1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,916
[rock guitar riff playing]
2
00:00:08,591 --> 00:00:13,931
Pulled over by the cops 20 minutes after
we gave you the Vista Cruiser?
3
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,774
Who could have pulled off
something like that?
4
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:22,060
Only a criminal mastermind
without the mind.
5
00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:25,225
A Kelso.
6
00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:28,454
Trouble just follows them, honey.
7
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:31,028
They're like those frogs
in the rainforest.
8
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,244
Colorful and pretty,
9
00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:35,703
but if you lick them,
all your skin falls off and you die.
10
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,621
I'm sorry, but can we just stop
for a second?
11
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:41,495
Because how cute is this
that we are holding hands? [chuckles]
12
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,383
It finally happened, you guys!
13
00:00:44,669 --> 00:00:47,799
Grandpa, I know this looks bad,
but we only got pulled over
14
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,301
because the car had
license plates from 1980.
15
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,053
She's right, Mr. Forman.
16
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:54,845
Sometimes, if you're searching for blame,
17
00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:56,259
it's best to look inward.
18
00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:59,813
My foot's about to go inward your ass.
19
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,101
You can't set him up like that.
20
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:06,265
I know we're off to a rough start,
but give me a chance.
21
00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:09,687
Someday, this frog
is gonna turn into a butterfly.
22
00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:12,823
I'm getting stupider standing here.
23
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:17,204
You are banned from this house. Get out.
24
00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:18,535
What? No!
25
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,117
Honey. Honey.
26
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:23,417
Let go of the frog.
27
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,000
-[rock music playing]
-One, two, three, four!
28
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,836
♪ Hangin' out down the street ♪
29
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,921
♪ The same old thing we did last week ♪
30
00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:32,256
♪ Not a thing to do ♪
31
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:34,342
♪ But talk to you ♪
32
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:35,467
♪ We're all all right! ♪
33
00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:37,063
♪ We're all all right! ♪
34
00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:39,678
[young woman] Hello, Wisconsin!
35
00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:41,805
The Kool-Aid Man?
36
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,097
That's the tattoo you wanna get?
37
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:45,857
The key is to not overthink it.
38
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:47,689
Mission accomplished.
39
00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:52,029
Jay, I miss you, and I feel so bad
you can't be here for all the fun.
40
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,822
Gwen and Ozzie are talking.
41
00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:55,315
Nikki's chewing gum.
42
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,534
And Nate's adjusting his junk.
43
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,077
You need more powder, babe.
44
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:02,039
Summer's the worst season for your junk.
45
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,036
Hey. Can I talk to him?
46
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,092
Just come over, bro.
47
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:09,458
Leia's grandma's at the dentist.
Red's stuck at the DMV.
48
00:02:10,421 --> 00:02:11,551
Damn it. I miss you too.
49
00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:14,797
-He's coming over.
-He is?
50
00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:16,434
I gotta shave my pits!
51
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:17,761
[Jay] Uh, what?
52
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,886
[nervous chuckle] That was Nikki. Bye!
53
00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:22,725
Gwen. Help me.
54
00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:25,769
Boyfriend, day one.
55
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:27,896
Oh, I gotta take off too.
56
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,071
I'm meeting my SAT tutor in 20 minutes.
57
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,190
Again with that guy?
58
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:34,856
But you're already so smart.
You helped me escape from that trampoline.
59
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:39,236
Babe, I need to ace the SATs,
get into a good college, cure a disease,
60
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,995
and have my face on a stamp
so my enemies can lick it.
61
00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:48,707
She's spending a lot of time
with that tutor guy.
62
00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:50,173
Is someone feeling jealous?
63
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:51,963
No, I am.
64
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,883
I mean, she's with this guy all the time.
65
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,930
Do you think I have
anything to worry about?
66
00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:03,144
Tough to answer without knowing
who the guy is, but, knowing you,
67
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:05,139
maybe.
68
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:07,349
I know, right?
69
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,647
If it's really bothering you,
let's check this guy out.
70
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:12,233
Nah, I should just trust her.
71
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:16,857
Nate, I watch a lot of talk shows,
and I've learned two things.
72
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:18,534
People cheat.
73
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,202
And once a ho, always a ho.
74
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:24,204
[rock music playing]
75
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:27,956
I'm so happy you're here.
76
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,917
It's gonna be okay.
Take three steps forward.
77
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:33,463
I can't. What if Red comes home?
78
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,376
He is just being smart, Gwen.
79
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,545
Smart and hot and brave.
80
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,798
-I'm not scared of somebody's grandpa.
-[coughs]
81
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,177
-[Jay yells]
-[Sherri shrieks]
82
00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,183
Holy hell! I was just
trying to scooch by ya,
83
00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:48,095
not scare the Milk Duds
out of all of us. [exclaims]
84
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:50,476
Hi, Ms. Runck.
Sorry, but my grandma's not home.
85
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:53,863
I know. I gotta pick her up at the dentist
soon because she's gonna be zonked.
86
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:56,742
But I thought I'd pop over first
and do a little grocery shoppin'.
87
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,569
So much easier than going
all the way down to the store, ya know?
88
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:00,986
Mom!
89
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,704
-Grab me some yogurts.
-Oh.
90
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,081
Oh, you know it's the beginning
of a relationship
91
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:09,423
when the guy still goes outside
to cut the cheese.
92
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,290
Jay, just come in.
93
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,421
-I missed you so much.
-Missed you too.
94
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,295
What? He just get back
from Iraq or something?
95
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,471
They've been apart for one day.
Her grandpa banned him from the house.
96
00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:24,102
Sounds like Red's being
a hard-ass like my dad.
97
00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:25,930
He never believed in me.
98
00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:28,265
Sometimes I wonder
if that might've screwed me up.
99
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:29,351
No.
100
00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,895
Aw, that's nice, hon,
but I really think he did.
101
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:37,189
The point is, adults should be
more understanding. You know?
102
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,487
I mean, just throwing rules out at kids
is not the answer.
103
00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:42,491
So you'll sign off on me getting a tattoo?
104
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:43,871
Sorry, lady.
105
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,410
I'm fine with you making mistakes,
but not permanent ones.
106
00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:49,834
Tattoos, babies, and DUIs,
the unholy trinity.
107
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,665
Wait, isn't the dentist
like five minutes away?
108
00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:54,790
Jay, why don't we go pick up my grandma?
109
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:57,337
I know this isn't
the sexiest thing I've ever said,
110
00:04:58,089 --> 00:04:59,969
but I'm pretty sure
your grandpa can kick my ass.
111
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,724
But it would show him
how responsible you are.
112
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:06,263
Yeah, and while you're at it,
you gotta let Red know
113
00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:08,137
that you're tired of him judging ya.
114
00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:12,104
And still, to this day,
making you feel unworthy, disrespected,
115
00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:14,016
and like you're not a good mom!
116
00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:17,686
I feel like that wasn't all about us.
117
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,898
We have to try something.
118
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,146
Can we borrow your car?
119
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,784
Don't know if I should get
between you and your grandpa.
120
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,405
-We'll fill it up with gas.
-Here's my keys.
121
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,872
I'll stay here
and finish up my grocery shopping.
122
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,082
I know you're worried,
but all we have to do
123
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,876
is pick up my sweet, sedated grandma.
124
00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:37,879
♪ Give my regards to Broadway ♪
125
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:41,052
♪ Remember me to Herald Square ♪
126
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:42,302
Your turn!
127
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:45,513
♪ Something, something
Something, something, Broadway ♪
128
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,845
♪ Old people seem to like this song! ♪
129
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:48,770
Big finish!
130
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:51,098
♪ Give my regards to old Broadway! ♪
131
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,064
Gwen, stop encouraging her!
132
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:54,654
But this is fun.
133
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:57,149
She's high as a kite that's also on drugs.
134
00:05:57,231 --> 00:05:58,981
[laughs heartily]
135
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,067
Grandma, can you please just chill out?
136
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:03,202
Boo!
137
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,779
-Yeah. Yeah. Boo!
-Boo!
138
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:11,120
-Wait. We just passed a tattoo shop. Stop!
-Forget it, Gwen.
139
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,924
My only job is to get her home safe.
Okay? I'm not stopping for anything.
140
00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:16,789
-Red light!
-[brakes screech]
141
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,919
[exclaims, snorts]
142
00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:23,966
-[Kitty chuckles]
-Come on.
143
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:24,880
This is my chance.
144
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:27,387
Your grandma's out of it.
She'll sign the release.
145
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:31,637
Right, Mrs. Forman?
You want me to get a tattoo, don't you?
146
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:35,984
Yeah. And then let's steal a boat
and go to Vegas.
147
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,402
No. We're going home,
we're putting Grandma to bed,
148
00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:41,861
and we're showing my grandpa
that Jay is a responsible human being.
149
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,606
[rhythmic mouth noises]
150
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:53,827
-Guess who?
-Oh my God!
151
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,503
-[laughing]
-[Leia gasps] Oh my God!
152
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,001
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
153
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,843
[laughing]
154
00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:00,592
We'll be quick.
155
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:02,958
Later, nerds.
156
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:06,048
[rock music playing]
157
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,298
Nik?
158
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,137
[laughing] What?!
159
00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:12,312
You?! Here?!
160
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,720
I mean, whoa!
161
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,768
Now? How? What? Weird!
162
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,690
I told you I was gonna be here.
163
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,441
Right. Right, with your tutor.
164
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:24,073
I totally forgot about him. Where is he?
165
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:27,032
Oh, Trevor? Here he comes.
166
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,450
[seductive funk music playing]
167
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:41,092
[in slow motion] Holy sh-- [bleeped]
168
00:07:42,753 --> 00:07:44,213
[music fades]
169
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,047
Trevor, this is my boyfriend, Nate.
170
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:47,759
"Boyfriend"?
171
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:51,602
[snickering] More like "manfriend."
I can't grow any hair on my face,
172
00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:54,349
but from the waist down,
it is wall-to-wall carpeting.
173
00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:57,016
[in deep voice] And I'm Ozzie.
174
00:07:57,768 --> 00:08:00,608
My pediatrician said I'll be 6'2".
175
00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:03,767
-Oh. I've heard a lot about you.
-[Nate chuckles]
176
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,488
Nikki tells me
you're on the football team?
177
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:06,938
Yeah, but we couldn't do it
178
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:09,488
without guys like you
in the stands cheering us on. So…
179
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:12,702
Actually, Trevor got
a football scholarship to Notre Dame.
180
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:14,793
Not that he needs it.
His dad's a congressman.
181
00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:16,829
God bless America.
182
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,122
Well, this is fun.
183
00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:20,997
And normal.
184
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:24,554
Thanks for stopping by, but we really
need to get back to studying.
185
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:28,219
Oh yeah. Super busy day on our end too.
186
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:32,469
Ozzie's… lizard is sick,
and I have to help with the pills.
187
00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:35,563
They go in the butt.
188
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,266
[chuckles] Okay, cool.
189
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,561
Nice to meet you, Nate.
Nice to meet you, Ozzie.
190
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,095
[in normal voice] I'm 25.
191
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,645
[laughs]
192
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:47,856
You're screwed.
193
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:50,776
[Leia sighs]
194
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:52,283
[both] What's taking so long?
195
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,325
Aw, we said that at the same time.
We're adorable.
196
00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:57,619
I can't do adorable right now.
197
00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,163
If your grandpa beats us home…
198
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:01,374
-He's…
-[both] Gonna kill us.
199
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,580
Okay, that was cute.
200
00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:07,375
Finally.
201
00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:09,593
-Let's see it.
-Oh, I bailed on the tattoo.
202
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,844
Some lady cut in front of me,
and it was taking forever.
203
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:13,968
I got a tattoo!
204
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:17,347
To Vegas!
205
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:21,064
[rock music playing]
206
00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:23,022
So I was right.
207
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,444
That Trevor dude is
obviously trying to seduce Nikki.
208
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,733
I don't think he needs to try very hard.
209
00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:31,398
How am I gonna save my relationship?
210
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:33,277
He's hot. He's smart.
211
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:35,124
He doesn't owe Nikki 70 bucks.
212
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:38,485
I got it.
213
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,618
I'll go kick his ass. Duh!
214
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:42,495
So you're the "let's bring him out" guy.
215
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:43,422
The what guy?
216
00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:45,379
There's one on every talk show.
217
00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:48,338
The host says, "Let's bring him out."
218
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,591
Everyone boos.
219
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,012
Then he says, "You don't know me."
220
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:56,045
Have you never seen a talk show?
221
00:09:57,138 --> 00:10:01,098
-[theme music plays]
-[audience chanting] Ozzie! Ozzie! Ozzie!
222
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,103
Welcome back!
223
00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:06,395
Today, we have Nikki and Trevor.
224
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:07,860
[audience] Aww!
225
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,690
They may look like the perfect couple,
226
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,195
but somebody has a problem with that.
227
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:15,623
Let's bring him out.
228
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,118
[theme music plays]
229
00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:18,489
[audience] Boo!
230
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:21,406
Hey, you don't know me! You don't know me!
231
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,035
Nate.
232
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:26,790
Why don't you tell us
what's gotten you so upset?
233
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:30,586
That's my girlfriend,
and now she's hanging out with this chump,
234
00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:32,511
and suddenly I'm not good enough for her.
235
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:33,420
Nikki?
236
00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:37,927
Nate's fine, but… Trevor stimulates
my mind and my body.
237
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,432
-[audience exclaims]
-Both?!
238
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:40,603
That's impossible!
239
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,267
Not for me.
240
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,770
[audience exclaiming]
241
00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:45,902
Nate, stop.
242
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:49,188
I'm done playing around.
Nik, you need to make a choice.
243
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,530
Is it him? Or is it me?
244
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:52,689
Oh, then him.
245
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:54,447
This guy?!
246
00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:55,698
You don't know him.
247
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:57,821
You don't know him.
248
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,535
[audience exclaims]
249
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,119
Shut up! You don't know me!
250
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:05,464
-[audience booing]
-You don't know me!
251
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:08,708
Nobody knows you.
252
00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:11,499
Stop saying that.
253
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:14,837
-[theme music plays]
-[audience cheering]
254
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:17,835
I need to talk to Nikki.
255
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:22,058
-And what are you gonna say to her?
-This is getting weird, dude.
256
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,142
We'll be right back.
257
00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:28,353
[rock music playing]
258
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,403
A tattoo?!
259
00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:33,231
I don't even wear waterproof mascara.
260
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:34,818
Red's gonna kill me.
261
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:35,902
Gwen.
262
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:39,816
I know. But I stopped her
from getting a barbed wire tramp stamp.
263
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:41,367
So you're welcome.
264
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:45,710
Grandma, I am so sorry.
None of this was supposed to happen.
265
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,078
How are you cooking dinner now?
266
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:51,594
It is helping me deal with the stress
of waking up with a flipping tattoo!
267
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:53,503
What's the emergency?
268
00:11:53,587 --> 00:11:56,127
D'you run out of eggs?
'Cause I don't know how that happened.
269
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:58,175
Look what happened at the dentist.
270
00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:00,759
Holy crapola!
271
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:04,265
I heard of them feeling you up
when you're out, but this crosses a line.
272
00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:06,805
My mother would be rolling in her grave,
273
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,982
if we hadn't spread her ashes
274
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,861
in the parking lot
of the Sizzler by her church.
275
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,229
Did you get one too?
276
00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:16,436
You've been talking nonstop about tatties.
277
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:19,197
No. You told me not to get one,
and I always follow what you tell me.
278
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,320
Good. Those things are
a one-way ticket to whore town.
279
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:25,243
Sorry.
280
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,075
Are you sure there is no way
to get this off?
281
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:31,044
Is there a… a special cream or something?
282
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:33,785
If there was I wouldn't have
Fred Flintstone riding a surfboard
283
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:34,998
on my hip bone.
284
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:36,755
[door shuts]
285
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,837
That's Red.
Good Lord, what is he gonna think?
286
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,796
Oh man, he's gonna be pissed.
287
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:45,677
Stomp around,
probably take away my allowance.
288
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:51,096
Sorry. It's a Dad flashback.
289
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:52,982
You need to get out of here.
290
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:55,363
No, I'm not leaving you here
to take the blame.
291
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,691
Cool. If he has
the blame thing covered, I'm out.
292
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,197
Hang on.
293
00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:02,025
Take these. We're low on fresh produce.
294
00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:05,374
[sighs] Don't let Grandpa see your wrist
295
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,241
until we figure out
the best way to tell him.
296
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:10,868
I do not keep things from my husband.
He is a reasonable man.
297
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:19,970
Down in hell,
there's this little room in the wayback
298
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:23,589
where the devil craps fire
into your mouth.
299
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:29,099
That's the DMV.
300
00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:33,147
How was your day, dear?
301
00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:35,771
Oh, it was just… It was…
302
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,693
It… It was great.
303
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:42,448
Just, like, nothing crazy happened.
304
00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:45,069
And what's he doing here?
305
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:46,077
Um…
306
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:49,538
He brought Grandma the chicken.
[chuckles] From his garden.
307
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,620
Yes.
308
00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:52,124
I was making supper.
309
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,883
I… I have to get up inside there.
310
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:58,918
Oh yeah.
311
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,011
This is gonna be yummy.
312
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:05,467
Wanna take that chicken off your hand?
313
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:07,676
I do not.
314
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:12,975
I'm gonna go get the laundry now.
315
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:21,686
[rock music playing]
316
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:25,526
I am so disappointed in you.
317
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:27,368
All of you.
318
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:31,330
But especially you, little Kelso.
319
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:33,582
I was wrong the other day.
320
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:37,424
You are a complete waste
of a foot in the ass.
321
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,092
You never even gave him a chance.
322
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:43,340
You decided based on his last name
that you were going to hate him.
323
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,474
This is so unfair.
324
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,590
And that's what makes it fun for me.
325
00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:48,104
Leia, he's right.
326
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:52,518
It is my fault, sir.
I was the one driving.
327
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:55,734
Look, I'm not proud of what happened,
328
00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:59,771
but I do believe the mistakes we make
are what turn us into the men we become.
329
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,863
And I would like to become a man
worthy of dating your granddaughter.
330
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,158
-Get out.
-Already gone.
331
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:09,203
And you, go to your room.
332
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,203
[door closes]
333
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,285
Red, don't you think
you're being a little harsh?
334
00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:17,832
Yeah, they made a mistake,
but nobody got hurt.
335
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,877
My wife is tatted up
like she's doing time at Rikers.
336
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,420
I'm starting to like it.
337
00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:27,376
I feel like Rizzo from Grease.
338
00:15:29,386 --> 00:15:33,966
All I asked you to do
was to give Kitty a simple ride home.
339
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:39,148
But you pawned it off on the kids
and turned it into a circus.
340
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,227
Like everything in your life.
341
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:43,191
You know what?
342
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,033
Screw you.
343
00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:46,397
[scoffs]
344
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:47,907
You're such a blowhard.
345
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:50,198
You know how many years
I spent getting yelled at,
346
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,492
being told how much I messed up?
347
00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:56,366
So you don't have to respect me,
because I finally respect myself.
348
00:15:56,455 --> 00:16:00,035
And I don't have to stand here
while you yell at me anymore.
349
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:04,545
And thanks a lot for never teaching me
how to ride a bike!
350
00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:09,219
Do I look like her father?
351
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,063
[Kitty sighs]
352
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,305
I brought you a little treat.
353
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,024
-What's with her?
-Oh, Red.
354
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:22,982
Leia is a teenager.
355
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:26,525
She's bursting with hormones
and bad decisions.
356
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,360
I was talking about Sherri.
357
00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:31,905
Well, she's bursting with hormones
and bad decisions too.
358
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,537
I mean…
359
00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:39,458
If she has issues with her father,
let her go and yell at him.
360
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:40,500
Yeah.
361
00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:45,092
It's not great when people blame you
for other people's problems.
362
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:46,707
[grumbles]
363
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:49,879
What?
364
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,387
Jay is not his father.
365
00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:56,176
He could have run off,
let Leia take all the blame.
366
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:59,725
But you saw how he stood up for her
and took responsibility.
367
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,560
Michael Kelso would never have done that.
368
00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:05,475
Michael Kelso glued himself
to our refrigerator.
369
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:09,242
I think you're setting the bar kinda low.
370
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,362
Well, look, Red. I'm guilty of it too.
371
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:14,407
Leia's right.
372
00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:16,831
We never really did give Jay a chance.
373
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,292
-[Red sighs]
-Oh, oh, oh, oh!
374
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:24,883
I know that sound.
It means you're starting to come around.
375
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,593
While you're a little open-minded…
376
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:30,054
Do you hate it?
377
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:32,931
Well, actually…
378
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:36,220
-It's kind of adventurous.
-[Kitty giggles]
379
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:37,675
[murmurs playfully]
380
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,228
Oh!
381
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,189
I know what you're in the mood for.
382
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:43,809
Yeah. [chuckles]
383
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,611
Yeah!
384
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:53,529
[Nikki] Hey, babe.
385
00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:57,698
Are you okay?
386
00:17:57,785 --> 00:18:00,445
You didn't squeeze my butt
and say, "Hey, ladies."
387
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:04,537
Nik, I'm kind of freaking out about us.
388
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:07,205
-You've been spending time with Trevor--
-Trevor?
389
00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:09,674
Nate, there's nothing
between me and Trevor.
390
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,335
You know I don't like muscular guys.
391
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,222
I don't know how I feel about that, but…
392
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:19,176
It's not just him.
It's all this other stuff.
393
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:20,934
The SATs, the studying.
394
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,601
I'm afraid you're gonna leave me behind.
395
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:27,016
Nate, I'm not going to college
to leave you behind.
396
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:30,276
I'm… I'm going to college
so I can have a future.
397
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:32,740
Am I in that future?
398
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:34,610
Well, the future's not set.
399
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,454
There's no fate
but what we make for ourselves.
400
00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:39,988
You're hot and you quote Terminator 2!
401
00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:43,873
I can't imagine not being with you.
402
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:47,875
I need you to tell me
we're always gonna be together.
403
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:49,669
Hey, come here.
404
00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:56,259
Babe, I don't know what's gonna happen.
All I know is that I love you.
405
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:58,426
And I hope that's enough.
406
00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:00,723
It is.
407
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,864
-Feeling better?
-Yeah.
408
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,734
Hello, ladies. [chuckles]
409
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,441
Okay, well I have to head home for dinner.
410
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,277
-Are you sure you're okay?
-Yeah.
411
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:19,704
-Yeah, totally.
-Okay.
412
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,953
[melancholic rock music playing]
413
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:25,713
[knocking]
414
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,378
Hey there.
415
00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:32,089
Listen, kiddo. I've been thinking.
416
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,971
If you really want to see this Kelso kid,
417
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:37,715
I'll give him a chance.
418
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:39,757
Really?
419
00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:43,722
But you gotta be careful.
No more joyrides.
420
00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:46,767
And he's not allowed upstairs. Fair?
421
00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:50,649
So fair. I'll tell Jay everything
the next time I see him.
422
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:51,731
Uh-huh.
423
00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:58,863
Already gone.
424
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,200
[Leia and Jay] Bye, babe!
425
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:02,583
[both] Aww!
426
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:07,209
[rock music playing]
427
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:10,291
I talked to Kitty, and I gotta tell ya,
428
00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:12,336
I know you're not my dad.
429
00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:15,757
For one thing, you're alive.
430
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:18,839
And also you're not a jerk.
431
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:24,846
Well, uh, are we here to chat or…
or learn?
432
00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:26,932
Now… like we practiced.
433
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:29,557
[Sherri exhales]
My balance is probably pretty good
434
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:32,435
from all those times
I walked home drunk in high heels.
435
00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:36,105
Oh, I'm doing it! I'm doing it!
436
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:38,533
All right, there you go. Now turn around.
437
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:39,532
Hey, I'm doing it.
438
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:40,663
Good job.
439
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:44,453
-Now, brake. Okay, now brake.
-Oh, whoa! [screams]
440
00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:45,544
[crashing]
441
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:46,829
[Red] You idiot!
442
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,412
[Sherri] Don't worry. I'm okay.
443
00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:51,417
[rock music playing]