1
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:09,716
‎（威斯康辛州點域鎮）

2
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:11,141
‎（1995年7月3日）

3
00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:12,719
‎（上午11點47分）

4
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,104
‎（地點）

5
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:15,890
‎（琪蒂佛曼的廚房）

6
00:00:32,657 --> 00:00:36,117
‎“觀”樂在我心…

7
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:37,292
‎妳聞起來好香

8
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,000
‎那是美乃滋的味道

9
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,290
‎是車門聲嗎？

10
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,917
‎真的是，我來開門

11
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:49,593
‎我來開…

12
00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,724
‎媽，我根本還沒敲門

13
00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:55,507
‎媽

14
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,267
‎媽，別蹭我的胸部

15
00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,313
‎爸

16
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,522
‎-兒子
‎-抱一下？

17
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,107
‎-算了
‎-不必了

18
00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:06,269
‎爺爺、奶奶好

19
00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:09,647
‎莉亞，乖孫

20
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:13,276
‎小朋友，長這麼高了

21
00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:16,834
‎恭喜，車頭燈越來越大

22
00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:19,290
‎妳的…也不賴？

23
00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:23,208
‎天哪，妳打籃球一定很可怕

24
00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:27,671
‎聽說妳得到了妳媽的跳投天分
‎和妳爸的…姓氏

25
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:32,126
‎-我要躲去洗手間
‎-嘿

26
00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:36,467
‎小心水龍頭，水燙得要死

27
00:01:36,554 --> 00:01:39,724
‎艾瑞克，那是常溫

28
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,890
‎問題在你敏感的嬰兒肌

29
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,442
‎說真的

30
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:49,072
‎我很期待這次的國慶日週末

31
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:52,570
‎我們會烤熱狗和看煙火…

32
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,414
‎我甚至租了《小美人魚》

33
00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:57,199
‎謝謝媽，但她不愛看了

34
00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:59,663
‎我們的小美人魚…有月經了

35
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:01,365
‎艾瑞克，天哪

36
00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:04,874
‎老公別擔心，我拿得動

37
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:16,092
‎90 年代秀

38
00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:18,387
‎威斯康辛，你們好！

39
00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:21,893
‎有人要吃肉桂餅嗎？

40
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:25,345
‎我要，別聞我頭髮，媽，很怪

41
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:30,016
‎上次見到你是聖誕節，我要聞個夠

42
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,858
‎不准抱怨

43
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:36,493
‎唐娜
‎艾瑞克把妳新書的書評寄來了

44
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,493
‎我們看完了

45
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:38,834
‎你們看完我的書？

46
00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:40,618
‎不是，是書評

47
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,160
‎謝謝妳，佛太太

48
00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:47,375
‎-真希望妳叫我：“媽”
‎-我知道

49
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:49,498
‎好

50
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:50,496
‎改天吧

51
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,957
‎要在這週末

52
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,466
‎艾瑞克，大學的工作還好嗎？

53
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,840
‎很順利，我現在是兼職教授

54
00:02:57,927 --> 00:03:00,007
‎所以我拿到永久停車位

55
00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:01,256
‎停單車用的

56
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,772
‎這是熱門課程才有的待遇

57
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,731
‎“《星際大戰》宗教論”是吧？

58
00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:08,191
‎沒錯

59
00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,521
‎這個國家下次打仗輸定了

60
00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:13,897
‎要是正邪星系開戰就不會

61
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,158
‎我要去打籃球

62
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,658
‎快把暑假計畫告訴爺爺奶奶

63
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:20,581
‎我們要去…

64
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:23,658
‎我們要去阿拉巴馬的亨茨維爾
‎參加父女太空營

65
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,621
‎只有我們兩個…要待兩週

66
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,958
‎休士頓，請求開心玩，結束

67
00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,303
‎休士頓，是否收到，結束？

68
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,180
‎-准許請求
‎-這就對了

69
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:39,642
‎但妳…妳沒說“結束”

70
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,009
‎-媽
‎-莉亞，去打籃球吧

71
00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:44,016
‎不能讓妳爸更宅的那一面曝光

72
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,678
‎太空營

73
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,559
‎你可以穿上巴克羅傑斯的衣服？

74
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:54,027
‎不行，要買駕駛艙體驗票才行

75
00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:55,645
‎但我買了

76
00:03:57,528 --> 00:03:59,698
‎莉亞好像不想去

77
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:03,201
‎她這個年紀好像需要一點空間

78
00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:05,794
‎所以我給她空…太空營

79
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:10,669
‎-太空營
‎-艾瑞克和莉亞處不來

80
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,920
‎這個年紀很難搞…38歲

81
00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:14,212
‎好

82
00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:19,215
‎我只知道無論如何
‎我一定會愛她，在她身後

83
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,010
‎這個想法很棒

84
00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:25,349
‎因為在小孩身後，才方便…

85
00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,021
‎踹他們的屁股

86
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,390
‎我們懂，謝謝爸

87
00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:00,969
‎妳好

88
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,393
‎妳在幹嘛，偷窺狂？

89
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:06,309
‎我沒幹怪事，只是在站妳窗外

90
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:10,349
‎看妳唱歌，想像如果我是妳
‎會是什麼感覺

91
00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:13,016
‎我現在就走

92
00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,441
‎除非妳想聽我在芝加哥
‎盜錄的超酷音樂帶

93
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:17,784
‎說說看

94
00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:19,489
‎超好聽的

95
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:21,570
‎很棒的盜錄帶

96
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,118
‎好聽“盜”不行

97
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:25,914
‎快去拿啦

98
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:26,872
‎馬上去

99
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,620
‎拜託別走

100
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:36,752
‎這是妳媽媽以前的房間
‎而且妳爸住隔壁？

101
00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:39,628
‎他們一定常在這裡炒飯

102
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:41,883
‎難怪

103
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:43,755
‎有時候

104
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:44,973
‎在深夜

105
00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:47,216
‎萬籟俱寂的時候

106
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:49,387
‎我還是會聽到…

107
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:55,687
‎抱歉，我喜歡讓人覺得不自在

108
00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:57,767
‎妳的確很厲害

109
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:02,284
‎來聊聊芝加哥，妳有什麼嗜好？

110
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,242
‎我？很多

111
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:06,570
‎上學

112
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:08,787
‎主要是上學

113
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:13,711
‎我也是辯論社的大咖，這點無庸置辯

114
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,002
‎對，我不是風雲人物

115
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,500
‎很好

116
00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:19,706
‎風雲人物很糟糕

117
00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:21,668
‎說得沒錯

118
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:23,046
‎這一段超好聽

119
00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:28,805
‎可惡，葛雯！

120
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,348
‎吵死了，快關掉，我在刮毛

121
00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:35,483
‎我同母異父的哥哥，人不錯

122
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:37,981
‎主要是因為他有廂型車，整他很好玩

123
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,074
‎妳看喔

124
00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:43,029
‎說真的，葛雯，我差點割到奶頭

125
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:46,071
‎所以我討厭聽瘋婆子的音樂

126
00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:47,784
‎是嗎，內特？

127
00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:50,865
‎我和朋友想組個樂團，叫“瘋婆子”

128
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,792
‎我也要組個樂團，叫“蠢斃了”

129
00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:56,329
‎不錯喔

130
00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:01,252
‎可惡，葛雯！

131
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,339
‎家裡又熱鬧起來，真開心

132
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,505
‎真是…讓我心花怒放

133
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,224
‎你離開後，我又難過起來

134
00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:13,062
‎之後就是冬天

135
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,062
‎我會去掃我媽的墓

136
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:20,311
‎告訴她家裡變熱鬧有多歡樂

137
00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:26,198
‎-可以給我糖漿了嗎？
‎-當然可以

138
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:28,196
‎早安，再見

139
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,531
‎等等，妳鼻子戴了甚麼？

140
00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:31,486
‎鼻環？

141
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:33,910
‎嬰兒肌，換你囉

142
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:38,002
‎-妳怎麼有鼻環？
‎-葛雯給的

143
00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:40,712
‎原來是葛雯，我不知道是她給的

144
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,003
‎出門前先回答我

145
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:44,586
‎葛雯是誰？幹嘛在妳臉上穿洞？

146
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:49,014
‎她住隔壁，我正要過去

147
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:51,433
‎-她爸媽在家嗎？
‎-不在，但她哥哥在

148
00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:54,352
‎乖孫女，妳在自掘墳墓

149
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,057
‎爸，我離家裡大概6公尺而已

150
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:01,398
‎好，但妳要趕回來看煙火

151
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,441
‎-可以嗎？
‎-我盡量

152
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:04,611
‎就像尤達大師說的…

153
00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:05,822
‎幹嘛啦？

154
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:10,872
‎就像尤達大師說的
‎“答應就要做到，不能‘盡量’”

155
00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:15,288
‎尤達大師是虛假世界裡的布偶
‎還有人用手插他屁股

156
00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,584
‎這句話太傷人

157
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,709
‎青少年嘛

158
00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:22,251
‎兒子，我很同情你

159
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:24,803
‎但話說回來

160
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:27,843
‎這就叫現世報

161
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,470
‎我剩一張

162
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:40,307
‎一次好像只能出一張

163
00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:41,404
‎再說一次？

164
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:44,860
‎好酷的地下室

165
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:45,781
‎根本是垃圾場

166
00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:48,194
‎我沒惡意

167
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,160
‎我在留校察看時認識歐基

168
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,319
‎快説說你幹的好事

169
00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:55,076
‎我對數學老師說他老婆劈腿

170
00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:57,079
‎她在煎餅店和男人親嘴

171
00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:59,121
‎-好糟糕
‎-沒錯

172
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,915
‎煎餅店耶，沒格調

173
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:06,047
‎有件事讚到爆，絕對出乎你們意料

174
00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:08,758
‎烤汁豬排堡重新上市時，你也這麼說

175
00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:10,469
‎小妮，我以為再也吃不到了

176
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,470
‎你很害怕？

177
00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:14,795
‎可憐的寶貝

178
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,234
‎嘿，新來的妹妹

179
00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:24,484
‎嘿，小男生

180
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:27,729
‎或是男人？

181
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:32,699
‎我不知道你毛長得怎樣，也許很不錯

182
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,487
‎莉亞，他是傑伊

183
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:38,794
‎請把你的拉鍊和鈕扣復原扣好

184
00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:42,579
‎葛雯，別這樣，我只是想認識一下

185
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:44,673
‎對了

186
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:46,998
‎你有信教嗎？

187
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:49,167
‎我有

188
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,053
‎妳的表情有異

189
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,143
‎但我喜歡

190
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,008
‎我可以宣布喜事了嗎？

191
00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:59,848
‎我們在廂型車裡閒混

192
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:03,269
‎-為什麼都是他坐前座？
‎-我先說先贏

193
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:05,902
‎-但我是你女友
‎-對，但他是我好友

194
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:09,318
‎-兄弟
‎-兄弟

195
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:11,189
‎兄弟

196
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:13,952
‎兄弟

197
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:18,278
‎好過分，我為了你拒絕高三生

198
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,495
‎寶貝對不起，你們兩個都很重要

199
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,749
‎但過去12年，傑伊在背後支持我

200
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:27,291
‎妳過去6個月讓我從後面來
‎我下不了決定

201
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:30,456
‎你們是來拿阿姨平價酒行的
‎桶裝啤酒嗎？

202
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,090
‎-沒錯
‎-對啊

203
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,425
‎錢也先付了，對吧？

204
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:38,216
‎-沒錯
‎-對啊

205
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,434
‎太好了

206
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:45,730
‎國慶日快樂

207
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,153
‎-兄弟！
‎-兄弟！

208
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:54,990
‎-兄弟
‎-兄弟

209
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,701
‎他們一路過來都是這樣

210
00:10:57,865 --> 00:11:00,865
‎別這樣，這是國慶日奇蹟

211
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:02,199
‎是奇蹟啤酒

212
00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:05,956
‎那還廢話什麼？裝上酒栓大喝一頓

213
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,670
‎-沒錯
‎-糟糕

214
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,211
‎我們沒有酒栓

215
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:13,671
‎沒有酒栓，啤酒就被…栓住了

216
00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:18,385
‎-親一下會讓你開心一點？
‎-除非妳嘴裡都是啤酒

217
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,971
‎-妳有嗎？
‎-沒有

218
00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:29,055
‎感覺好奇怪

219
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,686
‎非常特別

220
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,034
‎我倒是很開心

221
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:38,779
‎煙怎麼這麼濃？

222
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,329
‎天哪，是爆米花

223
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,002
‎孩子們，開心嗎？

224
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,035
‎你們升級到樓上了

225
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,917
‎我早知道有這一天

226
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:52,629
‎只是沒料到這麼快

227
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,054
‎艾瑞克，別擔心，莉亞不會有事

228
00:11:57,758 --> 00:11:59,338
‎妳能預測未來了？

229
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,927
‎我買容易滑倒的棕鞋時，妳在哪裡？

230
00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:05,102
‎-害我在機場的斜坡走不上去
‎-好，艾瑞克

231
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,404
‎不准再喝水果酒

232
00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:12,904
‎說得對，我醉了

233
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:15,608
‎大部分都救回來了

234
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:16,863
‎謝了，媽

235
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:18,650
‎“媽”

236
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,155
‎很簡單吧，唐娜？

237
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,742
‎妳叫一聲不就得了？

238
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,828
‎不要，不想被逼

239
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,081
‎媽，拜託算了吧

240
00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:33,538
‎不行，不想被逼

241
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:42,343
‎小孩對戰啤酒

242
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,715
‎亙古以來的對決

243
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:48,806
‎我們的爸媽和他們的爸媽都發生過

244
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,273
‎五月花號上的孩子也是

245
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:54,360
‎歐基，別煩我，我拼命在想辦法

246
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,480
‎我知道，我聞到了

247
00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:01,528
‎等等，不能回阿姨酒行買酒栓嗎？

248
00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:04,664
‎大家都試過，但她很難對付

249
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,702
‎我甚至還對她調情，說

250
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,000
‎“嘿，妹子”

251
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:10,869
‎她毫無反應

252
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:15,134
‎-用雷射光吧？
‎-別做夢了

253
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:18,206
‎那就沒轍，所有辦法都試過了

254
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:20,547
‎你只提了一個辦法，而且很蠢

255
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:21,593
‎妳才蠢

256
00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:24,595
‎你們都很蠢，討厭啤酒和美國

257
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:25,968
‎-寶貝？
‎-怎樣？

258
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,555
‎你感覺很受挫？

259
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,470
‎對

260
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:31,887
‎-所以才突然罵大家？
‎-對啊

261
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:37,529
‎我們明天去林子裡
‎我看你在樹上打空手道好嗎？

262
00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:38,858
‎當然好

263
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:41,988
‎兩位呆瓜，演完沒？

264
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:45,321
‎莉亞，應該讓妳去買酒栓
‎阿姨不認識妳

265
00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:47,197
‎沒錯，妳絕對沒問題

266
00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:50,124
‎而且妳的眼睛又漂亮
‎只是對買酒栓毫無幫助

267
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,794
‎但我注意到這一點

268
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,167
‎嘿，妹子

269
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:58,589
‎莉亞，這樣超猛的

270
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,341
‎我可能幹過一些瘋狂事

271
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:04,553
‎有一次在海灘上
‎海鷗偷走我的三明治

272
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:08,061
‎我小聲罵牠：“賤鳥”

273
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:12,311
‎這樣吧？算我一份

274
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:14,483
‎太棒了，新妹子超猛的

275
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,112
‎-回廂型車上
‎-暫停

276
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:18,768
‎這樣行不通

277
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,438
‎阿姨一定會要求這位小朋友出示證件

278
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:23,857
‎有道理

279
00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:26,072
‎我想到了

280
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:34,542
‎妳這樣的身子，確定要喝酒？

281
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:38,963
‎我買給老公的
‎他為新生兒派對買了啤酒

282
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:41,376
‎真高級

283
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,972
‎-一共39.50元
‎-好

284
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:53,564
‎我不是婦產科醫生
‎但寶寶好像有問題

285
00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:56,192
‎差點騙倒我

286
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:58,480
‎我受夠你們這些小孩，我要報警

287
00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:01,483
‎阿姨，把電話放下

288
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:02,687
‎妳閉嘴

289
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:04,566
‎好，但等警察到了

290
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:08,243
‎妳要怎麼解釋
‎為什麼一群小孩拿到一桶啤酒？

291
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,914
‎不能怪我，要怪魏德

292
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:10,872
‎阿姨

293
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:15,538
‎不管怎樣，妳的販酒執照都會被吊銷

294
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:20,963
‎所以快掛斷電話，把酒栓賣給我
‎讓大家過個快樂的國慶日

295
00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:26,054
‎妳是律師嗎？

296
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:29,303
‎青少年辯論區賽冠軍

297
00:15:29,386 --> 00:15:31,006
‎妳根本沒勝算

298
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:39,305
‎敬阿姨殺手莉亞！

299
00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:40,766
‎敬莉亞！

300
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:42,476
‎還有敬薩波斯基老師

301
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,110
‎她是我的辯論社教練，把我逼得很緊

302
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,485
‎敬薩波斯基老師！

303
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:53,328
‎小妮快看，有流星，快許願

304
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:54,830
‎那是煙火，寶貝

305
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:59,785
‎妳今晚好猛，想不到妳這麼厲害

306
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:04,252
‎我也想不到，但我喜歡這種感覺

307
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:08,968
‎感覺自由又快樂
‎希望我能在這裡過暑假

308
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:11,135
‎那就留下來

309
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,309
‎我爸不會答應

310
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,604
‎我父母離異時

311
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:19,483
‎學校的心理醫師說
‎我的人生沒希望了

312
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:23,359
‎我心想：“不，我不認輸”

313
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,400
‎所以我回家後
‎在洗衣機上把頭髮漂白

314
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:29,065
‎剪開牛仔褲，決定過這種人生

315
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,494
‎絕不會沒希望

316
00:16:32,866 --> 00:16:34,826
‎這句話可能很呆

317
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:38,250
‎但…我蠻想當妳的好朋友

318
00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:39,710
‎那我們該怎麼做呢？

319
00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:41,672
‎留下來過暑假

320
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,710
‎別說愚蠢的免責聲明，不說我也知道

321
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,264
‎這下好了

322
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,970
‎她錯過了煙火和熱狗

323
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:55,311
‎現在它們冰冷地躺在盤子上
‎像我的心一樣縮成一團

324
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:57,926
‎艾瑞克

325
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,267
‎媽，這樣聞頭髮還是很奇怪

326
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:03,271
‎最慘的一點是
‎我應該珍惜和莉亞相處的時間

327
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:06,065
‎但我卻…想快點結束

328
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:09,990
‎寶貝，等你死了才會結束

329
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,782
‎莉亞塔圖因星球佛曼

330
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,330
‎-她的中間名是“安”
‎-我從沒答應過

331
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:22,330
‎妳跑去哪裡了？那是啤酒嗎？

332
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:25,416
‎沒錯，剩下的在下水塔時撒光了

333
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,672
‎水…水塔？搞什麼？

334
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:30,795
‎艾瑞克，我來處理，水塔？搞什麼？

335
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,303
‎這才是我想看的煙火

336
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:37,097
‎對，水塔

337
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:40,021
‎我玩得很開心，不想結束

338
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,307
‎我知道你們聽了會不高興

339
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:44,984
‎但…我想留在點域鎮過暑假

340
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,984
‎這是我的人生，我想過得精采一點

341
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,277
‎-莉亞
‎-妳來吧

342
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,399
‎老婆，火力全開，上

343
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:55,030
‎-這需要勇氣，我很感動
‎-什麼？

344
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,945
‎這個想法太扯了

345
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,374
‎-莉亞
‎-媽，換妳上，教訓她

346
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:02,503
‎我們非常歡迎妳留下來

347
00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:04,251
‎天哪！這是怎麼回事？

348
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,173
‎琪蒂

349
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,295
‎看來我們希望她留下

350
00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:13,131
‎爸，你們常聊到

351
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,217
‎你和朋友玩得很開心

352
00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:17,262
‎我也這麼希望，我要玩得開心

353
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,256
‎聽我說，才第一天

354
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:24,308
‎妳就穿了鼻環、喝了啤酒
‎還變得…極度暴躁

355
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,267
‎妳完全變了一個人

356
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:29,016
‎所以我不答應，妳想都別想

357
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,858
‎我就知道你會這樣

358
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,903
‎我明天不會上車

359
00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:35,606
‎妳要是不上車，我就踹妳的屁股

360
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:41,616
‎-天哪，艾瑞克
‎-你好壞

361
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,213
‎我真以你為傲

362
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:50,172
‎就像看你打出第一支全壘打

363
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:52,586
‎如果你打過全壘打的話

364
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:02,181
‎你還好嗎？

365
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,387
‎真不敢相信

366
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:07,186
‎我研究《星際大戰》一輩子
‎到了關鍵時刻

367
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,521
‎卻變成我的惡爸爸

368
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:13,988
‎我想過了

369
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:17,776
‎有你爸媽看著
‎莉亞待在這裡不是壞事

370
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,695
‎妳1970年代沒和我在這裡一起混嗎？

371
00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:21,413
‎他們靠不住

372
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:23,664
‎她是好孩子

373
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:26,826
‎我知道

374
00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,165
‎可以相信她

375
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:29,080
‎我知道

376
00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:30,633
‎那問題在哪裡？

377
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,298
‎我只是…

378
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:35,169
‎她不再需要我，我受不了這種感覺

379
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:38,511
‎她曾是我的小夥伴，但現在好像…

380
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:40,598
‎陌生人

381
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:43,889
‎她不是陌生人，她只是…長大了

382
00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:46,556
‎我不喜歡

383
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:49,693
‎會嗎？沒人看出來呢

384
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:54,613
‎艾瑞克，你放心

385
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:59,317
‎你爸媽給我們空間找到彼此
‎我們才有這種人生

386
00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:02,408
‎真的嗎？

387
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:05,912
‎你家大概只有6公尺遠
‎我們遲早會相遇

388
00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:20,641
‎嘿

389
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:22,467
‎幹嘛？

390
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:25,887
‎-妳的鼻環呢？
‎-那是磁鐵

391
00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,984
‎打噴嚏時掉進排水口了

392
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:31,980
‎我心都碎了

393
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:36,863
‎我在妳這個年紀時
‎常和朋友窩在這間地下室

394
00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:41,074
‎一起鬼混、聽音樂、辦…其他事

395
00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:46,119
‎坐在那裏的樓梯上，和妳媽墜入情網

396
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,460
‎天哪，你們也有在樓梯上做？

397
00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:50,499
‎沒有啦

398
00:20:53,877 --> 00:20:54,877
‎沒有

399
00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:58,763
‎我想過了…

400
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,303
‎妳該留下來…過暑假

401
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:06,265
‎-你說真的？
‎-真的

402
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:11,404
‎要說誰有資格…開心，一定是妳

403
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:15,769
‎謝謝爸，很抱歉我這麼過分

404
00:21:15,857 --> 00:21:18,147
‎想不到妳真有一套

405
00:21:19,486 --> 00:21:20,736
‎但妳知道，妳…

406
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:23,703
‎什麼都很有一套

407
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:28,623
‎我會想妳的，夥伴

408
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,580
‎我很愛妳，知道嗎？

409
00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:35,998
‎你在聞我的頭髮嗎？

410
00:21:36,086 --> 00:21:37,416
‎才沒有

411
00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:40,625
‎這樣會很怪

412
00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:43,676
‎好

413
00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:54,061
‎要記得，我們的電話號碼沒有變

414
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,770
‎別擔心，我提得動

415
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,230
‎這次也一樣

416
00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:01,399
‎好的，老婆

417
00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:05,065
‎我的乖兒子

418
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:08,040
‎媽

419
00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:11,868
‎我在聽你的心跳

420
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,075
‎聽我說

421
00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:22,625
‎愛妳，莉莉

422
00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:23,626
‎媽，再見

423
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,890
‎別擔心，我們會很開心的

424
00:22:27,971 --> 00:22:29,311
‎有清過烤箱嗎？

425
00:22:30,432 --> 00:22:31,352
‎祝妳好運

426
00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:35,189
‎莉亞，還有一件事，這…很重要

427
00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:38,230
‎和新朋友到爺爺的地下室玩

428
00:22:38,732 --> 00:22:40,192
‎盡量去沒關係

429
00:22:40,275 --> 00:22:42,355
‎不，不可以

430
00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:44,154
‎那是她最安全的地方

431
00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:47,237
‎沒錯，媽，對極了

432
00:22:47,324 --> 00:22:48,954
‎兒子，這招真高明

433
00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,334
‎虎父無犬子

434
00:22:50,410 --> 00:22:51,870
‎大家都討厭馬屁精

435
00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:55,116
‎爸，我也愛你

436
00:22:57,584 --> 00:22:58,424
‎媽，再見

437
00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:03,216
‎她說：“媽”了

438
00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:06,335
‎我贏了

439
00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:09,721
‎這就是對上專業人士的下場

440
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:17,767
‎我要列購物清單

441
00:23:17,854 --> 00:23:19,614
‎孩子們會想吃零食

442
00:23:19,689 --> 00:23:21,439
‎琪蒂，別餵食他們

443
00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:23,815
‎噩夢就是這樣開始的

444
00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:26,573
‎我和朋友要去湖邊

445
00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:27,485
‎等等

446
00:23:28,281 --> 00:23:30,121
‎-你哪位？
‎-我叫傑伊

447
00:23:31,576 --> 00:23:32,946
‎-傑伊克爾索
‎-慘了

448
00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:36,162
‎拜託不要

449
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,378
‎糗大了！

450
00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:45,760
‎見過我兒子了？看看這傢伙

451
00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:48,301
‎他有他老爸的帥氣和老媽的腦袋

452
00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:49,715
‎去年拿到全A

453
00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:51,893
‎老天鵝啊，還進化了

454
00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:55,807
‎孩子們，開心玩

455
00:23:55,892 --> 00:23:59,192
‎如果要跳下懸崖，記得要脫光光

456
00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,731
‎要是入水時的角度喬對

457
00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:03,275
‎感覺就像和湖做愛

458
00:24:07,654 --> 00:24:08,704
‎麥可，你好

459
00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:09,660
‎嘿，妹子

460
00:24:15,912 --> 00:24:19,042
‎感覺真是…結實又溫暖

461
00:24:21,084 --> 00:24:21,924
‎瑞德

462
00:24:22,502 --> 00:24:25,672
‎我們得聊聊你孫女對我兒子的企圖

463
00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:29,804
‎沒啦，開玩笑的，來抱一下

464
00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:31,135
‎你說呢？

465
00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:33,472
‎麥可，快點啦！

466
00:24:35,056 --> 00:24:35,966
‎佛太太，妳好

467
00:24:37,017 --> 00:24:40,017
‎潔姬，讓我開心一下會死嗎？

468
00:24:40,103 --> 00:24:41,023
‎天哪

469
00:24:41,521 --> 00:24:44,111
‎瑞德額頭上的血管快爆掉了

470
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:49,494
‎好噁，我不要結婚套裝沾到老人血

471
00:24:49,571 --> 00:24:50,911
‎你們要結婚了？

472
00:24:50,989 --> 00:24:52,409
‎再婚

473
00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,411
‎-對，這是我們第二次再婚
‎-沒錯

474
00:24:55,202 --> 00:24:57,412
‎-這次能撐下去吧？
‎-可以

475
00:24:59,372 --> 00:25:00,712
‎潔姬

476
00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:01,960
‎親愛的，白色的嗎？

477
00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:04,838
‎妳確定？

478
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,840
‎勞動節又還沒到

479
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:10,469
‎而且如果有人覺得我們第一次結婚
‎會送比較好的禮物

480
00:25:11,301 --> 00:25:15,221
‎對了，我們在貴婦百貨登記了
‎我來挑

481
00:25:15,305 --> 00:25:17,715
‎-走了啦，麥可！
‎-吵死了！

482
00:25:26,691 --> 00:25:28,691
‎隨遇而安吧

483
00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:30,277
‎我要去市場了

484
00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:34,782
‎我要買經典玉米片、白玉米片
‎起司玉米片，有“片”的都要買

485
00:25:34,866 --> 00:25:36,486
‎老娘重出江湖

486
00:25:42,666 --> 00:25:44,246
‎他媽的

487
00:25:47,837 --> 00:25:51,547
‎小朋友，地下室都讓你們用

488
00:25:51,633 --> 00:25:54,343
‎不准關燈，不准脫衣服，不准跳舞

489
00:25:55,595 --> 00:25:58,135
‎不准跳舞
‎你好像《渾身是勁》裡的那個人

490
00:26:00,433 --> 00:26:01,483
‎聽到囉，不准跳舞

491
00:26:02,644 --> 00:26:06,484
‎這間地下室塞得進三間你家的地下室

492
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:09,529
‎小妮，聽起來工程浩大

493
00:26:09,609 --> 00:26:11,319
‎直接用這間吧

494
00:26:13,196 --> 00:26:15,066
‎這些舊家具很棒吧？

495
00:26:15,156 --> 00:26:18,576
‎對，只缺抱枕和針筒

496
00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:22,957
‎佛曼太太，妳家真是溫馨又迷人

497
00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:26,289
‎好期待整個夏天都在這裡辦事

498
00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:29,923
‎你腦子進水嗎？

499
00:26:32,340 --> 00:26:33,590
‎對了…好

500
00:26:33,675 --> 00:26:39,675
‎無聊的話
‎我找到你們老爸以前的舊唱片和遊戲

501
00:26:39,764 --> 00:26:43,024
‎還有他不希望我看見的幾本雜誌

502
00:26:43,101 --> 00:26:44,561
‎但我丟掉了

503
00:26:44,644 --> 00:26:46,234
‎全是紅髮妹

504
00:26:46,313 --> 00:26:47,693
‎顯然他有特定的喜好

505
00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:50,570
‎那你們開心玩吧

506
00:26:54,487 --> 00:26:57,817
‎天哪，這一定是零代任天堂

507
00:27:01,202 --> 00:27:02,452
‎真想不到

508
00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:05,210
‎妳奶奶給了我們好東西

509
00:27:05,790 --> 00:27:07,330
‎-不可能
‎-不騙你們

510
00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:08,627
‎真的

511
00:27:10,253 --> 00:27:11,093
‎是什麼？

512
00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:14,126
‎最棒的暑假

513
00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:16,844
‎算我一份

514
00:27:18,094 --> 00:27:19,604
‎但說真的，是什麼？

515
00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:24,515
‎一，二，三，四

516
00:27:24,601 --> 00:27:28,811
‎暑假就是要開心玩
‎想怎樣就怎樣，對吧？

517
00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:29,977
‎不對

518
00:27:30,065 --> 00:27:32,435
‎-知道我要什麼嗎？
‎-別說是傑伊

519
00:27:32,525 --> 00:27:33,525
‎傑伊

520
00:27:34,778 --> 00:27:37,948
‎-不准你來我家，滾出去
‎-不行！

521
00:27:38,531 --> 00:27:41,581
‎唐娜，我是琪蒂，妳女兒要嚐禁果了

522
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:42,540
‎她人呢？

523
00:27:42,619 --> 00:27:45,079
‎等等，所以爸不是情場老手

524
00:27:45,747 --> 00:27:47,417
‎妳的存在是老天保佑

525
00:27:47,916 --> 00:27:49,786
‎罵我小孩的是哪一個？

526
00:27:49,876 --> 00:27:52,166
‎我不知道哪個是你小孩，但他們活該

527
00:27:52,253 --> 00:27:54,093
‎是葛雯和內特，謝謝你，我罵得好累

528
00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:55,972
‎我懷孕十個月才生下他

529
00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:58,639
‎醫生說這樣沒問題，但我不覺得

530
00:27:58,718 --> 00:28:02,258
‎你好像對我的唇蜜過敏

531
00:28:02,764 --> 00:28:03,684
‎真的嗎？

532
00:28:04,599 --> 00:28:08,099
‎-我要向妳奶奶出櫃
‎-我明天有面試

533
00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:11,436
‎-妳有推薦人嗎？
‎-主管都很喜歡我

534
00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:12,483
‎只是都死了

535
00:28:15,151 --> 00:28:17,241
‎我是同志！

536
00:28:17,737 --> 00:28:18,697
‎（卻斯費茲）

537
00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:19,950
‎我說：“今天愉快”

538
00:29:00,780 --> 00:29:02,280
‎字幕翻譯：易敬能