1
00:00:08,593 --> 00:00:09,969
‎好激动

2
00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:13,848
‎我们的第一台电脑
‎我感觉像柯克船长

3
00:00:15,475 --> 00:00:18,436
‎还有 奥兹 你真贴心 还帮我们安装

4
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,563
‎我就不明白 我们要这东西干嘛

5
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398
‎雷德 这是未来所趋

6
00:00:22,482 --> 00:00:25,485
‎咱俩至少有一个人得跟上时代

7
00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:29,572
‎快看 还带着个小踏板
‎就像我的缝纫机

8
00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:32,116
‎不 那是鼠标

9
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:34,911
‎鼠标是干什么用的？

10
00:00:34,994 --> 00:00:36,662
‎在你阁楼里拉粑粑

11
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:38,998
‎放轻松点 雷德

12
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:41,834
‎美国正步入线上 咱们也得出份力

13
00:00:41,918 --> 00:00:45,963
‎如今我们可以
‎了解时事、体育、政治资讯了

14
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,632
‎我已经在了解了

15
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,717
‎这个叫报纸

16
00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,762
‎知道我喜欢它什么吗？

17
00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:56,349
‎它不与政府连线

18
00:00:57,517 --> 00:00:59,685
‎这东西跟政府连着吗？

19
00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:02,647
‎是的 总统现在就能看到你

20
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,232
‎我知道你在开玩笑

21
00:01:06,359 --> 00:01:08,069
‎不过 万一你是认真的

22
00:01:09,362 --> 00:01:11,489
‎嗨 比尔 我超爱看你上深夜秀

23
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,994
‎内特 你要二手热水浴缸做什么？

24
00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:19,789
‎里面糊得净是别人的体液

25
00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:23,292
‎是啊 我们也可以糊

26
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,169
‎好浪漫

27
00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:29,215
‎妮可 这个不要钱
‎除了它 也就还有只山羊是白给的

28
00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:31,592
‎我爱你 但我不想跟你共享山羊

29
00:01:31,676 --> 00:01:33,761
‎万一咱俩分手呢？山羊归谁？

30
00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:38,141
‎我父母离了婚 信我一句
‎最好还是别逼山羊做出选择

31
00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:40,601
‎明天你自己去取那恶心的二手浴缸

32
00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:42,979
‎我们约了去“魅力摄影”拍照

33
00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:44,021
‎没关系

34
00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:46,691
‎可以等我的小胡子长出来
‎再去“魅力摄影”

35
00:01:47,483 --> 00:01:49,235
‎那就是“遥遥无期”咯

36
00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:53,197
‎闭嘴 格温 我喝牛奶时
‎差不多就能看出来呢

37
00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:57,535
‎听着 妮可 这东西可是先到先得

38
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,829
‎机会不等人
‎之前我就是这么错失超大狗笼的

39
00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:01,914
‎-你没养狗
‎-但我可能会得到一只山羊

40
00:02:01,998 --> 00:02:02,832
‎我受够了

41
00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:07,211
‎你都不跟我好好沟通感情

42
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:09,881
‎感情 是吧？

43
00:02:10,882 --> 00:02:11,716
‎感情有啥用？

44
00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:14,343
‎那你不介意我们只做朋友咯？

45
00:02:14,427 --> 00:02:16,804
‎必须的 这多好 我喜欢

46
00:02:17,889 --> 00:02:18,931
‎好得很

47
00:02:20,892 --> 00:02:22,143
‎又爽又开心

48
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:28,232
‎你的策略奏效了
‎他的憨男脑都烧短路了

49
00:02:32,028 --> 00:02:34,322
‎就像玩电子游戏卡住了

50
00:02:34,864 --> 00:02:38,910
‎妮可 我可不会
‎继续守在这里看你不理人

51
00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:41,746
‎杰伊 跟我去取热水浴缸不？

52
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,414
‎好啊 干啥？

53
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:45,917
‎好啊 干啥？

54
00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:48,961
‎-兄弟！
‎-嗯 我来了

55
00:02:55,593 --> 00:02:57,845
‎长者电脑日干活累了？

56
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,432
‎我试着跟你奶奶解释
‎什么是“虚拟桌面”

57
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,100
‎然后还得解释“虚拟”

58
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:06,771
‎后来不知怎的 还得解释桌子

59
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,273
‎你不是非得帮她

60
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,900
‎这不是为了她 而是为了我

61
00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:14,695
‎她只是大计划的一部分
‎我想向你奶奶出柜

62
00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:17,073
‎哇 好吧

63
00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:21,494
‎我…你看起来那么自信
‎我以为大家都知道了

64
00:03:21,577 --> 00:03:24,121
‎我是个生活在威斯康辛小镇的小同志

65
00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:26,832
‎法院停车场还有拴马的地方

66
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,878
‎对我来说 向任何人出柜都是大事

67
00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:34,131
‎我可以体会 七年级时 我挣扎了很久

68
00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:36,968
‎才跟父母说我想从单簧管改吹双簧管

69
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:40,846
‎但最终还是成了

70
00:03:41,973 --> 00:03:42,974
‎你也可以的

71
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:44,976
‎是啊

72
00:03:46,519 --> 00:03:47,645
‎绝对是一码事

73
00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:50,273
‎一 二 三 四

74
00:03:50,356 --> 00:03:52,358
‎在街上闲逛

75
00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:54,318
‎和上周没什么两样

76
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:58,614
‎没什么事好做 就跟你唠唠嗑

77
00:03:58,698 --> 00:04:01,325
‎这样挺好 这样挺好

78
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:02,243
‎（90年代秀）

79
00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:03,953
‎你好 威斯康辛！

80
00:04:04,537 --> 00:04:06,580
‎你为什么想向我奶奶出柜？

81
00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:09,292
‎这是我16步出柜计划的第七步

82
00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:11,127
‎原来出柜还得分步

83
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:13,754
‎每年在棕榈泉开会
‎我们都会更新步骤

84
00:04:15,131 --> 00:04:15,965
‎我开玩笑的

85
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:18,509
‎我知道

86
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,469
‎我有同性恋朋友 也有所了解

87
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:22,763
‎你在说我吗？

88
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,099
‎对的

89
00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:29,770
‎如我之前所说 我在朝最终阶段迈进

90
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:31,397
‎向父母坦白

91
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:34,066
‎我刚完成了第六步

92
00:04:34,150 --> 00:04:36,402
‎向仅有一面之缘的陌生人出柜

93
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,447
‎不好意思 我想你打错了

94
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:41,449
‎还有…我是同性恋

95
00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:45,077
‎不用找了 我是同性恋

96
00:04:49,665 --> 00:04:52,960
‎我是同性恋！

97
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:56,922
‎弹起来的时候 我又跟他说了一遍

98
00:04:58,591 --> 00:05:02,011
‎接下来是第七步
‎向时常见面的成年人出柜

99
00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:03,804
‎也就是你的奶奶

100
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,390
‎太好了 她特别喜欢你

101
00:05:07,058 --> 00:05:08,184
‎所有女人都喜欢我

102
00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:11,062
‎真可惜

103
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:14,690
‎你能不能帮我探探路？

104
00:05:14,774 --> 00:05:17,193
‎我只想确定是否找对人了

105
00:05:17,276 --> 00:05:19,820
‎找她没问题的 我奶奶比谁都贴心

106
00:05:19,904 --> 00:05:23,074
‎我的奶奶瞅着也很贴心
‎除非你在公共场合哺乳

107
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,161
‎那她就会往你脸上呲香水
‎还会骂你是破鞋

108
00:05:32,792 --> 00:05:33,834
‎在这儿呢

109
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:39,006
‎这比我们上次发现那片裸体海滩还爽

110
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,260
‎然后就看到我的棒球教练压弓步

111
00:05:44,929 --> 00:05:46,931
‎我现在的人生就这种感觉

112
00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:49,975
‎一个松垮垮、软塌塌的蛋蛋

113
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:51,477
‎兄弟…

114
00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:55,231
‎你因为莉亚丧成这样 我看着好郁闷

115
00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:57,608
‎知道干啥能好受点吗？

116
00:05:58,109 --> 00:05:59,819
‎女阴手 来吧

117
00:06:04,782 --> 00:06:07,576
‎-好精准
‎-这才是好玩的地方

118
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,913
‎妹妹不见了 痛苦又回来了

119
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:13,833
‎你们好 小伙子

120
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,210
‎你好 女士 我们为浴缸的事来过电话

121
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,378
‎哦 对

122
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,004
‎能转手真是太好了

123
00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:20,589
‎这东西以前是我先生的

124
00:06:20,673 --> 00:06:23,551
‎他去世后 我就没再怎么用了

125
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,636
‎我很遗憾 他是怎么死的？

126
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:26,679
‎他是淹死的

127
00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:31,100
‎-你还想要热水浴缸吗？
‎-杰伊

128
00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:32,935
‎他是在湖里淹死的

129
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:33,853
‎太好了！

130
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,439
‎我是说 请节哀顺变

131
00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:39,525
‎我只是…不想要个闹鬼的热水浴缸

132
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:41,152
‎那我们要了

133
00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,737
‎稍等 你们不想先试试吗？

134
00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:50,536
‎你们觉得够热吗？

135
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:51,787
‎是的 女士

136
00:06:52,288 --> 00:06:53,205
‎刚才是谁的脚？

137
00:06:53,289 --> 00:06:55,583
‎我喜欢这个游戏

138
00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:12,475
‎凯蒂 快过来

139
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,436
‎你需要什么？

140
00:07:16,729 --> 00:07:17,563
‎它醒了

141
00:07:19,315 --> 00:07:20,774
‎嗯 挺可爱的

142
00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:24,195
‎我一小时前让它睡了 现在肯定饿了

143
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,241
‎现在它死了

144
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:31,869
‎没事

145
00:07:32,912 --> 00:07:34,997
‎他对艾瑞克一开始也没好脸色

146
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,709
‎嗨 奶奶 我能问你点事吗？

147
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,378
‎这事有点敏感私密

148
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:44,507
‎是青涩话题吗？我好怀念这样

149
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:46,967
‎对 是关于我朋友的

150
00:07:47,051 --> 00:07:49,136
‎明白 你朋友 好的

151
00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:52,014
‎我跟艾瑞克也经常聊他那些“朋友”

152
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,684
‎他的“朋友”尿床了

153
00:07:55,768 --> 00:07:58,854
‎他的“朋友”迷上了一个老师

154
00:07:58,938 --> 00:08:02,441
‎他的“朋友”下身被橡皮筋勒住了

155
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:07,947
‎总之…

156
00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:12,743
‎你听完这件事 可能会觉得不舒服

157
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,579
‎是毒品吗？你应该告诉你朋友

158
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,915
‎刚开始只是罐啤酒 没等你反应过来

159
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,459
‎你就吸粉睡公园了

160
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:22,920
‎不关毒品的事

161
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:27,341
‎我不能明说 但这事很重要

162
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:32,930
‎这样做需要勇气
‎因为迈出这一步 就回不了头了

163
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,432
‎好的 明白

164
00:08:36,267 --> 00:08:39,937
‎那就告诉你朋友
‎什么时候找我聊都可以

165
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,690
‎谢谢奶奶 你是最酷的

166
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:46,694
‎没错 泰然自若就是我

167
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,532
‎唐娜 我是凯蒂 你女儿要尝禁果了

168
00:08:58,998 --> 00:09:02,418
‎真奇怪 你我从来没单独一起玩过

169
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:03,586
‎为什么？

170
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:05,004
‎我对你没意见

171
00:09:05,504 --> 00:09:07,089
‎我只是喜欢跟别人玩

172
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,008
‎我也是

173
00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,885
‎你哥哥居然为一个热水浴缸把我扔下

174
00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:14,013
‎他愿意洗澡 你就知足吧

175
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,558
‎我好无聊

176
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,060
‎我们要不要找点事做？

177
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,478
‎一起吗？

178
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:24,440
‎-我也没无聊到那种地步
‎-嗯 我也是

179
00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:25,899
‎我们毫无共同点

180
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:29,612
‎好吧 我们有一个共同点

181
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,072
‎必须的

182
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:34,908
‎等等 我的手链呢？

183
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,494
‎我不知道 我没见过

184
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:41,999
‎你真有趣

185
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:44,668
‎你也很有趣

186
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:47,421
‎要不组个趣葱圈？

187
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,049
‎趣葱圈！

188
00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:56,472
‎只要点一下这里 就可以上网了

189
00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:59,016
‎现在感觉好紧张

190
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:02,394
‎感觉就像新开了一卷保鲜膜

191
00:10:02,478 --> 00:10:06,148
‎第一下撕错了地方
‎接下来六个月都不好过

192
00:10:07,066 --> 00:10:08,233
‎按一下就对了

193
00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:21,497
‎好吧 互联网就是两个小魔兽对吼

194
00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,917
‎-形容得还挺形象
‎-就是

195
00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:29,421
‎在继续之前 我有件事想跟你说

196
00:10:29,922 --> 00:10:30,964
‎呃…

197
00:10:32,049 --> 00:10:33,133
‎你没事吧？

198
00:10:33,926 --> 00:10:36,178
‎你好像很紧张
‎是不是把马桶给塞了？

199
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,806
‎这不怪你 我家管道太老旧

200
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:43,435
‎是我自己的事 我和别人不太…

201
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:44,937
‎她人在哪？

202
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,481
‎莉亚 妈妈来了 赶紧给我下来

203
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:49,608
‎莉亚！

204
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,654
‎一路还顺利吗？

205
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:57,783
‎路上堵得厉害 我溜边溜了11公里

206
00:10:58,367 --> 00:10:59,702
‎妈妈 你怎么来了？

207
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:01,203
‎就是这小子？

208
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,205
‎这就是你的小禁果？

209
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:06,709
‎什么？

210
00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:09,920
‎我跟你妈妈说了你朋友犯冲动的事

211
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:15,718
‎我给你买了避孕套、凝胶、海绵
‎还有我能找到的最难看的内裤

212
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,724
‎-安定？
‎-那是给我的

213
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,685
‎妈 我没想发生性行为

214
00:11:26,437 --> 00:11:30,232
‎好吧 那你想告诉奶奶什么秘密？

215
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:35,404
‎其实吧 我是想发生性行为

216
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:38,240
‎找个男生…在床上

217
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:41,577
‎还有…其他干这事儿的地方

218
00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:46,206
‎你来得正好 她荷尔蒙指数都爆表了

219
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,043
‎没事做时 就画鸡鸡

220
00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:52,921
‎都魔怔了

221
00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:58,761
‎总统会听到的

222
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,308
‎好吧 听着

223
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:07,644
‎你没有草率行事
‎而是坦诚告诉我们 我为你骄傲

224
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,939
‎-也许我们该谈谈性事了
‎-我们谈过了

225
00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:13,192
‎那时候讲的都是
‎什么妹妹、棍棍、洞洞的

226
00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:14,902
‎这次要用专有名词了

227
00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:20,866
‎嗨 圈儿！

228
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,410
‎-咋啦 圈儿？
‎-你现在想做什么？

229
00:12:24,495 --> 00:12:27,247
‎有件事我和内特经常一起做

230
00:12:27,331 --> 00:12:29,917
‎但跟你一起应该更好玩

231
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:35,339
‎（魅力摄影）

232
00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:54,316
‎（避孕套）

233
00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:58,779
‎-好了 莉亚 现在你对我说
‎-那些词我说不出口

234
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:01,031
‎好吧 那怎么舒服就怎么说

235
00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:05,410
‎一旦棍棍进了妹妹 就不能进洞洞

236
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,872
‎等等 棍棍是哪个来着？要不这样？

237
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,750
‎不管啥进过啥 都别往啥里放

238
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:14,837
‎妈妈 我们真的不用搞这么大阵仗

239
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:18,090
‎我的确有喜欢的男生 我对他有想法

240
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:20,676
‎他有件吊腰的T恤衫…

241
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:23,679
‎我超嫉妒 真希望我是那件T恤衫

242
00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:26,640
‎要来真的了

243
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,434
‎没有啦 我都还没吻过他

244
00:13:30,561 --> 00:13:32,312
‎你告诉他你的感受了吗？

245
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:33,647
‎算是吧

246
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:37,442
‎但搞得一团糟 我完全不得要领

247
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,194
‎这是家族遗传

248
00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:42,322
‎-你也是？
‎-我？不 是你爸爸

249
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:48,453
‎不管尝试多少次…他总是会搞砸

250
00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:52,374
‎但我总会回到他身边…
‎因为他有一颗赤诚之心

251
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,544
‎就像你一样

252
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,964
‎等等 也就是说
‎老爸没有他说的那么厉害

253
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:02,342
‎这么说吧 你能出生算走运了

254
00:14:09,725 --> 00:14:11,602
‎玛丽安 我觉得很迷茫

255
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,478
‎我都认不清我自己了

256
00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:16,732
‎失去拉尔夫时 我也有过这种感觉

257
00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:18,609
‎我的整个世界都被颠覆了

258
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,153
‎我就是那种 玛尔

259
00:14:22,154 --> 00:14:24,364
‎但你能够适应 然后向前看

260
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:26,617
‎人生还有更多惊喜等着你

261
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:28,619
‎太深刻了

262
00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:33,081
‎我之前也是这么说的
‎只是没有亡夫而已

263
00:14:33,165 --> 00:14:36,627
‎奶奶 不可以 我说过了
‎别再把男人骗进你的热水浴缸了

264
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:41,006
‎什…没有啊 我们只是拿走前先试试

265
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,634
‎兄弟 这就是骗人的地方

266
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:49,181
‎我楼上有张免费的大床
‎如果愿意的话 可以试试

267
00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:51,308
‎-免费的？
‎-兄弟

268
00:14:57,105 --> 00:15:00,108
‎-对不起 她浪费了你们的时间
‎-不 不算浪费

269
00:15:00,192 --> 00:15:02,986
‎我最近正失落 她给了我很好的建议

270
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:05,238
‎是啊 她总爱帮帅哥

271
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:08,283
‎我要找《省钱一族》举报你

272
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:18,126
‎抱歉 我淡定的家人
‎搅合了你的关键时刻

273
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,337
‎没关系

274
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,923
‎在回家的路上
‎我告诉了过境警卫 以保持功力

275
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,927
‎好了 准备好听点肉麻的

276
00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:30,055
‎谢谢你昨天帮我打掩护

277
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,516
‎你不必这么做 但这对我意义非凡

278
00:15:33,517 --> 00:15:34,559
‎当然了 奥兹

279
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:37,604
‎虽然你说我画鸡鸡 给我挖坑

280
00:15:37,688 --> 00:15:39,523
‎但我就当你是慌不择路吧

281
00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:43,318
‎我当时很慌 心里这么想就这么说了

282
00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:46,863
‎好了 莉莉 我走了

283
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,950
‎只能走正道的话 路上的用时得翻倍

284
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:52,285
‎-好的 妈妈 爱你
‎-爱你

285
00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:55,789
‎-很高兴认识你 奥兹
‎-我也一样

286
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,791
‎看来莉亚的美貌是随了妈妈

287
00:15:58,750 --> 00:15:59,876
‎你真讨人喜欢

288
00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:02,254
‎你俩确定不会发生关系？

289
00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:04,089
‎-确定
‎-绝对的

290
00:16:06,717 --> 00:16:09,094
‎按下回车键 就能登录邮箱了

291
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:12,472
‎你有邮件

292
00:16:12,556 --> 00:16:15,767
‎我的天 我收到了邮件 太刺激了

293
00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:18,395
‎虽说我生过娃 但这个也相当刺激

294
00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:20,856
‎其实 邮件是我发的

295
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:24,568
‎我有话一直想跟你说 打开吧

296
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,029
‎好

297
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,365
‎双击一下小邮箱

298
00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:33,410
‎天啊

299
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,328
‎跑哪儿去了？

300
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,039
‎就在这里

301
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:39,916
‎点啊点

302
00:16:40,459 --> 00:16:42,544
‎不 是角落里的小邮箱

303
00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:44,880
‎-全没了
‎-在这后面

304
00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:46,465
‎-在啥后面？
‎-那个窗口

305
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:52,888
‎重启 那…

306
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,516
‎我们得等五分钟

307
00:16:58,935 --> 00:16:59,770
‎算了

308
00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:02,272
‎福尔曼太太

309
00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:03,982
‎我是同性恋

310
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:08,028
‎我知道很久了 现在想告诉你

311
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:10,781
‎我还有个叫艾蒂安的男友
‎他住在加拿大

312
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,284
‎我不知道对此该作何感想

313
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:22,084
‎我朋友莎朗就嫁了一个加国人
‎他把莎朗的丰田旅行车偷跑了

314
00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:26,129
‎车里还放着她猫咪的骨灰
‎可把她坑惨了

315
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,675
‎但…你不介意我是同性恋吗？

316
00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:32,010
‎当然不介意

317
00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:36,473
‎好孩子 到这儿来

318
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:42,270
‎你让我觉得自己很特别

319
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,739
‎这就是你帮我装电脑的原因吗？

320
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,575
‎不 是因为我喜欢

321
00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:09,798
‎那个…昨天 是吧？

322
00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:11,925
‎真没想到

323
00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,052
‎我们…？

324
00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:18,765
‎玩爽了没？必须的 两回呢

325
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,644
‎-还是别提这件事了
‎-秘密带进坟墓里

326
00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:25,355
‎妮可 坐这儿吧

327
00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:28,066
‎我要拿这片生菜去喂山羊

328
00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:29,860
‎你不会吧

329
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,903
‎不要钱的呀

330
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,865
‎你现在是山羊妈妈了

331
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:36,867
‎好吧 真可爱

332
00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:41,496
‎好了 第七步搞定 接下来呢？

333
00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:42,789
‎-我偷了辆车
‎-真的吗？

334
00:18:42,873 --> 00:18:44,583
‎没有 我告诉了我的儿科医生

335
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,045
‎天啊 杰伊进来了

336
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,839
‎还穿着那件小T恤

337
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,593
‎我的天啊 他累的时候越发帅了

338
00:18:56,011 --> 00:18:57,804
‎你说这友情牌 我还要打多久？

339
00:18:57,888 --> 00:19:00,390
‎难说 是你出了这不着调的主意

340
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:03,226
‎去找他谈谈就是了

341
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,477
‎我该怎么说？

342
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:07,647
‎在番茄酱跟前
‎对他说出我的爱？太可怕了

343
00:19:07,731 --> 00:19:10,650
‎我刚跟你奶奶出柜
‎你连跟知道你心意的男生说出心意

344
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:11,568
‎都不敢哇

345
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,240
‎-那是妮基的发箍吗？
‎-什么？

346
00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:18,658
‎不是

347
00:19:19,618 --> 00:19:20,535
‎嘿

348
00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:22,162
‎嗨

349
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,707
‎还记得那天晚上
‎我说只想跟你做朋友吗？

350
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,168
‎是啊 真意外 还是不好受那种

351
00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:32,005
‎那我接下来要说的 你肯定爱听

352
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,840
‎抱歉 停车费了好大功夫

353
00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:36,134
‎你的朋友在停车场追着一只山羊乱跑

354
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,427
‎还有一个女生冲他吼叫

355
00:19:38,929 --> 00:19:40,430
‎咱们第一次约会至少有件趣事

356
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,060
‎赛琳娜 这是我朋友莉亚

357
00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:46,228
‎你好 朋友

358
00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:52,150
‎我就是…来打点番茄酱

359
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:58,240
‎雷德？

360
00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:02,410
‎你在做什么？

361
00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:06,206
‎没什么 回去睡觉吧

362
00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:09,292
‎雷德福尔曼 你把手拿开

363
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,050
‎这是拉蔻儿薇芝？

364
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:23,765
‎还真是！

365
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:26,851
‎雷德福尔曼

366
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:32,065
‎你用新电脑了 我真高兴

367
00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:35,652
‎好了 帮我找找柯克道格拉斯的

368
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,156
‎-穿角斗士装那种
‎-好

369
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:42,659
‎尽情享受吧

370
00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:47,914
‎重启中

371
00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:30,165
‎字幕翻译：Zeo Niu