1
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:08,259
[rock guitar riff playing]
2
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:11,012
So… how was last night?
3
00:00:11,095 --> 00:00:13,264
Did you break up with your boyfriend?
4
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,016
Aren't you just dying to know?
5
00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:17,268
Oh, I'm on pins and needles.
6
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:18,352
[Kitty laughs]
7
00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:22,648
Well, he took me
to one of those fancy places
8
00:00:22,732 --> 00:00:24,150
where you order at the table.
9
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:29,947
Wow!
10
00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:33,326
He spoils you. [chuckles]
11
00:00:33,910 --> 00:00:34,952
Well, he can afford it.
12
00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:38,039
I don't know if I mentioned this,
but he's kind of a local celebrity.
13
00:00:38,122 --> 00:00:39,415
Is it Gary Storm?
14
00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:42,668
The weather guy on Channel 2 news?
I love his bow ties.
15
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,546
Gary Storm died in a tornado.
16
00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:48,633
You're thinking of Johnny Thunder.
17
00:00:49,342 --> 00:00:52,095
Oh my God! You're dating Johnny Thunder?
18
00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:55,181
No, no. My guy's not a weatherman.
19
00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:58,476
He's got a bunch of salons.
You may have seen his commercials.
20
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,437
[electronic dance music playing]
21
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,071
Where's the hair?
22
00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:10,988
There's the hair.
23
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:12,073
There's the hair.
24
00:01:12,824 --> 00:01:14,158
Where's the hair?
25
00:01:14,659 --> 00:01:15,493
There's the hair.
26
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,494
There's the hair.
27
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:17,620
There's the hair.
28
00:01:18,371 --> 00:01:19,205
Explosion.
29
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,374
[booming]
30
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:26,546
[Fez] Chez Fez, where every day
is a good hair day.
31
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I said, good day.
32
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You're dating Fez?
33
00:01:33,553 --> 00:01:34,595
You know Fez?
34
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Oh, we know Fez.
35
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:40,268
-[rock music playing]
-[young woman] One, two, three, four!
36
00:01:40,351 --> 00:01:42,353
♪ Hangin' out down the street ♪
37
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,313
♪ The same old thing we did last week ♪
38
00:01:44,397 --> 00:01:48,609
♪ Not a thing to do but talk to you ♪
39
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♪ We're all all right! ♪
40
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,320
♪ We're all all right! ♪
41
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[young woman] Hello, Wisconsin!
42
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Do they know you guys are here?
43
00:02:01,706 --> 00:02:02,707
Oh, they don't care.
44
00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:04,333
They're in the zone.
45
00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:05,960
Nothing breaks it.
46
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,545
Watch this.
47
00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:15,386
How can she kiss my brother?
His dentist quit in the middle of an exam.
48
00:02:16,846 --> 00:02:17,805
[Ozzie] Guys.
49
00:02:17,889 --> 00:02:20,057
I got too close, and now I'm stuck in it.
50
00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:23,603
We've all been there.
51
00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:25,563
When you're in the middle of
a make out session,
52
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:26,856
and you're in the moment.
53
00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:28,691
And your lips just melt together.
54
00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:31,986
And his tongue hits the hangy thing
in the back of your throat
55
00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:33,905
and it feels so good.
56
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:35,323
What?
57
00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:37,575
The… uvula.
58
00:02:38,284 --> 00:02:40,369
The U-spot? [chuckles]
59
00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:42,496
Leia, have you ever kissed anyone?
60
00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:44,207
Never. Not once.
61
00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:45,958
It's just never happened, okay?
62
00:02:46,042 --> 00:02:48,461
In sixth grade, I was a foot taller
than all the other boys.
63
00:02:48,544 --> 00:02:52,131
And just when they got up to mouth level,
I did two years of advanced braces.
64
00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:53,466
Like headgear?
65
00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:55,176
It was so much worse.
66
00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:58,012
There was a crank
my parents had to tighten every night.
67
00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:00,765
It was like starting an old-timey car.
68
00:03:01,766 --> 00:03:03,100
Well, it was worth it.
69
00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:05,603
You have such a beautiful smile.
70
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,063
Do you ever take a day off?
71
00:03:08,481 --> 00:03:10,107
I wanna kiss someone.
72
00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,984
I think about it all the time.
73
00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:14,445
What's it like?
74
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,698
Okay. This is an emergency.
75
00:03:17,782 --> 00:03:19,492
We need to get you your first kiss.
76
00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:21,827
Let's go to the mall and knock this out.
77
00:03:21,911 --> 00:03:24,163
The mall?
Oh, don't make me start on a mannequin.
78
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:25,873
That's so embarrassing!
79
00:03:25,957 --> 00:03:28,376
No. It's full of guys.
80
00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:32,755
We'll find some goober, chat him up,
show him your teeth, lay one on him.
81
00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:36,175
I don't want my first kiss
to be with a goober.
82
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,260
You're right.
83
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,137
We should just wait until
you're confident enough,
84
00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:42,640
emotionally ready, secure in who you are--
85
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,809
Okay, okay! Mall.
86
00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:47,979
Summer of our first kiss. Right, Ozzie?
87
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,898
Don't lump me in with you,
you mouth virgin.
88
00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:53,484
I have Etienne.
89
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:57,822
Bro, I wanna support you, but you gotta
stop with the fake Canadian boyfriend.
90
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,240
Oh, he's real as hell.
91
00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:04,453
My parents took me
to see Phantom of the Opera in Montreal.
92
00:04:04,954 --> 00:04:07,665
And I met the cutest guy… Etienne.
93
00:04:08,541 --> 00:04:12,378
We were both reaching for
the last kids' XL souvenir sweatshirt.
94
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:13,754
And he let me keep it.
95
00:04:13,838 --> 00:04:15,172
We've never seen the sweatshirt.
96
00:04:16,382 --> 00:04:19,343
Whatever. You wouldn't know romance
if it threw acid in your face,
97
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:22,179
forcing you into a life of solitude,
composing the music of the night.
98
00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:24,890
God, I hope he's real.
99
00:04:28,144 --> 00:04:29,478
When did you guys get here?
100
00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,523
We were making out. [chuckles]
101
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:35,818
[rock music playing]
102
00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:38,738
Fez was one of Eric's friends.
103
00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:42,199
He started out
as a foreign exchange student, but…
104
00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:46,579
then I guess someone forgot
to exchange him back.
105
00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:50,082
Where is he from?
106
00:04:50,166 --> 00:04:55,296
[kettle whistling loudly]
107
00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:57,757
I hear it's just lovely there.
108
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:03,971
So, what did he say when you told him
you didn't wanna see him anymore?
109
00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:06,098
I didn't get that far.
110
00:05:06,182 --> 00:05:07,933
I mean, I tried.
111
00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:10,728
I told him it was over, and he said…
112
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,522
Over, under. I don't care. [chuckles]
113
00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:22,323
I'm flexible, baby.
114
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:26,202
So I said,
"I'm trying to focus on myself."
115
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I understand!
116
00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,834
And I'd like to watch you.
Watch you focus on yourself.
117
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,880
And then I said, "We gotta
act like adults here. We gotta talk."
118
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I can't.
119
00:05:43,636 --> 00:05:44,720
My mouth is full.
120
00:05:48,224 --> 00:05:50,518
He sucked off two of my Lee Press Ons.
121
00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:55,898
Well…
122
00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:58,317
He's got a strong tongue. That's fine.
123
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:03,155
No. He really is a lovely guy,
and he obviously likes you.
124
00:06:03,239 --> 00:06:05,157
Maybe see where it goes.
125
00:06:05,241 --> 00:06:08,035
Kitty, I really took
all that advice you gave me to heart.
126
00:06:08,119 --> 00:06:12,456
I need to stop jumping from guy to guy
and focus on myself for a while.
127
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:16,085
Darn it. That was good advice.
128
00:06:18,087 --> 00:06:20,881
I don't know what to do.
Normally, when I break up with a guy,
129
00:06:20,965 --> 00:06:23,134
I just tell the parole officer
to check his pee,
130
00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,760
and it takes care of itself, you know?
131
00:06:27,346 --> 00:06:30,182
Why don't I go talk to him?
Maybe I can let him down easy.
132
00:06:30,266 --> 00:06:34,228
Oh good. 'Cause if I do it,
I'm definitely gonna sleep with him again.
133
00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:37,731
What? I was trying to focus on myself,
134
00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:40,568
and last night myself wanted
to have sex with that guy, so…
135
00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:42,069
[electronic dance music playing]
136
00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:44,864
Welcome back to Chez Fez.
137
00:06:44,947 --> 00:06:45,865
[chuckles]
138
00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:49,076
It's always an honor
to have your hair in my chair.
139
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,286
[Kitty laughs]
140
00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:51,704
Well, I love coming here.
141
00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,998
I'm always so happy
to see how well you're doing.
142
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:57,293
I mean, free Tootsie Rolls.
Are you made of money?
143
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,670
Yes. Can you believe it?
144
00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:03,174
I tell you, Ms. Kitty. I love my life.
145
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:06,927
My business is booming.
I have the waist of Linda Evangelista.
146
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,056
And, as you know,
147
00:07:11,891 --> 00:07:13,184
I have taken a lover.
148
00:07:14,894 --> 00:07:15,895
Actually,
149
00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:18,606
I wanted to talk to you about Sherri.
150
00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:21,108
Oh yeah. She's so beautiful, right?
151
00:07:21,192 --> 00:07:23,903
She's warm and gooey,
like a chicken pot pie.
152
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:25,863
Uh-huh.
153
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,700
-But--
-Oh, and don't get me started on her butt.
154
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:30,826
[laughs]
155
00:07:30,910 --> 00:07:33,621
It's like the eighth
and ninth Wonder of the World.
156
00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:38,834
[sighs] Ms. Kitty, I haven't felt this way
about a woman since, uh…
157
00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:41,879
-Jackie.
-[gasps]
158
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,005
Yes!
159
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,341
Whatever happened between you two?
160
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:46,634
Oh, Ms. Kitty!
161
00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:52,973
We were at Hedonism Resort.
162
00:07:54,058 --> 00:07:55,142
In Hamaica.
163
00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:58,604
And I caught her on the phone one night…
164
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:00,272
[dramatic gasp]
165
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:02,983
…with Michael.
166
00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:05,069
Kelso?
167
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,237
Dukakis.
168
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,821
Yes, of course Kelso!
169
00:08:11,951 --> 00:08:12,868
She left me there.
170
00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:16,664
And I spent the next five days
getting kicked out of hot tubs
171
00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:18,249
for talking too much.
172
00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:21,794
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
173
00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:24,380
Oh, but that is the past.
174
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,924
And Sherri is my future.
175
00:08:28,259 --> 00:08:29,468
You know, Ms. Kitty,
176
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:33,973
when I'm with her… I'm no longer a man.
177
00:08:34,974 --> 00:08:37,434
I'm like a little boy
seeing the world for the first time.
178
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:39,979
Don't get me wrong, I still have
179
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:43,107
the voice of a man and the… hips of a man
180
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,734
and, uh… the mouth of a man.
181
00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:48,988
It's very confusing.
182
00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:54,702
But when I hold her in my arms…
183
00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:57,413
Oh, Ms. Kitty.
184
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,875
It's like the world just melts away…
185
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:05,629
and there's only us,
186
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:07,464
for eternity.
187
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,677
I'm sorry, Ms. Kitty.
What were you saying?
188
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:12,886
I was saying…
189
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:16,098
-I love love!
-Oh!
190
00:09:17,016 --> 00:09:19,393
Don't ever let her go!
191
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:23,689
[funky rock music playing]
192
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,524
Thanks for the ride, Grandpa.
193
00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:28,986
Any time you kids wanna
get out of my house, I'll drive you.
194
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,613
This shouldn't take too long.
195
00:09:30,696 --> 00:09:31,989
You guys need anything?
196
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,490
A miracle.
197
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:35,367
Fine.
198
00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:38,037
I'll be right over here, reading my paper.
199
00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:46,879
You have great taste.
200
00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:49,256
This is the new ionic massage chair.
201
00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:53,218
-Let me show you some of the features.
-Look. I know you're just doing your job.
202
00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:55,721
But go do it over there.
203
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,849
Any place that's not here.
204
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,017
[chortles]
205
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,145
You are gonna have to do
better than that to get rid of me.
206
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,688
[chuckles]
207
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,149
It's got variable speeds,
Corinthian leather,
208
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:11,528
and if you turn that frown upside-down,
I'll throw in same-day delivery.
209
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:15,282
I'm about to same-day deliver
your ass into that planter if you…
210
00:10:15,366 --> 00:10:16,533
[chair whirring]
211
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,410
Oh…
212
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,705
Sweet Lord.
213
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:25,209
This chair's got fingers!
214
00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:29,004
All I need is, like, a credit card.
215
00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,299
Just make it happen.
216
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:35,969
I'm really nervous.
217
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:38,180
My back sweat's
being funneled right into my butt.
218
00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:41,016
That's just your body
getting ready for romance.
219
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:44,228
You're cute, you're smart,
and you're awesome. You can do this.
220
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:47,231
It's a total sausage fest.
221
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,442
Yeah, look at all these guys.
222
00:10:50,526 --> 00:10:53,237
No. Hickory Farms is giving out
free samples.
223
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,197
Etienne loves a nice smoked Gouda.
224
00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:59,993
-Fine. If he's real, what's his last name?
-St. Bernard.
225
00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,537
-What school?
-St. Bernard's.
226
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:03,539
-Does he have any pets?
-Bichon Frisé.
227
00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:05,332
Wait. That reminds me.
228
00:11:05,416 --> 00:11:08,335
I've given CPR to a dog.
Does that count as a kiss?
229
00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:12,214
-Go. You got this!
-["This Is How We Do It" playing]
230
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,466
I'd like two scoops. Of you.
231
00:11:15,426 --> 00:11:16,468
I'm sorry.
232
00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:20,597
Hey, sexy. You eatin' grapes?
233
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,808
Yeah, because he's nine.
234
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:26,145
I'm so sorry. My dad has that shirt!
235
00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:28,105
[sighs]
236
00:11:32,151 --> 00:11:34,361
Ma'am, you are not allowed
behind the counter.
237
00:11:34,445 --> 00:11:35,320
I don't care anymore.
238
00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:37,948
Now put down the scooper,
and let's do this.
239
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:40,993
You don't have to make this so difficult!
240
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:43,996
Got away. [scoffs]
241
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:46,915
-Okay!
-You kids need to leave.
242
00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:49,334
You don't happen
to have a son my age, do you?
243
00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:53,255
So it went well?
244
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,258
No. Let's go. Where's Gwen?
245
00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:58,969
Gwen, let's bounce.
246
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,597
Gwen!
247
00:12:03,474 --> 00:12:05,392
Bye, Kevin. That was fun.
248
00:12:05,476 --> 00:12:06,935
Best day of my life.
249
00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:08,228
Calm down, Kevin.
250
00:12:08,312 --> 00:12:09,271
Okay.
251
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:10,314
Seriously?
252
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:11,899
One of us had to get some.
253
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:16,487
[hip-hop beat playing]
254
00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:20,949
Babe, I think you might be having
a reaction to one of my Lip Smackers.
255
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:22,743
Really?
256
00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:23,869
I feel fine.
257
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,457
Yeah, it looks fine.
258
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:32,920
That was a disaster.
And I'm on a list now, so I can't go back.
259
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,923
-What if I need new shoes?
-What do you mean, "what if"?
260
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,259
Whoa, gross.
261
00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:41,512
Why does your mouth
look like a monkey's ass?
262
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,180
A monkey's ass?
263
00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:46,475
Like, in a good or bad way?
264
00:12:47,059 --> 00:12:49,394
Come on. We should probably
get you to the urgent care.
265
00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:50,729
You said it wasn't bad.
266
00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:53,816
I was just comfortable,
and I didn't wanna get up.
267
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:57,736
Oh my God. I'm at the mall
throwing myself at randos.
268
00:12:57,820 --> 00:13:00,531
Meanwhile, they're making out so much,
his lips revolted.
269
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,115
What's wrong with me?
270
00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:04,660
Doesn't anyone want
to lick these $2,000 teeth?
271
00:13:06,245 --> 00:13:07,412
Wow. Okay.
272
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:11,208
Well, there is another idea,
but I didn't wanna bring it up
273
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,544
because it feels
kinda weird and desperate.
274
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:15,128
I think we're there.
275
00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:17,923
You could kiss Jay.
276
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,425
He's cute. He's always flirting with you.
277
00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:23,095
Plus, he's a Kelso.
278
00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:24,596
So? What does that mean?
279
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:26,181
He's a man-whore.
280
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:27,933
Oh. [chuckles]
281
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,936
As great as that sounds, I'm gonna pass.
282
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:34,189
Plus, he's our friend. It's too awkward.
There's gotta be someone else.
283
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,650
There's always Town Pool Ricky.
284
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,528
Oh great, a lifeguard. That's hot.
285
00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:42,656
No, he just hangs out
and collects the floating Band-Aids.
286
00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:45,701
But he's single and ready to mingle.
287
00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:47,619
At least that's what his shirt says.
288
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:49,997
So Jay?
289
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:51,748
Jay, it is.
290
00:13:53,292 --> 00:13:56,378
Red, I'm not sure
about this massage chair.
291
00:13:56,461 --> 00:14:00,090
We said we wouldn't change anything
in case one of us went blind.
292
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,633
[chair whirring]
293
00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:03,927
I'm sorry, gorgeous.
294
00:14:05,429 --> 00:14:10,934
The last thing I wanna do
is stress you out or upset you.
295
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,938
Are you feeling okay?
296
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,773
I'm awesome.
297
00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:18,191
[knocking]
298
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:21,528
Kitty, you did a terrible job with Fez.
299
00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:23,947
He told me he loved me.
What did you say to him?
300
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:28,368
I… I'm an older lady.
I can't recall the exact words.
301
00:14:28,452 --> 00:14:32,039
Kitty. He talked about a life together.
He started crying.
302
00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:34,791
Then he got his mom on the phone.
She started crying.
303
00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:36,543
Honey.
304
00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:38,295
Sherri's here.
305
00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:43,008
I know she is. I'm not sure you are.
306
00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:45,010
Good one, babe.
307
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:47,804
[laughs]
308
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:51,808
I'm sorry. I just… I got…
I got swept up in the moment.
309
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,352
He's so sweet.
310
00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:58,774
And his words sound like
a romance novel that I barely understand.
311
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:02,194
What am I gonna do?
This guy is undumpable.
312
00:15:02,277 --> 00:15:04,154
Well, clearly, I can't hack it.
313
00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:06,365
We need someone who is just ruthless.
314
00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:08,158
Who will go straight for the jugular.
315
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,035
An ax murderer.
316
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:14,164
Red, honey?
317
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,210
Should we get a cat?
318
00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:24,591
Just something warm to have right here,
319
00:15:24,675 --> 00:15:27,594
while I'm… chillin'.
320
00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:31,640
Chair, I need to talk to the real Red.
321
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:33,809
[whirring stops]
322
00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:35,102
Damn it, Kitty!
323
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,397
Did you have to pull the plug?
324
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:44,277
That's exactly why I don't put your name
on those papers at the hospital.
325
00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:49,491
There's our ax murderer.
326
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:53,412
[rock music playing]
327
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,123
Hey, you.
328
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:59,042
Where is everyone? I thought
we're meeting up here before bowling.
329
00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:02,754
Oh, the bowling alley's closed.
They ran out of balls.
330
00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:05,424
Come sit.
331
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:06,925
Okay.
332
00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:09,761
Look at that sky.
333
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:13,181
The stars are so bright, and the moon is
334
00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:14,975
also bright.
335
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,228
I never thought of it like that.
336
00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:21,398
Kind of romantic, don't you think?
337
00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:25,986
Whoa, you can see
right into that old lady's bathtub.
338
00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:28,613
Oh, she's crying.
339
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,616
I think her husband just died.
340
00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:39,833
-Leia?
-Yeah?
341
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:41,960
I know what's going on here.
342
00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:43,503
Oh good. Gimme a sec.
343
00:16:44,755 --> 00:16:45,756
Okay, I'm back.
344
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:52,095
Leia.
345
00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:53,513
I'm not going to kiss you.
346
00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:55,140
What?
347
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,226
Not even you?
Oh my God, this is so embarrassing.
348
00:16:58,310 --> 00:16:59,519
I'll be in here now.
349
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:03,190
Hey, stop. Don't be embarrassed.
350
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,817
Look. I think you're great.
351
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:09,279
You're cute and smart and interesting.
352
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:11,531
Really?
353
00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:15,243
Yeah.
354
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:18,455
That's why I don't think we should kiss.
355
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:20,874
Look.
356
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:24,711
Leia, I just don't want to be
some meaningless hookup.
357
00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:26,046
You know?
358
00:17:26,129 --> 00:17:30,342
Like, if it's gonna happen,
I want it to just happen.
359
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,386
And I want it to be amazing.
360
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,182
Okay, that was really nice.
361
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:39,768
You sure you don't wanna kiss?
362
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:42,938
Because my back sweat is
really telling me it's time for romance.
363
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,151
Let's just see where the summer takes us.
364
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:50,612
Who knows?
365
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:52,280
It might be somewhere really special.
366
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:58,370
[exhales sharply]
367
00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:02,165
[rock music playing]
368
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:04,501
Hello, Mr. Red.
369
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,585
Oh.
370
00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:08,171
Fez, you're here. Good.
371
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:11,341
Look.
372
00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:14,678
There's no easy way to say this.
373
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,055
It's over.
374
00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:22,144
Oh no.
375
00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:25,105
That's terrible.
376
00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:29,025
How long do you have left?
377
00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:36,241
-What?
-Don't worry, Mr. Red.
378
00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,118
I'll take care of Ms. Kitty
when you're gone.
379
00:18:39,578 --> 00:18:41,413
In every possible way.
380
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:46,751
I'm talking about you and Sherri.
381
00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:49,254
The two of you are over.
382
00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:50,839
What?
383
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,176
What are you talking about?
384
00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:56,386
Is this a joke?
385
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,346
-Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
386
00:18:58,430 --> 00:18:59,472
Sherri's dumping you.
387
00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:03,226
That's not funny.
388
00:19:05,896 --> 00:19:07,189
Chin up, kid.
389
00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:08,940
You gave it your best shot.
390
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:11,985
Look at me!
391
00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:17,240
Look me in the eyes
if you're going to rip my heart out!
392
00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:23,330
Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Red.
I shouldn't have raised my voice.
393
00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:27,375
But I saw a life for us.
394
00:19:28,043 --> 00:19:30,587
Holidays, travel, dying of an old age
395
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,757
while making love so we could be
buried together like a pretzel.
396
00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:36,468
Tough break.
397
00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:37,928
Yeah. Really tough.
398
00:19:39,054 --> 00:19:41,514
Everything else in my life
has lined up perfectly.
399
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:44,517
But the most important part,
someone to share it with…
400
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:47,354
it's missing.
401
00:19:50,941 --> 00:19:52,275
Here's the thing, kid.
402
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,237
You're weird.
403
00:19:57,739 --> 00:20:01,451
But, one day, you're gonna find
someone who loves that.
404
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:08,750
Besides, were you really ready for
the responsibility of a woman with kids?
405
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:10,210
She has kids?
406
00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:15,715
It shouldn't be shocking
that a woman in her forties has kids.
407
00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:17,092
She's in her forties?!
408
00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:21,471
Whew!
Really dodged a bullet there. [chuckles]
409
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,306
[rock music playing]
410
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,225
I still can't believe Jay didn't kiss you.
411
00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:29,104
It's so weird. Even though things didn't
turn out like I wanted, I'm not worried.
412
00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:30,814
Kind of excited for what's next, you know?
413
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,482
I so do.
414
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:34,859
I just feel like a brand-new woman.
415
00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:36,861
I can't wait to see
what's on the horizon for me--
416
00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:40,532
Mom. Thanks for the ride, but could you
go get your groove back somewhere else?
417
00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:44,494
Okay, okay. I'll go find myself
at Contempo Casual.
418
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:49,040
So what's the plan?
Just wait around for Jay?
419
00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:51,376
If he wanted me to wait for around him,
420
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:54,796
he shouldn't have told me
how cute and smart and interesting I am.
421
00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:56,339
You dork.
422
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,425
I've been telling you all along
how awesome you are,
423
00:20:58,508 --> 00:21:00,510
but it took some guy to say it
for it all to sink in.
424
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:01,594
No.
425
00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:04,014
Yeah, that's what happened.
426
00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:06,850
Whatever. I like the new confident Leia.
427
00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:07,934
Me too.
428
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:09,894
Actually, I'll be right back.
429
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,229
-["Shoop" playing]
-♪ Hey, yeah ♪
430
00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:13,315
♪ I wanna shoop, baby ♪
431
00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:20,572
♪ Damn, that sounds sexy ♪
432
00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,741
♪ Here I go, here I go, here I go again ♪
433
00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:25,160
-♪ Girls, what's my weakness?
-♪ Men! ♪
434
00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:28,455
♪ Okay then, chillin', chillin'
Mindin' my business ♪
435
00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:30,707
♪ Yo, Salt, I looked around
And I couldn't believe this ♪
436
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:33,084
♪ I swear, I stared, my niece my witness ♪
437
00:21:33,168 --> 00:21:35,628
♪ The brother had it goin' on
With somethin' kinda ♪
438
00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:38,298
♪ Wicked, wicked, had to kick it ♪
439
00:21:38,381 --> 00:21:40,759
♪ I'm not shy so I asked for the digits ♪
440
00:21:40,842 --> 00:21:42,218
♪ A ho? No, that don't make me ♪
441
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,929
♪ See what I want
Slip slide to it swiftly ♪
442
00:21:45,013 --> 00:21:47,640
♪ Felt it in my hips so I dipped
Back to my bag of tricks ♪
443
00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:50,810
♪ Then I flipped for a tip
Make me wanna do tricks for him ♪
444
00:21:50,894 --> 00:21:53,521
♪ Makes me wanna shoop, shoop, shoop ♪
445
00:21:53,605 --> 00:21:56,066
["Shoop" chorus playing]
446
00:22:02,781 --> 00:22:04,032
[song fades out]
447
00:22:04,115 --> 00:22:05,617
Bonjour, Etienne.
448
00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:09,496
[in French] I miss you too.
449
00:22:11,873 --> 00:22:14,417
What do you mean
your friends don't think I'm real?
450
00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:20,673
It's the same thing
with these gauche Americans.
451
00:22:25,053 --> 00:22:26,763
[laughing jauntily]
452
00:22:27,806 --> 00:22:29,933
Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes.
453
00:22:31,393 --> 00:22:32,644
Yes.
454
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:35,355
[somberly] Yes.
455
00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:39,984
[rock music playing]