1 00:00:02,127 --> 00:00:02,836 ♪ 2 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:05,380 MEL BROOKS: "The Oslo Peace Accords." 3 00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,049 NORWEGIAN MAN: This is really historic. 4 00:00:07,049 --> 00:00:09,301 We have agreed in principle 5 00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:12,304 to a real and everlasting peace accord 6 00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,014 between Israel and Palestine. 7 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:17,518 Now, if I could just get some general agreement noises 8 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,478 from the room. Like, just a sort of... 9 00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:22,689 [all murmuring in agreement] 10 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:25,275 Good, good, and... perfect! 11 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:27,444 Good, thank you. That was just right. 12 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:30,697 Okay, now I'm gonna get this ready for the signings, ja? 13 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,115 There's just one more thing concerning 14 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,159 who gets to claim the homeland of hummus, 15 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,495 but we can iron that afterward. Ja. 16 00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:37,996 ♪ tense music ♪ 17 00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:39,498 [concerned murmuring] 18 00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:40,707 This is not a small thing. 19 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,627 We must settle on who created hummus before we sign, 20 00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:45,170 or we can never have true peace. 21 00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,214 - Of course. - This is very simple, really, 22 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:50,676 when you think about it because Israel, you know, created hummus. 23 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,719 [condescending laughing] 24 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,013 I didn't realize I was watching Family Matters right now. 25 00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:56,348 What are you talking about? 26 00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:58,392 Oh, because you're like Steve Urkel, 27 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,352 in that you are making me laugh. 28 00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,479 "Did I do that?" No. [spectator gasps] 29 00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,731 My Palestinian ancestors did that! 30 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,651 What do you think the Jews were eating in the desert 31 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:10,362 for 40 years, Amir? Wet sand? 32 00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:12,906 That's exactly how you describe Israeli hummus. 33 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,616 - Fuck you, man. - Oh, fuck you. 34 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:15,868 Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo! 35 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,536 - [murmuring] - Guys, guys, guys, come on now. 36 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:20,414 We agreed the only F word we're gonna use in this room 37 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,665 is friendship. 38 00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:22,958 Go friendship yourself. 39 00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:25,419 Excuse me, but, uh, make no mistake. 40 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,171 Egypt created hummus. 41 00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:31,466 [all laughing] 42 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:32,634 Yes, of course! You know what-- 43 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,261 I have heard enough, okay? 44 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,597 Because it is... 45 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:40,726 Greece who has invented hummus! 46 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,811 It's as Greek as naked wrestling. 47 00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,105 And may I just say, Christos, 48 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,982 that the only thing the Greeks invented 49 00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:49,234 was being a shitty little asshole. 50 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:50,527 - [murmuring] - Oh, snap. 51 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:53,113 Everybody knows that Turkey is the home of hummus. 52 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,323 Turkey is the home of hummus? 53 00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:56,742 - TURKISH AMBASSADOR: That's right. - Okay. This is rich, okay? 54 00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:59,995 Because your country is called Turkey, 55 00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:03,165 but you make absolutely no claim to that food. 56 00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,625 Don't want. Don't want it. CHRISTOS: Okay. 57 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,877 What you should be called instead 58 00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,420 is Bullshit. [laughter] 59 00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:11,048 Because that is all you make. 60 00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:12,799 Please, please, no, no, no. You guys-- 61 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,260 And I think your country is called Greece 62 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,679 because your food is so greasy. 63 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:21,391 Oh no! Spanakopita is... oily, okay? 64 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:22,559 It's not greasy. 65 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,436 Hey, hey! Why don't we sit down, right? 66 00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:28,315 Why are we standing? There's no need to stand! Guys, guys, 67 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,234 I don't even know why we're discussing this, to be honest. 68 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,401 I put it in there as a joke. 69 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:34,029 [laughs] It was just like a little funny thing before lunch. 70 00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:36,615 Lunch! AMIR: Ah, yes! Yes. 71 00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:38,951 We are going to sign whatever the hell you want us to sign, 72 00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,536 and we're going to get the F out of here. 73 00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:43,330 Oh, yes! Wonderful. Yes, let's sign it, please! Oh God... 74 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:46,500 We'll just go to my place, the Israeli embassy. 75 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:49,545 We'll have lunch. CHRISTOS: Greek embassy lunch is on me! 76 00:02:49,545 --> 00:02:51,421 TURKISH AMBASSADOR: The Turkish embassy is open. 77 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:53,257 NORWEGIAN AMBASSADOR: Well, we can also just eat here, 78 00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:55,509 at the Norwegian embassy. ISRAELI AMBASSADOR: Fuck you. 79 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:59,429 Well, okay. More sheep's head for me then, right? [laughs] 80 00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:02,432 ♪ epic theme playing ♪ 81 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:08,730 MEL: History of The World, Part II! 82 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:16,989 ♪ cheerful theme playing ♪ 83 00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:20,367 ♪ From Barbados to Brooklyn, then to DC ♪ 84 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,619 ♪ She's the first Black congresswoman ♪ 85 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:23,745 ♪ She's Shirley ♪ 86 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:26,915 ♪ It's been a long hard road, but hope was never lost ♪ 87 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:30,794 ♪ 'Cause that girl Shirley's unbought and unbossed ♪ 88 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:33,255 ♪ Ooh, ooh, Shirley ♪ 89 00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,424 [audience cheering] 90 00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:39,344 ANNOUNCER: Shirley! is filmed in front of a live Black audience. 91 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,722 ♪ Yeah... ♪ 92 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,559 Wow! This place is so futuristic! 93 00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:48,604 Well, that's 'cause, for our anniversary, 94 00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:51,690 I wanted to take you out of this world. [laughs] 95 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:55,652 I'm talkin' hotel sex. [audience laughter] 96 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,363 I promise, no work this weekend. 97 00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,615 No campaigning, 98 00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:01,783 no speeches, no candidate. 99 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:04,912 - I am just your wife. - [laughs] Right. 100 00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:08,749 [Conrad clears throat] [audience laughter] 101 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,000 What about that jacket? 102 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,586 It's the only one I have with pockets. 103 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,087 [audience laughter] 104 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:17,716 - Welcome to the Watergate Hotel. - Yes, uh, 105 00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:19,510 reservation's under Chisholm. 106 00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:21,845 I booked a room with a heart-shaped bathtub 107 00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,181 and a fireplace that roars. 108 00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:27,100 Yes, it's in the notes. We don't have that. 109 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,936 What? Come on, now! [audience laughter] 110 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,188 - I made this reservation weeks ago! - Gloria? 111 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,107 The most famous feminist in the world? [audience cheering] 112 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,234 Gloria! 113 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:39,530 Shirley Chisholm? Are you here for our conference? 114 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:40,739 Am I? 115 00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:44,034 Does a woman only make 56 cents for every dollar a man makes? 116 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,537 - [audience laughter] - [laughs] Shirley! 117 00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:48,997 Of course, I'm here for your conference! Yeah! 118 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,500 Well, it's so great that you're here, 119 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,252 and I will see you in Ballroom One. 120 00:04:53,252 --> 00:04:55,587 - Absolutely! I'll see you inside. - Okay. 121 00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:58,465 Twin beds? Come on, now, that's not cool. 122 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,218 Shirley Chisholm. [audience cheering] 123 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,470 Reverend Jesse Jackson? 124 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:07,224 Shirley, now, you are a sister that is no-nonsense. 125 00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:10,602 I can only assume you are here for our conference. 126 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,854 [audience laughter] 127 00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:13,856 Jesse, I am here, 128 00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:15,649 and I got your back. 129 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:18,861 I came for your conference. Yes, it is Black. 130 00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:20,696 - [audience laughter] - I cannot wait 131 00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:22,531 to share my ideas that are new. 132 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:26,493 I look forward to seeing you in Ballroom Number Two. 133 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,412 Thank you. [audience laughter] 134 00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:31,206 Shirley, baby, look, I'm gettin' a bad vibe about this place. 135 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:34,001 - Let's just go home. - No, we can't! We just started the farce! 136 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,752 - The farce? - Uh, I mean, 137 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,379 th-th-the force. 138 00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:40,841 The force of our love and romance. 139 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,259 - Just get the key! - Okay. 140 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:44,011 Okay, alright. I'll take the key, I'll take the key. 141 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:47,347 ANNOUNCER: Coming up on the next episode of Shirley!... 142 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:51,018 Flo, the feminists and the Black Caucus are here at the Watergate. 143 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,103 I wanna get them both to endorse me. 144 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,980 I need you to bring me two different outfits. 145 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,524 While I'm downstairs, I need you to stay here 146 00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,151 and keep Conrad in the bathtub. 147 00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:01,820 CONRAD: Shirley, should I put on one of those mud masks? 148 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:02,821 It's all in the mole. 149 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,865 [imitating Shirley]: That sounds good, baby! 150 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:05,741 [normal voice]: I got this, girl. 151 00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,662 MEL: "Typhoid Mary" 152 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,039 Don't breathe on me, please. 153 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:16,793 ♪ lively Celtic music ♪ 154 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,379 Hey! It's me, Mary, 155 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,257 or as I'm known in some circles, Typhoid Mary. 156 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:26,220 And welcome to my cooking channel, "Eat, Drink and be Mary." 157 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:29,431 Just to catch you up, I have been accused of giving typhoid, 158 00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:32,684 a highly contagious and fatal disease spread through food, 159 00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:34,561 to hundreds of people that I've cooked for, 160 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,522 which, you know, while it's ridiculous, 161 00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:39,274 I do appreciate the opportunity to create a brand. 162 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:42,361 Now, today we are going to be making corned beef and cabbage, 163 00:06:42,361 --> 00:06:43,820 a classic Irish dish. 164 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,990 As traditional to Ireland as alcoholism and shame. 165 00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:51,370 [racking cough] 166 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,957 [panting, gasping] [wiping hands] 167 00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:57,960 So, before we get going... [stomach gurgling] 168 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,879 Uh-oh! I got something cookin'. [farts] 169 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,924 And no, it's not in the oven. It's in my pants. 170 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,676 [farts] I gotta go have a shit. 171 00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:08,095 Don't you go anywhere. Love you! 172 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:15,310 MEL: And now, back to "The Last Supper Sessions." 173 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,521 [guitar strumming] LUKE [sings falsetto]: Frogs and locusts! 174 00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:20,899 ♪ Frogs and locusts, so in love ♪ 175 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:23,443 MARK: I think the whole thing would work better lower. 176 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,820 LUKE: Too high for me, mate. 177 00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:28,740 How come Jesus isn't wearing any shoes? 178 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:32,536 Maybe you should be asking why you're wearing shoes. 179 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,329 [strumming continues] 180 00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:35,414 Far out, man. 181 00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:36,999 - [stops strumming] - Ah! This is so frustrating. 182 00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:38,834 Nothing's working! MARK: I think, 183 00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:41,753 respectfully, you need to, uh, pick up your accent, mate. 184 00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:43,005 You're from Nazareth. 185 00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:45,340 Mm, no. I'm from North Carolina. 186 00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,593 Nobody told me that when I signed up for this, 187 00:07:47,593 --> 00:07:49,011 I had to have a Liverpoolian accent! 188 00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:50,429 [no accent]: Are we dropping the accent?! 189 00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:52,181 Yes! We're dropping the accent! MARK: No. 190 00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:53,640 Oh, thank God! MARK: No. No! 191 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,100 We're committing to the bit! 192 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:58,395 - We're keeping the accents! - Lads, lads, lads, listen! 193 00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:00,063 We're just in a bit of a rut. 194 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,357 We need a pick-me-up, that's all. Okay? 195 00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:03,901 Is it possible 196 00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,360 to turn this goat milk to rosé? 197 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,030 Mate, no. 198 00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:10,949 [Scouse accent]: [laughs] Hey, Jesus! Look who I found! 199 00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,075 Yes! 200 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,244 It's Lazarus! [cheering] 201 00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:15,162 [gasps] 202 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,247 JESUS: L.L.! Lazarus! Yes! MARY: Lazzie! 203 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:20,000 I played with Laz out in Galilee. He's wild, man. Wild. 204 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,629 Hey now, that show was out of sight! 205 00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:24,838 MARK: Oh. [loud laugh] 206 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:28,008 [laughing] Wow... Wow. 207 00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,219 Hey, wh-where's Judas? 208 00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:32,137 [strumming] LUKE: Well, you know... 209 00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,556 - [awkward mumbling] - Judas left the band. 210 00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:37,267 - He did. - And so, we're missing a whole... 211 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:40,896 [strumming continues] dimension of sound, you know? So... 212 00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:43,232 JESUS: We really haven't spoke about it. 213 00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:44,858 Why don't you play something for us, mate? 214 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,735 LAZARUS: Me? JESUS: Yeah, mate. I mean, 215 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:48,237 we'd love to have you, mate. 216 00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:50,989 MARK: You could give us the extra dimension we're looking for. 217 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:53,450 Wow. Uh, yeah, I guess I could try something, I don't... 218 00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:54,743 See what it's all about. 219 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:57,162 [lively electric piano] JESUS: Bring us back from the dead, mate. 220 00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:59,206 Yes! MARK: Yes! Wow. 221 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,416 - [impressed chatter] - That's good. 222 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:02,751 Pure butter. [projector clicks] 223 00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,711 ♪ Don't get me down ♪ 224 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,421 ♪ 225 00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:08,006 ♪ From the cross, yeah ♪ 226 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,383 [obnoxious bleating] 227 00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:11,385 ♪ Don't get me down ♪ 228 00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:13,846 ♪ I came to die here for your sins ♪ 229 00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:15,514 [bleating continues] 230 00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:17,808 ♪ Don't get me down ♪ 231 00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:19,768 [weak laugh] [clapping] 232 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,019 Hey, Jude. 233 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:24,523 You know, I want you to know I had my come-to-Jesus moment, and... 234 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,444 Told me to come back to Jesus. 235 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,199 Of course, lad. You're forgiven. 236 00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:36,785 Honk! 237 00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:42,833 Honk if I love Jesus, and I do. 238 00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:45,752 MARK: All are friends again. There we go. 239 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,546 Alright, so have we decided where we're gonna play? 240 00:09:47,546 --> 00:09:49,006 JESUS: Oh... 241 00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:51,175 Why don't we just do it on the bloody roof? 242 00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:52,759 Be great for my hair, wouldn't it? 243 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,136 Your hair would look great. 244 00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:56,013 Your hair would look problematic. 245 00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:58,515 Yeah. MARK: Alright then. 246 00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:00,475 JESUS: Alright. LUKE: There's my man Judas. 247 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,019 It's the end of the session! 248 00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:06,106 [farting, water splashing] MARY: Oh! That's straight water. 249 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:09,276 There's no substance to that at all. It just fell right out of there. 250 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:10,903 Oh! Woo! [fart, splash] 251 00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:12,696 [sighs] I don't have any toilet paper! 252 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,406 Get this guy right here... 253 00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:16,491 Ha, resourceful! 254 00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:17,784 [view count clicking] 255 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,204 [groaning, yelling] [farting, splashing] 256 00:10:20,204 --> 00:10:21,288 Ow! 257 00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:24,833 ♪ Ooh, ooh, Shirley... ♪ 258 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,835 [studio audience applauds] 259 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:29,505 JESSE JACKSON: The white politicians continue to fuck us, 260 00:10:29,505 --> 00:10:32,716 and that's why we started our own Black political caucus. 261 00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:33,884 That's "fuck us." 262 00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:35,886 - Jesse! - Shirley! 263 00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:37,930 What's happenin', Jesse? Gimme five! 264 00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:39,348 Black hand side! 265 00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:40,599 Down low? 266 00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:42,059 You're too slow! 267 00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:43,894 [audience laughter] 268 00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:46,772 So, as a member of the Black community, 269 00:10:46,772 --> 00:10:49,149 I was hoping that I would get your support in the election. 270 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,568 Well, maybe you will, 271 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,695 if you give a speech at the podium. 272 00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:55,656 - Pig in a blanket? - Not for me. 273 00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:57,658 Too much sodium. [studio audience laughs] 274 00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,618 How do you do that? [laughs] Doesn't matter. 275 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,078 Why don't we do it right now? 276 00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:02,538 [imitates tire screech] 277 00:11:02,538 --> 00:11:05,624 I'd love to hear you speak, uh, that would be fun, 278 00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:07,209 but you cannot take the podium 279 00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:09,753 until Mr. Charlie Rangel is done. 280 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:13,715 [Conrad scat singing] [water splashing] 281 00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:16,718 [audience laughter] 282 00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:21,056 - Did you lock up either endorsement? - [whispers]: Not yet! 283 00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:24,476 I'm telling you, a song will really win them over. 284 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:27,187 No, no. No song. 285 00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,232 No gimmicks. No catchphrases. 286 00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:32,442 And you can Shirley count on that! 287 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,653 [audience laughter] 288 00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:36,780 So, how's it going with Conrad? [water splashing] 289 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,240 CONRAD: Shirley, who are you talking to? 290 00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:41,618 BOTH: Nobody, baby! 291 00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,246 [audience laughter] [grumbling] 292 00:11:44,246 --> 00:11:48,208 CONRAD: You better be getting ready 'cause I am shaving myself clean in here. 293 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,794 [audience laughter] 294 00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:52,337 You owe me for this. 295 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,089 [imitating]: Oh, that's good, baby! 296 00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:56,884 I love you silky smooth. 297 00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:57,885 [studio audience laughs] 298 00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,053 ALL: 299 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:04,141 Burn, baby, burn! 300 00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:07,144 [all cheering and applauding] 301 00:12:07,144 --> 00:12:09,479 GLORIA STEINEM: Yes, yes, yes! 302 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:10,772 Shirley! SHIRLEY: Yeah! So, Gloria, 303 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:13,609 are you ready to take that photograph now for the magazine? 304 00:12:13,609 --> 00:12:16,153 You know what, in a few minutes because right now, we're burning our bras. 305 00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:19,072 - Oh! Well, uh, d-- count me in! - Yes! 306 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,741 [all cheering] 307 00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:22,826 - That smells like freedom. - Yes. Oh! 308 00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:25,245 [cheering continues] 309 00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:29,041 Um, so how long does this take? 310 00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:32,211 The D cups take about four minutes, and the B cups about two minutes. 311 00:12:32,211 --> 00:12:35,672 Okay, I would say this is like a C-average room, 312 00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:38,050 so three minutes, got it! Okay. 313 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:40,135 [clapping] GLORIA: Yes, throw them in, women! 314 00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:42,513 Throw them in! [cheering] 315 00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:45,891 ♪ 316 00:12:47,226 --> 00:12:50,229 [audience laughter] 317 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,571 Write this down. "We want James Brown." 318 00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:01,323 [audience laughter] 319 00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:03,659 I don't wanna push, I'm not gonna preach, 320 00:13:03,659 --> 00:13:06,119 but I'm going up there and giving a speech. 321 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,538 I want you up there 322 00:13:07,538 --> 00:13:10,249 for the votes you will earn, but I'm sorry to say... 323 00:13:11,542 --> 00:13:12,876 it is Ron Dellums' turn. 324 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,711 Ron Dellums! [clapping] 325 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:17,130 Damn it! [studio laughter] 326 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,842 ♪ 327 00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:22,302 GLORIA: Now, are we making it a walk, 328 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,471 or a march? Oh! 329 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:27,182 Oh, Shirley. You changed... 330 00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:28,684 Yes. 331 00:13:28,684 --> 00:13:30,644 Oh, um... [nervous laugh] 332 00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:32,312 Burning that bra felt so good, 333 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,940 I just burned the rest of my outfit. 334 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:37,943 [audience laughter] Can we please take that picture now? 335 00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:39,194 GLORIA: Yes. Everyone! 336 00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:41,822 Photo with presidential candidate Shirley Chisholm! 337 00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:43,490 Get in here, Bella! 338 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,242 Let's do it. Let's go. Here we go. [laughter] 339 00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:46,827 [fire alarm ringing] Oh, my God! 340 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,245 Fire! Fire! 341 00:13:48,245 --> 00:13:50,289 Everybody get out! [panicked screaming] 342 00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:54,001 L-let's take the picture first! Come back! Let's ta-- Ladies, let-- 343 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:57,504 Let's take the picture first! Let's... [sighs] If we don't take the photo, 344 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,131 the men win! 345 00:13:59,131 --> 00:14:01,884 [audience laughter] 346 00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:04,511 [alarm continues] 347 00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,848 This is my best bra. 348 00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,641 [audience laughter] 349 00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:11,059 [cheering] ANNOUNCER: Shirley! will be back 350 00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:13,979 after some commercials starring OJ Simpson. 351 00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:21,236 MEL: "The Mongolian Empire" 352 00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:23,947 ♪ Asiatic music ♪ 353 00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:27,618 Kublai Khan controlled more land than any person 354 00:14:27,618 --> 00:14:30,454 in the history of the world! Part II. 355 00:14:30,454 --> 00:14:32,414 But, as the saying goes, 356 00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:36,376 "Behind every great man is 10,000 women." 357 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,170 ♪ Real Housewives -esque theme ♪ 358 00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:40,130 CHABI: I'm Chabi. 359 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,882 I'm not a wife of Kublai Khan. 360 00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:44,092 I'm his number-one wife. 361 00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,887 EHRI: I'm Ehri, and in Xanadu, 362 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:49,973 you Xana- don't wanna cross me. 363 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:52,809 NAMBUI: My name is Nambui, and I'm grateful for the Khan. 364 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:55,395 Now my parents have fresh meat to eat every day! 365 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:58,565 CRYSTAL: I'm Crystal, and these other concs don't scare me 366 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,817 because I'm from Beverly Hills. 367 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:03,904 KAYLA: I'm Kayla. KAYLAH: And I'm Kaylah. 368 00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:06,865 BOTH: And we're double the fun and double the trouble. 369 00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:08,367 [sheep bleats] 370 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,872 [bleats] 371 00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:15,457 WOMEN: And we're the Real Concubines... 372 00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,084 MORE WOMEN: And we're the Real Concubines... 373 00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:18,418 EVEN MORE: And we're the Real Concubines... 374 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:22,464 And we're the Real Concubines of Kublai Khan! 375 00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:23,382 ♪ 376 00:15:23,382 --> 00:15:27,344 Welcome to The Real Concubines of Kublai Khan Reunion. 377 00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:29,680 I'm your host, Andy Khan. 378 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,181 We have a great show tonight. 379 00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:33,183 Kublai Khan has so many wives, 380 00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:35,185 and we have so little time, 381 00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,896 so I wanna jump right into it. 382 00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:39,731 - Chabi! - Hey, Andy. 383 00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,984 Recently, you and Ehri have had a little drama. 384 00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,777 There's no drama, Andy. 385 00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,738 My son is 100% heir to the throne. 386 00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:47,906 The Oracle confirmed it. 387 00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:49,324 Nope. CHABI: And Ehri 388 00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:51,034 is just freaked out because she's insecure 389 00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:53,287 about her relationship with our husband. 390 00:15:53,287 --> 00:15:55,080 [laughs] Well, you know what they say. 391 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,457 "Oracles are for whore-acles." 392 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:58,500 [gasps, laughs] CHABI: You know, 393 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:01,378 Kublai calls you his number two for a reason. 394 00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:02,838 You stink like a pile of dung! 395 00:16:02,838 --> 00:16:04,715 You don't know what Koob says 396 00:16:04,715 --> 00:16:07,426 or does to me the two minutes a week we're together. 397 00:16:07,426 --> 00:16:09,386 Two minutes? Only two minutes? I get four. 398 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,930 Now, this is not the first time Chabi and Ehri 399 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,349 have gone at each other. Everyone agrees 400 00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:17,853 the craziest moment of the season 401 00:16:17,853 --> 00:16:21,815 was the Festival of the Blood Moon Charity Gala. Let's take a look. 402 00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:25,194 How dare you bring your son here. 403 00:16:25,194 --> 00:16:28,447 This is my son Travis's first Blood Moon Festival. 404 00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:31,158 You know what? It just so happens that this is also my son, 405 00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:33,827 who's also named Travis's first Blood Moon Festival, 406 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:35,621 so you need to back off. 407 00:16:35,621 --> 00:16:37,706 And you get that stinking finger outta my face. 408 00:16:37,706 --> 00:16:39,791 I swear to God, I don't know where it's been. 409 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:42,461 It's stinking 'cause it's been up our husband's ass [bleep], 410 00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:45,005 and maybe if yours had been, your son would be the actual heir. 411 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:48,884 - [ladies gasping, yelling] - Sup, ladies! Daddy's home. 412 00:16:48,884 --> 00:16:50,802 [indistinct arguing] 413 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,012 Oh shit... 414 00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:57,518 [arguing, bleeping continues] 415 00:16:57,518 --> 00:16:59,978 EHRI: I am the mother of the spawn of Khan, bitch! 416 00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:02,523 - You look like a fool. You look like a fool - You look like a fool! 417 00:17:02,523 --> 00:17:04,358 - [bleating] - Shut the [beep] up! 418 00:17:04,358 --> 00:17:05,442 Flopsy, Flopsy, stop. [bleating] 419 00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:06,443 Bitch, I coulda taken you! 420 00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:08,278 [shouting, bleeping] 421 00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:09,530 I'm sorry you're a virgin! 422 00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:12,074 I'm a virgin? I have a son! ANDY: Ladies, ladies, sit down. 423 00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:14,576 Everyone stop, everyone stop. Ladies! 424 00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:16,620 That clip did give us 425 00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:19,373 one of the biggest memes of the season. 426 00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:23,001 It's been rewoven over 10 times! 427 00:17:23,544 --> 00:17:25,337 "I want to talk to the manager." 428 00:17:25,337 --> 00:17:28,632 "I am the manager." Amazing. 429 00:17:28,924 --> 00:17:31,051 Nambui, what about you? 430 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:33,595 Are you Team Chabi or Team Ehri? 431 00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:36,557 You know, I have to say, t I liked it better when we were all a team. 432 00:17:36,557 --> 00:17:39,268 You know, all of us concs have a bond. 433 00:17:39,268 --> 00:17:41,603 Or as I call it, a concu-bond. 434 00:17:42,688 --> 00:17:44,106 [voice breaking]: You know what? 435 00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:46,358 [gasps] You are so right. 436 00:17:46,358 --> 00:17:48,610 [gasps] And I had so lost sight of that. 437 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,946 Me, too! Like... 438 00:17:50,946 --> 00:17:52,739 You guys are my sister-in-laws. 439 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,366 Like, you're actually... 440 00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:56,326 You're my sister wives. 441 00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:57,327 NAMBUI: Yes! [gasps] 442 00:17:57,327 --> 00:18:00,539 Crystal, I gotta say, I've never seen you cry before. 443 00:18:00,539 --> 00:18:02,332 Oh, I'm not crying about them. 444 00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:05,711 I'm crying because the Italian marble for my Malibu reno, 445 00:18:05,711 --> 00:18:07,462 it's on back order. 446 00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:09,631 - [all gasp] - Aww. 447 00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:13,302 Well, this one ended on a really sweet note. 448 00:18:13,302 --> 00:18:14,803 Uh, before we wrap things up, 449 00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:18,307 does anyone have a small business they wanna promote? 450 00:18:18,307 --> 00:18:20,559 Okay, all of you. 451 00:18:20,559 --> 00:18:22,603 - Uh, Chabi? - Thank you, Andy. 452 00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:26,273 I'm so excited to announce that my new hat line, 453 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:29,401 "Shy By Chabi," is dropping soon. 454 00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:32,988 It's perfect for the nomadic, but sassy, lifestyle. 455 00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,448 That's great. When are they coming out? 456 00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:36,491 September... [beads rattling] 457 00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:39,077 Sum... Er... Spring. Spring. 458 00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,454 How about you, Ehri? 459 00:18:40,454 --> 00:18:43,540 I'm so thrilled to announce the drop of my new alcohol brand, 460 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,918 Skinny Khan Margaritas. 461 00:18:45,918 --> 00:18:48,086 [rattling] Zero sugar, zero drama. 462 00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:50,547 Bitch, you better tell your hat to shut the [beep] up! 463 00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:53,884 WOMEN: And we're the Real Concubines of Kublai Khan! 464 00:18:56,011 --> 00:18:57,888 MARY: Step [cough] three! 465 00:18:57,888 --> 00:18:59,848 I'm going to take my cabbage. 466 00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:01,099 And I never use a knife. 467 00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:03,852 I always use my fingers to tear it up. 468 00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:06,980 If you get any little bits of cabbage under your fingernails, 469 00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:09,107 oh, don't you worry. You just pick it out 470 00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:10,734 and throw 'em in the pot. 471 00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:13,278 It all ends up in the same place anyway. The toilet. 472 00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:15,864 [coughing] 473 00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:26,291 ♪ Ooh, ooh, Shirley ♪ 474 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:27,751 [studio audience applauding] 475 00:19:27,751 --> 00:19:29,711 SHIRLEY: I didn't plan any of this, 476 00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:32,256 but when I saw you two were here tonight, 477 00:19:32,256 --> 00:19:34,633 I had to try to get both of your endorsements. 478 00:19:34,633 --> 00:19:37,845 Baby girl, we love and support you. 479 00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:39,596 We just can't endorse you. [audience laughter] 480 00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:41,640 JACKSON: This is also true for us. 481 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,267 We think you're great, 482 00:19:43,267 --> 00:19:45,644 it's just too much fuss. [laughter] 483 00:19:45,644 --> 00:19:47,437 It's 1972. 484 00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,606 Don't you wanna see a Black woman as president? 485 00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:50,941 We definitely want a woman. 486 00:19:51,817 --> 00:19:54,820 Just one that can win, like George McGovern. 487 00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:56,864 [audience laughter] 488 00:19:56,864 --> 00:20:00,242 And we definitely want a Black person, can't you see? 489 00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:03,203 But just, maybe a Black man. 490 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:05,247 Someone... like me. 491 00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:07,833 [audience laughter] 492 00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:09,585 Love you, fro, but we gotta go. 493 00:20:09,585 --> 00:20:11,461 GLORIA: Okay, bye! 494 00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:13,922 [audience awwing] 495 00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:18,594 Shirley St. Anita Hill Chisholm. 496 00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:21,013 Looks like I figured out 497 00:20:21,013 --> 00:20:23,765 the mystery of the lying wife. 498 00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:25,517 [audience laughter] 499 00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:28,520 Conrad! In a robe? In a hotel? 500 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:31,106 With my best friend? How could you? 501 00:20:31,106 --> 00:20:34,568 Oh, stop it. He knows. [audience laughter] 502 00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,737 [sighs] I-I'm sorry, Conrad. 503 00:20:36,737 --> 00:20:39,198 I got all caught up in the campaign, 504 00:20:39,198 --> 00:20:40,657 and then, they started burning the bras, 505 00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,701 and it set off the fire alarm. 506 00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:44,703 Oh, I-I pulled the fire alarm. 507 00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:48,749 Conrad was about to come out the bathtub naked. I panicked! 508 00:20:48,749 --> 00:20:50,083 [audience laughter] 509 00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:51,668 That's only because I bring the heat. 510 00:20:52,628 --> 00:20:56,632 This weekend was supposed to be all about our anniversary, 511 00:20:56,632 --> 00:21:00,594 and instead, I made it all about me and my job. 512 00:21:00,594 --> 00:21:03,347 - [studio audience awwing] - It's okay, honey. 513 00:21:03,347 --> 00:21:04,765 You know what they say. 514 00:21:04,765 --> 00:21:08,227 "Politics makes for strange bedfellows." 515 00:21:08,227 --> 00:21:11,104 Speaking of, why don't we go upstairs 516 00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:15,067 - and turn up your heat? - Ooh, there we go. 517 00:21:15,067 --> 00:21:18,946 And this is turning my stomach. Where's that damn window? 518 00:21:18,946 --> 00:21:21,156 [audience laughter] 519 00:21:21,156 --> 00:21:24,701 I love you, Conrad Chisholm. [studio audience awwing] 520 00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:26,620 Excuse me? Sorry. 521 00:21:26,620 --> 00:21:29,414 I'm looking for the Democratic National Committee? 522 00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,124 CONRAD: Well, you're at the Watergate Hotel. 523 00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:33,085 You want the Watergate Office Building. 524 00:21:33,085 --> 00:21:35,295 It's down the hall, out the exit, and across the alley. 525 00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:38,882 Thanks. Walk this way, boys. 526 00:21:38,882 --> 00:21:41,885 [audience laughter] 527 00:21:41,885 --> 00:21:43,720 Did they look suspicious? 528 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:47,349 No, I'm a private investigator. There's nothing suspicious about that. 529 00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:49,977 ♪ Ooh, ooh, Shirley ♪ 530 00:21:49,977 --> 00:21:51,937 [applause, laughter] 531 00:21:53,856 --> 00:21:55,524 MEL: And now for the conclusion 532 00:21:55,524 --> 00:21:57,776 of "The Last Supper Sessions." 533 00:21:57,776 --> 00:21:59,695 [crowd chatter] 534 00:21:59,695 --> 00:22:01,530 [speaker crackling] 535 00:22:01,530 --> 00:22:03,240 MARK: Let's see what we got here. 536 00:22:04,283 --> 00:22:05,742 So, we're on the roof then? 537 00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:08,036 [street chatter] 538 00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:10,247 [guitar strumming] 539 00:22:10,247 --> 00:22:12,666 WOMAN: Hi, Mary! [electric piano playing] 540 00:22:12,666 --> 00:22:14,793 ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 541 00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:17,838 You know, the acoustics up here are actually very lovely. 542 00:22:17,838 --> 00:22:20,883 - La, la, la, la, la. - No, look, mate, it's "looovley." 543 00:22:20,883 --> 00:22:22,342 "Looooovley." 544 00:22:22,342 --> 00:22:24,928 Let me try that. Ooh, ooh... Fuck yourself. 545 00:22:24,928 --> 00:22:26,430 Oh... 546 00:22:26,430 --> 00:22:28,056 JESUS: Alright, lads, are we ready? 547 00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:29,016 Let's do this, baby! 548 00:22:29,016 --> 00:22:30,434 - [drumsticks clack] - One, two, three, go! 549 00:22:30,434 --> 00:22:31,810 [electricity sparks] 550 00:22:31,810 --> 00:22:33,687 Oh! MARK: Oh no! Peter, what the shit? 551 00:22:33,687 --> 00:22:36,273 - Don't touch him! - Oh! It's not the wiring! 552 00:22:36,273 --> 00:22:37,858 Help him out, lad, he got zapped. 553 00:22:37,858 --> 00:22:39,985 - Help him, Jesus, help him. - And rise. 554 00:22:39,985 --> 00:22:41,987 [gasps] Let's do this, babies! 555 00:22:41,987 --> 00:22:42,696 Praise Jesus! 556 00:22:42,696 --> 00:22:45,574 MARK: Jesus has brought Lazarus back from the dead! 557 00:22:45,574 --> 00:22:47,367 Lyric boy, where are you? 558 00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:49,620 LYRIC BOY: Coming, coming. MARK: We need the lyrics to sing the song. 559 00:22:49,620 --> 00:22:52,247 - LYRIC BOY: Here you go. - Lyric Boy, come on. Okay, ready, boys? 560 00:22:52,247 --> 00:22:53,790 [drumsticks clacking] One, two, three! 561 00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:56,502 ♪ Get Back -style song plays ♪ 562 00:22:56,502 --> 00:23:00,714 ♪ Lovely Lucy was a pharaoh's daughter ♪ 563 00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:03,759 ♪ Pushing camels through a needle's eye ♪ 564 00:23:03,759 --> 00:23:04,760 [confused chatter] 565 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:08,972 ♪ Her chance of Heaven was slim, so she cashed it all in ♪ 566 00:23:08,972 --> 00:23:10,641 ♪ Now, she got taste for humble pie ♪ 567 00:23:10,641 --> 00:23:12,935 I love you, Jesus! 568 00:23:12,935 --> 00:23:16,772 ♪ She said give back, give back ♪ 569 00:23:16,772 --> 00:23:18,148 ♪ Girl, you can't take it with you ♪ 570 00:23:18,148 --> 00:23:19,983 ♪ Might as well give it back ♪ 571 00:23:20,651 --> 00:23:21,902 ♪ Give back ♪ 572 00:23:21,902 --> 00:23:24,780 SOLDIER: Make way, make way. Let's go. Clear it out. Heads up. 573 00:23:24,780 --> 00:23:26,198 ♪ If you wanna get to Heaven ♪ 574 00:23:26,198 --> 00:23:27,783 ♪ Better give back ♪ 575 00:23:27,783 --> 00:23:30,911 ♪ decrescendo, crescendo ♪ 576 00:23:30,911 --> 00:23:33,789 [crowd cheering] 577 00:23:33,789 --> 00:23:35,624 It's Jesus and his apostles. 578 00:23:35,624 --> 00:23:38,293 They're ruining the bloody bazaar! 579 00:23:38,293 --> 00:23:42,256 How am I supposed to sell me dried donkey cock? 580 00:23:42,256 --> 00:23:45,342 ♪ Give back, give back, give something back ♪ 581 00:23:45,342 --> 00:23:48,804 - [excited chatter] - Come on, boys. Let's go deal with it. 582 00:23:48,804 --> 00:23:51,306 ♪ She said give back ♪ 583 00:23:51,306 --> 00:23:53,141 ♪ Give back ♪ 584 00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:54,810 ♪ Can't just be a taker ♪ 585 00:23:54,810 --> 00:23:57,187 ♪ Gotta give something back now ♪ 586 00:23:57,187 --> 00:23:59,565 ♪ Give back, come on, give back ♪ 587 00:23:59,565 --> 00:24:00,607 ♪ 588 00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:04,236 ♪ If you wanna get to Heaven, gotta give back... ♪ 589 00:24:04,236 --> 00:24:07,155 SOLDIER: Alright, let's go. We're done here. That's about enough of this. 590 00:24:07,155 --> 00:24:09,908 And so, the song has come to its natural conclusion. 591 00:24:09,908 --> 00:24:11,785 MARK: Whoa, whoa. LUKE: Hey, hey, what the-- 592 00:24:11,785 --> 00:24:13,120 Jesus! 593 00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:15,247 MARK: Whoa, whoa! What's all this? Hey, what is going on? 594 00:24:15,247 --> 00:24:17,833 Huh. Judas never showed up. Weird. 595 00:24:17,833 --> 00:24:20,419 [crowd booing] 596 00:24:20,419 --> 00:24:21,837 Pleasure doing business with you. 597 00:24:21,837 --> 00:24:24,882 [coins jingle] Feel like a bit of a traitor to be honest. 598 00:24:24,882 --> 00:24:27,176 You know who's a traitor is fuckin' Tom Brady. 599 00:24:27,176 --> 00:24:29,636 And Johnny Damon. And Babe Ruth. 600 00:24:29,636 --> 00:24:32,264 All fuckin' traitors, all fake. 601 00:24:32,264 --> 00:24:34,016 Like this fuckin' set. Look at this! 602 00:24:34,016 --> 00:24:36,476 Supposed to be a street. It's a fuckin' carpet! 603 00:24:36,476 --> 00:24:38,312 [no accent]: Man, I really, I don't know how you got on set, 604 00:24:38,312 --> 00:24:40,230 but I'm just trying to... We're just trying to do our job. 605 00:24:40,230 --> 00:24:41,523 Oh, I'm sorry. Am I ruining 606 00:24:41,523 --> 00:24:43,358 your little student film here? Is that what's happening? 607 00:24:43,358 --> 00:24:45,527 No, this is History of the World, Part II for Hulu. 608 00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:47,446 - Mel Brooks? You ever heard of him? - Yeah, I heard of-- 609 00:24:47,446 --> 00:24:49,615 There's no way that Mel Brooks is a part of this. 610 00:24:49,615 --> 00:24:50,824 Where's crafty? 611 00:24:50,824 --> 00:24:53,243 I need a fucking warmer for my Dunkin'. [beep] 612 00:24:53,243 --> 00:24:56,246 ♪ Get Back-style riff ♪