and baby monkeys who are being reunited with their mom. 68 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:16,080 -Aww! -[closing theme playing] 69 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:17,840 Cannot wait for that. 70 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:21,360 Hope to see you here at seven o'clock, BBC One, next week. 71 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:23,600 -Good night. -[audience cheers] 72 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,080 Hey. 73 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:34,320 -No, thank you. -Sure. 74 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:35,280 Cheers. 75 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,880 [phone beeps] 76 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:39,480 -[call connects] -Hey. 77 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,120 -Babe, did you see it? -No, sorry. I'm in town. 78 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,440 [man] All right, Dex? 79 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,600 -How'd it go? -Yeah, it was great. 80 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,640 Nine million last week up against the football. 81 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,240 Hopefully, this week we'll get more. 82 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:52,040 What time are you back? There's a party later. 83 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,720 Dex, what are you like? 84 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:55,840 -Well, it's all part of the job. -Is it? 85 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,440 -Of course it is. -Thanks. 86 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:01,040 -Aren't you filming tomorrow? -Yeah. Yeah. 87 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:02,360 But not till four. 88 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,600 I'm knackered. I'm gonna have a night in. 89 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:07,640 -[sighs] -Gotta go. Love you. 90 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,560 [Emma] Excuse me. 91 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,840 -Are you television's Dexter Mayhew? -The very same. 92 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,960 [sighs] Oh God, it's so nice to be out. 93 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,080 And it's been so long. 94 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:24,800 -Well, not that long. -Eh. 95 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,520 -You look lovely. -Ugh. No, I don't. 96 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,520 -Cool shoes. -Saxone. 97 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,400 -£12.99. -Mm. 98 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:35,240 One day, I'm gonna give you a compliment, and you won't reply with the price. 99 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:36,520 No. Never. 100 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:37,960 [both chuckle] 101 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:38,920 Come on. 102 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,360 [horn honks] 103 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,960 Ah, of course you've succumbed. 104 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,160 -To what? -You've got a mobile. 105 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:49,840 [Dexter] All right, you've got a choice. 106 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,480 Either you can phone me. 107 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,200 Actually me, personally. 108 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,120 Or you can phone a building, 109 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:58,200 in which I might just happen to be in at the time. 110 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,120 The building. 111 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:04,000 -And what if I don't pick up? -God forbid you should miss a call. 112 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,480 -I give you six months before you cave. -Never. 113 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:10,280 -That sounds like a bet. -Okay, a bet. 114 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:13,480 If I ever get a mobile phone, you can buy me dinner. 115 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:14,560 [scoffs] 116 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,760 -What, again? -[both laugh] 117 00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:19,520 -[Emma] Rude. -Come on. You're gonna like this place. 118 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,720 ["Rocks" by Primal Scream playing] 119 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,800 [indistinct chatter] 120 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,320 -Hiya. The usual? -Yeah. 121 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,880 PizzaExpress would've been fine. 122 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:38,560 Amazing, eh? 123 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:40,920 It looks like a cruise ship. 124 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,480 So nautical. Nautical but nice. 125 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,760 What time do we hit the iceberg? [chuckles] 126 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:48,680 -Ian joining us tonight? -What? 127 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:51,000 You sound like Ian. 128 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,560 [imitating Ian] "Nautical but nice." 129 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:54,920 [scoffs] Dexter! 130 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,120 What? 131 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,480 Love Ian. 132 00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,640 -Top bloke, Ian. -Mm. 133 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:03,160 -You should hear what he says about you. -Come on. Let's get a drink. 134 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,320 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 135 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,840 ♪ Get your rocks off Get your rocks off, honey… ♪ 136 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,600 -What do you want, Em? -Oh. Just a G&T, please. 137 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,520 Oh God, no. You're not in the pub now. Have a proper drink. 138 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,560 -[bartender] Yes, sir? -Two martinis. Bombay Sapphire. 139 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,680 -Very dry, with a twist. - 140 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,600 Trust me. Best martinis in London. 141 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,200 Look. Look. 142 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:28,360 The trick is to get everything really cold at the start. 143 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,880 -[ice cubes clink] -Ice water in the glass. 144 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:31,920 Gin in the freezer. 145 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,520 [cocktail shaker rattling] 146 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,200 And how do you know all this? 147 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,480 My mom taught me when I was, like, nine. 148 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,760 Oh. [chuckles] 149 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:45,160 Well, then. 150 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:47,680 To Alison. 151 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,160 -That was nice. What was that for? -I'm happy to see you. 152 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,160 Mm. 153 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:57,760 Oh God. 154 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:00,440 I've never had one of these before. 155 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,040 It's like getting punched in the face by a drink. 156 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,680 Instant drunkenness, which is exactly what I need. 157 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:07,440 Oh? 158 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:12,080 -Oh God. I don't even know where to start. -Don't start yet. 159 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,760 I'm just off to the loo. They're incredible here. 160 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:16,000 The best in London. 161 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,800 ♪ Get your rocks off, honey ♪ 162 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,480 ♪ Shake it now, now ♪ 163 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,280 ♪ Get 'em off downtown… ♪ 164 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,960 [patrons chatting and shouting] 165 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,440 -[seller] Cigarettes? -Huh? Oh. Um… 166 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:27,800 [clicks tongue] 167 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,000 -Would you like anything? -Oh. No, I'm sorry. I don't smoke. 168 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:34,360 Thanks. 169 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,400 [Dexter] Hello, you. 170 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:39,720 Cigarettes, sir? 171 00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:42,000 -I'll have 20 reds, please. -Mm-hmm. 172 00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:45,680 Thank you. Keep the change. 173 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,280 Cigarette girl. They're famous for it here. 174 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:57,480 [scoffs] 175 00:08:57,560 --> 00:09:00,160 Mm. Come on. Let's go to our table. 176 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,240 -♪ Get your rocks off ♪ -Mm. 177 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:03,640 [energetic music playing] 178 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,240 [woman laughs] 179 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:16,880 It's modern British. 180 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,240 I'm gonna have the oysters. 181 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:24,280 -They're natives, I think. -Ah. Are they friendly? 182 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,560 -What? -The natives. Are they friendly? 183 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:29,800 -Ian's back. -Dexter. 184 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,360 How is Mr. Ha Ha? 185 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:33,920 It's a genuine question. 186 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:36,840 Yeah. He's good. 187 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,520 He's, um, got a gig tonight. 188 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:44,640 And the flat's coming along. We're on the ladder and all that. 189 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,320 My parents are delighted. They love Ian. 190 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,640 I think my mom might actually be in love with him. 191 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:51,920 [Dexter chuckles] 192 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,200 -How come I've never met your mom? -[Emma] Why would you? 193 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:58,280 They've never visited me in London. Not once. Well, till now. 194 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,320 Now that I've got a boyfriend and my own home, it's like, "Ah." 195 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,240 "Now you make sense to us." 196 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:04,440 Mm. 197 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,240 My mom sends Ian packages. My dad rings him for a chat. 198 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,200 We're going on a four-day walking holiday in the Dales in September. 199 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,960 It's quite, um, intense. Bit of a runaway train. 200 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,720 -[waiter] What can I get you? -Uh… 201 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,840 Twelve of the native oysters, please. 202 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:22,640 They're sweeter than rock oysters, and they're more delicate. 203 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,200 I'll have the onglet, 204 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,160 and one more dry martini. And… 205 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:28,840 Oh, um… 206 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,800 Uh, yeah. Just the cod and chips is fine, thanks. 207 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,600 You're very knowledgeable all of a sudden. 208 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,840 -Meaning? -You seem to know a lot about food. 209 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:46,280 I love food and wine. I eat out most days now. 210 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:47,920 As a matter of fact, 211 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,520 I've been asked if I want to review for one of the Sundays. 212 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,040 Wow. Really? You're reviewing restaurants? 213 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,400 Uh, cocktail bars. 214 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,720 They've given me a weekly column called "Barfly." 215 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:03,040 It's, uh, sort of a man-about-town kind of thing. 216 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,560 And you'd write it yourself? 217 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,880 Of course I'd write it myself. [chuckles] 218 00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:10,960 Who else would write it? 219 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,960 Hmm. Red or white? 220 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:18,240 I think we should start with 221 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,560 a nice biscuity Muscadet, 222 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:21,880 and then a Margaux. 223 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:23,400 [mumbles] 224 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,080 Uh, how's Callum? 225 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,120 Do you see much of him, or… 226 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,560 No. No, not really. 227 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,600 Uh, why force it? You know. We have nothing in common. 228 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:42,440 I think it's important not to be too sentimental about these things. 229 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,320 [patrons cheer] 230 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,400 I just love the vibe in this place. 231 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,920 I mean, it's… it's… it's smart. 232 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,240 But a bit theatrical. 233 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:58,400 -It's fun. -Is she having fun, do you think? 234 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,600 [Dexter] I don't know, Em. Are the waiters? 235 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:01,680 The barman? 236 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,760 It's a job. It's the same. 237 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:07,400 It's not quite the same. She's the only one showing her ass. 238 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,800 Well, what can I say? Maybe her woolly black tights are in the wash. 239 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,240 Maybe she's enjoying it. Maybe she feels sexy in that outfit. 240 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,120 -That's feminism, isn't it? -First wave or second? 241 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,280 [sighs] 242 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,320 Can we just not tonight? 243 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,040 [clears throat] 244 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,560 -I'd quite like to have a nice time. -Yeah. So would I. 245 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:27,600 [Dexter] Great. 246 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:33,840 Well, Tilly's good. 247 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:38,280 Yeah. She's lusting after this guy from Nottingham called Graham. 248 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,880 -Acid House Graham, we call him-- -Back soon. 249 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,360 [intense dance music playing] 250 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,800 [bell dings] 251 00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,320 -[glass shatters] -[group cheers] 252 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:07,120 [exhales, clears throat] 253 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:10,920 Same again, please. 254 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,520 More? Already? 255 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,360 What can I say? I'm like one of those beagles. 256 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:16,840 [chuckles] 257 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:19,720 -[Dexter] Just can't stop myself. -[seller laughs] 258 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,920 Thank you. 259 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,880 Just out of interest, what time do you finish today? 260 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,360 -[chuckles] -[laughs] 261 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:30,520 [Dexter sniffles] 262 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:33,560 [exhales] 263 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:38,240 Do you two know each other? 264 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:40,440 Oh. No, no, no, no. 265 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,640 I just had to stock up. There's a party later. 266 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,360 [slurps] 267 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:47,760 Mm. 268 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,480 My mate, Oliver. 269 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:54,200 -I've told you about him. He's a baronet. -Oh, and? 270 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:55,360 What do you mean? 271 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,560 What's that got to do with anything? Why mention it? 272 00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,840 Uh, to identify him. [chuckles] 273 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,880 I know about nine people called Oliver. Lemon? 274 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:03,960 No, thanks. 275 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,280 [Dexter exhales] 276 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,040 So where's the party? 277 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:13,400 [clears throat] Holland Park. 278 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:15,560 Massive great house. 279 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:18,880 Everyone from my show's gonna be there. Bands, actors. 280 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:22,760 -You're, um… You're welcome to come. -Mm. Sounds like it. 281 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:26,800 No, of course you are. It's just… You won't know anyone, that's all. 282 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:28,040 I'll know 283 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:29,680 [seller] Having fun? 284 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:31,680 Hi. 285 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,040 -[Emma] And Suki. -Yeah. 286 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:41,240 Suki's doing really well, isn't she? Her new show is massive. 287 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,080 Yeah, we both are. 288 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,520 You know, I prefer doing the late-night stuff. 289 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,040 More edgy. 290 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:49,800 How's it going? 291 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,720 -Everyone wants a piece. It's mad. -I meant with the two of you. 292 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:54,880 Yeah, she's great. 293 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:56,680 She gets it. 294 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:58,600 Gets what? 295 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:00,400 Being on telly. 296 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,960 She… She… She understands. 297 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,920 Well, that's romantic. 298 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:09,640 [sighs] 299 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,320 So this party, it's… You know. 300 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,560 Uh… [smacks lips] 301 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,720 -I'm just worried about you getting home. -It's okay, Dex. I get it. 302 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:21,640 No. No, I want you to come. Of course I do. 303 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,120 Let's play it by ear, yeah? 304 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,480 -Yeah, okay. -[sniffles] Just a sec. 305 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,560 ["Glorybox" by Portishead playing] 306 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:32,520 [sizzling] 307 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,960 ♪ I'm so tired ♪ 308 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,680 ♪ Of playing ♪ 309 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,080 ♪ Playing with this bow and arrow ♪ 310 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,480 ♪ Gonna give my heart away ♪ 311 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:49,720 ♪ Leave it to the other girls to play ♪ 312 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:54,920 ♪ For I've been a temptress too long ♪ 313 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,600 [woman] Love the show, Dex. 314 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,000 Thank you. 315 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:04,560 ♪ Give me a reason to love you ♪ 316 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:06,880 [exhales] 317 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,040 ♪ Give me a reason… ♪ 318 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,360 [Dexter] Got a tutorial? 319 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,000 [Dexter sighs] 320 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,440 -How's your steak? -Sensational. 321 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:30,920 Yeah. Really rare. 322 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,280 -How's the fish? -Cold. 323 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,800 It's opaque. That's how fish is supposed to be cooked. So it turns opaque. 324 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,560 Dexter, it's opaque because it's been deep-frozen. 325 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,120 It hasn't been fully defrosted. 326 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:47,880 Is it? 327 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:51,720 Are you… [scoffs] 328 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:56,280 I'm not paying for fucking Birds Eye fucking frozen fish. Hey! 329 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,680 Can you take this off the bill? It's not cooked. And we'll see the menu. 330 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:02,240 -I'm fine. -[Dexter] It's not fine. 331 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,160 -You need a main course. -I'm really not hungry. 332 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,560 Can you just get something? They're not gonna understand if you don't. 333 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:09,000 A green salad, please. 334 00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:19,760 This is going well. 335 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:28,600 [sighs] 336 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:30,880 What? 337 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,560 What have I done? Hmm. 338 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,880 What have I done now? 339 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:46,560 Can we just… Can we just go back to what we were talking about before? 340 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:49,560 Ian, your mom. 341 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,640 Let's not. 342 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,240 Fine. Then tell me something new. 343 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,440 Uh, your writing. How's the play? 344 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,960 -It's a novel. -[Dexter] A novel? 345 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:02,560 Last time I saw you, you were writing a play. 346 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,960 Yeah, but it wasn't working, so I moved on. 347 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,640 Okay. [sighs] 348 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,560 -Meaning? -It's just… 349 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,560 -Never mind. -No, come on. What? 350 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:20,240 What's the point starting things if you're never gonna finish them? 351 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,200 -[mutters] -I mean, seriously, Em. Huh? 352 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:28,000 Have you finished anything since, what? The year after we left Edinburgh? 353 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:34,200 I've got this friend, okay? She's a screenwriter. 354 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:38,080 She's super successful. She says if you're talking about writing, 355 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,560 then you're not writing. Either you're writing or you're not. 356 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,880 -Do it or don't do it. -[Emma] Wow. 357 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,800 Thanks, Dexter, for that valuable tip. 358 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,800 The thing is, maybe your friend doesn't also work full-time, 359 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,320 so she may not understand it's not quite as simple as that. 360 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,000 [chuckles] Is that the issue? 361 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:56,400 Come on, Em. That's not the issue. 362 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,800 -But you don't wanna hear it. -Hear what? 363 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,120 Look, it's your life. 364 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,920 Okay? But if you ever wanna get out of teaching-- 365 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,400 -Why would I want to get out? -You're shouting. 366 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,960 -I'm a bloody good teacher. -Yep. No doubt. 367 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:15,080 [song ends] 368 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,360 You know what they say about teaching, right? 369 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:19,880 No, Dex. 370 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,760 I'm not familiar. What do they say? 371 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:30,800 [sighs] 372 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,480 Those who can, do. 373 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:41,800 Those who can't… 374 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,080 -Say, "Fuck yourself, Dexter!" -Jesus Christ! 375 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,640 [patrons murmuring] 376 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:46,560 Shit! 377 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:51,520 [groans] 378 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:55,480 -No more martinis for you. -Get off me. 379 00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:59,800 -Are you okay? -[crying] Yeah. 380 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:04,720 [sighs] 381 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,560 [somber music playing] 382 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:16,600 [whistling in distance] 383 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:24,840 Emma! Emma, come on. 384 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:28,400 -[groans] Come on. Come on. -The night's over, Dexter. I'm going home. 385 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:31,520 Whatever it is I've done, I'm sorry. Whatever you are angry about-- 386 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,600 -You don't know? -No, I don't know! 387 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:37,560 I don't know. So can you please just… just chill the fuck out? 388 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:40,520 We can go somewhere and calm down. We're both a bit pissed. 389 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,080 No, 390 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:46,160 You're always drunk or off your face on something every single time I see you. 391 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,600 Do you realize I haven't seen you sober for about three years? 392 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,760 I don't remember what you're like sober. 393 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:55,600 And running to the loo every ten minutes. I don't know if it's dysentery or coke, 394 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,640 but either way, it's fucking rude. And most of all, it's boring. 395 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,280 Even if you are there, it's in body only. 396 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,400 The whole time you're looking over my shoulder for a better option. 397 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,160 -Not true. -"This one's a baronet." 398 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,600 "This one's got a bloody great house." It's such bollocks, Dexter. 399 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,040 [sniffles] Okay, you're a TV presenter. 400 00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:15,800 You've not invented penicillin, broken a deadlock on the security council. 401 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:19,160 It's TV, and it's crap TV at that. Well, sod it. I've had enough. 402 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,280 Look, can we go somewhere and talk about this? 403 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,640 -I don't wanna talk about it. -Stop. It's me! 404 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,880 It's me. Please, just come here. 405 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,920 -[Emma sniffles] -[sighs] 406 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,320 Why are you being like this, Dexter? 407 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,560 -I'm just being myself. -No, you're not. 408 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,480 I know what you're like. This isn't you. 409 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,120 You're horrible like this, Dexter. You're obnoxious. 410 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,560 You always were a bit obnoxious, every now and then. 411 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,920 A bit full of yourself. But you were funny too, 412 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:01,200 and kind sometimes, and interested in people other than yourself. 413 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,040 -[quietly] I'm just having fun. -I know. 414 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:14,040 I know you've been through a lot in the last few years with your mom. 415 00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:16,720 I've tried to understand that. Really, I have, but 416 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,920 you're just not the person I used to know. 417 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:22,920 We're not friends anymore, Dex. We're just not. 418 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,480 -You're always canceling and postponing. -Or you are. 419 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,280 But tonight, there was stuff I needed to talk to you about. 420 00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:29,920 About Ian and me. 421 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,760 But I can't talk to you anymore, and if I can't, 422 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,840 then what's the point of this? 423 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:37,400 Maybe it's just done. 424 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:39,760 -What's done? -Us. 425 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:41,240 The friendship. 426 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,800 You said it yourself. There's no point getting sentimental about it. 427 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:48,080 -Move on. One in, one out. -Oh, I wasn't talking about us. 428 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,080 I mean, we're Dex and Em. Aren't we? 429 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,360 No. You used to make me feel good about myself. 430 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,520 But now you make me feel like shit. 431 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,680 Like I'm not cool enough or interesting enough or ambitious enough. 432 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:14,240 -I don't think that. -Well, good. 'Cause it's bollocks. 433 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:17,040 I am cool and interesting and ambitious. 434 00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:20,640 In fact, I'm fucking great, and you used to think so too. [sniffles] 435 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,760 If you don't, fine. I'm not up for being treated like an obligation. 436 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:27,520 Like a chore. Like you always want to be somewhere else with someone else. 437 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,440 Sometimes I just get a bit carried away, all right? 438 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:37,680 If you weren't so judgmental all the time. 439 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:38,720 -Am I? -Yeah. 440 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,280 Well, I… 441 00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:43,120 I… I don't think I am. Well, I… I try not to be. 442 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:44,800 Yeah. Well, you are. 443 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,480 And patronizing. 444 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,800 And… censorious. 445 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,080 -Censorious? -You're doing it again! 446 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,240 What am I doing? 447 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:57,000 "Censorious?" Like, "How could he know that word?" 448 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,120 Because I'm so thick. 449 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:02,680 Such a lunk. 450 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:04,520 So beneath you. 451 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,960 "How could he ever possibly write his own column?" 452 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,280 "I'm Emma Morley. I got a first." 453 00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:17,520 -What the fuck are you talking about? -So fucking what, Em? 454 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:25,040 'Cause here in the real world, I'm actually doing really well. 455 00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:28,760 And all you ever do is mock it. 456 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:34,360 But, you know, 457 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,400 envy is the tax you pay on success and all that. 458 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,080 [under breath] Wow. 459 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,760 Is that really what you think is going on here? 460 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,680 -Fuck this. -No. I… 461 00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,160 Listen. I remember when we were 22, and you said, 462 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,320 "What do you wanna be when you're 40?" And I said, "Rich and famous," 463 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:04,920 and you took the piss. 464 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:06,480 Fine. 465 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,120 But I did it. 466 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,520 I actually did what I said I was gonna do. 467 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,600 I may not be 40 yet, but I made it happen. 468 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:18,560 And you? 469 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:20,920 What? 470 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,080 You haven't, Em. 471 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,200 I don't know what you said you wanted from this world, 472 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,240 but I'm sure this wasn't it. 473 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:34,680 "This"? 474 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,840 Throwing your lot in with someone who adores you, who you don't love. 475 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:42,440 Am I wrong? 476 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:45,240 [scoffs] 477 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:48,800 Bye, Dex. 478 00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:50,480 Emma. 479 00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:52,760 [Emma] I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. 480 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:53,720 [Dexter] Emma! 481 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:56,800 [somber string music playing] 482 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:11,840 [inhales sharply] 483 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,120 [sighs] 484 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:26,880 [quietly] Ah, shit. 485 00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:42,360 [dog barking in distance] 486 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,600 [man on TV] But only part of it. 487 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:56,840 His master is indeed, as you rightly said, a monster. 488 00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:00,440 -He's also a vampire. -Hmm. You're back early. 489 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,080 How was Terry Wogan? 490 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:05,560 Awful. [sighs] 491 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:07,720 Why? What happened? 492 00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:09,960 I don't wanna talk about it. 493 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:16,600 How was the gig? 494 00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:19,160 Mm-hmm. 495 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,720 -Did you do the cats and dogs thing? -Yep. 496 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:23,760 Was there heckling? 497 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,120 -Yeah, a little bit. -Mm. 498 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,840 Maybe it's not your best material. 499 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,080 -A bit of booing, actually, tonight. -Booing? 500 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:40,000 Oh. 501 00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:44,680 -That's just part of it, though, isn't it? -Mm. 502 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:47,280 Suppose so. 503 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,600 I suppose sometimes I just worry. 504 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:56,160 What? 505 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:00,600 That I might not be very funny. 506 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:05,160 Ian. 507 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:07,800 Oui? 508 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:14,880 You are a very, very funny man. 509 00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,280 [chuckles softly] Thanks, Em. 510 00:28:19,360 --> 00:28:21,360 ["The Wild Ones" by Suede playing] 511 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:43,120 ♪ Mmm, there's a song playing ♪ 512 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,600 ♪ On the radio ♪ 513 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:54,680 ♪ Sky high in the airwaves ♪ 514 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:59,080 ♪ On the morning show ♪ 515 00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:06,360 ♪ And there's a lifeline slippin' ♪ 516 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:10,000 ♪ 517 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,120 ♪ As I open the blinds ♪ 518 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:17,800 ♪ In my mind, I'm believing ♪ 519 00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:20,920 ♪ That you could stay ♪ 520 00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:28,200 ♪ And oh, if you stay ♪ 521 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:33,360 ♪ Well, I'll chase The rain-blown fears away ♪ 522 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:36,400 ♪ We'll shine like the morning ♪ 523 00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:38,600 ♪ 524 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,960 ♪ Oh, if you stay ♪