Oh, my coach just emailed me.
They're redoing the gym at Wesleyan,
so I have to show up for preseason training, like, right after graduation.
That early?
I knew that fucking coach had it out for me.
Yeah, she definitely built the schedule based
on how much it would hurt you.
No, it's just... I had big plans for us in June.
I wanted to take some trips, hit the beach.
I also thought it could be awesome if I just, like, stared at you a bunch.
Pimp...
Are you gonna be depressed all alone in this big house?
It's just gonna be you and me, man.
Big boy party, right?
A couple of big boys doing big boy things.
Big boys!
You gotta move out of that pool house.
Marisol must be going nuts.
Yeah, it's not our favorite.
Okay, maybe we should pump the brakes on convincing other people
to leave my dad now that I'm leaving my dad?
Guys, I'm gonna be absolutely fine, I promise.
You know how it's been super noisy at my apartment
because my mom's been training birds?
- No. - How would we know that?
- I knew that. - Maybe when Alice abandons you,
I could move in here.
Is it sad that I just actually considered that?
- Yeah. It's not great. - You know where to find me, roomie.
- You're not gonna leave, right, Sean? - I'm never leaving, Jimmy.
'Cause we are big boys.
You just don't leave me like this.
- Fine. - There it is.
See, it's gonna be like that every night.
Hey, Maya.
Got your message about needing to skip this week.
It's totally fine.
But if you do that shit again, I'm gonna find you.
Give you therapy wherever you are, gym, roller coaster, somebody else's bed.
It does not matter to me.
All right, bye.
Okay, what's the damn emergency, Liz?
Derek's mother's been here for two days.
I'm already losing my shit.
- What's she doing? - Nothing.
She's being perfectly kind.
That's why she's an evil genius.
Do you know what that bitch said to me this morning?
"Derek's lucky to have you."
Well, that's rough.
- What the hell's wrong with you? - You're not getting it.
She says the right words with the right tone,
and then she holds eye contact for an extra few seconds
so I can feel the judgment that no one else can.
Liz.
Hold, hold, hold.
Yeah?
Hi. Do you... do you have any of those popsicles that Derek loves?
I gotcha.
- What? - Sorry, I...
I don't know what you've been doing, but you look gorgeous.
Thank you.
Could you feel that?
Yeah, I gotta go, Liz.
I had a nice loud voice before Parkinson's.
- I miss it. - Yeah.
And I hate all those vocal exercises.
I hate 'em too.
When I do the yelling one,
I find it helps to yell about something that really annoys me like,
"Kids shouldn't be allowed in restaurants."
- Yeah. - "Dick should not be short for Richard."
"Twins confuse and frighten me."
I like that one.
Feels good.
I'm trying to wind down my practice,
and Sykes keeps sending me these Parkinson's patients.
They're not cheerful like I am.
Yeah, I love how you know yourself so well.
Look, you're a positive role model.
I'm very proud of you.
Go on if you want.
Are you feeling a little sorry for yourself
since your tremors have become bilateral?
Now I got two shaky hands.
I got 24-hour jazz hands.
Fosse. Fosse. Fosse.
All right. That's a normal progression.
But if you need to vent, it's okay.
I mean, you can complain to me.
I know that, and that's why I don't do it.
Right, right. Because suffering in silence makes you brave,
and you want to be the best there is at Parkinson's.
Is that what they're saying?
That I'm the best?
Top ten at least.
I have died every day...
Waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid
I have loved you For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
Ready?
Time stands still Beauty in all she is
I will be grape I will not...
What?
It's "brave," sweetie.
I'm pretty sure it's "grape."
How can you be grape?
Like, how can one be grape?
I'm the grapiest girl.
- You're a grape guy. - We're grape together.
It's my birthday, my lyrics. Keep playing.
- From the chorus? - Yeah, let's do it.
I have died every day Waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
I have died every day Waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'm going to love you For a thousand more
Yeah, it's her birthday tomorrow, so she's just been on my mind a lot.
Oh, I remember grape night.
Mom's sing-alongs were so much fun.
For you maybe. Not for me.
There's more pressure when you have talent.
You guys wouldn't know.
Tell us how we can cheer you up.
You don't have to.
Guys, it's okay to be melancholy from time to time.
From time to time?
Hey, you know what? I'm just glad that at least one person
in this family still remembers Tia's birthdays.
Oh, my God. It was one time.
She's only had one birthday since she died.
You're batting a thousand for missed dead mom birthdays.
Your mom loved her birthdays so much.
Now you're making me sad.
Me too. Hey, you know what cheers me up?
Saying rude things to strangers who can't hear you
because they're listening to their AirPods.
Here. Watch this. Here we go.
Hey.
Sun hat, sunglasses, and sun shirt.
Maybe next time stay inside.
Okay, here. Jimmy, get this guy.
Fine.
Nice walking stick, Grandpa.
Well, thank you.
It's extendable.
You just move these little blue thingies here and it opens right up.
You wanna give it a go?
- I'm good. - Yeah?
Yeah, but it was nice to talk to you, and have a good day.
You too. Bye now.
- Goddamn it, Brian. - Those were hearing aids.
- I know. - And they work very well.
Hey, I remembered all by myself.
Hey, I'm just checking in.
Your mom's birthday shouldn't be a day of self-hatred.
That's New Year's Eve.
How you doing? You good?
Yeah, just worried about Dad.
At the grocery store, he got sad eyes
and said the woman on the Skinnygirl Margarita bottle looked like Mom.
That's a silhouette. She doesn't even have a face.
I actually visited your mom this morning and I introduced her to Derrick.
I knew she was happy for me because when I held his hand,
two butterflies flew by fucking.
That is so Mom.
- Yeah. - Okay, I gotta go get coffee.
He's gonna need me to be strong for him today.
- Love you. - Love you. Bye.
Jimmy, it's more like...
I'm doing it...
- I feel like we're making the same sound. - I don't think so.
What's happening?
- What? - What's happening?
I realized...
that this is the last birthday of your mom's
that we're gonna get to spend together
before you go off to college, and I'm not gonna let it be a sad day.
We are gonna celebrate.
Oh, my God.
Is that a leftovers omelet?
Fuck yeah, it is.
It's your mom's favorite breakfast. Remember?
Whatever was about to go bad in the fridge,
all chopped up with eggs and cheese.
Today we have lo mein and half a jar of olives.
So, it's more like a "vomelet".
Oh, use that with your friends and tell me if it goes viral.
- Be older. - Bitch.
Brian wanted to come with, and I thought maybe you'd like to invite Summer?
I will.
Dad, this is really cool of you.
It is cool, right? It's gonna be a great day.
- Yeah. - Like...
It's gonna be really great.
- No. No. No, no, no, no. - No. Don't, don't. No.
Hey, no, no face fall.
I'm not face falling.
I know.
What are we doing? Let's go... Let's go have some fun.
Okay, what's on the agenda?
Should we... Should we get some mimosas?
- Maybe do a coffee crawl? - Or...
Oh, man.
There you go, Dad.
You're ajar. Let me help you out here.
Shoot.
I left my book upstairs.
All Fours is a page turner.
Menopausal women aren't done. I'll tell you that.
- I got it. - No, I got it.
Your job is to chill, eat leafy shit,
and not walk anywhere without your heart pillow.
Thanks for taking such good care of me, pal.
You're a natural.
It makes me think you could be a physical therapist.
Maybe.
My friends would freak out if I was a doctor.
Well, it's not quite a doctor, but close enough.
- I'll go get your weird book. - Okay. Thanks, doc.
He's such a sweet boy.
Takes after both of you.
Thank you.
Man, oh, man.
Mama needs a mint because I just housed
a bunch of garlic knots in the car, and it was not pretty.
- Gaby, there she is. My stinky girl. - Oh, wow. Stinky girl.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - That's a little too much energy.
Wow. Hi, you must be Mama Bishop.
Big fan of your son, love the hair.
He's always been like that.
He practically came out of the womb with a bob.
Mom.
- Hi. I'm Connie. - I'm Gaby.
Constance, you never told me to call you Connie.
You can call me Connie.
Let's go on a mint hunt.
And buried to your left, according to a quick Google search,
is Arlene who died a widow because she murdered her husband.
- Fun twist, babe. Yeah. - Murder Arlene is my hero.
Mom loved gossiping about her neighbors.
Hey, Mom. We all wore our most problematic T-shirts that you ever gave us,
and we're having fun on your birthday like we always did.
And none of us have ever forgotten what day that birthday is.
Lying to the dead? So sad.
I just want to say, "Respect."
You always drove me home from school when my mom forgot.
She also taught me how to put in a tampon.
Not while she was driving.
It was in the car though.
Whoa, who's the smokeshow?
It looks like a hot Louis.
Holy shit.
It is Louis.
Gasp.
Why did he ever shave his beard?
I mentioned we were gonna be here, but I didn't think he'd show up.
- Hi. - Hey, man.
Hope I'm not intruding.
What's "updog?"
Nothing. What's up with you?
Yes. Never got this to work before. Holy shit.
It's like a fucking rush.
We did it, babe.
Now that that's out of the way, we were just gonna play Mom's favorite game.
Have you ever played Chubby Bunny?
No, but my uncle used to ask that a lot, and now he's in prison.
Way to bring down the graveyard hang, Louis.
- Sorry. - All right.
You're gonna fit as many marshmallows as you can into your mouth,
and then we're gonna say, "I love you, Mom."
You can say, "Tia."
Thank you.
Ready, set... Oh, we're going.
Get set, go, go, go.
- I love you, Mom! - We love you, Tia!
Just for you.
- Oh, shit. - Oh, shit.
We got it. It's okay.
We'll get you, we'll get you.
Okay. Okay.
Sorry. Sorry.
- Okay. - Thank you.
She almost got you back.
Brian.
At first, I thought you was making that shit up.
If we weren't in the room,
I feel like she would suck in her breath real quick and eat your soul.
I told you. Thank you, thank you.
I just needed someone to see it.
So, what's the history there?
And smile so it doesn't look like we're talking shit.
We used to go at each other constantly.
Yeah, she was always criticizing my parenting, saying I was over-involved.
And then, finally, she told me to pause.
She told me to pause, Gaby.
She TiVoed your ass?
It was my breaking point, so I took a deep breath,
and I made some healthy boundaries.
You want me to think that you didn't fire back?
I may have called her "Cunstance".
Wow.
How am I going to survive the rest of the week?
Oh, shit. I don't know. I gotta go. Sean wants me to meet him.
- No, no, no. You can't. Gaby. - No. I have to.
- You cannot. You're not going. - I have to.
There he is.
- What a sweet boy. - Sean wants me to meet him.
- No, he doesn't. He text me. - No, he didn't.
No, he did. He texted me. He doesn't want you to come over.
- No, he didn't say that. - He did.
Okay, I gotta go. But I am really glad I got to see this dynamic.
I might write a paper about it. But look, she's gonna be gone soon.
And Derek doesn't need any more stress, otherwise his heart will explode
and that would just be like super messy.
- Okay? - Right. Okay.
- Babe... - Yeah?
...I'm gonna give you the exact opposite advice
- that I normally give my patients. - Okay.
I want you to bottle this shit up,
slap a big, dumb smile on your face
and then just disassociate.
That's my specialty.
That's right.
- Dial down the sociopath, all right? - Okay.
Love you. Bye, Train. Bye, Mama Bishop.
- Nice meeting you. - Bye-bye.
- Bye. - See you, G.
- Hey, babe. - Hey.
Do you think it's weird to have my mom massage my feet?
Yeah, but better her than me.
That's funny.
Liz, you kill me.
Right back at you, Connie.
I'm gonna...
Thank you so much for coming all the way down here
to help us out out of the goodness of your heart.
Yeah, I want free food for a week,
and if I want you to try deep frying something,
you have to do it.
No questions, no judgments.
- Deal. - All right. What do you want?
So, a bunch of other vets started coming down to work out with us at the MMA gym.
We thought it might be cool to put together a kind of support group.
Some of the other guys are struggling.
So, would you ever help us run something like that?
Are you kidding me?
This is the exact kind of stuff I wanna be doing.
And trust me, there's nothing more healing than talking your shit out
with people who are going through the exact same thing you are.
Ray, Gerry, thanks for coming.
Fuck Parkinson's.
Fuck it in the face.
Fuck it in its mother's face.
That's too much. It's too much.
Yeah, I felt it, yeah.
He relaxes, you might start to like him.
Or not.
It's a 50-50 thing.
Anything actually wrong with you?
I have stage one prostate cancer.
That's cool.
You can stay.
Thanks.
So, who's gonna start? Not you.
Ever since I went bilateral, I can't stop thinking about
all the things I'm not gonna be able to do.
Like, write my name, you know, or play a record.
Hold a cup of coffee.
Man, that's tough.
I mostly just have peeing stuff.
You're not so special.
I also have the peeing stuff.
Guys, it's not a competition.
Paul, you've helped so many people.
Think about your legacy, the things you've accomplished.
You're the one who said to me,
I should never think about things I can't do.
He made me focus on the little things.
This jerk made me do that too.
Case in point.
I feel very lucky to be hanging out with you two.
We're much cooler than you.
Lucky is an understatement.
So we talked and his life was bleak, like Requiem for a Dream bleak,
and not the middle part where they're enjoying the heroin.
The end where everyone's ass to ass, and you realize heroin's no fun at all.
- Brian. - Kellie asked how we met.
- I didn't. - She didn't.
She didn't.
I'm just gonna grab her. I don't know if she should hear this.
Oh, she's heard this story before.
It's the only way I can get her to go to sleep.
It was great to meet you, Sutton.
See you in my office one day, kid.
Should I be at all concerned
that Alice and Summer are having no trouble getting booze for tonight?
- No. They're self-starters. - They're empowered.
- It's good. - Okay.
So, Louis, how has life been now that you're hot?
I mean, pretty good, actually.
You'll be proud of me. I learned how to make a drinkable cup of coffee,
and I got promoted at work, and I have started seeing someone.
It'd be funny if I killed her.
Sorry, I don't know why I said that. That was probably some leftover.
Anyway, that's great.
We met at this British pub.
We both went for bangers and mash.
- Is that a sex thing? - It can be.
I actually think that Tuppence is the only other Brit
I've met in San Diego, so maybe that's how we...
I'm sorry. Did you say Tuppence?
Yeah, Tuppence, that's her name.
- That's not a real name. - He named his baby Sutton.
Oh, I'm sorry, is Tuppence a two-time Tony Award-winning Broadway legend?
She's an accountant.
Anyway, she's much cooler than her name suggests.
She's smart, and she's funny,
and she's fit, and I don't know, it feels...
real.
You're doing so well, Louis.
I guess karma isn't a bitch.
But Brian is.
He's right.
What about you, Jimmy?
Did you go out with that Sofi lady?
I told you that I would, and so, I did not.
Okay.
I did, however, go on a date with a cute nurse.
Nice. You gonna see her again?
I hope not. It would destroy her.
When Alice called me this morning and asked me to come today,
at first, I said no, but she insisted and I'm glad she did.
I am too. Yeah, that's...
It was really good to see you.
Good to see you.
I'm gonna take her to the park. Do you mind if I change her onesie?
Oh, no. It's honoring my friend.
It says, "Show me your tits."
It's a breastfeeding joke, Kellie.
- Don't be gross. - Okay.
She's definitely gonna quit.
Thank you so much for this. It's so sweet of you.
I love the little jumping guy on the tongue.
Is that new?
No, I had some mint Jordan 4 Retro OG Breds that I never wore,
so I flipped them online for eight hundo.
Used that money to buy the shoes you're wearing,
and two other pairs I'm gonna flip next.
$800?
Geez, you should do that for a living.
Well, it's more of just a hobby.
Some hobbies turn into careers, Liz, even if yours hasn't.
What is it again?
Blowing stones?
It's tumbling rocks, but you know that.
How would I know that?
You've never given me one.
That's weird, Mom.
We all have rocks.
Grandma doesn't have a rock?
Not everyone gets rocks. It's not up to me.
It's only up to you.
Yeah, just go blow her a rock.
Matthew, you seem to have a real passion for these shoes.
I love them.
I love finding the drops, camping out at the stores...
Well, why not try that for real?
Have that be your job.
You're a baller, Grandma.
Grandma's a baller.
Yeah.
I'm a baller.
That was nice, wasn't it?
See what happens when you follow a kid's lead?
I have one rule, remember?
Do not tell me how to parent.
And I know that you've been staring at me thinking this garbage
since the day that you got here.
You can't pin anything on me.
I've only said fake nice stuff.
I fucking knew it.
You made me think I was crazy.
You know what, Constance, enjoy this visit
because I really can't imagine any scenario where you'll be back.
Elizabitch.
Heard that.
Wanted you to.
Oh, boy.
Hey. You got a minute?
Last time you came in here this serious,
it was to tell me that I steered you wrong with boba.
You shouldn't have to chew a drink.
You are so lazy.
Look, I've been thinking about my legacy,
and I know you see me more as a mentor for Jimmy than you.
That's because you guys have that whole, "I love you, Dad. I hate you, Dad" thing.
Well, I think the world of you.
That's why I want to give you this.
You want to give me my office?
No. The practice.
I want you to take over Rhoades Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Center.
Oh, my God. What about your baby boy Jimmy?
He'll understand.
He doesn't even do CBT anymore.
He's on his own path, but you and I were cut from the same therapeutic cloth.
Well, you're familiar with all of my tools.
I figured we could start meeting and I could fill you in on...
how I see things going.
Paul, I'm so honored and I love you, like, you know that.
I do.
So I don't want to respond in any other way,
other than being totally honest and straight with you.
But this isn't what I want to do with my life.
Bummer.
Remember when I told you how much I wanted to start
working with patients that had deeper shit going on?
Well, I have been.
And I fucking love it.
I've been doing great work with Maya.
I'm starting a support group for vets.
I've even been letting myself dream about opening up a trauma center of my own.
What do you think?
I think that anything you want to do is a great idea.
All right. Well, get in here. This one's gonna be a long one.
You like my party outfit?
I'll tell you when you put it on.
Tough, but fair.
So, I have a fun question for you.
Why did you invite Louis today and not tell me?
He has such a big British mouth.
What's going on, kid?
I guess I just wanted you to see how great his life is because you did that.
Dad, you helped the one person in the world you had the least reason to,
and I really wish you could do that for yourself.
It doesn't make sense that he has found a way to move on and you still haven't.
I mean, why won't you call Sofi?
So you were Jimmying me?
Now I understand why my patients get so irritated.
I can't stop imagining you being alone in this house.
I don't think I can go to college,
unless I know you're not gonna be sitting in the dark, not having a life.
I'm gonna be okay.
I'm gonna miss you, but I also know that you're ready to go.
And the coolest thing about that is that me and your mom,
we did that.
Alice, there is no greater joy than that you're gonna go out there and kick ass.
And I'm so proud of you.
Got it?
Got it.
One more thing.
So, from what I understand, normal kids are, like, super excited
to go to college and leave their parents behind.
So do me a favor, pretend to be normal.
I will if you will.
- Deal. - Deal.
Normal.
- I knew it. - Normal.
- We had a deal.
Normal.
Right in here.
Liz?
She wishes.
I'm Connie.
I'm Derek's mom.
Paul. Reluctant friend.
Heard you call me "friend."
Fuck Parkinson's.
That's fun.
You can do it too if you want.
Fuck Parkinson's.
Just dropped by to check on Derek.
My wife's a doctor, so she gave me this grabber thing
because he's not supposed to bend over.
Fair warning, she grabbed my ass with it four times.
I just wanna say a quick hello,
and then I'll get out of your hair.
Yeah, he was napping. I'll see if he's up.
Good.
You know, Paul's daughter, she's an environmental scientist.
Maybe you wanna see if she wants to work in a yogurt shop.
Don't even.
I gave her some parenting advice.
Looks like she took it well.
Do you have a rock?
I do.
I love it.
I've lived a long, full life.
You'd think she'd want to learn from it.
Unfortunately, the younger people in our lives
just don't seem to want what we have to offer.
When did we become the old bags?
Speak for yourself.
I'm an icon.
Woof.
It's good.
I'm gonna steal it.
Get your own animal sound.
I can't find Derek.
Derek?
Oh, geez. What?
Let's not scare the man with a heart condition.
- How did you find me? - Our mailman saw you.
Tony, that fucking rat.
What were you thinking?
It's not safe for you to leave the house.
It's not safe for me in the house.
I'm not supposed to be under any stress.
You two need to figure it out, or you both need to get the hell out.
Well, one of you needs to stay 'cause I still need care, and...
- probably should be my wife. - Probably?
- Probably should be? Oh, your wife? - Yes, my wife.
- Okay. Okay. - I said, "For sure my wife."
I'm gonna take him home.
Let these two hash it out.
No, that'll never happen.
I don't know.
Sometimes when a grown man runs away from home,
people figure out it's time to make peace.
You know I can't have sex for a month?
We can just be quiet while we walk.
Sorry I broke your rule.
Maybe I should let Matthew find his own way.
Nobody likes to be told what to do by their mother-in-law.
God, we're a cliché.
Well, at least we're not fighting over who makes Christmas ham.
Yeah, because neither of us can cook for shit.
I'm sorry too. You gave Matthew good advice.
I haven't seen him light up like that in a while.
Well, I've been there before.
Matthew's always felt outshined by his family,
and Derek's brother was the same.
He struggled as a child.
I probably should have been more involved with him.
Oh, so you're saying my way is right?
No, I'm saying every kid needs something different.
I heard what I heard.
You did a good job with your boys.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
We're not there yet.
Thank God.
I have died every day Waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
Time stands still Beauty in all she is
I will be grape I will not let anything take away
One step closer
- God. - Oh, geez.
That was so...
- so early. - Yeah, I know.
I'm sort of off my game.
I don't normally meet someone's whole family
and whole daughter on the first date,
that also happens to fall on their dead wife/mom's birthday.
So, I don't know.
- She's super weird. I like her. - Yeah.
I dig your poofy shoulders.
And your flowy hair.
- You're so pretty. - You're hot.
- How many kids do you have? - Well, I... You know, maybe...
should we just start singing?
From the chorus.
I have died every day Waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed...
- Hey, Donna. - ...I would find you
What's up?
Time has brought your heart to me
- Slow down. Slow down. - I have loved you
For a thousand years
Wait, what do you mean we lost Maya?
I'll love you for a thousand more