1
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:07,967
[rock guitar riff playing]
2
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:13,973
Pulled over by the cops 20 minutes after
we gave you the Vista Cruiser?
3
00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:16,809
Who could have pulled off
something like that?
4
00:00:17,393 --> 00:00:22,106
Only a criminal mastermind
without the mind.
5
00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:25,276
A Kelso.
6
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,488
Trouble just follows them, honey.
7
00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:31,074
They're like those frogs
in the rainforest.
8
00:00:31,157 --> 00:00:32,283
Colorful and pretty,
9
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:35,745
but if you lick them,
all your skin falls off and you die.
10
00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:38,664
I'm sorry, but can we just stop
for a second?
11
00:00:38,748 --> 00:00:41,542
Because how cute is this
that we are holding hands? [chuckles]
12
00:00:41,626 --> 00:00:43,419
It finally happened, you guys!
13
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:47,840
Grandpa, I know this looks bad,
but we only got pulled over
14
00:00:47,924 --> 00:00:50,343
because the car had
license plates from 1980.
15
00:00:50,426 --> 00:00:52,095
She's right, Mr. Forman.
16
00:00:52,178 --> 00:00:54,889
Sometimes, if you're searching for blame,
17
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,307
it's best to look inward.
18
00:00:57,016 --> 00:00:59,852
My foot's about to go inward your ass.
19
00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:03,147
You can't set him up like that.
20
00:01:03,648 --> 00:01:06,317
I know we're off to a rough start,
but give me a chance.
21
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,737
Someday, this frog
is gonna turn into a butterfly.
22
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:12,865
I'm getting stupider standing here.
23
00:01:14,367 --> 00:01:17,245
You are banned from this house. Get out.
24
00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:18,579
What? No!
25
00:01:20,540 --> 00:01:22,166
Honey. Honey.
26
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:23,459
Let go of the frog.
27
00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:26,045
-[rock music playing]
-One, two, three, four!
28
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:27,880
♪ Hangin' out down the street ♪
29
00:01:27,964 --> 00:01:29,966
♪ The same old thing we did last week ♪
30
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:32,301
♪ Not a thing to do ♪
31
00:01:32,385 --> 00:01:34,387
♪ But talk to you ♪
32
00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:35,513
♪ We're all all right! ♪
33
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,098
♪ We're all all right! ♪
34
00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:39,725
[young woman] Hello, Wisconsin!
35
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:41,853
The Kool-Aid Man?
36
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,147
That's the tattoo you wanna get?
37
00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:45,898
The key is to not overthink it.
38
00:01:46,482 --> 00:01:47,733
Mission accomplished.
39
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:52,071
Jay, I miss you, and I feel so bad
you can't be here for all the fun.
40
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:53,865
Gwen and Ozzie are talking.
41
00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:55,366
Nikki's chewing gum.
42
00:01:55,867 --> 00:01:57,577
And Nate's adjusting his junk.
43
00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:59,120
You need more powder, babe.
44
00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:02,081
Summer's the worst season for your junk.
45
00:02:02,999 --> 00:02:04,083
Hey. Can I talk to him?
46
00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:07,128
Just come over, bro.
47
00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:09,505
Leia's grandma's at the dentist.
Red's stuck at the DMV.
48
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:11,591
Damn it. I miss you too.
49
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:14,844
-He's coming over.
-He is?
50
00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:16,470
I gotta shave my pits!
51
00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:17,805
[Jay] Uh, what?
52
00:02:17,889 --> 00:02:19,932
[nervous chuckle] That was Nikki. Bye!
53
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:22,768
Gwen. Help me.
54
00:02:24,562 --> 00:02:25,813
Boyfriend, day one.
55
00:02:26,439 --> 00:02:27,940
Oh, I gotta take off too.
56
00:02:28,024 --> 00:02:30,109
I'm meeting my SAT tutor in 20 minutes.
57
00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:31,235
Again with that guy?
58
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:34,906
But you're already so smart.
You helped me escape from that trampoline.
59
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:39,285
Babe, I need to ace the SATs,
get into a good college, cure a disease,
60
00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:42,038
and have my face on a stamp
so my enemies can lick it.
61
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,753
She's spending a lot of time
with that tutor guy.
62
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,213
Is someone feeling jealous?
63
00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:52,006
No, I am.
64
00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:55,927
I mean, she's with this guy all the time.
65
00:02:57,053 --> 00:02:58,971
Do you think I have
anything to worry about?
66
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:03,184
Tough to answer without knowing
who the guy is, but, knowing you,
67
00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:05,186
maybe.
68
00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:07,396
I know, right?
69
00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:09,690
If it's really bothering you,
let's check this guy out.
70
00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:12,276
Nah, I should just trust her.
71
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:16,906
Nate, I watch a lot of talk shows,
and I've learned two things.
72
00:03:17,657 --> 00:03:18,574
People cheat.
73
00:03:19,075 --> 00:03:21,244
And once a ho, always a ho.
74
00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:24,247
[rock music playing]
75
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:28,000
I'm so happy you're here.
76
00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:31,963
It's gonna be okay.
Take three steps forward.
77
00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:33,506
I can't. What if Red comes home?
78
00:03:33,589 --> 00:03:35,424
He is just being smart, Gwen.
79
00:03:35,508 --> 00:03:37,593
Smart and hot and brave.
80
00:03:38,511 --> 00:03:40,846
-I'm not scared of somebody's grandpa.
-[coughs]
81
00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:42,223
-[Jay yells]
-[Sherri shrieks]
82
00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:44,225
Holy hell! I was just
trying to scooch by ya,
83
00:03:44,308 --> 00:03:48,145
not scare the Milk Duds
out of all of us. [exclaims]
84
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,523
Hi, Ms. Runck.
Sorry, but my grandma's not home.
85
00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:53,901
I know. I gotta pick her up at the dentist
soon because she's gonna be zonked.
86
00:03:53,985 --> 00:03:56,779
But I thought I'd pop over first
and do a little grocery shoppin'.
87
00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:59,615
So much easier than going
all the way down to the store, ya know?
88
00:03:59,699 --> 00:04:01,033
Mom!
89
00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:03,744
-Grab me some yogurts.
-Oh.
90
00:04:04,954 --> 00:04:07,123
Oh, you know it's the beginning
of a relationship
91
00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:09,458
when the guy still goes outside
to cut the cheese.
92
00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:12,336
Jay, just come in.
93
00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:15,464
-I missed you so much.
-Missed you too.
94
00:04:15,548 --> 00:04:17,341
What? He just get back
from Iraq or something?
95
00:04:18,134 --> 00:04:21,512
They've been apart for one day.
Her grandpa banned him from the house.
96
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:24,140
Sounds like Red's being
a hard-ass like my dad.
97
00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:25,975
He never believed in me.
98
00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:28,311
Sometimes I wonder
if that might've screwed me up.
99
00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:29,395
No.
100
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,940
Aw, that's nice, hon,
but I really think he did.
101
00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:37,236
The point is, adults should be
more understanding. You know?
102
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:40,531
I mean, just throwing rules out at kids
is not the answer.
103
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,533
So you'll sign off on me getting a tattoo?
104
00:04:43,034 --> 00:04:43,909
Sorry, lady.
105
00:04:43,993 --> 00:04:46,454
I'm fine with you making mistakes,
but not permanent ones.
106
00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:49,874
Tattoos, babies, and DUIs,
the unholy trinity.
107
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,710
Wait, isn't the dentist
like five minutes away?
108
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,837
Jay, why don't we go pick up my grandma?
109
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,381
I know this isn't
the sexiest thing I've ever said,
110
00:04:58,132 --> 00:05:00,009
but I'm pretty sure
your grandpa can kick my ass.
111
00:05:01,427 --> 00:05:03,763
But it would show him
how responsible you are.
112
00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:06,307
Yeah, and while you're at it,
you gotta let Red know
113
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:08,184
that you're tired of him judging ya.
114
00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:12,146
And still, to this day,
making you feel unworthy, disrespected,
115
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:14,065
and like you're not a good mom!
116
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,735
I feel like that wasn't all about us.
117
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:19,945
We have to try something.
118
00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:21,197
Can we borrow your car?
119
00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,824
Don't know if I should get
between you and your grandpa.
120
00:05:23,908 --> 00:05:26,452
-We'll fill it up with gas.
-Here's my keys.
121
00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:29,914
I'll stay here
and finish up my grocery shopping.
122
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:33,125
I know you're worried,
but all we have to do
123
00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:34,919
is pick up my sweet, sedated grandma.
124
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:37,922
♪ Give my regards to Broadway ♪
125
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:41,092
♪ Remember me to Herald Square ♪
126
00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:42,343
Your turn!
127
00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:45,554
♪ Something, something
Something, something, Broadway ♪
128
00:05:45,638 --> 00:05:47,890
♪ Old people seem to like this song! ♪
129
00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:48,808
Big finish!
130
00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:51,143
♪ Give my regards to old Broadway! ♪
131
00:05:51,227 --> 00:05:53,104
Gwen, stop encouraging her!
132
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:54,688
But this is fun.
133
00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:57,191
She's high as a kite that's also on drugs.
134
00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:59,026
[laughs heartily]
135
00:05:59,110 --> 00:06:01,112
Grandma, can you please just chill out?
136
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:03,239
Boo!
137
00:06:03,322 --> 00:06:06,826
-Yeah. Yeah. Boo!
-Boo!
138
00:06:07,493 --> 00:06:11,163
-Wait. We just passed a tattoo shop. Stop!
-Forget it, Gwen.
139
00:06:11,247 --> 00:06:14,959
My only job is to get her home safe.
Okay? I'm not stopping for anything.
140
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,836
-Red light!
-[brakes screech]
141
00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:21,966
[exclaims, snorts]
142
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:24,009
-[Kitty chuckles]
-Come on.
143
00:06:24,093 --> 00:06:24,927
This is my chance.
144
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,430
Your grandma's out of it.
She'll sign the release.
145
00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:31,684
Right, Mrs. Forman?
You want me to get a tattoo, don't you?
146
00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:36,021
Yeah. And then let's steal a boat
and go to Vegas.
147
00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:38,441
No. We're going home,
we're putting Grandma to bed,
148
00:06:38,524 --> 00:06:41,902
and we're showing my grandpa
that Jay is a responsible human being.
149
00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:46,657
[rhythmic mouth noises]
150
00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:53,873
-Guess who?
-Oh my God!
151
00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:55,541
-[laughing]
-[Leia gasps] Oh my God!
152
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,042
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
153
00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:58,878
[laughing]
154
00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:00,629
We'll be quick.
155
00:07:02,131 --> 00:07:03,007
Later, nerds.
156
00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:06,093
[rock music playing]
157
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:09,346
Nik?
158
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,182
[laughing] What?!
159
00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:12,349
You?! Here?!
160
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:13,767
I mean, whoa!
161
00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:16,812
Now? How? What? Weird!
162
00:07:17,313 --> 00:07:18,731
I told you I was gonna be here.
163
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:20,483
Right. Right, with your tutor.
164
00:07:20,566 --> 00:07:24,111
I totally forgot about him. Where is he?
165
00:07:24,195 --> 00:07:27,072
Oh, Trevor? Here he comes.
166
00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:30,493
[seductive funk music playing]
167
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:41,128
[in slow motion] Holy sh-- [bleeped]
168
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,256
[music fades]
169
00:07:44,340 --> 00:07:46,091
Trevor, this is my boyfriend, Nate.
170
00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:47,801
"Boyfriend"?
171
00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:51,639
[snickering] More like "manfriend."
I can't grow any hair on my face,
172
00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:54,391
but from the waist down,
it is wall-to-wall carpeting.
173
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,061
[in deep voice] And I'm Ozzie.
174
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,648
My pediatrician said I'll be 6'2".
175
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:03,817
-Oh. I've heard a lot about you.
-[Nate chuckles]
176
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,528
Nikki tells me
you're on the football team?
177
00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:06,987
Yeah, but we couldn't do it
178
00:08:07,071 --> 00:08:09,532
without guys like you
in the stands cheering us on. So…
179
00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:12,743
Actually, Trevor got
a football scholarship to Notre Dame.
180
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,828
Not that he needs it.
His dad's a congressman.
181
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:16,872
God bless America.
182
00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:19,166
Well, this is fun.
183
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,043
And normal.
184
00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:24,588
Thanks for stopping by, but we really
need to get back to studying.
185
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:28,259
Oh yeah. Super busy day on our end too.
186
00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:32,513
Ozzie's… lizard is sick,
and I have to help with the pills.
187
00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:35,599
They go in the butt.
188
00:08:36,809 --> 00:08:38,310
[chuckles] Okay, cool.
189
00:08:38,394 --> 00:08:40,604
Nice to meet you, Nate.
Nice to meet you, Ozzie.
190
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,147
[in normal voice] I'm 25.
191
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:44,692
[laughs]
192
00:08:47,069 --> 00:08:47,903
You're screwed.
193
00:08:49,989 --> 00:08:50,823
[Leia sighs]
194
00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:52,324
[both] What's taking so long?
195
00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:55,369
Aw, we said that at the same time.
We're adorable.
196
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,663
I can't do adorable right now.
197
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,206
If your grandpa beats us home…
198
00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,417
-He's…
-[both] Gonna kill us.
199
00:09:02,293 --> 00:09:03,627
Okay, that was cute.
200
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:07,423
Finally.
201
00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:09,633
-Let's see it.
-Oh, I bailed on the tattoo.
202
00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:11,885
Some lady cut in front of me,
and it was taking forever.
203
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,013
I got a tattoo!
204
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:17,391
To Vegas!
205
00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:21,103
[rock music playing]
206
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,063
So I was right.
207
00:09:23,147 --> 00:09:25,482
That Trevor dude is
obviously trying to seduce Nikki.
208
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,776
I don't think he needs to try very hard.
209
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:31,447
How am I gonna save my relationship?
210
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:33,324
He's hot. He's smart.
211
00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:35,159
He doesn't owe Nikki 70 bucks.
212
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:38,537
I got it.
213
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,664
I'll go kick his ass. Duh!
214
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:42,541
So you're the "let's bring him out" guy.
215
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:43,459
The what guy?
216
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:45,419
There's one on every talk show.
217
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,380
The host says, "Let's bring him out."
218
00:09:48,464 --> 00:09:49,632
Everyone boos.
219
00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:52,051
Then he says, "You don't know me."
220
00:09:54,178 --> 00:09:56,096
Have you never seen a talk show?
221
00:09:57,181 --> 00:10:01,143
-[theme music plays]
-[audience chanting] Ozzie! Ozzie! Ozzie!
222
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,145
Welcome back!
223
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:06,440
Today, we have Nikki and Trevor.
224
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:07,900
[audience] Aww!
225
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:09,735
They may look like the perfect couple,
226
00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:13,238
but somebody has a problem with that.
227
00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:15,658
Let's bring him out.
228
00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:17,159
[theme music plays]
229
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:18,535
[audience] Boo!
230
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:21,455
Hey, you don't know me! You don't know me!
231
00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,083
Nate.
232
00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:26,835
Why don't you tell us
what's gotten you so upset?
233
00:10:26,919 --> 00:10:30,631
That's my girlfriend,
and now she's hanging out with this chump,
234
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,549
and suddenly I'm not good enough for her.
235
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:33,467
Nikki?
236
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:37,971
Nate's fine, but… Trevor stimulates
my mind and my body.
237
00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:39,473
-[audience exclaims]
-Both?!
238
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:40,641
That's impossible!
239
00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:42,309
Not for me.
240
00:10:42,393 --> 00:10:43,811
[audience exclaiming]
241
00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:45,938
Nate, stop.
242
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:49,233
I'm done playing around.
Nik, you need to make a choice.
243
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,568
Is it him? Or is it me?
244
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:52,736
Oh, then him.
245
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,488
This guy?!
246
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:55,739
You don't know him.
247
00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:57,866
You don't know him.
248
00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:01,578
[audience exclaims]
249
00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:03,163
Shut up! You don't know me!
250
00:11:03,247 --> 00:11:05,499
-[audience booing]
-You don't know me!
251
00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:08,752
Nobody knows you.
252
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:11,547
Stop saying that.
253
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:14,883
-[theme music plays]
-[audience cheering]
254
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:17,886
I need to talk to Nikki.
255
00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:22,099
-And what are you gonna say to her?
-This is getting weird, dude.
256
00:11:22,975 --> 00:11:24,184
We'll be right back.
257
00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:28,397
[rock music playing]
258
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,441
A tattoo?!
259
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:33,277
I don't even wear waterproof mascara.
260
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:34,862
Red's gonna kill me.
261
00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:35,946
Gwen.
262
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:39,867
I know. But I stopped her
from getting a barbed wire tramp stamp.
263
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:41,410
So you're welcome.
264
00:11:42,453 --> 00:11:45,748
Grandma, I am so sorry.
None of this was supposed to happen.
265
00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,124
How are you cooking dinner now?
266
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:51,628
It is helping me deal with the stress
of waking up with a flipping tattoo!
267
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:53,547
What's the emergency?
268
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:56,175
D'you run out of eggs?
'Cause I don't know how that happened.
269
00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:58,218
Look what happened at the dentist.
270
00:11:58,302 --> 00:12:00,804
Holy crapola!
271
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:04,308
I heard of them feeling you up
when you're out, but this crosses a line.
272
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,852
My mother would be rolling in her grave,
273
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,021
if we hadn't spread her ashes
274
00:12:09,104 --> 00:12:11,899
in the parking lot
of the Sizzler by her church.
275
00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:14,276
Did you get one too?
276
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,487
You've been talking nonstop about tatties.
277
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,239
No. You told me not to get one,
and I always follow what you tell me.
278
00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:22,367
Good. Those things are
a one-way ticket to whore town.
279
00:12:24,286 --> 00:12:25,287
Sorry.
280
00:12:26,038 --> 00:12:28,123
Are you sure there is no way
to get this off?
281
00:12:28,207 --> 00:12:31,084
Is there a… a special cream or something?
282
00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,837
If there was I wouldn't have
Fred Flintstone riding a surfboard
283
00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:35,047
on my hip bone.
284
00:12:35,798 --> 00:12:36,799
[door shuts]
285
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,886
That's Red.
Good Lord, what is he gonna think?
286
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:42,846
Oh man, he's gonna be pissed.
287
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,724
Stomp around,
probably take away my allowance.
288
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:51,146
Sorry. It's a Dad flashback.
289
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,023
You need to get out of here.
290
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,400
No, I'm not leaving you here
to take the blame.
291
00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:57,736
Cool. If he has
the blame thing covered, I'm out.
292
00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,238
Hang on.
293
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:02,074
Take these. We're low on fresh produce.
294
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,410
[sighs] Don't let Grandpa see your wrist
295
00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:07,287
until we figure out
the best way to tell him.
296
00:13:07,371 --> 00:13:10,916
I do not keep things from my husband.
He is a reasonable man.
297
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:20,008
Down in hell,
there's this little room in the wayback
298
00:13:20,092 --> 00:13:23,637
where the devil craps fire
into your mouth.
299
00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:29,142
That's the DMV.
300
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,188
How was your day, dear?
301
00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:35,816
Oh, it was just… It was…
302
00:13:37,276 --> 00:13:38,735
It… It was great.
303
00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:42,489
Just, like, nothing crazy happened.
304
00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:45,117
And what's he doing here?
305
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,118
Um…
306
00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:49,580
He brought Grandma the chicken.
[chuckles] From his garden.
307
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:50,664
Yes.
308
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,165
I was making supper.
309
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:56,920
I… I have to get up inside there.
310
00:13:57,421 --> 00:13:58,964
Oh yeah.
311
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,049
This is gonna be yummy.
312
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,512
Wanna take that chicken off your hand?
313
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:07,723
I do not.
314
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:13,020
I'm gonna go get the laundry now.
315
00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:21,737
[rock music playing]
316
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:25,574
I am so disappointed in you.
317
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:27,409
All of you.
318
00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:31,371
But especially you, little Kelso.
319
00:14:31,455 --> 00:14:33,624
I was wrong the other day.
320
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:37,461
You are a complete waste
of a foot in the ass.
321
00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:40,130
You never even gave him a chance.
322
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:43,383
You decided based on his last name
that you were going to hate him.
323
00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:44,509
This is so unfair.
324
00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:46,637
And that's what makes it fun for me.
325
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,138
Leia, he's right.
326
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:52,559
It is my fault, sir.
I was the one driving.
327
00:14:53,477 --> 00:14:55,771
Look, I'm not proud of what happened,
328
00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:59,816
but I do believe the mistakes we make
are what turn us into the men we become.
329
00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:03,904
And I would like to become a man
worthy of dating your granddaughter.
330
00:15:05,781 --> 00:15:07,199
-Get out.
-Already gone.
331
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,242
And you, go to your room.
332
00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:10,243
[door closes]
333
00:15:12,788 --> 00:15:15,332
Red, don't you think
you're being a little harsh?
334
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,876
Yeah, they made a mistake,
but nobody got hurt.
335
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:21,922
My wife is tatted up
like she's doing time at Rikers.
336
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:24,466
I'm starting to like it.
337
00:15:25,509 --> 00:15:27,427
I feel like Rizzo from Grease.
338
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:34,017
All I asked you to do
was to give Kitty a simple ride home.
339
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:39,189
But you pawned it off on the kids
and turned it into a circus.
340
00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:41,274
Like everything in your life.
341
00:15:42,234 --> 00:15:43,235
You know what?
342
00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:45,070
Screw you.
343
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:46,446
[scoffs]
344
00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:47,948
You're such a blowhard.
345
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:50,242
You know how many years
I spent getting yelled at,
346
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:52,536
being told how much I messed up?
347
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:56,415
So you don't have to respect me,
because I finally respect myself.
348
00:15:56,498 --> 00:16:00,085
And I don't have to stand here
while you yell at me anymore.
349
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:04,589
And thanks a lot for never teaching me
how to ride a bike!
350
00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:09,261
Do I look like her father?
351
00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:15,100
[Kitty sighs]
352
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:17,352
I brought you a little treat.
353
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:21,064
-What's with her?
-Oh, Red.
354
00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:23,025
Leia is a teenager.
355
00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:26,570
She's bursting with hormones
and bad decisions.
356
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,405
I was talking about Sherri.
357
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,950
Well, she's bursting with hormones
and bad decisions too.
358
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:34,578
I mean…
359
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:39,499
If she has issues with her father,
let her go and yell at him.
360
00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:40,542
Yeah.
361
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:45,130
It's not great when people blame you
for other people's problems.
362
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:46,757
[grumbles]
363
00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:49,926
What?
364
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,428
Jay is not his father.
365
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:56,224
He could have run off,
let Leia take all the blame.
366
00:16:56,308 --> 00:16:59,770
But you saw how he stood up for her
and took responsibility.
367
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,605
Michael Kelso would never have done that.
368
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:05,525
Michael Kelso glued himself
to our refrigerator.
369
00:17:06,735 --> 00:17:09,279
I think you're setting the bar kinda low.
370
00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:12,407
Well, look, Red. I'm guilty of it too.
371
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,451
Leia's right.
372
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,870
We never really did give Jay a chance.
373
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:20,332
-[Red sighs]
-Oh, oh, oh, oh!
374
00:17:20,916 --> 00:17:24,920
I know that sound.
It means you're starting to come around.
375
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:28,632
While you're a little open-minded…
376
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:30,092
Do you hate it?
377
00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:32,969
Well, actually…
378
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:36,264
-It's kind of adventurous.
-[Kitty giggles]
379
00:17:36,348 --> 00:17:37,724
[murmurs playfully]
380
00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:40,268
Oh!
381
00:17:40,352 --> 00:17:42,229
I know what you're in the mood for.
382
00:17:42,312 --> 00:17:43,855
Yeah. [chuckles]
383
00:17:45,524 --> 00:17:46,650
Yeah!
384
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,573
[Nikki] Hey, babe.
385
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:57,744
Are you okay?
386
00:17:57,828 --> 00:18:00,497
You didn't squeeze my butt
and say, "Hey, ladies."
387
00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:04,584
Nik, I'm kind of freaking out about us.
388
00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:07,254
-You've been spending time with Trevor--
-Trevor?
389
00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:09,714
Nate, there's nothing
between me and Trevor.
390
00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:11,383
You know I don't like muscular guys.
391
00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:15,262
I don't know how I feel about that, but…
392
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:19,224
It's not just him.
It's all this other stuff.
393
00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:20,976
The SATs, the studying.
394
00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:24,646
I'm afraid you're gonna leave me behind.
395
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:27,065
Nate, I'm not going to college
to leave you behind.
396
00:18:27,149 --> 00:18:30,318
I'm… I'm going to college
so I can have a future.
397
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:32,779
Am I in that future?
398
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,656
Well, the future's not set.
399
00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:37,492
There's no fate
but what we make for ourselves.
400
00:18:38,201 --> 00:18:40,036
You're hot and you quote Terminator 2!
401
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,915
I can't imagine not being with you.
402
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,919
I need you to tell me
we're always gonna be together.
403
00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:49,713
Hey, come here.
404
00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:56,303
Babe, I don't know what's gonna happen.
All I know is that I love you.
405
00:18:57,429 --> 00:18:58,471
And I hope that's enough.
406
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:00,765
It is.
407
00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:07,898
-Feeling better?
-Yeah.
408
00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:10,775
Hello, ladies. [chuckles]
409
00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:14,487
Okay, well I have to head home for dinner.
410
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,324
-Are you sure you're okay?
-Yeah.
411
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:19,743
-Yeah, totally.
-Okay.
412
00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:23,997
[melancholic rock music playing]
413
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:25,749
[knocking]
414
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:29,419
Hey there.
415
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:32,130
Listen, kiddo. I've been thinking.
416
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:35,008
If you really want to see this Kelso kid,
417
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:37,761
I'll give him a chance.
418
00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:39,804
Really?
419
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:43,767
But you gotta be careful.
No more joyrides.
420
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,811
And he's not allowed upstairs. Fair?
421
00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:50,690
So fair. I'll tell Jay everything
the next time I see him.
422
00:19:50,774 --> 00:19:51,775
Uh-huh.
423
00:19:57,906 --> 00:19:58,907
Already gone.
424
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,243
[Leia and Jay] Bye, babe!
425
00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:02,619
[both] Aww!
426
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:07,249
[rock music playing]
427
00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:10,335
I talked to Kitty, and I gotta tell ya,
428
00:20:11,169 --> 00:20:12,379
I know you're not my dad.
429
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:15,799
For one thing, you're alive.
430
00:20:17,592 --> 00:20:18,885
And also you're not a jerk.
431
00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:24,891
Well, uh, are we here to chat or…
or learn?
432
00:20:24,975 --> 00:20:26,977
Now… like we practiced.
433
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:29,604
[Sherri exhales]
My balance is probably pretty good
434
00:20:29,688 --> 00:20:32,482
from all those times
I walked home drunk in high heels.
435
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:36,152
Oh, I'm doing it! I'm doing it!
436
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,571
All right, there you go. Now turn around.
437
00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:39,572
Hey, I'm doing it.
438
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:40,699
Good job.
439
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:44,494
-Now, brake. Okay, now brake.
-Oh, whoa! [screams]
440
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:45,578
[crashing]
441
00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:46,871
[Red] You idiot!
442
00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:48,456
[Sherri] Don't worry. I'm okay.
443
00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:51,459
[rock music playing]