Not today, Hungry Hank.
And... tongs down!
The lunch buffet is closed. Scott, Hailey, clean it up.
- Whoo-hoo! - Yeah!
Oh, yeah! Uh-huh! Yeah!
So, you're probably wondering what I'm doing with a hot dog
and chocolate pudding pizza-rito, right?
Wait, is that what I look like when I eat?
Anyway, when the lunch buffet ends at U.F. Dough,
Scott and I graciously donate our time
to clean up the leftover food.
And by "clean up," I mean "stuff our face holes."
Your gluttony disgusts me.
You want a bite?
Even if I could eat, I wouldn't eat that.
Now, focus up, chow hounds.
The next most optimal list item for you to complete
is number 89:
be in a school musical.
Me? Sing in front of lots of people?
Hailey, that's crazy perfect timing.
The school musical is just a few weeks away.
And my girlfriend, you know, Kristine,
who I'm full-on dating now,
well, she's writing, directing and starring in The Musical.
Let me guess. It's about hats.
How did you know that?
You really are a super computer.
Be in a musical? Me?
I mean, sure, I've always wanted to be in a musical. Who hasn't?
But I've never sung in front of an audience before.
I'd be so nervous.
Come on, Hay.
You sing for your uncles' band all the time.
♪ Just look at the sky glow ♪
♪ Who cares Where the times goes? ♪
♪ A beautiful night... ♪
Totally different.
I don't sing for my uncles.
I sing with them.
Hey, maybe we could sing together.
I got a lead role.
Really? - Yeah.
But it was a tough audition process.
Hi. I'm Scott, and I'd like...
You got the part, boyfriend!
Show business is hard work.
Are you kids talking about the musical?
I love musicals,
and I'm so glad Scott is putting himself out there
and exploring the arts.
Unlike me, who spent my best years in a dark room
studying anatomy, when all I wanted to do
was bring a slice of happiness to the people.
Even him.
Anyway, great news.
I'm taking the whole night off to see your show.
You are? But you never take time off.
Not even for Becker's birth.
What can I say? I like to multitask.
Plus, Darryl's gonna cover for me.
Or maybe I'll close for the night.
Are you going to be in the musical too, Hailey?
Uh, I don't know.
You wouldn't be performing alone.
I'd be there to back you up.
Come on, it might be fun.
I'll do it.
I just need to find the perfect role.
Perfect.
♪ He's fedorable ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, unignorable ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ With the softest brim A dented crown ♪
♪ He's the slickest lid In town ♪
♪ He's fedorable ♪
You guys!
That was incredible!
Snaps all around.
But a little constructive criticism.
Some of you are still dancing like you have two left feet.
But I do have two left feet.
I apologize, Tina.
That cliché is outdated and offensive,
and you were honestly the only one even doing it right.
Everyone else, be more like Tina.
Now, let's take a break,
then Scott and I will rehearse our big love duet.
You heard the boss.
Take five. A true five.
Now, everyone clear the stage.
Important set piece coming through,
and it ain't stopping for no one.
Clear. Clear.
Clear.
- What's up, Hailey? - Becker?
I didn't take you as a theater fan.
I'm not.
But I am a fan of smashing the sets with a sledgehammer
once the show is done.
A perk of being a techie.
Becker!
Or should I call you "sister"
now that Scott and I are full-on dating?
Not if you like your eyebrows.
There's one teeny, tiny thing I need.
The spotlight at the end of the fedorable number
just isn't quite bright enough.
It's already at the highest setting, boss.
Well, it's very important it's even brighter.
We need to get this scene the perfect...
"hatmosphere."
Well, we're already working with 3,000 lumens
and a 2A converter box,
but I guess I could bypass the restrainer block.
I don't understand a word of that,
but it sure sounds exciting.
Isn't this fun?
Then we do the whole spinny thing.
And then we tappity tap. And then...
I just want the show to be really good for my mom.
No worries. The show was great.
Whoo-hoo!
Actually, the show was not great.
The story doesn't make sense,
the costumes are ridiculous,
and it's way too long.
But there are some catchy songs.
♪ He's fedorable ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Unignorable ♪
♪ The softest brim A dented crown ♪
♪ He's the slickest lid In town ♪
OMG!
Sharp!
Hailey, your voice is glam-tastic!
I need to write you a coatrack solo called, "I'm Hooked."
Oh, no, I'm happy as a silent coatrack.
Aw. Sad face emoji.
Well, you can still change your mind.
We still have a few weeks till opening night.
It's opening night!
Boris, act louder.
Tina, the box step starts on your right-most left foot.
I don't know which is which anymore!
Becker, did you brighten the spotlight
for the end of the fedorable number?
Don't worry, boss. I read you loud and clear.
Looks like the audience
is brimming with excitement.
Am I right?
Killer hat pun, Hails.
But something's happening.
Um, I have this weird rumbling in my stomach,
like little butterflies are being eaten
by fire-breathing dragons!
Sounds like nerves.
I guess there's a first time for everything.
Wait, you've never been nervous before?
I feel that way, like, all the time.
- Really? - If I had to sing
in front of that audience tonight,
I'd be so nervous I'd probably completely freeze
and forget all the words,
and then tumble off the stage and break both my legs.
Uh, well, uh, break a leg.
I mean, you know, not literally.
Just... you know.
Have fun out there!
♪ Welcome to Hattingtons ♪
♪ Selling you a hat again ♪
♪ No shenanigans ♪
♪ Any hat on a platter, man ♪
- ♪ Hats ♪ - ♪ Every shape and size ♪
- ♪ Hats ♪ - ♪ Adult or child ♪
♪ Come in and grab a brim ♪
♪ Welcome to Hattingtons ♪
Yes!
♪ Hat on a hat on a hat On a hat ♪
♪ What could be better Than that?
♪ Sombrero, sombrero ♪
♪ Wish I were a sombrero ♪
♪ Instead of a lame beret ♪
♪ Three million Four hundred ways ♪
♪ To hide your head ♪
♪ Why bother Washing your hair? ♪
♪ Just cover it instead ♪
♪ Am I a hat? ♪
♪ In my dreams ♪
♪ I covered the whole head ♪
♪ Instead of being just a brim ♪
♪ He's fedorable ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, unignorable ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ With the softest brim And a dented crown ♪
♪ He's the slickest lid In town ♪
♪ He's fedorable ♪
- Ah! - Owie!
Jonathan! Thad! Vam!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
You're welcome.
Ow! Oh, my ankle.
And before our big love duet.
It's impossible to sing with a sprained ankle.
But it's the best song. I wanted my mom to see it, and...
Hailey, you could do it.
You have an incredible voice.
Me?
Oh, but the nerves.
The butterflies. The dragons.
I know, but once you start singing,
that'll totally go away.
Please?
I want to, but...
I'm sorry...
I just can't.
It's okay. I can do it by myself.
Kristine,
sun hat costume, please.
But, Scott, you can't sing a duet by yourself.
Yeah, well, they said man would never walk on the sun either.
But those brave astronauts proved them wrong.
Break a leg, boyfriend!
♪ Pillbox, Stetson ♪
- ♪ Balaclava ♪ - ♪ Shower cap ♪
♪ Sent hat ♪
♪ We're like pancakes And ice cream ♪
♪ Public pools and chlorine ♪
♪ Like spaghetti and... ♪
Uh...
♪ Like spaghetti and... ♪
Um...
Mango?
Going out on that stage
in front of all those people was the last place on Earth
I would ever want to be.
But for some reason, at that moment,
it didn't matter.
Because Scott needed my help.
♪ Like spaghetti and... ♪
♪ Like spaghetti And meatballs ♪
♪ Are meant for each other ♪
♪ We're two puzzle pieces ♪
♪ Like hot dogs and mustard ♪
♪ You ♪
♪ You fit me perfectly ♪
♪ Can't help but serenade you ♪
♪ 'Cause our love Is tailor-made, yeah ♪
♪ You, you fit me perfectly ♪
♪ If I'm a lock Then you're the key ♪
♪ You fit me perfectly ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ You fit me perfectly, yeah ♪
♪ Like pancakes And ice cream ♪
♪ Waffles and ice cream ♪
♪ Anything and ice cream ♪
♪ You fit me perfectly ♪
Oops.
I owe it all to the hats.
Thanks for saving me out there, Hails.
And, hey, you actually sang on stage in front of people.
Wait, I totally did.
And it was kind of awesome.
I think I want to do it again.
Becker, stop!
We still have five more performances!
Why? The show's already a smash hit. Hyah!
Becker!
♪ He's fedorable ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, unignorable ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ With the softest brim A dented crown ♪
♪ He's the slickest lid In town ♪
♪ With the softest brim A dented crown ♪
♪ He's the slickest lid In town ♪
♪ He's fedorable ♪