1
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:09,930
‎好激动

2
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,811
‎我们的第一台电脑
‎我感觉像柯克船长

3
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:18,392
‎还有 奥兹 你真贴心 还帮我们安装

4
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:20,516
‎我就不明白 我们要这东西干嘛

5
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,363
‎雷德 这是未来所趋

6
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:25,439
‎咱俩至少有一个人得跟上时代

7
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:29,525
‎快看 还带着个小踏板
‎就像我的缝纫机

8
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,067
‎不 那是鼠标

9
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:34,871
‎鼠标是干什么用的？

10
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:36,621
‎在你阁楼里拉粑粑

11
00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:38,957
‎放轻松点 雷德

12
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,789
‎美国正步入线上 咱们也得出份力

13
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:45,915
‎如今我们可以
‎了解时事、体育、政治资讯了

14
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,594
‎我已经在了解了

15
00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,672
‎这个叫报纸

16
00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:52,715
‎知道我喜欢它什么吗？

17
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:56,309
‎它不与政府连线

18
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,644
‎这东西跟政府连着吗？

19
00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:02,598
‎是的 总统现在就能看到你

20
00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:04,187
‎我知道你在开玩笑

21
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,026
‎不过 万一你是认真的

22
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,449
‎嗨 比尔 我超爱看你上深夜秀

23
00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,949
‎内特 你要二手热水浴缸做什么？

24
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:19,745
‎里面糊得净是别人的体液

25
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:23,246
‎是啊 我们也可以糊

26
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,127
‎好浪漫

27
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:29,167
‎妮可 这个不要钱
‎除了它 也就还有只山羊是白给的

28
00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:31,552
‎我爱你 但我不想跟你共享山羊

29
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:33,723
‎万一咱俩分手呢？山羊归谁？

30
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:38,101
‎我父母离了婚 信我一句
‎最好还是别逼山羊做出选择

31
00:01:38,681 --> 00:01:40,561
‎明天你自己去取那恶心的二手浴缸

32
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,942
‎我们约了去“魅力摄影”拍照

33
00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:43,979
‎没关系

34
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,652
‎可以等我的小胡子长出来
‎再去“魅力摄影”

35
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,190
‎那就是“遥遥无期”咯

36
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:53,151
‎闭嘴 格温 我喝牛奶时
‎差不多就能看出来呢

37
00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:57,489
‎听着 妮可 这东西可是先到先得

38
00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,785
‎机会不等人
‎之前我就是这么错失超大狗笼的

39
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,869
‎-你没养狗
‎-但我可能会得到一只山羊

40
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:02,785
‎我受够了

41
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:07,171
‎你都不跟我好好沟通感情

42
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:09,843
‎感情 是吧？

43
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:11,669
‎感情有啥用？

44
00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:14,303
‎那你不介意我们只做朋友咯？

45
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,764
‎必须的 这多好 我喜欢

46
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:18,886
‎好得很

47
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:22,099
‎又爽又开心

48
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:28,190
‎你的策略奏效了
‎他的憨男脑都烧短路了

49
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,275
‎就像玩电子游戏卡住了

50
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:38,871
‎妮可 我可不会
‎继续守在这里看你不理人

51
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:41,697
‎杰伊 跟我去取热水浴缸不？

52
00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:43,366
‎好啊 干啥？

53
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:45,867
‎好啊 干啥？

54
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,920
‎-兄弟！
‎-嗯 我来了

55
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,800
‎长者电脑日干活累了？

56
00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:01,391
‎我试着跟你奶奶解释
‎什么是“虚拟桌面”

57
00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,062
‎然后还得解释“虚拟”

58
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:06,725
‎后来不知怎的 还得解释桌子

59
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:09,225
‎你不是非得帮她

60
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,864
‎这不是为了她 而是为了我

61
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:14,650
‎她只是大计划的一部分
‎我想向你奶奶出柜

62
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,027
‎哇 好吧

63
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:21,450
‎我…你看起来那么自信
‎我以为大家都知道了

64
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:24,084
‎我是个生活在威斯康辛小镇的小同志

65
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,792
‎法院停车场还有拴马的地方

66
00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:30,841
‎对我来说 向任何人出柜都是大事

67
00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:34,089
‎我可以体会 七年级时 我挣扎了很久

68
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,932
‎才跟父母说我想从单簧管改吹双簧管

69
00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:40,804
‎但最终还是成了

70
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:42,930
‎你也可以的

71
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:44,927
‎是啊

72
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,596
‎绝对是一码事

73
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:50,230
‎一 二 三 四

74
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,323
‎在街上闲逛

75
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,278
‎和上周没什么两样

76
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:58,569
‎没什么事好做 就跟你唠唠嗑

77
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,275
‎这样挺好 这样挺好

78
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:02,196
‎（90年代秀）

79
00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:03,913
‎你好 威斯康辛！

80
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,544
‎你为什么想向我奶奶出柜？

81
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:09,251
‎这是我16步出柜计划的第七步

82
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,076
‎原来出柜还得分步

83
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,707
‎每年在棕榈泉开会
‎我们都会更新步骤

84
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:15,918
‎我开玩笑的

85
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:18,470
‎我知道

86
00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:20,429
‎我有同性恋朋友 也有所了解

87
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:22,724
‎你在说我吗？

88
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,058
‎对的

89
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:29,729
‎如我之前所说 我在朝最终阶段迈进

90
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,348
‎向父母坦白

91
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,022
‎我刚完成了第六步

92
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,357
‎向仅有一面之缘的陌生人出柜

93
00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:39,401
‎不好意思 我想你打错了

94
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,407
‎还有…我是同性恋

95
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,025
‎不用找了 我是同性恋

96
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:52,922
‎我是同性恋！

97
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:56,879
‎弹起来的时候 我又跟他说了一遍

98
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,968
‎接下来是第七步
‎向时常见面的成年人出柜

99
00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:03,761
‎也就是你的奶奶

100
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,349
‎太好了 她特别喜欢你

101
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,135
‎所有女人都喜欢我

102
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:11,021
‎真可惜

103
00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:14,647
‎你能不能帮我探探路？

104
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,151
‎我只想确定是否找对人了

105
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,783
‎找她没问题的 我奶奶比谁都贴心

106
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:23,031
‎我的奶奶瞅着也很贴心
‎除非你在公共场合哺乳

107
00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:27,115
‎那她就会往你脸上呲香水
‎还会骂你是破鞋

108
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:33,789
‎在这儿呢

109
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:38,959
‎这比我们上次发现那片裸体海滩还爽

110
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:43,215
‎然后就看到我的棒球教练压弓步

111
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,886
‎我现在的人生就这种感觉

112
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,930
‎一个松垮垮、软塌塌的蛋蛋

113
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:51,426
‎兄弟…

114
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:55,194
‎你因为莉亚丧成这样 我看着好郁闷

115
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,570
‎知道干啥能好受点吗？

116
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,776
‎女阴手 来吧

117
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:07,529
‎-好精准
‎-这才是好玩的地方

118
00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:10,873
‎妹妹不见了 痛苦又回来了

119
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:13,788
‎你们好 小伙子

120
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,170
‎你好 女士 我们为浴缸的事来过电话

121
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:17,340
‎哦 对

122
00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:18,958
‎能转手真是太好了

123
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,545
‎这东西以前是我先生的

124
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:23,510
‎他去世后 我就没再怎么用了

125
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:25,591
‎我很遗憾 他是怎么死的？

126
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:26,636
‎他是淹死的

127
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:31,055
‎-你还想要热水浴缸吗？
‎-杰伊

128
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:32,886
‎他是在湖里淹死的

129
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:33,805
‎太好了！

130
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,397
‎我是说 请节哀顺变

131
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:39,479
‎我只是…不想要个闹鬼的热水浴缸

132
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:41,114
‎那我们要了

133
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,692
‎稍等 你们不想先试试吗？

134
00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:50,494
‎你们觉得够热吗？

135
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:51,736
‎是的 女士

136
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,155
‎刚才是谁的脚？

137
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,536
‎我喜欢这个游戏

138
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,430
‎凯蒂 快过来

139
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:15,387
‎你需要什么？

140
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:17,516
‎它醒了

141
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,732
‎嗯 挺可爱的

142
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:24,145
‎我一小时前让它睡了 现在肯定饿了

143
00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:29,202
‎现在它死了

144
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:31,828
‎没事

145
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,949
‎他对艾瑞克一开始也没好脸色

146
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,669
‎嗨 奶奶 我能问你点事吗？

147
00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:41,339
‎这事有点敏感私密

148
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:44,459
‎是青涩话题吗？我好怀念这样

149
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:46,923
‎对 是关于我朋友的

150
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:49,088
‎明白 你朋友 好的

151
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,967
‎我跟艾瑞克也经常聊他那些“朋友”

152
00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:55,637
‎他的“朋友”尿床了

153
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,805
‎他的“朋友”迷上了一个老师

154
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:02,395
‎他的“朋友”下身被橡皮筋勒住了

155
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,901
‎总之…

156
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:12,702
‎你听完这件事 可能会觉得不舒服

157
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:15,543
‎是毒品吗？你应该告诉你朋友

158
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,870
‎刚开始只是罐啤酒 没等你反应过来

159
00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:20,415
‎你就吸粉睡公园了

160
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:22,877
‎不关毒品的事

161
00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:27,296
‎我不能明说 但这事很重要

162
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:32,891
‎这样做需要勇气
‎因为迈出这一步 就回不了头了

163
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:35,394
‎好的 明白

164
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:39,894
‎那就告诉你朋友
‎什么时候找我聊都可以

165
00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,648
‎谢谢奶奶 你是最酷的

166
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:46,650
‎没错 泰然自若就是我

167
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:51,487
‎唐娜 我是凯蒂 你女儿要尝禁果了

168
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:02,375
‎真奇怪 你我从来没单独一起玩过

169
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:03,538
‎为什么？

170
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:04,956
‎我对你没意见

171
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:07,051
‎我只是喜欢跟别人玩

172
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:08,967
‎我也是

173
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,838
‎你哥哥居然为一个热水浴缸把我扔下

174
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,966
‎他愿意洗澡 你就知足吧

175
00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:17,523
‎我好无聊

176
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:20,024
‎我们要不要找点事做？

177
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:21,438
‎一起吗？

178
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:24,399
‎-我也没无聊到那种地步
‎-嗯 我也是

179
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:25,860
‎我们毫无共同点

180
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,567
‎好吧 我们有一个共同点

181
00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:32,028
‎必须的

182
00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:34,872
‎等等 我的手链呢？

183
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,450
‎我不知道 我没见过

184
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:41,963
‎你真有趣

185
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:44,633
‎你也很有趣

186
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,381
‎要不组个趣葱圈？

187
00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:50,009
‎趣葱圈！

188
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,427
‎只要点一下这里 就可以上网了

189
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,969
‎现在感觉好紧张

190
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:02,346
‎感觉就像新开了一卷保鲜膜

191
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:06,105
‎第一下撕错了地方
‎接下来六个月都不好过

192
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,193
‎按一下就对了

193
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:21,453
‎好吧 互联网就是两个小魔兽对吼

194
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,865
‎-形容得还挺形象
‎-就是

195
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:29,375
‎在继续之前 我有件事想跟你说

196
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:30,919
‎呃…

197
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,086
‎你没事吧？

198
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,143
‎你好像很紧张
‎是不是把马桶给塞了？

199
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:38,758
‎这不怪你 我家管道太老旧

200
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,387
‎是我自己的事 我和别人不太…

201
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:44,886
‎她人在哪？

202
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:47,437
‎莉亚 妈妈来了 赶紧给我下来

203
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:49,569
‎莉亚！

204
00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:53,606
‎一路还顺利吗？

205
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:57,741
‎路上堵得厉害 我溜边溜了11公里

206
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,664
‎妈妈 你怎么来了？

207
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,162
‎就是这小子？

208
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:03,163
‎这就是你的小禁果？

209
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:06,671
‎什么？

210
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,879
‎我跟你妈妈说了你朋友犯冲动的事

211
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:15,682
‎我给你买了避孕套、凝胶、海绵
‎还有我能找到的最难看的内裤

212
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:21,677
‎-安定？
‎-那是给我的

213
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,640
‎妈 我没想发生性行为

214
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:30,194
‎好吧 那你想告诉奶奶什么秘密？

215
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:35,356
‎其实吧 我是想发生性行为

216
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:38,201
‎找个男生…在床上

217
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,530
‎还有…其他干这事儿的地方

218
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,156
‎你来得正好 她荷尔蒙指数都爆表了

219
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,995
‎没事做时 就画鸡鸡

220
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:52,881
‎都魔怔了

221
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,719
‎总统会听到的

222
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:04,267
‎好吧 听着

223
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:07,598
‎你没有草率行事
‎而是坦诚告诉我们 我为你骄傲

224
00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:10,902
‎-也许我们该谈谈性事了
‎-我们谈过了

225
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:13,150
‎那时候讲的都是
‎什么妹妹、棍棍、洞洞的

226
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,862
‎这次要用专有名词了

227
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:20,819
‎嗨 圈儿！

228
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,366
‎-咋啦 圈儿？
‎-你现在想做什么？

229
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:27,202
‎有件事我和内特经常一起做

230
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,868
‎但跟你一起应该更好玩

231
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:35,300
‎（魅力摄影）

232
00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:54,272
‎（避孕套）

233
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:58,744
‎-好了 莉亚 现在你对我说
‎-那些词我说不出口

234
00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,989
‎好吧 那怎么舒服就怎么说

235
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:05,372
‎一旦棍棍进了妹妹 就不能进洞洞

236
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:08,827
‎等等 棍棍是哪个来着？要不这样？

237
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:11,713
‎不管啥进过啥 都别往啥里放

238
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,792
‎妈妈 我们真的不用搞这么大阵仗

239
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:18,047
‎我的确有喜欢的男生 我对他有想法

240
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:20,630
‎他有件吊腰的T恤衫…

241
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,643
‎我超嫉妒 真希望我是那件T恤衫

242
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,604
‎要来真的了

243
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,390
‎没有啦 我都还没吻过他

244
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:32,268
‎你告诉他你的感受了吗？

245
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:33,600
‎算是吧

246
00:13:34,271 --> 00:13:37,401
‎但搞得一团糟 我完全不得要领

247
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,153
‎这是家族遗传

248
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:42,275
‎-你也是？
‎-我？不 是你爸爸

249
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:48,405
‎不管尝试多少次…他总是会搞砸

250
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:52,330
‎但我总会回到他身边…
‎因为他有一颗赤诚之心

251
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:55,504
‎就像你一样

252
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,917
‎等等 也就是说
‎老爸没有他说的那么厉害

253
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,299
‎这么说吧 你能出生算走运了

254
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,562
‎玛丽安 我觉得很迷茫

255
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:13,439
‎我都认不清我自己了

256
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,689
‎失去拉尔夫时 我也有过这种感觉

257
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:18,572
‎我的整个世界都被颠覆了

258
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,111
‎我就是那种 玛尔

259
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:24,321
‎但你能够适应 然后向前看

260
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:26,565
‎人生还有更多惊喜等着你

261
00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:28,581
‎太深刻了

262
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:33,042
‎我之前也是这么说的
‎只是没有亡夫而已

263
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:36,582
‎奶奶 不可以 我说过了
‎别再把男人骗进你的热水浴缸了

264
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:40,964
‎什…没有啊 我们只是拿走前先试试

265
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,586
‎兄弟 这就是骗人的地方

266
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:49,139
‎我楼上有张免费的大床
‎如果愿意的话 可以试试

267
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,272
‎-免费的？
‎-兄弟

268
00:14:57,062 --> 00:15:00,072
‎-对不起 她浪费了你们的时间
‎-不 不算浪费

269
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:02,939
‎我最近正失落 她给了我很好的建议

270
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:05,197
‎是啊 她总爱帮帅哥

271
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:08,237
‎我要找《省钱一族》举报你

272
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:18,083
‎抱歉 我淡定的家人
‎搅合了你的关键时刻

273
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,286
‎没关系

274
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:22,877
‎在回家的路上
‎我告诉了过境警卫 以保持功力

275
00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:26,881
‎好了 准备好听点肉麻的

276
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:30,008
‎谢谢你昨天帮我打掩护

277
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,465
‎你不必这么做 但这对我意义非凡

278
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:34,524
‎当然了 奥兹

279
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:37,557
‎虽然你说我画鸡鸡 给我挖坑

280
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,475
‎但我就当你是慌不择路吧

281
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:43,281
‎我当时很慌 心里这么想就这么说了

282
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,819
‎好了 莉莉 我走了

283
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,914
‎只能走正道的话 路上的用时得翻倍

284
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:52,240
‎-好的 妈妈 爱你
‎-爱你

285
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,751
‎-很高兴认识你 奥兹
‎-我也一样

286
00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:57,749
‎看来莉亚的美貌是随了妈妈

287
00:15:58,707 --> 00:15:59,827
‎你真讨人喜欢

288
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,213
‎你俩确定不会发生关系？

289
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,054
‎-确定
‎-绝对的

290
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:09,054
‎按下回车键 就能登录邮箱了

291
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:12,433
‎你有邮件

292
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:15,723
‎我的天 我收到了邮件 太刺激了

293
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,348
‎虽说我生过娃 但这个也相当刺激

294
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:20,814
‎其实 邮件是我发的

295
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:24,533
‎我有话一直想跟你说 打开吧

296
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:26,986
‎好

297
00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:30,321
‎双击一下小邮箱

298
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,374
‎天啊

299
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:35,290
‎跑哪儿去了？

300
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:36,995
‎就在这里

301
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:39,869
‎点啊点

302
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,496
‎不 是角落里的小邮箱

303
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:44,835
‎-全没了
‎-在这后面

304
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,420
‎-在啥后面？
‎-那个窗口

305
00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:52,845
‎重启 那…

306
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,474
‎我们得等五分钟

307
00:16:58,892 --> 00:16:59,732
‎算了

308
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,230
‎福尔曼太太

309
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:03,935
‎我是同性恋

310
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,992
‎我知道很久了 现在想告诉你

311
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:10,738
‎我还有个叫艾蒂安的男友
‎他住在加拿大

312
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,236
‎我不知道对此该作何感想

313
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:22,040
‎我朋友莎朗就嫁了一个加国人
‎他把莎朗的丰田旅行车偷跑了

314
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:26,094
‎车里还放着她猫咪的骨灰
‎可把她坑惨了

315
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,633
‎但…你不介意我是同性恋吗？

316
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:31,966
‎当然不介意

317
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:36,428
‎好孩子 到这儿来

318
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:42,234
‎你让我觉得自己很特别

319
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,700
‎这就是你帮我装电脑的原因吗？

320
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,527
‎不 是因为我喜欢

321
00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:09,762
‎那个…昨天 是吧？

322
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:11,881
‎真没想到

323
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,005
‎我们…？

324
00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:18,716
‎玩爽了没？必须的 两回呢

325
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:22,600
‎-还是别提这件事了
‎-秘密带进坟墓里

326
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:25,308
‎妮可 坐这儿吧

327
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:28,023
‎我要拿这片生菜去喂山羊

328
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:29,822
‎你不会吧

329
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,860
‎不要钱的呀

330
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,820
‎你现在是山羊妈妈了

331
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:36,817
‎好吧 真可爱

332
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:41,446
‎好了 第七步搞定 接下来呢？

333
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:42,747
‎-我偷了辆车
‎-真的吗？

334
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,540
‎没有 我告诉了我的儿科医生

335
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,997
‎天啊 杰伊进来了

336
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:50,796
‎还穿着那件小T恤

337
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,551
‎我的天啊 他累的时候越发帅了

338
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,758
‎你说这友情牌 我还要打多久？

339
00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,345
‎难说 是你出了这不着调的主意

340
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,179
‎去找他谈谈就是了

341
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,427
‎我该怎么说？

342
00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:07,598
‎在番茄酱跟前
‎对他说出我的爱？太可怕了

343
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:10,608
‎我刚跟你奶奶出柜
‎你连跟知道你心意的男生说出心意

344
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:11,531
‎都不敢哇

345
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:17,198
‎-那是妮基的发箍吗？
‎-什么？

346
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:18,618
‎不是

347
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:20,485
‎嘿

348
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,123
‎嗨

349
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:25,659
‎还记得那天晚上
‎我说只想跟你做朋友吗？

350
00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:28,127
‎是啊 真意外 还是不好受那种

351
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,960
‎那我接下来要说的 你肯定爱听

352
00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:33,795
‎抱歉 停车费了好大功夫

353
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,091
‎你的朋友在停车场追着一只山羊乱跑

354
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,375
‎还有一个女生冲他吼叫

355
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:40,386
‎咱们第一次约会至少有件趣事

356
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,017
‎赛琳娜 这是我朋友莉亚

357
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,190
‎你好 朋友

358
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:52,109
‎我就是…来打点番茄酱

359
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:58,202
‎雷德？

360
00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:02,371
‎你在做什么？

361
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,160
‎没什么 回去睡觉吧

362
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,252
‎雷德福尔曼 你把手拿开

363
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:17,012
‎这是拉蔻儿薇芝？

364
00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:23,719
‎还真是！

365
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:26,807
‎雷德福尔曼

366
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:32,022
‎你用新电脑了 我真高兴

367
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,605
‎好了 帮我找找柯克道格拉斯的

368
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:40,114
‎-穿角斗士装那种
‎-好

369
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:42,623
‎尽情享受吧

370
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:47,865
‎重启中

371
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:30,118
‎字幕翻译：Zeo Niu