1
00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:20,839
Do you ever get
nostalgic for things you

2
00:00:20,906 --> 00:00:23,112
‐didn't actually experience?

3
00:00:23,179 --> 00:00:24,851
Ugh.

4
00:00:24,918 --> 00:00:26,221
Like the Mongol
conquest?

5
00:00:26,288 --> 00:00:28,963
I was thinking
more like the '60s.

6
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,736
Oh, now that
takes me back‐‐

7
00:00:30,802 --> 00:00:34,212
the 1260s
when we conquered Damascus.

8
00:00:34,279 --> 00:00:35,515
You know, personally
I've always felt like

9
00:00:35,584 --> 00:00:37,154
I should have been
born earlier.

10
00:00:37,221 --> 00:00:38,660
‐Like, how earlier?
‐I don't know.

11
00:00:38,726 --> 00:00:42,469
Anywhere from like
100 to 5,000 years ago.

12
00:00:42,536 --> 00:00:44,678
You wish you were born
5,000 years ago?

13
00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:46,281
Yeah! Probably
would have been

14
00:00:46,348 --> 00:00:48,020
the queen of my own barbarian
tribe or something.

15
00:00:48,087 --> 00:00:51,363
I would way rather do that
than work in an office.

16
00:00:51,430 --> 00:00:53,169
Tanya,
I totally agree.

17
00:00:53,235 --> 00:00:54,674
I probably
would have been

18
00:00:54,741 --> 00:00:56,714
the magistrate
of an ancient city,

19
00:00:56,780 --> 00:00:58,217
and we might've
even been friends.

20
00:00:58,284 --> 00:01:00,457
Yes! We definitely
would have been friends.

21
00:01:00,523 --> 00:01:02,698
You would provide grain
for my people,

22
00:01:02,765 --> 00:01:06,308
and my warriors would offer not
to destroy your city in return.

23
00:01:06,375 --> 00:01:07,947
That does
sound like me.

24
00:01:08,014 --> 00:01:10,220
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
ancient times were terrifying

25
00:01:10,286 --> 00:01:11,625
and filled with danger.

26
00:01:11,692 --> 00:01:14,566
Uh, yeah, that's why
I would be the danger, dude.

27
00:01:14,634 --> 00:01:16,807
And that's why
I would pay her off.

28
00:01:18,044 --> 00:01:19,347
Tanya, hey,
is that your phone?

29
00:01:19,414 --> 00:01:21,386
Ugh, yeah,
it's probably work.

30
00:01:21,453 --> 00:01:24,128
I'm juggling like 37 projects
right now.

31
00:01:24,195 --> 00:01:25,498
But it's Saturday.

32
00:01:25,566 --> 00:01:28,107
Unfortunately,
Saturday is the new Thursday.

33
00:01:28,174 --> 00:01:29,343
What's Thursday then?

34
00:01:29,410 --> 00:01:30,682
Thursday
has always been Tuesday.

35
00:01:30,749 --> 00:01:32,988
Mm. Nobody tells me
these things.

36
00:01:34,492 --> 00:01:35,831
See, if this was ancient times,

37
00:01:35,897 --> 00:01:37,569
nobody would be able to
text me on the weekend.

38
00:01:37,635 --> 00:01:41,079
Yeah, and I wouldn't have to
run my online T‐shirt business.

39
00:01:41,146 --> 00:01:42,785
I could've run
an ancient city.

40
00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:45,458
Kevin, you love
your online T‐shirt business.

41
00:01:45,525 --> 00:01:46,797
What about person carrot?

42
00:01:46,864 --> 00:01:48,467
Designing cute things
to put on T‐shirts

43
00:01:48,534 --> 00:01:50,473
just isn't my destiny.

44
00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:52,681
I want a cooler destiny
than that,

45
00:01:52,748 --> 00:01:55,522
one that's not tied up
in frivolous consumer goods

46
00:01:55,589 --> 00:01:57,427
and brilliant comedic wordplay.

47
00:01:57,494 --> 00:02:00,403
Sadly, Kev, our destinies
may lie in the past.

48
00:02:01,942 --> 00:02:02,978
I have an idea.

49
00:02:03,045 --> 00:02:04,918
How about we go to the
Museum of Ancient History?

50
00:02:04,984 --> 00:02:07,291
That way, we can see
how horrible and scary

51
00:02:07,357 --> 00:02:08,796
old times
actually would have been.

52
00:02:08,863 --> 00:02:11,136
‐KEVIN: Ugh, fine.
‐Ugh!

53
00:02:18,224 --> 00:02:19,561
ERNESTO:
This can't be it.

54
00:02:19,628 --> 00:02:21,032
It says
"Ancient History Museum."

55
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:24,777
Shit, we were looking for
the Museum of Ancient History.

56
00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:28,020
‐TANYA: Uh, same thing?
‐Meh, I guess.

57
00:02:29,959 --> 00:02:31,363
All...right.

58
00:02:31,429 --> 00:02:34,171
What terrifying lessons of
the past should we learn first?

59
00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:37,850
Ooh, terrifying, you say?

60
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,895
Oh, sorry, is this
the Museum of Ancient History?

61
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:44,035
This is the Ancient
History Museum.

62
00:02:44,101 --> 00:02:45,438
Same thingy.

63
00:02:45,505 --> 00:02:47,913
Now, what was that
about terror?

64
00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:50,755
Are we scared
about the ancient world

65
00:02:50,822 --> 00:02:53,229
and its many wonders
and also mysteriosisosis?

66
00:02:53,295 --> 00:02:54,700
I'm not scared.

67
00:02:54,767 --> 00:02:56,639
I'm just trying
to show my friends

68
00:02:56,706 --> 00:02:58,813
that we have it way better
in modern times,

69
00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:01,554
and living in the ancient world
was constantly horrible.

70
00:03:01,621 --> 00:03:03,728
Well, what if I was
to tell you

71
00:03:03,794 --> 00:03:05,734
that you are incorrect
about me,

72
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,207
and that, and this,
and everything?

73
00:03:08,274 --> 00:03:09,377
Oh!

74
00:03:09,443 --> 00:03:10,882
That's exactly what
I was saying.

75
00:03:10,949 --> 00:03:12,921
Well, then you've come to
the right place, tasty dudes!

76
00:03:12,988 --> 00:03:14,927
Who wants
to see some cool swords?

77
00:03:14,994 --> 00:03:16,699
‐BOTH: I do.
‐Well, great!

78
00:03:16,767 --> 00:03:18,672
My next tour starts
right now!

79
00:03:18,738 --> 00:03:20,678
Follow me!
Come, come, come, come!

80
00:03:20,745 --> 00:03:23,118
‐Oh, my God, I love you.
‐Um...

81
00:03:23,185 --> 00:03:24,857
MY name is Gil, BTWs.

82
00:03:24,924 --> 00:03:27,665
It's short for Gilandrical,
Gilandrical Kartorious.

83
00:03:27,732 --> 00:03:29,537
Weird name.
I love it.

84
00:03:29,604 --> 00:03:30,909
Yes, it's very old,

85
00:03:30,976 --> 00:03:32,948
just like everything
in this museum.

86
00:03:33,015 --> 00:03:35,221
Mm, uh...

87
00:03:35,288 --> 00:03:37,997
In ancient times, pretty
much everyone had swords.

88
00:03:38,063 --> 00:03:39,133
Really?

89
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,473
It was as common as,
like, cell phones are now.

90
00:03:41,539 --> 00:03:42,778
‐Wow!
‐Swords were used

91
00:03:42,845 --> 00:03:46,790
to cut people, bread‐‐
lots of stuff.

92
00:03:46,857 --> 00:03:50,433
Um, would any of these happen
to be barbarian swords?

93
00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:52,172
Several in fact, yeah.

94
00:03:52,239 --> 00:03:54,881
This one here was wielded
by a barbarian ruler

95
00:03:54,947 --> 00:03:57,054
who almost took down
all of the Romans,

96
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,628
all of those dudes
and ladies at once.

97
00:03:59,695 --> 00:04:01,299
It was really cool.
Come, you slow‐pokeys!

98
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,272
Don't touch!
Let's go.

99
00:04:04,341 --> 00:04:05,814
What the‐‐hey!

100
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,153
At its peak,
this great <i>ciudad</i>

101
00:04:08,220 --> 00:04:11,062
was home to over
50,000 inhabitants,

102
00:04:11,129 --> 00:04:13,268
and none of them
liked each other, no.

103
00:04:13,335 --> 00:04:15,743
‐No get along gang here!
‐Ooh, Gilandrical,

104
00:04:15,810 --> 00:04:17,648
can I ask a question?

105
00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:19,822
I mean, Gil is fine.
Also, yah.

106
00:04:19,889 --> 00:04:22,129
Gil, theoretically,
would someone

107
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:24,736
who now operates
an online T‐shirt business

108
00:04:24,803 --> 00:04:26,675
have the skills necessary
to become‐‐

109
00:04:26,742 --> 00:04:28,883
oh, I don't know‐‐

110
00:04:28,949 --> 00:04:31,055
magistrate
of such a great city?

111
00:04:31,122 --> 00:04:32,961
Ha ha ha! Oh, yes.

112
00:04:33,028 --> 00:04:35,769
I think it's
a very similar skill set.

113
00:04:35,837 --> 00:04:39,815
But why settle for bureaucracy
when you could be...a god?

114
00:04:41,687 --> 00:04:45,934
These statues represent the
gods of an ancient pantheon.

115
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,976
You've got such classics
as cow person,

116
00:04:49,043 --> 00:04:53,756
cat person, regular cow,
bear person...

117
00:04:53,823 --> 00:04:55,762
‐What the f‐‐
‐GIL: And of course,

118
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,802
this kick‐ass bird/lion hybrid!

119
00:04:57,870 --> 00:04:59,608
That guy looks like me!

120
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,547
Except even more beautiful!

121
00:05:01,614 --> 00:05:04,388
Oh, he does look
like you, huh?

122
00:05:04,455 --> 00:05:06,762
Is no one else
weirded out by this?

123
00:05:06,829 --> 00:05:09,036
These things
look exactly like us.

124
00:05:09,103 --> 00:05:11,945
‐Which one looks like you?
‐Ha. The bear one, obviously.

125
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,451
‐Uh...
‐Eh, not really, dude.

126
00:05:14,518 --> 00:05:17,093
Yeah, that statue is in way
better shape than you are.

127
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,969
It's a statue.
It can't be in shape.

128
00:05:20,036 --> 00:05:22,275
It's made of dirty old clay
or whatever.

129
00:05:22,342 --> 00:05:25,184
It's actually made
of an indestructible minerality

130
00:05:25,251 --> 00:05:28,193
found only at the deepest parts
of the ocean.

131
00:05:28,260 --> 00:05:30,935
Nobody knows how this ancient
civilization even got it.

132
00:05:31,002 --> 00:05:33,576
Okay, I don't believe any of
the shit this dude is saying.

133
00:05:33,643 --> 00:05:35,181
Ernesto, chill, dude.

134
00:05:35,248 --> 00:05:37,187
Are you jealous
because I have a hot statue

135
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:39,794
‐and you don't?
‐I have a hot statue, too!

136
00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:41,099
That's why it's weird!

137
00:05:41,165 --> 00:05:44,041
It's just
a coincidenciality,

138
00:05:44,108 --> 00:05:45,980
an occurrence of things
that are just weird

139
00:05:46,047 --> 00:05:47,652
but do not mean anything,
guys!

140
00:05:47,718 --> 00:05:48,888
Relaxy, please.

141
00:05:48,956 --> 00:05:50,661
We haven't even
seen the mummy yet.

142
00:05:50,727 --> 00:05:52,700
‐You have a mummy?
‐Hells, yeah,

143
00:05:52,767 --> 00:05:54,572
we got those mummies!
Let's go.

144
00:05:59,253 --> 00:06:02,663
Damn it.
Oh, hey, wait, you guys!

145
00:06:03,633 --> 00:06:06,742
I've been getting weird vibes
ever since we walked in here,

146
00:06:06,809 --> 00:06:08,781
and now this guy wants
to show us a mummy?

147
00:06:08,848 --> 00:06:12,827
‐That's a literal dead body.
‐It's a super old dead body.

148
00:06:12,893 --> 00:06:15,034
‐It doesn't count.
‐It's called an antique.

149
00:06:15,101 --> 00:06:17,440
Antique or not,
this place is weird.

150
00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:19,614
Gil is creepy,
and I say we go home.

151
00:06:19,681 --> 00:06:20,784
No, I can't.

152
00:06:20,851 --> 00:06:22,522
The longer I spend here,
the closer I feel

153
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:25,097
to my ancient destiny
as a barbarian ruler.

154
00:06:25,164 --> 00:06:26,936
It is intoxicating.

155
00:06:27,003 --> 00:06:28,608
And the longer
I spend here,

156
00:06:28,675 --> 00:06:31,717
the more I realize I would have
made an incredible god.

157
00:06:31,784 --> 00:06:33,823
One of the best gods,
Ernesto.

158
00:06:33,890 --> 00:06:36,064
Come on!
Let's go check out this mummy.

159
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:37,935
Fine, I'll look
at the dead person,

160
00:06:38,003 --> 00:06:39,941
but if anyone tries to sell us
a museum membership,

161
00:06:40,009 --> 00:06:41,512
I am outta here.

162
00:06:41,580 --> 00:06:42,817
‐KEVIN: Of course!
‐Of course, let's go.

163
00:06:42,883 --> 00:06:44,121
They make you
feel really bad

164
00:06:44,188 --> 00:06:45,859
if you try to cancel‐‐
that's why I still have

165
00:06:45,926 --> 00:06:47,464
my membership
at the Kaleidoscope Museum.

166
00:06:47,530 --> 00:06:49,169
Oh, I love
the Kaleidoscope Museum.

167
00:06:49,236 --> 00:06:52,078
It's my favorite
Kaleidoscope‐based institution.

168
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:54,953
Willkommen to the Mummy Room.

169
00:06:55,020 --> 00:06:57,394
This is the Great Queen.

170
00:06:57,460 --> 00:07:00,972
‐TANYA: Oh, the Great Queen?
‐GIL: The greatest of all time.

171
00:07:01,038 --> 00:07:02,710
She ruled an empire.

172
00:07:02,777 --> 00:07:06,154
She commanded thousands
of loyal followers.

173
00:07:06,220 --> 00:07:08,795
And she was apparently
super easy to talk to,

174
00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:11,068
just like a really
wunderbar personality.

175
00:07:11,135 --> 00:07:12,539
Everybody said so.

176
00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:16,084
Damn, that kind of power,
that kind of leadership?

177
00:07:16,150 --> 00:07:19,159
I bet nobody would email her
about work on a Saturday.

178
00:07:19,226 --> 00:07:22,302
Uh, definitely not, they would
have been immediately exiled.

179
00:07:22,368 --> 00:07:24,041
What was this queen's name?

180
00:07:24,108 --> 00:07:26,314
Her name was Tanya.

181
00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:27,852
‐TANYA: What?
‐ERNESTO: Oh, come on!

182
00:07:27,918 --> 00:07:29,423
Oh, my God, Tanya.
That's your name.

183
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,329
Are you messing with me,
Gilandrius?

184
00:07:31,395 --> 00:07:34,572
Gilandrical or Gil,
and wait a minute.

185
00:07:34,639 --> 00:07:37,113
What‐‐are you saying to me

186
00:07:37,180 --> 00:07:40,222
that your name is Tanya?

187
00:07:40,289 --> 00:07:43,064
And you look like
that hot birdie?

188
00:07:43,131 --> 00:07:46,340
And you're...also here?

189
00:07:46,407 --> 00:07:48,848
What a weird series
of coincidinkies,

190
00:07:48,915 --> 00:07:50,386
which, as we all know...

191
00:07:50,452 --> 00:07:52,358
Is an occurrence of things

192
00:07:52,425 --> 00:07:54,699
that are just weird
but don't mean anything.

193
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,404
Are you guys even listening
to yourselves?

194
00:07:56,470 --> 00:07:59,079
Can you not be downer
for like five seconds

195
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,017
of this museum experience?

196
00:08:01,085 --> 00:08:03,893
‐Learn!
‐It's almost too perfect.

197
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,500
No...yes...maybe?

198
00:08:06,568 --> 00:08:08,941
But also could be‐‐
but it can't be.

199
00:08:09,008 --> 00:08:10,714
The tour is over!

200
00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:12,485
The museum is closed!
<i>Auf wiedersehen!</i>

201
00:08:12,553 --> 00:08:13,421
Gil, wait!

202
00:08:13,488 --> 00:08:16,397
Shit,
what a half‐assed tour.

203
00:08:16,464 --> 00:08:18,236
We only saw
like two rooms.

204
00:08:18,303 --> 00:08:20,342
Let's just get out of here.

205
00:08:20,409 --> 00:08:22,783
Oh, no, we're locked in.

206
00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:25,224
Gilandrical, Gilandrical!

207
00:08:25,291 --> 00:08:27,430
Wow, where did he run off to?

208
00:08:27,497 --> 00:08:29,571
Maybe he had to...
poo.

209
00:08:29,637 --> 00:08:33,081
He did not have to poo
because he...

210
00:08:33,148 --> 00:08:35,019
‐is me!

211
00:08:35,087 --> 00:08:36,725
Oh, Gil, cool.

212
00:08:36,792 --> 00:08:38,998
Uh, can you open the door so we
can leave your weird museum?

213
00:08:39,066 --> 00:08:41,072
I'm afraid I cannot.

214
00:08:41,138 --> 00:08:43,244
Explain yourself,
Gilandrical!

215
00:08:43,311 --> 00:08:45,384
It's Gil, excuse me,
and for years,

216
00:08:45,451 --> 00:08:47,658
I've searched
for the perfect hosts,

217
00:08:47,725 --> 00:08:52,138
the Queen, the Bird,
and the Bear.

218
00:08:52,205 --> 00:08:54,679
Yeah, I don't know.
Doesn't really look like him.

219
00:08:54,746 --> 00:08:56,517
I know.
This one's a stretch.

220
00:08:56,585 --> 00:08:58,658
Dude, it totally
looks like me.

221
00:08:58,724 --> 00:09:00,964
If I was, like,
a little more shredded,

222
00:09:01,031 --> 00:09:02,636
you would definitely see it.

223
00:09:02,703 --> 00:09:04,642
It's no matter.
It's close enough, okay?

224
00:09:04,709 --> 00:09:09,389
Tonight the Great Queen and
her revered deities rise again.

225
00:09:09,456 --> 00:09:11,863
Their spirits
will fuse with yours,

226
00:09:11,930 --> 00:09:15,407
and they will walk the Earth
once more through you.

227
00:09:15,474 --> 00:09:17,881
Either you come willingly,
or I‐‐

228
00:09:17,948 --> 00:09:19,286
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.

229
00:09:19,353 --> 00:09:21,693
You want to give me the powers
of this ancient queen

230
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:24,501
and basically make me
the new queen?

231
00:09:24,569 --> 00:09:27,477
That's correct,
and then through dark magic‐‐

232
00:09:27,543 --> 00:09:28,614
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.

233
00:09:28,681 --> 00:09:30,386
And would I get
to set my own hours?

234
00:09:30,452 --> 00:09:32,225
Oh, sure, yeah, yeah,
you would totally be in charge.

235
00:09:32,291 --> 00:09:34,966
And could we confirm
that I would be a god,

236
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:36,237
one of the best around?

237
00:09:36,303 --> 00:09:39,747
One of the best of all
of the arounds.

238
00:09:39,814 --> 00:09:41,452
Well, that's all
I need to hear.

239
00:09:41,519 --> 00:09:43,224
‐I'm in.
‐Way ahead of you, dude.

240
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,829
‐Whoa, whoa, whoa‐‐
‐Ernesto, look at me.

241
00:09:44,896 --> 00:09:48,306
You're telling me you
don't want to be a god?

242
00:09:48,373 --> 00:09:50,580
They're even making
an exception for you!

243
00:09:50,647 --> 00:09:53,354
Okay, ignoring the fact that
I'm a shoo‐in for the god

244
00:09:53,421 --> 00:09:55,093
due to obvious physical
similarities,

245
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,200
this whole thing feels weird.

246
00:09:57,266 --> 00:09:59,105
‐We should leave.
‐Come on.

247
00:09:59,172 --> 00:10:00,710
Now.

248
00:10:02,114 --> 00:10:05,022
Oh, come on, Ernesto.
You're ruining the vibe.

249
00:10:05,089 --> 00:10:06,427
‐Come on.
‐Come on!

250
00:10:06,494 --> 00:10:07,898
‐HENCHMAN: Just do it, man.
‐Come on.

251
00:10:07,965 --> 00:10:09,570
All right, all right, geez.

252
00:10:09,637 --> 00:10:11,408
You guys are so annoying.

253
00:10:11,475 --> 00:10:14,451
Yes, peer pressure
for the win!

254
00:10:23,879 --> 00:10:25,585
ERNESTO:
Can you guys see anything?

255
00:10:25,652 --> 00:10:27,891
I'm just staring
at a wall here.

256
00:10:27,958 --> 00:10:30,265
Let the ritual commence!

257
00:10:30,332 --> 00:10:33,106
Yes, barbarian queen!

258
00:10:33,173 --> 00:10:36,918
Let's start this ritual!

259
00:10:36,985 --> 00:10:37,855
ERNESTO:
Oh, no.

260
00:10:37,921 --> 00:10:40,730
Let the greatest queen
rise again

261
00:10:40,797 --> 00:10:43,170
to unite the world
under her rule...

262
00:10:43,238 --> 00:10:44,609
‐KEVIN: Yes!
‐And to oversee

263
00:10:44,675 --> 00:10:48,520
dozens of projects
that will restore her glory...

264
00:10:48,587 --> 00:10:50,392
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Oversee what?

265
00:10:50,459 --> 00:10:52,566
And to be available
at all of the hours

266
00:10:52,633 --> 00:10:54,705
for various questions
that any of us may have.

267
00:10:54,772 --> 00:10:56,109
All hours?

268
00:10:56,175 --> 00:10:59,319
And let the bird and also
the bear rise again as well,

269
00:10:59,386 --> 00:11:00,924
so that their images
may be printed

270
00:11:00,990 --> 00:11:02,896
on tens of hundreds
of T‐shirts.

271
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:05,738
Wait, hold up, T‐shirts?
That's not very epic.

272
00:11:05,805 --> 00:11:07,008
Gil, uh, Gil, wait a minute.

273
00:11:07,075 --> 00:11:08,714
But what?
I'm in the middle of something.

274
00:11:08,781 --> 00:11:10,553
No, I get that, but this
is actually sounding like

275
00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:12,593
a not great arrangement.

276
00:11:12,659 --> 00:11:14,531
I'm really just looking for
more flexible work hours.

277
00:11:14,599 --> 00:11:17,240
And I'm trying to get out
of the T‐shirt game.

278
00:11:17,306 --> 00:11:20,617
Honestly, I can make you fuse
with the ruling spirits

279
00:11:20,683 --> 00:11:23,123
of this dead empire,
but I'd rather find somebody

280
00:11:23,190 --> 00:11:24,695
who, like, wants it, you know?

281
00:11:24,762 --> 00:11:26,901
Somebody who's gonna be
with the team for a while,

282
00:11:26,968 --> 00:11:29,242
because these guys
deserve that.

283
00:11:29,309 --> 00:11:30,680
‐For sure, man.
‐Whoo‐hoo!

284
00:11:30,747 --> 00:11:31,983
Ah, Gil, you're my guy!
We love you, Gil.

285
00:11:32,050 --> 00:11:33,922
I love you as well,
hooded figures!

286
00:11:33,989 --> 00:11:35,628
They do seem like
a good group.

287
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,269
Oh, hells yeah, I would
do anything for those guys.

288
00:11:38,336 --> 00:11:40,743
All right, everyone, let's get
the hells out of here.

289
00:11:40,810 --> 00:11:42,816
Who wants
a circular carbohydrate?

290
00:11:42,883 --> 00:11:44,521
‐Code name for pizza!
‐Whoo‐hoo!

291
00:11:44,588 --> 00:11:46,293
‐Can we get pineapple?
‐Yes, yah, yah.

292
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:48,499
HENCHMAN:
No more YAS, bitches.

293
00:11:52,511 --> 00:11:56,022
Hello?
Uh, guys?

294
00:11:56,089 --> 00:11:58,931
You're free to go,
home slices.

295
00:11:58,998 --> 00:12:01,372
Hold up, are we making
the right decision here?

296
00:12:01,438 --> 00:12:02,976
If we walk out this door,

297
00:12:03,043 --> 00:12:04,582
we are right back
where we started.

298
00:12:04,648 --> 00:12:06,387
Hey, may I
tell you something

299
00:12:06,453 --> 00:12:07,691
that's going to sound, like,
uber cheesy?

300
00:12:07,758 --> 00:12:09,462
‐Sure.
‐You can always talk to me

301
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:11,134
‐about cheese.
‐Me as well.

302
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:14,477
Find what makes you happy,
and do it forever.

303
00:12:14,545 --> 00:12:15,782
I mean, look at me.

304
00:12:15,848 --> 00:12:18,055
I love trying to revive
this ancient empire

305
00:12:18,121 --> 00:12:20,429
and revert the world
to a premodern state,

306
00:12:20,495 --> 00:12:21,766
and do you know what?

307
00:12:21,833 --> 00:12:24,875
It never feels like work,
not one day of it.

308
00:12:24,942 --> 00:12:28,386
I wake up every day excited
to try to find suitable hosts

309
00:12:28,453 --> 00:12:31,629
for the spirits and
to commence the ritual, yes.

310
00:12:31,696 --> 00:12:33,769
‐Oh, thanks, Gil.
‐TANYA: Thanks, Gil.

311
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:36,175
Oh, and hey, please
to be telling your friends

312
00:12:36,242 --> 00:12:37,848
about the
Ancient History Museum.

313
00:12:37,914 --> 00:12:41,224
In terms of making our rent,
utilities bills, etc.,

314
00:12:41,290 --> 00:12:43,732
we're doing very poorly,
so spread the word, yes?

315
00:12:43,799 --> 00:12:45,102
We will, Gil.

316
00:12:45,169 --> 00:12:47,711
We actually do offer
annual museum memberships

317
00:12:47,778 --> 00:12:49,114
at a discount
if you're interested.

318
00:12:49,181 --> 00:12:50,887
You can sign up right now.
I'm ready.

319
00:12:50,953 --> 00:12:53,695
Noooooo!

320
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:01,250
Arrrhhh!