(upbeat music)
My good sirs, thank you for joining me here.
This is our apartment.
Well, thank you for inviting me.
KEVIN: You asked to come over.
Mmm.
Do either of you know what this is?
‐Paper. ‐Yeah, paper.
Paper. From the DMV.
(gasps) No!
And I'm supposed to fill it out and get a new ID card.
But it's super long, and I don't want to.
Let's throw it in the trash.
Tanya, there's only three lines to fill out.
Easy peasy.
Kevin, there is nothing
"peasy" about this.
You want to know what's really at stake?
‐Lives? ‐This.
‐Whoa. ‐TANYA: My old ID.
Ooh, Tanya, you look cool as hell there.
How are you wearing sunglasses?
Isn't that illegal?
It's not about how cool I look,
or what laws I broke.
Check out the address.
123 Street Street. That's your old street!
Old Street Street.
We had good times at that place.
And when I look at this ID,
I remember those times.
It's like a little time machine in my pocket.
Now, Tanya, that's a beautiful concept,
but this ID's been expired for weeks.
Is that why you keep asking me to buy you beer?
I'm getting a new ID, I am.
But I want to procrastinate for as long as possible,
because I hate it. And that's why I'm here!
I need distractions.
Well, if you're gonna procrastinate,
let's at least do something fun.
No. True procrastination
requires the appearance of work.
Cleaning a room, organizing a desk.
Ah! I've got it!
Come on, meeting adjourned.
Can he adjourn your meeting?
We're going off‐book on this one.
Mm. This is how institutions erode.
(electronic music)
I didn't know you guys had a backyard.
ERNESTO: Yeah, our landlord said it's dangerous,
but I say with a little work,
this could be our own secret paradise.
Huh. I can totally see it.
We clear out the bushes, ooh, we put up some lights.
Pretty soon, we've got a place to make new memories, right?
And this would easily take up my whole weekend.
It'll be like my DMV paperwork doesn't even exist!
Let's get started!
Okay, I guess I'll help, too,
but only because I love making memories.
I call it new nostalgia.
(upbeat music)
Huh. Lot bigger on the inside.
All right, let's go that way.
Why don't we just start here?
I've already got a pile going.
Hmm, doesn't feel like the right place.
Tanya, are you procrastinating
your procrastination now?
Because that's twice as bad. Maybe even three times!
Heck, maybe even four!
(groans) Kevin, we get it.
You're good at math.
But let's follow Tanya. This was her idea.
No, this was your idea.
Wait, you never sent that email, did you?
(scoffs) What?
What email?
Oh, Ernesto was supposed to email
his college friend, Pietro,
that he can't make it to his wedding.
But Ernesto's been putting it off for weeks.
Almost like some kind of procrastination?
Wait, why don't you want to go to Pietro's wedding?
I thought he played keyboards?
He's sick at keyboards.
But I don't know any of his friends now.
And I'd have to go alone. What if they don't like me?
What if they like me too much and it gets weird?
It's just a lot of pressure.
But saying no, that's also pressure.
It is a high‐pressure situation,
like my ID card in many ways.
Yeah, and what if wandering
around this improbable forest isn't the answer?
Are we making things worse for ourselves?
Hmm. Kev, you've sort of been
the voice of reason today.
‐KEVIN: (chuckling) ‐Kev? Kev!
Whoo! (laughter)
What? There's like a million flowers!
And they're all different, beautiful colors.
We should live here!
Hey, Kev! Come on!
(ominous music)
Let's do this!
(majestic music builds)
(ominous music)
‐What the fuck? ‐TANYA: Ernesto!
Can you get through this?
(grunts) Whoa.
(whistling)
TANYA: Ooh.
KEVIN: Man.
ALL: Whoa!
(dark music)
(snoring)
Uh, who's that?
(phone ringing)
Oh, uh‐‐
(stammers)
Uh, spam call.
(grunting)
(deep roar)
Just stretching. What time is it?
It is 2:30.
I slept for 300 years?
Impressive.
My alarm didn't go off, I guess.
No worries. Time to get up.
Who are you?
I'm Tanya, and these are my bros,
‐Ernesto... ‐Hey.
‐And Kevin. ‐Hey!
What up?
I am the guardian of the forest of the backyard,
one of an ancient order of mythical beings
tasked with protecting places of natural power.
Whoo!
We're in a band.
Hey! Did you know there's a bunch
of creepy‐ass vines all over the place?
Yeah. Invasive species.
I gotta take care of that.
And also some kind of lost civilization?
GUARDIAN: Aww, they're lost?
Damn.
They were doing fine the last time I checked.
I should really take a look at that,
do a little yardwork.
We can help. We brought tools.
GUARDIAN: Wow. You brought tools.
And little hats.
You all look great. I have trimmers over there.
Hmm. But they're all rusty,
so I probably need to oil those.
(groans) That takes so long, though.
You guys want a cup of tea first?
‐Yes, please! ‐Yes, please!
Wait, are we all procrastinating now?
Ernesto, my little honey,
I am magically bound to my duties.
I literally can't not do them.
I just don't feel like doing them at this current time.
Now I'm guessing you're an herbal tea guy.
I am!
Then you're gonna love this shit.
My friend Shohorizad hooks me up.
He's an actual wizard.
ALL: Mmm.
(electronic music)
And then the Order left me here,
and they were like, "Take care of the forest."
Where do I even start?
Pfft. That's bullshit.
GUARDIAN: Yeah! Bullshit.
And very stressful.
But you know what? Hearing that you two
are also procrastinating weirdly makes me feel better
about all this.
We're like the little team that doesn't do anything.
‐Aww. ‐(tea cups clinking)
And why start now, huh?
You know, sometimes I even think
the invasive vines are a good thing.
They're nature too, right,
even if they're blighted by unknown magics?
(phone ringing)
Shohorizad! Yo, dude.
Uh‐huh, uh‐huh, yeah.
300 years. Can you believe it?
I know.
The dwellers of Orlath are all dead, apparently.
Hey, guys, were those vines there before?
No. And where's the flower tunnel?
Okay, we need to get to work now.
No more procrastination.
And I'm gonna draft an email to Pietro
in my head while we work.
Ugh, fine.
(upbeat music)
ALL: (gasp)
My pruners!
Hey, hey, hey. What the fuck is going on?
Don't worry about your tools. That's just a‐‐
little offering to the forest. Just chill.
Sit down. Yeah.
N‐‐no. We need to get to work.
There's a bunch of vines that are just overgrowing‐‐
Just chill. Okay?
Check this shit out. (speaking unknown language)
‐Uh... ‐Hi, handsome.
(ominous music)
Whoa. Three new friends.
I'll get more tea going.
Hey, that stuff with your ID?
Don't even worry about it.
Really?
If you never do it, then you never have to.
It's logic.
It is a kind of logic!
Oh, it's fine to reply to an email
seven weeks later.
It actually makes you seem cooler.
You're right, I have been feeling cooler.
Flowers are just little trees.
I knew it!
And trees?
They're just big flowers.
You're answering so many questions for me.
Ah.
You know, I'm glad we all decided
to keep doing nothing.
Am I right, team?
We've got time.
We've got eternities.
Wait, eternities?
But my DMV paperwork is due on Monday.
Argh! No! We have time.
(grunts) I've been sitting on that email
for seven weeks.
That's almost two months!
That's 2/12 of a year!
1/6 if you reduce the fraction.
Pietro's gonna be upset.
What if he writes a sad keyboard song?
I can't do that to a friend!
Ugh. Stop!
Why are you stressing yourselves out like this?
You're ruining my vibe!
Battle formation.
ALL: (grunt)
Super glad we practiced this battle formation.
(yells)
(indistinct moaning)
(evil laughter)
Uh, run! Everybody fucking run!
Ow! My leg! Ah!
Where do you think you're going?
Wait a second‐‐
(dramatic music)
(yelling)
(guttural yell)
(yells)
BOTH: Whoa!
‐(groans) ‐Come on!
Hey! Real mature.
I have to get a tetanus shot now.
Like I've got the time for that.
Come on, let's go!
(roars)
Quick, get behind me. Push me through it.
(roaring)
Look, Tanya, your ID!
Leave it!
But old Street Street!
It's just a street, dude.
Come on!
(gasps) Hmm.
Damn, blighted magics.
Oh, I hate vines.
(screams)
(epic chase music)
♪♪ ♪♪
Go now!
The spirit of Orlath shall protect you.
(rocks crashing)
Okay.
(electronic music)
(clears throat) Man, that went bad real fast.
Well, I still had a good time.
Yeah, that was cool.
Plus, Pietro's gonna love this story.
Wait, so you're going to the wedding?
I am.
I think it was while we were leaping across the ravine
on the giant deer that I was like, "Life is short."
This kind of zany shit
is what memories are made of, right?
Not ID cards.
Hell yeah.
Adventures forever.
Oh, I'll go back into that forest right now!
Let's all go back in that forest!
ALL: Yeah!
(distant roar)
Actually, no. No, no, no.
You know what? Let's just listen
to music instead.
Uh‐huh, I love music.
That's an adventure for our senses.
(eerie electronic music)