NARRATOR: Chaos Bots have been sent from the future
to stop the one person who can save the world.
Me?
SINGERS: ♪ Hey, hey ♪
♪ Hailey's on it ♪
HAILEY: ♪ Teach a cat To play the piano ♪
♪ Roller-skate All the way to Orlando ♪
♪ Use my earwax To make a candle ♪
SINGERS: ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hailey's on it ♪
HAILEY: ♪ Win first place ♪
♪ For world's cutest pet rock ♪
♪ Do a corn maze Hope I don't get lost ♪
♪ Eat an onion ♪
- Kiss my friend Scott? - Huh?
- (Scott screams) - (garbage can clatters)
SINGERS: ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hailey's on it ♪
HAILEY: All right, Beta. Lay it on me.
Whatever mortifying list item
I'm supposed to do next,
Let's just get it over with.
Well, according my calculations,
your next most optimal list item is number 411.
Oh, heck, yeah. Whoa!
- Scott, it's time. - (Scott, on phone) Whoo-hoo!
Oh, heck, yeah.
(yelps)
(sighs) Let's do this.
What's happening here?
- Ah! - (grunts)
Jackpot.
SCOTT: We're rich.
There must be over 60 bucks on these.
Oh, I've been waiting for this one.
Grandma Banks has given me random gift cards
for every birthday, Christmas and graduation
since I was five.
And now list item number 411 says we got to spend them all.
Which means...
(both) Shopping spree!
♪ I'm calling up my girls ♪
(beeps)
♪ We're gonna spend it all ♪
Put it on the card.
You have $20 left.
I know. We'll take this $20 gift card.
You have $20 left.
I know. We'll take this $20 gift card.
You have $20 left.
Hmm. We'll take this $20 gift card.
(sighs)
Um, I'm not sure I have enough
for the full majestic unicorn,
so you can stop when you get to $6.13.
It's gonna go over.
No, it won't. I got this.
(both cheer)
♪ Shop till we drop ♪
- (tires squeal) - (bicycle bells ding)
Buy yourself something small.
(grumbles)
SCOTT: Whoa!
(both groan)
All right, I'm buying you one gazelle and...
And, oh! One king lion.
(lion roars onscreen)
Well, you still have the lion.
And the last gift card is spent.
- (wristband chiming) - Ugh, seriously?
What did we miss?
Oh, maybe it's this library card.
We just need to buy a library.
It's not the library card, you buffoon.
It's this.
HAILEY: Butter Burger?
I remember that place.
♪ Why have a better burger ♪
♪ When you can have A Butter Burger? ♪
(imitates guitar solo)
Wait, wasn't that the place that closed down because of rats?
Or a fire? Or a rat fire?
Yup. My mom said the real mistake
was hiring the rats to run the charbroiler.
How are we supposed to spend five bucks
at a place that doesn't exist anymore?
Well, according my research,
one Butter Burger location still exists
in Flagstaff, Arizona.
Which means I'm staying here
and playing "Zoo Party."
And since this gift card expires tomorrow,
guess we're going on a road trip.
Uh-oh, tomorrow? Ah, shoot.
I told Kristine we would hang out for our 45-day anniversary.
That is the rust anniversary.
I'm not your friend.
You can't come?
I have to go to Flagstaff by myself?
No, no. Helping you save the world takes priority.
I'll talk to Kristine and take care of it.
(air brakes hiss)
SCOTT: Good news, Hailey.
I took care of it...
by inviting Kristine.
(squeals) Hey-hey!
This is so exciting.
Technically, 84 days is the bus anniversary,
so Scott and I are jumping ahead a little bit.
SCOTT: I didn't know what to do about our anniversary,
but then I thought, hey, this trip is perfect.
A hot bus ride through the desert,
a fast-food restaurant, our awesome bus driver.
Sit down and shut your mouth hole!
Ha! This guy...
Hey, K-squad.
Today, I'm wearing a cotton, peaked newsboy hat
for my very first bus ride with my BF, Scott.
Let's see if we can make the ordinary extraordinary.
This is gonna be so much fun!
So much fun.
Ooh, so much fun.
No fun on my bus!
(screams)
(Scott & Hailey) ♪ Down by the bay ♪
♪ Where the pomegranates grow ♪
♪ Back to my home ♪
♪ I dare not go ♪
♪ For if I do ♪
♪ My mother will say ♪
♪ Did you ever see a bear Shaving his hair? ♪
♪ Did you ever see a deer Picking his ear? ♪
Did you ever see water...
from the... ocean?
♪ Down by the bay, hey! ♪
Ha! There's one. Punch buggy.
Punch buggy!
- Punch buggy! - Punch buggy!
Ow!
This is fun.
(all chomping)
(bubble pops)
(both giggling)
Welcome to Flagstaff. Now get out!
HAILEY: Geez, that bus driver's a crank.
SCOTT: No, that's the city motto.
We came all the way out here for this?
(hawk screams distantly)
At least the food must be good.
- Oh, it's really not. - It's cooked by rats.
(gasps) What?
SCOTT: Whoa, check out that sign.
"Health Inspection Grade: F"?
No, that other sign.
"World's deepest ball pit."
Last one in sits by the bathroom on the way home.
Oh, heck, no!
Wait! I don't want to do that!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- Whee! - Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
I don't know about this.
I don't think they clean this very...
- ever. - Come on, Kristine.
You don't want to miss your chance
to swim in the world's deepest ball pit.
Yeah. Odds are good this place
is gonna be condemned any day now.
Well, I guess I could try.
- Here, I'll help. - (screams)
(gasps)
My hat! I lost my hat!
I need my hat!
It's okay, it's okay.
Yeah. We'll find it.
(cat mewling)
Shoot, it must have sunk way down.
Who knew there was a downside to the world's deepest ball pit?
I am not leaving without my hat.
(gasps)
(truck horn blares)
(creature snarling)
(video game chiming)
How long until we should be worried?
(gasps)
I found my hat!
Um, yeah. That's a diaper.
(growls and screams)
That is it!
I don't know why you had to bring us on this awful trip
to buy the world's grossest hamburger, Hailey.
Or why Scott would think that this would be any fun.
But this is the worst anniversary ever.
- Do you think she's mad? - Oh, yeah.
This whole thing is my fault. I'll talk to her.
Thanks, Hailey. I'll stay here and look for Kristine's hat.
It might look like I'm just playing around in the ball pit,
but it's really to look for the hat.
Whee! Not over here!
Whee!
Not over here! Whee!
Hey, Kristine. Oh, you found your hat.
No. This is my lousy backup hat.
Okay.
Well, I just wanted to give you this double butter burger
and butter shake as my way of saying I'm sorry.
It's kind of hard to explain why it was so important
for me to come here,
but I shouldn't have made Scott come.
Not on your anniversary.
I'm sure you had some really fun plans.
Not really.
His original plan was to take me to the batting cages
to watch his "sick cuts,"
so a bus ride to the country with you
actually sounded super fun.
And super cottage core.
But it wasn't.
This is, like, all butter.
I really shouldn't have pulled you into the ball pit.
Or played so many rounds of punch buggy.
Or slap train.
Those are horrible games.
(slurps)
Ugh! This is all butter too!
Truth is, I'm just a little worried
now that you're dating Scott,
I might be losing my best friend.
What?
Hailey, I know I've only been dating Scott
for 45 days, 21 hours, and 37 minutes,
but I can tell you right now, he adores you.
- Really? - Yes.
There's no way you guys won't be best friends forever.
Like brother and sister.
Right.
You're blocking the slide.
Honestly, I should be the one apologizing.
The real reason I came on this trip
is because I'm jealous of you.
Of me? But you're the most popular girl in school.
You have thousands of followers,
whereas my dentist unfollowed me
because she says I depress her timeline.
Oh, I'm not jealous of any of that.
I have very healthy sense of self-worth.
But I am jealous of the connection you have with Scott.
You guys have so much fun together.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Yeah, we do.
But there's no reason the three of us
shouldn't have fun together too.
- Friends? - (squeals)
Are you grandmas ever gonna move?
Grandmas?
We're, like, 14. Whatever.
(both scream)
Okay, I found all these hats in the ball pit.
- Your hat was red, right? - (both) It was blue.
Oh, right. Okay. Whee!
Whee! Whee!
Okay, bestie, I think it's time
to try and salvage my month-and-a-halfiversary.
But first, I need your opinion about something.
I couldn't think of anything good to give Scott,
but then I remembered he liked sports,
so I got him this.
I mean this in the most supportive way possible:
burn that hat.
Yeah, you're probably right.
Good thing I also got him "Video Games."
Ugh. Here. I was saving this
so I could give it to Scott for his birthday,
but I want you to take it.
Wow! A baseball card.
Thanks.
I mean, I don't really follow baseball, but--
I mean take it to give to Scott.
Oh! That makes more sense.
It's a rare misprint of Mike Trout
splitting open his pants mid-swing.
- Scott'll love it. - (giggles)
Thanks, Hailey.
I see why Scott thinks you're so great.
Hey, Scott! Let's do presents!
(cat mewls)
(laughs) Cool!
Best present ever!
Oh, and I got you a present too.
First-class tickets for the train back home.
(squeals)
We don't have to take the bus back?
Oh, can you get a ticket for Hailey too?
- Sure. - (squeals)
And I promise we can play whatever games you like
on the way home.
OMG, you are gonna love Celebrity Hat Match.
You just match the hats
with the celebrities who wore them.
(squeals)
Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga.
Lady Gaga and Abraham Lincoln.
Hey, Hails,
thanks for fixing things with Kristine.
And for giving her this card.
Uh...
(laughs)
Oh, I can't believe he split his pants!
So cool.
(giggles)
(sign buzzing)