1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:07,248 --> 00:00:08,560 - MAN: ♪ MTV 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:09,733 --> 00:00:15,256 - [angelic vocalizing] 5 00:00:19,122 --> 00:00:22,056 - Oh, hey, darlings. I didn't see you there. 6 00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:25,232 Just Michelle Visage here enjoying a cozy night in, 7 00:00:25,232 --> 00:00:26,681 sitting by the fire, 8 00:00:26,681 --> 00:00:29,132 sipping on a brand-sponsored cocktail, 9 00:00:29,132 --> 00:00:33,550 and cracking open one of my favorite holiday classics. 10 00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:36,898 It's a story that's full of holiday spirit, 11 00:00:36,898 --> 00:00:39,936 filled with quirky small-town characters, 12 00:00:39,936 --> 00:00:44,630 and banned in 32 countries for being, quote, "too gay." 13 00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:47,150 So kick your boots off, grab yourself a drink-- 14 00:00:47,150 --> 00:00:48,427 if there's anything left-- 15 00:00:48,427 --> 00:00:50,326 and enjoy a tale that begins 16 00:00:50,326 --> 00:00:52,466 like all other Christmas stories: 17 00:00:52,466 --> 00:00:56,504 with sweeping shots of New York City. 18 00:00:56,504 --> 00:00:58,506 - ♪ La-la, la-la, la 19 00:00:59,714 --> 00:01:01,716 ♪ La-la, la-la, la 20 00:01:01,716 --> 00:01:04,271 ♪ Is my favorite holiday 21 00:01:04,271 --> 00:01:08,965 [electronic beats] 22 00:01:19,631 --> 00:01:21,288 - MICHELLE: Twas the week before Christmas 23 00:01:21,288 --> 00:01:22,634 and all through New York, 24 00:01:22,634 --> 00:01:24,774 everyone was feeling the spirit, 25 00:01:24,774 --> 00:01:27,156 except one lady hard at work. 26 00:01:30,952 --> 00:01:32,920 - [ding] 27 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,612 - Take this up to publishing, size 80 headline. 28 00:01:35,612 --> 00:01:37,097 Something splashy like, 29 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,133 "Twelve Skirts That Say I'm a Slut, 30 00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,135 but I Kind of Know Math." 31 00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:43,275 - [gasps, laughs] 32 00:01:43,275 --> 00:01:45,726 - [indistinct chatter] 33 00:01:45,726 --> 00:01:48,591 - Hey, queen. - Tristan. 34 00:01:48,591 --> 00:01:51,041 Is that my favorite gay coworker? 35 00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:53,492 - Does this answer your question? 36 00:01:53,492 --> 00:01:55,736 - Ah, it's so gay! I love it. 37 00:01:55,736 --> 00:01:58,014 - It's almost like it's my entire personality. 38 00:01:58,014 --> 00:01:58,980 - BOTH: [laughing] 39 00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:01,051 - So, any plans for the holidays? 40 00:02:01,051 --> 00:02:04,296 - Oh, you know me. I'll be working the whole time. 41 00:02:04,296 --> 00:02:07,334 The only thing I'll be opening on Christmas is my emails. 42 00:02:07,334 --> 00:02:09,474 - Girl, do you not have any family or friends 43 00:02:09,474 --> 00:02:11,200 to spend the holidays with? 44 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,063 - Well, I have you, right? You're my friend. 45 00:02:13,063 --> 00:02:15,652 - No, babe. I'm your gay coworker. 46 00:02:15,652 --> 00:02:17,482 I'm just here to blindly support you 47 00:02:17,482 --> 00:02:20,519 and recite catchphrases that I learned from black women. 48 00:02:20,519 --> 00:02:22,383 Wig. 49 00:02:22,383 --> 00:02:24,696 - Well, I'm trying to look good for the promotion. 50 00:02:24,696 --> 00:02:26,594 - You mean... 51 00:02:26,594 --> 00:02:28,838 - BOTH: Executive Fashion Ladyboss in Chief. 52 00:02:28,838 --> 00:02:30,357 - Ah, you're totally gonna get it. 53 00:02:30,357 --> 00:02:32,117 You are, like, the Joan Didion 54 00:02:32,117 --> 00:02:35,016 of telling people to wear scarves as shirts. 55 00:02:35,016 --> 00:02:37,916 - Well, I just hope Hannah thinks so. 56 00:02:37,916 --> 00:02:41,747 - HANNAH: Olivia! In my office now! 57 00:02:41,747 --> 00:02:43,508 - Wish me luck. 58 00:02:43,508 --> 00:02:48,340 - [phone ringing] - [indistinct chatter] 59 00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:49,859 - HANNAH: Olivia! 60 00:02:49,859 --> 00:02:54,519 - ♪ 61 00:02:54,519 --> 00:02:56,176 - [sobs] 62 00:02:57,901 --> 00:03:03,493 - Someone please find me a new assistant! 63 00:03:03,493 --> 00:03:04,563 [sighs] 64 00:03:04,563 --> 00:03:05,840 - What did she do? 65 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:07,187 - [sighs] I don't know. 66 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,224 Something about chemo, taking off work. 67 00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:12,122 I don't know. Hah! 68 00:03:12,122 --> 00:03:14,366 Hey, listen, thanks for coming in. 69 00:03:14,366 --> 00:03:18,336 There's something exciting I'd like to discuss with you. 70 00:03:18,336 --> 00:03:21,580 Does the name "Tuckahoe" mean anything to you? 71 00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:23,617 - Is that, like, German for "big taco"? 72 00:03:23,617 --> 00:03:25,205 - [laughs] 73 00:03:26,758 --> 00:03:28,277 It's this little town that 74 00:03:28,277 --> 00:03:31,349 all the major rags are buzzing about. 75 00:03:31,349 --> 00:03:34,352 Apparently they're obsessed with the holidays. 76 00:03:34,352 --> 00:03:35,560 Hah, hah, hah! 77 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:37,389 Makes me want to vomit. 78 00:03:37,389 --> 00:03:40,737 - So you want me to write an exposé on a Christmas town? 79 00:03:40,737 --> 00:03:42,912 - Dear girl. 80 00:03:42,912 --> 00:03:46,950 Readership numbers are down, Olivia. 81 00:03:46,950 --> 00:03:50,195 Everyone's saying that print journalism is dead. 82 00:03:50,195 --> 00:03:53,371 Well, we need something controversial 83 00:03:53,371 --> 00:03:56,236 to put us back on top. 84 00:03:56,236 --> 00:04:01,275 Imagine it: nice little town, top of the naughty list. 85 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,966 [laughs] 86 00:04:02,966 --> 00:04:06,522 I want you to go there and dig up some dirt-- 87 00:04:06,522 --> 00:04:08,455 covertly, of course. 88 00:04:08,455 --> 00:04:09,973 And most importantly, 89 00:04:09,973 --> 00:04:14,012 get your hands on this winter crown. 90 00:04:15,496 --> 00:04:20,087 - [gasps] Whoa. 91 00:04:20,087 --> 00:04:22,331 - HANNAH: Mesmerizing, isn't it? 92 00:04:22,331 --> 00:04:25,334 It's the grand prize at this silly little competition 93 00:04:25,334 --> 00:04:27,025 they throw every year. 94 00:04:27,025 --> 00:04:30,200 The ultimate winter accessory 95 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:34,929 that will have the world reading this exposé. 96 00:04:34,929 --> 00:04:37,691 I want it on the cover, Olivia, 97 00:04:37,691 --> 00:04:41,350 of the annual Christmas issue. 98 00:04:41,350 --> 00:04:42,696 That's right-- 99 00:04:42,696 --> 00:04:45,699 - BOTH: The most important issue in fashion. 100 00:04:45,699 --> 00:04:47,356 - OLIVIA: Wait. 101 00:04:47,356 --> 00:04:49,461 How am I supposed to write about Christmas? 102 00:04:49,461 --> 00:04:51,118 I always spend it at work. 103 00:04:52,844 --> 00:04:54,984 - All I'm saying is it would look pretty good for that 104 00:04:54,984 --> 00:04:56,986 promotion you've been eyeing? 105 00:04:56,986 --> 00:05:01,818 But if you don't wanna do it, I'll find someone who will. 106 00:05:01,818 --> 00:05:05,408 Maybe...Tristan. 107 00:05:05,408 --> 00:05:08,135 - TRISTAN: You are snatching my edges, sis! 108 00:05:08,135 --> 00:05:10,689 - If he ever gets around to doing work. 109 00:05:10,689 --> 00:05:12,104 - He's-- 110 00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:15,522 - Look, I'm gonna need an answer by tomorrow, okay? 111 00:05:21,769 --> 00:05:25,221 - MICHELLE: As Olivia sat there, she pondered and reminisced. 112 00:05:25,221 --> 00:05:30,191 Is Christmas a day she regrets to have Christ-missed? 113 00:05:30,191 --> 00:05:32,228 - What do you think, Barbara? 114 00:05:32,228 --> 00:05:34,851 What do you do when you're at a crossroads? 115 00:05:34,851 --> 00:05:37,716 - Take the job, Olivia! 116 00:05:37,716 --> 00:05:39,373 - Barbara? 117 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:44,723 - All great lady journalists do anything to get the story. 118 00:05:44,723 --> 00:05:48,313 Ask tough questions. Go undercover. 119 00:05:52,938 --> 00:05:54,595 - OLIVIA: Go undercover, huh? 120 00:05:54,595 --> 00:06:04,985 - ♪ 121 00:06:04,985 --> 00:06:07,297 - Hannah? I'll do it. 122 00:06:07,297 --> 00:06:10,680 You'll have the exposé on your desk in a week. 123 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,751 Goodbye, Olivia St. LaPelle. 124 00:06:12,751 --> 00:06:15,375 Hello, Maggie Zeen. 125 00:06:18,757 --> 00:06:22,312 - [triumphant Christmas music] 126 00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:36,603 - [folksy music] 127 00:06:39,813 --> 00:06:41,159 - Excuse me? 128 00:06:41,159 --> 00:06:44,438 Can you tell me where the Tuck'd Inn is? 129 00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:45,819 I'm here on business. 130 00:06:45,819 --> 00:06:47,407 - Christmas business? 131 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,856 - Um, sure. 132 00:06:48,856 --> 00:06:52,342 - [bell rings] - [gasps] It's starting! 133 00:06:52,342 --> 00:06:54,034 - What's starting? 134 00:06:54,034 --> 00:06:56,519 - Really not from around here, are you? 135 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,386 - ♪ The Christmas trees are on display ♪ 136 00:07:01,386 --> 00:07:03,423 ♪ And looking picture perfect 137 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,355 ♪ It's coming from their college fund ♪ 138 00:07:05,355 --> 00:07:07,427 ♪ And definitely worth it 139 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,394 - ♪ There's cookies in the oven ♪ 140 00:07:09,394 --> 00:07:11,534 - ♪ And Grandma in the kitchen ♪ 141 00:07:11,534 --> 00:07:13,743 - ♪ The snowball fights are mostly ice ♪ 142 00:07:13,743 --> 00:07:15,918 ♪ But hey, that's just tradition ♪ 143 00:07:15,918 --> 00:07:18,058 - ♪ I met a man of mystery one day ♪ 144 00:07:18,058 --> 00:07:19,784 ♪ And been in love since 145 00:07:19,784 --> 00:07:21,510 ♪ He's from abroad and super hot ♪ 146 00:07:21,510 --> 00:07:23,995 - ♪ And definitely not a prince ♪ 147 00:07:23,995 --> 00:07:25,962 - ♪ There's mistletoe on every door ♪ 148 00:07:25,962 --> 00:07:27,930 ♪ And kissing without worries 149 00:07:27,930 --> 00:07:30,070 - ♪ Except for maybe one, which is ♪ 150 00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:31,968 ♪ Whoever gave me herpes 151 00:07:31,968 --> 00:07:34,005 - ♪ It's a Tuckahoe Christmas 152 00:07:34,005 --> 00:07:36,179 ♪ There's magic in the air 153 00:07:36,179 --> 00:07:38,043 - ♪ And if you listen, you'll hear the children ♪ 154 00:07:38,043 --> 00:07:40,045 ♪ All caroling out in the square--shut up! ♪ 155 00:07:40,045 --> 00:07:42,116 - ♪ It's a Tuckahoe Christmas 156 00:07:42,116 --> 00:07:44,187 ♪ In case you didn't know 157 00:07:44,187 --> 00:07:48,398 ♪ It's Christmastime in Tuckahoe ♪ 158 00:07:50,159 --> 00:07:52,161 - ♪ We've got a kid with polio 159 00:07:52,161 --> 00:07:54,197 ♪ And look, he's got his crutches ♪ 160 00:07:54,197 --> 00:07:56,303 - ♪ I haven't felt my legs in years ♪ 161 00:07:56,303 --> 00:07:58,270 ♪ But hey, it's got its blessings ♪ 162 00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:00,341 - ♪ A Christmas ghost, a talking dog ♪ 163 00:08:00,341 --> 00:08:02,378 ♪ And look, it's Dolly Parton 164 00:08:02,378 --> 00:08:04,311 - ♪ I'm only here for this one part ♪ 165 00:08:04,311 --> 00:08:06,106 ♪ 'Cause I ain't been paid, darlin' ♪ 166 00:08:06,106 --> 00:08:08,039 - ♪ It's a Tuckahoe Christmas 167 00:08:08,039 --> 00:08:10,144 ♪ There's toys in every store 168 00:08:10,144 --> 00:08:12,077 - ♪ A chance to do something real creepy ♪ 169 00:08:12,077 --> 00:08:14,183 ♪ Outside a woman's door--hi 170 00:08:14,183 --> 00:08:16,081 - ♪ It's a Tuckahoe Christmas 171 00:08:16,081 --> 00:08:18,118 ♪ In case you didn't know 172 00:08:18,118 --> 00:08:22,329 ♪ It's Christmastime in Tuckahoe ♪ 173 00:08:22,329 --> 00:08:24,193 - ♪ I plan on finding 174 00:08:24,193 --> 00:08:26,367 ♪ What this town is hiding 175 00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:30,475 ♪ When I do, I know that the promotion will be mine ♪ 176 00:08:30,475 --> 00:08:32,753 Why did I just sing that? Oh, pardon me. 177 00:08:34,617 --> 00:08:36,688 - [tapping] 178 00:08:36,688 --> 00:08:37,724 - DANCING HUSBANDS: Woo! 179 00:08:38,863 --> 00:08:42,832 - Those are your...husbands? - Mm-hmm. Why do you ask? 180 00:08:42,832 --> 00:08:44,247 - DANCING HUSBANDS: Woo! 181 00:08:44,247 --> 00:08:50,426 - ♪ 182 00:08:50,426 --> 00:08:52,255 - ♪ It's a Tuckahoe Christmas 183 00:08:52,255 --> 00:08:54,361 ♪ It's kinda about God 184 00:08:54,361 --> 00:08:56,501 - In a consumer-capitalist commercial way that uses 185 00:08:56,501 --> 00:08:58,261 religion as a façade. - OTHERS: Shut up! 186 00:08:58,261 --> 00:09:00,298 - ♪ It's a Tuckahoe Christmas 187 00:09:00,298 --> 00:09:02,403 ♪ In case you didn't know 188 00:09:02,403 --> 00:09:04,820 ♪ It's Christmastime in Tucka-- ♪ 189 00:09:04,820 --> 00:09:06,960 ♪ Christmastime in Tucka-- 190 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,202 - [all gasping, chattering] 191 00:09:08,202 --> 00:09:09,894 - It's Mayor Coont! 192 00:09:09,894 --> 00:09:14,070 - [drumroll] 193 00:09:17,004 --> 00:09:18,178 - [cymbals crash] 194 00:09:18,178 --> 00:09:21,008 - [cheers and applause] 195 00:09:21,008 --> 00:09:23,355 - Merry Christmas, Tuckahoe! 196 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,288 - ♪ It's Christmastime in Tucka-- ♪ 197 00:09:25,288 --> 00:09:27,221 - ♪ Christmastime in Tucka-- 198 00:09:27,221 --> 00:09:29,258 - ♪ Christmastime in Tucka-- ♪ 199 00:09:29,258 --> 00:09:31,018 - [countrified] ♪ Christmastime in Tucka-- 200 00:09:31,018 --> 00:09:32,986 - ♪ Christmastime in Tucka--hi ♪ 201 00:09:32,986 --> 00:09:35,195 - ♪ Christmastime in Tucka... 202 00:09:36,058 --> 00:09:37,197 - Oh, sorry. 203 00:09:37,197 --> 00:09:38,992 ♪ Christmastime in Tucka-- 204 00:09:38,992 --> 00:09:44,825 - ♪ Christmastime in Tuckahoe ♪ 205 00:09:46,862 --> 00:09:48,346 - [applause] 206 00:09:48,346 --> 00:09:50,797 - [instrumental "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"] 207 00:09:50,797 --> 00:09:53,075 - Is that the mayor? - Coont. 208 00:09:53,075 --> 00:09:54,628 - What did you just call me? 209 00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,492 - Mayor Coont? 210 00:09:56,492 --> 00:10:00,289 - MAYOR COONT: Seasons tidings, my town! 211 00:10:00,289 --> 00:10:03,361 Tomorrow marks a very special day. 212 00:10:03,361 --> 00:10:06,916 It's the first day of our annual Winter Ball! 213 00:10:06,916 --> 00:10:10,023 - [cheers and applause] 214 00:10:10,023 --> 00:10:12,370 - Now, I don't need to tell you how it works, 215 00:10:12,370 --> 00:10:17,064 but I will anyway just in case somebody comes from out of town 216 00:10:17,064 --> 00:10:19,101 on Christmas business or something. 217 00:10:19,101 --> 00:10:22,760 The ball. The ball is a weeklong, 218 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:26,626 multi-part competition to judge 219 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:32,045 what street in town embodies the holiday spirit the most. 220 00:10:32,045 --> 00:10:35,358 - [cheers and applause] 221 00:10:35,358 --> 00:10:40,536 - Delia, the crown, please. 222 00:10:40,536 --> 00:10:41,710 - Work it, girl! 223 00:10:41,710 --> 00:10:43,056 - [sighs] 224 00:10:43,056 --> 00:10:44,540 Gonna miss sleeping in this little number. 225 00:10:44,540 --> 00:10:45,921 - [laughter] 226 00:10:45,921 --> 00:10:47,301 - As Delia Von Whitewoman, 227 00:10:47,301 --> 00:10:49,821 the head housewife of Kittenheel Court, 228 00:10:49,821 --> 00:10:53,238 and the winner of the last eleven winter balls, 229 00:10:53,238 --> 00:10:55,033 I just wanna say... 230 00:10:55,033 --> 00:10:56,794 it's just a silly little crown, 231 00:10:56,794 --> 00:10:59,520 and not something to plan your entire year/life around. 232 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,384 - [laughter] 233 00:11:01,384 --> 00:11:03,697 - ["We Wish You a Merry Christmas" continues] 234 00:11:07,149 --> 00:11:08,288 - Let it go, Delia! 235 00:11:08,288 --> 00:11:09,945 - [Gollum-like] Or what? 236 00:11:09,945 --> 00:11:11,429 - [gasping, disturbed exclamations] 237 00:11:11,429 --> 00:11:14,674 - I mean, here you go, Mayor Coont. 238 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,745 - What? Wow. 239 00:11:17,262 --> 00:11:20,576 - As our forefathers once ordained, 240 00:11:20,576 --> 00:11:24,891 no citizen shall see the crown before the final pageant, 241 00:11:24,891 --> 00:11:28,170 or else they will fall victim 242 00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:31,069 to the dreadful Tuckahoe Curse. 243 00:11:31,069 --> 00:11:32,381 - [gasping] - MAYOR COONT: Mm-hmm. 244 00:11:32,381 --> 00:11:34,210 I'm sure everyone here remembers 245 00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:36,109 what happened to Little Lennie, 246 00:11:36,109 --> 00:11:38,180 our local polio child. 247 00:11:38,180 --> 00:11:39,457 - Little Lennie! 248 00:11:39,457 --> 00:11:43,495 - Russ, could you please lock this away? 249 00:11:45,428 --> 00:11:47,223 All right. 250 00:11:47,223 --> 00:11:49,985 Tuckahoe, start your engines, 251 00:11:49,985 --> 00:11:53,816 and may the best housewife win! 252 00:11:53,816 --> 00:11:55,853 - [cheering] 253 00:11:55,853 --> 00:12:01,721 - [horn and drum fanfare] 254 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,343 - Bitches! 255 00:12:03,343 --> 00:12:06,760 - [shouting, laughter] 256 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,624 - [indistinct chatter] 257 00:12:12,145 --> 00:12:14,423 - Oh! 258 00:12:14,423 --> 00:12:15,389 Oops! 259 00:12:15,389 --> 00:12:17,598 - Oh my god! I'm so sorry. 260 00:12:17,598 --> 00:12:18,772 - No worries! 261 00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,912 I'm--I'm sure it will come out in the wash. 262 00:12:20,912 --> 00:12:22,500 Can you hold this? 263 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:24,398 - [angelic choir sings] 264 00:12:26,262 --> 00:12:31,785 - [sultry music playing] 265 00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,476 - [gasps] - Hey, Mack? 266 00:12:33,476 --> 00:12:35,168 Could you take the crown to that secret location 267 00:12:35,168 --> 00:12:37,342 nobody knows about? - Oh-- 268 00:12:37,342 --> 00:12:40,173 - Sorry about that. 269 00:12:40,173 --> 00:12:43,348 Name's Big Russ. I'm the mayor's security. 270 00:12:43,348 --> 00:12:45,661 - Maggie. Uh, Maggie Zeen. 271 00:12:45,661 --> 00:12:49,976 - Well, looks like I owe you another, uh... 272 00:12:49,976 --> 00:12:51,322 Wait a second, is this coffee? 273 00:12:51,322 --> 00:12:53,945 - It is. It is coffee, yeah. 274 00:12:53,945 --> 00:12:56,154 I actually love coffee. 275 00:12:56,154 --> 00:12:59,123 - Well, you love coffee? That is crazy! 276 00:12:59,123 --> 00:13:02,126 'Cause I also love coffee. 277 00:13:02,126 --> 00:13:03,541 - Really? Oh my god, 278 00:13:03,541 --> 00:13:06,199 I've never met anyone else who loves coffee. 279 00:13:06,199 --> 00:13:07,648 [laughs giddly] 280 00:13:07,648 --> 00:13:09,581 I actually even have this saying in the morning: 281 00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:11,273 don't talk to me until I've had my-- 282 00:13:11,273 --> 00:13:13,482 - BOTH: --hot bean water. 283 00:13:17,762 --> 00:13:21,317 - Would you maybe wanna grab a cup with me? 284 00:13:21,317 --> 00:13:25,908 - Uh...I'm really busy with work. 285 00:13:25,908 --> 00:13:29,981 But...maybe I'll see you around. 286 00:13:29,981 --> 00:13:34,434 - ♪ 287 00:13:34,434 --> 00:13:36,470 - Bye, Maggie Zeen. 288 00:13:39,266 --> 00:13:40,854 - Lost the scent of the crown. 289 00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:43,857 But fortunately, I have a reservation at the town inn. 290 00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:47,378 It's the perfect place to chat up the locals and get the scoop. 291 00:13:47,378 --> 00:13:49,656 Someone's bound to know where that crown is hiding. 292 00:13:49,656 --> 00:13:53,418 - [indistinct chatter, laughter] 293 00:13:53,418 --> 00:13:55,731 - [yelps] - Oh my god! I'm sorry! 294 00:13:55,731 --> 00:13:57,664 I was just checking to see if you were on duty. 295 00:13:57,664 --> 00:14:00,943 - Ooh, girl, I thought you were that Annabelle doll! 296 00:14:00,943 --> 00:14:03,359 [sighs] Yeah, I'm on duty. 297 00:14:03,359 --> 00:14:06,466 [laughs] And I am happy to take you! 298 00:14:06,466 --> 00:14:08,433 [laughs] Just so you know, 299 00:14:08,433 --> 00:14:10,677 I almost lost my license last week, 300 00:14:10,677 --> 00:14:12,437 but for nothin' serious. Huh! 301 00:14:12,437 --> 00:14:15,199 Judge used all this legal jargon. 302 00:14:15,199 --> 00:14:17,649 You know, like "vehicular manslaughter" 303 00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,789 or something like that, I don't know. 304 00:14:19,789 --> 00:14:21,791 Anyway, where you goin'? - The...Tuck'd Inn? 305 00:14:21,791 --> 00:14:23,724 - Oh, I love that little hole in the wall. 306 00:14:23,724 --> 00:14:25,899 - Oh, yeah, yeah, the pictures online looked really quaint. 307 00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:29,351 - No, there's literally a hole in the wall. 308 00:14:29,351 --> 00:14:31,249 Tried parallel parking? 309 00:14:31,249 --> 00:14:33,942 Hmph, backed right into the lobby. 310 00:14:33,942 --> 00:14:35,598 [laughs] Buckle up! 311 00:14:39,499 --> 00:14:41,708 - Oh, your name is Bea Eep, like a car? 312 00:14:41,708 --> 00:14:44,884 - Nah, bitch, like a-- - [honks horn twice] 313 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:45,988 - BEA EEP: Woo! 314 00:14:45,988 --> 00:14:48,197 - [loud crashing, clanking] 315 00:14:48,197 --> 00:14:50,027 - BEA EEP: Hold on. I know a shortcut. 316 00:14:55,066 --> 00:14:58,345 - MICHELLE: After many misturns and the cab breaking down, 317 00:14:58,345 --> 00:15:02,384 the two pulled up at dawn to a seedy edge of town. 318 00:15:02,384 --> 00:15:04,662 - [engine running] 319 00:15:07,561 --> 00:15:09,011 - [tires screeching] - [loud crash] 320 00:15:09,011 --> 00:15:11,324 - [car horn honks] - BEA EEP: Who said my name? 321 00:15:11,324 --> 00:15:13,740 - [Bea Eep's car drives off] 322 00:15:20,436 --> 00:15:23,853 - Not from around here, are you? 323 00:15:23,853 --> 00:15:25,303 - [wind gusting] 324 00:15:25,303 --> 00:15:28,237 - Oh, uh, do you work here? 325 00:15:28,237 --> 00:15:33,139 - If by "here" you mean this alley, then yeah, I work here. 326 00:15:33,139 --> 00:15:35,175 - Oh, so you--you do construction? 327 00:15:35,175 --> 00:15:36,866 - If by "construction" you mean 328 00:15:36,866 --> 00:15:39,317 handling heavy pipes with my hands, 329 00:15:39,317 --> 00:15:41,699 then yeah, I do construction. 330 00:15:41,699 --> 00:15:44,978 - Oh, so you're a...plumber? 331 00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:46,773 - If by "plumber" you mean 332 00:15:46,773 --> 00:15:49,431 sucking massive clogs out of people's holes, 333 00:15:49,431 --> 00:15:53,331 then yeah, I'm a plumber. 334 00:15:53,331 --> 00:15:55,092 - Oh, you're a whore. 335 00:15:55,092 --> 00:15:56,990 - Ooh, yeah, that's me! 336 00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,682 The name's Kitti. 337 00:15:59,682 --> 00:16:01,477 Allow me. 338 00:16:01,477 --> 00:16:05,067 - [slow jazz music] 339 00:16:05,067 --> 00:16:08,277 - Oh, follow me, please. 340 00:16:08,277 --> 00:16:09,589 Excuse me. 341 00:16:09,589 --> 00:16:11,936 Time for my morning cold potato offer. 342 00:16:11,936 --> 00:16:14,007 Boys! Good news! 343 00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:17,907 Just got back from the clinic clean as a whistle... 344 00:16:17,907 --> 00:16:19,564 that was just in someone's ass. 345 00:16:19,564 --> 00:16:23,534 [laughs] Come! We drink. 346 00:16:23,534 --> 00:16:25,501 - Oh, look at you! 347 00:16:25,501 --> 00:16:27,848 - [excited chatter] 348 00:16:27,848 --> 00:16:31,093 - [slow jazz music continues] 349 00:16:40,378 --> 00:16:41,931 - [dings bell] 350 00:16:45,383 --> 00:16:47,006 - Hello? 351 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:52,563 - [laughter, chatter in background] 352 00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:57,499 - [rumbling, crash] 353 00:16:57,499 --> 00:17:00,191 - Woo! Oh! Hiya, gal pal. 354 00:17:00,191 --> 00:17:02,366 You checkin' in? - Are you okay? 355 00:17:02,366 --> 00:17:03,884 What--what were you doing up there? 356 00:17:03,884 --> 00:17:08,165 - Oh! I thought it'd be neat to install a fire pole. 357 00:17:08,165 --> 00:17:10,650 Turns out I forgot the pole. 358 00:17:10,650 --> 00:17:12,824 But there is a fire up there. 359 00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:14,826 Oh, I'll get to it later. 360 00:17:16,449 --> 00:17:19,486 Hazel Delashes. I run the inn-- 361 00:17:19,486 --> 00:17:22,593 well, when it isn't running away from me. 362 00:17:22,593 --> 00:17:25,216 - I have a reservation under Zeen. 363 00:17:25,216 --> 00:17:26,976 First name, Maggie. 364 00:17:26,976 --> 00:17:28,875 - Maggie...Zeen? 365 00:17:28,875 --> 00:17:31,809 Well, like a magazine? [gasps] 366 00:17:31,809 --> 00:17:34,467 You're not one of those reporters from the big city, 367 00:17:34,467 --> 00:17:36,020 are ya? 368 00:17:37,470 --> 00:17:39,127 - No, of course not! 369 00:17:39,127 --> 00:17:42,026 No, I'm a... 370 00:17:42,026 --> 00:17:44,304 jar... 371 00:17:44,304 --> 00:17:47,342 nail... 372 00:17:47,342 --> 00:17:49,378 ...list. 373 00:17:49,378 --> 00:17:51,967 - A journalist? 374 00:17:51,967 --> 00:17:53,900 - Shit ! 375 00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:57,593 - Like somebody who makes journals? 376 00:17:57,593 --> 00:17:59,940 - Yes! That! Oh, yeah! 377 00:17:59,940 --> 00:18:03,634 - Why didn't you say so in the first place, girly? 378 00:18:03,634 --> 00:18:06,947 Journals are one of my top five favorite things. 379 00:18:06,947 --> 00:18:09,536 Let me show you to your room. 380 00:18:09,536 --> 00:18:11,952 - [keys jingling] 381 00:18:11,952 --> 00:18:13,575 - It's one of these. Come on. 382 00:18:16,474 --> 00:18:17,993 - HAZEL: Oh, son of a bisque! 383 00:18:19,408 --> 00:18:20,996 [sighs] 384 00:18:20,996 --> 00:18:22,411 - [creepy music] 385 00:18:22,411 --> 00:18:25,104 - [gasps] Ooh! 386 00:18:31,317 --> 00:18:33,146 It's musty. 387 00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:35,631 - Mm, that's just me. 388 00:18:36,632 --> 00:18:37,737 - [loud squish] 389 00:18:37,737 --> 00:18:40,464 - Oh! Why is the mattress wet? 390 00:18:40,464 --> 00:18:43,018 - Didn't ya ask for the pirate theme? 391 00:18:43,018 --> 00:18:46,159 Arrgh! [laughs] 392 00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:47,954 It's probably pee. 393 00:18:47,954 --> 00:18:49,645 For pirate? 394 00:18:53,304 --> 00:18:55,548 - [stately music] 395 00:18:55,548 --> 00:18:59,517 - [laughter] 396 00:18:59,517 --> 00:19:01,692 - I thought so. Oh! 397 00:19:01,692 --> 00:19:03,211 - Ladies. - [clinks glass] 398 00:19:03,211 --> 00:19:06,041 - [indistinct chatter] 399 00:19:06,041 --> 00:19:07,767 - Ladies! - [glass shatters] 400 00:19:09,424 --> 00:19:11,184 - [rest of glass shatters] - Thank you all for coming 401 00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:13,738 to the Kittenheel Court Announcement Club, 402 00:19:13,738 --> 00:19:17,190 and for adhering to this month's theme: big hats. 403 00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,296 Remember, next month is little gloves, 404 00:19:19,296 --> 00:19:21,125 as suggested by Bernice. 405 00:19:21,125 --> 00:19:22,644 - [giggling] 406 00:19:22,644 --> 00:19:25,302 - Good suggestion. - Thank you, Bernice. 407 00:19:26,510 --> 00:19:28,615 Our first announcement, as you all know, 408 00:19:28,615 --> 00:19:30,893 is that tomorrow is the Winter Ball. 409 00:19:30,893 --> 00:19:33,137 I hope you all are well rested. 410 00:19:33,137 --> 00:19:35,519 - With the twins running around, fat chance. 411 00:19:35,519 --> 00:19:37,831 - [laughter] 412 00:19:37,831 --> 00:19:39,661 - That's funny, Lanette. 413 00:19:39,661 --> 00:19:42,042 Do you think this is something to laugh about? 414 00:19:42,042 --> 00:19:45,114 - It's just a joke. - Oh, I'm sorry. 415 00:19:45,114 --> 00:19:46,909 I didn't realize I had front-row tickets to 416 00:19:46,909 --> 00:19:49,533 "Lanette: Live at the Giggle Factory." 417 00:19:49,533 --> 00:19:51,811 Please, tell another joke. 418 00:19:51,811 --> 00:19:53,606 - I don't have another joke. 419 00:19:53,606 --> 00:19:55,573 - Well, then what are you good for? 420 00:19:55,573 --> 00:19:58,507 Get out. And take your ugly hat with you. 421 00:19:58,507 --> 00:19:59,715 - [gasping] 422 00:20:01,165 --> 00:20:04,375 You look like a bargain bin Pippa Middleton. 423 00:20:04,375 --> 00:20:05,721 See you tomorrow, hon. 424 00:20:05,721 --> 00:20:06,860 - I think she went too far... 425 00:20:06,860 --> 00:20:09,553 - Now, where were we? Oh, I remember. 426 00:20:09,553 --> 00:20:11,313 Oh, Bertram! 427 00:20:11,313 --> 00:20:13,039 - [wheels clanking] 428 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,906 - You all have met my husband, Bertram, 429 00:20:17,906 --> 00:20:20,771 the very rich owner of the local bank. 430 00:20:20,771 --> 00:20:23,981 And I couldn't be luckier to have found such a generous, 431 00:20:23,981 --> 00:20:27,778 open, and understanding prenup as ours. 432 00:20:27,778 --> 00:20:29,400 Isn't that right, Bertram? 433 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,746 - Aww! - Aww! 434 00:20:30,746 --> 00:20:33,508 - Bertram, stop. Not in front of everyone! 435 00:20:33,508 --> 00:20:34,578 Lights. 436 00:20:34,578 --> 00:20:36,200 - [laughter] 437 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,582 - [indistinct chatter] 438 00:20:38,582 --> 00:20:40,722 - Christmas Eve marks yet another year 439 00:20:40,722 --> 00:20:44,795 where Kittenheel Court takes home the crown. 440 00:20:44,795 --> 00:20:47,073 But I'd also like to announce that it will commence 441 00:20:47,073 --> 00:20:50,387 of the grand remodeling of downtown Tuckahoe! 442 00:20:50,387 --> 00:20:52,734 - [gasping, exclaiming] 443 00:20:52,734 --> 00:20:55,633 - With Bertram's help, we ladies of Kittenheel Court 444 00:20:55,633 --> 00:20:59,430 are going to turn this... 445 00:20:59,430 --> 00:21:02,537 into this. 446 00:21:02,537 --> 00:21:04,815 - [exclaiming] 447 00:21:04,815 --> 00:21:07,645 - No more hookers or wild dogs, 448 00:21:07,645 --> 00:21:10,821 or that bedbug-infested Tuck'd Inn. 449 00:21:10,821 --> 00:21:14,756 Now we'll have what we always dreamed of... 450 00:21:14,756 --> 00:21:16,689 the largest Cardigan Super Outlet 451 00:21:16,689 --> 00:21:18,449 in the tristate area! 452 00:21:18,449 --> 00:21:19,726 - [cheering, laughing] 453 00:21:23,351 --> 00:21:24,766 - Oh, crap! 454 00:21:24,766 --> 00:21:25,836 - MICHELLE: As Olivia walked through the bar 455 00:21:25,836 --> 00:21:27,700 in her cocktail skirt, 456 00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:31,151 she chatted up Hazel to dig up some dirt. 457 00:21:31,151 --> 00:21:34,396 - [surfer version of "It Came upon a Midnight Clear"] 458 00:21:34,396 --> 00:21:36,398 - I'll take a Manhattan. 459 00:21:36,398 --> 00:21:40,368 - You mean like that city where some people are from? 460 00:21:40,368 --> 00:21:43,819 - I mean a...cosmopolitan. 461 00:21:43,819 --> 00:21:48,445 - You mean like the people that are from that city? 462 00:21:48,445 --> 00:21:49,998 - I'll take a water! 463 00:21:53,691 --> 00:21:55,210 - Water, huh? 464 00:21:56,418 --> 00:21:57,937 Love that stuff. 465 00:21:57,937 --> 00:21:59,801 - I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were there. 466 00:21:59,801 --> 00:22:01,527 - No one ever does. 467 00:22:01,527 --> 00:22:05,393 I was actually diagnosed with chronic no personality disorder. 468 00:22:05,393 --> 00:22:10,087 No interests, no talents, no original ideas. 469 00:22:10,087 --> 00:22:13,504 Kind of like a background character in my own life. 470 00:22:13,504 --> 00:22:16,127 - Well, what do you want to do with your life? 471 00:22:16,127 --> 00:22:19,199 - Become an international pop star. 472 00:22:19,199 --> 00:22:21,029 I'm Jane McBeige. 473 00:22:21,029 --> 00:22:22,789 I deliver all the mail here in town. 474 00:22:22,789 --> 00:22:25,205 Well, until my big break. 475 00:22:25,205 --> 00:22:29,417 - Maggie. Say... 476 00:22:29,417 --> 00:22:34,629 if you deliver the mail, you must've heard about some 477 00:22:34,629 --> 00:22:36,182 scandals, corruption? 478 00:22:36,182 --> 00:22:38,080 Maybe where a certain crown is being kept? 479 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:39,875 - [laughs] Doll, that crown 480 00:22:39,875 --> 00:22:42,637 is locked up tighter than my ex-husband. 481 00:22:42,637 --> 00:22:46,468 The only way of getting your hands on it is by winning it. 482 00:22:46,468 --> 00:22:50,127 - Oh, by the way, Hazel, you got another letter from the bank. 483 00:22:50,127 --> 00:22:52,301 - Well, it's probably about that loan. 484 00:22:52,301 --> 00:22:53,993 [chuckles] 485 00:22:54,959 --> 00:23:00,068 Oh no! Oh no, no, no! 486 00:23:00,068 --> 00:23:04,106 - What is it, Hazel? - It's an eviction notice. 487 00:23:04,106 --> 00:23:09,077 It says they're gonna tear down the inn on Christmas Eve! 488 00:23:09,077 --> 00:23:11,942 - What? They can't do that! 489 00:23:11,942 --> 00:23:13,840 This is where I get all my work. 490 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,050 - I'm so behind on the loan they're gonna... 491 00:23:17,050 --> 00:23:20,640 they're gonna bulldoze the inn in five days! 492 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:22,090 - [customers exclaiming] 493 00:23:22,090 --> 00:23:24,333 - I guess that's just how banks work. 494 00:23:24,333 --> 00:23:25,921 - Oh, come on! 495 00:23:25,921 --> 00:23:28,027 There's got to be something we can do! 496 00:23:28,027 --> 00:23:30,029 - MICHELLE: But as Olivia sat there 497 00:23:30,029 --> 00:23:32,480 next to the Broads of Downtown, 498 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:37,899 she had an idea, a way to get close to the crown. 499 00:23:37,899 --> 00:23:40,384 - What if you entered the Winter Ball? 500 00:23:40,384 --> 00:23:43,352 - Huh? - What? 501 00:23:43,352 --> 00:23:45,458 - [laughter] 502 00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:46,839 - No-- - Very funny. 503 00:23:46,839 --> 00:23:48,530 - Think about it. 504 00:23:48,530 --> 00:23:51,326 If you won the crown, the downtown would be named 505 00:23:51,326 --> 00:23:54,433 the most Christmassy street in Tuckahoe. 506 00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:57,297 There's no way the mayor would tear it down then. 507 00:23:57,297 --> 00:24:02,717 - [stutters] But how are we gonna beat Kittenheel Court? 508 00:24:02,717 --> 00:24:04,857 - You know what? 509 00:24:04,857 --> 00:24:05,858 - [exclaiming] 510 00:24:05,858 --> 00:24:08,412 - Oh my goodness. 511 00:24:08,412 --> 00:24:12,520 - I may just be a girl named Maggie who makes journals. 512 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:13,969 But I can feel it. 513 00:24:13,969 --> 00:24:15,971 There is magic in this inn. 514 00:24:15,971 --> 00:24:16,972 - [creaking] 515 00:24:16,972 --> 00:24:20,562 - [loud crash] 516 00:24:20,562 --> 00:24:27,431 - ♪ 517 00:24:27,431 --> 00:24:29,916 - We need a leader if we are going to compete. 518 00:24:29,916 --> 00:24:34,680 And who is going to lead a bunch of busted-ass broads like us? 519 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:36,889 - [indistinct chatter] 520 00:24:36,889 --> 00:24:40,099 - I'll do it! - You? 521 00:24:40,099 --> 00:24:41,859 - OLIVIA: Yeah, that's right! 522 00:24:41,859 --> 00:24:44,310 Tomorrow I'm gonna be in the square 523 00:24:44,310 --> 00:24:48,866 repping the Broads of Downtown. 524 00:24:48,866 --> 00:24:52,007 Who's with me? 525 00:24:52,007 --> 00:24:54,147 - Oh, like I'm gonna let anybody else 526 00:24:54,147 --> 00:24:56,529 destroy this place before me. 527 00:24:56,529 --> 00:24:57,703 - [laughter] 528 00:24:57,703 --> 00:24:58,842 - And like I'm gonna let them 529 00:24:58,842 --> 00:25:01,810 demolish the last gloryhole in town? 530 00:25:01,810 --> 00:25:03,294 - Like I'm gonna let you gals 531 00:25:03,294 --> 00:25:06,539 put your hands in a pileup without me. 532 00:25:06,539 --> 00:25:10,370 - Oh, if we're gonna compete, we need one more person. 533 00:25:10,370 --> 00:25:11,302 - I'll do it. 534 00:25:11,302 --> 00:25:13,512 - Any takers? Come on, ladies. 535 00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:15,410 - I'll do it. 536 00:25:15,410 --> 00:25:18,240 - Is there anybody around here? - I don't think there's-- 537 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:19,828 - Hey, what about you, Jane? 538 00:25:19,828 --> 00:25:21,554 - Oh! - Oh! 539 00:25:21,554 --> 00:25:24,488 - I'll do it! 540 00:25:24,488 --> 00:25:25,869 - Then it's settled. 541 00:25:25,869 --> 00:25:28,872 We'll win the crown and save the inn! 542 00:25:28,872 --> 00:25:31,219 - [cheering] 543 00:25:31,219 --> 00:25:32,669 - Very exciting. Very exciting. 544 00:25:32,669 --> 00:25:37,190 - But first we need to do something about...this. 545 00:25:37,190 --> 00:25:38,813 - What? I put on deodorant today. 546 00:25:38,813 --> 00:25:40,711 - [indignant chatter] 547 00:25:40,711 --> 00:25:41,816 - [clanking sound] 548 00:25:41,816 --> 00:25:44,025 - You hear that, ladies? 549 00:25:44,025 --> 00:25:47,856 That's the sound of a makeover montage! 550 00:25:47,856 --> 00:25:50,376 - No, that's actually just the sound of a couple of rats 551 00:25:50,376 --> 00:25:52,896 sucking each other off in a radiator. 552 00:25:52,896 --> 00:25:54,345 - [clanking] - Oh. 553 00:25:54,345 --> 00:25:58,557 - ["Sissy That Walk" plays] 554 00:26:06,703 --> 00:26:08,739 - Oh! Oh! 555 00:26:08,739 --> 00:26:10,638 - [exclaiming] 556 00:26:14,158 --> 00:26:16,264 - Careful, she left a snail trail all over the bar. 557 00:26:16,264 --> 00:26:18,749 - That's it! - Oh, you like that? 558 00:26:18,749 --> 00:26:20,026 - Yeah, I like the hands. 559 00:26:20,026 --> 00:26:22,304 - ♪ Now sissy that walk 560 00:26:22,304 --> 00:26:23,754 - Oh! 561 00:26:23,754 --> 00:26:25,860 - ♪ Now sissy that walk 562 00:26:25,860 --> 00:26:27,309 - [gasps] 563 00:26:27,309 --> 00:26:36,836 - ♪ 564 00:26:36,836 --> 00:26:39,494 ♪ Uh oh-- now sissy that walk... ♪ 565 00:26:39,494 --> 00:26:41,738 - [gasp] Yes! 566 00:26:41,738 --> 00:26:43,463 - How do we look? 567 00:26:43,463 --> 00:26:44,706 - Like winners. 568 00:26:47,019 --> 00:26:48,814 - MALE ANNOUNCER: Live from downtown Tuckahoe, 569 00:26:48,814 --> 00:26:51,299 the Christ-missiest town in America, 570 00:26:51,299 --> 00:26:54,647 it's the Tuckahoe Annual Winter Ball! 571 00:26:54,647 --> 00:26:57,477 - Well, it is a beautiful winter evening here in Tuckahoe 572 00:26:57,477 --> 00:27:01,343 and the perfect night to kick off the annual Winter Ball. 573 00:27:01,343 --> 00:27:02,586 Isn't that right, Kreston Carsley? 574 00:27:02,586 --> 00:27:05,382 - Oh, it sure is, Matt Rothews! 575 00:27:05,382 --> 00:27:07,867 Even our wives joined us here tonight in the audience. 576 00:27:07,867 --> 00:27:09,938 - Oh, hi, hon! - Look at her. 577 00:27:09,938 --> 00:27:12,147 - Oh, your wife looks cute. - Thanks, I did her hair. 578 00:27:12,147 --> 00:27:13,735 - Oh, I love it. Did she get a new bra? 579 00:27:13,735 --> 00:27:15,772 - Mm, I'm not sure, but I cannot wait to 580 00:27:15,772 --> 00:27:19,154 bend her over my desk later and mess that thing up. 581 00:27:19,154 --> 00:27:20,466 - Yup, that's hot. 582 00:27:20,466 --> 00:27:22,019 Alright, now, for the first competition, 583 00:27:22,019 --> 00:27:24,125 it's going to be the Holiday Runway. 584 00:27:24,125 --> 00:27:25,264 Isn't that right? - Yes! 585 00:27:25,264 --> 00:27:26,610 And for the Holiday Runway, 586 00:27:26,610 --> 00:27:28,923 each street will debut a series of unified looks 587 00:27:28,923 --> 00:27:31,028 for a chance to impress the mayor. 588 00:27:31,028 --> 00:27:32,996 Ooh, here she comes now. 589 00:27:32,996 --> 00:27:36,689 - [cheers and applause] 590 00:27:41,211 --> 00:27:44,801 - First up, L'Chaim Lane, serving us Hannakouture. 591 00:27:44,801 --> 00:27:46,250 - Hm, mazel. 592 00:27:46,250 --> 00:27:49,012 - [Jewish-style music plays] 593 00:27:49,012 --> 00:27:51,531 - [applause] 594 00:27:51,531 --> 00:28:00,471 - ♪ 595 00:28:01,127 --> 00:28:02,957 - Well, well, well. 596 00:28:02,957 --> 00:28:05,925 Looks like the downtown rats made it out of the sewer! 597 00:28:05,925 --> 00:28:07,202 - Bitch. 598 00:28:07,202 --> 00:28:09,032 - Oh! Your hair looks expensive. 599 00:28:09,032 --> 00:28:10,619 Who might you be? 600 00:28:10,619 --> 00:28:12,656 - I'm Maggie Zeen. 601 00:28:12,656 --> 00:28:16,591 And I just wanna say you better watch your back. 602 00:28:16,591 --> 00:28:17,696 'Cause this year, 603 00:28:17,696 --> 00:28:19,456 the competition's gonna get a little tougher. 604 00:28:19,456 --> 00:28:20,906 - Mm-hmm. 605 00:28:20,906 --> 00:28:24,219 - Tougher, yeah, if you took out the "e" and put the "r" 606 00:28:24,219 --> 00:28:27,982 between the "t" and the "o." 607 00:28:27,982 --> 00:28:30,398 - Troug? - Trug? 608 00:28:30,398 --> 00:28:32,227 - Truffaut? - Wait, no-- 609 00:28:32,227 --> 00:28:34,436 - It's trough, as in the thing 610 00:28:34,436 --> 00:28:37,612 you'll be eating out of 'cause you're pigs. 611 00:28:37,612 --> 00:28:42,272 - I'm so sorry, can you say it one more time, please? 612 00:28:42,272 --> 00:28:45,344 - I--I thought you just said that we were rats. 613 00:28:45,344 --> 00:28:48,243 - ON PA: Kittenheel Court to the stage, please. 614 00:28:48,243 --> 00:28:51,902 - Watch and learn, little rats. Squeak squeak. 615 00:28:54,008 --> 00:28:57,874 - And of course Kittenheel Court serving Nativity Scene Realness. 616 00:28:57,874 --> 00:28:59,703 - ♪ Joy to the world 617 00:28:59,703 --> 00:29:01,947 ♪ Joy to the world 618 00:29:01,947 --> 00:29:05,744 ♪ Let heaven and nature... 619 00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:07,297 - I like her shoes. 620 00:29:07,297 --> 00:29:11,508 - [hip-hop beat] 621 00:29:11,508 --> 00:29:14,614 - ♪ Joy the world, the Lord is come ♪ 622 00:29:14,614 --> 00:29:15,857 - Mary! 623 00:29:15,857 --> 00:29:19,067 - Are you there, God? It's me, your baby mama. 624 00:29:19,067 --> 00:29:20,551 - Very creative. 625 00:29:20,551 --> 00:29:23,969 - ♪ Joy 626 00:29:23,969 --> 00:29:26,212 ♪ Joy to the world ♪ 627 00:29:26,212 --> 00:29:28,490 - [cheers and applause] 628 00:29:28,490 --> 00:29:30,838 - Ooh, next up, I wasn't expecting this. 629 00:29:30,838 --> 00:29:32,149 - This is a real shocker. 630 00:29:32,149 --> 00:29:34,393 - It's the Broads of Downtown Tuckahoe 631 00:29:34,393 --> 00:29:37,016 giving us Santa's Werk Room. 632 00:29:37,016 --> 00:29:39,570 - Hm! - I don't know... 633 00:29:39,570 --> 00:29:43,816 - ♪ Come and taste my Christmas cookies ♪ 634 00:29:43,816 --> 00:29:49,684 ♪ From my lovin' oven 635 00:29:50,961 --> 00:29:52,031 ♪ Come and taste-- 636 00:29:52,031 --> 00:29:52,963 - [audience groans] - Oh! 637 00:29:54,482 --> 00:29:56,277 - Ow! 638 00:29:56,277 --> 00:29:58,210 - [screams] 639 00:29:58,210 --> 00:29:59,694 - That's gonna leave a mark ♪ 640 00:29:59,694 --> 00:30:02,248 - ♪ O-o-oven 641 00:30:05,734 --> 00:30:11,602 - [gasping] - [jeering, some applause] 642 00:30:13,673 --> 00:30:15,227 - A level of unprofessionalism... 643 00:30:15,227 --> 00:30:16,918 - Far too much. 644 00:30:16,918 --> 00:30:19,921 - [loud jeers, applause] 645 00:30:24,132 --> 00:30:26,341 - Mayor Coont, your final judgment? 646 00:30:26,341 --> 00:30:29,103 - Put that away! 647 00:30:29,103 --> 00:30:32,002 - Kittenheel Court is the winner! 648 00:30:32,002 --> 00:30:33,348 - [sighing] 649 00:30:33,348 --> 00:30:36,489 - [horn and drum fanfare] 650 00:30:43,393 --> 00:30:46,465 - I told you to lock it away. 651 00:30:46,465 --> 00:30:48,329 - BIG RUSS: Lock what away? 652 00:30:48,329 --> 00:30:49,882 - MAYOR COONT: The crown! - BIG RUSS: I did. 653 00:30:49,882 --> 00:30:53,058 It's in a secret location that no one knows about. 654 00:30:53,058 --> 00:30:54,611 - MAYOR COONT: And it's locked up? 655 00:30:54,611 --> 00:30:55,784 - BIG RUSS: I couldn't find the key, 656 00:30:55,784 --> 00:30:57,856 so I just put a really heavy book 657 00:30:57,856 --> 00:30:59,512 in front of the door. 658 00:30:59,512 --> 00:31:02,757 - MAYOR COONT: Russ, like I say every year, there's no key. 659 00:31:02,757 --> 00:31:03,931 It's a code. 660 00:31:03,931 --> 00:31:06,865 - BIG RUSS: Mm, that explains the keypad. 661 00:31:06,865 --> 00:31:08,418 So, uh, what was the code? 662 00:31:08,418 --> 00:31:11,248 - Oh, I told you the code! 663 00:31:11,248 --> 00:31:14,320 It's 80085-- 664 00:31:19,118 --> 00:31:21,741 - [struggling] 665 00:31:21,741 --> 00:31:24,468 - Oh! - Oh! 666 00:31:24,468 --> 00:31:25,953 - Careful there, Coffee Girl. 667 00:31:25,953 --> 00:31:29,301 - Oh. Hey...Coffee Guy. 668 00:31:29,301 --> 00:31:31,544 - BOTH: [laughing] 669 00:31:31,544 --> 00:31:33,029 - Yeah, will that be cream or sugar? 670 00:31:33,029 --> 00:31:35,307 - Uh, oat milk, please, or else I'll shit my pants. 671 00:31:35,307 --> 00:31:37,654 - BOTH: [laughing] 672 00:31:38,586 --> 00:31:40,760 [laughing trails off awkwardly] 673 00:31:43,625 --> 00:31:45,800 - What were you doing back there? 674 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:49,700 - Oh, I wa--I was just climbing up to... 675 00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:53,497 get a better look at this big tree. 676 00:31:53,497 --> 00:31:57,225 Wow, we don't have those where I'm from. 677 00:31:57,225 --> 00:31:59,331 - And where is that? 678 00:31:59,331 --> 00:32:02,817 - The Gobi Desert. 679 00:32:02,817 --> 00:32:04,577 - Oh. 680 00:32:04,577 --> 00:32:06,303 Oh no, your tape recorder's all wet. 681 00:32:06,303 --> 00:32:07,995 - Oh. Oh... 682 00:32:09,375 --> 00:32:11,032 - Here. 683 00:32:11,032 --> 00:32:16,451 - [sultry music] 684 00:32:16,451 --> 00:32:18,350 - Thank you. 685 00:32:21,905 --> 00:32:25,115 - Look, I know you're some classy business lady 686 00:32:25,115 --> 00:32:28,394 and I'm just some security guard with a tragic backstory 687 00:32:28,394 --> 00:32:31,466 that's left me incredibly single, but... 688 00:32:31,466 --> 00:32:32,985 is there any chance that you might-- 689 00:32:32,985 --> 00:32:34,780 - [phone vibrates] - ["Kitty Girl" ringtone] 690 00:32:34,780 --> 00:32:37,714 - I'm sorry. I--I have to take this. 691 00:32:41,304 --> 00:32:43,651 - Hannah? - Do you have the crown? 692 00:32:46,171 --> 00:32:48,311 - I'm...working on it. 693 00:32:48,311 --> 00:32:50,106 - HANNAH: Well, what's the hold up? 694 00:32:50,106 --> 00:32:51,624 Olivia, I did not send you there 695 00:32:51,624 --> 00:32:55,628 to walk around with your thumb up your ass. 696 00:32:55,628 --> 00:32:59,529 Olivia, do I need to remind you how much you owe me? 697 00:32:59,529 --> 00:33:05,535 Darling, I was there for you when nobody else was. 698 00:33:05,535 --> 00:33:08,262 Olivia, if you drop one more call, 699 00:33:08,262 --> 00:33:12,162 you're going back out on the street where I found you. 700 00:33:12,162 --> 00:33:14,613 - Yes, Hannah. 701 00:33:17,236 --> 00:33:18,858 - HANNAH: Let me tell you something. 702 00:33:18,858 --> 00:33:21,827 You're lucky I found you on that stoop. 703 00:33:21,827 --> 00:33:24,485 I risked my career for you, so you better repay me-- 704 00:33:24,485 --> 00:33:28,454 - I will. I will get it, Hannah. 705 00:33:28,454 --> 00:33:30,732 - HANNAH: That's a good girl. 706 00:33:32,596 --> 00:33:34,253 - MICHELLE: After a series of losses, 707 00:33:34,253 --> 00:33:38,395 the broads were losing faith. Holed up in the bar-- 708 00:33:38,395 --> 00:33:40,018 - [banging on door] 709 00:33:40,018 --> 00:33:45,747 - Who the hell? - Hi! What's up, bitch? 710 00:33:45,747 --> 00:33:47,818 - Kim Petras, what are you doing here? 711 00:33:47,818 --> 00:33:50,649 - ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of-- ♪ 712 00:33:50,649 --> 00:33:51,926 - No, hold up, uh-uh. 713 00:33:51,926 --> 00:33:53,479 You can't just come into people's houses 714 00:33:53,479 --> 00:33:54,756 and start singing. 715 00:33:54,756 --> 00:33:56,413 I am in the middle of something, so... 716 00:33:56,413 --> 00:33:58,105 - KIM: Oh, okay. 717 00:33:58,105 --> 00:34:00,452 - [fire crackling] 718 00:34:00,452 --> 00:34:01,901 - Right. - Okay. 719 00:34:01,901 --> 00:34:05,836 - Now, where were we? Ah, right. 720 00:34:05,836 --> 00:34:09,461 The broads were just thinking maybe they should just give up. 721 00:34:09,461 --> 00:34:12,119 - [sad piano music] 722 00:34:12,119 --> 00:34:15,743 - You know, maybe we should just give up. 723 00:34:15,743 --> 00:34:18,608 - I'll never be a pop star after this. 724 00:34:18,608 --> 00:34:20,092 - No, we can't give up. 725 00:34:22,129 --> 00:34:24,545 I mean, did Katie Couric give up 726 00:34:24,545 --> 00:34:26,719 when her daytime talk show was canceled? 727 00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:28,238 - Who? 728 00:34:28,238 --> 00:34:30,689 - Did Rachel Maddow give up when--when everyone said 729 00:34:30,689 --> 00:34:33,140 she looked like a lesbian Andrew Garfield? 730 00:34:33,140 --> 00:34:37,730 - Yeah, but girl, even if we set our -- up 731 00:34:37,730 --> 00:34:42,149 to the Nth degree, we still ain't no Kittenheel Court. 732 00:34:42,149 --> 00:34:44,461 - Maybe that's the problem. 733 00:34:44,461 --> 00:34:46,912 We're trying to be Kittenheel Court. 734 00:34:51,158 --> 00:34:53,919 - Oh, Christ on a cracker, she's climbing on the furniture. 735 00:34:53,919 --> 00:34:56,680 - Who are these Kittenheel Court ladies anyway, huh? 736 00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,787 Huh? They're rich. So? 737 00:34:59,787 --> 00:35:02,030 They're--they're--they're manicured. 738 00:35:02,030 --> 00:35:03,135 What else? 739 00:35:03,135 --> 00:35:04,895 - Oh, they also bleach their assholes . 740 00:35:04,895 --> 00:35:07,760 - Exactly! And guess what? 741 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,729 Our assholes aren't bleached. 742 00:35:10,729 --> 00:35:13,387 Ours are the color of shit! 743 00:35:13,387 --> 00:35:14,698 And you know why? 744 00:35:14,698 --> 00:35:16,907 - Because that's where shit comes out of? 745 00:35:16,907 --> 00:35:20,635 - Yes, Jane! That is where shit comes out of! 746 00:35:20,635 --> 00:35:23,121 - I like where this is going. 747 00:35:23,121 --> 00:35:26,952 - The Broads are gross. 748 00:35:26,952 --> 00:35:29,230 Hey? We're sluts! 749 00:35:29,230 --> 00:35:30,680 We're messes! 750 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,372 And we are proud of it. 751 00:35:33,372 --> 00:35:37,583 We've just gotta take our nasty shit 752 00:35:37,583 --> 00:35:40,517 and shove it in their faces. 753 00:35:40,517 --> 00:35:42,968 - What if I usually charge for that? 754 00:35:42,968 --> 00:35:48,801 - We just have to show this town why we are special. 755 00:35:48,801 --> 00:35:52,598 - But--but the Carol Showdown is tomorrow night! 756 00:35:52,598 --> 00:35:55,153 What are we supposed to do? 757 00:35:55,153 --> 00:36:00,503 - Uh...come on, ladies. I've got a plan. 758 00:36:00,503 --> 00:36:01,642 - Is it topless? 759 00:36:03,506 --> 00:36:05,922 - [applause] 760 00:36:05,922 --> 00:36:07,648 - And for those of you just joining us, 761 00:36:07,648 --> 00:36:10,098 tonight is the ultimate Carol Showdown. 762 00:36:10,098 --> 00:36:12,549 - Yes, and the rules are very simple. 763 00:36:12,549 --> 00:36:14,551 Two teams are forced to go head to head 764 00:36:14,551 --> 00:36:17,623 in a high-stakes carol sing-off. 765 00:36:17,623 --> 00:36:21,869 - ♪ Joy to the world, the Lord has come ♪ 766 00:36:21,869 --> 00:36:25,321 ♪ Let earth receive her king 767 00:36:25,321 --> 00:36:26,805 - ♪ Her king 768 00:36:26,805 --> 00:36:29,497 - ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪ 769 00:36:29,497 --> 00:36:31,775 ♪ Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 770 00:36:31,775 --> 00:36:34,364 ♪ Don we now our gay apparel 771 00:36:34,364 --> 00:36:37,091 - We better back up, Matt. We're in the splash zone. 772 00:36:37,091 --> 00:36:39,058 - ♪ Spread your legs and grab your ankles ♪ 773 00:36:39,058 --> 00:36:41,544 ♪ Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 774 00:36:41,544 --> 00:36:44,926 - ♪ Away in a manger 775 00:36:44,926 --> 00:36:48,689 ♪ No crib for a bed 776 00:36:48,689 --> 00:36:52,520 ♪ The little Lord Jesus 777 00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:55,972 ♪ Lay down his sweet head 778 00:36:55,972 --> 00:36:58,388 - ♪ Just rail me, merry gentlemen ♪ 779 00:36:58,388 --> 00:37:00,735 ♪ And let me ride that thing 780 00:37:00,735 --> 00:37:02,979 - ♪ I'll grind on top and I won't stop ♪ 781 00:37:02,979 --> 00:37:05,775 ♪ Until my bussy sings 782 00:37:05,775 --> 00:37:07,155 - What's a bussy? 783 00:37:07,155 --> 00:37:08,640 - ["The 12 Days of Christmas" intro] 784 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:10,711 - Skip to the end! 785 00:37:12,022 --> 00:37:13,748 - ♪ On the 12th day of Christmas ♪ 786 00:37:13,748 --> 00:37:15,785 ♪ My true love gave to me 787 00:37:15,785 --> 00:37:16,958 - ♪ Twelve drummers drumming 788 00:37:16,958 --> 00:37:18,443 - ♪ Eleven vodka tampons 789 00:37:18,443 --> 00:37:19,582 - ♪ Ten lords a-leaping 790 00:37:19,582 --> 00:37:20,824 - ♪ Nine lines of cocaine 791 00:37:20,824 --> 00:37:21,963 - ♪ Eight maids a-milking 792 00:37:21,963 --> 00:37:23,344 - ♪ Seven hookers sucking 793 00:37:23,344 --> 00:37:24,759 - ♪ Six geese a-laying 794 00:37:24,759 --> 00:37:28,970 - ♪ Five gold cock rings 795 00:37:28,970 --> 00:37:30,282 - ♪ Four calling birds 796 00:37:30,282 --> 00:37:31,318 - ♪ Three big shits 797 00:37:31,318 --> 00:37:32,526 - ♪ Two turtledoves 798 00:37:32,526 --> 00:37:33,527 - ♪ And a-- 799 00:37:33,527 --> 00:37:36,944 - [bleeping] 800 00:37:36,944 --> 00:37:38,152 - Ooh! 801 00:37:38,152 --> 00:37:40,810 - [bleeping] 802 00:37:40,810 --> 00:37:44,331 - ♪ In an orgy ♪ 803 00:37:44,331 --> 00:37:45,918 - [silence] 804 00:37:47,989 --> 00:37:50,026 - [soft, indistinct chatter] 805 00:37:50,026 --> 00:37:52,718 - That was the most inappropriate, 806 00:37:52,718 --> 00:37:55,342 disgusting, puerile performance 807 00:37:55,342 --> 00:37:59,346 in the history of the ball! 808 00:37:59,346 --> 00:38:01,520 And I'm gagging for more! 809 00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:04,627 - [cheers and applause] 810 00:38:04,627 --> 00:38:07,181 - Oh! I might as well just call it now. 811 00:38:07,181 --> 00:38:11,599 The Broads win the entire carol battle! 812 00:38:11,599 --> 00:38:13,532 - [horn and drum fanfare] 813 00:38:13,532 --> 00:38:14,878 - Oh! 814 00:38:16,397 --> 00:38:17,916 - [jaunty piano intro] 815 00:38:17,916 --> 00:38:21,126 - Everybody! - Okay! 816 00:38:21,126 --> 00:38:23,542 Ladies, I think it's time to wrap it up. 817 00:38:23,542 --> 00:38:24,681 - Oh, no! 818 00:38:24,681 --> 00:38:26,269 - Yes, you guys! 819 00:38:26,269 --> 00:38:27,650 We have to practice. 820 00:38:27,650 --> 00:38:29,376 So get some rest for tomorrow, okay? 821 00:38:29,376 --> 00:38:30,584 - [groaning] 822 00:38:30,584 --> 00:38:32,689 - You too, Hazel. I'm gonna close up. 823 00:38:32,689 --> 00:38:35,520 - Mm, well, goodnight. - Goodnight. 824 00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:37,107 - Rest? I have to go to work now. 825 00:38:37,107 --> 00:38:40,490 - She should close up shop. - Come on, girls. 826 00:38:42,561 --> 00:38:45,668 - Oh, I'm sorry, we're closed. 827 00:38:45,668 --> 00:38:47,704 - So I guess I'm too late for a nightcap? 828 00:38:47,704 --> 00:38:50,466 - [lush, romantic music] 829 00:38:54,401 --> 00:38:56,264 - So what's a girl from the Gobi Desert doing 830 00:38:56,264 --> 00:38:57,783 in a town like this? 831 00:38:57,783 --> 00:38:59,337 - [fire crackling] 832 00:38:59,337 --> 00:39:01,511 - You have any... 833 00:39:01,511 --> 00:39:02,926 Gobi boyfriends? 834 00:39:02,926 --> 00:39:04,963 - Oh, no, no. 835 00:39:04,963 --> 00:39:06,378 I'm sort of married to my job. 836 00:39:06,378 --> 00:39:09,623 - [phone vibrates] - ["Kitty Girl" ringtone] 837 00:39:09,623 --> 00:39:11,556 - I feel that. 838 00:39:11,556 --> 00:39:15,629 I've also thrown myself into my job ever since... 839 00:39:15,629 --> 00:39:17,803 the accident. - [melodramatic music] 840 00:39:17,803 --> 00:39:20,047 - She was my wife. 841 00:39:20,047 --> 00:39:22,877 - Oh, we don't have to talk about this if you don't want to. 842 00:39:22,877 --> 00:39:26,743 - It was December. A day like any other. 843 00:39:26,743 --> 00:39:29,919 Except it was the day my wife died. 844 00:39:29,919 --> 00:39:32,818 There I was, watching her leave for her job 845 00:39:32,818 --> 00:39:35,511 as the town's clock tower technician. 846 00:39:35,511 --> 00:39:36,443 [laughs] 847 00:39:36,443 --> 00:39:38,341 - Aw! 848 00:39:38,341 --> 00:39:41,344 - She knew that clock inside and out. 849 00:39:41,344 --> 00:39:46,832 AM...and PM. 850 00:39:46,832 --> 00:39:49,939 It was supposed to be a routine maintenance job. 851 00:39:49,939 --> 00:39:52,113 Loosening of a bolt here. 852 00:39:52,113 --> 00:39:55,600 Straightening of a hand there. 853 00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:59,327 Just like every other inspection. 854 00:39:59,327 --> 00:40:01,295 Except it was the one that killed my wife. 855 00:40:01,295 --> 00:40:02,779 - Again, if this is too touchy for you-- 856 00:40:02,779 --> 00:40:04,609 - She was mangled. 857 00:40:04,609 --> 00:40:08,716 Sucked into the gears like a piece of saltwater taffy. 858 00:40:08,716 --> 00:40:11,409 Her bones crushed by the pendulum. 859 00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:14,066 Her head... 860 00:40:14,066 --> 00:40:18,312 popping open from the sheer force of the pulleys. 861 00:40:18,312 --> 00:40:22,247 You ever try wiping brain matter off a giant bell? 862 00:40:22,247 --> 00:40:23,628 - No, I haven't. 863 00:40:23,628 --> 00:40:26,907 - That's because your wife didn't die in a clocktower! 864 00:40:26,907 --> 00:40:30,013 - [bell chimes] 865 00:40:31,118 --> 00:40:33,672 - [melodramatic music continues] 866 00:40:33,672 --> 00:40:36,710 - She was so dead. 867 00:40:36,710 --> 00:40:40,541 Deader than print journalism. 868 00:40:40,541 --> 00:40:43,682 Her body so... 869 00:40:43,682 --> 00:40:47,859 mangled by the gears, so stiff with... 870 00:40:47,859 --> 00:40:51,138 rigor mortis. 871 00:40:51,138 --> 00:40:53,174 It was impossible to get out. 872 00:40:55,004 --> 00:40:58,697 So now every time I look up... 873 00:40:58,697 --> 00:41:01,286 I know the exact time she died. 874 00:41:01,286 --> 00:41:03,564 - [bell chimes] 875 00:41:07,603 --> 00:41:10,675 - Wow. 876 00:41:10,675 --> 00:41:14,195 I never told anyone that before. 877 00:41:14,195 --> 00:41:16,819 Except everyone in town who watched it happen. 878 00:41:16,819 --> 00:41:18,614 - Yeah. 879 00:41:18,614 --> 00:41:20,305 - You look just like her. - Oh-- 880 00:41:20,305 --> 00:41:22,376 - Would you ever consider wearing a blonde wig? 881 00:41:22,376 --> 00:41:23,550 - [creepy organ music] 882 00:41:23,550 --> 00:41:25,690 - Sorry. 883 00:41:25,690 --> 00:41:26,932 - Olivia, darling, 884 00:41:26,932 --> 00:41:29,832 why are you not answering my phone calls? 885 00:41:29,832 --> 00:41:31,972 Were you eaten by dogs or something? 886 00:41:31,972 --> 00:41:33,801 - VOICEMAIL ROBOT: Sorry, bitch. This mailbox is full. 887 00:41:33,801 --> 00:41:35,665 - It better not be. 888 00:41:35,665 --> 00:41:37,218 - VOICEMAIL ROBOT: Making room for more messages. 889 00:41:37,218 --> 00:41:39,876 You ain't gotta be all extra. - Good, thank you. 890 00:41:42,534 --> 00:41:46,296 Never send a reporter to do an editor's job. 891 00:41:48,195 --> 00:41:51,370 - [laughter] 892 00:41:51,370 --> 00:41:53,925 - What were we even laughing about? 893 00:41:53,925 --> 00:41:55,616 - Can't even remember! 894 00:41:58,481 --> 00:42:02,865 So, what about you? You have any family? 895 00:42:02,865 --> 00:42:04,936 - Oh, um... 896 00:42:04,936 --> 00:42:07,525 I don't really talk about my family that much. 897 00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:10,528 - Is that because they died in a clock tower? 898 00:42:10,528 --> 00:42:13,047 - No, uh... 899 00:42:13,047 --> 00:42:15,222 I just don't think they ever really wanted me. 900 00:42:18,536 --> 00:42:21,297 - Hey, um, what's that? 901 00:42:21,297 --> 00:42:25,059 - Oh, that's Mayor Coont 30 years ago. 902 00:42:25,059 --> 00:42:29,236 She was the best winter queen this town ever had. 903 00:42:29,236 --> 00:42:31,341 - Who's that standing behind her? 904 00:42:31,341 --> 00:42:34,103 - BIG RUSS: That's her sister, Marianne. 905 00:42:34,103 --> 00:42:35,725 She used to write for the local paper, 906 00:42:35,725 --> 00:42:39,004 but nobody ever read her articles. 907 00:42:39,004 --> 00:42:41,213 It's sad, really. 908 00:42:41,213 --> 00:42:44,492 She was always living in the Mayor's shadow. 909 00:42:44,492 --> 00:42:45,908 - Was? 910 00:42:45,908 --> 00:42:49,152 - [fire crackling] 911 00:42:49,152 --> 00:42:52,190 - Nobody ever knew what happened to her. 912 00:42:52,190 --> 00:42:53,225 - Oh. 913 00:42:53,225 --> 00:42:55,538 - She went missing on that very day. 914 00:42:58,645 --> 00:43:01,475 - [cheerful Christmas music] 915 00:43:02,545 --> 00:43:04,547 - Well, it's getting late. - Yeah. 916 00:43:08,240 --> 00:43:10,001 Hey. 917 00:43:11,105 --> 00:43:13,280 Maybe I could take you out for that coffee sometime. 918 00:43:15,144 --> 00:43:16,421 And don't worry. 919 00:43:16,421 --> 00:43:19,907 I won't talk about my dead wife. 920 00:43:19,907 --> 00:43:21,081 Too much. 921 00:43:21,081 --> 00:43:22,565 - BOTH: [laughing] 922 00:43:24,222 --> 00:43:26,086 - I'll think about it. 923 00:43:34,715 --> 00:43:36,786 - [sighs] 924 00:43:36,786 --> 00:43:38,581 - [glass shatters] - [cat meows] 925 00:43:38,581 --> 00:43:40,134 - BIG RUSS: Yeah, I'll just let myself out. 926 00:43:42,274 --> 00:43:43,759 - Three minutes left in the Tree Lighting Challenge, 927 00:43:43,759 --> 00:43:45,415 and this competition is heating up 928 00:43:45,415 --> 00:43:47,486 faster than my wife's undercarriage. 929 00:43:47,486 --> 00:43:51,318 - Mm, and trust me, that is pretty fast. 930 00:43:51,318 --> 00:43:54,632 - And how would you know that, Matt? 931 00:43:54,632 --> 00:43:56,047 - [horn honks twice] 932 00:44:01,155 --> 00:44:02,467 - Oh. - Oh. 933 00:44:02,467 --> 00:44:03,675 - Oh. - Oh! 934 00:44:03,675 --> 00:44:05,159 - Bea, that's our tree? 935 00:44:05,159 --> 00:44:06,505 - Yeah, and you might wanna grab it 936 00:44:06,505 --> 00:44:09,060 before the hospital realizes it's missing. 937 00:44:09,060 --> 00:44:11,890 Get it! - Uh, ladies? 938 00:44:11,890 --> 00:44:14,065 Look at Kittenheel Court. 939 00:44:14,065 --> 00:44:16,826 - Yoo-hoo! Get a load of this, girls! 940 00:44:16,826 --> 00:44:17,931 - [zapping] - [cackles] 941 00:44:17,931 --> 00:44:19,208 - [digital "Deck the Halls" plays] 942 00:44:19,208 --> 00:44:21,210 - [some exclaiming] 943 00:44:21,210 --> 00:44:23,005 - You know, I think we're going to need more lights. 944 00:44:23,005 --> 00:44:24,178 - Yeah. 945 00:44:24,178 --> 00:44:25,904 - [indistinct chatter] 946 00:44:25,904 --> 00:44:27,112 - I have an idea. 947 00:44:27,112 --> 00:44:31,427 - Oh, good. Where are you going? 948 00:44:31,427 --> 00:44:34,188 - MAYOR COONT: Bertram! We only have a few minutes. 949 00:44:34,188 --> 00:44:38,883 Mmmwah! Ah ha--oh! Oh, no! 950 00:44:38,883 --> 00:44:43,128 Ah, I feel so safe with you, Bertram. 951 00:44:43,128 --> 00:44:45,613 Oh, oh, oh... 952 00:44:45,613 --> 00:44:48,030 - BERTRAM: [grunts] 953 00:44:48,030 --> 00:44:52,275 - MAYOR COONT: [laughs] That's why I trusted you 954 00:44:52,275 --> 00:44:56,694 to keep the crown in your bank. Ooh, yeah! 955 00:44:56,694 --> 00:44:58,730 - BERTRAM: [growls] - MAYOR COONT: Shh, shh, shh! 956 00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:03,424 - Oh, ladies, that looks a lot better. 957 00:45:03,424 --> 00:45:05,081 It's like Rockefeller Center. 958 00:45:05,081 --> 00:45:06,669 - [laughter] 959 00:45:06,669 --> 00:45:09,154 - But you know, this tree's still missing a certain... 960 00:45:09,154 --> 00:45:10,949 je ne sais quoi. 961 00:45:10,949 --> 00:45:12,882 Oh, I know! 962 00:45:12,882 --> 00:45:15,851 We don't have a star for the top. 963 00:45:15,851 --> 00:45:18,060 - I have another idea. 964 00:45:18,060 --> 00:45:20,372 - Oh. 965 00:45:20,372 --> 00:45:22,858 - And now for the final judging. 966 00:45:22,858 --> 00:45:25,032 - [gong sounds] 967 00:45:25,032 --> 00:45:26,585 - [cheers and applause] 968 00:45:26,585 --> 00:45:29,692 - [horn version of "O Christmas Tree"] 969 00:45:29,692 --> 00:45:33,040 - [applause] 970 00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:35,629 - [gasps] Oh! 971 00:45:35,629 --> 00:45:37,217 [gasps] 972 00:45:37,217 --> 00:45:40,634 - [cheers and applause] 973 00:45:44,672 --> 00:45:46,364 - Get her, Jane. 974 00:45:46,364 --> 00:45:51,369 - [intro to Schubert's "Ave Maria" plays] 975 00:45:52,853 --> 00:45:58,756 - ♪ Ave Maria 976 00:46:01,897 --> 00:46:07,557 ♪ Gratia plena 977 00:46:07,557 --> 00:46:13,425 ♪ Maria something, something Latin ♪ 978 00:46:13,425 --> 00:46:18,258 ♪ Maria is a cool name 979 00:46:18,258 --> 00:46:23,021 ♪ Name, name ♪ 980 00:46:23,021 --> 00:46:26,438 - [cheers and applause] 981 00:46:26,438 --> 00:46:31,443 - [horn and drum fanfare] 982 00:46:35,068 --> 00:46:36,414 - We need to talk. 983 00:46:37,449 --> 00:46:40,176 - We are saving this inn! 984 00:46:40,176 --> 00:46:44,146 - [cheering] 985 00:46:44,146 --> 00:46:46,320 - Girls, tonight, for the rest of the night, 986 00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:48,357 all drinks are on me. 987 00:46:48,357 --> 00:46:51,187 - [cheering, laughter] 988 00:46:51,187 --> 00:46:53,672 - I got you, girl! I got you! 989 00:46:53,672 --> 00:46:58,608 - [surfer-style "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays] 990 00:47:00,024 --> 00:47:02,336 - So I was thinking about that coffee. 991 00:47:02,336 --> 00:47:07,721 - [phone vibrates] - ["Kitty Girl" ringtone] 992 00:47:07,721 --> 00:47:10,931 - Maggie's phone. This is Hazel speaking? 993 00:47:10,931 --> 00:47:13,658 - Who the hell is Maggie? 994 00:47:13,658 --> 00:47:15,453 - Hazel? Hazel, what are you doing? 995 00:47:15,453 --> 00:47:17,041 - Oh, I'm just talking to some woman 996 00:47:17,041 --> 00:47:18,766 that's trapped inside your phone. 997 00:47:18,766 --> 00:47:20,838 - I'm her boss. 998 00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:21,873 - Oh! - What? 999 00:47:21,873 --> 00:47:23,150 No, no, girls, look. 1000 00:47:23,150 --> 00:47:25,221 It's Maggie's boss from the journal factory! 1001 00:47:25,221 --> 00:47:29,156 - [exclaiming] 1002 00:47:29,156 --> 00:47:32,539 - Maggie's the best! 1003 00:47:32,539 --> 00:47:34,679 - Hannah, I'm just gonna go over that journal protoype. 1004 00:47:34,679 --> 00:47:38,131 [laughs nervously] It just--it has a gun in it. 1005 00:47:38,131 --> 00:47:41,237 - Oh, I love guns! 1006 00:47:41,237 --> 00:47:42,549 - HANNAH: Olivia, tell me, darling, 1007 00:47:42,549 --> 00:47:45,379 does my limo have a toilet in it? 1008 00:47:45,379 --> 00:47:46,587 - Not that I know of. 1009 00:47:46,587 --> 00:47:48,072 - Then why did you send me something 1010 00:47:48,072 --> 00:47:50,626 I could wipe my ass with? 1011 00:47:50,626 --> 00:47:52,904 - It's a new take on the exposé. 1012 00:47:52,904 --> 00:47:56,597 It's--it's strong women coming together against all odds. 1013 00:47:56,597 --> 00:47:59,497 - You were supposed to find me gossip. 1014 00:47:59,497 --> 00:48:03,328 You were supposed to find me that crown. 1015 00:48:03,328 --> 00:48:05,503 But, if you'd rather make friends with a bunch of 1016 00:48:05,503 --> 00:48:10,301 overgrown orangutans, then be my guest. 1017 00:48:10,301 --> 00:48:14,650 I guess that promotion is going up in flames. 1018 00:48:14,650 --> 00:48:17,411 I'm hanging up. - No, wait, wait, wait. 1019 00:48:17,411 --> 00:48:20,173 I know where the crown is hiding. 1020 00:48:20,173 --> 00:48:23,797 It's in a vault, locked in a bank. 1021 00:48:23,797 --> 00:48:25,557 And I have the code. 1022 00:48:25,557 --> 00:48:27,766 - How do you know that? - I eavesdropped on the mayor 1023 00:48:27,766 --> 00:48:30,010 having an affair with the banker. 1024 00:48:30,010 --> 00:48:31,667 - Well, well, well. 1025 00:48:31,667 --> 00:48:34,118 It looks like this town's grapevine 1026 00:48:34,118 --> 00:48:36,914 just got a whole lot juicier. 1027 00:48:36,914 --> 00:48:38,743 [chuckles] 1028 00:48:38,743 --> 00:48:42,436 I've changed my mind. Don't worry about the crown. 1029 00:48:42,436 --> 00:48:45,025 Focus on rewriting the exposé. 1030 00:48:45,025 --> 00:48:49,547 But I want something that grabs me by the labia 1031 00:48:49,547 --> 00:48:51,514 and makes me wanna listen. 1032 00:48:51,514 --> 00:48:56,036 Uh, uh, uh, cheating husbands, slutty mayors. 1033 00:48:56,036 --> 00:48:58,487 Those ugly friends of yours. 1034 00:48:58,487 --> 00:49:01,628 - The Broads? No, no, they're great. 1035 00:49:01,628 --> 00:49:03,733 They're--they're like the "Sex and the City" girls. 1036 00:49:03,733 --> 00:49:06,081 - Yeah, if the city were Chernobyl. 1037 00:49:07,323 --> 00:49:09,187 Hey, just curious. 1038 00:49:09,187 --> 00:49:12,570 What is the code to that crown vault? 1039 00:49:12,570 --> 00:49:15,814 - Oh, it--it's just 80085. Why? 1040 00:49:15,814 --> 00:49:16,884 - No reason. 1041 00:49:16,884 --> 00:49:19,887 Hey listen, I'm getting another call. 1042 00:49:19,887 --> 00:49:24,720 Just have that exposé in my email tomorrow morning... 1043 00:49:24,720 --> 00:49:30,070 and that promotion is yours. 1044 00:49:30,070 --> 00:49:31,106 - [sighs] 1045 00:49:32,590 --> 00:49:34,419 - You can come out now. 1046 00:49:36,939 --> 00:49:39,045 You're the private investigator I called. 1047 00:49:39,045 --> 00:49:42,117 - Mr. E at your service. 1048 00:49:42,117 --> 00:49:44,015 - Her name is Maggie Zeen. 1049 00:49:44,015 --> 00:49:46,673 Something about her doesn't sit right with me. 1050 00:49:46,673 --> 00:49:49,469 - So you think someone murdered her. 1051 00:49:49,469 --> 00:49:51,505 - What? No, she's alive. 1052 00:49:51,505 --> 00:49:55,199 - Lady, I specialize in homicide. 1053 00:49:55,199 --> 00:49:56,890 Dead girls, mostly. 1054 00:49:56,890 --> 00:50:00,825 I can find a dead girl in a quarry, or a stream, 1055 00:50:00,825 --> 00:50:05,795 or an oil drum floating down a cranberry bog. 1056 00:50:05,795 --> 00:50:07,901 - I just need you to look into her. 1057 00:50:07,901 --> 00:50:09,385 Dig around, find any-- 1058 00:50:09,385 --> 00:50:11,939 - Semen inside her? 1059 00:50:11,939 --> 00:50:13,458 - No. 1060 00:50:13,458 --> 00:50:17,186 She's at the Tuck'd Inn right now, as in not dead? 1061 00:50:17,186 --> 00:50:18,739 - She's dead. 1062 00:50:18,739 --> 00:50:20,776 - And she's with all these other women. 1063 00:50:20,776 --> 00:50:23,572 - Oh my, we're talking about a serial killer. 1064 00:50:23,572 --> 00:50:25,781 - None of them are dead. 1065 00:50:25,781 --> 00:50:30,786 - Dead girls at an inn. Got it. 1066 00:50:30,786 --> 00:50:32,339 Well, here's what I'm gonna do. 1067 00:50:32,339 --> 00:50:34,686 Go down there, shine my black light, 1068 00:50:34,686 --> 00:50:39,588 hopefully find enough semen to crack this case wide open. 1069 00:50:39,588 --> 00:50:43,833 - You can't just walk in there. You look like a detective. 1070 00:50:43,833 --> 00:50:47,423 - Oh yeah? What's that supposed to mean? 1071 00:50:47,423 --> 00:50:48,976 - You'll need a disguise, 1072 00:50:48,976 --> 00:50:52,221 something to blend in with these women. 1073 00:50:52,221 --> 00:50:54,982 - Lady, I'm a detective. 1074 00:50:54,982 --> 00:50:59,470 All I wear is a badge and an alcohol-soaked jacket 1075 00:50:59,470 --> 00:51:02,818 that screams my son died in a car wreck. 1076 00:51:02,818 --> 00:51:04,889 - I think I might have something. 1077 00:51:11,344 --> 00:51:12,655 - I just came home. 1078 00:51:15,865 --> 00:51:18,558 - MICHELLE: All night, Olivia typed, tangled up in her sheets, 1079 00:51:18,558 --> 00:51:22,389 with a focus on the Broads for her new smear piece. 1080 00:51:22,389 --> 00:51:26,221 - They were ugly, with no sense of style. 1081 00:51:26,221 --> 00:51:30,052 Did I mention they were really ugly? 1082 00:51:30,052 --> 00:51:32,572 Damn, I hate how good this is. 1083 00:51:32,572 --> 00:51:34,263 - [knocking at door] 1084 00:51:34,263 --> 00:51:36,576 - Uh... - Knock knock! 1085 00:51:36,576 --> 00:51:39,682 [laughs] Room service! 1086 00:51:39,682 --> 00:51:41,891 Did somebody order up the best friend special? 1087 00:51:41,891 --> 00:51:43,859 - Oh girls, I'm not really dressed! 1088 00:51:43,859 --> 00:51:47,034 - We wanted to find you before the Winter Feast today 1089 00:51:47,034 --> 00:51:48,553 and give you a little gift 1090 00:51:48,553 --> 00:51:50,969 for all the ways you've been helping us. 1091 00:51:50,969 --> 00:51:51,901 - [laughter] 1092 00:51:51,901 --> 00:51:53,972 - It's an-- - It's an ornament. 1093 00:51:53,972 --> 00:51:56,906 You know, a symbol of our friendship. 1094 00:51:56,906 --> 00:51:59,944 You know how we would never betray or lie to each other? 1095 00:51:59,944 --> 00:52:02,291 - And the glass represents how transparent 1096 00:52:02,291 --> 00:52:03,637 we've all been with each other. 1097 00:52:03,637 --> 00:52:05,052 - And it's broken to represent 1098 00:52:05,052 --> 00:52:07,434 how if one of us stabs the rest of us in the back, 1099 00:52:07,434 --> 00:52:10,851 it would just break our hearts into a million little pieces. 1100 00:52:10,851 --> 00:52:13,268 - [voice breaking] Just get out... 1101 00:52:13,268 --> 00:52:14,752 - Wha-- 1102 00:52:14,752 --> 00:52:18,065 - MICHELLE: In that moment, Olivia's blood ran cold. 1103 00:52:18,065 --> 00:52:20,378 Did they find out her secret? Only the-- 1104 00:52:20,378 --> 00:52:21,414 - [knocking at door] 1105 00:52:21,414 --> 00:52:23,657 - Okay, now who is that? 1106 00:52:23,657 --> 00:52:26,453 - [shrieks] - Charo! 1107 00:52:26,453 --> 00:52:28,593 - [speaks Spanish] 1108 00:52:28,593 --> 00:52:31,078 that we are in the same neighborhood! Woo! 1109 00:52:31,078 --> 00:52:33,702 - Charo, we don't live in the same neighborhood. 1110 00:52:33,702 --> 00:52:37,706 I am in a cabin in the middle of the goddamn mountains. 1111 00:52:37,706 --> 00:52:42,883 - [speaks Spanish] Please, please, please? 1112 00:52:42,883 --> 00:52:44,851 Mucho, mucho, mucho! Por favor? 1113 00:52:44,851 --> 00:52:46,266 - You want to sing me a song? 1114 00:52:46,266 --> 00:52:48,613 - Claro. ♪ Cuchi cuchi cuchi 1115 00:52:48,613 --> 00:52:50,132 - You know what I want? 1116 00:52:50,132 --> 00:52:53,446 I want people to call before they come and visit me. 1117 00:52:53,446 --> 00:52:55,241 But that's not gonna happen, is it? 1118 00:52:55,241 --> 00:52:56,552 - No, surprise. 1119 00:52:56,552 --> 00:52:58,865 - So, sientate. Sit next to Kim Petras. 1120 00:52:58,865 --> 00:53:00,798 And I'd like to wrap up this story, okay? 1121 00:53:00,798 --> 00:53:02,075 - Okay. - Okay. 1122 00:53:02,075 --> 00:53:03,041 - Okay. 1123 00:53:03,041 --> 00:53:04,319 - It's getting pretty good, yeah. 1124 00:53:04,319 --> 00:53:05,906 - Very good. - Yeah. 1125 00:53:05,906 --> 00:53:09,116 - Okay, now, where were we? 1126 00:53:09,116 --> 00:53:11,912 [gasps] Right. 1127 00:53:11,912 --> 00:53:15,985 - Did you really think you could fool us? 1128 00:53:15,985 --> 00:53:19,713 - Oh my god. How did you find out? 1129 00:53:19,713 --> 00:53:21,750 - What? That we disturbed Maggie Zeen 1130 00:53:21,750 --> 00:53:23,579 flicking the old Maggie bean? 1131 00:53:23,579 --> 00:53:25,857 - [laughter] 1132 00:53:25,857 --> 00:53:27,997 - You got it! You got me! [laughs] 1133 00:53:27,997 --> 00:53:30,207 - Come on, girls, let her whip up a bowl 1134 00:53:30,207 --> 00:53:32,174 of -- chili in piece. 1135 00:53:32,174 --> 00:53:33,658 - [laughter] 1136 00:53:33,658 --> 00:53:35,695 - And now you know why that mattress is so wet. 1137 00:53:35,695 --> 00:53:37,490 - [laughs nervously] 1138 00:53:37,490 --> 00:53:39,250 - Circular motions or mixed? 1139 00:53:39,250 --> 00:53:41,666 - HAZEL: Do you need a hand? 'Cause I watched some videos. 1140 00:53:45,152 --> 00:53:48,501 - BOTH: [laughing] 1141 00:53:48,501 --> 00:53:50,917 - What were we even laughing about? 1142 00:53:50,917 --> 00:53:52,505 - I literally can never remember. 1143 00:53:52,505 --> 00:53:54,714 - [laughs] 1144 00:53:54,714 --> 00:53:56,854 - Here, I got you something. 1145 00:53:56,854 --> 00:53:58,304 - Oh, good, another present. 1146 00:53:59,684 --> 00:54:03,412 Oh, oh, thank god. It's just some old newspaper. 1147 00:54:03,412 --> 00:54:05,414 - Oh, no, I just wrapped it in that. 1148 00:54:05,414 --> 00:54:08,624 It's actually an ornament that represents our relationship. 1149 00:54:08,624 --> 00:54:13,836 - Oh. I'll open it later. 1150 00:54:13,836 --> 00:54:16,253 Hey, what is this article? 1151 00:54:16,253 --> 00:54:17,357 - BIG RUSS: I don't know. 1152 00:54:17,357 --> 00:54:18,841 I found it in the mayor's office. 1153 00:54:18,841 --> 00:54:20,395 Now it's all dirty. 1154 00:54:20,395 --> 00:54:24,226 - [sultry jazz music] 1155 00:54:27,333 --> 00:54:28,541 - Um... 1156 00:54:28,541 --> 00:54:32,752 "The mayor's sister, Marianne..." 1157 00:54:32,752 --> 00:54:34,926 Hey, I thought their name was "Coont," not "Urcoont." 1158 00:54:34,926 --> 00:54:35,996 - It was. 1159 00:54:35,996 --> 00:54:37,929 The mayor changed it for the campaign. 1160 00:54:37,929 --> 00:54:39,862 Easier to say. [scoffs] 1161 00:54:39,862 --> 00:54:41,588 It's funny how some people think they can get ahead 1162 00:54:41,588 --> 00:54:43,590 just by changing their whole identity. 1163 00:54:47,698 --> 00:54:49,838 - Russ, there's something I have to tell you. 1164 00:54:49,838 --> 00:54:52,185 - Shhhh! 1165 00:54:54,601 --> 00:54:57,363 You don't even need to say it. 1166 00:54:57,363 --> 00:55:00,538 I'm falling in love with you too. 1167 00:55:00,538 --> 00:55:02,540 - Oh! 1168 00:55:02,540 --> 00:55:07,752 - And...I know it feels wrong to say in front of my dead wife-- 1169 00:55:07,752 --> 00:55:13,240 - [bell chimes] 1170 00:55:13,240 --> 00:55:15,657 - --but these last three days have opened my eyes 1171 00:55:15,657 --> 00:55:18,453 to what love looks like. 1172 00:55:18,453 --> 00:55:21,904 Real love, not dead wife love. 1173 00:55:21,904 --> 00:55:25,805 - Oh, Russ. I'm not who I say I am. 1174 00:55:25,805 --> 00:55:28,704 - [romantic music] 1175 00:55:28,704 --> 00:55:30,396 - What was that? 1176 00:55:30,396 --> 00:55:33,330 - Oh, um, I was just saying that I'm not Maggie. 1177 00:55:35,435 --> 00:55:38,058 - What were you saying? - I've been lying to you. 1178 00:55:40,475 --> 00:55:41,890 I'm an undercover reporter. 1179 00:55:44,133 --> 00:55:45,963 My name's Olivia St. LaPelle, and I-- 1180 00:55:47,896 --> 00:55:50,036 This isn't even my real hair. 1181 00:55:50,036 --> 00:55:53,177 - [romantic music continues] 1182 00:55:57,112 --> 00:55:59,908 - I have no idea what you just said. 1183 00:55:59,908 --> 00:56:04,222 All I know is that I love you, Maggie Zeen. 1184 00:56:04,222 --> 00:56:06,466 - I love you too! 1185 00:56:06,466 --> 00:56:11,368 - [romantic music swells] 1186 00:56:17,650 --> 00:56:21,205 - [jazzy music] 1187 00:56:23,103 --> 00:56:28,177 - Uh, hi. I would like a room, please. 1188 00:56:28,177 --> 00:56:33,390 Um, if possible, next to Maggie Zeen. 1189 00:56:33,390 --> 00:56:35,875 - This broad knows Maggie? 1190 00:56:35,875 --> 00:56:38,498 - You look a little funny to me. 1191 00:56:38,498 --> 00:56:41,294 - I do? - Yes. 1192 00:56:41,294 --> 00:56:45,505 You're a suspiciously tall woman. 1193 00:56:45,505 --> 00:56:47,680 - Who did you say you were again? 1194 00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:49,406 - Oh, I'm... 1195 00:56:49,406 --> 00:56:52,167 um... 1196 00:56:52,167 --> 00:56:54,583 Inn... 1197 00:56:54,583 --> 00:56:58,449 vest... 1198 00:56:58,449 --> 00:57:00,900 ...tigator. 1199 00:57:00,900 --> 00:57:02,902 - An investigator? 1200 00:57:02,902 --> 00:57:04,800 - Oh, shit. 1201 00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:07,907 - Oh! Like you invest in the reptiles! 1202 00:57:07,907 --> 00:57:09,598 - BOTH: [laughing] 1203 00:57:09,598 --> 00:57:12,808 - Why didn't you say so in the first place, girl? 1204 00:57:13,844 --> 00:57:15,880 - Faster. - Oh. 1205 00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:17,399 - [sneaky music] 1206 00:57:17,399 --> 00:57:20,160 - [siren wailing] 1207 00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:27,858 - ♪ 1208 00:57:33,242 --> 00:57:35,279 - Definitely... 1209 00:57:35,279 --> 00:57:39,317 Ooh, a lot of semen. 1210 00:57:39,317 --> 00:57:41,734 Naughty business, huh? 1211 00:57:41,734 --> 00:57:44,253 Ah! 1212 00:57:44,253 --> 00:57:46,980 Well, well, well. 1213 00:57:46,980 --> 00:57:49,569 "Olivia St. LaPelle." 1214 00:57:49,569 --> 00:57:52,641 That's not your name. 1215 00:57:52,641 --> 00:57:54,574 Busted! 1216 00:57:54,574 --> 00:57:57,404 - [sneaky music continues] 1217 00:57:59,510 --> 00:58:02,789 - [phone ringing] 1218 00:58:02,789 --> 00:58:08,415 - Delia? Yeah, I think I got something. 1219 00:58:08,415 --> 00:58:10,832 - Now, the Christmas Feast is one of the most nerve-wracking 1220 00:58:10,832 --> 00:58:12,972 challenges in the Winter Ball. 1221 00:58:12,972 --> 00:58:15,388 - And Mayor Coont never says what she's thinking, 1222 00:58:15,388 --> 00:58:17,908 but there are a few telltale signs. 1223 00:58:17,908 --> 00:58:21,290 If she raises an eyebrow, she likes it. 1224 00:58:24,293 --> 00:58:25,916 - [applause] 1225 00:58:25,916 --> 00:58:27,158 - Yep. - She likes it. 1226 00:58:27,158 --> 00:58:28,850 And if she purses her lips, ooh! 1227 00:58:28,850 --> 00:58:31,059 It's awful. 1228 00:58:31,059 --> 00:58:34,925 - [Christmassy music] 1229 00:58:34,925 --> 00:58:36,547 - KRESTON: Yuck! 1230 00:58:36,547 --> 00:58:40,517 - And if she scratches her head, it's because she has eczema. 1231 00:58:42,553 --> 00:58:45,038 - Careful, honey, it's heavy. 1232 00:58:45,038 --> 00:58:47,972 - [instrumental "Jingle Bells" plays] 1233 00:58:56,843 --> 00:58:58,465 - I'll take seconds. 1234 00:58:58,465 --> 00:58:59,846 - [gasping] 1235 00:58:59,846 --> 00:59:01,538 - [horn fanfare] 1236 00:59:01,538 --> 00:59:02,884 - Oh! - What? 1237 00:59:02,884 --> 00:59:05,024 For the first time in Winter Ball history, 1238 00:59:05,024 --> 00:59:07,854 the mayor is getting seconds! 1239 00:59:07,854 --> 00:59:09,960 - Yay, I love this part! 1240 00:59:12,790 --> 00:59:16,656 - Well, what's a Christmas feast without a little toast? 1241 00:59:16,656 --> 00:59:19,072 To the Downtown Broads. 1242 00:59:19,072 --> 00:59:21,661 - [cheers and applause] 1243 00:59:21,661 --> 00:59:23,663 - Oh, let's not forget their incomparable leader, 1244 00:59:23,663 --> 00:59:24,871 Maggie Zeen. 1245 00:59:24,871 --> 00:59:26,528 Let's hear it for Maggie Zeen, y'all! 1246 00:59:26,528 --> 00:59:30,359 - [cheers and applause] 1247 00:59:30,359 --> 00:59:35,744 - Or should I say, Olivia St. LaPelle. 1248 00:59:35,744 --> 00:59:38,367 - Olivia St...LaWho? 1249 00:59:38,367 --> 00:59:41,647 - Your little leader is actually an undercover journalist. 1250 00:59:41,647 --> 00:59:43,372 - What? 1251 00:59:43,372 --> 00:59:44,615 - A journalist? 1252 00:59:44,615 --> 00:59:46,375 She makes journals. 1253 00:59:46,375 --> 00:59:47,722 - Yeah. 1254 00:59:47,722 --> 00:59:51,760 - No, she's a reporter writing an exposé on Tuckahoe! 1255 00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:56,903 - [gasping] 1256 00:59:56,903 --> 01:00:00,873 - "It's fitting that I, Olivia, not Maggie, 1257 01:00:00,873 --> 01:00:03,392 "pretended to lead them to victory. 1258 01:00:03,392 --> 01:00:05,809 "After all, I can't imagine a more fitting street 1259 01:00:05,809 --> 01:00:07,880 "to exemplify Tuckahoe, 1260 01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:11,055 "a back-alley cesspool of fugly-ass skanks 1261 01:00:11,055 --> 01:00:13,023 "with no discernable talent. 1262 01:00:13,023 --> 01:00:15,784 And oh yeah, they also smelled like shit." 1263 01:00:15,784 --> 01:00:18,649 - [exclaiming] - [indignant gasping] 1264 01:00:18,649 --> 01:00:20,133 - DELIA: Damn, that's good! 1265 01:00:22,688 --> 01:00:24,655 - Maggie? Is this true? 1266 01:00:24,655 --> 01:00:27,762 - Russ, this is what I was trying to tell you earlier. 1267 01:00:27,762 --> 01:00:30,350 - And now you're gaslighting me? 1268 01:00:30,350 --> 01:00:32,456 Are you even from the Gobi Desert? 1269 01:00:32,456 --> 01:00:36,667 - [indistinct chatter] 1270 01:00:36,667 --> 01:00:41,879 - If these allegations are true, the Downtown Broads will be 1271 01:00:41,879 --> 01:00:47,367 immediately eliminated from this ball. Well? 1272 01:00:49,576 --> 01:00:50,923 - [indistinct chatter] 1273 01:00:50,923 --> 01:00:51,889 - They're true. 1274 01:00:51,889 --> 01:00:53,650 - [gasping] 1275 01:00:53,650 --> 01:00:55,513 - [exclaiming] 1276 01:00:55,513 --> 01:00:56,860 - They're all true. 1277 01:00:56,860 --> 01:00:58,378 - [gasping, exclaiming] 1278 01:00:58,378 --> 01:01:00,173 - That was a wig? 1279 01:01:00,173 --> 01:01:06,007 - Maggie Zeen, your team is disqualified! 1280 01:01:06,007 --> 01:01:07,146 - [applause] 1281 01:01:07,146 --> 01:01:09,389 - Girls! Girls, I'm so sorry! 1282 01:01:09,389 --> 01:01:13,980 - No. You don't come near us. 1283 01:01:13,980 --> 01:01:16,534 You were never a Broad. 1284 01:01:16,534 --> 01:01:18,122 You're just a bitch. 1285 01:01:19,848 --> 01:01:22,161 - GUY IN AUDIENCE: Boo! 1286 01:01:22,161 --> 01:01:25,405 - Wow. I guess print journalism really is dead! 1287 01:01:30,031 --> 01:01:31,860 - BERTRAM: [grunts] 1288 01:01:31,860 --> 01:01:37,866 - [sneaky music] 1289 01:01:37,866 --> 01:01:40,075 - Oh, hi. 1290 01:01:40,075 --> 01:01:42,802 I'm here to open an account. 1291 01:01:42,802 --> 01:01:44,286 Mind if I light up? 1292 01:01:44,286 --> 01:01:48,635 - [groans] 1293 01:01:48,635 --> 01:01:53,710 - Oh, and, uh, by the way, this isn't a deposit. 1294 01:01:53,710 --> 01:01:56,954 It's a withdrawal. 1295 01:01:56,954 --> 01:01:58,715 - [gasps] 1296 01:02:02,788 --> 01:02:06,930 - [sighs] 80085-pound-enter. 1297 01:02:06,930 --> 01:02:08,621 - [alarm blares] 1298 01:02:08,621 --> 01:02:11,003 - [beeping] 1299 01:02:11,003 --> 01:02:13,764 - [sneaky music continues] 1300 01:02:24,085 --> 01:02:27,191 - [zapping] 1301 01:02:29,469 --> 01:02:34,129 - [sneaky music with bells jingling] 1302 01:02:36,649 --> 01:02:39,100 - [chuckles] 1303 01:02:41,240 --> 01:02:45,175 Oh, hello, gorgeous. 1304 01:02:45,175 --> 01:02:47,729 If the crown fits... 1305 01:02:47,729 --> 01:02:49,524 take it. 1306 01:02:52,423 --> 01:02:54,874 [evil laugh] 1307 01:02:54,874 --> 01:02:57,774 - MICHELLE: As Hannah hatched her plan and snatched the crown, 1308 01:02:57,774 --> 01:03:02,606 Olivia packed her bags and said goodbye to that little town. 1309 01:03:08,094 --> 01:03:10,234 - Getting on? 1310 01:03:14,238 --> 01:03:20,244 - [gospel-style music playing] 1311 01:03:23,178 --> 01:03:25,491 - You're not a regular bus driver, are you? 1312 01:03:25,491 --> 01:03:28,908 - Of course not, hon! I'm the spirit of Christmas. 1313 01:03:28,908 --> 01:03:32,601 - So are you gonna take me to scenes from my past and... 1314 01:03:32,601 --> 01:03:34,983 hopefully change my perspective about Christmas? 1315 01:03:34,983 --> 01:03:37,503 - You're about to see all the moments 1316 01:03:37,503 --> 01:03:40,851 that made you who you are, Madelyn. 1317 01:03:40,851 --> 01:03:43,750 - Madelyn? Who's Madelyn? 1318 01:03:43,750 --> 01:03:44,890 - You're not Madelyn? 1319 01:03:44,890 --> 01:03:48,755 - No, I'm Olivia. - Shit! 1320 01:03:48,755 --> 01:03:50,136 - [music ends abruptly] 1321 01:03:50,136 --> 01:03:52,345 - Why, I was supposed to be Madelyn's spirit guide tonight. 1322 01:03:52,345 --> 01:03:53,968 Where the fuck is she? 1323 01:03:53,968 --> 01:03:55,245 - I, I don't--I don't know. 1324 01:03:55,245 --> 01:03:57,868 I'm--I'm sorry I can't help you. 1325 01:03:57,868 --> 01:04:03,425 - [sighs] Well, you look like you're goin' through something. 1326 01:04:03,425 --> 01:04:05,772 Maybe we can work out your stuff instead. 1327 01:04:05,772 --> 01:04:07,015 - Okay, yeah, sure. 1328 01:04:07,015 --> 01:04:10,501 - Hang on, baby. 1329 01:04:10,501 --> 01:04:13,988 - [wondrous, mysterious music] 1330 01:04:13,988 --> 01:04:16,853 - Wow. Where are we? 1331 01:04:16,853 --> 01:04:18,889 - Girl, I don't know. This is your past. 1332 01:04:24,274 --> 01:04:25,896 - HANNAH: Olivia! 1333 01:04:25,896 --> 01:04:28,209 You drop one more call and you're back out on the street 1334 01:04:28,209 --> 01:04:29,900 where I found you. 1335 01:04:29,900 --> 01:04:32,592 - Yes, Hannah. 1336 01:04:32,592 --> 01:04:34,594 - HANNAH: Now I'm off for my third lunch, baby. 1337 01:04:34,594 --> 01:04:36,907 Those articles better be proofread and on my desk 1338 01:04:36,907 --> 01:04:39,082 by the end of the day. 1339 01:04:39,082 --> 01:04:41,808 - But, isn't it Christmas? 1340 01:04:41,808 --> 01:04:45,191 - Christmas? Who cares about Christmas? 1341 01:04:45,191 --> 01:04:48,263 The one thing that's gonna make you happy in this bankrupt world 1342 01:04:48,263 --> 01:04:50,956 is a promotion! Remember that! 1343 01:04:55,926 --> 01:04:59,896 - [sound of typing] 1344 01:05:03,727 --> 01:05:07,524 - Hey, there, girly. Uh, what are you doing? 1345 01:05:07,524 --> 01:05:11,045 - Working, like always. 1346 01:05:11,045 --> 01:05:12,391 - Oh, why don't you take a break? 1347 01:05:12,391 --> 01:05:14,600 You know, go outside, make some friends? 1348 01:05:16,947 --> 01:05:19,260 Stop it. Stop. 1349 01:05:19,260 --> 01:05:22,090 Stop working. No-- 1350 01:05:22,090 --> 01:05:23,643 Stop it! Don't-- 1351 01:05:24,541 --> 01:05:27,199 Just--just look at me! Hey! 1352 01:05:27,199 --> 01:05:30,271 - It's almost as if you always threw yourself into work because 1353 01:05:30,271 --> 01:05:33,067 that's where you derive all your worth. 1354 01:05:33,067 --> 01:05:34,585 Come on. 1355 01:05:34,585 --> 01:05:36,622 - But how was I supposed to know any better? 1356 01:05:36,622 --> 01:05:39,694 My parents abandoned me on a goddamn stoop. 1357 01:05:39,694 --> 01:05:41,558 - It's because you didn't have parents who accepted you that 1358 01:05:41,558 --> 01:05:46,908 you grew up thinking that you weren't worthy of love? 1359 01:05:46,908 --> 01:05:48,323 - Damn, you're good at this. 1360 01:05:48,323 --> 01:05:50,843 - That's why they pay me the big bucks. 1361 01:05:50,843 --> 01:05:52,500 Speaking of... 1362 01:05:52,500 --> 01:05:54,605 Mm-hmm, oh yeah, mm-hmm. 1363 01:05:54,605 --> 01:05:58,092 So, traveling to the past, uh-huh. 1364 01:05:58,092 --> 01:06:01,716 Speaking to your younger self, ah-ha. 1365 01:06:01,716 --> 01:06:06,410 And resolving some childhood trauma, okay. 1366 01:06:06,410 --> 01:06:10,518 Comes out to...hm. 1367 01:06:10,518 --> 01:06:12,416 - Guess therapy isn't free anywhere, right? 1368 01:06:12,416 --> 01:06:14,418 - BOTH: [laughing] 1369 01:06:14,418 --> 01:06:16,213 - Will this be debit or credit? 1370 01:06:16,213 --> 01:06:17,525 - Uh, debit. - Okay. 1371 01:06:18,767 --> 01:06:20,631 [moaning] 1372 01:06:20,631 --> 01:06:21,770 - BUS DRIVER: Yo, lady? 1373 01:06:21,770 --> 01:06:23,393 - [gasps] 1374 01:06:25,878 --> 01:06:28,846 - One way to New York, are you coming or not? 1375 01:06:28,846 --> 01:06:30,089 - Oh. 1376 01:06:34,714 --> 01:06:36,993 - Oh, I seen this look before. 1377 01:06:36,993 --> 01:06:38,960 Don't tell me you got some unfinished business to-- 1378 01:06:38,960 --> 01:06:41,549 - I've got some unfinished business to take care of. 1379 01:06:45,173 --> 01:06:46,588 - Excuse me? 1380 01:06:48,314 --> 01:06:51,041 Is this the Spirit of Christmas? 1381 01:06:51,041 --> 01:06:53,906 - The fuck no. Who are you? 1382 01:06:53,906 --> 01:06:57,392 - I'm...Madelyn? 1383 01:07:00,085 --> 01:07:01,086 Take me to the church. 1384 01:07:04,572 --> 01:07:09,335 - [sad instrumental music] 1385 01:07:09,335 --> 01:07:12,304 - All right, say your goodbyes, ladies. 1386 01:07:12,304 --> 01:07:15,445 - OTHERS: Goodbyes, ladies. 1387 01:07:15,445 --> 01:07:17,033 - [door opens] 1388 01:07:17,033 --> 01:07:20,622 - OLIVIA: Wait, wait! Don't! 1389 01:07:20,622 --> 01:07:22,590 - Don't what? - I don't know. 1390 01:07:22,590 --> 01:07:24,419 I haven't thought past that part. 1391 01:07:24,419 --> 01:07:26,352 - What are you doing here? 1392 01:07:26,352 --> 01:07:29,321 Come to stab us in the back again? 1393 01:07:29,321 --> 01:07:32,807 - Look, I came back because I think we can still save the inn. 1394 01:07:32,807 --> 01:07:37,501 What if I told you there is a loophole? 1395 01:07:37,501 --> 01:07:39,917 Look, it says here on page 46, article A7-- 1396 01:07:39,917 --> 01:07:42,541 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1397 01:07:42,541 --> 01:07:45,751 You mean to tell us that you found this book right before 1398 01:07:45,751 --> 01:07:48,547 the last challenge? - Yeah. 1399 01:07:51,791 --> 01:07:53,690 - Okay. - Checks out, it makes sense. 1400 01:07:53,690 --> 01:07:57,866 - It says, "Any team competing in the Winter Ball can only be 1401 01:07:57,866 --> 01:08:00,697 disqualified on the name of its leader." 1402 01:08:00,697 --> 01:08:02,250 Which means, yes, the Broads 1403 01:08:02,250 --> 01:08:04,735 were disqualified under Maggie Zeen. 1404 01:08:04,735 --> 01:08:08,532 But we can still compete under Olivia St. LaPelle. 1405 01:08:08,532 --> 01:08:11,570 - Oh, right! Your real name. 1406 01:08:11,570 --> 01:08:13,572 - [grumbling] 1407 01:08:13,572 --> 01:08:14,918 - You know what? 1408 01:08:17,334 --> 01:08:18,715 - She's climbing it. 1409 01:08:18,715 --> 01:08:21,062 - Why is she always climbing up on everything? 1410 01:08:21,062 --> 01:08:23,513 - I'm sorry I lied to you. 1411 01:08:23,513 --> 01:08:25,342 But I didn't have any friends growing up. 1412 01:08:25,342 --> 01:08:28,414 I didn't even have any family. 1413 01:08:28,414 --> 01:08:33,212 But what I realized over this last week is that I found both. 1414 01:08:33,212 --> 01:08:37,320 And I am not gonna let a Pulitzer Prize-worthy exposé 1415 01:08:37,320 --> 01:08:39,874 get in the way of that. 1416 01:08:39,874 --> 01:08:44,810 Because families, honey, we stick together. 1417 01:08:44,810 --> 01:08:47,157 Just like the boards holding up this inn. 1418 01:08:47,157 --> 01:08:48,952 - [rumbling, loud crash] 1419 01:08:51,851 --> 01:08:55,234 - Oh, oh! Eew! 1420 01:08:55,234 --> 01:08:57,961 What kind of purgatory shit? 1421 01:08:57,961 --> 01:08:59,135 Hmph! 1422 01:09:02,483 --> 01:09:05,141 - All I can say is... 1423 01:09:05,141 --> 01:09:07,833 that I choose you, ladies. 1424 01:09:07,833 --> 01:09:09,973 And all I'm asking is that you choose me too. 1425 01:09:15,081 --> 01:09:18,947 I understand. 1426 01:09:18,947 --> 01:09:20,570 - Hey, Olivia? 1427 01:09:22,813 --> 01:09:27,128 We can't compete with just four. Come on. 1428 01:09:27,128 --> 01:09:28,681 - Really? - OTHERS: Yessss! 1429 01:09:28,681 --> 01:09:31,201 - Oh, thank goodness! I missed you. 1430 01:09:33,962 --> 01:09:37,414 - [tinkling sound] - [instrumental music swells] 1431 01:09:37,414 --> 01:09:38,726 - We are on the final performance 1432 01:09:38,726 --> 01:09:39,968 of our Christmas pageant, 1433 01:09:39,968 --> 01:09:42,833 and it's all been leading up to this. 1434 01:09:42,833 --> 01:09:43,938 It's Kittenheel Court performing 1435 01:09:43,938 --> 01:09:46,665 a heartfelt interpretive dance piece, 1436 01:09:46,665 --> 01:09:50,393 "The Snow Is White and So Am I." 1437 01:09:50,393 --> 01:09:56,261 - [slow, wondrous music] 1438 01:10:16,453 --> 01:10:20,285 ♪♪ 1439 01:10:20,285 --> 01:10:22,804 - [cheers and applause] 1440 01:10:23,840 --> 01:10:27,223 - Yeah, well--and that's it, folks. 1441 01:10:27,223 --> 01:10:28,638 - [mic feedback] 1442 01:10:30,847 --> 01:10:33,608 - Well, it appears the Broads are back. 1443 01:10:33,608 --> 01:10:36,335 - This ain't Christmas anymore, bitch. 1444 01:10:36,335 --> 01:10:39,476 It's Sis-mas! 1445 01:10:39,476 --> 01:10:43,169 ♪ Every Christmas, working to the bone ♪ 1446 01:10:43,169 --> 01:10:44,757 ♪ Seven-dollar loan 1447 01:10:44,757 --> 01:10:47,450 ♪ That's until I found a home 1448 01:10:47,450 --> 01:10:50,901 - ♪ Each December, fighting wild dogs ♪ 1449 01:10:50,901 --> 01:10:52,938 ♪ A little light tax fraud 1450 01:10:52,938 --> 01:10:55,458 ♪ That's until I found my broads ♪ 1451 01:10:55,458 --> 01:10:57,632 - ♪ Christmas ain't about 1452 01:10:57,632 --> 01:10:59,565 ♪ Sitting on a couch 1453 01:10:59,565 --> 01:11:03,155 ♪ It's a girls' night out 1454 01:11:03,155 --> 01:11:07,193 - ♪ You can't build a snowman all on your own ♪ 1455 01:11:07,193 --> 01:11:11,094 ♪ Santa can't sleigh without his ho, ho, hos ♪ 1456 01:11:11,094 --> 01:11:14,994 ♪ You can't start a fire without raising hell ♪ 1457 01:11:14,994 --> 01:11:17,307 ♪ You can't spell Christmas without ♪ 1458 01:11:17,307 --> 01:11:19,654 ♪ G-I-R-L 1459 01:11:19,654 --> 01:11:23,209 - [interlude] 1460 01:11:23,209 --> 01:11:26,834 - ♪ Now each season, crashing all the fun ♪ 1461 01:11:26,834 --> 01:11:29,077 ♪ Like a hit and run 1462 01:11:29,077 --> 01:11:31,252 Literally, I did a hit and run today. 1463 01:11:31,252 --> 01:11:33,150 - ♪ Meow, meow, meow, Kitti under your tree ♪ 1464 01:11:33,150 --> 01:11:35,083 ♪ Your finger in my stocking, my hand on your D ♪ 1465 01:11:35,083 --> 01:11:37,051 ♪ You cross my girls, you'll catch a fist! ♪ 1466 01:11:37,051 --> 01:11:39,364 ♪ My bottom's on top of the naughty list ♪ 1467 01:11:39,364 --> 01:11:41,642 - ♪ Christmas ain't about 1468 01:11:41,642 --> 01:11:43,678 ♪ Sittin' on the couch 1469 01:11:43,678 --> 01:11:47,095 - ♪ It's a girls' night out 1470 01:11:47,095 --> 01:11:51,134 - ♪ You can't build a snowman all on your own ♪ 1471 01:11:51,134 --> 01:11:55,069 ♪ Santa can't sleigh without his ho, ho, hos ♪ 1472 01:11:55,069 --> 01:11:58,935 ♪ You can't start fire without raising hell ♪ 1473 01:11:58,935 --> 01:12:01,351 ♪ You can't spell Christmas without ♪ 1474 01:12:01,351 --> 01:12:03,836 ♪ G-I-R-L 1475 01:12:03,836 --> 01:12:07,219 - ♪ They say I have no personality ♪ 1476 01:12:07,219 --> 01:12:11,188 ♪ Well, I found a mole on my thigh today ♪ 1477 01:12:11,188 --> 01:12:15,641 ♪ Now I'm gonna make it my thing ♪ 1478 01:12:15,641 --> 01:12:18,057 ♪ Watch out, world, it's Mole Girl, yeah ♪ 1479 01:12:18,057 --> 01:12:21,302 - ♪ You can't build a snowman all on your own ♪ 1480 01:12:21,302 --> 01:12:25,030 ♪ Santa can't sleigh without his ho-ho-hos ♪ 1481 01:12:25,030 --> 01:12:28,896 ♪ You can't start a fire without raising hell ♪ 1482 01:12:28,896 --> 01:12:31,174 ♪ You can't spell Christmas without ♪ 1483 01:12:31,174 --> 01:12:33,210 - ♪ Can't spell Christmas without-- ♪ 1484 01:12:33,210 --> 01:12:35,351 - ♪ Can't spell Christmas without-- ♪ 1485 01:12:35,351 --> 01:12:37,318 - ♪ G-I-R-L 1486 01:12:37,318 --> 01:12:39,769 - E! 1487 01:12:39,769 --> 01:12:42,323 - [cheers and applause] 1488 01:12:45,395 --> 01:12:46,914 - That was incredible, Kreston. 1489 01:12:46,914 --> 01:12:50,573 Have you ever seen anything so surprising? 1490 01:12:50,573 --> 01:12:52,747 - Well, not since I found some guy's hair 1491 01:12:52,747 --> 01:12:56,544 on my wife's pillow this morning. 1492 01:12:56,544 --> 01:12:57,856 - Look over there! 1493 01:12:57,856 --> 01:13:00,134 The mayor is ready to make her decision! 1494 01:13:00,134 --> 01:13:03,275 - This was an incredibly tough decision. 1495 01:13:05,933 --> 01:13:08,349 I thought long and hard. 1496 01:13:10,040 --> 01:13:14,459 The winner of this year's Winter Ball is-- 1497 01:13:14,459 --> 01:13:16,426 - The crown! It's gone! 1498 01:13:16,426 --> 01:13:17,738 Someone stole it. 1499 01:13:17,738 --> 01:13:19,602 - [gasping] 1500 01:13:19,602 --> 01:13:22,156 - What!? - No, no, no. 1501 01:13:22,156 --> 01:13:24,986 - It's her! She must've stolen it. 1502 01:13:24,986 --> 01:13:27,713 We all read her exposé. She's obsessed with the crown! 1503 01:13:27,713 --> 01:13:30,336 - [crowd jeering] 1504 01:13:32,684 --> 01:13:35,238 - Hey, hey! - It wasn't me, I swear! 1505 01:13:35,238 --> 01:13:37,930 - Well, if you didn't steal it, then who did? 1506 01:13:37,930 --> 01:13:39,760 - GUY IN CROWD: Get out of Tuckahoe, you bitch! 1507 01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:41,555 - But it's just a silly little crown, 1508 01:13:41,555 --> 01:13:45,006 and not something to plan your entire year/life around. 1509 01:13:45,006 --> 01:13:47,699 - The ultimate winter accessory 1510 01:13:47,699 --> 01:13:51,703 that will have the world reading this exposé. 1511 01:13:51,703 --> 01:13:53,187 - She used to write for the local paper, 1512 01:13:53,187 --> 01:13:56,086 but nobody ever read her articles. 1513 01:13:56,086 --> 01:14:01,229 - [wondrous, mysterious music] 1514 01:14:03,093 --> 01:14:05,199 - [laughs] 1515 01:14:05,199 --> 01:14:07,443 - It was her! Hannah Contour! 1516 01:14:07,443 --> 01:14:09,686 - [gasping] 1517 01:14:09,686 --> 01:14:14,622 - Also known as Marianne Urcoont. 1518 01:14:14,622 --> 01:14:16,244 - [gasping] 1519 01:14:16,244 --> 01:14:18,937 - Take a picture. It'll last longer. 1520 01:14:18,937 --> 01:14:21,871 - [stutters] My sister!? 1521 01:14:21,871 --> 01:14:23,355 - That's right. 1522 01:14:23,355 --> 01:14:26,013 I should've known it when I saw her name in the paper! 1523 01:14:26,013 --> 01:14:28,981 "Urcoont" is anagram for "Contour"! 1524 01:14:28,981 --> 01:14:31,121 - [gasping, exclaiming] 1525 01:14:31,121 --> 01:14:35,332 - So, you finally figured it out. 1526 01:14:35,332 --> 01:14:36,955 Bravo. 1527 01:14:39,889 --> 01:14:43,168 Aren't you the smart one? 1528 01:14:43,168 --> 01:14:45,411 [chuckles] 1529 01:14:45,411 --> 01:14:50,106 I knew only you could sniff out the crown. 1530 01:14:50,106 --> 01:14:53,419 And when I learned you found out 1531 01:14:53,419 --> 01:14:56,181 the code for the vault 1532 01:14:56,181 --> 01:15:00,875 after spying on Mayor Coont and Bertram's affair... 1533 01:15:00,875 --> 01:15:02,498 - [gasping] - [sounds of disgust] 1534 01:15:02,498 --> 01:15:03,637 - Bertram? 1535 01:15:03,637 --> 01:15:05,155 - An affair? 1536 01:15:05,155 --> 01:15:08,124 - I knew what I had to do. 1537 01:15:08,124 --> 01:15:10,160 - Oh! 1538 01:15:10,160 --> 01:15:11,990 - [laughs] 1539 01:15:11,990 --> 01:15:16,063 - There's still one thing that I haven't figured out. 1540 01:15:16,063 --> 01:15:17,340 Why? 1541 01:15:17,340 --> 01:15:21,413 - I needed to sell the crown so I could save "Gorge." 1542 01:15:21,413 --> 01:15:22,932 - Save it? 1543 01:15:22,932 --> 01:15:28,454 - The magazine's been failing for years and years. 1544 01:15:28,454 --> 01:15:31,492 Print journalism is dead. 1545 01:15:31,492 --> 01:15:32,838 - Everything's online. 1546 01:15:32,838 --> 01:15:34,219 - HANNAH: It's gone the way of the dinosaur. 1547 01:15:34,219 --> 01:15:35,703 - [indistinct chatter] - Oh, okay. 1548 01:15:35,703 --> 01:15:38,292 - I mean, magazines are dead. 1549 01:15:38,292 --> 01:15:40,536 That's why I had to steal the crown! 1550 01:15:42,434 --> 01:15:43,849 Isn't it pretty? 1551 01:15:43,849 --> 01:15:47,577 - But Marianne, I thought you disappeared! 1552 01:15:47,577 --> 01:15:51,132 - Marianne? Child, please. 1553 01:15:51,132 --> 01:15:55,758 Marianne is long gone, okay? 1554 01:15:55,758 --> 01:16:00,003 She left the day you humiliated me. 1555 01:16:00,003 --> 01:16:03,973 Remember when you made me accept this crown for our street? 1556 01:16:03,973 --> 01:16:05,802 Remember that? 1557 01:16:05,802 --> 01:16:09,703 And when I lifted it onto my head and my belly bursted out of 1558 01:16:09,703 --> 01:16:13,879 my gorgeous corset because I was nine months pregnant? 1559 01:16:13,879 --> 01:16:16,468 You remember that? 1560 01:16:16,468 --> 01:16:19,022 You humiliated me. 1561 01:16:19,022 --> 01:16:21,611 - Russ, apprehend that woman. Get my crown! 1562 01:16:21,611 --> 01:16:25,511 - Oh no, you better don't. You better back up. 1563 01:16:25,511 --> 01:16:27,928 I said, you better back up! 1564 01:16:27,928 --> 01:16:30,551 'Cause I got me an appointment. 1565 01:16:30,551 --> 01:16:31,725 I got an appointment with 1566 01:16:31,725 --> 01:16:33,968 a sheikh who has a penchant for what? 1567 01:16:33,968 --> 01:16:38,179 Headwear! Headwear. 1568 01:16:38,179 --> 01:16:41,148 He has a penchant for headwear. 1569 01:16:41,148 --> 01:16:43,460 And I'm not gonna miss this meeting. 1570 01:16:43,460 --> 01:16:45,152 Uh-uh. So Russ, 1571 01:16:45,152 --> 01:16:47,982 you better back up, because that right there? 1572 01:16:47,982 --> 01:16:49,674 - [helicopter blades whirring] 1573 01:16:49,674 --> 01:16:52,090 - [gasping] 1574 01:16:52,090 --> 01:16:56,025 - Honey, that's my ride. Yoo-hoo! 1575 01:16:58,510 --> 01:17:01,651 - Christ on a cracker, she's going up the Christmas tree, 1576 01:17:01,651 --> 01:17:03,308 Olivia. Do something! 1577 01:17:03,308 --> 01:17:05,517 - Is she going to jump from there? 1578 01:17:05,517 --> 01:17:07,968 - [suspenseful music] 1579 01:17:07,968 --> 01:17:13,629 - [grunting] 1580 01:17:13,629 --> 01:17:15,423 - Come with me, Olivia! 1581 01:17:15,423 --> 01:17:20,774 I'll give you that promotion you've always dreamed of! 1582 01:17:20,774 --> 01:17:21,913 - You mean... 1583 01:17:21,913 --> 01:17:24,398 Executive Fashion Ladyboss in Chief? 1584 01:17:24,398 --> 01:17:25,571 - Better! 1585 01:17:25,571 --> 01:17:30,473 Chief Executive Fashion Ladyboss in Chief! 1586 01:17:30,473 --> 01:17:31,405 - [gasps] 1587 01:17:31,405 --> 01:17:34,166 - We have to save "Gorge" Olivia! 1588 01:17:34,166 --> 01:17:36,582 You and me, we're the same. 1589 01:17:36,582 --> 01:17:40,621 We're--we're nobodies without our careers. 1590 01:17:40,621 --> 01:17:42,865 - I am nothing like you! 1591 01:17:42,865 --> 01:17:44,936 - Are you so sure about that? 1592 01:17:44,936 --> 01:17:49,112 Aren't you curious about my pregnancy all those years ago? 1593 01:17:49,112 --> 01:17:52,598 Who I was pregnant with? 1594 01:17:52,598 --> 01:17:56,533 Your parents never abandoned you on that stoop, Olivia. 1595 01:17:56,533 --> 01:17:58,846 It was a lie! 1596 01:17:58,846 --> 01:18:02,298 - What? No! No, that can't be! 1597 01:18:02,298 --> 01:18:07,268 - I gave birth to you on the steps of "Gorge"! 1598 01:18:07,268 --> 01:18:09,995 I knew if the magazine found out I was a mother, 1599 01:18:09,995 --> 01:18:13,033 I'd never get as far. 1600 01:18:13,033 --> 01:18:18,452 So I did what I had to do our family. 1601 01:18:18,452 --> 01:18:20,040 - Our family? 1602 01:18:20,040 --> 01:18:21,869 - [helicopter blades whirring] 1603 01:18:21,869 --> 01:18:26,080 - You were never my mother! [grunts] 1604 01:18:26,080 --> 01:18:28,807 - [ornament breaks] - Ow! Bitch! 1605 01:18:28,807 --> 01:18:32,708 I've always been your mother! 1606 01:18:32,708 --> 01:18:34,123 - Aah! 1607 01:18:35,503 --> 01:18:39,887 Well, a mother would not make her daughter her assistant! 1608 01:18:39,887 --> 01:18:41,337 Aah! - [exclaiming] 1609 01:18:41,337 --> 01:18:43,615 - You cheated on me with her? 1610 01:18:43,615 --> 01:18:45,065 - Oh, don't you hit him! 1611 01:18:45,065 --> 01:18:47,826 - You got my sister pregnant! 1612 01:18:47,826 --> 01:18:50,070 - Your grandpa's your father's dad? 1613 01:18:50,070 --> 01:18:52,210 - And I'm taking the kids. 1614 01:18:52,210 --> 01:18:54,937 - You fuck my wife, didn't you? 1615 01:18:54,937 --> 01:18:57,042 - Only 'cause you fuck mine! 1616 01:18:57,042 --> 01:18:59,976 - I hate myself. I hate myself. 1617 01:18:59,976 --> 01:19:01,426 - Snap out of it! 1618 01:19:01,426 --> 01:19:05,637 - [slapping] 1619 01:19:05,637 --> 01:19:07,915 - Give me that crown! - OLIVIA: No! No! 1620 01:19:07,915 --> 01:19:09,296 - Give it to me! 1621 01:19:09,296 --> 01:19:11,470 - It doesn't matter if you're my mother... 1622 01:19:11,470 --> 01:19:13,472 'cause I found my real family. 1623 01:19:13,472 --> 01:19:17,407 And they are right down there! 1624 01:19:17,407 --> 01:19:19,237 [grunts] 1625 01:19:19,237 --> 01:19:22,102 - [exclaiming, gasping] 1626 01:19:25,899 --> 01:19:28,694 - It's saved! The crown is saved! 1627 01:19:28,694 --> 01:19:33,044 - [cheers and applause] 1628 01:19:33,044 --> 01:19:35,805 - You dumb bitch! 1629 01:19:35,805 --> 01:19:38,325 We could've had it all, 1630 01:19:38,325 --> 01:19:40,706 but you had to throw it away! 1631 01:19:40,706 --> 01:19:42,708 You had to throw it away! 1632 01:19:42,708 --> 01:19:47,748 Well, looks like that promotion is going to Tristan after all! 1633 01:19:51,856 --> 01:19:53,927 Goodbye, Olivia! 1634 01:19:53,927 --> 01:19:57,896 - ["Ride of the Valkyries" plays] 1635 01:19:57,896 --> 01:20:00,105 - [helicopter blades whirring] 1636 01:20:00,105 --> 01:20:02,798 - Are you safe? 1637 01:20:02,798 --> 01:20:04,109 Stop it. 1638 01:20:06,663 --> 01:20:08,251 - What? Did you Broads really think 1639 01:20:08,251 --> 01:20:10,219 your little loophole would work? 1640 01:20:10,219 --> 01:20:13,670 Did you forget you missed, like, 98% of this pageant? 1641 01:20:13,670 --> 01:20:15,638 - We weren't here. I didn't understand. 1642 01:20:15,638 --> 01:20:16,950 Was there a schedule? 1643 01:20:16,950 --> 01:20:19,297 - That is true. 1644 01:20:19,297 --> 01:20:24,233 Oh, Kittenheel Court wins the Winter Ball! 1645 01:20:24,233 --> 01:20:25,959 - [horn and drum fanfare] 1646 01:20:25,959 --> 01:20:29,376 - Oh, no, no! 1647 01:20:29,376 --> 01:20:32,172 - As winter queen, my first order of business is 1648 01:20:32,172 --> 01:20:35,865 destroying your little inn. Bulldozers! 1649 01:20:35,865 --> 01:20:37,384 - [bulldozers start up] 1650 01:20:37,384 --> 01:20:39,800 - Well, that's it, girls. 1651 01:20:39,800 --> 01:20:45,047 Now we'll never have enough money to--to pay the loan! 1652 01:20:45,047 --> 01:20:48,464 - Oh, it's okay. We'll figure it out. 1653 01:20:48,464 --> 01:20:52,813 - After saving the crown, it's the least we can do. 1654 01:20:52,813 --> 01:20:54,401 - That's--that's for us? 1655 01:20:54,401 --> 01:20:56,058 - [cheers and applause] 1656 01:20:56,058 --> 01:20:57,749 - Oh, oh! 1657 01:21:00,994 --> 01:21:06,378 - [exclaiming] 1658 01:21:06,378 --> 01:21:09,416 - Do I have to take my top off? Oh, oh, it's real! 1659 01:21:09,416 --> 01:21:10,727 - Oh, no, keep your top on 1660 01:21:10,727 --> 01:21:13,144 if you want them to keep throwing money. 1661 01:21:13,144 --> 01:21:15,732 - [exclaiming] 1662 01:21:21,600 --> 01:21:26,053 - Well, I think this should cover it. 1663 01:21:26,053 --> 01:21:28,607 - [muffled speech] 1664 01:21:28,607 --> 01:21:31,783 - Girls, we did! We saved the inn! 1665 01:21:31,783 --> 01:21:33,336 - [laughter] 1666 01:21:33,336 --> 01:21:35,442 - My Cardigan Outlet! 1667 01:21:35,442 --> 01:21:38,031 This isn't over. Girls, we're leaving. 1668 01:21:38,031 --> 01:21:39,929 - Oh, no, Delia. - Uh-uh. 1669 01:21:39,929 --> 01:21:42,276 - Girls? 1670 01:21:42,276 --> 01:21:43,933 - Hey, Delia. 1671 01:21:43,933 --> 01:21:45,624 I got a little joke for you. 1672 01:21:45,624 --> 01:21:50,802 We voted, and you are no longer the leader of Kittenheel Court. 1673 01:21:50,802 --> 01:21:53,805 And here is the punchline. 1674 01:21:56,739 --> 01:21:58,568 - [cheers and applause] 1675 01:21:58,568 --> 01:22:00,294 - Bertram? 1676 01:22:04,402 --> 01:22:05,921 - You know, that looks great on you. 1677 01:22:08,475 --> 01:22:09,683 - [piano "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"] 1678 01:22:09,683 --> 01:22:11,650 - Oh! - Your customers requested it. 1679 01:22:11,650 --> 01:22:13,066 - Oh, bless them! 1680 01:22:13,066 --> 01:22:15,896 - Olivia, what is all this? 1681 01:22:15,896 --> 01:22:17,311 - [exclaiming] 1682 01:22:17,311 --> 01:22:19,520 - I've never really done this Christmas thing before, 1683 01:22:19,520 --> 01:22:22,109 so I hope you like it. - Thank you. 1684 01:22:22,109 --> 01:22:23,939 - Should we open them together? 1685 01:22:23,939 --> 01:22:25,837 - Yeah! 1686 01:22:25,837 --> 01:22:29,392 - [exclaiming, gasping] 1687 01:22:29,392 --> 01:22:32,188 - Today we're all queens. 1688 01:22:32,188 --> 01:22:35,191 - [exclaiming] 1689 01:22:35,191 --> 01:22:36,917 - [banging on door] 1690 01:22:36,917 --> 01:22:38,436 - Thank you so much. 1691 01:22:38,436 --> 01:22:41,197 - [excited chatter] 1692 01:22:41,197 --> 01:22:43,027 - HAZEL: Oh, you look like... 1693 01:22:43,027 --> 01:22:45,788 - KITTI: Oh, thank you, Danny DeVito, that's very kind. 1694 01:22:45,788 --> 01:22:46,789 - Mayor Coont? 1695 01:22:46,789 --> 01:22:49,723 - Shh! Urcoont. 1696 01:22:49,723 --> 01:22:52,553 I decided to embrace who I truly am 1697 01:22:52,553 --> 01:22:55,763 after confronting so much of my past yesterday. 1698 01:22:55,763 --> 01:23:00,837 Thank you, Olivia, for saving my town. 1699 01:23:00,837 --> 01:23:02,391 And one more thing. 1700 01:23:07,085 --> 01:23:09,915 - I came back last night after getting into a horrific 1701 01:23:09,915 --> 01:23:11,917 helicopter crash. 1702 01:23:11,917 --> 01:23:16,198 Turns out the Tuckahoe curse is very real. 1703 01:23:16,198 --> 01:23:18,994 - Me and my sister got to talking 1704 01:23:18,994 --> 01:23:20,512 and spent the whole night 1705 01:23:20,512 --> 01:23:25,862 remembering what it was like to be a family again. 1706 01:23:25,862 --> 01:23:29,452 - And I thought about what you said to me in that tree and I-- 1707 01:23:29,452 --> 01:23:33,146 I realized that you always admired me. 1708 01:23:33,146 --> 01:23:37,322 Turns out the appreciation I was searching for all those years 1709 01:23:37,322 --> 01:23:40,877 was right outside my office door. 1710 01:23:40,877 --> 01:23:43,363 And look, I--I may not be good at it, 1711 01:23:43,363 --> 01:23:46,435 and I--I have a lot of time to make up for, 1712 01:23:46,435 --> 01:23:52,130 but I kind of sort of maybe, 1713 01:23:52,130 --> 01:23:55,651 maybe just ready to be a mom. 1714 01:23:55,651 --> 01:23:58,309 If you'll have me, of course. 1715 01:23:59,724 --> 01:24:03,314 Call me...Mother? 1716 01:24:03,314 --> 01:24:04,729 - I don't know. 1717 01:24:04,729 --> 01:24:06,938 I think that's gonna take a long time. 1718 01:24:06,938 --> 01:24:12,461 - Hm. I understand. 1719 01:24:12,461 --> 01:24:16,189 - But today...we're all family. 1720 01:24:16,189 --> 01:24:19,502 - Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh! 1721 01:24:19,502 --> 01:24:22,816 Oh, come on, sis! Come on, sissy! 1722 01:24:27,924 --> 01:24:30,341 - Olivia, you were right. 1723 01:24:30,341 --> 01:24:32,343 What we have is real, 1724 01:24:32,343 --> 01:24:35,898 even if you are Maggie-- or Olivia, or Olaggie, 1725 01:24:35,898 --> 01:24:39,971 or Magivia, or Tina, or Stephanie. 1726 01:24:39,971 --> 01:24:41,490 - Oh, Russ! 1727 01:24:41,490 --> 01:24:46,460 - What I'm trying to say is... 1728 01:24:46,460 --> 01:24:49,187 Will you marry me? 1729 01:24:49,187 --> 01:24:51,603 - Russ... 1730 01:24:51,603 --> 01:24:54,054 haven't we only known each other for, like, four days? 1731 01:24:54,054 --> 01:24:57,506 - [ding] - Yeah, you're right. 1732 01:24:57,506 --> 01:25:00,095 What am I doing? - I don't know! 1733 01:25:00,095 --> 01:25:01,717 - Can you imagine if you said yes? 1734 01:25:01,717 --> 01:25:03,891 - [laughs] Oh my god, you're so crazy! 1735 01:25:03,891 --> 01:25:05,824 Come on in here. Take your shirt off. 1736 01:25:05,824 --> 01:25:07,447 - Okay. 1737 01:25:07,447 --> 01:25:10,070 - Oh, hello. - Hello, Russ. 1738 01:25:10,070 --> 01:25:12,383 - MICHELLE: On that morning, Olivia saw it, 1739 01:25:12,383 --> 01:25:14,695 all the rainbow hues. 1740 01:25:14,695 --> 01:25:17,353 A kaleidoscope of family-- 1741 01:25:17,353 --> 01:25:19,252 the family you choose. 1742 01:25:19,252 --> 01:25:23,601 And what is Christmas if not a silly little stunt 1743 01:25:23,601 --> 01:25:26,431 for family to come together 1744 01:25:26,431 --> 01:25:29,952 and absolutely serve... 1745 01:25:29,952 --> 01:25:30,987 Coont. 1746 01:25:30,987 --> 01:25:33,024 - Now let the music play. 1747 01:25:33,024 --> 01:25:34,784 - [cheering] 1748 01:25:34,784 --> 01:25:36,683 - ♪ Christmas ain't about 1749 01:25:36,683 --> 01:25:38,650 ♪ Sitting on the couch 1750 01:25:38,650 --> 01:25:42,102 ♪ It's a girls' night out 1751 01:25:42,102 --> 01:25:46,106 ♪ You can't build a snowman all on your own ♪ 1752 01:25:46,106 --> 01:25:49,972 ♪ Santa can't sleigh without his ho, ho, hos ♪ 1753 01:25:49,972 --> 01:25:53,872 ♪ You can't start a fire without raising hell ♪ 1754 01:25:53,872 --> 01:25:56,220 ♪ You can't spell Christmas without ♪ 1755 01:25:56,220 --> 01:25:58,360 ♪ G-I-R-L 1756 01:25:58,360 --> 01:25:59,982 - E! 1757 01:25:59,982 --> 01:26:04,780 - [cheering] 1758 01:26:06,471 --> 01:26:07,783 - ♪ Come on, all ye faithful 1759 01:26:07,783 --> 01:26:09,819 ♪ I got something to share 1760 01:26:09,819 --> 01:26:11,683 ♪ Guaranteed to make your 1761 01:26:11,683 --> 01:26:13,582 ♪ Humbug disappear 1762 01:26:13,582 --> 01:26:15,411 ♪ I got a reason through the season ♪ 1763 01:26:15,411 --> 01:26:17,448 ♪ To get the yuletide into you ♪ 1764 01:26:17,448 --> 01:26:19,657 ♪ Come on, Mary, let's get merry ♪ 1765 01:26:19,657 --> 01:26:22,246 ♪ Change your attitude 1766 01:26:22,246 --> 01:26:25,663 ♪ No, this ain't your momma's Christmas carol ♪ 1767 01:26:25,663 --> 01:26:33,878 ♪ So don on, don on, don gay apparel ♪