1 00:00:05,843 --> 00:00:08,883 All good things must come to an end. 2 00:00:08,923 --> 00:00:10,763 Gentlemen, I have been sacked! 3 00:00:10,803 --> 00:00:13,203 Why did they get rid of you? I don't know. 4 00:00:13,243 --> 00:00:15,563 They've never spent any money on this show. 5 00:00:15,603 --> 00:00:17,683 Now they're spending a fortune just to get rid of you. 6 00:00:17,723 --> 00:00:20,163 Scene 14, farewell to Meg. 7 00:00:20,203 --> 00:00:22,683 Nolly! You idiot. 8 00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:25,883 It's Noele Gordon leaving behind her tatty old soap 9 00:00:25,923 --> 00:00:28,763 and becoming the star she always was. 10 00:00:28,803 --> 00:00:31,523 Do you think I'd let those bastards stop me? I've got plans! 11 00:00:32,523 --> 00:00:34,323 JIMMY TARBUCK: He's got no magic powers, 12 00:00:34,363 --> 00:00:36,683 he just can't get out of the bath. LAUGHTER 13 00:00:36,723 --> 00:00:38,883 And the winner is... 14 00:00:38,923 --> 00:00:42,443 it's no surprise, I give you, ladies and gentlemen, 15 00:00:42,483 --> 00:00:45,403 Miss Noele Gordon! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 16 00:01:04,283 --> 00:01:06,923 Well done, Nolly. Bless you, sweetheart. 17 00:01:06,963 --> 00:01:09,523 The inaugural member of the TV Times Hall Of Fame! 18 00:01:09,563 --> 00:01:11,803 Now, they invented this award to get Nolly out of the way, 19 00:01:11,843 --> 00:01:14,003 cos she keeps winning Best Actress every year! 20 00:01:14,043 --> 00:01:16,403 You're a very naughty man, Jimmy. 21 00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:17,963 I'm sure that's not true. 22 00:01:18,003 --> 00:01:20,323 SHE CHUCKLES But, erm, still... 23 00:01:20,363 --> 00:01:24,123 if I'm stepping aside, then maybe one of my dear friends 24 00:01:24,163 --> 00:01:26,803 from the cast of Coronation Street might win. 25 00:01:26,843 --> 00:01:28,923 AUDIENCE: Oooh...! At last. 26 00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:30,363 If they're lucky. 27 00:01:30,403 --> 00:01:32,243 Coronation Street, everyone. 28 00:01:32,283 --> 00:01:34,603 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 29 00:01:55,643 --> 00:01:58,283 Morning, Nolls. All right, love? Fine. Yes. 30 00:01:58,323 --> 00:02:00,323 Good morning, everyone. 31 00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:07,683 Two, three, and one. 32 00:02:07,723 --> 00:02:10,083 One, two, three. Again. 33 00:02:10,123 --> 00:02:12,523 One, two, three. 34 00:02:12,563 --> 00:02:14,323 One more. 35 00:02:14,363 --> 00:02:16,403 And reach. 36 00:02:20,763 --> 00:02:22,643 One, two, three, and onto the floor. 37 00:02:23,923 --> 00:02:26,243 And legs. Right, then. 38 00:02:26,283 --> 00:02:28,683 Over, one, two, three, four. 39 00:02:28,723 --> 00:02:30,283 And one, two... 40 00:02:33,043 --> 00:02:35,483 AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR: ..seven, eight, take it up. 41 00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:37,003 And one. 42 00:02:37,043 --> 00:02:38,603 And two. 43 00:02:38,643 --> 00:02:39,963 Three. 44 00:02:40,003 --> 00:02:42,403 And four. Keep it slow. 45 00:02:42,443 --> 00:02:45,003 One, two, three, four, 46 00:02:45,043 --> 00:02:46,523 five and six. Ooph! 47 00:02:46,563 --> 00:02:49,363 One, two, 48 00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:52,083 three, four, five, 49 00:02:52,123 --> 00:02:54,763 six, seven, eight, 50 00:02:54,803 --> 00:02:57,563 Don't give up, girls. Let's go. Two... 51 00:02:57,603 --> 00:03:00,643 Oh, it's good. It's very good. I'm excited. 52 00:03:00,683 --> 00:03:04,043 I mean, Gypsy is one of the greatest shows in the world. 53 00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:06,163 Roger's a delight. 54 00:03:06,203 --> 00:03:09,523 Fiona's a miracle. She's going to take a lot of people by surprise. 55 00:03:09,563 --> 00:03:12,843 And, er, it's lavish. The sets are astonishing. 56 00:03:12,883 --> 00:03:14,603 How big's the orchestra? 14. 57 00:03:14,643 --> 00:03:15,803 Wow! 58 00:03:15,843 --> 00:03:17,083 In Leicester? 59 00:03:17,123 --> 00:03:18,843 Top notch. Mm. 60 00:03:18,883 --> 00:03:22,283 And the company, it's very sweet. I'm the mother hen. 61 00:03:22,323 --> 00:03:24,323 You were born to be adored by the male chorus. 62 00:03:24,363 --> 00:03:25,843 And I include myself. 63 00:03:26,923 --> 00:03:29,643 How's the show? Good. Fine, I think. 64 00:03:29,683 --> 00:03:31,563 Adam's got religion. 65 00:03:31,603 --> 00:03:33,803 Which amounts to me wandering around in a mac. 66 00:03:33,843 --> 00:03:35,443 Hm. Do you ever...? 67 00:03:36,603 --> 00:03:38,963 Do you still watch? No. Far too busy. 68 00:03:39,003 --> 00:03:40,043 Mm. 69 00:03:42,603 --> 00:03:46,523 CROSSROADS THEME TUNE PLAYS 70 00:03:46,563 --> 00:03:47,843 How are the ratings? 71 00:03:48,883 --> 00:03:50,363 Going down. 72 00:03:51,483 --> 00:03:53,203 All the talk... 73 00:03:53,243 --> 00:03:55,523 is about transferring to the West End. 74 00:03:55,563 --> 00:03:57,123 That's all we hear, all day long. 75 00:03:57,163 --> 00:03:59,003 Which theatre? The Adelphi. 76 00:03:59,043 --> 00:04:01,843 But the point is, if we don't transfer, 77 00:04:01,883 --> 00:04:04,203 I'll have failed. Not the show. Me. 78 00:04:04,243 --> 00:04:06,723 I don't think that's fair. That's what people are waiting for. 79 00:04:06,763 --> 00:04:08,563 The story writes itself. 80 00:04:08,603 --> 00:04:13,043 "TV star sacked, goes on stage, dies." 81 00:04:13,083 --> 00:04:16,083 They're in for a surprise, then. Because I can't shake it off. 82 00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:17,483 "What happened?" 83 00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:20,283 Every sodding day, I get asked the same question... 84 00:04:20,323 --> 00:04:21,883 Why did they get rid of you, Nolly? 85 00:04:21,923 --> 00:04:23,843 But why did Crossroads sack you? 86 00:04:23,883 --> 00:04:26,483 I don't understand it. Why on earth were you sacked? 87 00:04:26,523 --> 00:04:29,003 Oh, and here it comes again. 88 00:04:29,043 --> 00:04:32,683 I'm sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting your meal, 89 00:04:32,723 --> 00:04:35,843 but my mother's such a fan. 90 00:04:35,883 --> 00:04:38,163 Do you think...? Could I have your autograph? 91 00:04:38,203 --> 00:04:40,043 Of course, darling. 92 00:04:41,283 --> 00:04:44,243 Any second now. And what's your mother's name? 93 00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:47,443 Alice. "To Alice." 94 00:04:47,483 --> 00:04:50,123 Three, two, one... 95 00:04:50,163 --> 00:04:53,323 I hope you don't mind my asking, but why did they get rid of you? 96 00:04:53,363 --> 00:04:56,283 I don't know, dear. I do not know. 97 00:04:56,323 --> 00:04:58,043 I don't know, all right? 98 00:04:58,083 --> 00:04:59,403 Sorry. 99 00:05:02,763 --> 00:05:04,963 Mind you, why did they? 100 00:05:05,003 --> 00:05:07,603 I still think there's something we've not been told. 101 00:05:07,643 --> 00:05:11,603 Oh, and do you know what they're saying about me in Leicester? 102 00:05:11,643 --> 00:05:13,963 GIGGLING 103 00:05:14,003 --> 00:05:16,203 STIFLED LAUGHTER 104 00:05:16,243 --> 00:05:18,123 TONY: I mean, if it's any consolation, 105 00:05:18,163 --> 00:05:19,963 people often think I'm a lesbian, too. 106 00:05:20,003 --> 00:05:21,843 It's my walk. 107 00:05:21,883 --> 00:05:23,803 I like a heavy boot. Yes, madam? 108 00:05:23,843 --> 00:05:25,883 Yes, erm, do you see the lady in the blue dress? 109 00:05:25,923 --> 00:05:27,283 I'll pay her bill. 110 00:05:27,323 --> 00:05:29,403 Sure, madam. Thank you. 111 00:05:29,443 --> 00:05:31,563 Oh, not the wine. No problem. 112 00:05:31,603 --> 00:05:32,803 No. 113 00:05:32,843 --> 00:05:35,563 But the pressure is on me, and it's on me alone. 114 00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:36,963 My first entrance, 115 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:40,483 he's got me coming in from the back of the auditorium. 116 00:05:40,523 --> 00:05:42,763 Oh, very modern. They've all seen Cats. 117 00:05:42,803 --> 00:05:45,283 Mm. Roger keeps on saying... 118 00:05:45,323 --> 00:05:47,003 Nolly, you come in from there, 119 00:05:47,043 --> 00:05:49,363 and the entire audience will be amazed. 120 00:05:49,403 --> 00:05:53,443 But the entire audience will be facing the wrong way. 121 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,043 And you'll surprise them. 122 00:05:55,083 --> 00:05:56,483 Gloriously! 123 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:59,723 Cora, you open the door. And, Nolly, you say the line. 124 00:06:04,923 --> 00:06:07,403 AMERICAN ACCENT: Sing out, Louise. Sing out! 125 00:06:07,443 --> 00:06:08,563 Bigger. 126 00:06:09,723 --> 00:06:11,763 Sing out, Louise. Sing out! 127 00:06:11,803 --> 00:06:13,683 Even bigger! 128 00:06:13,723 --> 00:06:15,803 Sing out, Louise! Sing out! 129 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:17,283 Bigger, Nolly. 130 00:06:17,323 --> 00:06:21,083 Fill the space, make everyone turn around. 131 00:06:22,323 --> 00:06:24,323 Sing out, Louise! Sing out! 132 00:06:24,363 --> 00:06:26,683 Sing out, Louise! Sing out! 133 00:06:26,723 --> 00:06:29,203 Sing out, Louise! Sing out! 134 00:06:29,243 --> 00:06:32,203 He keeps on saying, "Bigger, and bigger, and bigger." 135 00:06:32,243 --> 00:06:33,483 And I can't. 136 00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:35,443 I don't just want people turning their heads. 137 00:06:35,483 --> 00:06:37,403 I want them to burst into applause. 138 00:06:37,443 --> 00:06:41,003 I want this whole theatre to see Miss Noele Gordon 139 00:06:41,043 --> 00:06:42,763 bring the house down! 140 00:06:44,603 --> 00:06:47,123 It sounds rather marvellous. Yeah, but don't you see, I can't? 141 00:06:47,163 --> 00:06:49,243 I don't think I can do it. The place will erupt! 142 00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:51,763 Just listen to me for a second! I didn't bring you here 143 00:06:51,803 --> 00:06:54,163 to tell me that everything's going to be all right. 144 00:06:54,203 --> 00:06:56,843 I am saying no-one is going to clap, 145 00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:58,403 because I can't do it. 146 00:06:58,443 --> 00:07:00,003 This part is a monster. 147 00:07:00,043 --> 00:07:02,283 She is a legend. She is a major piece of work. 148 00:07:02,323 --> 00:07:04,523 And I'm not good enough! 149 00:07:09,283 --> 00:07:10,643 OK. 150 00:07:11,803 --> 00:07:13,123 Sorry. 151 00:07:25,083 --> 00:07:26,963 SHE SIGHS HEAVILY 152 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,963 Rose has been played by Ethel Merman, for God's sake. 153 00:07:33,003 --> 00:07:34,403 Angela Lansbury. 154 00:07:34,443 --> 00:07:37,483 I'm someone who's wasted their time in a motel for 18 years. 155 00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:40,883 The most exciting thing I had to do was sack the chef. 156 00:07:40,923 --> 00:07:42,363 Mm. 157 00:07:42,403 --> 00:07:44,163 And I shouldn't smoke. 158 00:07:46,283 --> 00:07:48,043 I can't do it, Tony. 159 00:07:48,083 --> 00:07:49,523 I can't. 160 00:07:50,643 --> 00:07:53,363 You can see it in their faces. 161 00:07:55,043 --> 00:07:57,683 "That woman off TV." 162 00:07:57,723 --> 00:08:00,323 NOLLY: # Well, someone tell me When is it my turn? 163 00:08:00,363 --> 00:08:02,843 # Don't I get a dream for myself 164 00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:05,203 # Startin' now It's gonna be my turn 165 00:08:05,243 --> 00:08:07,963 # Gangway, world Get off of my runway 166 00:08:08,003 --> 00:08:10,523 # Startin' now, I bat a thousand 167 00:08:10,563 --> 00:08:15,083 # This time, boys I'm takin' the bows and... 168 00:08:15,123 --> 00:08:18,163 # Everything's coming up Rose 169 00:08:20,283 --> 00:08:24,483 # Everything's coming up roses 170 00:08:24,523 --> 00:08:28,083 # Everything's coming up roses 171 00:08:28,123 --> 00:08:30,003 # This time for me... # 172 00:08:31,003 --> 00:08:33,203 And it's huge, The Haymarket. 173 00:08:33,243 --> 00:08:34,643 It's huge. 174 00:08:34,683 --> 00:08:36,203 One thousand seats. 175 00:08:37,323 --> 00:08:38,763 Watching me fail. 176 00:08:38,803 --> 00:08:40,963 Have you said any of this? Hm? 177 00:08:41,003 --> 00:08:43,283 Have you tried talking to them? SHE SCOFFS 178 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:46,243 It's a long time since you've been in proper rehearsals. 179 00:08:46,283 --> 00:08:48,403 All they do is talk. 180 00:08:48,443 --> 00:08:50,923 I love it! I love every second of it! 181 00:08:50,963 --> 00:08:53,763 And I'll be damned if you're going to take it away from me! 182 00:08:53,803 --> 00:08:56,163 I am Gypsy Rose Lee. 183 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:59,723 I love her. And if you don't, you can clear out now! 184 00:09:01,283 --> 00:09:04,803 But do you think she's sad as well? Oh, yes, she's very sad. 185 00:09:04,843 --> 00:09:07,083 I mean, she's proud and she's angry, 186 00:09:07,123 --> 00:09:09,163 but she's still very sad. 187 00:09:10,363 --> 00:09:12,563 Don't you think, Nolly? Hm? 188 00:09:13,563 --> 00:09:14,723 Yes. 189 00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:17,483 I can't help thinking of myself when I was just starting out. 190 00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:19,883 'And then off we go.' 191 00:09:19,923 --> 00:09:21,083 Nonstop! 192 00:09:21,123 --> 00:09:22,763 FIONA: That's what I felt when I was 18. 193 00:09:22,803 --> 00:09:24,843 I thought, "If men just see me as pretty, 194 00:09:24,883 --> 00:09:28,003 "then, OK, I'll be pretty, but I'll be clever as well." 195 00:09:28,043 --> 00:09:30,123 I thought, "You just watch me." 196 00:09:30,163 --> 00:09:32,123 That's why this show says so much to me. 197 00:09:32,163 --> 00:09:35,203 It's all about taking control of your body. 198 00:09:35,243 --> 00:09:37,843 I think it's sad, for Rose. 199 00:09:37,883 --> 00:09:39,723 She's missed her chance. 200 00:09:40,803 --> 00:09:43,363 You've had things taken away from you, Nolly. 201 00:09:43,403 --> 00:09:45,883 You've been robbed of opportunities, don't you think? 202 00:09:47,163 --> 00:09:48,483 I think... 203 00:09:49,483 --> 00:09:51,323 ..it's all in the script. 204 00:09:51,363 --> 00:09:53,883 But it's 1933, and you were there, Nolly. 205 00:09:53,923 --> 00:09:56,443 You were on stage in 1933. 206 00:09:56,483 --> 00:09:58,603 You've actually survived it. 207 00:09:58,643 --> 00:10:01,883 I'm just asking you how. Well, does it matter? 208 00:10:01,923 --> 00:10:03,883 But Momma Rose loves Herbie, 209 00:10:03,923 --> 00:10:06,243 and you must've had someone who you loved... 210 00:10:07,243 --> 00:10:09,723 ..once, didn't you? 211 00:10:10,963 --> 00:10:13,963 Everything we need is on the page. Shall we just get on with it? 212 00:10:17,403 --> 00:10:18,803 OK. 213 00:10:18,843 --> 00:10:20,083 From the top. 214 00:10:25,203 --> 00:10:27,243 If you want my opinion... 215 00:10:33,843 --> 00:10:36,643 ..I think you're a coward. And a baby. 216 00:10:36,683 --> 00:10:38,123 And a bore. 217 00:10:38,163 --> 00:10:39,603 And, yes, you're absolutely right, 218 00:10:39,643 --> 00:10:41,923 you've waded through shit dialogue for 18 years. 219 00:10:41,963 --> 00:10:44,843 So now you're presented with one of the greatest scripts on God's Earth, 220 00:10:44,883 --> 00:10:46,603 then, yes, you're going to fail. 221 00:10:46,643 --> 00:10:48,923 You're determined to. Hugely. 222 00:10:48,963 --> 00:10:50,603 Visibly. Lavishly. 223 00:10:50,643 --> 00:10:52,043 Or... 224 00:10:52,083 --> 00:10:53,883 you can go back to Leicester... 225 00:10:54,963 --> 00:10:56,443 ..do your job... 226 00:10:57,723 --> 00:10:59,843 ..and fucking act! 227 00:11:19,123 --> 00:11:21,883 ROGER: Well, it was only a stagger through. 228 00:11:21,923 --> 00:11:24,203 And it wasn't exactly staggering. 229 00:11:24,243 --> 00:11:26,323 But we're getting there, bit by bit. 230 00:11:27,363 --> 00:11:29,323 I still think, Nolly, to, er, jump to the end... 231 00:11:29,363 --> 00:11:32,803 So, we could bring the whole of that last song much further downstage, 232 00:11:32,843 --> 00:11:35,003 right into the audience, right as! 233 00:11:35,043 --> 00:11:39,283 I suppose I just find that a bit exposing. 234 00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:41,563 That's how she feels. Yes. 235 00:11:41,603 --> 00:11:44,083 I get that. I do understand. 236 00:11:44,123 --> 00:11:46,723 I suppose it's the one thing I've been fighting. 237 00:11:46,763 --> 00:11:49,523 After, you know, all these years. 238 00:11:50,523 --> 00:11:51,923 I was, er... 239 00:11:54,603 --> 00:11:56,083 Did you know... 240 00:11:56,123 --> 00:12:00,603 that I was the first woman in the world 241 00:12:00,643 --> 00:12:03,723 to appear on colour television? Really? 242 00:12:03,763 --> 00:12:06,963 And that is where I stayed, on camera. 243 00:12:07,003 --> 00:12:10,723 And I was happy there for a long, long time. 244 00:12:12,643 --> 00:12:14,963 It's no wonder you gossip. 245 00:12:15,003 --> 00:12:16,963 I can hear you talking about me. 246 00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:19,403 Everybody says I'm a dyke. 247 00:12:20,603 --> 00:12:22,603 I often think it's not fair. 248 00:12:22,643 --> 00:12:25,403 Patty, when a woman hasn't got a man, 249 00:12:25,443 --> 00:12:28,963 they say that she's failed, she's lacking, she's odd. 250 00:12:29,003 --> 00:12:30,923 Which means she's a lesbian. 251 00:12:30,963 --> 00:12:33,843 You must find that very offensive. 252 00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:36,443 I've never really thought about it. But the point still stands. 253 00:12:36,483 --> 00:12:39,203 When you are a woman with no husband, 254 00:12:39,243 --> 00:12:41,363 no partner, no children, 255 00:12:41,403 --> 00:12:44,163 society doesn't know who you are. 256 00:12:44,203 --> 00:12:46,323 There's no place for us. 257 00:12:46,363 --> 00:12:50,363 This silent army of women with no name. 258 00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,803 Actually, that is offensive. Thank you. 259 00:12:52,843 --> 00:12:54,723 You're right. Thank you. 260 00:12:54,763 --> 00:12:57,083 Bastards. Exactly. 261 00:12:58,203 --> 00:13:00,723 But I did have someone. 262 00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:03,803 I gave him 20 years of my life. 263 00:13:05,883 --> 00:13:07,283 Val... 264 00:13:07,323 --> 00:13:08,683 Parnell. 265 00:13:08,723 --> 00:13:10,003 Oh, really? 266 00:13:10,043 --> 00:13:12,563 Is that a man? Val? Short for Valentine. 267 00:13:12,603 --> 00:13:14,123 Huge impresario. 268 00:13:14,163 --> 00:13:17,323 Big, blond giant. He worked with everybody, 269 00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:19,083 Judy Garland. Bob Hope. 270 00:13:19,123 --> 00:13:21,083 He signed up Julie Andrews when she was 12. 271 00:13:21,123 --> 00:13:23,123 And he was married. 272 00:13:23,163 --> 00:13:26,003 Which means you've all got an opinion. 273 00:13:26,043 --> 00:13:28,043 No, it happens, darling. 274 00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:30,403 Actually, my father had an affair for 12 years 275 00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:32,243 and it destroyed my mother. I know. 276 00:13:32,283 --> 00:13:34,443 It completely destroyed her. So... 277 00:13:34,483 --> 00:13:36,723 I understand. Good. 278 00:13:36,763 --> 00:13:38,683 Val Parnell set up ATV, didn't he? Yes. 279 00:13:38,723 --> 00:13:41,123 So he set up Crossroads for you? No. 280 00:13:41,163 --> 00:13:43,083 It wasn't like that. 281 00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:46,083 Nolly, he bought you. ROGER: All right, Becky. 282 00:13:46,123 --> 00:13:48,923 He told his wife. And then he came to me and he said, 283 00:13:48,963 --> 00:13:51,643 "Helen knows all about you." 284 00:13:51,683 --> 00:13:54,883 And he said, "I need you both. 285 00:13:56,123 --> 00:13:59,123 "I want you to be friends." 286 00:13:59,163 --> 00:14:01,083 And she accepted that? Yes, she did. 287 00:14:01,123 --> 00:14:03,803 Was she mad? No, she loved him. 288 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,643 And I loved him. 289 00:14:05,683 --> 00:14:08,723 That's the bit you have to understand. 290 00:14:08,763 --> 00:14:13,083 I absolutely loved him with all of my heart. 291 00:14:13,123 --> 00:14:16,723 So, we had dinner, the three of us. 292 00:14:16,763 --> 00:14:19,483 And she took me to one side, and she said, 293 00:14:19,523 --> 00:14:22,523 "He is a wonderful man, 294 00:14:22,563 --> 00:14:27,203 "and I'm prepared to accept you as his mistress... 295 00:14:28,603 --> 00:14:32,923 "..if you are prepared to accept me as his wife." 296 00:14:34,723 --> 00:14:36,403 And I said... 297 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:37,723 "I will." 298 00:14:39,803 --> 00:14:42,003 And then, from then on, we shared him. 299 00:14:42,043 --> 00:14:44,083 That's how we lived for years. 300 00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:47,323 He bought an apartment in the South of France 301 00:14:47,363 --> 00:14:49,163 overlooking the Mediterranean. 302 00:14:49,203 --> 00:14:51,043 It was all white and gold. 303 00:14:52,083 --> 00:14:53,283 And he flew us out. 304 00:14:53,323 --> 00:14:56,243 And we sat there one night, having dinner. 305 00:14:56,283 --> 00:14:58,763 Me, Val and Helen. 306 00:14:58,803 --> 00:15:01,563 And he looked at Helen and he looked at me... 307 00:15:02,923 --> 00:15:07,483 ..and he raised his champagne in a toast and he said, 308 00:15:07,523 --> 00:15:12,123 "I've always wanted this, you two, sitting either side of me. 309 00:15:12,163 --> 00:15:14,043 "And I want you to know... 310 00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:18,963 "..that you are the two great loves of my life." 311 00:15:21,483 --> 00:15:24,643 And then, the next day, he flew home 312 00:15:24,683 --> 00:15:28,003 and ran off with a third woman called Aileen. 313 00:15:29,003 --> 00:15:31,643 CAST AND CREW GASP I never saw him again. 314 00:15:31,683 --> 00:15:33,083 Oh, my God! 315 00:15:33,123 --> 00:15:34,763 He died in 1972. 316 00:15:35,763 --> 00:15:39,323 That greedy old heart stopped beating. 317 00:15:39,363 --> 00:15:40,963 Bloody hell... 318 00:15:42,763 --> 00:15:45,363 And I can see you, girls, all thinking, 319 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,283 "Oh, I'd never let a man do that to me." 320 00:15:47,323 --> 00:15:48,763 Well, I wouldn't. 321 00:15:48,803 --> 00:15:50,283 It's a different world now. No. 322 00:15:50,323 --> 00:15:51,923 They're clever. 323 00:15:51,963 --> 00:15:53,683 They're cleverer than you'll ever know. 324 00:15:53,723 --> 00:15:57,723 And they play games on levels you can't even see. 325 00:15:57,763 --> 00:15:59,843 You don't believe me now 326 00:15:59,883 --> 00:16:01,723 because you're young, 327 00:16:01,763 --> 00:16:03,723 and you're tough, and you're brilliant. 328 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:06,003 But I promise you, 329 00:16:06,043 --> 00:16:10,323 you will turn round at 40, or 60, or 80... 330 00:16:11,483 --> 00:16:13,963 ..and you'll say, "Oh, my God. 331 00:16:14,003 --> 00:16:15,563 "He got me. 332 00:16:15,603 --> 00:16:17,003 "He got me." 333 00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:18,603 I thought all of this was me. 334 00:16:18,643 --> 00:16:20,683 Turns out, it was him. 335 00:16:20,723 --> 00:16:23,363 All the things that I could've become 336 00:16:23,403 --> 00:16:25,123 were taken by him. 337 00:16:26,163 --> 00:16:27,483 All my life... 338 00:16:28,563 --> 00:16:30,123 ..was him. 339 00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:33,203 And you ask me why I was sacked. 340 00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:36,363 Every single day, 341 00:16:36,403 --> 00:16:42,043 every single person asks me why I was sacked. 342 00:16:43,243 --> 00:16:45,683 And that is the reason. 343 00:16:47,043 --> 00:16:48,803 They know. 344 00:16:50,003 --> 00:16:51,363 The herd. 345 00:16:51,403 --> 00:16:53,163 The pack. The instinct. 346 00:16:53,203 --> 00:16:55,163 They can smell a victim. 347 00:16:55,203 --> 00:16:57,763 I was sacked because I was sackable. 348 00:16:59,563 --> 00:17:02,323 Those men just did what they always do, 349 00:17:02,363 --> 00:17:05,083 they singled me out, they bared their teeth, 350 00:17:05,123 --> 00:17:06,803 and they brought me down. 351 00:17:06,843 --> 00:17:10,603 And then they raised a glass of champagne 352 00:17:10,643 --> 00:17:12,763 and moved on to the next! 353 00:17:13,843 --> 00:17:18,163 And, yes, I will sing your song downstage. 354 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:21,123 Cos that is going to get us to the West End. 355 00:17:21,163 --> 00:17:25,523 I will sing your bloody song downstage, 356 00:17:25,563 --> 00:17:27,443 right here, 357 00:17:27,483 --> 00:17:30,443 in front of one thousand people! 358 00:17:31,443 --> 00:17:35,243 # Everything's coming up Rose 359 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:40,123 # Everything's coming up roses 360 00:17:42,043 --> 00:17:44,763 # Everything's coming up roses 361 00:17:44,803 --> 00:17:47,283 # This time for me! 362 00:17:50,963 --> 00:17:52,123 # For me! 363 00:17:54,883 --> 00:17:56,283 # For me! 364 00:17:57,443 --> 00:17:59,723 # For me! For me! 365 00:18:00,723 --> 00:18:01,803 # For me! 366 00:18:04,723 --> 00:18:06,323 # For 367 00:18:06,363 --> 00:18:10,963 # Me! # 368 00:18:12,923 --> 00:18:15,883 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 369 00:18:24,563 --> 00:18:26,883 MICHAEL: I'm afraid it's not happening. 370 00:18:26,923 --> 00:18:28,283 The West End. 371 00:18:29,363 --> 00:18:32,643 I'm sorry, darling. You were absolutely sensational. 372 00:18:34,923 --> 00:18:37,083 OK. We tried. 373 00:18:37,123 --> 00:18:38,883 But we can't. 374 00:18:44,043 --> 00:18:45,763 OK. 375 00:18:45,803 --> 00:18:47,523 TONY: Nolly? 376 00:18:48,923 --> 00:18:51,723 Ah, I've got to rush, Nolly. Thanks for the drinks. 377 00:18:53,483 --> 00:18:55,203 That's a godawful white wine. 378 00:18:55,243 --> 00:18:56,883 The last train's at 11:00. 379 00:18:56,923 --> 00:18:59,363 You were absolutely mesmerising, darling. 380 00:18:59,403 --> 00:19:00,923 A star is born. 381 00:19:00,963 --> 00:19:03,243 Well, she was born an awfully long time ago. 382 00:19:03,283 --> 00:19:05,803 But, thank you. Now, run. I'll come and see it again. 383 00:19:05,843 --> 00:19:09,563 I'll come see it in London! Bye-bye! 384 00:19:11,523 --> 00:19:14,963 It's not you. It's contractual. What does that mean? 385 00:19:15,003 --> 00:19:17,283 They are reviving Gypsy on Broadway, 386 00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,763 which means, legally, there can't be another production. 387 00:19:19,803 --> 00:19:21,803 We're three thousand miles away! 388 00:19:21,843 --> 00:19:25,563 I know, I've asked, we've checked, there's nothing we can do. 389 00:19:25,603 --> 00:19:27,683 And I swear, it is not your performance. 390 00:19:27,723 --> 00:19:29,363 You were absolutely splendid. 391 00:19:29,403 --> 00:19:31,803 You had that round of applause when you first walked in. 392 00:19:31,843 --> 00:19:34,443 Oh, don't be so stupid, that was easy. 393 00:19:34,483 --> 00:19:36,363 You start the clapping. 394 00:19:36,403 --> 00:19:38,843 Clap like hell and do not stop. 395 00:19:38,883 --> 00:19:40,923 All right, go. 396 00:19:40,963 --> 00:19:44,123 INDISTINCT DIALOGUE ON STAGE 397 00:19:49,363 --> 00:19:50,843 Sing out, Louise! 398 00:19:50,883 --> 00:19:52,603 Sing out! 399 00:19:54,243 --> 00:19:56,683 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 400 00:20:08,243 --> 00:20:10,723 You're behind, honey. You're behind. Catch up. 401 00:20:10,763 --> 00:20:13,643 I have done one hundred thousand shows. 402 00:20:13,683 --> 00:20:15,443 If I want applause, I'll get it. 403 00:20:15,483 --> 00:20:20,363 But that is the limit of my talent, it seems. 404 00:20:20,403 --> 00:20:22,443 POPPY: Oh, my God, Nolly! 405 00:20:22,483 --> 00:20:24,643 You were absolutely amazing! 406 00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:27,163 Oh, I can't believe I even know you! 407 00:20:27,203 --> 00:20:29,323 I was crying my eyes out at the end. 408 00:20:29,363 --> 00:20:31,523 I know Poppy. I've known her for years. 409 00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:33,643 We were at Mountview. Oh, that's lovely. 410 00:20:33,683 --> 00:20:37,363 Well, there's drinks for everyone in the green room. 411 00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:41,123 This is Michael, my agent. I've decided to charge it all to him. 412 00:20:41,163 --> 00:20:42,723 So, erm, dive in! 413 00:20:42,763 --> 00:20:45,003 Oh, let's get pissed! Thank you, Michael! 414 00:20:45,043 --> 00:20:46,443 See you in there! 415 00:20:49,443 --> 00:20:51,883 There is a chance. Derek Nimmo. 416 00:20:51,923 --> 00:20:54,443 He runs those tours abroad. The Far East. 417 00:20:54,483 --> 00:20:57,523 Hm. Am I so bad I have to leave the country? 418 00:20:57,563 --> 00:20:59,363 Come now, it's good work. 419 00:20:59,403 --> 00:21:02,203 He said, if Gypsy isn't picked up, he'd take the whole company, 420 00:21:02,243 --> 00:21:03,763 Fiona and everybody. 421 00:21:03,803 --> 00:21:05,843 And you've been a good team, haven't you? 422 00:21:08,843 --> 00:21:10,643 What's the show? The Boy Friend. 423 00:21:10,683 --> 00:21:14,723 It's going to Bahrain, Kuala Lumpur, Abu Dhabi. 424 00:21:14,763 --> 00:21:17,163 Well, what are the theatres like? Are they any good? 425 00:21:17,203 --> 00:21:18,763 Well, it's dinner theatre. 426 00:21:20,283 --> 00:21:21,843 OK. 427 00:21:21,883 --> 00:21:23,923 You think about it. No, I'll do it. 428 00:21:23,963 --> 00:21:26,283 God knows, everyone staring at me. 429 00:21:27,563 --> 00:21:30,643 Maybe I need to go somewhere where I can't be seen. 430 00:21:31,763 --> 00:21:33,923 I have to go. But, look... 431 00:21:33,963 --> 00:21:36,043 I will telephone you on Sunday afternoon 432 00:21:36,083 --> 00:21:37,403 and we can talk about it. 433 00:21:37,443 --> 00:21:39,683 And really, you were magnificent. 434 00:21:40,683 --> 00:21:42,203 Merry Christmas, darling. 435 00:21:43,203 --> 00:21:44,883 Merry Christmas. 436 00:21:46,043 --> 00:21:48,683 Oh! And, therefore, happy birthday! 437 00:23:09,603 --> 00:23:12,043 TONY: 'I used those cheques for gas and electricity. 438 00:23:12,083 --> 00:23:14,163 'And there's quite a few charity requests.' 439 00:23:14,203 --> 00:23:16,283 But nothing urgent. Although... 440 00:23:16,323 --> 00:23:18,563 the RNLI would like to know about July 31st. 441 00:23:18,603 --> 00:23:20,083 NOLLY: 'Oh, say, yes.' 442 00:23:20,123 --> 00:23:22,403 I always say yes to them. I'll be back July 10th. 443 00:23:22,443 --> 00:23:25,163 'So, how is it? What's the hotel like?' 444 00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:26,963 Oh, it's nice enough. 445 00:23:27,003 --> 00:23:30,163 Well, there's not much choice, there's only one hotel in Abu Dhabi. 446 00:23:30,203 --> 00:23:31,723 'But still... 447 00:23:31,763 --> 00:23:34,923 'everyone's pleased to see us, we're like visiting dignitaries.' 448 00:23:34,963 --> 00:23:36,563 Where do you go next? 449 00:23:36,603 --> 00:23:38,123 Bangkok. 450 00:23:38,163 --> 00:23:39,723 Fiona says it's wonderful. 451 00:23:39,763 --> 00:23:41,963 She keeps saying she's going to take me to a strip club. 452 00:23:42,003 --> 00:23:44,843 I think they imagine that I'm shockable. 453 00:23:44,883 --> 00:23:47,163 Lord, what fools these mortals be. 454 00:23:51,643 --> 00:23:54,443 ROWDY LAUGHTER AND CHATTER 455 00:23:54,483 --> 00:23:57,563 You can fly a plane? Oh, I'm fully qualified. 456 00:23:57,603 --> 00:23:59,283 I learnt for television. 457 00:23:59,323 --> 00:24:01,723 If we're flying back and we get into trouble 458 00:24:01,763 --> 00:24:04,323 and someone says, "Is there anyone who can fly the plane?" 459 00:24:04,363 --> 00:24:05,963 look for Nolly. 460 00:24:08,043 --> 00:24:10,043 Is that a hard-boiled egg? 461 00:24:10,083 --> 00:24:12,603 SQUELCHING Oh, not hard-boiled. 462 00:24:12,643 --> 00:24:15,963 No. I've been a director, a producer, an executive. 463 00:24:16,003 --> 00:24:17,683 I've had my own chat show. 464 00:24:17,723 --> 00:24:19,483 I have done it all. 465 00:24:19,523 --> 00:24:21,403 HE SHOUTS IN THAI 466 00:24:21,443 --> 00:24:25,163 And now, it appears, I've been in a police raid. 467 00:24:32,163 --> 00:24:35,843 Well, they said about my career, I couldn't get arrested. 468 00:24:35,883 --> 00:24:38,203 But look at me now, Mother! 469 00:24:40,043 --> 00:24:42,443 NOLLY LAUGHS 470 00:24:44,243 --> 00:24:47,123 THEY ALL LAUGH 471 00:24:50,083 --> 00:24:52,523 MAN: Miss Gordon, Miss Fullerton, come with me. 472 00:24:59,043 --> 00:25:01,523 There you are. I am sorry it took so long. 473 00:25:01,563 --> 00:25:04,323 I'm from the Consulate. My name's Hansa. 474 00:25:04,363 --> 00:25:07,603 I've got a car outside, and I can get you back to the hotel. 475 00:25:07,643 --> 00:25:10,163 But I just need you to sign a couple of forms first. 476 00:25:10,203 --> 00:25:12,563 Miss Fullerton, you needed to use the phone? 477 00:25:12,603 --> 00:25:15,723 If I could. I'd better tell them I'm still alive. 478 00:25:15,763 --> 00:25:18,003 HANSA SPEAKS IN THAI 479 00:25:19,003 --> 00:25:21,043 If I could just get you to sign on the line, 480 00:25:21,083 --> 00:25:23,363 on all five pages, thank you. 481 00:25:23,403 --> 00:25:25,843 Sorry. It's basically a promise not to sue the authorities. 482 00:25:25,883 --> 00:25:27,843 Mm... I must say, 483 00:25:27,883 --> 00:25:29,603 it's nice to say hello. 484 00:25:30,643 --> 00:25:33,843 I feel like I already know you, even though we've never met. 485 00:25:33,883 --> 00:25:36,803 I used to work at Cumberland Place for ATV. 486 00:25:36,843 --> 00:25:38,203 Huh! 487 00:25:38,243 --> 00:25:41,003 That's funny. I left a couple of years ago. 488 00:25:41,043 --> 00:25:44,483 My mother's not very well, and this job came up, so... 489 00:25:44,523 --> 00:25:46,203 time to come home. Mm. 490 00:25:46,243 --> 00:25:49,603 Now I have to deal with drug trafficking and military violence. 491 00:25:49,643 --> 00:25:52,323 It's a lot easier than television. Oh, I bet! 492 00:25:52,363 --> 00:25:54,083 But I've got to say... 493 00:25:54,123 --> 00:25:56,843 I thought what they did to you was terrible. 494 00:25:56,883 --> 00:25:59,523 Oh, that's very kind. But it's all in the past, darling. 495 00:26:00,803 --> 00:26:02,883 Everyone keeps asking me why I was sacked. 496 00:26:03,883 --> 00:26:05,803 And I worked it out long ago. 497 00:26:06,923 --> 00:26:08,243 It was men. 498 00:26:08,283 --> 00:26:09,963 Just men being men. 499 00:26:11,443 --> 00:26:13,123 Well, yes. 500 00:26:13,163 --> 00:26:14,803 But that man in particular. 501 00:26:16,403 --> 00:26:19,563 What man? What did they tell you? 502 00:26:19,603 --> 00:26:21,683 Well, they didn't. But I want to know, what man? 503 00:26:21,723 --> 00:26:23,963 What did he say? I'm sorry. 504 00:26:24,003 --> 00:26:26,763 It's none of my business. Except, I was there. 505 00:26:26,803 --> 00:26:28,363 I heard every word. 506 00:26:29,363 --> 00:26:33,123 I'm sorry, Miss Gordon, but I know exactly why you were sacked. 507 00:26:52,163 --> 00:26:54,723 Good to see you. You look wonderful. 508 00:26:54,763 --> 00:26:56,163 Thank you. 509 00:27:02,803 --> 00:27:04,203 Excuse me. 510 00:27:07,563 --> 00:27:09,403 Hello, yes. Erm... 511 00:27:09,443 --> 00:27:12,163 Coffee for me with milk, thank you. 512 00:27:12,203 --> 00:27:14,443 Nolly? Nothing. 513 00:27:14,483 --> 00:27:16,563 Are you sure? Absolutely. 514 00:27:18,683 --> 00:27:20,923 Is that just the one coffee, then? 515 00:27:20,963 --> 00:27:22,843 Yes, thank you. OK. 516 00:27:24,083 --> 00:27:26,283 Sorry, but I'm a very big fan. 517 00:27:27,363 --> 00:27:30,003 Thank you. I hope you don't mind me asking, 518 00:27:30,043 --> 00:27:32,123 but why did they get rid of you? 519 00:27:32,163 --> 00:27:33,243 Hm. 520 00:27:34,563 --> 00:27:35,923 Ask him. 521 00:27:37,683 --> 00:27:39,043 OK. 522 00:27:39,083 --> 00:27:41,323 One coffee. JACK COUGHS AWKWARDLY 523 00:27:42,803 --> 00:27:44,323 So... 524 00:27:44,363 --> 00:27:46,883 why did you want to see me? Oh, a few things. 525 00:27:46,923 --> 00:27:48,563 Nice to catch up. 526 00:27:48,603 --> 00:27:51,403 And there's that charity night thing for Birmingham City Council... 527 00:27:51,443 --> 00:27:53,683 The funny thing is I wanted to see you. 528 00:27:53,723 --> 00:27:56,883 In fact, I think it's very important that we talk because... 529 00:27:56,923 --> 00:27:58,603 I found out something. 530 00:27:58,643 --> 00:28:01,163 By chance. Someone told me. 531 00:28:01,203 --> 00:28:03,923 The reason for my sacking. 532 00:28:03,963 --> 00:28:06,243 In fact, I wrote it down. 533 00:28:08,803 --> 00:28:12,763 I was given this piece of paper by a policeman in Bangkok. 534 00:28:12,803 --> 00:28:14,603 It's far too long a story. 535 00:28:15,603 --> 00:28:16,883 I was sacked... 536 00:28:18,123 --> 00:28:20,843 ..because I'm "a bully". 537 00:28:20,883 --> 00:28:23,203 Because I'm "a prima donna". 538 00:28:23,243 --> 00:28:25,923 Because I'm "delusional". 539 00:28:25,963 --> 00:28:28,443 I make people "go through hell". 540 00:28:28,483 --> 00:28:30,483 I'm "a fly in the ointment". 541 00:28:30,523 --> 00:28:35,603 It appears I was sacked because I am "a difficult asset". 542 00:28:35,643 --> 00:28:37,003 Who said so? 543 00:28:37,043 --> 00:28:39,003 Charles Denton, that's who. 544 00:28:39,043 --> 00:28:41,363 Your boss. The man in charge. 545 00:28:41,403 --> 00:28:43,523 Well, if he did, if he was actually... 546 00:28:43,563 --> 00:28:45,843 Oh, I'm sorry, am I being "a difficult asset"? 547 00:28:45,883 --> 00:28:49,243 "Noele Gordon is a difficult asset," those were his exact words. 548 00:28:49,283 --> 00:28:51,163 Well, he might have said... 549 00:28:52,723 --> 00:28:55,203 There were problems with the show. But... 550 00:28:55,243 --> 00:28:57,803 how did he know anything about me? 551 00:28:57,843 --> 00:28:59,843 I mean, he was never in studio. 552 00:28:59,883 --> 00:29:01,883 He would never see rehearsals. 553 00:29:01,923 --> 00:29:04,603 I don't imagine he's watched a single episode of Crossroads 554 00:29:04,643 --> 00:29:06,403 in his entire life. 555 00:29:06,443 --> 00:29:09,283 So where did his information come from, Jack? 556 00:29:10,843 --> 00:29:12,963 Who told him this... 557 00:29:14,003 --> 00:29:15,843 ..version of me? 558 00:29:19,043 --> 00:29:20,803 I never said those exact things. 559 00:29:20,843 --> 00:29:22,523 A bully? I didn't say that. 560 00:29:22,563 --> 00:29:24,323 Delusional? I didn't say that. 561 00:29:24,363 --> 00:29:26,883 Prima donna? I did not say that. 562 00:29:26,923 --> 00:29:29,803 Difficult asset? Oh, by Christ, you are difficult! 563 00:29:29,843 --> 00:29:31,883 Of course you are. Who are we kidding? 564 00:29:33,283 --> 00:29:38,203 Every day, every scene, every decision, you're a nightmare! 565 00:29:38,243 --> 00:29:41,123 And don't sit there and pretend you didn't know. 566 00:29:42,323 --> 00:29:45,603 You're very hard work. Then tell me this. 567 00:29:45,643 --> 00:29:47,923 If I was such a monster, 568 00:29:47,963 --> 00:29:50,283 then why the hell didn't you tell me? 569 00:29:50,323 --> 00:29:53,283 A lunch. For God's sake, Jack, a dinner. 570 00:29:53,323 --> 00:29:55,443 A meeting with my agent. 571 00:29:55,483 --> 00:29:56,843 Consult me. 572 00:29:56,883 --> 00:29:59,683 Confront me. Tell me what is going wrong. 573 00:29:59,723 --> 00:30:01,883 But, no, what do you do? You sack me. 574 00:30:01,923 --> 00:30:03,323 Without a word. 575 00:30:03,363 --> 00:30:05,403 You axe me. 576 00:30:05,443 --> 00:30:07,243 In public. 577 00:30:07,283 --> 00:30:09,403 Now, look me in the eye 578 00:30:09,443 --> 00:30:13,123 and tell me that is the right thing to do. 579 00:30:13,163 --> 00:30:14,723 Is it? 580 00:30:15,763 --> 00:30:17,643 No. 581 00:30:17,683 --> 00:30:20,363 Do you think it's fair? No. 582 00:30:20,403 --> 00:30:22,443 Do you think it's professional? 583 00:30:22,483 --> 00:30:24,643 No. 584 00:30:24,683 --> 00:30:27,123 Would you have done that to a man? 585 00:30:27,163 --> 00:30:29,243 And let me tell you the answer to that, 586 00:30:29,283 --> 00:30:31,483 the answer to that is no! 587 00:30:35,803 --> 00:30:37,563 I just don't understand... 588 00:30:39,003 --> 00:30:41,283 ..why you were so... 589 00:30:44,203 --> 00:30:45,643 ..unkind. 590 00:30:50,963 --> 00:30:52,443 I'm sorry. 591 00:30:54,283 --> 00:30:56,763 Were you so scared of me? No. 592 00:31:00,363 --> 00:31:02,043 All right. 593 00:31:02,083 --> 00:31:04,363 I would complain to Charles. 594 00:31:04,403 --> 00:31:06,483 That's how it works, it goes upwards. 595 00:31:06,523 --> 00:31:08,363 You complain to me, I complain to him. 596 00:31:08,403 --> 00:31:10,363 But I never thought he'd listen. 597 00:31:11,803 --> 00:31:13,723 That's where it all went wrong. 598 00:31:15,163 --> 00:31:18,843 I was used to old-school ATV, where they would puff on cigars 599 00:31:18,883 --> 00:31:20,843 and pass the port and do sod all. 600 00:31:20,883 --> 00:31:23,443 And then, suddenly, I had this brand-new boss 601 00:31:23,483 --> 00:31:25,963 who takes me at my word and does something about it. 602 00:31:26,003 --> 00:31:28,763 I mean, a boss actually doing something? 603 00:31:28,803 --> 00:31:30,243 My God! 604 00:31:31,603 --> 00:31:33,803 And I couldn't backtrack. 605 00:31:33,843 --> 00:31:35,763 I'd said what I said, so... 606 00:31:38,203 --> 00:31:39,643 ..here we are. 607 00:31:44,363 --> 00:31:46,003 So it was an accident? 608 00:31:47,403 --> 00:31:49,163 In a way, yes. 609 00:31:49,203 --> 00:31:51,763 My life was destroyed... 610 00:31:53,683 --> 00:31:55,323 ..by accident. 611 00:32:01,843 --> 00:32:03,123 Oh... 612 00:32:11,563 --> 00:32:13,483 It never really worked, Crossroads. 613 00:32:13,523 --> 00:32:15,243 What, says the producer? 614 00:32:15,283 --> 00:32:17,483 Coronation Street, it's about the working class. 615 00:32:18,763 --> 00:32:20,243 Emmerdale Farm, is about... 616 00:32:21,243 --> 00:32:22,363 ..a farm. 617 00:32:22,403 --> 00:32:24,043 But Crossroads... 618 00:32:24,083 --> 00:32:25,723 it's about a motel. 619 00:32:25,763 --> 00:32:27,483 We don't have motels. 620 00:32:27,523 --> 00:32:30,243 People don't know what a motel is. They think it's a typo. 621 00:32:30,283 --> 00:32:32,923 The whole thing is based on a mistake. 622 00:32:32,963 --> 00:32:34,763 But we couldn't stop. 623 00:32:34,803 --> 00:32:38,043 The one thing that machine can never do is stop. 624 00:32:38,083 --> 00:32:39,763 So on we went. 625 00:32:39,803 --> 00:32:42,323 Episode after episode after episode. 626 00:32:43,723 --> 00:32:45,763 God alive, no wonder we fight. 627 00:32:48,923 --> 00:32:51,003 And I suggest the fight goes on. 628 00:32:53,563 --> 00:32:55,443 Come back, Nolly. 629 00:32:58,683 --> 00:33:00,483 Ha! No, I mean it. 630 00:33:00,523 --> 00:33:02,283 That's why I wanted to see you today. 631 00:33:02,323 --> 00:33:05,363 I miss you. I want you to come back. 632 00:33:05,403 --> 00:33:07,923 Let me make this perfectly clear. 633 00:33:09,363 --> 00:33:13,763 I will never, ever work with you again. 634 00:33:13,803 --> 00:33:15,403 I thought, "Venice." 635 00:33:15,443 --> 00:33:17,643 Meg in Venice. 636 00:33:17,683 --> 00:33:20,243 Adam and Jill get married, they go on honeymoon to Venice. 637 00:33:20,283 --> 00:33:22,603 And I thought, "What could be better 638 00:33:22,643 --> 00:33:25,083 "if Adam arranged a little surprise?" 639 00:33:26,323 --> 00:33:28,763 They walk into a restaurant in Venice... 640 00:33:28,803 --> 00:33:30,843 and there is her mother. 641 00:33:30,883 --> 00:33:32,243 Meg. 642 00:33:32,283 --> 00:33:34,483 In all her glory. 643 00:33:34,523 --> 00:33:36,043 In Venice. 644 00:33:38,883 --> 00:33:40,563 Real Venice? 645 00:33:42,083 --> 00:33:44,003 Or Venice in studio? 646 00:33:44,043 --> 00:33:46,083 Real Venice. 647 00:34:02,923 --> 00:34:06,603 MUSIC: 'Funiculi funicula' by Luigi Denza 648 00:34:21,803 --> 00:34:26,003 # Aissera, Nannine Me ne sagliette tu saie addo? 649 00:34:26,043 --> 00:34:27,963 # Tu saie addo? 650 00:34:28,003 --> 00:34:30,243 # Addo 651 00:34:30,283 --> 00:34:36,563 # 'Stu core 'ngrato cchiu dispietto Farme nun po! 652 00:34:36,603 --> 00:34:38,963 # Farme nun po! 653 00:34:39,003 --> 00:34:45,043 # Addo lo fuoco coce Ma si fuie te lassa sta! 654 00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:46,723 # Te lassa sta! 655 00:34:47,843 --> 00:34:53,963 # E nun te corre appriesso Nun te struie sulo a guarda 656 00:34:54,003 --> 00:34:55,803 # Sulo a guarda 657 00:34:55,843 --> 00:34:57,963 # Jamme, jamme 'ncoppa! 658 00:34:58,003 --> 00:35:00,083 # Jamme ja funiculi, funicula! 659 00:35:00,123 --> 00:35:02,923 # Jamme, jamme 'ncoppa Jamme ja... # 660 00:35:02,963 --> 00:35:05,243 SHE CRIES OUT IN PAIN 661 00:35:30,203 --> 00:35:32,403 DIALOGUE IS MUTED 662 00:35:40,883 --> 00:35:42,123 TONY LAUGHS 663 00:35:42,163 --> 00:35:44,323 It's all rather splendid. Thanks to you. 664 00:35:44,363 --> 00:35:47,283 I normally travel in steerage, sitting on a box of chickens. 665 00:35:47,323 --> 00:35:49,043 This is nothing new, darling. 666 00:35:49,083 --> 00:35:51,643 In 1967, Crossroads went to Tunisia. 667 00:35:51,683 --> 00:35:55,843 The motel was blown up by a newly-discovered World War II bomb. 668 00:35:55,883 --> 00:35:58,363 So, while we were being rebuilt, we all went to Tunisia. 669 00:35:58,403 --> 00:35:59,643 As one does. 670 00:35:59,683 --> 00:36:01,763 This programme can be a little bit mad at times. 671 00:36:01,803 --> 00:36:03,603 Oh, it's bloody nuts! 672 00:36:03,643 --> 00:36:05,203 TONY LAUGHS 673 00:36:24,083 --> 00:36:25,923 Good morning, Nolly. Morning, Jim. 674 00:36:25,963 --> 00:36:28,283 Hello, Sanjay. Hello, Miss Gordon. 675 00:36:28,323 --> 00:36:29,883 Good morning, Michael. 676 00:36:29,923 --> 00:36:32,003 And how's the family? They're great, Nolly... 677 00:36:32,043 --> 00:36:33,723 How's Emily? Give her my love. Will do. 678 00:36:33,763 --> 00:36:35,643 Hello, Tim. 679 00:36:37,163 --> 00:36:38,843 JACK: Good morning, Miss Gordon! 680 00:36:38,883 --> 00:36:41,043 So, everyone! 681 00:36:41,083 --> 00:36:42,483 Scene 15. 682 00:36:42,523 --> 00:36:45,323 I think Adam and Jill arrive in the doorway, and they stand there. 683 00:36:45,363 --> 00:36:47,523 Adam says he's booked a special table. 684 00:36:47,563 --> 00:36:50,363 But, damn it, there's somebody sitting there! 685 00:36:50,403 --> 00:36:52,003 And that's you, Nolly. 686 00:36:52,043 --> 00:36:54,363 You're over here. 687 00:36:54,403 --> 00:36:58,643 You'll be in this chair, if that works for you. 688 00:36:58,683 --> 00:37:00,723 Mm-hm. Thanks. 689 00:37:00,763 --> 00:37:02,323 With your back to the camera. 690 00:37:02,363 --> 00:37:06,123 Oh, nice angle, Bob, with the fountain in foreground. 691 00:37:06,163 --> 00:37:09,323 So, Adam says, "I'll have a word with whoever she is." 692 00:37:09,363 --> 00:37:10,803 He crosses the floor. 693 00:37:10,843 --> 00:37:12,283 OK, Tony? OK, yeah. 694 00:37:12,323 --> 00:37:14,203 And I stay by the fountain? Yes, that's right. 695 00:37:14,243 --> 00:37:16,083 You stay over there, just watching. 696 00:37:16,123 --> 00:37:18,483 So, Tony, come to the table. You talk to the woman. 697 00:37:18,523 --> 00:37:20,283 You stand here. OK. 698 00:37:20,323 --> 00:37:22,923 There's no actual dialogue? No, no, it's silent. 699 00:37:22,963 --> 00:37:25,603 Because we're seeing it from Jill's point of view. 700 00:37:25,643 --> 00:37:27,643 We don't need to cover this, Jim. 701 00:37:27,683 --> 00:37:30,403 Just say, "Excuse me," or something. 702 00:37:30,443 --> 00:37:32,043 Because Adam's pretending. 703 00:37:32,083 --> 00:37:35,243 Say, er, "Excuse me, the table is booked for that lady over there." 704 00:37:35,283 --> 00:37:36,963 And you can indicate Jane. 705 00:37:37,003 --> 00:37:39,643 And then, Nolly, you turn. 706 00:37:40,963 --> 00:37:42,883 You simply turn around. 707 00:37:42,923 --> 00:37:45,763 And that's it, the return of Meg Mortimer. 708 00:37:45,803 --> 00:37:47,723 You turn around, you look at your daughter... 709 00:37:48,843 --> 00:37:50,883 ..and the entire nation... 710 00:37:50,923 --> 00:37:52,243 gasps. 711 00:37:54,763 --> 00:37:56,203 So... 712 00:37:56,243 --> 00:37:59,083 Tony says, "That lady over there?" 713 00:37:59,123 --> 00:38:01,763 Or you can do it with a gesture. I can do it with a gesture. 714 00:38:03,003 --> 00:38:05,363 Is that OK? What do you think, Nolly? 715 00:38:05,403 --> 00:38:07,483 Does that work for you? Is that all right? 716 00:38:07,523 --> 00:38:09,883 We can move it. We, could, er... 717 00:38:09,923 --> 00:38:11,483 We could choose a different table. 718 00:38:11,523 --> 00:38:13,603 Or we could shoot from another angle, but... 719 00:38:15,163 --> 00:38:16,763 What do you think? 720 00:38:24,683 --> 00:38:26,163 I think... 721 00:38:27,203 --> 00:38:28,643 ..it's fine. 722 00:38:28,683 --> 00:38:30,403 Right. 723 00:38:30,443 --> 00:38:31,923 Good. 724 00:38:33,043 --> 00:38:34,923 OK, if we can set that up, please! 725 00:38:39,163 --> 00:38:41,763 Now, if you're feeling tired... No, don't fuss. 726 00:38:41,803 --> 00:38:43,923 No, if you're feeling tired, just say. 727 00:38:43,963 --> 00:38:46,803 No-one's going to suspect anything. They'll just think it's the heat. 728 00:38:46,843 --> 00:38:48,683 You worry too much. 729 00:38:48,723 --> 00:38:50,043 Always. 730 00:38:52,683 --> 00:38:55,083 It's a very happy shoot, though, isn't it? 731 00:38:56,763 --> 00:38:58,203 All that silly nonsense. 732 00:38:58,243 --> 00:39:00,483 Will we ever know why you were sacked? 733 00:39:00,523 --> 00:39:02,643 Oh, I know why. 734 00:39:02,683 --> 00:39:04,203 Really? Mm. 735 00:39:04,243 --> 00:39:06,483 I can tell you the reason. Which is...? 736 00:39:07,483 --> 00:39:09,283 It was a story. 737 00:39:09,323 --> 00:39:11,003 That's all. 738 00:39:11,043 --> 00:39:13,243 I was just a good story. 739 00:39:14,803 --> 00:39:17,083 And every story ends. 740 00:39:17,123 --> 00:39:20,363 We are taking you to that specialist. 741 00:39:20,403 --> 00:39:22,923 Everything is going to be fine. The past few days... 742 00:39:23,963 --> 00:39:26,723 ..I can't help looking back. Don't talk like that. 743 00:39:26,763 --> 00:39:28,203 No, but I was thinking. 744 00:39:29,323 --> 00:39:30,723 About Val. 745 00:39:32,283 --> 00:39:34,963 And all those men. You've had a few, darling. 746 00:39:35,003 --> 00:39:36,483 Mm. 747 00:39:36,523 --> 00:39:38,363 Clive the soldier. 748 00:39:39,683 --> 00:39:41,283 I was only 18. 749 00:39:41,323 --> 00:39:45,123 He proposed to me in the cellar of the Adelphi Hotel 750 00:39:45,163 --> 00:39:46,963 in the middle of an air raid. 751 00:39:47,003 --> 00:39:48,883 Then he jilted me. 752 00:39:48,923 --> 00:39:50,923 Because I was an actress. 753 00:39:50,963 --> 00:39:55,683 Then there was the stockbroker who wanted me. 754 00:39:55,723 --> 00:39:58,323 But only if I gave everything up. 755 00:39:58,363 --> 00:40:00,243 So I said, "No." 756 00:40:01,323 --> 00:40:03,523 And then that agent. 757 00:40:03,563 --> 00:40:05,003 Ben. 758 00:40:05,043 --> 00:40:07,963 Do you know, I can't even remember his surname. 759 00:40:09,443 --> 00:40:11,203 So many years ago. 760 00:40:14,283 --> 00:40:15,883 It's been a very... 761 00:40:15,923 --> 00:40:17,523 long life. 762 00:40:18,603 --> 00:40:21,603 But the funny thing is, out of all of them... 763 00:40:24,363 --> 00:40:25,643 ..I love... 764 00:40:26,683 --> 00:40:28,083 ..you. 765 00:40:31,443 --> 00:40:33,123 Oh, Miss Gordon! 766 00:40:37,963 --> 00:40:40,843 JACK: Tony! Opening positions, please! 767 00:40:43,003 --> 00:40:44,683 Get on with it. 768 00:40:49,483 --> 00:40:51,283 Oh, yes, it's lovely. 769 00:40:52,363 --> 00:40:53,723 Excellent. 770 00:40:56,843 --> 00:40:59,643 Everyone, I think we'll record this one. 771 00:41:01,323 --> 00:41:02,883 Final checks, please! 772 00:41:10,843 --> 00:41:12,483 Everyone set? 773 00:41:12,523 --> 00:41:13,963 Guys, good? 774 00:41:17,563 --> 00:41:19,043 And... 775 00:41:19,083 --> 00:41:20,443 action! 776 00:41:34,083 --> 00:41:35,963 You're absolutely beautiful. 777 00:41:39,203 --> 00:41:41,283 They said I might be too frivolous. Bah! 778 00:41:44,363 --> 00:41:46,323 TELEPHONE RINGS 779 00:41:46,363 --> 00:41:48,683 Crossroads Motel, can I help you? 780 00:41:53,843 --> 00:41:56,003 Are you trying to poison me? 781 00:42:01,963 --> 00:42:03,643 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 782 00:42:03,683 --> 00:42:05,043 Mwah! 783 00:42:05,083 --> 00:42:06,843 Smile, you miserable bastard. 784 00:42:10,283 --> 00:42:11,923 Is this some sort of soap opera? 785 00:42:11,963 --> 00:42:14,843 Because I only watch TV for the news and the wildlife. 786 00:42:14,883 --> 00:42:17,683 Well, then, you're a fucking idiot. 787 00:42:24,643 --> 00:42:26,283 Thank you. 788 00:42:28,043 --> 00:42:31,083 Now, there are a number of approaches we can take. 789 00:42:32,243 --> 00:42:33,963 Although it's got to be said, 790 00:42:34,003 --> 00:42:36,123 I consider this to be urgent, Miss Gordon. 791 00:42:37,563 --> 00:42:40,643 We try not to give an exact prognosis in cases like this. 792 00:42:41,723 --> 00:42:43,163 But still... 793 00:42:43,203 --> 00:42:47,683 I'd say we're talking about a small number of years, at best. 794 00:42:47,723 --> 00:42:50,203 APPLAUSE 795 00:42:52,483 --> 00:42:56,163 APPLAUSE CONTINUES 796 00:43:06,003 --> 00:43:08,123 Oh! Nolly, are you all right? 797 00:44:18,803 --> 00:44:20,363 And cut! 798 00:44:21,643 --> 00:44:23,323 Check it. 799 00:44:31,523 --> 00:44:33,323 Was that all right? It was lovely. 800 00:44:33,363 --> 00:44:34,723 Did it work? JACK: Good for sound? 801 00:44:34,763 --> 00:44:36,123 Yeah, I think so. 802 00:44:37,923 --> 00:44:39,603 Everyone! 803 00:44:39,643 --> 00:44:42,203 I think I can say, on behalf of us all... 804 00:44:44,123 --> 00:44:46,563 ..welcome back, Miss Noele Gordon. 805 00:44:46,603 --> 00:44:49,203 CHEERING 806 00:44:51,483 --> 00:44:52,723 Bravo! 807 00:44:57,203 --> 00:44:58,523 Bravo! 808 00:45:03,883 --> 00:45:05,963 Bravo! 809 00:45:06,003 --> 00:45:07,403 Bravo! 810 00:46:04,643 --> 00:46:06,843 Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com