1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,466
[rock guitar riff playing]
2
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:09,926
This is so exciting.
3
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,303
Oh! Our first computer.
4
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:13,805
I feel like Captain Kirk.
5
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:15,348
Oh.
6
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:18,393
And, Ozzie, you are a doll
for helping us set it up.
7
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:20,520
I don't understand why we need that thing.
8
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,355
It is the future, Red.
9
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:25,358
One of us has to stay hip
and current with the times.
10
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,276
Oh, look.
11
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:29,529
It comes with a little foot pedal
like my sewing machine.
12
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,073
No, that's the mouse.
13
00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:33,408
Oh.
14
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:34,868
What does a mouse do?
15
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:36,619
It craps in your attic.
16
00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:38,955
Lighten up, Red.
17
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,791
America is going online.
Let's do our part.
18
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:45,920
Now we can read about
current events, sports, politics.
19
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,589
I do that already.
20
00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,674
It's called a newspaper.
21
00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:52,719
And you know what I love about this?
22
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:56,306
No wires connected to the government.
23
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,642
Is this thing connected to the government?
24
00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:02,604
Yes, the president can see you right now.
25
00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:04,189
I know you're kidding.
26
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,026
But just in case you're not...
27
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:11,446
Hi, Bill. Loved you on Arsenio.
28
00:01:12,363 --> 00:01:14,866
[funky rock music playing]
29
00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,951
Nate, why would you want a used hot tub?
30
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:19,496
It's gonna be contaminated
with other people's juices.
31
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:21,206
[chuckles] Yeah.
32
00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:23,249
Until we contaminate it with our juices.
33
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,126
That's so romantic.
34
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:29,172
It's free, Nik.
The only other free thing is a goat.
35
00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:31,549
I love you, but I am not sharing a goat.
36
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:33,718
What happens if we break up?
Who gets the goat?
37
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:38,098
As someone whose parents split up,
you don't wanna force the goat to choose.
38
00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:40,433
Nate, go get your disgusting
used hot tub tomorrow.
39
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:43,077
We have an appointment
to get our pictures done at Glamour Shots.
40
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:43,978
Oh, it's cool.
41
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,648
We can rebook Glamour Shots
for when my mustache comes in.
42
00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:49,192
Oh! So in, like, 1990-never.
43
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:53,154
Shut up, Gwen!
When I drink milk, you can almost see it.
44
00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:57,492
Look, Nik. This hot tub is
first come, first served.
45
00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,786
It can't wait.
That's how I lost that giant dog crate.
46
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,871
- You don't have a dog!
- But I might get a goat.
47
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,164
- I'm done.
- [scoffs]
48
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:07,168
You never want
to talk about our relationship.
49
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:10,755
Relationships, right? [chuckles]
50
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:11,839
Who needs 'em?
51
00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:14,300
So you're okay with us just being friends?
52
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,761
Pfft. Oh yeah, it's great. I love it.
53
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:18,888
It's so good.
54
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:22,100
It's so good and fun.
55
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:23,935
[breathing rapidly]
56
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:28,189
Your move worked.
You short-circuited his boy brain.
57
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,279
It's like he's glitching in a video game.
58
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:38,867
Okay, Nik, I'm not sitting here anymore,
listening to you not talk to me.
59
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:41,703
Jay, wanna help me pick up this hot tub?
60
00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:43,371
Sure. What?
61
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:45,874
Sure. What?
62
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,960
- Bro!
- Yeah, I'm coming.
63
00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:51,880
[rock music playing]
64
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,802
Taking a break
from old-people computer day?
65
00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:01,389
I tried to explain the virtual desktop
to your grandma.
66
00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,112
Then I had to explain the word "virtual."
67
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:06,728
Then somehow I had to explain a desk.
68
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:09,285
You really don't have to do this for her.
69
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,857
It's not for her. It's for me.
70
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:14,652
She's part of a bigger plan.
I want to come out to your grandmother.
71
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,030
Wow. Okay.
72
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:21,451
I... You seem so confident and self-assured.
I thought everyone knew.
73
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,494
I'm a gay kid
living in small-town Wisconsin.
74
00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:26,789
There are still parking spots
for horses at the courthouse.
75
00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:30,835
The fact that I'm out to anyone is huge.
76
00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:34,088
I can relate. In seventh grade,
it took me a really long time
77
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,925
to tell my parents
I wanted to switch from clarinet to oboe.
78
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:40,887
But I got there.
79
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:42,931
And you will too.
80
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,058
Sure.
81
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,602
That's the same.
82
00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:50,230
- [rock music playing]
- One, two, three, four!
83
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,315
♪ Hangin' out down the street ♪
84
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,275
♪ The same old thing we did last week ♪
85
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:58,571
♪ Not a thing to do but talk to you ♪
86
00:03:58,655 --> 00:03:59,864
♪ We're all all right! ♪
87
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,282
♪ We're all all right! ♪
88
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,910
[young woman] Hello, Wisconsin!
89
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,537
So why do you want to come out
to my grandmother?
90
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:09,249
She's step seven
in my 16-step coming out plan.
91
00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,114
I didn't know there were steps.
92
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,711
They're updated every year
at our conference in Palm Springs.
93
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:15,922
I'm kidding.
94
00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:17,507
[chuckles]
95
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,509
I knew that. I know things.
96
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:20,592
I have a gay friend.
97
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:22,720
Is it me?
98
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,056
Yes.
99
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:29,727
As I was saying,
I'm working my way towards the final step,
100
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,354
telling my parents.
101
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,023
I've just completed step six,
102
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,359
coming out to strangers
who I'll never see again.
103
00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:39,404
I'm sorry.
I think you have the wrong number.
104
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,406
Also... I'm gay.
105
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,034
Keep the change. I'm gay.
106
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:52,917
I'm gaaaaay!
107
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,168
[yelling fades]
108
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:56,879
I told him again when I bounced back up.
109
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,968
Next is step seven, coming out
to an adult who I see all the time.
110
00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:03,761
AKA, your grandmother.
111
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:04,846
[chuckles]
112
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,347
That's perfect. She loves you.
113
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,141
All women love me.
114
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:11,101
What a waste.
115
00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:14,647
But can you feel her out for me?
116
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,209
I just want to make sure
she's the right person for me to tell.
117
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,777
She'll be great.
No one's sweeter than my grandma.
118
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:23,031
My nana seems sweet
until you try to breastfeed in public.
119
00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:27,118
Then she'll spray perfume in your face
and call you a whore.
120
00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:31,456
[rock music playing]
121
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,791
[excited gasp] There it is!
122
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:36,336
[exclaiming]
123
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:39,547
This is even better than that time
we found that nude beach.
124
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:43,217
Until we saw
my baseball coach doing lunges.
125
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,888
That's what my life feels like right now.
126
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,932
A sandy, saggy sack.
127
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:51,516
Bro...
128
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:55,188
It is really bumming me out
seeing you this down about Leia.
129
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,565
You know what
always makes you feel better?
130
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,776
Vagina hands. Get in here.
131
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,655
[both laughing]
132
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:07,533
- It's so accurate.
- That's what it makes it fun!
133
00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:10,870
Well, now that it's gone, the pain's back.
134
00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:12,205
[door opens]
135
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:13,790
Hello, boys.
136
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,167
Hello, ma'am. We called about the hot tub.
137
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:17,335
Oh yes.
138
00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:18,961
I'll be glad to see it go.
139
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,546
It used to be my husband's,
140
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:23,508
but since he passed away,
I don't use it very much.
141
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:25,593
Oh. I'm so sorry. How did he die?
142
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:26,676
He drowned.
143
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:31,182
- Still want the hot tub?
- [whispers] Jay.
144
00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:32,892
Oh, he drowned in a lake.
145
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:33,975
Yes!
146
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,396
I mean, I am so sorry for your loss.
147
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:39,482
I just... really did not want
a haunted hot tub.
148
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:41,109
We'll take it.
149
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,694
Now, hold on.
Don't you want to try it out first?
150
00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:50,493
Is it hot enough for you, boys?
151
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:51,744
Yes, ma'am.
152
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,162
Whose foot is that?
153
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,540
Oh, I love this game.
154
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:04,924
[funky rock music playing]
155
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:06,092
[strains]
156
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,636
[loud computer chime]
157
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,432
Kitty, come in here.
158
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:15,517
What do you need?
159
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:17,686
It woke up.
160
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,731
Well, that is so cute.
161
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:24,152
I put it to sleep about an hour ago.
It must be hungry.
162
00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:26,904
Oh. [chuckles]
163
00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:29,198
Now it's dead.
164
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:31,826
That's okay.
165
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,954
Took him a while to warm up to Eric too.
166
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,666
Hey, Grandma, can I run something by you?
167
00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:41,335
It's kind of sensitive and personal.
168
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,545
Is it teenager stuff?
169
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,464
[gasps] I've missed this.
170
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:46,924
Yeah, it's about my friend.
171
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:49,093
Got it. Your friend. Right.
172
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,971
I've had a lot of these "friend" talks
with Eric.
173
00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:55,641
His "friend" wet the bed.
174
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,811
His "friend" had a crush on a teacher.
175
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:02,398
His "friend" got a rubber band
stuck on his privates.
176
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,904
Anyway, um...
177
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:12,700
It's about something that might be
outside of your comfort zone.
178
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:15,536
Is it drugs?
Because you should tell your friend,
179
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,872
it starts with a beer,
and before you know it,
180
00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:20,416
you're sleeping in the park
hooked on the crank.
181
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:22,877
It's not drugs.
182
00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:27,298
I can't really say,
but it's... it's a big deal.
183
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:32,887
And it's scary because,
once you do it, there's no going back.
184
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:35,389
Got it. Okay.
185
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:39,894
Well, you tell your friend
that I am ready to talk whenever they are.
186
00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,647
Thanks, Grandma. You're the coolest.
187
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:46,651
That's me. Cool as a cucumber.
188
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:51,489
Donna, it's Kitty!
Your daughter is about to have sex!
189
00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:54,367
[rock music playing]
190
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:02,375
This is weird.
You and I never hang out by ourselves.
191
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:03,543
Why is that?
192
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:04,961
It's nothing bad.
193
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:07,046
I just prefer other people.
194
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:08,965
Me too.
195
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,842
[scoffs] But your brother
ditched me for that hot tub.
196
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,970
Just be happy he's gonna take a bath.
197
00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:17,515
[groans] I'm so bored.
198
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:20,017
Should we do something?
199
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:21,435
Together?
200
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:24,397
- I'm not that desperate.
- Yeah, no, me neither.
201
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:25,856
We have nothing in common.
202
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,986
Okay, we have
one thing in common. [chuckles]
203
00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:32,029
Totally!
204
00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:34,865
Wait, where's my bracelet?
205
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,493
I don't know. I haven't seen it.
206
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,911
[snickers, laughs]
207
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:41,956
You're fun!
208
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:44,625
You're fun!
209
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,378
Should we be Funyuns?
210
00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:50,256
Funyuns!
211
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,843
[rock music playing]
212
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,429
Just click right there,
and you'll be online.
213
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,973
I have butterflies in my stomach
214
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:02,351
just like when I crack open
a new roll of Saran Wrap.
215
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:06,105
If you start that off wrong,
the next six months are ruined.
216
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,190
Please, just click it.
217
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:16,198
[dial-up modem screeching]
218
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:21,454
Oh, okay, the internet is just
two demons yelling at each other.
219
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,874
- That's actually pretty accurate.
- Yeah.
220
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:29,378
So, before we continue, there is something
I wanted to talk to you about.
221
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:30,921
It's, uh...
222
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,090
Are you okay?
223
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,135
You seem nervous?
Did you clog up the toilet?
224
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:38,763
It's not your fault. We have old pipes.
225
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:43,392
[sighs] It's actually about me,
and how I'm different from...
226
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:44,894
Where is she?
227
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:47,438
Leia, it's Mom! Get down here!
228
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:49,689
Leia!
229
00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:53,611
How was your drive?
230
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:57,740
There was a big traffic jam, so I did
about seven miles on the shoulder.
231
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,659
Mom, what are you doing here?
232
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,160
Is this the boy?
233
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:03,162
Is this your sex boy?
234
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:06,666
What?
235
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,877
I told your mom
about your friend and her urges.
236
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:14,006
I got you condoms, jellies, sponges,
237
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,675
and the ugliest underwear I could find.
238
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:21,681
- Valium?
- Those are for me.
239
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,226
- Mom, I'm not having sex.
- [sighs]
240
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:30,189
Okay, so then what is this secret
you were telling Grandma about?
241
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:35,361
Actually, this is about me
wanting to have sex.
242
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,029
With a guy. [chuckles]
243
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,197
In bed.
244
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,534
And, um... other places
where people do that to each other.
245
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,163
You got here just in time.
Her hormones are exploding.
246
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:50,000
Constantly drawing penises.
247
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:52,961
She's obsessed!
248
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:55,965
Shh!
249
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,718
[whispers] The president can hear you.
250
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:04,265
Okay, look.
251
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:07,601
I am proud of you for opening up to us
before you did anything.
252
00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:10,896
- Maybe it's time we have the sex talk.
- We had that talk.
253
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:13,149
That one was all nay-nays,
nah-nahs, and hoo-hoos.
254
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,859
This time, we're using the real words.
255
00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:19,363
[hip-hop beat playing]
256
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:20,823
Hey, Funyun.
257
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,367
- Yeah, Funyun?
- What do you want to do now?
258
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:27,204
Well, there's something
I normally do with Nate,
259
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:30,166
but I think it'd be
so much more fun with you.
260
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:34,712
["Here Comes the Hot Stepper" playing]
261
00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:36,715
- ♪ Here comes the hot stepper ♪
- ♪ Murderer ♪
262
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:39,049
- [shutter clicking]
- ♪ I'm the lyrical gangster ♪
263
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,844
- ♪ Pick up the crew in de area ♪
- ♪ Murderer ♪
264
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:44,263
- ♪ Still love you like that ♪
- ♪ Murderer... ♪
265
00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:46,098
[shutter clicking]
266
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,189
[song fades out]
267
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,567
Okay, say it back to me, Leia.
268
00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,736
[sighs] I can't with the real words.
269
00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,988
Okay, whatever you're comfortable with.
270
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:05,367
Once a nay-nay's been in a nah-nah,
it can't go in a hoo-hoo.
271
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:08,829
Wait, which one was the nay-nay again?
You know what?
272
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:11,707
Don't put anything
into anything after it's been in anything.
273
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,794
Mom, we really didn't need to go this far.
274
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:18,047
There's a boy I like, and, yeah,
I've had some thoughts about him.
275
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:20,633
Like, he's got this one T-shirt
that rides up a little...
276
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,636
I'm jealous, Mom.
I want to be the T-shirt.
277
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,597
Oh, it's happening!
278
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,391
It's not happening.
I haven't even kissed him yet.
279
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:32,686
Okay, well, have you told him
how you feel?
280
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:33,770
Sort of.
281
00:13:34,271 --> 00:13:37,399
[sighs] It's kind of a big mess.
I'm so bad at this.
282
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,151
It runs in the family.
283
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:42,279
- You too?
- Me? No. Your dad.
284
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:48,410
But no matter how many times
he messed it all up,
285
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:52,331
I always found my way back to him...
because he has a good heart.
286
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:55,501
Just like you.
287
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,921
Wait, so Dad wasn't as smooth
as he says he was.
288
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,299
Let's just say, you're lucky you exist.
289
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:05,928
[rock music playing]
290
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,559
I just feel so lost, Marion.
291
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:13,435
I don't know who I am anymore.
292
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,689
I went through the same thing
when I lost Ralph.
293
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:18,566
My whole world turned upside down.
294
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,110
I'm so there, Mar.
295
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:24,321
But you can adapt. You move on.
296
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:26,574
Life has more surprises waiting for you.
297
00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:28,742
That's deep.
298
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:33,038
That's basically what I said
but without the dead husband stuff.
299
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,164
Grandma! No!
300
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,584
I told you to stop tricking guys
into your hot tub.
301
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:40,963
Wha... She didn't do that. We're just
trying it out before we take it.
302
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,591
Bro, I think that's the trick.
303
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:49,138
I've got a free king-size bed upstairs
if you'd like to try that out.
304
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,265
- It's free?
- Bro!
305
00:14:57,062 --> 00:15:00,065
- Sorry she wasted your time.
- No, it wasn't a waste.
306
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:02,943
I was getting down on myself,
and she gave me really good advice.
307
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:05,195
Yeah, she always helps out the cute ones.
308
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:08,240
I am reporting you to the Pennysaver.
309
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,909
Ooh!
310
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:13,829
[funky rock music playing]
311
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:18,083
Sorry your big moment
was hijacked by my very chill family.
312
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,294
It's fine.
313
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:22,880
On the way home, I told a crossing guard,
just to stay sharp.
314
00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:26,884
Okay. Brace yourself for some sap.
315
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:30,012
Thank you for covering for me yesterday.
316
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,473
You didn't have to do it,
but it really meant a lot.
317
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:34,516
Of course, Ozzie.
318
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:37,561
You kind of threw me under the bus
with the penis stuff,
319
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,480
but I'll chalk that up to nerves.
320
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:43,275
I panicked, and that's
what I was thinking about, so I said it.
321
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:44,485
[soft knocking]
322
00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:46,820
All right, Le-Le, I'm out of here.
323
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,907
It's gonna take me twice as long
if I can only use the real lanes.
324
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:52,242
- Okay, Mom. Love you.
- Love you.
325
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,746
- Nice to meet you, Ozzie.
- You too.
326
00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:57,748
I can see where Leia gets her good looks.
327
00:15:57,831 --> 00:15:59,833
Oh! You're a little charmer.
328
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,211
You sure you aren't gonna have sex?
329
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,046
- Positive.
- A million percent.
330
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:09,051
Just hit enter
and you'll be signed in to your email.
331
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,470
[rhythmic mouth noises]
332
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,782
- [male voice] You've got mail.
- Oh my God, I've got mail.
333
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,724
Oh! This is thrilling.
334
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,352
I mean, I've had kids,
but this is right up there.
335
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:20,813
Actually, that's from me.
336
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:24,525
There's something I've been trying
to tell you, so go ahead and open it.
337
00:16:24,608 --> 00:16:25,693
Oh?
338
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:26,986
Okay.
339
00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:30,322
Double-click on the little mailbox.
340
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,367
Oh dear.
341
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:35,285
Where did it go?
342
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:36,996
It's right there.
343
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,081
Oh.
344
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,364
- Click-click!
- [mouse clicks]
345
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,501
No. The little box in the corner.
346
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:44,896
- The whole thing is gone.
- It's behind there.
347
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,338
- Behind where?
- That window.
348
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,590
[loud computer chime]
349
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:49,675
[Ozzie huffs]
350
00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:52,845
Restarting. So...
351
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,473
We have about five minutes.
352
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:58,850
[sighs]
353
00:16:58,892 --> 00:16:59,893
Forget it.
354
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,270
Mrs. Forman.
355
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,105
I'm gay.
356
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,985
I've known for a while now,
and I wanted you to know.
357
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:10,738
I even have a boyfriend,
Etienne, who lives in Canada.
358
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,241
Well, I don't know how I feel about this.
359
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:15,992
Oh.
360
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:19,371
My friend Sharon married a Canadian man,
361
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:22,041
and he made off with her Toyota wagon.
362
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:26,086
And her cat's ashes were in there,
and she is a mess.
363
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,632
But... you're okay with me being gay?
364
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,092
Well, of course I am.
365
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:36,430
Oh, sweet boy, get in here.
366
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:42,227
You just made me feel really special.
367
00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:44,396
[chuckles softly]
368
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,193
[inhales, exhales sharply]
369
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,696
Is that why you helped me
with the computer?
370
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,532
No, I did it because I loved it.
371
00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,327
[laughs giddily]
372
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,040
[rock music playing]
373
00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:09,755
So... yesterday, huh?
374
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:11,882
Very unexpected.
375
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,175
Did we...?
376
00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:16,011
Have fun? Yeah.
377
00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:17,554
We did.
378
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,180
Twice.
379
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:22,710
- Let's never talk about this again.
- Secret dies with me.
380
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:25,729
Sit here, Nik.
381
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:28,023
I'm gonna take this lettuce
out to my goat.
382
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:29,817
You did not.
383
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,860
It was free, Nik!
384
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,822
You're a goat's mommy now.
385
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:36,824
Okay, that's cute.
386
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:41,453
So, step seven is in the books.
What's next?
387
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:42,746
- I steal a car.
- Really?
388
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,540
No, I tell my pediatrician.
389
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:49,002
Oh God. Jay just walked in.
390
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:50,796
He's wearing that tiny T-shirt.
391
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,550
Oh my God. He's even hotter
when he's tired.
392
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,761
How long do I keep
this friend thing going?
393
00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,347
I don't know. It was your crazy-ass idea.
394
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,183
Just go talk to him.
395
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,434
What am I supposed to do?
396
00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:07,604
Profess my love to him in front of
the ketchup pump? That's so scary.
397
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:10,608
I just came out to your grandma.
You can tell a guy who knows you like him
398
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:11,691
that you like him.
399
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:17,197
- Is that Nikki's scrunchie?
- What?!
400
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:18,866
No. [nervous chuckle]
401
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:20,575
Hey.
402
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,119
Hey.
403
00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:25,664
Um, so you know how the other night
I said I just wanted to be friends?
404
00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:28,125
Yeah. That was a surprise,
and not the fun kind.
405
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,962
Well, then you're gonna like
what I'm about to say.
406
00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:33,797
Sorry. It took me forever to park.
407
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,091
Your friend is chasing a goat
around the parking lot
408
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,384
while some girl yells at him.
409
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:40,971
At least we'll have a story
for our first date.
410
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,017
Oh, Serena, this is my friend Leia.
411
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,185
Howdy, friend!
412
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:52,107
I was, uh, just getting some ketchup
from the big ol' pump.
413
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:58,363
Red?
414
00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:02,367
What are you doing?
415
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:04,577
Uh...
416
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,163
Nothing. Go back to bed.
417
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,249
Red Forman, move your hands.
418
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:10,918
[Red groans]
419
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:17,007
Is that Raquel Welch?
420
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,722
[gasps] It is!
421
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:26,808
Red Forman.
422
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:32,022
I am so happy
you're using the new computer!
423
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,609
Now, find me one of Kirk Douglas.
424
00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:37,611
[Red clears throat]
425
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:40,113
- In his gladiator outfit.
- Oh... Okay...
426
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:42,616
Have at it.
427
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:45,494
[clicking mouse]
428
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:46,662
[loud computer chime]
429
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:47,871
Restarting.
430
00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:53,085
[rock music playing]