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[child laughs]
[dog barks]
[laughter]
[faint distant voices]
[laughter]
[girl] Come on, Groupie.
[whispers] Come on, come on. There you go.
That's it. There you go. There you go.
[faint distant voices]
[woman exhales]
[gasps]
[breathes heavily]
- [car lock beeps] - [sighs]
[knocking at door]
It is my own home, Sandra Panza.
I should have the right to choose
whether or not I admit someone from the mental health service.
What? You not gonna turn round, call my bluff and go,
"All right, Audrey. See ya." And then come back again?
What's got into ya? You're as unresponsive as a corpse.
You'll have something to say when I'm dead, I bet.
People always do.
Where's that wry, smug laugh of yours gone, Sandra?
I'll be writing a letter of complaint
about your late arrival.
Yeah? Who to? The Queen?
That's more like it.
[typewriter clicks]
I'm writing a precis of my life.
Presented to me on my retirement as a typist...
Typist for Her Majesty's Government. Yeah.
[typewriter clicks]
[Sandra] This stuff...
That's my art.
I used to be in the kitchen-sink school of realism,
but now I'm avant-garde and misunderstood.
[monitor beeps]
"Better blood pressure than mine."
Huh?
That's what you usually say, Sandra.
[monitor beeps]
Any changes we should be aware of?
You're unusually formal today in approach.
But your appearance has slipped to an all-time low.
Any changes with you?
I had a dream.
[Sandra] Not really the kind of changes we're after.
But the dream presaged...
Looks like you need a new calendar, Audrey.
It's important that the records show
I was first hospitalised
while an award-winning painting student
at the Royal Academy of Arts.
It's where the visionary genius William Blake studied.
- Did you get on with them? - Oh! Take this down.
Due to my endless forced imprisonment
in mental hospitals, my art has been ignored.
It has been my biggest regret.
What?
[Audrey] You need to drive myself and my art
to this gallery before the deadline.
As much as I'd love to...
Love to? Arse-lick! You can't stand the idea.
And don't go telling me you haven't the time.
I found time to travel the world.
Yeah? So?
- And that. - [sighs]
Where have you ever been?
[Sandra] "Typist Artist Pirate King."
They let you put that?
I've got to go. Crisis meeting.
[Audrey] Cut the jargonese.
How does this make you feel?
- [sighs] - You're just like my sister.
You know what my report said in my student days?
"Outstanding. A rare artist."
Take me to the gallery. It's a matter of urgency!
Enough dramarama!
Catch the bus! You love a bus ride.
I had a bag of my sketches stolen on the bus once.
Well, treat yourself to a taxi.
Last time I was in a taxi, I was mistaken for a prostitute.
What about your sister? Can't she take you?
She's in Yorkshire, 200 miles away!.
She's not gonna gallivant down here!.
She hasn't wanted to see me for six years.
You should know that from the files.
- I've had a lot on mind, Audrey. - As have I!
Care in the community. Bum-suck!
Psychiatric nurses,
mere desperados trying to get me on dope.
Foisted on me by the NHSI.
I never wanted any of ya! All the abominations.
And you, you're the worst of the lot.
You're one giant fail!
[mimics Sandra] "See you in two weeks."
That's what you normally say, Sandra.
But don't worry, I'll be off your hands by then!
[door slams]
[mouse squeaks]
[meal wrapping pops]
I will not end my days like this!.
Arse-suckers!.
I'm being used as a sex doll in my own home!.
Sex pots! Sex pests! ..
- I'm a public convenience! - [neighbours shout]
Pestilence! Prostitute! Pervert!
Human traffickers!.
[on hi-fi]? That you've met and the places that you've been
# And if you do, will anything ha open #
- [knocking at door] - [turns volume up]
# Will it come true? Will anything happen #
# Will I see you again #
[Sandra] Audrey it's me! Let me in!.
- ? Will I see you again? - [knocking at door]
"Do not darken my door again" springs to mind.
? I always said you could make it
? Just don't forget that I said it.
Crack of dawn. Urgent call. Raced over.
[Audrey] I've never seen you so hyper-vigilant.
- It doesn't suit ya. - Turn that off!
[music stops]
We can't have you screaming your head off all night.
- Your neighbours can't take it. - They can't take it?
They're the ones sexually interfering with me
by remote control!
They should be drugged and incarcerated, not me.
It's no way to live or die.
It's not a failure to be mentally ill, Audrey.
I'm not mentally ill.
Mam's slippers.
So poignant.
Mam lived here with me for over 30 years.
She sacrificed so much for my art.
I recently wrote to the Missing Persons Unit
about reuniting with my mother and father,
but they wrote back saying as they were deceased,
that wouldn't be possible.
Very ordinary minds, these organisations.
I was 19 when my father died.
Me mam used to say to me,
"Eh, thank God your da never saw how you've suffered."
My sister was 15 when he died.
Aren't you going to take my blood pressure?
No need. I took it yesterday.
I think with the night I had, it would be prudent.
- Better safe than sorry. - Yeah.
Yeah. OK.
[Audrey] Here, Florence Nightingale.
Try my right arm for a change.
It wouldn't take too much of your time
in the scheme of things, would it?
- Where is it again? - It's local.
OK. OK. You win.
Tip of the iceberg.
A mere fraction of my art.
Let's not take all day about it. I haven't got long.
[Audrey] Me neither.
But if a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing well.
That art, is it?
Use your imagination, Sandra.
Sterile.
No personality.
What's the address of the gallery for the sat-nav thingy?
I don't trust such devices.
It's a simple route. I'll direct you.
Left.
[soundtrack] ? Bus, telephone boxes, waiting
? People, railings, dusk, Trafalgar Square
? Bus, telephone boxes, waiting
? People, railings, dusk, Trafalgar Square
? Bus, telephone boxes, waiting...
Rapid-moving, fast-changing world.
When I first came to London,
it was only a few people's priority to have a car.
My father passed away before I moved here, but he used to say,
"Eh, none of those London tricks."
Your sister, Dorothy. Does she hate London?
Is that why she doesn't visit?
[distant girls' laughter]
Must be close by now.
I still regard myself as a local.
After all, I was born and brought up there.
- Where? - Sunderland.
Sunderland? The gallery's in Sunderland? Jesus, that's...
In the Northeast of England.
bloody hours away!
With comfort breaks, seven hours.
It is 280 miles precisely.
Brought a brand-new toothbrush
and one of me mam's nightdresses for you.
- You said it was local. - It is to me!.
There's tons of galleries in London, aren't there?
London galleries have always thrived on elitism
and I'm not their scene.
I've travelled the globe as you know, Sandra.
But Sunderland was once my entire world.
I know it's not a major gallery of note,
but it means I will finally have my exhibition.
I know full well what's on your mind.
Oh, I doubt it.
You're thinking your bosses won't allow you
to transport me such a distance.
But the way I see it, you can't just apply rules willy-nilly.
They're made to be broken.
I handed in my notice yesterday. Today's my last day.
[Audrey] You left the service?
Without telling me?
[sighs]
No excuse not to drive me, then.
Oh, I'm sure there's more important people
to see today than me.
I wasn't meant to see anybody today,
but... your name came through
and I was... I was concerned about you.
It's about time you broadened your horizons, Sandra.
It'll stop you getting so anxious.
- Think of me. Do it for me. - [sighs]
"Let us not grow weary of doing good,
for in due season we will reap if we do not give up."
I shouldn't. I've got paperwork to sort.
But you will? You'll drive me?
Yeah.
- All that way? - Uh-huh.
But why?
Well, like you said, it's... It's a good deed.
There's more to it than that, I can tell.
What's on your mind? There's something. I know it.
It's a ploy. A trick to lock me up.
You're carting me off to be incarcerated!.
You're not acting like Sandra! You're an impostor!
Audrey! Give me a break! Do you want to go or not?
That's more like it.
Now you're sounding like you again.
All right, I agree to go. It'll do you good.
But let's get a move on. Heave-ho!
- [indicator clicks] - [horns blare]
[horns blare]
- [indicator clicks] - [horns blare]
Though not a driver myself, at your speed,
the procedure would be to remain in the left lane.
Yeah, I get it, Audrey.
[Sandra screams]
- [gasps] - [horns blare]
[Audrey] You've never driven on a motorway before, have you?
[Sandra] Sunshine's not really built for motorways.
[Audrey] If A and B roads were good enough for my father
and the car he doted on,
then they're good enough for you and Sunshine.
[mutters]
[Sandra] Your diet, Audrey!.
I'm not on a diet.
I meant the food you eat.
My sister Dorothy
often pushed the virtues of healthy food on to me.
[Sandra] Dorothy had a point.
What's the point of self-denial now?
I've not got long to live anyway.
Where did this dying thing of yours suddenly come from?
A dream.
Oh, well, a dream.
There are more things in heaven and earth
than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Sandra.
I did Shakespeare at school, you know?
- Much ado about nothing. - The quote is Hamlet.
I meant, in my opinion, he's been over-hyped.
Much Ado About Nothing.
Hamlet.
Plays about deceit and treachery.
[bell tolls]
Audrey!.
Christ don't do that!.
I have to pray to St Christopher for my own protection!
[choir]? On England's pleasant pastures green
? And did the Countenance Divine
# Shine forth upon our clouded hills #
? And was Jerusalem builded here
# Among these dark Satanic mills #
? Bring me my bow of burning gold
? Bring me my arrows of desire
? Bring me my spear: O clouds unfold
? Bring me my chariot of fire
? I will not cease from mental fight
? Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
? Till we had built Jerusalem...
[meditative music]
[deep inhaling, exhaling]
Hello, dear. Take a seat.
- [whispers] Audrey. - Oh, our youngest recruit yet.
Do sit, my love.
Close your eyes and think of light.
[shouts] Post tenebras lux!
You probably don't recognise me, Miss Moul.
It's Audrey Amiss.
You always encouraged me,
even though my school reports all indicated I had no sparkle
and I needed to speak up more.
I'm speaking up these days!
If we could all turn the other way,
it's all about balance.
You likely remember my sister, Dorothy Amiss.
She was the more sociable one.
She excelled at music. Became a schoolteacher.
Audrey. Everyone just wants to chill.
Miss Moul may be a yogi now,
but she was our headmistress when my sister and myself
were at Bede Grammar School for Girls!
According to what I heard,
Miss Moul rescued women from prostitution
- and educated them. - [turns music up]
So, the yoga teacher was your old headmistress?
Don't be such a stick in the mud.
People are allowed to change careers.
Well, a whole hour
of people farting on chairs? No, thank you.
Glad we're out of there.
Hold your horses. I'm not leaving.
I just need to take care of some paperwork.
[sighs]
[lock clicks]
Bum-suck!
Nothing doing!
[door handle rattles]
[shouts] I've been trapped!
[Sandra] Hold tight. I'm on it.
[door handle rattles]
No!.
[groans] No!
It's OK. I'm here to help.
What a predicament.
We'll sort this in a jiffy.
I'm dying, Father. I've not got long.
"You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day."
"He shall cover you with His wings
and you shall be safe under His feathers."
[door opens]
Why did you lock the door? Don't you trust me?
- Thanks. - That must've been terrifying.
It feels like things are happening out of time,
not necessarily in my past, but in my future.
Breathe with me.
A deep breath and hold and exhale.
Think of somewhere peaceful. Some beautiful place.
[inhales]
[exhales]
Thank you for the faith you had in me, Miss Moul.
Your spine-tingling words still ring in my mind.
- Remember them? - My memory's not what it was!.
"You, my dear Audrey,
are gonna be one of the greatest painters of the age."
You said, "How I long to hear noble reports of you, Audrey,
in my retirement."
I didn't live up to your hopes, Miss Moul.
You thought I was going to be some Columbus,
conquering the global art scene.
Oh, my love. I've never been disappointed.
Actually... I'm on the way
to getting my first exhibition right now.
You see? It's never too late.
You've given me courage to this day, Miss Moul.
Och, you have returned to me all those feelings I had back then.
How glorious it was to be regarded as an art star.
Post tenebras lux.our school motto.
Light after darkness.
And you.
You are a beacon of light in this sick and ailing world.
Once upon a time, I thought I was Jesus,
like many a psychiatric patient.
I can smell whisky. What went on in that toilet?
In the biblical sense, being locked in with the vicar
was a romantic pipe dream.
But seeing Miss Moul again was a revelation.
Look. Sandra, look.
How it catches the light.
How it curves like a golden curl of hair.
Reminds me of my own hair when I was a child.
Luxury!
[Audrey] A thing of great beauty.
[Sandra] It's a fake.
[Audrey] It's real in its own way.
I need a wee. Are you coming?
What an alternative lifestyle you lead, Sandra.
Mid-meal? Most irregular.
No funny business, Audrey Joan Amiss. You hear me?
[racing car sound effects]
[laughter]
- Look! . - It's this way round. Hey...
Pouting Pamela, Jimmy Cragg!
Come on, spit it out. It's time for the truth.
- We're... We're not Pamela. - Or Jimmy.
Don't go giving me your lip.
Your eyes were on stalks. What did you see?
- We didn't see anything. - Shh!.
- [woman] Who are you? - [man] What do you want?
You know very well who I am!
I want to know what you're hiding!
Are these two bothering you?
Beyond bother. They're stonewalling me.
We've never met her.
These two, posing as innocent,
were present at the major event of my life when I was 19.
I know what's on your mind, but they're not lookalikes.
They're the real deal. It's them.
Come on, Audrey.
Sunderland awaits. The exhibition, remember?
Ahoy there! True artists . take no notice of the public.
I know what you're all thinking.
You're thinking I'm Don Quixote, the crazy old knight.
I saw you behind that counter, masturbating!
Audrey, look at me, look at me, hey.
- [snaps fingers] - Hey, hey.
Look at me. What's going on?
They've been underground since Heber's Ghyll.
- What? - Who's that?
Heber's Ghyll is a place in Ilkley in Yorkshire.
I've not been back there since I was 19.
I was on holiday with Dorothy, my sister,
who has brutally cut me off.
And I nearly died!
A miracle I've lived till now!.
- Tell me! - [waitress] Oi!
Please! Why? How?
I'm dying! I must know! ..
I'm sorry. We don't know.
[young woman yells]
Your chances for redemption are over!
You need to pipe down!
I will not be silenced, you cock-eyed crab!
[gasps]
Right! I'm ringing the police! ..
No! Please don't. Erm, she's with me and...
I don't care! I want her out!.
Cretin! Pervert! Prick! Lotus eater!.
- Shit! Shaman! Shameful . - No, don't touch her.
Get off me, son of a biscuit eater!
Pouting Pamela and Jimmy Cragg didn't have the decency
to tell me what occurred.
What do you reckon they would have said happened?
- Were they not there for you? - They were very much there.
What I meant was, did you feel let down by them?
And so in your mind, they were all part of your attempt?
Attempt?
This was a great unresolved wrong done to me.
My struggles have been major,
but I've never been that way inclined.
If I wasn't due to die, I'd want to live
on this abused, beautiful planet ad infinitum.
[exhales]
[camera clicks]
[Sandra chuckles]
[birds chirp]
[plane flies overhead]
[footsteps approach]
[blows]
[Audrey] Maestro!
As a child, I loved to be mystified.
The world is crying out for more magic.
- Come on. - [moans]
She propositioned me.
The usual reaction of children to myself is to cry.
I'm equipped to ward off evil spirits.
Impostor.
The machine's mucked up. It's just the woman before you.
Thelma and Louise, eh?
[soundtrack] ? Put down the booze
? Let the demons win the fight
? I dropped my gloves to the ground
? You know I'm sorry for the times I made you cry
? I made an art of letting you down
[song continues on stereo]
? I used to say it's only me I'm hurting
? But I saw you on the stairs
- [Audrey sings along] - ? The kid was crying
? And the dogs were howling.
You know it?
On my wireless penetrating Clarence Avenue all hours.
# What's the word on the street #
# Have I lost my crown #
# Or will I be king again #
# What's the word on the street #
# Have I lost my crown #
# Or will I be king of everything #
[soundtrack]? Tempted myself time and time again
? Like self-destruction was so cool
? I mocked your tears and I scarred your heart
? I blame the past and I blamed you
[sat-nav] Turn right.
Turn left.
Please turn around where possible.
We're completely lost.
Please turn around where possible.
[Sandra] Right.
[woman] Directions aren't really my forte.
[Italian accent] Forte! Pianoforte!
Soft. Loud! Soft.
Loud!
You once said it's only when we get lost
we actually find ourselves.
This ignoble impresario here, Sandra, is Miss Hunter.
Me and Dorothy's former piano teacher.
She arranged our trip to Heber's Ghyll where I...
You snuck Dorothy away for a hush-hush confab.
What was that about, Miss Hunter?
I've never met you before in my life.
Coward. Cretin. Sex trafficker.
- Audrey! - Go away. Go away!
No! It's contaminated!
- Audrey! - Leave it!.
- God's sake! - No, Sandra!
Go and get your bags. You go get your bags!.
- [Sandra] There's a name for it. - [Audrey] For what?
This thinking people are other people.
The thing is, this is where being on medication could help.
You lot are all so gung-ho about drugging away perception.
Who I see is who they are
and what I see is what I see, and that's that.
Reality has always been a heavily contested area.
The powers that be put England on maps
as the same size as Colombia,
whereas in reality, we are four times smaller.
You always have to have the last word, don't you, Audrey?
That's because it might be my very last word.
I've not got long left, remember?
- Audrey! - Follow the signs!
[birds chirp]
[Audrey] Look, seriously,
Miss Moul instilled in the whole school
the importance of being charitable at all times.
Going my way?
Destination Sunderland.
Here go.
[seat belt alarm beeps]
[Audrey] Put your seat belt on.
- [seat belt clicks] - [alarm stops]
What are you listening to?
[chuckles] Elbow.
Superior pop music.
? You stuck a pin in the map I was in
? And this is a note from the roadside...
- Get you. - [lighter clicks]
Light that and you're out.
[chuckles]
Are you a rent boy?
[chuckles] Ah.
I'm in search of an art exhibition.
[man] Yeah? Which one?
Mine, of course.
I'm an artist, too, you know.
I make work that signifies the nothingness it represents.
It's like... everything and nothing at the same time.
[sighs]
Hmm. Yeah. I'm totally into outsider art.
I'm not an outsider artist.
I won a place at the top art school in the country.
The Royal Academy has never been the top art school.
It's always been the Royal College.
Are you still harping on about that?
The Royal Academy wasn't good enough for you, was it?
- You wanted cool. - What?
Hitchhiking was always your thing.
You said that after the bleakness of Yorkshire,
hitchhiking to France was a revelation.
You told me I carried the seeds of my own destruction.
Who is he, Audrey?
John Lander Junior. A fellow student of mine.
He was in an art show I should have been in,
if he'd not pushed me to the loony bin!.
That painting which kicked off your spectacular success
was claptrap!
[chuckles]
You wanted me destroyed!
What are you going on about, you freak?
- [handbrake clicks] - Apologise.
- You'll be sorry if you don't. - [door clunks]
It's a child lock, you fool.
[shouts] Say sorry!.
- Arsehole! - [lighter clicks]
Pseud of the art world!
I'm sorry!
I'm really, really sorry.
[doors unlock]
[Audrey] Go on, get out.
[both laugh]
[Audrey] Go on. Go on. After him. After him.
[sheep bleat]
[car beeps]
[Audrey] Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep!
- [beeping continues] - [Audrey] Beep.
Beep, beep, beep, beep...
Beep. Beep.
Beep-beep, beep!
- Put-up job! - I can't get a signal.
Foiled again!.
We're nowhere!
Come on.
No. Come on.
Don't worry, Sandra.
You go in there.
[sighs]
Good for shock.
[chuckles]
[sighs]
At first I examined the road for an invisible barrier.
A force field of energy made of electrical compounds
like an invisible glass shield.
- Did you find it? - Don't patronise me.
There isn't one. The barrier is you.
You've been stringing me along.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
I'm here to support you.
I've been stopped by a breakdown before, but not this time.
Not this one, engineered by you and your cronies.
What a fool I've been to trust you! You're undercover!
You've not given up your job at all, have you?
You're still in the game!
What medical professional
would spend free time with a patient, hey?
And why, huh? Why?
[groans] The caring profession. Arse shit!
You psych-knobs get a kick out of people having breakdowns
and hearing voices and killing themselves!
You get off on seeing people drugged and put away!
Oh, my heart bleeds custard for you!
[Audrey yells]
[Sandra] Audrey! Audrey, stop!
[car beeps]
[horn blares]
The tree!
[gasps] Sunshine!. Sunshine!.
That's the big difference
between you and me, Sandra Panza.
A tree is something in your way.
For me, it's a living being, full of grace.
I care about nature. The environment.
I I drive an electric Carl ...
You... You think you know me, Audrey.
Think again! I don't even know me!.
[yells] Jesus wept!
[sobs]
You don't... you don't give a flying shit
about anybody, do you?
No wonder your sister disowned you.
Do you know something?
Your art is a load of poxy old crap!
So... [gasps]
So, just piss off out of my life, would you?
Piss off!.
[screams]
[sobs]
[vehicle approaches]
[Sandra sobs]
[Audrey] Right.
Audrey!.
Audrey! Stop!
Jesus Christ said, "Be of good cheer,
for I have overcome the world."
He ended up crucified.
Well, life can be cruel. I can testify to that.
[driver] Me too.
Such is the stuff of masterpieces.
Long may they flourish.
Hear, hear!
Da Vinci had a love of animals, just like me.
He was testament to the fact
that you don't have to be mad to be an artist.
We artists are often seen as nuts.
In my mind, it's because we can express ourselves
so much better than others.
I'm always keen to capture the inner life of a person.
You're all stiff upper lip.
You're very excitable, aren't you?
High spirits are often seen as a disorder and stamped on.
It is today's society that has run to extremes and not I.
[sneezes]
[Audrey] You may have caught Legionnaires' disease,
a mild form of which is like a bad cold.
I think I had it on my way back from Bolivia.
[guffaws]
Hang on.
You've never said where we're going.
I need to get to my exhibition.
[handbrake clicks]
[driver laughs]
[cackles]
[spits]
[yells]
[shouting]
[woman speaks Anglo-Saxon]
[Sandra] Here!. Here, just here!
[man speaks Anglo-Saxon]
- Audrey! - [man speaks Anglo-Saxon]
- Audrey? - [man speaks Anglo-Saxon]
Audrey?
Audrey! I'm sorry!.
I didn't mean what I said.
Audrey!.
You're right to be angry!.
You hit a nerve, that's all.
I was under the impression
you lot had your nerves trained out of you.
I'm so glad you're all right.
The things that were going through my mind...
Who was he? The driver?
Audrey, look at you. You're shaking.
If your former nurse talked to you like you talked to me,
you'd be on edge.
I was totally in the wrong.
Audrey...
[men speak Anglo-Saxon]
Let her pass!.
The talk is always of me and of my problems
and I tend to forget in life
that we may not be in the same boat,
but we are all in the same storm.
We cannot erase history.
We just have to live with it.
We know how this all ends, don't we?
The Vikings and the Anglo-Saxons.
Let's not dwell in the Dark Ages.
The soldier said he could take us to a hotel.
Is the hotel licensed?
Will there be gin to settle me nerves?
A five-star experience.
I used to share my bathwater with my sister Dorothy
so I've left the bath for you. I had a wee in it.
- Audrey! - Healing powers. You need it.
You know, you talk about your sister a lot.
I don't.
[TV host] Take a look at it now. Concentrate.
I'll have a quick shower. Stay here, OK? Please.
[TV host] And what it can do. Take your time.
Lizzie and Sarah?
[girl] Nit-nurse!
[TV host] Nit-nurse. Let's take a look.
- You've got it! You've got it! - [applause on TV]
The three categories we'll use, Tracey. Here they are.
Recently I watched a programme on Kurosawa,
a Japanese film director.
I'd forgotten the artistic heights
reached by the likes of Kurosawa
and really how run of the mill television is these days.
It's crying out to enter another golden age.
[switches channel]
[TV presenter] A late Victorian...
- Sandra! Sandra, quick! - What?
It's Heber's Ghyll.
The place where my life nearly ended
when I was with Dorothy all those years ago.
I've often wondered if it really did end
and I was replaced with an impostor.
It took a year to paint with my right hand again.
It all feels so very long ago.
[TV presenter] As we pass through stands
of sweet chestnut and European larch...
I know the art world doesn't always favour the brave,
but I believed that I was going to achieve recognition.
What I previously judged to be secondary or minor
have assumed the beauty of masterpieces.
Joan?
The Virgin Mary has sent me to apologise to you.
You took us on that staggeringly picturesque boat trip,
- remember, Joan? - I'm not Joan.
As there was no commentary from you, I provided it.
I felt like a military commander.
I realise now, I shouldn't have taken over.
Miss Amiss, where is your carer?
[shouts] It's A-miss and Sandra is not my carer!.
You couldn't even do a running commentary if you tried!
Not if you tried!
Can I have some assistance here?
No! Don't you No! ...
[receptionist] Thank... Thank you.
False ceiling, false floor.
[driver] You're very excitable, aren't you? [guffaws]
Sex crimes are concentrated here.
[driver cackles]
You know, people feel threatened
when you throw things at them, Audrey.
What's the matter with your eye?
If thine own eye be single, thy body shall be full of light.
Get back to our room, eh? Bit of privacy.
Privates.
Peeping Tom. Powell.
Impostor.
It's me, Audrey. It's Sandra.
You don't sound like you.
[sighs]
[exhales deeply]
I wish Miss Moul had been my headmistress.
Ours just wrote us all off.
Miss Moul believed in you so much, Audrey.
Breeze, bright, sky, blue, sea, sand,
gold, yellow, red, white,
lighthouse, Groupie, Dorothy, I, pirate.
Tides of time, tides, tides of time.
Here.
Could you draw me a picture of where we are now?
[door opens]
[footsteps approach]
Police brutality. Indignity!
- Another false arrest! . - Audrey...
[gasps]
[clanking]
[gasps]
[sobs]
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
[sobs]
Shh, shh, shh.
[sobs]
Hello, Audrey.
Da.
Da! [Laughs]
Da! Da! Da!.
[soundtrack]? Who knows where the time goes?
[officer] Come on, pet. Let's get you to bed.
[Audrey chuckles]
It'll be all right. Come on.
- [chuckles] - It's OK. Come on.
? Goes
[faint distant voices]
? And I am not alone
[gasps]
? While my love is near me
? I know it will be so
? Until it's time to go
? So come the storms of winter
[Audrey sings quietly]
? And then the birds in spring again
? I have no fear of time
# For who knows where the time goes #
? Who knows where the time
# Goes #
Had the perfect sleep!.
Must've been because my neighbours
weren't abusing me by remote control.
So I found out we can catch a coach all the way to Sunderland,
and I called a mechanic to pick up Sunshine.
Good rescue operation, Sandra.
Well...
[Audrey] That's your aura.
S-Somehow, you know
that's the way I feel inside.
[Audrey] From my familiar aftermath feeling,
I deduce you were instrumental in me waking up
with my freedom intact. So thank you.
[sighs]
Is this an all-inclusive deal? I fancy breakfast.
A dream to work with!
It has special properties.
Like magic.
There it is. A diabolical vision from my past.
My first hospital! Stop!
Stop!
[driver] Does it look like a scheduled stop, lady?
- Stop! - I'm not your bloody chauffeur!
Crazy lady!
It has its own morgue.
Some people never got away.
Listen.
All the souls.
[gate squeaks]
[Sandra] The best thing was when these hospitals
all got shut down.
In a way, it was the worst thing, too.
Never enough money for proper care in the community.
God was here. Talking to me.
- And what did he say? - I've no idea.
There was a woman who thought she was a statue
and she was always stealing my thoughts.
[man] You carried the seeds of your own destruction.
John Lander Junior...
[Sandra] Our hitchhiker?
He was plotting against me.
I confronted him and ended up smashing a window,
and woke up here.
The psychiatrists insinuated I leave art school.
Thought the pressure was making me ill.
"We'll make a shorthand typist out of you yet Audrey Amiss!".
My head felt as if the skull covering my brain had cracked,
and my brain was leaking out.
I hate you had to endure that.
[door squeaks]
[door creaks]
- [door slams] - [gasps]
[lighter clicks]
- [gasps] - [lighter clicks]
[Sandra hums a tune quietly]
[sobs]
When Mam and Dorothy visited,
I wanted them to get me out, but I couldn't speak.
I was drugged.
Well, whatever you wanted to say back then, say it.
I won't even listen.
[screams]
[both scream]
[breathes heavily]
[gasps]
I don't care what you think.
I can't wither away at this bus stop and await my demise.
The gallery won't stay open all day.
[Sandra] Do you hear me arguing?
The council cut the bus timetable into tatters.
I wrote a stern letter.
I'm a great letter writer tool.
I keep a log of every letter sent.
Me last letters were to the Salvation Army
about me ongoing issues with thrush
and to the Sherlock Holmes Society about me missing sock.
Are you going near Sunderland?
I can drop you close. I'm meeting me boyfriend.
[clicks tongue]
- Who is she, Audrey? - Knitting Nelly.
Walked the streets for a living,
but on admission for moral insanity,
she thought she was a high-court judge.
Oh, thank you!
Oh! A gift of the elixir of life.
How sweet it is to be alive.
[shouts] I'm the king of the road!.
I'm king of everything!.
[soundtrack]? You stuck a pin in the map I was in
? And this is a note from the roadside
? Cutting the Breeze
? Of the Tennessee sundown
? Came the sound of the voices I know
? I've been pondering trees
? On the steeliest comedown
? And now in the moment
? I'm home.
I found the Taj Mahal rather flat and overrated.
But this? This is a true work of art.
[camera clicks]
- [accordion music] - [bells rattle]
Bells.
Hands!.
- [Sandra] Audrey! - [laughter]
- Come on, Sandra. - No, no, no, no.
Oh, why not?
Round.
[both laugh]
- Ah! - [music stops]
Walk round.
[man] Well, there was more than last year, eh?
- [Audrey] Thank you. - [Sandra] Thank you.
[Audrey] Hello.
- Hiya. - Are you for hire?
- I am, yeah. - OK.
Are you not going to do that bit?
The walking-into-the-pub bit? Yeah, no.
[laughs] Canny dancing! Where to, pet?
34 Villiers Street. You better put your best foot on the pedal.
Soon as you can Geronimo!.
Gabe. Call me Gabe. [Chuckles]
- Here. - Thank you.
Yeah. Got 'em.
- Can I sit in the front? - Yeah, yeah.
[engine starts]
[faint distant voices]
[Sandra] You must've got the address wrong.
Here.
No. This is it.
[sighs]
[Sandra] Oh, Audrey.
I should have checked. This is from years ago.
[sobs]
It's me. It's me.
I've got in my way my whole life.
Oh.
I'm a never-been, never-was, never-will.
[sobs]
Here. Come on. Please?
[sobs]
[sighs]
You know what's funny?
You've got me thinking in pictures now.
I can see a beach.
A lighthouse.
[sobs]
Pirates.
Right come on!.
Come on! Let's go there ..
Come on.
Let me help you.
[seagulls cry]
[Sandra] I'm glad I came with you.
[Audrey] You must be bonkers.
[Sandra] I'm feeling better than ever.
[Audrey] Well, about time.
[Sandra] That's the last thing
she said to me. My client.
My patient, Lily.
She said, "I'm feeling better than ever."
I missed the signs.
When someone's about to do that to themselves,
their mood can improve.
I failed her.
[girl] Come on, Groupie!. [Laughs]
[dog barks]
[girls laugh]
[girl] Good boy. Good boy!
- All families have rifts. - I'm not involved in a rift.
My sister merely cut me off six years ago.
Audrey, don't take this wrong,
but I think you need to see Dorothy.
If I went to see her now,
I'd be about as welcome as an uncooked egg.
I'd be with you.
[Audrey] Oh, she'd love that, Dorothy would.
Me turning up with my psychiatric nurse.
I'm not your psych nurse any more.
I'm your friend.
[soundtrack]? From California to the New York island
? From the redwood forest
? To the Gulf Stream waters
[faint distant voices]
? This land was made for you and me
[Audrey] Caught red-handed!. Treachery! Trickery!.
We thought we could trust you!
No, it's to show her! She buys work by locals.
- colour! - Arseville.
You've concocted this to try and make me feel better.
Your picture makes me feel better.
It sings out! It makes me happy! ..
We think of the arts as a luxury,
but when it comes to the crunch, we'd be badly off without them.
Art makes life worth living.
- I'd like to buy it. - It's not for sale.
- Oh. - Only kidding!
I'd like to buy more of your work.
Vincent van Gogh only sold one painting in his lifetime!
I've outdone him!.
Well, I never! I've smashed it!
[laughs]
You can tell your sister you sold some work.
OK, that's clinched it. We're going.
That's brilliant, but we'll need to phone ahead.
- Let her know we're coming. - Absolutely not.
All telephones are tapped and a source of intelligence.
[soundtrack]? This land was made for you and me
? This land is your land...
I think it's up to you to do the deal.
- £10 each, I think. - OK.
[sighs]
You didn't ring the bell.
I'm not entirely sure this is the right house.
Audrey!.
I'm here with my friends, Dorothy. Sandra and Gabe.
Well...
- Hi. - Hello.
It's just like Audrey to turn up without warning
after six years of refusing to see me.
[chuckles]
Er... I better... get the kettle on then, eh?
Go on.
I wanted to be the first to tell you I've sold some of my art.
Really? Oh.
I know you thought I talked about myself too much, John,
but, you see, I'm often the one doing the talking.
[John chuckles]
- I'll... make myself scarce. - [Dorothy] Hmm.
[door opens]
[door closes]
I've met a circus of people on this trip.
Miss Moul, for one. She's taken up yoga.
Miss Moul, our headmistress?
And I met our piano teacher, Miss Hunter.
- Remember Miss Hunter? - Audrey.
You know that's not true.
Miss Hunter and Miss Moul
they'd be dead by now.
Sandra seems nice.
And your other friend, he looks a bit familiar.
Went back to visit the first mental hospital I was in.
[Dorothy] Oh, gosh.
I always felt so cold on the train
on the way to see you there.
I remember when the doctor told Mam and me
you had paranoid schizophrenia.
A highly contested diagnosis from my current vantage point.
I've missed seeing you, Audrey.
- [scoffs] - What?
You're acting like I slammed the door on you.
It was you who shut me out. Why?
- Things kept rising up. - Rising up?
You had such an exceptional gift for art, Audrey.
[shouts] Had?
Well, I prefer your early work. It's no secret.
Secrets.
[Dorothy] You were always the best swimmer.
The best sprinter, the best hockey player.
You could throw a ball further than any of us, with accuracy.
It was always a bone of contention
that you were a better tap dancer than me.
- Why are you buttering me up? - [Dorothy laughs]
[? plays "Marche Militaire No.1" by Schubert]
[resumes playing]
We reached the dizzying heights
of playing Schubert's Marche Militaire as a duet.
Did we?
Yes, we played it at Heber's Ghyll for the retired sailors.
[coughs]
Somebody's choking me.
Oh, your tea's gone down the wrong way.
I shouldn't have brought up Heber's Ghyll.
I'm sorry.
I didn't need you for it to come up.
It's been on my mind lately.
What happened?
Well, er...
Well, you were 19 and I was 15...
Oh, tell me something I don't know!
- There is no need to be rude. - Arsewipe!
This is a strange thing to say, but Heber's Ghyll,
and the accident was when I felt I lost you, Audrey.
My Audrey never came back.
I knew it.
I was replaced with an impostor.
That isn't... That's not what I meant. I just...
I just meant that you had changed.
I want to try and forgive you, Dorothy.
I have nothing to be forgiven for.
Hey! Audrey! Stop it! Stop! No ...
Stop!
Stop! Audrey no! .,
Stop it. Stop it.
[John] Everything tickety-boo?
Yes.
Yes, everything's fine.
Everything's fine.
I'm...
I'm gonna wrap up the sandwiches for Audrey and her friends.
She's leaving.
Oh, dear, where's the foil?
Just get the foil for us, please.
All done.
[indistinct chatter]
Cheese and tomato.
I wasn't sure if you were vegetarian or not.
Dorothy and I need to go to Heber's Ghyll
as a matter of urgency.
[Dorothy] I can't just take off.
No choice.
[Dorothy] No, I'm expecting a delivery.
Sometimes revisiting the site of a trauma can be helpful.
I'm happy to wait in.
Well, you'd miss your doctor's appointment.
And anyway, how would I get back?
I'll fetch you.
Oh, thanks, but, no, I'm sorry. I can't just drop everything.
I'm sorry, Audrey.
Oh, my God. She's got me mam's slippers.
[Dorothy] Oh, God.
[Audrey laughs]
A Mam sandwich!
[all laugh]
Our mother used to put baking paper in our sandwiches
when we were children as a joke.
[laughs]
[Dorothy] She was a wonderful woman, our mother.
Audrey. Open the door.
Has she locked it?
- Audrey? - [knocks on window]
Audrey, come on. You're keeping everyone waiting.
I'll be with you every step of the way, Audrey.
- No need to be afraid. - I'm not afraid.
[Sandra] It could help you fill in the gaps.
[softly] Mind the gap.
Mind the gap.
[Sandra] I'm not gonna push you to do anything, Audrey.
[softly] Push. Push.
[Dorothy]? Will your anchor
? Hold in the storms of life
? When the clouds unfold
? Their wings of strife
? When the strong tides lift
? And the cables strain
? Will your anchor drift
[both]? Or firm remain?
? We have an anchor that keeps the soul
? Steadfast and sure while the billows roll
? Fastened to the rock which cannot move
? Grounded firm and deep in our Saviour's love
[door opens]
- [young Audrey] Come on! Quick! - [young Dorothy] Coming!
[young Audrey] Come on. I'll race you up. Ready?
I can catch you.
[Dorothy] We were wearing our Sunday shoes.
Our best shoes.
We knew Mam wouldn't be happy.
[young Dorothy] Wait, Audrey.
[Dorothy] Oh! Are you OK?
You can see how you can easily slip and fall, Audrey.
[Audrey] I didn't slip!
[Dorothy] We were playing hide-and-seek.
One moment I saw you, and the next you were gone.
When she fell, a rock ripped through her arm,
her artery, and your nerves.
The strange thing, you... you didn't scream.
[young Audrey] Dorothy!
I'll find ya!
[laughs] Where have you gone?
[Dorothy] Miss Hunter brought us here after Father died.
Yeah. She wanted to help.
[Audrey] She was leading me to my doom.
We... We stayed at the Seaman's Rest.
Miss, us and the retired sailors.
Miss Hunter had some sort of arrangement there.
We played piano for them
and we all sang the hymn together,
Will Your Anchor Hold.
[distant choir]? Fastened to the rock which cannot move.
I... was down there,
hiding, when it happened.
[young Audrey] Ten, nine, eight,
seven, six...
Five, four, three, two, one.
Here I come, ready or not!
[Dorothy] After the accident,
Audrey managed to run up there and...
I looked up
and this, erm, smartly dressed man
he... he came to our rescue
and she... she was clinging to him,
and your blood was pouring.
Later on, our mother offered
to get his suit professionally dry cleaned.
He managed to find a wheelbarrow to put Audrey in
to take her across the moor and to the road...
Ten, nine, eight, seven...
- There's something else. - What?
You had it in for me!.
How could you even think that?
I had nothing to do with your falling.
I looked up to you. You were my greatest companion.
You said there was something else, Dorothy.
Well, it's not important.
- [Sandra] You never know. - It's...
It's just, erm, Audrey wasn't wearing her glasses.
You couldn't see.
You tripped.
Pouting Pamela and Jimmy Cragg,
they only had eyes for each other.
Over the years, I figured out Dorothy engineered my fall
in cahoots with Miss Hunter.
I used to take my glasses off
before I felt a bout of insanity coming on.
Audrey! Don't! You can't see!.
[Audrey] Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
- five, four, three, two, one. - Audrey!
Here I come ready or not!.
[gasps]
[Sandra gasps]
Oh, this is proof.
I've had demons and angels!
My fall was nothing to do with Dorothy.
- I'm sorry, Dorothy. - Oh...
I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry. - It's not your fault.
You're not to blame, Audrey.
You never were.
[sighs]
[chuckles]
? Bus, telephone boxes, waiting
? People, railings, dusk, Trafalgar Square
? Bus, telephone boxes, waiting
? People, railings, Trafalgar Square
? Bus, telephone boxes, waiting
? People, railings, Trafalgar Square
? Bus, telephone boxes, waiting
? People, railings, Trafalgar Square
? Put down the booze
? Let the demons win the fight
? I dropped my gloves to the ground
? You know I'm sorry
? For the times I made you cry
? I made an art of letting you down
? I used to say it's only me I'm hurting
? But I saw you on the stairs
? The kid was crying
? And the dogs were howling
? And a siren filled the air
# What's the word on the street #
# Have I lost my crown #
# Or will I be king again #
# What's the word on the street #
# Have I lost my crown #
# Or will I be king of everything #
? Tempted myself time and time again
? Like self-destruction was so cool
? I mocked your tears and I scarred your heart
? I blamed the past
? And I blamed you
? I used to say it's only me I'm hurting
? But I saw you on the stairs
? The kid was crying
? And the dogs were howling
? And a siren filled the air
# What's the word on the street #
# Have I lost my crown #
# Or will I be king again #
# What's the word on the street #
# Have I lost my crown #
# Or will I be king of everything #
? Or will I be king
# Of everything #
# Or will I be king #
# What's the word on the street #
# Have I lost my crown #
# Or will I be king again #
# What's the word on the street #
# Have I lost my crown #
# What's the word on the street #
# Will I be king #