1
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:09,930
This is so exciting.

2
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,300
Oh! Our first computer.

3
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:13,807
I feel like Captain Kirk.

4
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:15,354
Oh.

5
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:18,392
And, Ozzie, you are a doll
for helping us set it up.

6
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:20,516
I don't understand why we need that thing.

7
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,363
It is the future, Red.

8
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:25,359
One of us has to stay hip
and current with the times.

9
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,282
Oh, look.

10
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:29,529
It comes with a little foot pedal
like my sewing machine.

11
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,067
No, that's the mouse.

12
00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:33,407
Oh.

13
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:34,871
What does a mouse do?

14
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:36,621
It craps in your attic.

15
00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:38,957
Lighten up, Red.

16
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,789
America is going online.
Let's do our part.

17
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:45,915
Now we can read about
current events, sports, politics.

18
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,594
I do that already.

19
00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,672
It's called a newspaper.

20
00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:52,715
And you know what I love about this?

21
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:56,309
No wires connected to the government.

22
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,644
Is this thing connected to the government?

23
00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:02,598
Yes, the president can see you right now.

24
00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:04,187
I know you're kidding.

25
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,026
But just in case you're not…

26
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:11,448
Hi, Bill. Loved you on <i>Arsenio.</i>

27
00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,949
Nate, why would you want a used hot tub?

28
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:19,495
It's gonna be contaminated
with other people's juices.

29
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:21,209
Yeah.

30
00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:23,249
Until we contaminate it with <i>our </i>juices.

31
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,127
That's so romantic.

32
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:29,167
It's free, Nik.
The only other free thing is a goat.

33
00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:31,552
I love you, but I am not sharing a goat.

34
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:33,723
What happens if we break up?
Who gets the goat?

35
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:38,101
As someone whose parents split up,
you don't wanna force the goat to choose.

36
00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:40,431
Nate, go get your disgusting
used hot tub tomorrow.

37
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:43,017
We have an appointment
to get our pictures done at Glamour Shots.

38
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:43,983
Oh, it's cool.

39
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,652
We can rebook Glamour Shots
for when my mustache comes in.

40
00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:49,191
Oh! So in, like, 1990-never.

41
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:53,151
Shut up, Gwen!
When I drink milk, you can almost see it.

42
00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:57,489
Look, Nik. This hot tub is
first come, first served.

43
00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,785
It can't wait.
That's how I lost that giant dog crate.

44
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,869
-You don't have a dog!
-But I might get a goat.

45
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,155
-I'm done.

46
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:07,171
You never want
to talk about our relationship.

47
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:10,763
Relationships, right?

48
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:11,669
Who needs 'em?

49
00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:14,303
So you're okay with us just being friends?

50
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,764
Pfft. Oh yeah, it's great. I love it.

51
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:18,886
It's so good.

52
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:22,099
It's so good and fun.

53
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:28,190
Your move worked.
You short-circuited his boy brain.

54
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,275
It's like he's glitching in a video game.

55
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:38,871
Okay, Nik, I'm not sitting here anymore,
listening to you not talk to me.

56
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:41,697
Jay, wanna help me pick up this hot tub?

57
00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:43,366
Sure. What?

58
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:45,867
Sure. What?

59
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,960
-Bro!
-Yeah, I'm coming.

60
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,800
Taking a break
from old-people computer day?

61
00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:01,391
I tried to explain the virtual desktop
to your grandma.

62
00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,062
Then I had to explain the word "virtual."

63
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:06,725
Then somehow I had to explain a desk.

64
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:09,225
You really don't have to do this for her.

65
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,864
It's not for her. It's for me.

66
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:14,650
She's part of a bigger plan.
I want to come out to your grandmother.

67
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,027
Wow. Okay.

68
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:21,450
I… You seem so confident and self-assured.
I thought everyone knew.

69
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,494
I'm a gay kid
living in small-town Wisconsin.

70
00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:26,788
There are still parking spots
for horses at the courthouse.

71
00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:30,841
The fact that I'm out to anyone is huge.

72
00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:34,089
I can relate. In seventh grade,
it took me a really long time

73
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,932
to tell my parents
I wanted to switch from clarinet to oboe.

74
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:40,886
But I got there.

75
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:42,930
And you will too.

76
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,057
Sure.

77
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,596
That's the same.

78
00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:50,232
-<i>One, two, three, four!</i>

79
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,906
<i>Hello, Wisconsin!</i>

80
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,544
So why do you want to come out
to my grandmother?

81
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:09,251
She's step seven
in my 16-step coming out plan.

82
00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,084
I didn't know there were steps.

83
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,707
They're updated every year
at our conference in Palm Springs.

84
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:15,918
I'm kidding.

85
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,510
I knew that. I know things.

86
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:20,432
I have a gay friend.

87
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:22,724
Is it me?

88
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,058
Yes.

89
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:29,729
As I was saying,
I'm working my way towards the final step,

90
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,348
telling my parents.

91
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,022
I've just completed step six,

92
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,357
coming out to strangers
who I'll never see again.

93
00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:39,401
I'm sorry.
I think you have the wrong number.

94
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,407
Also… I'm gay.

95
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,025
Keep the change. I'm gay.

96
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:52,922
I'm gaaaaay!

97
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:56,879
I told him again when I bounced back up.

98
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,968
Next is step seven, coming out
to an adult who I see all the time.

99
00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:03,761
AKA, your grandmother.

100
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,349
That's perfect. She loves you.

101
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,135
All women love me.

102
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:11,021
What a waste.

103
00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:14,647
But can you feel her out for me?

104
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,151
I just want to make sure
she's the right person for me to tell.

105
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,783
She'll be great.
No one's sweeter than my grandma.

106
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:23,031
My nana seems sweet
until you try to breastfeed in public.

107
00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:27,115
Then she'll spray perfume in your face
and call you a whore.

108
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,788
There it is!

109
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:39,549
This is even better than that time
we found that nude beach.

110
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:43,215
Until we saw
my baseball coach doing lunges.

111
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,886
That's what my life feels like right now.

112
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,930
A sandy, saggy sack.

113
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:51,426
Bro…

114
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:55,194
It is really bumming me out
seeing you this down about Leia.

115
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,570
You know what
always makes you feel better?

116
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,776
Vagina hands. Get in here.

117
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:07,529
-It's so accurate.
-That's what it makes it fun!

118
00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:10,873
Well, now that it's gone, the pain's back.

119
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:13,788
Hello, boys.

120
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,170
Hello, ma'am. We called about the hot tub.

121
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:17,340
Oh yes.

122
00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:18,958
I'll be glad to see it go.

123
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,545
It used to be my husband's,

124
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:23,510
but since he passed away,
I don't use it very much.

125
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:25,591
Oh. I'm so sorry. How did he die?

126
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:26,636
He drowned.

127
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:31,175
-Still want the hot tub?
-Jay.

128
00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:32,885
Oh, he drowned in a lake.

129
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:33,805
Yes!

130
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,397
I mean, I am so sorry for your loss.

131
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:39,479
I just… really did not want
a haunted hot tub.

132
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:41,114
We'll take it.

133
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,692
Now, hold on.
Don't you want to try it out first?

134
00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:50,494
Is it hot enough for you, boys?

135
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:51,736
Yes, ma'am.

136
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,155
Whose foot is that?

137
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,536
Oh, I love this game.

138
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,430
Kitty, come in here.

139
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:15,387
What do you need?

140
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:17,516
It woke up.

141
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,732
Well, that is so cute.

142
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:24,145
I put it to sleep about an hour ago.
It must be hungry.

143
00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:26,896
Oh.

144
00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:29,202
Now it's dead.

145
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:31,828
That's okay.

146
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,949
Took him a while to warm up to Eric too.

147
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,669
Hey, Grandma, can I run something by you?

148
00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:41,339
It's kind of sensitive and personal.

149
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,549
Is it teenager stuff?

150
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,458
I've missed this.

151
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:46,923
Yeah, it's about my friend.

152
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:49,088
Got it. Your friend. Right.

153
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,967
I've had a lot of these "friend" talks
with Eric.

154
00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:55,637
His "friend" wet the bed.

155
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,805
His "friend" had a crush on a teacher.

156
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:02,395
His "friend" got a rubber band
stuck on his privates.

157
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,901
Anyway, um…

158
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:12,702
It's about something that might be
outside of your comfort zone.

159
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:15,543
Is it drugs?
Because you should tell your friend,

160
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,870
it starts with a beer,
and before you know it,

161
00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:20,415
you're sleeping in the park
hooked on the crank.

162
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:22,877
It's not drugs.

163
00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:27,296
I can't really say,
but it's… it's a big deal.

164
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:32,891
And it's scary because,
once you do it, there's no going back.

165
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:35,394
Got it. Okay.

166
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:39,894
Well, you tell your friend
that I am ready to talk whenever they are.

167
00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,648
Thanks, Grandma. You're the coolest.

168
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:46,650
That's me. Cool as a cucumber.

169
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:51,487
Donna, it's Kitty!
Your daughter is about to have sex!

170
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:02,375
This is weird.
You and I never hang out by ourselves.

171
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:03,538
Why is that?

172
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:04,956
It's nothing bad.

173
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:07,051
I just prefer other people.

174
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:08,967
Me too.

175
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,838
But your brother
ditched me for that hot tub.

176
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,966
Just be happy he's gonna take a bath.

177
00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:17,523
I'm so bored.

178
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:20,024
Should we do something?

179
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:21,438
Together?

180
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:24,399
-I'm not <i>that</i> desperate.
-Yeah, no, me neither.

181
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:25,860
We have nothing in common.

182
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,987
Okay, we have
one thing in common.

183
00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:32,028
Totally!

184
00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:34,872
Wait, where's my bracelet?

185
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,490
I don't know. I haven't seen it.

186
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:41,963
You're fun!

187
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:44,633
<i>You're </i>fun!

188
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,381
Should we be Funyuns?

189
00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:50,259
Funyuns!

190
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,427
Just click right there,
and you'll be online.

191
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,969
I have butterflies in my stomach

192
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:02,346
just like when I crack open
a new roll of Saran Wrap.

193
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:06,105
If you start that off wrong,
the next six months are ruined.

194
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,193
Please, just click it.

195
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:21,453
Oh, okay, the internet is just
two demons yelling at each other.

196
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,865
-That's actually pretty accurate.
-Yeah.

197
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:29,375
So, before we continue, there is something
I wanted to talk to you about.

198
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:30,919
It's, uh…

199
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,086
Are you okay?

200
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,143
You seem nervous?
Did you clog up the toilet?

201
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:38,758
It's not your fault. We have old pipes.

202
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:43,388
It's actually about me,
and how I'm different from--

203
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:44,886
Where is she?

204
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:47,437
Leia, it's Mom! Get down here!

205
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:49,569
Leia!

206
00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:53,606
How was your drive?

207
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:57,741
There was a big traffic jam, so I did
about seven miles on the shoulder.

208
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,664
Mom, what are you doing here?

209
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,162
Is this the boy?

210
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:03,163
Is this your sex boy?

211
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:06,671
What?

212
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,879
I told your mom
about your friend and her urges.

213
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:14,012
I got you condoms, jellies, sponges,

214
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,680
and the ugliest underwear I could find.

215
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:21,677
-Valium?
-Those are for me.

216
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,230
-Mom, I'm not having sex.

217
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:30,194
Okay, so then what is this secret
you were telling Grandma about?

218
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:35,356
Actually, this <i>is</i> about me
wanting to have sex.

219
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,031
With a guy.

220
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,203
In bed.

221
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,530
And, um… other places
where people do that to each other.

222
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,156
You got here just in time.
Her hormones are exploding.

223
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,995
Constantly drawing penises.

224
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:52,881
She's obsessed!

225
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:55,970
Shh!

226
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,719
The president can hear you.

227
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:04,267
Okay, look.

228
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:07,598
I am proud of you for opening up to us
before you did anything.

229
00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:10,902
-Maybe it's time we have the sex talk.
-We had that talk.

230
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:13,150
That one was all nay-nays,
nah-nahs, and hoo-hoos.

231
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,862
This time, we're using the real words.

232
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:20,819
Hey, Funyun.

233
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,366
-Yeah, Funyun?
-What do you want to do now?

234
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:27,202
Well, there's something
I normally do with Nate,

235
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:30,168
but I think it'd be
so much more fun with you.

236
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,574
Okay, say it back to me, Leia.

237
00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,740
I can't with the real words.

238
00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,989
Okay, whatever you're comfortable with.

239
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:05,372
Once a nay-nay's been in a nah-nah,
it can't go in a hoo-hoo.

240
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:08,827
Wait, which one was the nay-nay again?
You know what?

241
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:11,713
Don't put anything
into anything after it's been in anything.

242
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,792
Mom, we really didn't need to go this far.

243
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:18,047
There's a boy I like, and, yeah,
I've had some thoughts about him.

244
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:20,630
Like, he's got this one T-shirt
that rides up a little…

245
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,643
I'm jealous, Mom.
I want to be the T-shirt.

246
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,604
Oh, it's happening!

247
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,390
It's not happening.
I haven't even kissed him yet.

248
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:32,688
Okay, well, have you told him
how you feel?

249
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:33,600
Sort of.

250
00:13:34,271 --> 00:13:37,401
It's kind of a big mess.
I'm so bad at this.

251
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,153
It runs in the family.

252
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:42,275
-You too?
-Me? No. Your dad.

253
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:48,405
But no matter how many times
he messed it all up,

254
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:52,330
I always found my way back to him…
because he has a good heart.

255
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:55,504
Just like you.

256
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,917
Wait, so Dad wasn't as smooth
as he says he was.

257
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,299
Let's just say, you're lucky you exist.

258
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,562
I just feel so lost, Marion.

259
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:13,439
I don't know who I am anymore.

260
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,689
I went through the same thing
when I lost Ralph.

261
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:18,572
My whole world turned upside down.

262
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,111
I'm so there, Mar.

263
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:24,321
But you can adapt. You move on.

264
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:26,565
Life has more surprises waiting for you.

265
00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:28,741
That's deep.

266
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:33,042
That's basically what I said
but without the dead husband stuff.

267
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,162
Grandma! No!

268
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,578
I told you to stop tricking guys
into your hot tub.

269
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:40,964
Wha… She didn't do that. We're just
trying it out before we take it.

270
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,586
Bro, I think that's the trick.

271
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:49,139
I've got a free king-size bed upstairs
if you'd like to try that out.

272
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,272
-It's free?
-Bro!

273
00:14:57,062 --> 00:15:00,072
-Sorry she wasted your time.
-No, it wasn't a waste.

274
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:02,939
I was getting down on myself,
and she gave me really good advice.

275
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:05,197
Yeah, she always helps out the cute ones.

276
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:08,237
I am reporting you to the <i>Pennysaver.</i>

277
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,914
Ooh!

278
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:18,083
Sorry your big moment
was hijacked by my very chill family.

279
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,286
It's fine.

280
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:22,877
On the way home, I told a crossing guard,
just to stay sharp.

281
00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:26,881
Okay. Brace yourself for some sap.

282
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:30,008
Thank you for covering for me yesterday.

283
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,465
You didn't have to do it,
but it really meant a lot.

284
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:34,524
Of course, Ozzie.

285
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:37,557
You kind of threw me under the bus
with the penis stuff,

286
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,475
but I'll chalk that up to nerves.

287
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:43,281
I panicked, and that's
what I was thinking about, so I said it.

288
00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:46,818
All right, Le-Le, I'm out of here.

289
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,914
It's gonna take me twice as long
if I can only use the real lanes.

290
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:52,240
-Okay, Mom. Love you.
-Love you.

291
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,751
-Nice to meet you, Ozzie.
-You too.

292
00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:57,749
I can see where Leia gets her good looks.

293
00:15:57,831 --> 00:15:59,831
Oh! You're a little charmer.

294
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,213
You sure you aren't gonna have sex?

295
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,054
-Positive.
-A million percent.

296
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:09,054
Just hit enter
and you'll be signed in to your email.

297
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,723
-<i>You've got mail.</i>
-Oh my God, I've got mail.

298
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,716
Oh! This is thrilling.

299
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,348
I mean, I've had kids,
but this is right up there.

300
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:20,814
Actually, that's from me.

301
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:24,533
There's something I've been trying
to tell you, so go ahead and open it.

302
00:16:24,608 --> 00:16:25,688
Oh?

303
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:26,986
Okay.

304
00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:30,321
Double-click on the little mailbox.

305
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,374
Oh dear.

306
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:35,290
Where did it go?

307
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:36,995
It's right there.

308
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,077
Oh.

309
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,334
-Click-click!

310
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,496
No. The little box in the corner.

311
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:44,835
-The whole thing is gone.
-It's behind there.

312
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,340
-Behind where?
-That window.

313
00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:52,845
Restarting. So…

314
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,474
We have about five minutes.

315
00:16:58,892 --> 00:16:59,892
Forget it.

316
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,230
Mrs. Forman.

317
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:03,935
I'm gay.

318
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,992
I've known for a while now,
and I wanted you to know.

319
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:10,738
I even have a boyfriend,
Etienne, who lives in Canada.

320
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,236
Well, I don't know how I feel about this.

321
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:15,832
Oh.

322
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:19,370
My friend Sharon married a Canadian man,

323
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:22,035
and he made off with her Toyota wagon.

324
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:26,094
And her cat's ashes were in there,
and she is a mess.

325
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,633
But… you're okay with me being gay?

326
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,086
Well, of course I am.

327
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:36,430
Oh, sweet boy, get in here.

328
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:42,234
You just made me feel really special.

329
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,700
Is that why you helped me
with the computer?

330
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,527
No, I did it because I loved it.

331
00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:09,762
So… yesterday, huh?

332
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:11,881
Very unexpected.

333
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,005
Did we…?

334
00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:16,006
Have fun? Yeah.

335
00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:17,553
We did.

336
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,010
Twice.

337
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:22,600
-Let's never talk about this again.
-Secret dies with me.

338
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:25,728
Sit here, Nik.

339
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:28,023
I'm gonna take this lettuce
out to my goat.

340
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:29,822
You did not.

341
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,860
It was free, Nik!

342
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,820
You're a goat's mommy now.

343
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:36,817
Okay, that's cute.

344
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:41,446
So, step seven is in the books.
What's next?

345
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:42,747
-I steal a car.
-Really?

346
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,540
No, I tell my pediatrician.

347
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,997
Oh God. Jay just walked in.

348
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:50,796
He's wearing that tiny T-shirt.

349
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,551
Oh my God. He's even hotter
when he's tired.

350
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,758
How long do I keep
this friend thing going?

351
00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,345
I don't know. It was your crazy-ass idea.

352
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,179
Just go talk to him.

353
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,427
What am I supposed to do?

354
00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:07,598
Profess my love to him in front of
the ketchup pump? That's so scary.

355
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:10,608
I just came out to your grandma.
You can tell a guy who knows you like him

356
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:11,531
that you like him.

357
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:17,198
-Is that Nikki's scrunchie?
-What?!

358
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:18,868
No.

359
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:20,485
Hey.

360
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,123
Hey.

361
00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:25,662
Um, so you know how the other night
I said I just wanted to be friends?

362
00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:28,127
Yeah. That was a surprise,
and not the fun kind.

363
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,960
Well, then you're gonna like
what I'm about to say.

364
00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:33,795
Sorry. It took me forever to park.

365
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,091
Your friend is chasing a goat
around the parking lot

366
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,375
while some girl yells at him.

367
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:40,966
At least we'll have a story
for our first date.

368
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,017
Oh, Serena, this is my friend Leia.

369
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,190
Howdy, friend!

370
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:52,109
I was, uh, just getting some ketchup
from the big ol' pump.

371
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:58,362
Red?

372
00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:02,371
What are you doing?

373
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:04,537
Uh…

374
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,160
Nothing. Go back to bed.

375
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,252
Red Forman, move your hands.

376
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:17,012
Is that Raquel Welch?

377
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,719
It is!

378
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:26,807
Red Forman.

379
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:32,022
I am so happy
you're using the new computer!

380
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,605
Now, find me one of Kirk Douglas.

381
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:40,114
-In his gladiator outfit.
-Oh… Okay…

382
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:42,623
Have at it.

383
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:47,865
Restarting.