1
00:00:08,593 --> 00:00:09,969
This is so exciting.

2
00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:12,346
Oh! Our first computer.

3
00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:13,848
I feel like Captain Kirk.

4
00:00:14,557 --> 00:00:15,391
Oh.

5
00:00:15,475 --> 00:00:18,436
And, Ozzie, you are a doll
for helping us set it up.

6
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,563
I don't understand why we need that thing.

7
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398
It is the future, Red.

8
00:00:22,482 --> 00:00:25,401
One of us has to stay hip
and current with the times.

9
00:00:25,485 --> 00:00:26,319
Oh, look.

10
00:00:26,402 --> 00:00:29,572
It comes with a little foot pedal
like my sewing machine.

11
00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:32,116
No, that's the mouse.

12
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,451
Oh.

13
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:34,911
What does a mouse do?

14
00:00:34,994 --> 00:00:36,662
It craps in your attic.

15
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:38,998
Lighten up, Red.

16
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:41,834
America is going online.
Let's do our part.

17
00:00:41,918 --> 00:00:45,963
Now we can read about
current events, sports, politics.

18
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,632
I do that already.

19
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,717
It's called a newspaper.

20
00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,762
And you know what I love about this?

21
00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:56,349
No wires connected to the government.

22
00:00:57,517 --> 00:00:59,685
Is this thing connected to the government?

23
00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:02,647
Yes, the president can see you right now.

24
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,232
I know you're kidding.

25
00:01:06,359 --> 00:01:08,069
But just in case you're not…

26
00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:11,489
Hi, Bill. Loved you on <i>Arsenio.</i>

27
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,994
Nate, why would you want a used hot tub?

28
00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:19,539
It's gonna be contaminated
with other people's juices.

29
00:01:19,622 --> 00:01:21,249
Yeah.

30
00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:23,292
Until we contaminate it with <i>our </i>juices.

31
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,169
That's so romantic.

32
00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:29,215
It's free, Nik.
The only other free thing is a goat.

33
00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:31,592
I love you, but I am not sharing a goat.

34
00:01:31,676 --> 00:01:33,761
What happens if we break up?
Who gets the goat?

35
00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:38,141
As someone whose parents split up,
you don't wanna force the goat to choose.

36
00:01:38,224 --> 00:01:40,476
Nate, go get your disgusting
used hot tub tomorrow.

37
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:43,062
We have an appointment
to get our pictures done at Glamour Shots.

38
00:01:43,146 --> 00:01:44,021
Oh, it's cool.

39
00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:46,691
We can rebook Glamour Shots
for when my mustache comes in.

40
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,235
Oh! So in, like, 1990-never.

41
00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:53,197
Shut up, Gwen!
When I drink milk, you can almost see it.

42
00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:57,535
Look, Nik. This hot tub is
first come, first served.

43
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,829
It can't wait.
That's how I lost that giant dog crate.

44
00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:01,914
-You don't have a dog!
-But I might get a goat.

45
00:02:01,998 --> 00:02:03,207
-I'm done.

46
00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:07,211
You never want
to talk about our relationship.

47
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,798
Relationships, right?

48
00:02:10,882 --> 00:02:11,716
Who needs 'em?

49
00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:14,343
So you're okay with us just being friends?

50
00:02:14,427 --> 00:02:16,804
Pfft. Oh yeah, it's great. I love it.

51
00:02:17,889 --> 00:02:18,931
It's so good.

52
00:02:20,892 --> 00:02:22,143
It's so good and fun.

53
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:28,232
Your move worked.
You short-circuited his boy brain.

54
00:02:32,028 --> 00:02:34,322
It's like he's glitching in a video game.

55
00:02:34,864 --> 00:02:38,910
Okay, Nik, I'm not sitting here anymore,
listening to you not talk to me.

56
00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:41,746
Jay, wanna help me pick up this hot tub?

57
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,414
Sure. What?

58
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:45,917
Sure. What?

59
00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:49,003
-Bro!
-Yeah, I'm coming.

60
00:02:55,593 --> 00:02:57,845
Taking a break
from old-people computer day?

61
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,432
I tried to explain the virtual desktop
to your grandma.

62
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,100
Then I had to explain the word "virtual."

63
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:06,771
Then somehow I had to explain a desk.

64
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,273
You really don't have to do this for her.

65
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,900
It's not for her. It's for me.

66
00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:14,695
She's part of a bigger plan.
I want to come out to your grandmother.

67
00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:17,073
Wow. Okay.

68
00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:21,494
I… You seem so confident and self-assured.
I thought everyone knew.

69
00:03:21,577 --> 00:03:23,537
I'm a gay kid
living in small-town Wisconsin.

70
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,832
There are still parking spots
for horses at the courthouse.

71
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,878
The fact that I'm out to anyone is huge.

72
00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:34,131
I can relate. In seventh grade,
it took me a really long time

73
00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:36,968
to tell my parents
I wanted to switch from clarinet to oboe.

74
00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:40,930
But I got there.

75
00:03:41,973 --> 00:03:42,974
And you will too.

76
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:45,101
Sure.

77
00:03:46,519 --> 00:03:47,645
That's the same.

78
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,273
-<i>One, two, three, four!</i>

79
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:03,953
<i>Hello, Wisconsin!</i>

80
00:04:04,537 --> 00:04:06,580
So why do you want to come out
to my grandmother?

81
00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:09,292
She's step seven
in my 16-step coming out plan.

82
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,127
I didn't know there were steps.

83
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:13,754
They're updated every year
at our conference in Palm Springs.

84
00:04:15,131 --> 00:04:15,965
I'm kidding.

85
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:19,552
I knew that. I know things.

86
00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:20,469
I have a gay friend.

87
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:22,763
Is it me?

88
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,099
Yes.

89
00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:29,770
As I was saying,
I'm working my way towards the final step,

90
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:31,397
telling my parents.

91
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:34,066
I've just completed step six,

92
00:04:34,150 --> 00:04:36,402
coming out to strangers
who I'll never see again.

93
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,447
I'm sorry.
I think you have the wrong number.

94
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:41,449
Also… I'm gay.

95
00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:45,077
Keep the change. I'm gay.

96
00:04:49,665 --> 00:04:52,960
I'm gaaaaay!

97
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:56,922
I told him again when I bounced back up.

98
00:04:58,591 --> 00:05:02,011
Next is step seven, coming out
to an adult who I see all the time.

99
00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:03,804
AKA, your grandmother.

100
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,390
That's perfect. She loves you.

101
00:05:07,058 --> 00:05:08,184
All women love me.

102
00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:11,062
What a waste.

103
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:14,690
But can you feel her out for me?

104
00:05:14,774 --> 00:05:17,193
I just want to make sure
she's the right person for me to tell.

105
00:05:17,276 --> 00:05:19,820
She'll be great.
No one's sweeter than my grandma.

106
00:05:19,904 --> 00:05:23,074
My nana seems sweet
until you try to breastfeed in public.

107
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,161
Then she'll spray perfume in your face
and call you a whore.

108
00:05:32,041 --> 00:05:33,834
There it is!

109
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:39,590
This is even better than that time
we found that nude beach.

110
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,260
Until we saw
my baseball coach doing lunges.

111
00:05:44,929 --> 00:05:46,931
That's what my life feels like right now.

112
00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:49,975
A sandy, saggy sack.

113
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:51,477
Bro…

114
00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:55,231
It is really bumming me out
seeing you this down about Leia.

115
00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:57,608
You know what
always makes you feel better?

116
00:05:58,109 --> 00:05:59,819
Vagina hands. Get in here.

117
00:06:04,782 --> 00:06:07,576
-It's so accurate.
-That's what it makes it fun!

118
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,913
Well, now that it's gone, the pain's back.

119
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:13,833
Hello, boys.

120
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,210
Hello, ma'am. We called about the hot tub.

121
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,378
Oh yes.

122
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,004
I'll be glad to see it go.

123
00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:20,589
It used to be my husband's,

124
00:06:20,673 --> 00:06:23,551
but since he passed away,
I don't use it very much.

125
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,636
Oh. I'm so sorry. How did he die?

126
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:26,679
He drowned.

127
00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:31,225
-Still want the hot tub?
-Jay.

128
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:32,935
Oh, he drowned in a lake.

129
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:33,853
Yes!

130
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,439
I mean, I am so sorry for your loss.

131
00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:39,525
I just… really did not want
a haunted hot tub.

132
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:41,152
We'll take it.

133
00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,737
Now, hold on.
Don't you want to try it out first?

134
00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:50,536
Is it hot enough for you, boys?

135
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:51,787
Yes, ma'am.

136
00:06:52,288 --> 00:06:53,205
Whose foot is that?

137
00:06:53,289 --> 00:06:55,583
Oh, I love this game.

138
00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:12,475
Kitty, come in here.

139
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,436
What do you need?

140
00:07:16,729 --> 00:07:17,563
It woke up.

141
00:07:19,315 --> 00:07:20,774
Well, that is so cute.

142
00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:24,195
I put it to sleep about an hour ago.
It must be hungry.

143
00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:26,947
Oh.

144
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,241
Now it's dead.

145
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:31,869
That's okay.

146
00:07:32,912 --> 00:07:34,997
Took him a while to warm up to Eric too.

147
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,709
Hey, Grandma, can I run something by you?

148
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,378
It's kind of sensitive and personal.

149
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:42,588
Is it teenager stuff?

150
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,507
I've missed this.

151
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:46,967
Yeah, it's about my friend.

152
00:07:47,051 --> 00:07:49,136
Got it. Your friend. Right.

153
00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:52,014
I've had a lot of these "friend" talks
with Eric.

154
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,684
His "friend" wet the bed.

155
00:07:55,768 --> 00:07:58,854
His "friend" had a crush on a teacher.

156
00:07:58,938 --> 00:08:02,441
His "friend" got a rubber band
stuck on his privates.

157
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:07,947
Anyway, um…

158
00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:12,743
It's about something that might be
outside of your comfort zone.

159
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,579
Is it drugs?
Because you should tell your friend,

160
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,915
it starts with a beer,
and before you know it,

161
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,459
you're sleeping in the park
hooked on the crank.

162
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:22,920
It's not drugs.

163
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:27,341
I can't really say,
but it's… it's a big deal.

164
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:32,930
And it's scary because,
once you do it, there's no going back.

165
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,432
Got it. Okay.

166
00:08:36,267 --> 00:08:39,937
Well, you tell your friend
that I am ready to talk whenever they are.

167
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,690
Thanks, Grandma. You're the coolest.

168
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:46,694
That's me. Cool as a cucumber.

169
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,532
Donna, it's Kitty!
Your daughter is about to have sex!

170
00:08:58,998 --> 00:09:02,418
This is weird.
You and I never hang out by ourselves.

171
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:03,586
Why is that?

172
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:05,004
It's nothing bad.

173
00:09:05,504 --> 00:09:07,089
I just prefer other people.

174
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,008
Me too.

175
00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,885
But your brother
ditched me for that hot tub.

176
00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:14,013
Just be happy he's gonna take a bath.

177
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,558
I'm so bored.

178
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,060
Should we do something?

179
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,478
Together?

180
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:24,440
-I'm not <i>that</i> desperate.
-Yeah, no, me neither.

181
00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:25,899
We have nothing in common.

182
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:30,029
Okay, we have
one thing in common.

183
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,072
Totally!

184
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:34,908
Wait, where's my bracelet?

185
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,536
I don't know. I haven't seen it.

186
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:41,999
You're fun!

187
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:44,668
<i>You're </i>fun!

188
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:47,421
Should we be Funyuns?

189
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,299
Funyuns!

190
00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:56,472
Just click right there,
and you'll be online.

191
00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:59,016
I have butterflies in my stomach

192
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:02,394
just like when I crack open
a new roll of Saran Wrap.

193
00:10:02,478 --> 00:10:06,148
If you start that off wrong,
the next six months are ruined.

194
00:10:07,066 --> 00:10:08,233
Please, just click it.

195
00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:21,497
Oh, okay, the internet is just
two demons yelling at each other.

196
00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,917
-That's actually pretty accurate.
-Yeah.

197
00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:29,421
So, before we continue, there is something
I wanted to talk to you about.

198
00:10:29,922 --> 00:10:30,964
It's, uh…

199
00:10:32,049 --> 00:10:33,133
Are you okay?

200
00:10:33,926 --> 00:10:36,178
You seem nervous?
Did you clog up the toilet?

201
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,806
It's not your fault. We have old pipes.

202
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:43,435
It's actually about me,
and how I'm different from--

203
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:44,937
Where is she?

204
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,481
Leia, it's Mom! Get down here!

205
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:49,608
Leia!

206
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,654
How was your drive?

207
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:57,783
There was a big traffic jam, so I did
about seven miles on the shoulder.

208
00:10:58,367 --> 00:10:59,702
Mom, what are you doing here?

209
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:01,203
Is this the boy?

210
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,205
Is this your sex boy?

211
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:06,709
What?

212
00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:09,920
I told your mom
about your friend and her urges.

213
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:14,049
I got you condoms, jellies, sponges,

214
00:11:14,133 --> 00:11:15,718
and the ugliest underwear I could find.

215
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,724
-Valium?
-Those are for me.

216
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,269
-Mom, I'm not having sex.

217
00:11:26,437 --> 00:11:30,232
Okay, so then what is this secret
you were telling Grandma about?

218
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:35,404
Actually, this <i>is</i> about me
wanting to have sex.

219
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,072
With a guy.

220
00:11:37,156 --> 00:11:38,240
In bed.

221
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:41,577
And, um… other places
where people do that to each other.

222
00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:46,206
You got here just in time.
Her hormones are exploding.

223
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,043
Constantly drawing penises.

224
00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:52,921
She's obsessed!

225
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,008
Shh!

226
00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:58,761
The president can hear you.

227
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,308
Okay, look.

228
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:07,644
I am proud of you for opening up to us
before you did anything.

229
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,939
-Maybe it's time we have the sex talk.
-We had that talk.

230
00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:13,192
That one was all nay-nays,
nah-nahs, and hoo-hoos.

231
00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:14,902
This time, we're using the real words.

232
00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:20,866
Hey, Funyun.

233
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,410
-Yeah, Funyun?
-What do you want to do now?

234
00:12:24,495 --> 00:12:27,247
Well, there's something
I normally do with Nate,

235
00:12:27,331 --> 00:12:30,209
but I think it'd be
so much more fun with you.

236
00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:56,610
Okay, say it back to me, Leia.

237
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,779
I can't with the real words.

238
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:01,031
Okay, whatever you're comfortable with.

239
00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:05,410
Once a nay-nay's been in a nah-nah,
it can't go in a hoo-hoo.

240
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,872
Wait, which one was the nay-nay again?
You know what?

241
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,750
Don't put anything
into anything after it's been in anything.

242
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:14,837
Mom, we really didn't need to go this far.

243
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:18,090
There's a boy I like, and, yeah,
I've had some thoughts about him.

244
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:20,676
Like, he's got this one T-shirt
that rides up a little…

245
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:23,679
I'm jealous, Mom.
I want to be the T-shirt.

246
00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:26,640
Oh, it's happening!

247
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,434
It's not happening.
I haven't even kissed him yet.

248
00:13:30,561 --> 00:13:32,729
Okay, well, have you told him
how you feel?

249
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:33,647
Sort of.

250
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:37,442
It's kind of a big mess.
I'm so bad at this.

251
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,194
It runs in the family.

252
00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:42,322
-You too?
-Me? No. Your dad.

253
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:48,453
But no matter how many times
he messed it all up,

254
00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:52,374
I always found my way back to him…
because he has a good heart.

255
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,544
Just like you.

256
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,964
Wait, so Dad wasn't as smooth
as he says he was.

257
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:02,342
Let's just say, you're lucky you exist.

258
00:14:09,725 --> 00:14:11,602
I just feel so lost, Marion.

259
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,478
I don't know who I am anymore.

260
00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:16,732
I went through the same thing
when I lost Ralph.

261
00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:18,609
My whole world turned upside down.

262
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,153
I'm so there, Mar.

263
00:14:22,154 --> 00:14:24,364
But you can adapt. You move on.

264
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:26,617
Life has more surprises waiting for you.

265
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:28,785
That's deep.

266
00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:33,081
That's basically what I said
but without the dead husband stuff.

267
00:14:33,165 --> 00:14:34,207
Grandma! No!

268
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:36,627
I told you to stop tricking guys
into your hot tub.

269
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:41,006
Wha… She didn't do that. We're just
trying it out before we take it.

270
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,634
Bro, I think that's the trick.

271
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:49,181
I've got a free king-size bed upstairs
if you'd like to try that out.

272
00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:51,308
-It's free?
-Bro!

273
00:14:57,105 --> 00:15:00,108
-Sorry she wasted your time.
-No, it wasn't a waste.

274
00:15:00,192 --> 00:15:02,986
I was getting down on myself,
and she gave me really good advice.

275
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:05,238
Yeah, she always helps out the cute ones.

276
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:08,283
I am reporting you to the <i>Pennysaver.</i>

277
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:09,952
Ooh!

278
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:18,126
Sorry your big moment
was hijacked by my very chill family.

279
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,337
It's fine.

280
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,923
On the way home, I told a crossing guard,
just to stay sharp.

281
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,927
Okay. Brace yourself for some sap.

282
00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:30,055
Thank you for covering for me yesterday.

283
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,516
You didn't have to do it,
but it really meant a lot.

284
00:15:33,517 --> 00:15:34,559
Of course, Ozzie.

285
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:37,604
You kind of threw me under the bus
with the penis stuff,

286
00:15:37,688 --> 00:15:39,523
but I'll chalk that up to nerves.

287
00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:43,318
I panicked, and that's
what I was thinking about, so I said it.

288
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,863
All right, Le-Le, I'm out of here.

289
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,950
It's gonna take me twice as long
if I can only use the real lanes.

290
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:52,285
-Okay, Mom. Love you.
-Love you.

291
00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:55,789
-Nice to meet you, Ozzie.
-You too.

292
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,791
I can see where Leia gets her good looks.

293
00:15:57,874 --> 00:15:59,876
Oh! You're a little charmer.

294
00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:02,254
You sure you aren't gonna have sex?

295
00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:04,089
-Positive.
-A million percent.

296
00:16:06,717 --> 00:16:09,094
Just hit enter
and you'll be signed in to your email.

297
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,765
-<i>You've got mail.</i>
-Oh my God, I've got mail.

298
00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:15,767
Oh! This is thrilling.

299
00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:18,395
I mean, I've had kids,
but this is right up there.

300
00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:20,856
Actually, that's from me.

301
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:24,568
There's something I've been trying
to tell you, so go ahead and open it.

302
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:25,736
Oh?

303
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,029
Okay.

304
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,365
Double-click on the little mailbox.

305
00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:33,410
Oh dear.

306
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,328
Where did it go?

307
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,039
It's right there.

308
00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:39,124
Oh.

309
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:40,375
-Click-click!

310
00:16:40,459 --> 00:16:42,544
No. The little box in the corner.

311
00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:44,880
-The whole thing is gone.
-It's behind there.

312
00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:46,381
-Behind where?
-That window.

313
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:52,888
Restarting. So…

314
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,516
We have about five minutes.

315
00:16:58,935 --> 00:16:59,936
Forget it.

316
00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:02,272
Mrs. Forman.

317
00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:03,982
I'm gay.

318
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:08,028
I've known for a while now,
and I wanted you to know.

319
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:10,781
I even have a boyfriend,
Etienne, who lives in Canada.

320
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,284
Well, I don't know how I feel about this.

321
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:15,869
Oh.

322
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:19,414
My friend Sharon married a Canadian man,

323
00:17:19,498 --> 00:17:22,084
and he made off with her Toyota wagon.

324
00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:26,129
And her cat's ashes were in there,
and she is a mess.

325
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,675
But… you're okay with me being gay?

326
00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:32,135
Well, of course I am.

327
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:36,473
Oh, sweet boy, get in here.

328
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:42,270
You just made me feel really special.

329
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,739
Is that why you helped me
with the computer?

330
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,575
No, I did it because I loved it.

331
00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:09,798
So… yesterday, huh?

332
00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:11,925
Very unexpected.

333
00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,052
Did we…?

334
00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:16,054
Have fun? Yeah.

335
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,597
We did.

336
00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:19,057
Twice.

337
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,644
-Let's never talk about this again.
-Secret dies with me.

338
00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:25,772
Sit here, Nik.

339
00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:28,066
I'm gonna take this lettuce
out to my goat.

340
00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:29,860
You did not.

341
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,903
It was free, Nik!

342
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,865
You're a goat's mommy now.

343
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:36,867
Okay, that's cute.

344
00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:41,496
So, step seven is in the books.
What's next?

345
00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:42,789
-I steal a car.
-Really?

346
00:18:42,873 --> 00:18:44,583
No, I tell my pediatrician.

347
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,045
Oh God. Jay just walked in.

348
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,839
He's wearing that tiny T-shirt.

349
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,593
Oh my God. He's even hotter
when he's tired.

350
00:18:56,011 --> 00:18:57,804
How long do I keep
this friend thing going?

351
00:18:57,888 --> 00:19:00,390
I don't know. It was your crazy-ass idea.

352
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:03,226
Just go talk to him.

353
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,477
What am I supposed to do?

354
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:07,647
Profess my love to him in front of
the ketchup pump? That's so scary.

355
00:19:07,731 --> 00:19:10,650
I just came out to your grandma.
You can tell a guy who knows you like him

356
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:11,568
that you like him.

357
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,240
-Is that Nikki's scrunchie?
-What?!

358
00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:18,909
No.

359
00:19:19,618 --> 00:19:20,535
Hey.

360
00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:22,162
Hey.

361
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:25,707
Um, so you know how the other night
I said I just wanted to be friends?

362
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,168
Yeah. That was a surprise,
and not the fun kind.

363
00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:32,005
Well, then you're gonna like
what I'm about to say.

364
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,840
Sorry. It took me forever to park.

365
00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:36,134
Your friend is chasing a goat
around the parking lot

366
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,427
while some girl yells at him.

367
00:19:38,929 --> 00:19:41,014
At least we'll have a story
for our first date.

368
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,060
Oh, Serena, this is my friend Leia.

369
00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:46,228
Howdy, friend!

370
00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:52,150
I was, uh, just getting some ketchup
from the big ol' pump.

371
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:58,406
Red?

372
00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:02,410
What are you doing?

373
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:04,579
Uh…

374
00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:06,206
Nothing. Go back to bed.

375
00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:09,292
Red Forman, move your hands.

376
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,050
Is that Raquel Welch?

377
00:20:21,972 --> 00:20:23,765
It is!

378
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:26,851
Red Forman.

379
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:32,065
I am so happy
you're using the new computer!

380
00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:35,652
Now, find me one of Kirk Douglas.

381
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,156
-In his gladiator outfit.
-Oh… Okay…

382
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:42,659
Have at it.

383
00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:47,914
Restarting.