PARTY HUBBUB
More Dom Perignon for my friends!
HE LAUGHS
Evening, boys.
HE SIGHS
PHONE BLEEPS
VOICEMAIL: 'Vous avez trois nouveaux messages.'
JUDITH: 'Hello, darling, it's me. Is everything all right?
'It's 8.30pm, you're a little late.
'I need your opinion on Vernon's photoshoot.
'Do hurry home, my love.'
BLEEP
'I am getting very worried, Jeremy.
'Could you please just send me a message
'to let me know that you are alive?'
BLEEP
'Hello, darling. Well, thank you VERY much.
'As far as I'm concerned,
'you needn't even think about coming home tonight.
'You can jolly well sleep on the boat for all I care.'
DIALLING TONE
I have a very understanding wife (!)
HE CLEARS THROAT
HE CRIES OUT
SEAGULLS CALLING
HE GROANS
Time to face the music, old son.
HE CRIES OUT
Caron?
I need your help.
# Do you remember the first time
# That my eyes set on you?
# Your smile came from nowhere
# For sometime never or sometime soon
# The road is a long one
# I was only passing through
# I was only passing through. #
DISTANT CHURCH BELLS RING
I can't believe we're about to open our own shop!
And look at all our beautiful stock!
My wife loved Murano glass.
I know it all ended in tears,
but we did have seven wonderful years together.
Have you thought any more about visiting Simone in prison?
I've thought of little else in the past six months
and now she's coming out in a few weeks.
But the fraud, it was not just with the paintings.
How do I know if anything was real?
Work will be a good distraction.
Back in my old shop, it was amazing how the most banal of objects
could bring back the hardest of memories.
Tell me about it.
I was cleaning the cottage out one day
and I started welling up over a soap dish.
Here's to our new shop. Our new shop!
Ooh, I think I've got a few of those little madeleine cakes in the back.
IN FRENCH
Yeah, just in the... in the corner there.
Oh, lovely.
RAPID BLEEPING
Hello?
Hello, Jean, it's Judith. I'm sorry to bother you on your opening day.
I just wondered if you had seen Jeremy. I seem to have lost him!
Oh, I'm sorry, Judith, I haven't.
Oh, OK.
Thank you. Bye-bye.
Hello, Vernon, how wonderful to see you.
I thought the photocall was tomorrow?
It's good to see you.
I'm just having a little scan round the old place to plan the image.
You don't mind, do you? No, no, not at all.
Tres bien, tres bien. Where's Jeremy, by the way?
Business meeting.
Oh.
Ooh, hello, Rose, how are you?
Excuse me for a moment.
Of course.
We have a problem.
Where's Bandile?
I've no idea.
Looks like you're going to have to bake the cakes yourself.
Hey, do you know they've found this super-Earth
called HD 219134 b?
That's catchy.
Shimmers red to blue, like rubies and sapphires,
cos of the aluminium oxides.
Ooh. Rubies and sapphires are the same stone, you know?
Eh?
They both have identical chemical properties, apart from the colour.
In fact, sapphires come in a rainbow of colours,
except red.
They leave that for the ruby.
Oh, very good.
Quite the expert on rubies now, aren't you?
Well, I've got 350,000 reasons to be.
Is that how much you got for that ring? I didn't want to ask.
Yeah, it is.
So, what would you have done if it had been worth, like, millions?
I'd... I'd have probably still come back here.
Really?
Definitely.
Quite the project, that.
I picked it up in a car boot sale in Didsbury for a fiver.
Hm. Worth much now?
Er, well, late 18th century,
about two grand.
For a footstool?! SHE LAUGHS
Where's Jeremy and Judith?
They're normally first to arrive
when there's free food and booze involved.
DOOR OPENS
I just saw Caron taking Jeremy into the police station.
Poor fella looked awful rough. What?
Was he handcuffed?
Come on, he probably just had a few too many last night, that's all.
Ah, no, it looked more dramatic than that.
I have a radar for drama.
You're not wrong there.
Judith, um, I don't know how to put this,
but I've just been told
that Jeremy's been taken into the police station.
My mother used to make cassoulet for hangovers, when we were younger.
My Judith has a wonderful recipe for cassoulet.
Our old friend Vernon gave it to us.
He's at the chateau this week, funnily enough, doing a photoshoot.
Can you tell me everything you remember about last night?
Well, me and the boys had been out celebrating all day,
celebrating Monty's birthday.
Jake had suggested fancy dress,
but under the circumstances, thank God we didn't.
It seems I checked my voicemail at 9.45,
which would've been just before I got back to the boat.
The poor woman couldn't have been
lying in front of the cabin door when I arrived,
otherwise I wouldn't have been able to get in!
HE SIGHS
I can't remember a thing.
I am sure there will be enough witnesses
to verify that you were not in any condition to murder anyone.
How did she get on my boat?
From the top of the cliff.
The fall must have killed her.
Horrific!
Did she fall or was she pushed?
That is for me to find out, Jeremy.
Well, that is everything for now.
Can I give you a lift home?
No! Thank you, Caron, no, I just don't know how Judith would react
to me coming home in a police car.
Ahh.
Thanks again, old chap.
Listen, if there's anything I can do, just you let me know.
If you could just keep this to yourself.
Yeah, that goes without saying, mate.
Oh, no, no, no. On the house.
Oh!
Thank you, Dom.
It's all right, mate, it's only a fiver.
Once more unto the breach, dear friends.
Once more.
The humiliation of Jean calling,
saying you had been escorted to the police station!
I bet the whole square saw you.
Darling, listen to me. None of that matters.
Something horrendous has happened.
I woke up on Rita this morning,
there was a dead woman on the deck of the boat.
God, Jeremy, how awful!
Hang on.
You woke up next to a woman?
A dead woman.
I wasn't next to her.
Well, that's even worse. How did you not know her name?
Well, how would I know her name? Please, sweetheart!
A dead woman on our boat, how awful.
I went out drinking with the boys, I got drunk,
I woke up with her on the deck of the boat.
Caron said she fell off a cliff!
That's horrific.
You did say you didn't want me to come home, so...
What?
You wake up next to a dead woman and it's my fault now?
No, no, no, of course not. No, no.
I didn't wake up next to her, I told you. Please, darling, I need you.
Make sure he only talks about this book.
These are new recipes from new places. Understand?
Ah, Judith! The door outside will need repainting.
It doesn't match the cover of the book.
Judith?
Darling? Sorry, Rose.
Hello. Yes.
What did you say?
Do you know anyone who can paint the back door?
We need it to match the cover of the book.
Yes, yes, of course. I know someone.
Thank you.
Oh, I will. I know exactly where it's going.
I never thought I'd get rid of that.
You're getting more fluent every day, Jean White.
SHE SPEAKS FRENCH VERY QUICKLY
Er, it's a little bit fast, love. PHONE BLEEPS
It is superb.
It's really good that you're trying.
Some people live here for 20 years, they never learn a word!
Hey, talk of the devil.
Judith just asked if I can paint a door urgently.
I mean, who needs a door painting urgently?
I thought you'd just come back from the chateau?
Oh, that reminds me,
why was Jeremy in the police station?
Oh, something to do with parking permits.
I'll pop up just in case. PHONE BLEEPS
Oof, Judith is panicking.
Apparently, they've got a big photoshoot there tomorrow.
Vernon Bradley is using the chateau as a backdrop.
Vernon Bradley?
Yeah, he's got a house in the next village.
I love him.
Ohh!
See this, right?
This is his recipe for lemon drizzle cake.
It saved my life.
That relic proper makes me laugh. Does it?
Yeah, it's a collector's item. Hey, you could pop it in the window!
Somebody might buy it. Oh, cheek!
Hey, Jean, have you heard of these fancy new mobile phone things
people are talking about? All the rage.
What? You can take a phone outside of a house?
Yes! Magic.
Well, can I come or what? Yeah, yeah, course you can.
Do you mind? I absolutely love him.
Of course I don't mind.
Come on then.
A bientot.
PHONE CHIMES
'KNOCK AT DOOR'
Just give it the one coat.
Are you all right, Judith?
I'm not sure.
Jean, I need to talk to you.
I think that Jeremy has murdered his mistress.
A dead woman's body was found on Rita.
What?!
Who's Rita?
Our cabin cruiser.
Jeremy woke up on our boat with a dead body of a woman next to him.
Oh, that's awful.
Next to him?
Well, he said she was found on the deck, but it's the same thing.
Says he can't remember anything.
I don't know what to do. What do I do? What do I do?
Now, listen.
I tell you what, do you want me to have a word with Caron
and see if he's got any more information?
Would you?
Oh, that would be wonderful.
Course I will.
I've sent Jeremy to the summerhouse. I can't bear to look at him.
Oh.
Judith, I can't promise you much,
but if I find out anything, I'll tell you straight away.
Thank you.
Has she told you what needs to be done?
It's imperative that it's exactly the same colour. Comprenez vous?
Can I have a moment, my darling?
Mr Bradley.
Your lemon drizzle saved my life.
Now, you are too kind.
Thank you.
Could I sign a copy of my new book for you?
That would be amazing, thank you.
Um...
It's to Jean. Jean.
I'll go and make a start then. Shouldn't take long.
Do you want me to wait for you, give you a lift back?
Er, thanks, Dom, I'll make my own way back.
Mm-hm.
For you, Jean.
Now, if you'll excuse us.
KNOCK AT DOOR
JEAN: Hello.
Jean, good to see you.
I wondered if you had time for a little chat?
Of course. Please take a seat.
I wanted to ask, are there any leads
on the body of the woman found on Jeremy's boat?
No disrespect, Jean, but, when I asked if you would be my consultant,
it did not mean that I was making you an honorary detective.
I know that.
I just wanted to get the story straight for Judith.
You and Judith are suddenly best friends?
The poor woman thinks that her husband murdered his mistress.
Yeah, I know, but I thought at least you would...
Er...
Forgive me, Jean.
I'm a little run down at the moment.
I've not been sleeping well since Sara...
Of course.
Er...
HE CLEARS THROAT
We have no idea who the woman is.
There are no fingerprints on file
and she had no identification with her.
Er, we still haven't established the cause of death.
We will know more after the postmortem.
She had...
..this Afro comb on her.
Mm.
Can... Can I look?
Ooh, that's unusual.
Victorian, sterling silver. Mm.
Can I take a picture of this?
D'accord.
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
Right, well,
thanks anyway.
You've clearly had a long day,
so I'll, um, I'll leave you to it.
I am sorry not to be able to help any further, Jean.
A dead body of a woman was found on the deck of Jeremy's boat.
Nobody has a clue who she is.
Oh, that's awful.
How do you know all this?
I have my sources.
But I'm just saying,
it's always the most unlikely of people
who turn out to be the murderers.
Are you saying Jeremy's a murderer?
I... I'm not saying anything.
Jeremy found the body of that poor woman on his boat.
He is traumatised.
Nobody knows who she is and Jeremy is not a suspect.
Those are the facts - can we try and stick to them, please?
I was just... I was just... Now.
When you're ready, I'll have a beer
and Jean'll have a... What will you have?
A Sauvignon Blanc, please. A Sauvignon Blanc, on that table.
Look, I know I should've told you, but I was sworn to secrecy.
SHE SIGHS OK, Dom,
but you know you can tell me anything.
I know. You should've seen him this morning, Jean.
He was an absolute mess.
Said he couldn't get the vision of that woman out of his head.
He's really been through it, poor bloke.
Judith wasn't too chipper either, you know.
I know, I know.
Right.
What've we got?
Um...
OK.
So, we've got a dead woman that's fallen or been thrown off a cliff.
There's no identification and the only thing that was found on her
was a Victorian comb in her pocket.
A what? A Victorian comb?
Er, yeah.
There you go. This is it.
OK.
Hey.
Sorry about that, Dom.
I was saying the same as you, just all gossip.
It's all right, don't worry.
Are you gonna join us? No, I can't.
WHISPERS: Douglas is getting his ears syringed.
What are you whispering for?
Well, he doesn't like it, does he?
JEAN LAUGHS
Right, go on then, when are you gonna cook me something out of this?
Cook, for you?
Ah, you see, the last time I cooked for you,
you didn't actually turn up.
Oh, now, that's a low blow.
I had all the candles lit.
All right, all right!
You can't make me feel any worse than I did.
Well, still do!
I'm only joking.
I tell you what, why don't I cook for you tonight?
So soon?
Well, no time for you to be waylaid by your flaky ex-missus, is there?
Ouch. All right, yeah, I'm on.
I'll see you at eight.
Or will ya?
Don't even joke about it.
No, I'll be in the caravan site, 7.30, waiting.
SHE LAUGHS
THEY LAUGH
Hey, I'll tell you who that Rose reminds me of -
Taz.
Who? Who?!
What do you mean, "who"? Taz the Tasmanian Devil.
IMITATES TAZ
Remember? One of Looney Tunes' finest.
Course I know who he is. I just wanted to see you do the impression!
Honestly, though, she makes Judith look positively relaxed.
SHE LAUGHS
I'll tell you something else as well. That cake was rubbish.
Vernon's cake?
Don't be daft.
He's one of the finest patisserie chefs in the world.
Oh, Vernon, why don't you just marry him?
Shut it! I'm telling ya!
I nicked a slice of one of those cakes and it was absolutely minging.
He's never done anything minging.
You're obviously talking rubbish.
What did this cake look like again, then?
There you go. That's the one.
It looked like that, but tasted like rubber.
I don't believe it. I'm telling ya, it was hanging.
No.
No, I don't mean that.
Look at that comb.
That's identical to the one that was found in the dead woman's pocket.
Remember, I showed you the photo? Yeah, yeah.
Of course!
I didn't realise.
It's a cake comb.
A cake comb?
Yeah, you use it for slicing and decorating cakes.
Oh, right, right.
But that doesn't make any sense.
What is a cake comb from a dead woman's pocket
doing in a Vernon Bradley cookery book?
Another drink?
Yeah, but you're gonna have to work for it.
Something doesn't add up here.
We're gonna have to go through every photo
and see if we can find that comb again.
I mean every page.
The lemon grove is vital. Absolutely vital to the shot.
Don't worry so much about the stone.
The house...
You're not gonna believe this.
Surprise me.
I spotted something in the new Vernon Bradley cookbook last night.
I had to show you. Who?
Vernon Bradley. He's a famous chef.
I met him at Judith's yesterday.
Right, and...?
The Victorian silver comb found in the dead woman's pocket,
and you thought it was an Afro comb?
Well, it's actually a cake comb. A what?
A baking utensil.
I spotted the exact same one in Vernon's new cookbook.
Jean, I know you are trying to help, but I'm very busy...
Caron, please!
I went through the rest of the books and it's in there as well.
Look.
It's the same.
What can this mean?
This does not make any sense.
I know, but...
I suppose we could cross-reference all of Vernon's contributors.
OK.
Merci.
Yeah.
So, the one constant name is...
Bandile Ndaba.
Mm-hm.
The only one mentioned in all the books.
Yeah.
She must be their domestic.
Pardon?
Oh, every celebrity chef has one.
They do the cooking for them.
So, the chefs are frauds?
Oh, no, not at all.
No, the chefs create the recipes and the domestics recreate them.
Expert help, if you like.
Mon Dieu!
What?
It's the same person.
So, the woman found dead on Jeremy's boat
is Vernon's domestic.
Bandile Ndaba.
I think we need to speak to Monsieur Bradley.
BUZZ OF CONVERSATION
Ladies and gentlemen, please can everyone pay attention?
Excuse me! What the hell do you think you're doing?
And you are?
I'm Rose Bradley.
What on earth's going on? Is everything all right, Officer?
It might be better if we go inside.
How long is this going to take?
Early lunch for all. Be back in half an hour.
Margarete, inside.
She was part of the family.
I just can't believe it.
Are you absolutely sure?
Unfortunately, yes.
I'm sorry to ask this - it is simply procedure -
but could you tell me where you were the night Bandile died?
Um...
I saw her that night.
I took a new recipe round for her to prepare at about 7.45
and I know it was that time because our cleaner had just left.
And she was OK when you left?
Absolutely.
Thank you, Monsieur Bradley.
And you, Mrs Bradley?
I met our agent, Brigitte, at seven, for dinner
and then returned around 11.30pm.
Thanks to both of you for your help.
What happens now?
I will keep in touch.
What did you get from that?
I don't know, but something's not sitting right with me.
Oui. I know what you mean.
Sorry, I just needed a tissue.
I'm Margarete, personal assistant to Mr and Mrs Bradley.
May I ask, where were you on Tuesday night?
Er... Take your time.
I, um, I left the Bradleys' home around 6.45, with Rose.
She was on her way to meet Brigitte and I went straight home,
to spend the rest of the evening with my family.
At around eight o'clock, I received a call from Bandile.
She was furious because Vernon had dropped off an unexpected recipe
for her to do, just as she was about to go out.
Why was she furious?
Mr and Mrs Bradley have a bad habit of taking their staff for granted.
Bandile said this would be the last time.
She was planning to leave? Yes.
And I think this time she was serious.
Thank you for your help.
If you think of anything else...
Thank you. I'd better go.
So, Vernon was at home,
Rose was with her agent and Margarete was with her family.
Well, somebody's lying. Mm.
Let's have a look at Bandile's home. Yeah.
CCTV.
That might prove useful.
I'll get John and Richard on to it.
PHONE BUZZES
Caron.
Um, I just need the bathroom.
EpiPens.
I knew it.
Caron... That was the coroner.
The swelling in her mouth is concurrent with...
Anaphylactic shock.
How did you know?
I tasted nuts in that frosting,
but there are nut allergy warnings on everything.
The new recipe.
Vernon Bradley said he personally delivered the ingredients at 7.45.
We need to talk to Vernon.
Monsieur Bradley, did you know that Bandile Ndaba had a nut allergy?
Yes, yes, I did.
We found Bandile when she was working as a sous chef
at our restaurant in Johannesburg.
We thought employing a domestic with the same condition
would keep me safe.
Did you know she was planning to leave your employment?
Bandile?
Why?
I'd be lost without her.
But you're one of Europe's greatest chefs.
I used to be.
Pardon?
Five years ago, I had a skiing accident.
Lost my sense of smell and taste.
It's not the best thing to happen to a chef.
Five years ago?
Yeah.
And Bandile...
..she was my lifeline.
Slowly, she became a better cook than me.
I put it to you, Monsieur Bradley,
that you knew Bandile was very serious about revealing the truth.
She threatened not only to leave,
but also to go to the press.
She had to be stopped
and you knew just how to do it.
With a nut allergy?
I could've killed myself in the process.
But you delivered the ingredients for the cakes?
Did you pack them yourself? Yes, yes, I did.
No-one else helped you? No.
Look, no, I swear.
After I delivered the ingredients, I went straight back home.
I did not leave the house for the rest of the night.
I never would've killed her.
DOOR OPENS
Monsieur Bradley, is this you, in the vicinity of Bandile's house,
on the night of the murder?
The accident, five years ago...
..gave me another little gift.
I'm also addicted to painkillers.
My dealer lives near to Bandile.
How very convenient.
Can anyone verify this?
Only my dealer.
Vernon Bradley, I am arresting you on suspicion of murder.
ROSE SIGHS
I mean, his lies were gonna catch up with him sooner or later.
Madame Rose, I don't think he meant for this to happen.
We know how devastated he was by the accident.
Ohh, poor Vernon (!)
Margarete!
Careful!
They're... They're signed!
They'll be collector's editions.
I feel a bit sorry for Vernon. Unbelievable.
Still swooning when he's been done for murder.
I'm not swooning.
I just said I feel a bit sorry for him, that's all.
Ahh, Dominic. Just the chap!
I've been summoned.
Listen, I got myself out of the doghouse
by getting Judith into the summerhouse.
First time we've come up for air since yesterday.
Lovely story. Mm.
Thank you, Jean. Your kind support yesterday was so very appreciated.
You and Dominic must come to dinner soon.
Thank you, that would be lovely.
Splendid!
Well, I'm glad it's all been sorted out.
Silly me!
BRAKES SQUEAL
GENERAL COMMOTION
There's no CCTV?
No.
Bane of Caron's life, apparently - they refuse CCTV cameras
because there is a police station in the square.
That is ridiculous.
Poor Margarete.
I didn't even get a look at the car.
I did.
It was white, quite sporty,
but it was going too fast to make out the registration.
Did you notice anything else about it?
Well...
..it's gonna sound a bit daft,
but there was this big sticker in the back window.
Well, go on, what did it look like?
I've probably got this completely wrong, but it was like...
two flowers, but like a kid had drawn it.
A kid?
Mm.
Will you, erm, draw them for me?
What?
The flowers.
Just draw what you saw.
Um...
Just sort of like that.
Was this what you saw?
Yeah, yeah, that's them.
La Tulipe de Paris.
Vernon had loads of them. What are they?
The sign of the most prestigious food award in Europe.
Oh, Rose.
What have you done?
SIREN BLARES
SIREN STOPS
I will ask you again. Why did you run over Margarete?
I don't know what you're talking about.
I think you do, Rose.
Margarete is lucky to be alive.
I wonder what she's going to say when she wakes up?
What was she about to tell me?
She was always so loyal to the stupid fool.
Vernon?
Yes.
He controlled all three of us, in a way.
Washed-up, drug-addled sham of a man.
You believe it?
Rose, what was Margarete going to tell us?
Bandile and I were in love.
Had been for about three years.
I kept promising her that I would get us out of this mess,
if she just kept quiet and kept working.
I promised her that, one day, we would be together,
with Vernon's money, which was rightly ours.
Vernon had started making noises about...
..trying to cook again.
But that's when I got the idea.
That night, he got together the ingredients
'to make his signature cakes.
'He insisted that tonight was the night
'he was going to bake like the master he was
'and serve them at the press launch.
'It was easy to drip in the nut oil.
'It would only take a tiny taste for him to go into shock.
'Margarete must've seen me.'
How very careless.
Not like me at all.
And he mustn't have been able to get hold of an EpiPen?
What? He'd have a job doing that.
I made damn sure he didn't have any.
But the lazy, worthless failure
couldn't even cook to make a batch of his own cakes.
'Vernon Bradley, the Tulipe de Paris chef,
'took them round to little Bandile.'
So, you killed your own lover by accident?
Yes.
You told us that Vernon lost his sense of taste and smell,
but how did Bandile not detect nut oil?
Beurre noisette.
Pardon?
Part of the method for making our sponge was to melt the butter
until it reached the beurre noisette stage, which...
..smells like roasted hazelnuts.
She was very used to this smell, so she would never have suspected.
I wish she had.
What happened next?
When I came home from dinner,
'I was a little drunk.
'I didn't see any cakes or ingredients anywhere
'and Vernon never cleared up his own mess.
'I realised what I'd done.
'She was dead.
'And I had killed her.
'I thought her body was in the sea.'
This is the bit I don't understand.
Why would you go through the pain of disposing of her body?
Bandile was completely alone in this world.
When we met her, she was an orphan from Johannesburg.
No family.
So, I thought, if...
..if she disappeared...
..no-one would know.
And no-one would miss her...
..apart from me.
And, of course, you would never be suspected.
I was all she had.
S'il vous plait!
SHE SIGHS
BUZZ OF CONVERSATION
Bonjour, Simone.
Fancy seeing you here!