1
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‪NETFLIX 影集

2
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‪人死了就死了

3
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‪不可能從天上看著我們

4
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‪所以我不懂幹嘛辦葬禮

5
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‪葬禮煩死人了

6
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‪拜託！放尊重一點

7
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‪我不是想抬槓

8
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‪本來就很煩，神父講一堆場面話…

9
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‪上主是我的牧者
‪帶領我到可休息的水邊

10
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‪然後我覺得無聊得要命

11
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‪他負責用那堆鬼話淹沒你的悲情

12
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‪直到你的耳朵流血為止

13
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‪四個小時後，你就脫水了

14
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‪也懶得再哭了

15
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‪可是我已經開始哽咽了

16
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‪-哇
‪-我是說真的！

17
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‪媽的，覺得哽咽有個屁用！

18
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‪你要大聲哭出來

19
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‪必須集滿整整兩罐的淚水和鼻水

20
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‪攪拌30分鐘

21
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‪直到均勻變成泡沫為止

22
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‪不然鼻涕會沉澱到瓶底

23
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‪你一定要拼命講內臟和體液嗎？

24
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‪對，一定要！

25
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‪因為你必須大聲哭出來

26
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‪這樣才能遠離傷悲

27
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{\an8}‪你有發現義大利文的“宣洩”
‪和“鼻涕”寫法很像嗎？

28
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{\an8}‪一個來自希臘文，一個拉丁文

29
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{\an8}‪誰鳥他啊？

30
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‪如果兩大古文明

31
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‪都有相同的想法

32
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‪你有什麼資格質疑這些？

33
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‪我思考神父、淚水和宣洩的事情

34
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‪發現這都跟我們來這裡的理由無關

35
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‪這是運動中心，不是教堂

36
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‪祭壇的位置是一個拳擊擂臺

37
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‪我知道我們來這裡

38
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‪是因為艾麗琪愛拳擊成痴

39
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‪但是我覺得這個地方不夠莊嚴

40
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‪不足以讓神父用那些鬼話弄哭我

41
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‪妳覺得這個地方真的適合讓人哭嗎？

42
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‪我覺得我非哭不可

43
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‪畢竟我都買火車票了

44
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‪參加告別式並不是為了哭

45
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‪莎拉說的當然對

46
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‪參加葬禮還有別的原因

47
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‪或者說某些葬禮

48
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‪為的是得到解答

49
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‪我們從星期二的那通電話起

50
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‪就想知道答案

51
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‪你不知道該說什麼，該用什麼文字

52
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‪該怎麼回答問題…

53
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‪要買冰淇淋嗎？

54
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‪拜託！這是葬禮耶！

55
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‪我建議吃冰淇淋，又不是建議打手槍

56
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‪這樣很失禮嗎？
‪艾麗琪有乳糖不耐症嗎？

57
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‪這不是重點，重點是更嚴肅的問題

58
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‪她為什麼做傻事？

59
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‪一定有理由，吃飯是因為肚子餓

60
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‪肚子餓是因為午餐沒吃

61
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‪總有個理由、解釋…

62
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‪一定是誰的錯

63
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‪人自殺一定有個理由

64
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‪她一定有個理由

65
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‪抱歉，得由我來說這件事
‪但是答案沒那麼簡單

66
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‪你知道嗎？

67
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‪一個人自殺不會有非常明確的原因

68
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‪那都只是鬼扯

69
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‪或者用來哄人的謊話

70
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‪在真實生活裡，除非你躲在小屋裡

71
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‪子彈全都用完，伊斯蘭國追殺你…

72
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‪這時你就會自爆，畢竟別無選擇

73
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‪在其他情況下，我還沒認識哪個人

74
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‪只為了一個單純的理由自殺

75
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‪沒有“A導致B”的簡單對應關係

76
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‪而是一堆理由混在一起

77
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‪連當事人理不出頭緒了

78
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‪更遑論外人

79
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‪這是什麼意思？

80
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‪怎麼沒有讓我們不會發瘋的答案？

81
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‪連我們都不知道原因，實在太離譜

82
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‪她是自己人耶

83
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‪妳是她朋友耶！

84
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‪妳也知道我跟她很親近

85
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‪我們當然都瘋了

86
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‪我們一直追對方，卻啥都沒做

87
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‪但畢竟很親近

88
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‪她有追你，是你自己跑開

89
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‪第一，妳懂什麼？

90
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‪第二，我雖然沒有馬上撲倒她

91
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‪但她也沒有暗示啊

92
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‪我沒批評她，完全尊重

93
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‪畢竟跨出第一步很冒險

94
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‪所以我們兩個都沒有主動

95
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‪你有沒有搞錯？

96
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‪她已經試過幾百次了！

97
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‪-什麼？
‪-媽的咧！

98
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‪她一直邀你出去抽煙

99
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‪你每次都說：“我不抽煙”

100
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‪她用通訊軟體請你寫個故事給她

101
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‪希望你能講自己的感覺

102
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‪結果你傳了超憂鬱的恐怖故事

103
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‪講一個愛絆倒人的小鬼

104
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‪她離開羅馬前

105
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‪打電話找了你一整天

106
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‪因為她想在回故鄉之前講清楚

107
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‪但是你整整消失了半個月！

108
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‪你自欺欺人也該有個限度！

109
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‪我徹底垮了，完全無言

110
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‪我想搞清楚這些事實

111
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‪但我的大腦裡好像有一顆氫彈爆炸

112
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‪看著自己的人生

113
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‪卻認不得自己的感覺很可怕

114
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‪你一直覺得這是休葛蘭常演的

115
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‪白痴愛情喜劇

116
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‪故事講兩個優柔寡斷的人

117
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‪彼此眉來眼去很長一段時間

118
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:19,800
‪但是現在…

119
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‪你卻看到有個白痴扭來扭去20年

120
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‪完全不願意承擔責任

121
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‪我的腿麻了，焦慮到動彈不得

122
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‪我還自以為是偵探

123
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‪想辦案，想瞭解動機，想找出原因…

124
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‪結果我就是連環殺手

125
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‪還跑去參加受害者的葬禮

126
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‪我知道我沒殺她

127
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‪但是現在我知道自己也許

128
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‪能讓她活下去，我可以給她點什麼…

129
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‪她爸爸在致詞了

130
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‪艾麗琪是很纖細的女孩子

131
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‪她會默默承受身邊人的痛苦

132
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‪她不想利用

133
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‪自己身邊的人

134
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‪不想過那種生活

135
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‪也許就因為這樣
‪她才在別人保證美好的世界裡

136
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‪無法安身立命

137
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‪那是我們的保證
‪因為我們相信世界一定能更美好

138
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,680
‪艾麗琪想工作，也想回饋社會

139
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:21,160
‪她在被迫離開羅馬時非常挫折

140
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‪因為她繳不起房租

141
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:26,640
‪所以只好搬回來跟我們住

142
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‪她因為無法獨立而非常痛苦

143
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,840
‪但艾麗琪不只是這樣的人

144
00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:36,760
‪她的人生不是只有痛苦

145
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‪艾麗琪充滿熱情

146
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‪她一直擔任兒童志工

147
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‪這些年來一直熱衷拳擊運動

148
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‪我很反對，無法理解她為什麼愛拳擊

149
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‪我不希望有人打我寶貝女兒的臉

150
00:08:56,760 --> 00:09:00,520
‪但是她說反正人活著就要承受打擊

151
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,320
‪所以她想學怎麼禁得起打，然後反擊

152
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:08,120
‪她寧願帶著滿臉傷痕變老

153
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,600
‪也不想要有副萬年娃娃臉

154
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:16,720
‪拳擊曾經在一段時間裡救了她

155
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:20,360
‪我們的女兒不是軟弱受害者

156
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:24,840
‪她是個戰士，就像我們這個家族

157
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:28,320
‪她吃了很多苦

158
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:31,240
‪但她不只是受苦的人

159
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:34,280
‪她的生命不只是那樣

160
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,880
‪雖然很感人，但是他媽的

161
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‪我滿腦子都在想這件事

162
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,520
‪“從耶穌死在十字架上

163
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,720
‪到世貿大樓倒塌，都是我的錯”

164
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,720
‪莎拉的話一直迴盪在我腦中

165
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,520
‪我想說…

166
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,200
‪狗屁！這全都是妳掰的！

167
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:54,480
‪可是連我都說服不了自己

168
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:58,560
‪拜託，至少對自己的感覺誠實一點

169
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,720
‪否則連耶穌會的信徒都不會相信你

170
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,600
‪我要去透透氣

171
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:06,640
‪我老想著艾麗琪原本能活著

172
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:09,800
‪也許如果我能主動跟她交往

173
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,000
‪她就不會認識那個混蛋

174
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:13,920
‪也許如果我能勇敢一點

175
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,440
‪如果我是那種人

176
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,800
‪就能給她活下去的理由…

177
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,080
‪你夠了沒啊？

178
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:27,800
‪媽的給我閉嘴！

179
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:29,960
‪這就像你小時候

180
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:32,680
‪覺得自己無所不能，什麼都會

181
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,680
‪是妳說艾麗琪在等我主動的

182
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,280
‪我當然會內疚！

183
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,240
‪我沒說你是死而復生的耶穌

184
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,120
‪你不幹別人，別人就會自殺！

185
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,840
‪我只是給出事實

186
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,440
‪你有罪惡感是因為太過自大

187
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,240
‪你想搶戲，但這不是你的主場！

188
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,280
‪講話用不著這麼賤吧？

189
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,680
‪你是她的朋友

190
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,920
‪也許她曾經想上你

191
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,640
‪然後她想跟你一起吃冰淇淋

192
00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:00,400
‪有時你逗她笑，或者惹她生氣

193
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:01,640
‪人就是這樣

194
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,320
‪你沒辦法決定她的生死

195
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,040
‪那是她的抉擇

196
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:09,200
‪別連這點尊嚴都不肯給她

197
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:10,960
‪好，莎拉這次講贏了

198
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:12,840
‪我的確相信人能自己決定

199
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,080
‪現在我覺得自己就像自大的白痴

200
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,480
‪對自己的想法無地自容

201
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:20,600
‪困惑、羞恥、懷疑，我趕快轉移話題

202
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,720
‪免得莎拉發現我的腦袋有多混亂

203
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,360
‪媽的，那我們還來幹嘛？

204
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,600
‪既不能哭，又沒有答案

205
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:30,360
‪我們本來可以在住家附近繞一繞的

206
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,040
‪我們必須來這裡做個了結

207
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:36,320
‪你被人砍了

208
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,880
‪然後縫個幾針，雖然還是會痛

209
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,280
‪但是會止血，傷口開始結疤

210
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,000
‪很好，法醫的回答方式

211
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:47,440
‪但我不知道為什麼
‪要專程跑650公里來弄個疤

212
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,200
‪不過我也沒有回答的力氣

213
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,000
‪我還在思考

214
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:55,040
‪自己20年來忽略艾麗琪的哪些舉動

215
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:58,400
‪你知道艾麗琪有點喜歡我嗎？

216
00:11:58,480 --> 00:11:59,360
‪知道

217
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,640
‪這是什麼意思？誰說的？

218
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:03,680
‪她說的

219
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:07,080
‪你沒回電的那天
‪她打電話找我一起出去

220
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,560
‪你們一起做什麼？

221
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,280
‪我們去吃冰淇淋

222
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:11,320
‪她說什麼？

223
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,680
‪說了一堆，講了四個小時

224
00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:15,000
‪她需要發洩

225
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,160
‪我說你混蛋，因為你也不理我

226
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:18,720
‪但我們還是朋友

227
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,280
‪怎麼不告訴我？

228
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,600
‪都兩年了，現在她都自殺了

229
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:26,360
‪你該接電話的啊！我又不是你的助理

230
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,400
‪好，媽的，只有我被蒙在鼓裡

231
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:32,960
‪你還不知道我介紹你們認識時
‪我跟她其實是一對

232
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,600
‪什麼？艾麗琪也是同性戀？

233
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:38,640
‪半個同志，不夠徹底，但我很有彈性

234
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,000
‪這是什麼意思？

235
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,640
‪妳們有因為我吵架嗎？

236
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,800
‪妳是說我毀了妳們的…

237
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:46,120
‪別又講那些屁話了！

238
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,160
‪我會說這個，是因為人性很複雜

239
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,840
‪大家都有隱晦的一面

240
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,920
‪你無法從外表看出

241
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,760
‪某些行為的動機

242
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:58,440
‪我們只能看到問題裡外的冰山一角

243
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,000
‪實際上能做的很少

244
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,280
‪我們只是葉子，記得嗎？

245
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,960
‪我一頭霧水，感覺就像自大的白痴

246
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:11,120
‪我知道一片葉子的比喻有道理

247
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:15,320
‪但這種說法沒辦法
‪跟30年前一樣讓我平靜了

248
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:26,360
‪我環顧四周

249
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:29,840
‪覺得我們就像舊抹布

250
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,440
‪又舊又薄的抹布

251
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,480
‪就像我們自己的人生

252
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:41,760
‪我們也很笨

253
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:44,880
‪因為我們老是愛跟別人的生活做比較

254
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:48,920
‪別人的生活
‪看起來完美無瑕，整齊劃一

255
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,880
‪但那也許只是因為旁觀者迷

256
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:55,600
‪我們盯著這些毫無意義的紙張時…

257
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:01,360
‪發現完全不是我們想要有的完美形狀

258
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,560
‪如果聖彼得顯靈

259
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:08,920
‪想知道我認識的人是什麼形狀…

260
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,640
‪我覺得聖彼得會問一堆白爛問題

261
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,000
‪（今天口試）

262
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:14,200
‪我會說…

263
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,720
‪某個想當老師的女孩子是什麼形狀

264
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:20,640
‪她終生追求那個夢想
‪沿虛線撕出那個形狀

265
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,560
‪但她的生命慢慢流失

266
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,600
‪日復一日，待在城外那間破辦公室

267
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:29,480
‪端咖啡給叫不出她名字的人

268
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,160
‪或者另一人的形狀，他常在危險邊緣

269
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,400
‪因為有一把神劍懸在他頭上

270
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,480
‪如果他家有電

271
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,080
‪那只是因為他很會打撲克牌

272
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:46,000
{\an8}‪或者因為其他玩家都很遜

273
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,800
‪也許我會告訴聖彼得…

274
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,320
‪我不知道這場戰鬥是否還在持續

275
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,640
‪還是過去就算了

276
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,600
‪我們知道就算撕壞形狀，還是能活著

277
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,360
‪只要接受我們絕對

278
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:03,120
‪不可能跟人生勝利組在同一國

279
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,680
‪但我們還是能圍在營火旁

280
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,480
‪提醒自己無論如何

281
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,880
‪紙張還是能讓我們暖和

282
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,000
‪有時這樣也就夠了

283
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:31,560
‪但有時不夠

284
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:45,440
‪你們是羅馬人嗎？

285
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:49,040
‪艾麗琪的媽媽要你們進來
‪可能有你們喜歡的東西

286
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:09,960
‪我們不知道艾麗琪
‪希望這種場合要怎麼進行

287
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:13,240
‪但我們知道她對自己的孩子有多驕傲

288
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,480
‪他們也會以她為榮

289
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,120
‪所以我們還是想聽他們的聲音

290
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,240
‪來吧，孩子！

291
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:28,040
‪艾麗琪，跟我們講那個王子的故事！

292
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:31,680
‪你們安靜我就再講一次

293
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:35,560
‪這是翟塔的故事，這個孩子討厭早上

294
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,360
‪因為他媽媽昨天晚上跟他說…

295
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:41,880
‪你明天要去艾美特咖啡廳買牛奶

296
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,240
‪誰一定會在那家店附近呢？

297
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,400
‪絆人王子！

298
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,160
‪對！絆人王子！

299
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:52,840
‪大家都知道他很危險

300
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,400
‪誰也不想去那家店

301
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,840
‪翟塔的女朋友維露斯卡跟他說…

302
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,040
‪如果你死了，可以把兔子給我嗎？

303
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,240
‪-早上…
‪-故事寫得真好

304
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:05,840
‪翟塔沒看到人

305
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,080
‪也許王子生病了

306
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,800
‪不對，突然出現某個長腿傢伙的影子

307
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,280
‪-要買冰淇淋嗎？
‪-是王子！

308
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:14,640
‪王子！

309
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,560
‪斷尾貓逃走，免得被絆倒

310
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:23,000
‪翟塔想穿越馬路
‪但是沒辦法，怎麼回事呢？

311
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,760
‪他絆倒了！

312
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:25,960
‪沒錯

313
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:29,040
‪大家都看見他跟一袋馬鈴薯一樣跌倒

314
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,240
‪他受傷了嗎？

315
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:33,760
‪一點點，但是會好的

316
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,240
‪他的膝蓋有流血嗎？

317
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,360
‪一點點，但是第二天就結疤了

318
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:44,120
‪艾麗琪，傷疤什麼時候會癒合？

319
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:45,880
‪傷疤是不會癒合的

320
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,040
‪傷疤就像別人搶不走的徽章

321
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:54,840
‪所以翟塔長大後，再也不怕那個王子

322
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:58,360
‪他會記得自己經歷過很多冒險

323
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:00,560
‪而且他跌倒後又爬了起來

324
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,640
‪為什麼傷疤不會癒合？

325
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,120
‪因為那是傷疤

326
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,520
‪沒辦法洗掉

327
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:11,120
‪雖然看來可怕，但是也很美

328
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:16,720
‪這就是人生

329
00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,280
‪（如果你或認識的人有自殺念頭）

330
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:03,600
‪（請善用輔導資源，網址是
‪www.wannatalkaboutit.com）

331
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:16,760
‪我要散散步

332
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:17,960
‪先休兵

333
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,280
‪只有今天吧？

334
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:21,920
‪沒錯

335
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,120
‪對

336
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:25,480
‪白痴

337
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,960
‪-不是說要休兵嗎？
‪-從現在開始

338
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:08,280
‪字幕翻譯：溫鳳祺