1
00:00:08,259 --> 00:00:09,761
‎（威斯康辛州點域鎮）

2
00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:11,179
‎（1995年7月3日）

3
00:00:11,262 --> 00:00:12,764
‎（上午11點47分）

4
00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:14,140
‎（地點）

5
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:15,933
‎（琪蒂佛曼的廚房）

6
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:36,162
‎“觀”樂在我心…

7
00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:37,330
‎妳聞起來好香

8
00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,040
‎那是美乃滋的味道

9
00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:41,334
‎是車門聲嗎？

10
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,962
‎真的是，我來開門

11
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,634
‎我來開…

12
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,761
‎媽，我根本還沒敲門

13
00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:55,556
‎媽

14
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,308
‎媽，別蹭我的胸部

15
00:00:58,476 --> 00:00:59,352
‎爸

16
00:00:59,435 --> 00:01:01,562
‎-兒子
‎-抱一下？

17
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:04,148
‎-算了
‎-不必了

18
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,317
‎爺爺、奶奶好

19
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,695
‎莉亞，乖孫

20
00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:13,324
‎小朋友，長這麼高了

21
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,869
‎恭喜，車頭燈越來越大

22
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:19,330
‎妳的…也不賴？

23
00:01:20,331 --> 00:01:23,251
‎天哪，妳打籃球一定很可怕

24
00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:27,713
‎聽說妳得到了妳媽的跳投天分
‎和妳爸的…姓氏

25
00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:32,176
‎-我要躲去洗手間
‎-嘿

26
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:36,514
‎小心水龍頭，水燙得要死

27
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:39,767
‎艾瑞克，那是常溫

28
00:01:40,643 --> 00:01:42,937
‎問題在你敏感的嬰兒肌

29
00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:45,481
‎說真的

30
00:01:45,565 --> 00:01:49,110
‎我很期待這次的國慶日週末

31
00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:52,613
‎我們會烤熱狗和看煙火…

32
00:01:52,697 --> 00:01:54,448
‎我甚至租了《小美人魚》

33
00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:57,243
‎謝謝媽，但她不愛看了

34
00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:59,704
‎我們的小美人魚…有月經了

35
00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:01,414
‎艾瑞克，天哪

36
00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:04,917
‎老公別擔心，我拿得動

37
00:02:13,885 --> 00:02:16,137
‎90 年代秀

38
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:18,431
‎威斯康辛，你們好！

39
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,934
‎有人要吃肉桂餅嗎？

40
00:02:22,018 --> 00:02:25,396
‎我要，別聞我頭髮，媽，很怪

41
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:30,067
‎上次見到你是聖誕節，我要聞個夠

42
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,903
‎不准抱怨

43
00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:36,532
‎唐娜
‎艾瑞克把妳新書的書評寄來了

44
00:02:36,616 --> 00:02:37,533
‎我們看完了

45
00:02:37,617 --> 00:02:38,868
‎你們看完我的書？

46
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,661
‎不是，是書評

47
00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:43,206
‎謝謝妳，佛太太

48
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:47,418
‎-真希望妳叫我：“媽”
‎-我知道

49
00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:49,545
‎好

50
00:02:49,629 --> 00:02:50,546
‎改天吧

51
00:02:50,630 --> 00:02:52,006
‎要在這週末

52
00:02:53,299 --> 00:02:55,509
‎艾瑞克，大學的工作還好嗎？

53
00:02:55,593 --> 00:02:57,887
‎很順利，我現在是兼職教授

54
00:02:57,970 --> 00:03:00,056
‎所以我拿到永久停車位

55
00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:01,307
‎停單車用的

56
00:03:02,475 --> 00:03:04,810
‎這是熱門課程才有的待遇

57
00:03:04,894 --> 00:03:06,771
‎“《星際大戰》宗教論”是吧？

58
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,231
‎沒錯

59
00:03:08,314 --> 00:03:10,566
‎這個國家下次打仗輸定了

60
00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:13,945
‎要是正邪星系開戰就不會

61
00:03:15,071 --> 00:03:17,198
‎我要去打籃球

62
00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,700
‎快把暑假計畫告訴爺爺奶奶

63
00:03:19,784 --> 00:03:20,618
‎我們要去…

64
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,704
‎我們要去阿拉巴馬的亨茨維爾
‎參加父女太空營

65
00:03:24,914 --> 00:03:27,667
‎只有我們兩個…要待兩週

66
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:30,002
‎休士頓，請求開心玩，結束

67
00:03:31,796 --> 00:03:33,339
‎休士頓，是否收到，結束？

68
00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,218
‎-准許請求
‎-這就對了

69
00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,679
‎但妳…妳沒說“結束”

70
00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:42,056
‎-媽
‎-莉亞，去打籃球吧

71
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,058
‎不能讓妳爸更宅的那一面曝光

72
00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:46,727
‎太空營

73
00:03:47,812 --> 00:03:50,606
‎你可以穿上巴克羅傑斯的衣服？

74
00:03:50,690 --> 00:03:54,068
‎不行，要買駕駛艙體驗票才行

75
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:55,695
‎但我買了

76
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,740
‎莉亞好像不想去

77
00:03:59,824 --> 00:04:03,244
‎她這個年紀好像需要一點空間

78
00:04:03,327 --> 00:04:05,830
‎所以我給她空…太空營

79
00:04:07,832 --> 00:04:10,710
‎-太空營
‎-艾瑞克和莉亞處不來

80
00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:12,962
‎這個年紀很難搞…38歲

81
00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:14,255
‎好

82
00:04:14,338 --> 00:04:19,260
‎我只知道無論如何
‎我一定會愛她，在她身後

83
00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:21,053
‎這個想法很棒

84
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:25,391
‎因為在小孩身後，才方便…

85
00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,059
‎踹他們的屁股

86
00:04:27,143 --> 00:04:28,436
‎我們懂，謝謝爸

87
00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:01,010
‎妳好

88
00:05:01,886 --> 00:05:03,429
‎妳在幹嘛，偷窺狂？

89
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:06,349
‎我沒幹怪事，只是在站妳窗外

90
00:05:06,432 --> 00:05:10,394
‎看妳唱歌，想像如果我是妳
‎會是什麼感覺

91
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,064
‎我現在就走

92
00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:16,484
‎除非妳想聽我在芝加哥
‎盜錄的超酷音樂帶

93
00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:17,818
‎說說看

94
00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:19,528
‎超好聽的

95
00:05:20,613 --> 00:05:21,614
‎很棒的盜錄帶

96
00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:24,158
‎好聽“盜”不行

97
00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:25,951
‎快去拿啦

98
00:05:26,035 --> 00:05:26,911
‎馬上去

99
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,663
‎拜託別走

100
00:05:32,625 --> 00:05:36,796
‎這是妳媽媽以前的房間
‎而且妳爸住隔壁？

101
00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:39,673
‎他們一定常在這裡炒飯

102
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:41,926
‎難怪

103
00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:43,803
‎有時候

104
00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:45,012
‎在深夜

105
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,264
‎萬籟俱寂的時候

106
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:49,433
‎我還是會聽到…

107
00:05:52,770 --> 00:05:55,731
‎抱歉，我喜歡讓人覺得不自在

108
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,817
‎妳的確很厲害

109
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:02,321
‎來聊聊芝加哥，妳有什麼嗜好？

110
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,281
‎我？很多

111
00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:06,617
‎上學

112
00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:08,828
‎主要是上學

113
00:06:09,954 --> 00:06:13,749
‎我也是辯論社的大咖，這點無庸置辯

114
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,043
‎對，我不是風雲人物

115
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:18,546
‎很好

116
00:06:18,629 --> 00:06:19,755
‎風雲人物很糟糕

117
00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:21,715
‎說得沒錯

118
00:06:21,799 --> 00:06:23,092
‎這一段超好聽

119
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:28,848
‎可惡，葛雯！

120
00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:31,392
‎吵死了，快關掉，我在刮毛

121
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,521
‎我同母異父的哥哥，人不錯

122
00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:38,023
‎主要是因為他有廂型車，整他很好玩

123
00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:39,108
‎妳看喔

124
00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:43,070
‎說真的，葛雯，我差點割到奶頭

125
00:06:43,154 --> 00:06:46,115
‎所以我討厭聽瘋婆子的音樂

126
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:47,825
‎是嗎，內特？

127
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,911
‎我和朋友想組個樂團，叫“瘋婆子”

128
00:06:50,995 --> 00:06:53,831
‎我也要組個樂團，叫“蠢斃了”

129
00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:56,375
‎不錯喔

130
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:01,297
‎可惡，葛雯！

131
00:07:03,132 --> 00:07:05,384
‎家裡又熱鬧起來，真開心

132
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,553
‎真是…讓我心花怒放

133
00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:10,264
‎你離開後，我又難過起來

134
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:13,100
‎之後就是冬天

135
00:07:14,185 --> 00:07:16,103
‎我會去掃我媽的墓

136
00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:20,357
‎告訴她家裡變熱鬧有多歡樂

137
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,238
‎-可以給我糖漿了嗎？
‎-當然可以

138
00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:28,240
‎早安，再見

139
00:07:28,324 --> 00:07:30,576
‎等等，妳鼻子戴了甚麼？

140
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:31,535
‎鼻環？

141
00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:33,954
‎嬰兒肌，換你囉

142
00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:38,042
‎-妳怎麼有鼻環？
‎-葛雯給的

143
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,753
‎原來是葛雯，我不知道是她給的

144
00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:42,046
‎出門前先回答我

145
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:44,632
‎葛雯是誰？幹嘛在妳臉上穿洞？

146
00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:49,053
‎她住隔壁，我正要過去

147
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:51,472
‎-她爸媽在家嗎？
‎-不在，但她哥哥在

148
00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:54,391
‎乖孫女，妳在自掘墳墓

149
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:58,103
‎爸，我離家裡大概6公尺而已

150
00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:01,440
‎好，但妳要趕回來看煙火

151
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:02,483
‎-可以嗎？
‎-我盡量

152
00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:04,652
‎就像尤達大師說的…

153
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:05,861
‎幹嘛啦？

154
00:08:05,945 --> 00:08:10,908
‎就像尤達大師說的
‎“答應就要做到，不能‘盡量’”

155
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:15,329
‎尤達大師是虛假世界裡的布偶
‎還有人用手插他屁股

156
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,624
‎這句話太傷人

157
00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:20,751
‎青少年嘛

158
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,294
‎兒子，我很同情你

159
00:08:23,796 --> 00:08:24,838
‎但話說回來

160
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,883
‎這就叫現世報

161
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:36,517
‎我剩一張

162
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,354
‎一次好像只能出一張

163
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:41,438
‎再說一次？

164
00:08:43,983 --> 00:08:44,900
‎好酷的地下室

165
00:08:44,984 --> 00:08:45,818
‎根本是垃圾場

166
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,237
‎我沒惡意

167
00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:51,198
‎我在留校察看時認識歐基

168
00:08:51,282 --> 00:08:52,366
‎快説說你幹的好事

169
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:55,119
‎我對數學老師說他老婆劈腿

170
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,121
‎她在煎餅店和男人親嘴

171
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:59,164
‎-好糟糕
‎-沒錯

172
00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:01,959
‎煎餅店耶，沒格調

173
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:06,088
‎有件事讚到爆，絕對出乎你們意料

174
00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:08,799
‎烤汁豬排堡重新上市時，你也這麼說

175
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,509
‎小妮，我以為再也吃不到了

176
00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:12,511
‎你很害怕？

177
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,847
‎可憐的寶貝

178
00:09:21,437 --> 00:09:22,271
‎嘿，新來的妹妹

179
00:09:23,647 --> 00:09:24,523
‎嘿，小男生

180
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:27,776
‎或是男人？

181
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:32,740
‎我不知道你毛長得怎樣，也許很不錯

182
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,533
‎莉亞，他是傑伊

183
00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:38,829
‎請把你的拉鍊和鈕扣復原扣好

184
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:42,625
‎葛雯，別這樣，我只是想認識一下

185
00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:44,710
‎對了

186
00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:47,046
‎你有信教嗎？

187
00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:49,214
‎我有

188
00:09:50,466 --> 00:09:52,092
‎妳的表情有異

189
00:09:52,176 --> 00:09:54,178
‎但我喜歡

190
00:09:55,471 --> 00:09:57,056
‎我可以宣布喜事了嗎？

191
00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:59,892
‎我們在廂型車裡閒混

192
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:03,312
‎-為什麼都是他坐前座？
‎-我先說先贏

193
00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,939
‎-但我是你女友
‎-對，但他是我好友

194
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:09,360
‎-兄弟
‎-兄弟

195
00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:11,236
‎兄弟

196
00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:13,989
‎兄弟

197
00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:18,327
‎好過分，我為了你拒絕高三生

198
00:10:19,078 --> 00:10:21,538
‎寶貝對不起，你們兩個都很重要

199
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,791
‎但過去12年，傑伊在背後支持我

200
00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:27,336
‎妳過去6個月讓我從後面來
‎我下不了決定

201
00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:30,506
‎你們是來拿阿姨平價酒行的
‎桶裝啤酒嗎？

202
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,134
‎-沒錯
‎-對啊

203
00:10:34,218 --> 00:10:35,469
‎錢也先付了，對吧？

204
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:38,263
‎-沒錯
‎-對啊

205
00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:39,473
‎太好了

206
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:45,771
‎國慶日快樂

207
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:50,192
‎-兄弟！
‎-兄弟！

208
00:10:50,693 --> 00:10:55,030
‎-兄弟
‎-兄弟

209
00:10:55,114 --> 00:10:56,740
‎他們一路過來都是這樣

210
00:10:57,908 --> 00:11:00,911
‎別這樣，這是國慶日奇蹟

211
00:11:01,412 --> 00:11:02,246
‎是奇蹟啤酒

212
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:05,999
‎那還廢話什麼？裝上酒栓大喝一頓

213
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:07,710
‎-沒錯
‎-糟糕

214
00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:10,254
‎我們沒有酒栓

215
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,716
‎沒有酒栓，啤酒就被…栓住了

216
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:18,429
‎-親一下會讓你開心一點？
‎-除非妳嘴裡都是啤酒

217
00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:22,015
‎-妳有嗎？
‎-沒有

218
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,106
‎感覺好奇怪

219
00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:32,735
‎非常特別

220
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:35,070
‎我倒是很開心

221
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,824
‎煙怎麼這麼濃？

222
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:41,368
‎天哪，是爆米花

223
00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:45,038
‎孩子們，開心嗎？

224
00:11:45,998 --> 00:11:48,083
‎你們升級到樓上了

225
00:11:49,460 --> 00:11:50,961
‎我早知道有這一天

226
00:11:51,462 --> 00:11:52,671
‎只是沒料到這麼快

227
00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:57,092
‎艾瑞克，別擔心，莉亞不會有事

228
00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,386
‎妳能預測未來了？

229
00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:01,972
‎我買容易滑倒的棕鞋時，妳在哪裡？

230
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:05,142
‎-害我在機場的斜坡走不上去
‎-好，艾瑞克

231
00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:09,438
‎不准再喝水果酒

232
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,941
‎說得對，我醉了

233
00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:15,652
‎大部分都救回來了

234
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:16,904
‎謝了，媽

235
00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:18,697
‎“媽”

236
00:12:19,198 --> 00:12:21,200
‎很簡單吧，唐娜？

237
00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:24,787
‎妳叫一聲不就得了？

238
00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:27,873
‎不要，不想被逼

239
00:12:28,624 --> 00:12:30,125
‎媽，拜託算了吧

240
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:33,587
‎不行，不想被逼

241
00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:42,387
‎小孩對戰啤酒

242
00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:44,765
‎亙古以來的對決

243
00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:48,852
‎我們的爸媽和他們的爸媽都發生過

244
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,312
‎五月花號上的孩子也是

245
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:54,399
‎歐基，別煩我，我拼命在想辦法

246
00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:56,527
‎我知道，我聞到了

247
00:12:57,861 --> 00:13:01,573
‎等等，不能回阿姨酒行買酒栓嗎？

248
00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:04,701
‎大家都試過，但她很難對付

249
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,745
‎我甚至還對她調情，說

250
00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:09,039
‎“嘿，妹子”

251
00:13:10,082 --> 00:13:10,916
‎她毫無反應

252
00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:15,170
‎-用雷射光吧？
‎-別做夢了

253
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,257
‎那就沒轍，所有辦法都試過了

254
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,592
‎你只提了一個辦法，而且很蠢

255
00:13:20,676 --> 00:13:21,635
‎妳才蠢

256
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:24,638
‎你們都很蠢，討厭啤酒和美國

257
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,014
‎-寶貝？
‎-怎樣？

258
00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:27,599
‎你感覺很受挫？

259
00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:28,517
‎對

260
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,937
‎-所以才突然罵大家？
‎-對啊

261
00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:37,568
‎我們明天去林子裡
‎我看你在樹上打空手道好嗎？

262
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:38,902
‎當然好

263
00:13:40,571 --> 00:13:42,030
‎兩位呆瓜，演完沒？

264
00:13:42,114 --> 00:13:45,367
‎莉亞，應該讓妳去買酒栓
‎阿姨不認識妳

265
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:47,244
‎沒錯，妳絕對沒問題

266
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,163
‎而且妳的眼睛又漂亮
‎只是對買酒栓毫無幫助

267
00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:51,832
‎但我注意到這一點

268
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:54,209
‎嘿，妹子

269
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,630
‎莉亞，這樣超猛的

270
00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:01,383
‎我可能幹過一些瘋狂事

271
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,595
‎有一次在海灘上
‎海鷗偷走我的三明治

272
00:14:05,304 --> 00:14:08,098
‎我小聲罵牠：“賤鳥”

273
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,352
‎這樣吧？算我一份

274
00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:14,521
‎太棒了，新妹子超猛的

275
00:14:14,605 --> 00:14:16,148
‎-回廂型車上
‎-暫停

276
00:14:17,441 --> 00:14:18,817
‎這樣行不通

277
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:21,486
‎阿姨一定會要求這位小朋友出示證件

278
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:23,906
‎有道理

279
00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:26,116
‎我想到了

280
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:34,583
‎妳這樣的身子，確定要喝酒？

281
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:39,004
‎我買給老公的
‎他為新生兒派對買了啤酒

282
00:14:40,589 --> 00:14:41,423
‎真高級

283
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:46,011
‎-一共39.50元
‎-好

284
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:53,602
‎我不是婦產科醫生
‎但寶寶好像有問題

285
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,229
‎差點騙倒我

286
00:14:56,313 --> 00:14:58,523
‎我受夠你們這些小孩，我要報警

287
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,526
‎阿姨，把電話放下

288
00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:02,736
‎妳閉嘴

289
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:04,613
‎好，但等警察到了

290
00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:08,283
‎妳要怎麼解釋
‎為什麼一群小孩拿到一桶啤酒？

291
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:09,952
‎不能怪我，要怪魏德

292
00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:10,911
‎阿姨

293
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:15,582
‎不管怎樣，妳的販酒執照都會被吊銷

294
00:15:15,666 --> 00:15:21,004
‎所以快掛斷電話，把酒栓賣給我
‎讓大家過個快樂的國慶日

295
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,093
‎妳是律師嗎？

296
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:29,346
‎青少年辯論區賽冠軍

297
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,056
‎妳根本沒勝算

298
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:39,356
‎敬阿姨殺手莉亞！

299
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,816
‎敬莉亞！

300
00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:42,526
‎還有敬薩波斯基老師

301
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,154
‎她是我的辯論社教練，把我逼得很緊

302
00:15:46,238 --> 00:15:48,532
‎敬薩波斯基老師！

303
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:53,370
‎小妮快看，有流星，快許願

304
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,871
‎那是煙火，寶貝

305
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:59,835
‎妳今晚好猛，想不到妳這麼厲害

306
00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:04,297
‎我也想不到，但我喜歡這種感覺

307
00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:09,011
‎感覺自由又快樂
‎希望我能在這裡過暑假

308
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,179
‎那就留下來

309
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:13,348
‎我爸不會答應

310
00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:15,642
‎我父母離異時

311
00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:19,521
‎學校的心理醫師說
‎我的人生沒希望了

312
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:23,400
‎我心想：“不，我不認輸”

313
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:26,445
‎所以我回家後
‎在洗衣機上把頭髮漂白

314
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:29,114
‎剪開牛仔褲，決定過這種人生

315
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:30,532
‎絕不會沒希望

316
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,870
‎這句話可能很呆

317
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:38,290
‎但…我蠻想當妳的好朋友

318
00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:39,750
‎那我們該怎麼做呢？

319
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:41,710
‎留下來過暑假

320
00:16:42,753 --> 00:16:45,756
‎別說愚蠢的免責聲明，不說我也知道

321
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,300
‎這下好了

322
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:51,011
‎她錯過了煙火和熱狗

323
00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:55,348
‎現在它們冰冷地躺在盤子上
‎像我的心一樣縮成一團

324
00:16:57,059 --> 00:16:57,976
‎艾瑞克

325
00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:00,312
‎媽，這樣聞頭髮還是很奇怪

326
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:03,315
‎最慘的一點是
‎我應該珍惜和莉亞相處的時間

327
00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:06,109
‎但我卻…想快點結束

328
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:10,030
‎寶貝，等你死了才會結束

329
00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:15,827
‎莉亞塔圖因星球佛曼

330
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:19,372
‎-她的中間名是“安”
‎-我從沒答應過

331
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:22,375
‎妳跑去哪裡了？那是啤酒嗎？

332
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:25,462
‎沒錯，剩下的在下水塔時撒光了

333
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,714
‎水…水塔？搞什麼？

334
00:17:27,798 --> 00:17:30,842
‎艾瑞克，我來處理，水塔？搞什麼？

335
00:17:30,926 --> 00:17:33,345
‎這才是我想看的煙火

336
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,140
‎對，水塔

337
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:40,060
‎我玩得很開心，不想結束

338
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,354
‎我知道你們聽了會不高興

339
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:45,023
‎但…我想留在點域鎮過暑假

340
00:17:45,607 --> 00:17:48,026
‎這是我的人生，我想過得精采一點

341
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:49,319
‎-莉亞
‎-妳來吧

342
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,446
‎老婆，火力全開，上

343
00:17:52,823 --> 00:17:55,075
‎-這需要勇氣，我很感動
‎-什麼？

344
00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:56,993
‎這個想法太扯了

345
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,412
‎-莉亞
‎-媽，換妳上，教訓她

346
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:02,541
‎我們非常歡迎妳留下來

347
00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:04,292
‎天哪！這是怎麼回事？

348
00:18:04,376 --> 00:18:05,210
‎琪蒂

349
00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:08,338
‎看來我們希望她留下

350
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,176
‎爸，你們常聊到

351
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,262
‎你和朋友玩得很開心

352
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:17,305
‎我也這麼希望，我要玩得開心

353
00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:19,307
‎聽我說，才第一天

354
00:18:19,391 --> 00:18:24,354
‎妳就穿了鼻環、喝了啤酒
‎還變得…極度暴躁

355
00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:27,315
‎妳完全變了一個人

356
00:18:27,399 --> 00:18:29,067
‎所以我不答應，妳想都別想

357
00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:30,902
‎我就知道你會這樣

358
00:18:30,986 --> 00:18:32,946
‎我明天不會上車

359
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:35,657
‎妳要是不上車，我就踹妳的屁股

360
00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:41,663
‎-天哪，艾瑞克
‎-你好壞

361
00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:45,250
‎我真以你為傲

362
00:18:46,585 --> 00:18:50,213
‎就像看你打出第一支全壘打

363
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,632
‎如果你打過全壘打的話

364
00:19:01,224 --> 00:19:02,225
‎你還好嗎？

365
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,436
‎真不敢相信

366
00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:07,230
‎我研究《星際大戰》一輩子
‎到了關鍵時刻

367
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:09,566
‎卻變成我的惡爸爸

368
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,029
‎我想過了

369
00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:17,824
‎有你爸媽看著
‎莉亞待在這裡不是壞事

370
00:19:17,908 --> 00:19:19,743
‎妳1970年代沒和我在這裡一起混嗎？

371
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,453
‎他們靠不住

372
00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:23,705
‎她是好孩子

373
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:26,875
‎我知道

374
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,210
‎可以相信她

375
00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:29,127
‎我知道

376
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:30,670
‎那問題在哪裡？

377
00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:32,339
‎我只是…

378
00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:35,217
‎她不再需要我，我受不了這種感覺

379
00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:38,553
‎她曾是我的小夥伴，但現在好像…

380
00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:40,639
‎陌生人

381
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:43,934
‎她不是陌生人，她只是…長大了

382
00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:46,603
‎我不喜歡

383
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,731
‎會嗎？沒人看出來呢

384
00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:54,653
‎艾瑞克，你放心

385
00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:59,366
‎你爸媽給我們空間找到彼此
‎我們才有這種人生

386
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:02,452
‎真的嗎？

387
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:05,956
‎你家大概只有6公尺遠
‎我們遲早會相遇

388
00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:20,679
‎嘿

389
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:22,514
‎幹嘛？

390
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,934
‎-妳的鼻環呢？
‎-那是磁鐵

391
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:28,019
‎打噴嚏時掉進排水口了

392
00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:32,023
‎我心都碎了

393
00:20:33,316 --> 00:20:36,903
‎我在妳這個年紀時
‎常和朋友窩在這間地下室

394
00:20:36,987 --> 00:20:41,116
‎一起鬼混、聽音樂、辦…其他事

395
00:20:42,492 --> 00:20:46,162
‎坐在那裏的樓梯上，和妳媽墜入情網

396
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:49,499
‎天哪，你們也有在樓梯上做？

397
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:50,542
‎沒有啦

398
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:54,921
‎沒有

399
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,800
‎我想過了…

400
00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:03,346
‎妳該留下來…過暑假

401
00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:06,308
‎-你說真的？
‎-真的

402
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:11,438
‎要說誰有資格…開心，一定是妳

403
00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:15,817
‎謝謝爸，很抱歉我這麼過分

404
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:18,194
‎想不到妳真有一套

405
00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:20,780
‎但妳知道，妳…

406
00:21:22,866 --> 00:21:23,742
‎什麼都很有一套

407
00:21:27,746 --> 00:21:28,663
‎我會想妳的，夥伴

408
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,624
‎我很愛妳，知道嗎？

409
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:36,046
‎你在聞我的頭髮嗎？

410
00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:37,464
‎才沒有

411
00:21:38,548 --> 00:21:40,675
‎這樣會很怪

412
00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:43,720
‎好

413
00:21:50,894 --> 00:21:54,105
‎要記得，我們的電話號碼沒有變

414
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:57,817
‎別擔心，我提得動

415
00:21:58,443 --> 00:21:59,277
‎這次也一樣

416
00:22:00,612 --> 00:22:01,446
‎好的，老婆

417
00:22:03,448 --> 00:22:05,116
‎我的乖兒子

418
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:08,078
‎媽

419
00:22:09,871 --> 00:22:11,915
‎我在聽你的心跳

420
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:14,125
‎聽我說

421
00:22:21,758 --> 00:22:22,675
‎愛妳，莉莉

422
00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:23,676
‎媽，再見

423
00:22:24,803 --> 00:22:27,931
‎別擔心，我們會很開心的

424
00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:29,349
‎有清過烤箱嗎？

425
00:22:30,475 --> 00:22:31,393
‎祝妳好運

426
00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:35,230
‎莉亞，還有一件事，這…很重要

427
00:22:35,313 --> 00:22:38,274
‎和新朋友到爺爺的地下室玩

428
00:22:38,775 --> 00:22:40,235
‎盡量去沒關係

429
00:22:40,318 --> 00:22:42,404
‎不，不可以

430
00:22:42,487 --> 00:22:44,197
‎那是她最安全的地方

431
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,283
‎沒錯，媽，對極了

432
00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:48,993
‎兒子，這招真高明

433
00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:50,370
‎虎父無犬子

434
00:22:50,453 --> 00:22:51,913
‎大家都討厭馬屁精

435
00:22:54,249 --> 00:22:55,166
‎爸，我也愛你

436
00:22:57,627 --> 00:22:58,461
‎媽，再見

437
00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:03,258
‎她說：“媽”了

438
00:23:05,218 --> 00:23:06,386
‎我贏了

439
00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:09,764
‎這就是對上專業人士的下場

440
00:23:15,270 --> 00:23:17,814
‎我要列購物清單

441
00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:19,649
‎孩子們會想吃零食

442
00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:21,484
‎琪蒂，別餵食他們

443
00:23:21,568 --> 00:23:23,862
‎噩夢就是這樣開始的

444
00:23:24,446 --> 00:23:26,614
‎我和朋友要去湖邊

445
00:23:26,698 --> 00:23:27,532
‎等等

446
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:30,160
‎-你哪位？
‎-我叫傑伊

447
00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:32,996
‎-傑伊克爾索
‎-慘了

448
00:23:35,165 --> 00:23:36,207
‎拜託不要

449
00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:38,418
‎糗大了！

450
00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:45,800
‎見過我兒子了？看看這傢伙

451
00:23:45,884 --> 00:23:48,344
‎他有他老爸的帥氣和老媽的腦袋

452
00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:49,762
‎去年拿到全A

453
00:23:49,846 --> 00:23:51,931
‎老天鵝啊，還進化了

454
00:23:53,850 --> 00:23:55,852
‎孩子們，開心玩

455
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:59,230
‎如果要跳下懸崖，記得要脫光光

456
00:23:59,314 --> 00:24:01,774
‎要是入水時的角度喬對

457
00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:03,318
‎感覺就像和湖做愛

458
00:24:07,697 --> 00:24:08,740
‎麥可，你好

459
00:24:08,823 --> 00:24:09,699
‎嘿，妹子

460
00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:19,083
‎感覺真是…結實又溫暖

461
00:24:21,127 --> 00:24:21,961
‎瑞德

462
00:24:22,545 --> 00:24:25,715
‎我們得聊聊你孫女對我兒子的企圖

463
00:24:27,217 --> 00:24:29,844
‎沒啦，開玩笑的，來抱一下

464
00:24:29,928 --> 00:24:31,179
‎你說呢？

465
00:24:32,055 --> 00:24:33,515
‎麥可，快點啦！

466
00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:36,017
‎佛太太，妳好

467
00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:40,063
‎潔姬，讓我開心一下會死嗎？

468
00:24:40,146 --> 00:24:41,064
‎天哪

469
00:24:41,564 --> 00:24:44,150
‎瑞德額頭上的血管快爆掉了

470
00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:49,531
‎好噁，我不要結婚套裝沾到老人血

471
00:24:49,614 --> 00:24:50,949
‎你們要結婚了？

472
00:24:51,032 --> 00:24:52,450
‎再婚

473
00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:54,452
‎-對，這是我們第二次再婚
‎-沒錯

474
00:24:55,245 --> 00:24:57,455
‎-這次能撐下去吧？
‎-可以

475
00:24:59,415 --> 00:25:00,750
‎潔姬

476
00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:02,001
‎親愛的，白色的嗎？

477
00:25:03,711 --> 00:25:04,879
‎妳確定？

478
00:25:04,963 --> 00:25:06,881
‎勞動節又還沒到

479
00:25:07,382 --> 00:25:10,510
‎而且如果有人覺得我們第一次結婚
‎會送比較好的禮物

480
00:25:11,344 --> 00:25:15,265
‎對了，我們在貴婦百貨登記了
‎我來挑

481
00:25:15,348 --> 00:25:17,767
‎-走了啦，麥可！
‎-吵死了！

482
00:25:26,734 --> 00:25:28,736
‎隨遇而安吧

483
00:25:28,820 --> 00:25:30,321
‎我要去市場了

484
00:25:30,405 --> 00:25:34,826
‎我要買經典玉米片、白玉米片
‎起司玉米片，有“片”的都要買

485
00:25:34,909 --> 00:25:36,536
‎老娘重出江湖

486
00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:44,294
‎他媽的

487
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,593
‎小朋友，地下室都讓你們用

488
00:25:51,676 --> 00:25:54,387
‎不准關燈，不准脫衣服，不准跳舞

489
00:25:55,638 --> 00:25:58,182
‎不准跳舞
‎你好像《渾身是勁》裡的那個人

490
00:26:00,476 --> 00:26:01,519
‎聽到囉，不准跳舞

491
00:26:02,687 --> 00:26:06,524
‎這間地下室塞得進三間你家的地下室

492
00:26:07,442 --> 00:26:09,569
‎小妮，聽起來工程浩大

493
00:26:09,652 --> 00:26:11,362
‎直接用這間吧

494
00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:15,116
‎這些舊家具很棒吧？

495
00:26:15,199 --> 00:26:18,620
‎對，只缺抱枕和針筒

496
00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:22,999
‎佛曼太太，妳家真是溫馨又迷人

497
00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:26,336
‎好期待整個夏天都在這裡辦事

498
00:26:28,296 --> 00:26:29,964
‎你腦子進水嗎？

499
00:26:32,383 --> 00:26:33,635
‎對了…好

500
00:26:33,718 --> 00:26:39,724
‎無聊的話
‎我找到你們老爸以前的舊唱片和遊戲

501
00:26:39,807 --> 00:26:43,061
‎還有他不希望我看見的幾本雜誌

502
00:26:43,144 --> 00:26:44,604
‎但我丟掉了

503
00:26:44,687 --> 00:26:46,272
‎全是紅髮妹

504
00:26:46,356 --> 00:26:47,732
‎顯然他有特定的喜好

505
00:26:48,983 --> 00:26:50,610
‎那你們開心玩吧

506
00:26:54,530 --> 00:26:57,867
‎天哪，這一定是零代任天堂

507
00:27:01,245 --> 00:27:02,497
‎真想不到

508
00:27:03,373 --> 00:27:05,249
‎妳奶奶給了我們好東西

509
00:27:05,833 --> 00:27:07,377
‎-不可能
‎-不騙你們

510
00:27:07,460 --> 00:27:08,670
‎真的

511
00:27:10,296 --> 00:27:11,130
‎是什麼？

512
00:27:11,839 --> 00:27:14,175
‎最棒的暑假

513
00:27:15,677 --> 00:27:16,886
‎算我一份

514
00:27:18,137 --> 00:27:19,639
‎但說真的，是什麼？

515
00:27:23,518 --> 00:27:24,560
‎一，二，三，四

516
00:27:24,644 --> 00:27:28,856
‎暑假就是要開心玩
‎想怎樣就怎樣，對吧？

517
00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:30,024
‎不對

518
00:27:30,108 --> 00:27:32,485
‎-知道我要什麼嗎？
‎-別說是傑伊

519
00:27:32,568 --> 00:27:33,569
‎傑伊

520
00:27:34,821 --> 00:27:37,990
‎-不准你來我家，滾出去
‎-不行！

521
00:27:38,574 --> 00:27:41,619
‎唐娜，我是琪蒂，妳女兒要嚐禁果了

522
00:27:41,703 --> 00:27:42,578
‎她人呢？

523
00:27:42,662 --> 00:27:45,123
‎等等，所以爸不是情場老手

524
00:27:45,790 --> 00:27:47,458
‎妳的存在是老天保佑

525
00:27:47,959 --> 00:27:49,836
‎罵我小孩的是哪一個？

526
00:27:49,919 --> 00:27:52,213
‎我不知道哪個是你小孩，但他們活該

527
00:27:52,296 --> 00:27:54,132
‎是葛雯和內特，謝謝你，我罵得好累

528
00:27:54,215 --> 00:27:56,008
‎我懷孕十個月才生下他

529
00:27:56,092 --> 00:27:58,678
‎醫生說這樣沒問題，但我不覺得

530
00:27:58,761 --> 00:28:02,306
‎你好像對我的唇蜜過敏

531
00:28:02,807 --> 00:28:03,725
‎真的嗎？

532
00:28:04,642 --> 00:28:08,146
‎-我要向妳奶奶出櫃
‎-我明天有面試

533
00:28:08,229 --> 00:28:11,482
‎-妳有推薦人嗎？
‎-主管都很喜歡我

534
00:28:11,566 --> 00:28:12,525
‎只是都死了

535
00:28:15,194 --> 00:28:17,280
‎我是同志！

536
00:28:17,780 --> 00:28:18,740
‎（卻斯費茲）

537
00:28:18,823 --> 00:28:19,991
‎我說：“今天愉快”

538
00:29:00,823 --> 00:29:02,325
‎字幕翻譯：易敬能