1
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:08,509
[rock guitar riff playing]
2
00:00:08,593 --> 00:00:09,969
This is so exciting.
3
00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:12,346
Oh! Our first computer.
4
00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:13,848
I feel like Captain Kirk.
5
00:00:14,557 --> 00:00:15,391
Oh.
6
00:00:15,475 --> 00:00:18,436
And, Ozzie, you are a doll
for helping us set it up.
7
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,563
I don't understand why we need that thing.
8
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398
It is the future, Red.
9
00:00:22,482 --> 00:00:25,401
One of us has to stay hip
and current with the times.
10
00:00:25,485 --> 00:00:26,319
Oh, look.
11
00:00:26,402 --> 00:00:29,572
It comes with a little foot pedal
like my sewing machine.
12
00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:32,116
No, that's the mouse.
13
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,451
Oh.
14
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:34,911
What does a mouse do?
15
00:00:34,994 --> 00:00:36,662
It craps in your attic.
16
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:38,998
Lighten up, Red.
17
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:41,834
America is going online.
Let's do our part.
18
00:00:41,918 --> 00:00:45,963
Now we can read about
current events, sports, politics.
19
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,632
I do that already.
20
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,717
It's called a newspaper.
21
00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,762
And you know what I love about this?
22
00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:56,349
No wires connected to the government.
23
00:00:57,517 --> 00:00:59,685
Is this thing connected to the government?
24
00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:02,647
Yes, the president can see you right now.
25
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,232
I know you're kidding.
26
00:01:06,359 --> 00:01:08,069
But just in case you're not…
27
00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:11,489
Hi, Bill. Loved you on Arsenio.
28
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,909
[funky rock music playing]
29
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,994
Nate, why would you want a used hot tub?
30
00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:19,539
It's gonna be contaminated
with other people's juices.
31
00:01:19,622 --> 00:01:21,249
[chuckles] Yeah.
32
00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:23,292
Until we contaminate it with our juices.
33
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,169
That's so romantic.
34
00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:29,215
It's free, Nik.
The only other free thing is a goat.
35
00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:31,592
I love you, but I am not sharing a goat.
36
00:01:31,676 --> 00:01:33,761
What happens if we break up?
Who gets the goat?
37
00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:38,141
As someone whose parents split up,
you don't wanna force the goat to choose.
38
00:01:38,224 --> 00:01:40,476
Nate, go get your disgusting
used hot tub tomorrow.
39
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:43,062
We have an appointment
to get our pictures done at Glamour Shots.
40
00:01:43,146 --> 00:01:44,021
Oh, it's cool.
41
00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:46,691
We can rebook Glamour Shots
for when my mustache comes in.
42
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,235
Oh! So in, like, 1990-never.
43
00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:53,197
Shut up, Gwen!
When I drink milk, you can almost see it.
44
00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:57,535
Look, Nik. This hot tub is
first come, first served.
45
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,829
It can't wait.
That's how I lost that giant dog crate.
46
00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:01,914
-You don't have a dog!
-But I might get a goat.
47
00:02:01,998 --> 00:02:03,207
-I'm done.
-[scoffs]
48
00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:07,211
You never want
to talk about our relationship.
49
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,798
Relationships, right? [chuckles]
50
00:02:10,882 --> 00:02:11,716
Who needs 'em?
51
00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:14,343
So you're okay with us just being friends?
52
00:02:14,427 --> 00:02:16,804
Pfft. Oh yeah, it's great. I love it.
53
00:02:17,889 --> 00:02:18,931
It's so good.
54
00:02:20,892 --> 00:02:22,143
It's so good and fun.
55
00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:23,978
[breathing rapidly]
56
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:28,232
Your move worked.
You short-circuited his boy brain.
57
00:02:32,028 --> 00:02:34,322
It's like he's glitching in a video game.
58
00:02:34,864 --> 00:02:38,910
Okay, Nik, I'm not sitting here anymore,
listening to you not talk to me.
59
00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:41,746
Jay, wanna help me pick up this hot tub?
60
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,414
Sure. What?
61
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:45,917
Sure. What?
62
00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:49,003
-Bro!
-Yeah, I'm coming.
63
00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:51,923
[rock music playing]
64
00:02:55,593 --> 00:02:57,845
Taking a break
from old-people computer day?
65
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,432
I tried to explain the virtual desktop
to your grandma.
66
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,100
Then I had to explain the word "virtual."
67
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:06,771
Then somehow I had to explain a desk.
68
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,273
You really don't have to do this for her.
69
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,900
It's not for her. It's for me.
70
00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:14,695
She's part of a bigger plan.
I want to come out to your grandmother.
71
00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:17,073
Wow. Okay.
72
00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:21,494
I… You seem so confident and self-assured.
I thought everyone knew.
73
00:03:21,577 --> 00:03:23,537
I'm a gay kid
living in small-town Wisconsin.
74
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,832
There are still parking spots
for horses at the courthouse.
75
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,878
The fact that I'm out to anyone is huge.
76
00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:34,131
I can relate. In seventh grade,
it took me a really long time
77
00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:36,968
to tell my parents
I wanted to switch from clarinet to oboe.
78
00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:40,930
But I got there.
79
00:03:41,973 --> 00:03:42,974
And you will too.
80
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:45,101
Sure.
81
00:03:46,519 --> 00:03:47,645
That's the same.
82
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,273
-[rock music playing]
-One, two, three, four!
83
00:03:50,356 --> 00:03:52,358
♪ Hangin' out down the street ♪
84
00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:54,318
♪ The same old thing we did last week ♪
85
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:58,614
♪ Not a thing to do but talk to you ♪
86
00:03:58,698 --> 00:03:59,907
♪ We're all all right! ♪
87
00:03:59,991 --> 00:04:01,325
♪ We're all all right! ♪
88
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:03,953
[young woman] Hello, Wisconsin!
89
00:04:04,537 --> 00:04:06,580
So why do you want to come out
to my grandmother?
90
00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:09,292
She's step seven
in my 16-step coming out plan.
91
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,127
I didn't know there were steps.
92
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:13,754
They're updated every year
at our conference in Palm Springs.
93
00:04:15,131 --> 00:04:15,965
I'm kidding.
94
00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:17,550
[chuckles]
95
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:19,552
I knew that. I know things.
96
00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:20,469
I have a gay friend.
97
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:22,763
Is it me?
98
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,099
Yes.
99
00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:29,770
As I was saying,
I'm working my way towards the final step,
100
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:31,397
telling my parents.
101
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:34,066
I've just completed step six,
102
00:04:34,150 --> 00:04:36,402
coming out to strangers
who I'll never see again.
103
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,447
I'm sorry.
I think you have the wrong number.
104
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:41,449
Also… I'm gay.
105
00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:45,077
Keep the change. I'm gay.
106
00:04:49,665 --> 00:04:52,960
I'm gaaaaay!
107
00:04:53,044 --> 00:04:54,211
[yelling fades]
108
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:56,922
I told him again when I bounced back up.
109
00:04:58,591 --> 00:05:02,011
Next is step seven, coming out
to an adult who I see all the time.
110
00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:03,804
AKA, your grandmother.
111
00:05:03,888 --> 00:05:04,889
[chuckles]
112
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,390
That's perfect. She loves you.
113
00:05:07,058 --> 00:05:08,184
All women love me.
114
00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:11,062
What a waste.
115
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:14,690
But can you feel her out for me?
116
00:05:14,774 --> 00:05:17,193
I just want to make sure
she's the right person for me to tell.
117
00:05:17,276 --> 00:05:19,820
She'll be great.
No one's sweeter than my grandma.
118
00:05:19,904 --> 00:05:23,074
My nana seems sweet
until you try to breastfeed in public.
119
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,161
Then she'll spray perfume in your face
and call you a whore.
120
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:31,499
[rock music playing]
121
00:05:32,041 --> 00:05:33,834
[excited gasp] There it is!
122
00:05:33,918 --> 00:05:36,379
[exclaiming]
123
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:39,590
This is even better than that time
we found that nude beach.
124
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,260
Until we saw
my baseball coach doing lunges.
125
00:05:44,929 --> 00:05:46,931
That's what my life feels like right now.
126
00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:49,975
A sandy, saggy sack.
127
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:51,477
Bro…
128
00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:55,231
It is really bumming me out
seeing you this down about Leia.
129
00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:57,608
You know what
always makes you feel better?
130
00:05:58,109 --> 00:05:59,819
Vagina hands. Get in here.
131
00:06:03,489 --> 00:06:04,698
[both laughing]
132
00:06:04,782 --> 00:06:07,576
-It's so accurate.
-That's what it makes it fun!
133
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,913
Well, now that it's gone, the pain's back.
134
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:12,248
[door opens]
135
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:13,833
Hello, boys.
136
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,210
Hello, ma'am. We called about the hot tub.
137
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,378
Oh yes.
138
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,004
I'll be glad to see it go.
139
00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:20,589
It used to be my husband's,
140
00:06:20,673 --> 00:06:23,551
but since he passed away,
I don't use it very much.
141
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,636
Oh. I'm so sorry. How did he die?
142
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:26,679
He drowned.
143
00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:31,225
-Still want the hot tub?
-[whispers] Jay.
144
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:32,935
Oh, he drowned in a lake.
145
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:33,853
Yes!
146
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,439
I mean, I am so sorry for your loss.
147
00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:39,525
I just… really did not want
a haunted hot tub.
148
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:41,152
We'll take it.
149
00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,737
Now, hold on.
Don't you want to try it out first?
150
00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:50,536
Is it hot enough for you, boys?
151
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:51,787
Yes, ma'am.
152
00:06:52,288 --> 00:06:53,205
Whose foot is that?
153
00:06:53,289 --> 00:06:55,583
Oh, I love this game.
154
00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:04,967
[funky rock music playing]
155
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,135
[strains]
156
00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:08,679
[loud computer chime]
157
00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:12,475
Kitty, come in here.
158
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,436
What do you need?
159
00:07:16,729 --> 00:07:17,563
It woke up.
160
00:07:19,315 --> 00:07:20,774
Well, that is so cute.
161
00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:24,195
I put it to sleep about an hour ago.
It must be hungry.
162
00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:26,947
Oh. [chuckles]
163
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,241
Now it's dead.
164
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:31,869
That's okay.
165
00:07:32,912 --> 00:07:34,997
Took him a while to warm up to Eric too.
166
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,709
Hey, Grandma, can I run something by you?
167
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,378
It's kind of sensitive and personal.
168
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:42,588
Is it teenager stuff?
169
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,507
[gasps] I've missed this.
170
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:46,967
Yeah, it's about my friend.
171
00:07:47,051 --> 00:07:49,136
Got it. Your friend. Right.
172
00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:52,014
I've had a lot of these "friend" talks
with Eric.
173
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,684
His "friend" wet the bed.
174
00:07:55,768 --> 00:07:58,854
His "friend" had a crush on a teacher.
175
00:07:58,938 --> 00:08:02,441
His "friend" got a rubber band
stuck on his privates.
176
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:07,947
Anyway, um…
177
00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:12,743
It's about something that might be
outside of your comfort zone.
178
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,579
Is it drugs?
Because you should tell your friend,
179
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,915
it starts with a beer,
and before you know it,
180
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,459
you're sleeping in the park
hooked on the crank.
181
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:22,920
It's not drugs.
182
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:27,341
I can't really say,
but it's… it's a big deal.
183
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:32,930
And it's scary because,
once you do it, there's no going back.
184
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,432
Got it. Okay.
185
00:08:36,267 --> 00:08:39,937
Well, you tell your friend
that I am ready to talk whenever they are.
186
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,690
Thanks, Grandma. You're the coolest.
187
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:46,694
That's me. Cool as a cucumber.
188
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,532
Donna, it's Kitty!
Your daughter is about to have sex!
189
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,410
[rock music playing]
190
00:08:58,998 --> 00:09:02,418
This is weird.
You and I never hang out by ourselves.
191
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:03,586
Why is that?
192
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:05,004
It's nothing bad.
193
00:09:05,504 --> 00:09:07,089
I just prefer other people.
194
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,008
Me too.
195
00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,885
[scoffs] But your brother
ditched me for that hot tub.
196
00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:14,013
Just be happy he's gonna take a bath.
197
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,558
[groans] I'm so bored.
198
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,060
Should we do something?
199
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,478
Together?
200
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:24,440
-I'm not that desperate.
-Yeah, no, me neither.
201
00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:25,899
We have nothing in common.
202
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:30,029
Okay, we have
one thing in common. [chuckles]
203
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,072
Totally!
204
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:34,908
Wait, where's my bracelet?
205
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,536
I don't know. I haven't seen it.
206
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:38,954
[snickers, laughs]
207
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:41,999
You're fun!
208
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:44,668
You're fun!
209
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:47,421
Should we be Funyuns?
210
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,299
Funyuns!
211
00:09:50,966 --> 00:09:53,886
[rock music playing]
212
00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:56,472
Just click right there,
and you'll be online.
213
00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:59,016
I have butterflies in my stomach
214
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:02,394
just like when I crack open
a new roll of Saran Wrap.
215
00:10:02,478 --> 00:10:06,148
If you start that off wrong,
the next six months are ruined.
216
00:10:07,066 --> 00:10:08,233
Please, just click it.
217
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:16,241
[dial-up modem screeching]
218
00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:21,497
Oh, okay, the internet is just
two demons yelling at each other.
219
00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,917
-That's actually pretty accurate.
-Yeah.
220
00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:29,421
So, before we continue, there is something
I wanted to talk to you about.
221
00:10:29,922 --> 00:10:30,964
It's, uh…
222
00:10:32,049 --> 00:10:33,133
Are you okay?
223
00:10:33,926 --> 00:10:36,178
You seem nervous?
Did you clog up the toilet?
224
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,806
It's not your fault. We have old pipes.
225
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:43,435
[sighs] It's actually about me,
and how I'm different from--
226
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:44,937
Where is she?
227
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,481
Leia, it's Mom! Get down here!
228
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:49,608
Leia!
229
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,654
How was your drive?
230
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:57,783
There was a big traffic jam, so I did
about seven miles on the shoulder.
231
00:10:58,367 --> 00:10:59,702
Mom, what are you doing here?
232
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:01,203
Is this the boy?
233
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,205
Is this your sex boy?
234
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:06,709
What?
235
00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:09,920
I told your mom
about your friend and her urges.
236
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:14,049
I got you condoms, jellies, sponges,
237
00:11:14,133 --> 00:11:15,718
and the ugliest underwear I could find.
238
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,724
-Valium?
-Those are for me.
239
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,269
-Mom, I'm not having sex.
-[sighs]
240
00:11:26,437 --> 00:11:30,232
Okay, so then what is this secret
you were telling Grandma about?
241
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:35,404
Actually, this is about me
wanting to have sex.
242
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,072
With a guy. [chuckles]
243
00:11:37,156 --> 00:11:38,240
In bed.
244
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:41,577
And, um… other places
where people do that to each other.
245
00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:46,206
You got here just in time.
Her hormones are exploding.
246
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,043
Constantly drawing penises.
247
00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:52,921
She's obsessed!
248
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,008
Shh!
249
00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:58,761
[whispers] The president can hear you.
250
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,308
Okay, look.
251
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:07,644
I am proud of you for opening up to us
before you did anything.
252
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,939
-Maybe it's time we have the sex talk.
-We had that talk.
253
00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:13,192
That one was all nay-nays,
nah-nahs, and hoo-hoos.
254
00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:14,902
This time, we're using the real words.
255
00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:19,406
[hip-hop beat playing]
256
00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:20,866
Hey, Funyun.
257
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,410
-Yeah, Funyun?
-What do you want to do now?
258
00:12:24,495 --> 00:12:27,247
Well, there's something
I normally do with Nate,
259
00:12:27,331 --> 00:12:30,209
but I think it'd be
so much more fun with you.
260
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:34,755
["Here Comes the Hot Stepper" playing]
261
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,757
-♪ Here comes the hot stepper ♪
-♪ Murderer ♪
262
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,092
-[shutter clicking]
-♪ I'm the lyrical gangster ♪
263
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:41,887
-♪ Pick up the crew in de area ♪
-♪ Murderer ♪
264
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:44,306
-♪ Still love you like that ♪
-♪ Murderer… ♪
265
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,141
[shutter clicking]
266
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,232
[song fades out]
267
00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:56,610
Okay, say it back to me, Leia.
268
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,779
[sighs] I can't with the real words.
269
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:01,031
Okay, whatever you're comfortable with.
270
00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:05,410
Once a nay-nay's been in a nah-nah,
it can't go in a hoo-hoo.
271
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,872
Wait, which one was the nay-nay again?
You know what?
272
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,750
Don't put anything
into anything after it's been in anything.
273
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:14,837
Mom, we really didn't need to go this far.
274
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:18,090
There's a boy I like, and, yeah,
I've had some thoughts about him.
275
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:20,676
Like, he's got this one T-shirt
that rides up a little…
276
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:23,679
I'm jealous, Mom.
I want to be the T-shirt.
277
00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:26,640
Oh, it's happening!
278
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,434
It's not happening.
I haven't even kissed him yet.
279
00:13:30,561 --> 00:13:32,729
Okay, well, have you told him
how you feel?
280
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:33,647
Sort of.
281
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:37,442
[sighs] It's kind of a big mess.
I'm so bad at this.
282
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,194
It runs in the family.
283
00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:42,322
-You too?
-Me? No. Your dad.
284
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:48,453
But no matter how many times
he messed it all up,
285
00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:52,374
I always found my way back to him…
because he has a good heart.
286
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,544
Just like you.
287
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,964
Wait, so Dad wasn't as smooth
as he says he was.
288
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:02,342
Let's just say, you're lucky you exist.
289
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:05,971
[rock music playing]
290
00:14:09,725 --> 00:14:11,602
I just feel so lost, Marion.
291
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,478
I don't know who I am anymore.
292
00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:16,732
I went through the same thing
when I lost Ralph.
293
00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:18,609
My whole world turned upside down.
294
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,153
I'm so there, Mar.
295
00:14:22,154 --> 00:14:24,364
But you can adapt. You move on.
296
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:26,617
Life has more surprises waiting for you.
297
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:28,785
That's deep.
298
00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:33,081
That's basically what I said
but without the dead husband stuff.
299
00:14:33,165 --> 00:14:34,207
Grandma! No!
300
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:36,627
I told you to stop tricking guys
into your hot tub.
301
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:41,006
Wha… She didn't do that. We're just
trying it out before we take it.
302
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,634
Bro, I think that's the trick.
303
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:49,181
I've got a free king-size bed upstairs
if you'd like to try that out.
304
00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:51,308
-It's free?
-Bro!
305
00:14:57,105 --> 00:15:00,108
-Sorry she wasted your time.
-No, it wasn't a waste.
306
00:15:00,192 --> 00:15:02,986
I was getting down on myself,
and she gave me really good advice.
307
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:05,238
Yeah, she always helps out the cute ones.
308
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:08,283
I am reporting you to the Pennysaver.
309
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:09,952
Ooh!
310
00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:13,872
[funky rock music playing]
311
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:18,126
Sorry your big moment
was hijacked by my very chill family.
312
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,337
It's fine.
313
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,923
On the way home, I told a crossing guard,
just to stay sharp.
314
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,927
Okay. Brace yourself for some sap.
315
00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:30,055
Thank you for covering for me yesterday.
316
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,516
You didn't have to do it,
but it really meant a lot.
317
00:15:33,517 --> 00:15:34,559
Of course, Ozzie.
318
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:37,604
You kind of threw me under the bus
with the penis stuff,
319
00:15:37,688 --> 00:15:39,523
but I'll chalk that up to nerves.
320
00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:43,318
I panicked, and that's
what I was thinking about, so I said it.
321
00:15:43,402 --> 00:15:44,528
[soft knocking]
322
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,863
All right, Le-Le, I'm out of here.
323
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,950
It's gonna take me twice as long
if I can only use the real lanes.
324
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:52,285
-Okay, Mom. Love you.
-Love you.
325
00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:55,789
-Nice to meet you, Ozzie.
-You too.
326
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,791
I can see where Leia gets her good looks.
327
00:15:57,874 --> 00:15:59,876
Oh! You're a little charmer.
328
00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:02,254
You sure you aren't gonna have sex?
329
00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:04,089
-Positive.
-A million percent.
330
00:16:06,717 --> 00:16:09,094
Just hit enter
and you'll be signed in to your email.
331
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:11,513
[rhythmic mouth noises]
332
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,765
-[male voice] You've got mail.
-Oh my God, I've got mail.
333
00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:15,767
Oh! This is thrilling.
334
00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:18,395
I mean, I've had kids,
but this is right up there.
335
00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:20,856
Actually, that's from me.
336
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:24,568
There's something I've been trying
to tell you, so go ahead and open it.
337
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:25,736
Oh?
338
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,029
Okay.
339
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,365
Double-click on the little mailbox.
340
00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:33,410
Oh dear.
341
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,328
Where did it go?
342
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,039
It's right there.
343
00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:39,124
Oh.
344
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:40,375
-Click-click!
-[mouse clicks]
345
00:16:40,459 --> 00:16:42,544
No. The little box in the corner.
346
00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:44,880
-The whole thing is gone.
-It's behind there.
347
00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:46,381
-Behind where?
-That window.
348
00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:48,633
[loud computer chime]
349
00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:49,718
[Ozzie huffs]
350
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:52,888
Restarting. So…
351
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,516
We have about five minutes.
352
00:16:57,893 --> 00:16:58,852
[sighs]
353
00:16:58,935 --> 00:16:59,936
Forget it.
354
00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:02,272
Mrs. Forman.
355
00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:03,982
I'm gay.
356
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:08,028
I've known for a while now,
and I wanted you to know.
357
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:10,781
I even have a boyfriend,
Etienne, who lives in Canada.
358
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,284
Well, I don't know how I feel about this.
359
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:15,869
Oh.
360
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:19,414
My friend Sharon married a Canadian man,
361
00:17:19,498 --> 00:17:22,084
and he made off with her Toyota wagon.
362
00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:26,129
And her cat's ashes were in there,
and she is a mess.
363
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,675
But… you're okay with me being gay?
364
00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:32,135
Well, of course I am.
365
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:36,473
Oh, sweet boy, get in here.
366
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:42,270
You just made me feel really special.
367
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,439
[chuckles softly]
368
00:17:47,651 --> 00:17:49,236
[inhales, exhales sharply]
369
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,739
Is that why you helped me
with the computer?
370
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,575
No, I did it because I loved it.
371
00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:58,370
[laughs giddily]
372
00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:03,083
[rock music playing]
373
00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:09,798
So… yesterday, huh?
374
00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:11,925
Very unexpected.
375
00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,052
Did we…?
376
00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:16,054
Have fun? Yeah.
377
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,597
We did.
378
00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:19,057
Twice.
379
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,644
-Let's never talk about this again.
-Secret dies with me.
380
00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:25,772
Sit here, Nik.
381
00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:28,066
I'm gonna take this lettuce
out to my goat.
382
00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:29,860
You did not.
383
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,903
It was free, Nik!
384
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,865
You're a goat's mommy now.
385
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:36,867
Okay, that's cute.
386
00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:41,496
So, step seven is in the books.
What's next?
387
00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:42,789
-I steal a car.
-Really?
388
00:18:42,873 --> 00:18:44,583
No, I tell my pediatrician.
389
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,045
Oh God. Jay just walked in.
390
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,839
He's wearing that tiny T-shirt.
391
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,593
Oh my God. He's even hotter
when he's tired.
392
00:18:56,011 --> 00:18:57,804
How long do I keep
this friend thing going?
393
00:18:57,888 --> 00:19:00,390
I don't know. It was your crazy-ass idea.
394
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:03,226
Just go talk to him.
395
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,477
What am I supposed to do?
396
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:07,647
Profess my love to him in front of
the ketchup pump? That's so scary.
397
00:19:07,731 --> 00:19:10,650
I just came out to your grandma.
You can tell a guy who knows you like him
398
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:11,568
that you like him.
399
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,240
-Is that Nikki's scrunchie?
-What?!
400
00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:18,909
No. [nervous chuckle]
401
00:19:19,618 --> 00:19:20,535
Hey.
402
00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:22,162
Hey.
403
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:25,707
Um, so you know how the other night
I said I just wanted to be friends?
404
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,168
Yeah. That was a surprise,
and not the fun kind.
405
00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:32,005
Well, then you're gonna like
what I'm about to say.
406
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,840
Sorry. It took me forever to park.
407
00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:36,134
Your friend is chasing a goat
around the parking lot
408
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,427
while some girl yells at him.
409
00:19:38,929 --> 00:19:41,014
At least we'll have a story
for our first date.
410
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,060
Oh, Serena, this is my friend Leia.
411
00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:46,228
Howdy, friend!
412
00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:52,150
I was, uh, just getting some ketchup
from the big ol' pump.
413
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:58,406
Red?
414
00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:02,410
What are you doing?
415
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:04,579
Uh…
416
00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:06,206
Nothing. Go back to bed.
417
00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:09,292
Red Forman, move your hands.
418
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:10,961
[Red groans]
419
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,050
Is that Raquel Welch?
420
00:20:21,972 --> 00:20:23,765
[gasps] It is!
421
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:26,851
Red Forman.
422
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:32,065
I am so happy
you're using the new computer!
423
00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:35,652
Now, find me one of Kirk Douglas.
424
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:37,654
[Red clears throat]
425
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,156
-In his gladiator outfit.
-Oh… Okay…
426
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:42,659
Have at it.
427
00:20:44,369 --> 00:20:45,537
[clicking mouse]
428
00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:46,705
[loud computer chime]
429
00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:47,914
Restarting.
430
00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:53,128
[rock music playing]