1 00:00:01,041 --> 00:00:03,082 BYRON: Previously, on Black Cake... 2 00:00:03,166 --> 00:00:05,208 ELEANOR: London wasn't exactly safe, 3 00:00:05,333 --> 00:00:07,166 but it was the devil I knew. 4 00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:08,583 I could blend in. 5 00:00:09,083 --> 00:00:12,583 Until I realized that the longer you go without being seen, 6 00:00:13,291 --> 00:00:15,582 the smaller and smaller you become. 7 00:00:15,666 --> 00:00:18,249 Until you all but disappear. 8 00:00:18,333 --> 00:00:22,332 B and B... you have a sister. 9 00:00:22,416 --> 00:00:26,624 A secret I couldn't bring myself to even share with your father. 10 00:00:26,708 --> 00:00:30,416 Your mum, did she mention my birth father in the recordings? 11 00:00:31,541 --> 00:00:32,958 She was assaulted... 12 00:00:33,875 --> 00:00:36,958 by her employer around the time you were born. 13 00:00:39,083 --> 00:00:40,082 Assaulted? 14 00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:44,000 ELEANOR (on recording): Mabel, my first born. 15 00:00:45,041 --> 00:00:46,541 The moment I held you, 16 00:00:46,625 --> 00:00:49,791 I knew I wanted to be your mother. 17 00:00:52,250 --> 00:00:55,791 But by that point, it was too late. 18 00:00:55,875 --> 00:01:00,708 Because the truth is, I didn't choose to let you go. 19 00:01:03,958 --> 00:01:05,916 You were taken from me. 20 00:01:17,375 --> 00:01:19,583 ELEANOR: By the time I left Scotland, 21 00:01:20,625 --> 00:01:22,249 I was in a daze. 22 00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:24,833 (dramatic music playing) 23 00:01:29,541 --> 00:01:33,457 Trying so hard to block out everything that had happened. 24 00:01:38,708 --> 00:01:42,249 I told you before that I ran into Gibbs 25 00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:44,083 when I got back to London, 26 00:01:45,333 --> 00:01:47,291 but in truth, 27 00:01:49,166 --> 00:01:52,250 it was nearly a year before that happened. 28 00:01:54,291 --> 00:01:58,791 And those first few weeks back just seemed to slip away. 29 00:01:58,875 --> 00:02:01,291 (indistinct chatter) 30 00:02:02,041 --> 00:02:05,416 ELEANOR: Up until I started feeling sick. 31 00:02:08,875 --> 00:02:10,458 You don't have the flu, Ms. Douglas. 32 00:02:11,375 --> 00:02:12,874 Oh, that's a relief. 33 00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:15,082 The nausea, the fatigue, the dizziness, 34 00:02:15,166 --> 00:02:17,583 these are all classic symptoms of early pregnancy. 35 00:02:21,166 --> 00:02:23,708 I take it this isn't the news you were expecting. 36 00:02:25,958 --> 00:02:28,166 Do you remember when your last menstrual period began? 37 00:02:30,125 --> 00:02:31,125 I don't know. 38 00:02:32,083 --> 00:02:33,832 Two months ago maybe. 39 00:02:33,916 --> 00:02:35,916 And you didn't think to come in earlier for an exam? 40 00:02:39,375 --> 00:02:40,541 Do you know who the father is? 41 00:02:44,583 --> 00:02:46,666 I was working in Scotland 42 00:02:48,541 --> 00:02:50,416 when my supervisor took advantage. 43 00:02:50,916 --> 00:02:52,583 That's the only time it could've happened. 44 00:02:52,875 --> 00:02:54,166 DOCTOR: I see. 45 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:55,957 Well, young ladies these days 46 00:02:56,041 --> 00:02:57,957 are so liberated, it's no great wonder 47 00:02:58,041 --> 00:03:00,041 when these predicaments come about. 48 00:03:01,208 --> 00:03:02,999 Do you have any family nearby? 49 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,333 Anyone you can ask for help? 50 00:03:06,833 --> 00:03:08,333 No, I'm on my own. 51 00:03:09,375 --> 00:03:10,625 What about employment? 52 00:03:11,333 --> 00:03:13,583 Do you have a means of supporting a child? 53 00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:19,041 I haven't been able to find any work since returning to London. 54 00:03:21,416 --> 00:03:22,416 DOCTOR: Well, 55 00:03:23,708 --> 00:03:26,208 the good news is you have options nowadays. 56 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,249 If you choose to terminate, 57 00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:31,332 it's quite safe and perfectly lawful. 58 00:03:31,416 --> 00:03:33,541 I can provide you with a referral if you like. 59 00:03:39,208 --> 00:03:40,791 I'm sorry, I-I just need-- 60 00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,832 I need some time to think. 61 00:03:42,916 --> 00:03:43,874 DOCTOR: Of course. 62 00:03:43,958 --> 00:03:45,291 Although you mustn't wait too long. 63 00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:47,166 Time is of the essence. 64 00:03:47,708 --> 00:03:48,750 Now, 65 00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:50,541 good luck to you. 66 00:03:53,916 --> 00:03:54,957 (door closes) 67 00:03:57,708 --> 00:03:58,707 ELEANOR: Back then, 68 00:03:58,791 --> 00:04:00,832 there weren't many housing options 69 00:04:00,916 --> 00:04:02,250 for people of color, 70 00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:05,499 and I couldn't go back to the boarding house 71 00:04:05,583 --> 00:04:07,166 with the island girls. 72 00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:09,958 I was dead. 73 00:04:11,291 --> 00:04:14,957 So I found a place where I wouldn't be recognized. 74 00:04:15,041 --> 00:04:17,416 (indistinct chatter) 75 00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:20,791 (indistinct arguments in Mandarin) 76 00:04:20,875 --> 00:04:22,333 ELEANOR: I had no plan 77 00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:24,791 and no support. 78 00:04:25,375 --> 00:04:28,416 (indistinct arguments continue) 79 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,750 ELEANOR: I just kept wishing that this thing, 80 00:04:40,083 --> 00:04:41,583 this problem, 81 00:04:43,708 --> 00:04:46,750 would somehow... disappear. 82 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,166 And I had learned long before 83 00:04:55,625 --> 00:04:57,291 that I was on my own. 84 00:04:57,375 --> 00:05:00,250 (somber music playing) 85 00:05:09,875 --> 00:05:10,875 (knock on door) 86 00:05:28,583 --> 00:05:30,708 PEARL: I know you're still angry at me, Covey. 87 00:05:31,666 --> 00:05:32,750 Believe me, 88 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,875 baking a cake for a wedding, 89 00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:37,750 like this, 90 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:39,999 for you, 91 00:05:40,083 --> 00:05:41,666 it's not what I ever wanted. 92 00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:43,208 I know Pa made you do it. 93 00:05:45,666 --> 00:05:47,125 I just wanna be left alone. 94 00:05:49,458 --> 00:05:50,416 Here. 95 00:05:52,083 --> 00:05:53,583 I brought you something. 96 00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:57,125 From your mother. 97 00:05:59,291 --> 00:06:02,750 When she left the island, her plan was to come back for you. 98 00:06:04,375 --> 00:06:08,083 But she asked me to hold onto this just in case. 99 00:06:09,541 --> 00:06:11,541 So you'd always have a piece of her. 100 00:06:16,583 --> 00:06:18,249 A part of me was hoping maybe she'd 101 00:06:18,333 --> 00:06:20,625 (sharp inhale) show up today, 102 00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:24,916 somehow fix all of this. 103 00:06:26,125 --> 00:06:28,416 She would be here if she could. 104 00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:29,583 - I know-- - Stop. 105 00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,041 If she ever really cared about me, 106 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,041 she never would've left me in the first place. 107 00:06:34,125 --> 00:06:35,708 I don't want nothing from her. 108 00:06:36,125 --> 00:06:37,375 She's not gonna save me now. 109 00:06:38,416 --> 00:06:39,625 And neither is my pa. 110 00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:43,791 And neither are you. So please... just go away. 111 00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:04,750 (Covey sniffs) 112 00:07:09,125 --> 00:07:12,125 (somber music playing) 113 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:32,666 (distant indistinct chatter) 114 00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:38,791 ELEANOR: I needed to make a decision. 115 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,541 (distant banging) 116 00:07:41,458 --> 00:07:43,875 But I could hardly even hear myself think. 117 00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:55,166 And I found myself begging for some kind of answer 118 00:07:56,833 --> 00:07:57,833 or sign. 119 00:07:58,416 --> 00:08:01,416 (church bell tolling) 120 00:08:13,541 --> 00:08:16,124 (somber music playing) 121 00:08:16,208 --> 00:08:19,208 (church bell continues tolling) 122 00:08:55,666 --> 00:08:58,666 (breathing shakily) 123 00:09:08,208 --> 00:09:10,208 (crying) 124 00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:15,999 Hello, child. Can I help you? 125 00:09:16,083 --> 00:09:18,416 I'm-- I'm sorry. I-Is the church closed? 126 00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:19,666 No. No. 127 00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:22,833 You seem upset, dear. 128 00:09:23,541 --> 00:09:24,582 May I help? 129 00:09:24,666 --> 00:09:25,958 (Covey sniffling) 130 00:09:27,458 --> 00:09:28,708 (crying) 131 00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,833 That's okay. Let it all out. 132 00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:35,916 You have no idea how long it's been 133 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,375 since anyone has said anything genuinely kind to me, 134 00:09:40,041 --> 00:09:42,375 (sniffles) let alone someone from the island. 135 00:09:44,958 --> 00:09:46,250 Are you in trouble? 136 00:09:48,416 --> 00:09:50,000 Are you in the family way? 137 00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:56,083 Well, you've come to the right place. 138 00:09:57,125 --> 00:10:00,625 Now, when was the last time you had anything to eat? 139 00:10:04,541 --> 00:10:05,583 (sniffling) 140 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,707 NUN: Church runs this place especially for unwed mothers. 141 00:10:16,791 --> 00:10:19,250 So you can take comfort knowing that you're not alone. 142 00:10:21,208 --> 00:10:23,249 We offer room and board free of charge. 143 00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:24,957 And when the time has come, 144 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,707 we'll help to place the child into a loving home. 145 00:10:27,791 --> 00:10:30,374 So you won't have a thing to worry about. 146 00:10:30,458 --> 00:10:31,750 How does that sound to you? 147 00:10:32,333 --> 00:10:33,916 Better than I could've hoped for. 148 00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:36,207 Thank you. 149 00:10:36,291 --> 00:10:38,124 Normally, we would sit down 150 00:10:38,208 --> 00:10:39,582 for an intake first, 151 00:10:39,666 --> 00:10:40,999 but since it's late, 152 00:10:41,083 --> 00:10:42,791 we can save that for the morning. 153 00:10:43,666 --> 00:10:48,291 For now, I would like to introduce you to the other ladies. 154 00:10:48,375 --> 00:10:51,375 (indistinct chatter) 155 00:10:52,875 --> 00:10:53,999 Quiet, girls. 156 00:10:54,083 --> 00:10:56,208 Hello, everyone. This is Eleanor. 157 00:10:56,833 --> 00:10:58,749 She'll be joining us here for now, 158 00:10:58,833 --> 00:11:01,624 and I trust that you'll make her feel right at home. 159 00:11:01,708 --> 00:11:03,541 (all greeting Covey) 160 00:11:03,625 --> 00:11:05,583 Sister Madeline, may I help Eleanor get a plate? 161 00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:08,041 Yes, you may. Thank you, dear. 162 00:11:11,458 --> 00:11:12,541 I'm Irene. 163 00:11:14,125 --> 00:11:15,749 How do you feel about beef stew? 164 00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:18,000 (group chattering) 165 00:11:18,791 --> 00:11:22,207 Well, to be honest, I haven't been able to keep much down lately. 166 00:11:22,291 --> 00:11:25,416 The first few weeks, I could only eat cheese and Marmite sandwiches. 167 00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:27,374 In fact, I just about ate my weight 168 00:11:27,458 --> 00:11:29,041 in cheese and Marmite sandwiches. 169 00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:32,083 How about some plain broth with bread and butter? 170 00:11:32,541 --> 00:11:33,833 That ought to settle your stomach. 171 00:11:34,875 --> 00:11:36,083 Sounds perfect. 172 00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:38,708 So how far along are you? 173 00:11:40,791 --> 00:11:42,957 Almost three months, I think. 174 00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:44,374 I'm just a little further than you, 175 00:11:44,458 --> 00:11:46,208 so we'll be due around the same time. 176 00:11:46,875 --> 00:11:47,791 How fun. 177 00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,583 Are you still with the baby's father? 178 00:11:53,416 --> 00:11:54,500 Don't worry. 179 00:11:54,958 --> 00:11:56,916 Most of the girls here are in the same boat as you. 180 00:11:58,083 --> 00:11:59,500 I'm one of the lucky ones. 181 00:12:00,583 --> 00:12:02,249 My boyfriend, Tommy, and I have been going together 182 00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:03,707 for almost two years now. 183 00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,374 And he knows why you're here? 184 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:06,458 Oh. 185 00:12:07,166 --> 00:12:08,208 Yes. 186 00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:11,541 Although he never wanted me to come in the first place. 187 00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:14,250 COVEY: What do you mean? Why not? 188 00:12:15,375 --> 00:12:17,833 Sorry. I don't mean to pry. 189 00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:20,833 You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. 190 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:25,166 But you should know, I'm very good at keeping secrets. 191 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,291 My parents have never approved of Tommy. 192 00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,166 They forced me to come here. 193 00:12:35,916 --> 00:12:38,208 They've been telling everyone I'm studying in Brussels. 194 00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:41,833 But... me and Tommy have a plan. 195 00:12:43,041 --> 00:12:44,916 He's going to sneak me out of here when the baby comes. 196 00:12:45,916 --> 00:12:47,166 We're getting married, 197 00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:48,458 and we're keeping Henry. 198 00:12:49,791 --> 00:12:51,916 He's going to be a boy. I just know it. 199 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,750 Tommy wants to name him after his dad. 200 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,916 That's quite a plan. 201 00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:00,250 Where will you go? 202 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,207 Do you have a place to live? 203 00:13:02,291 --> 00:13:03,291 Not yet. 204 00:13:03,375 --> 00:13:06,166 But Tommy's got a good job at a factory, and he's saving up. 205 00:13:07,208 --> 00:13:09,125 (slight chuckle) You think I'm mad, don't you? 206 00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:11,250 No, not at all. 207 00:13:13,416 --> 00:13:15,333 I just think you must really want to be a mom. 208 00:13:17,958 --> 00:13:19,083 What about you? 209 00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:21,208 No. 210 00:13:21,916 --> 00:13:23,207 Not now. 211 00:13:23,291 --> 00:13:24,416 Maybe not ever. 212 00:13:24,916 --> 00:13:27,666 IRENE: Well, you're in good company at any rate. 213 00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:30,083 I'm glad you found your way here, Eleanor. 214 00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:35,416 So did you have everything you needed 215 00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:37,041 in the dormitory last night? 216 00:13:37,125 --> 00:13:38,916 Yes. Thank you. 217 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,957 It was comfortable and quiet. 218 00:13:41,041 --> 00:13:43,750 Good. I'm glad that you're settling in. 219 00:13:44,333 --> 00:13:46,374 Now, a few ground rules. 220 00:13:46,458 --> 00:13:47,916 As I told you before, 221 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,957 there is no cost for you to stay here. 222 00:13:50,041 --> 00:13:51,374 But to cover expenses, 223 00:13:51,458 --> 00:13:53,207 all our girls are expected to 224 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,457 help with the cooking and the cleaning. 225 00:13:55,541 --> 00:13:56,958 Are you prepared to do so? 226 00:13:58,041 --> 00:13:58,916 Of course. 227 00:13:59,583 --> 00:14:01,416 I'm not afraid of a little hard work. 228 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,666 Good. Glad to hear it. 229 00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:07,541 Now, I'll have you complete these forms on your own. 230 00:14:08,666 --> 00:14:10,916 Date of birth, etcetera. 231 00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:15,416 And may I just ask, 232 00:14:15,916 --> 00:14:18,208 what is the race of the baby's father? 233 00:14:19,791 --> 00:14:20,708 Well, 234 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:22,916 he's Scottish. 235 00:14:23,833 --> 00:14:26,708 (solemn music playing) 236 00:14:29,458 --> 00:14:31,374 Alright now, one last thing. 237 00:14:31,458 --> 00:14:32,707 By signing this, 238 00:14:32,791 --> 00:14:36,958 you are allowing the church to find a good home for the child 239 00:14:37,458 --> 00:14:38,750 with a stable family. 240 00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:40,957 Do you understand, Eleanor? 241 00:14:41,041 --> 00:14:42,041 Yes. 242 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:44,916 I just want to get through all this 243 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,083 and move forward with my life. 244 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,916 You're making the right decision 245 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,582 for yourself 246 00:14:51,666 --> 00:14:52,874 and for your child. 247 00:14:58,625 --> 00:15:00,083 ELEANOR: From that moment on, 248 00:15:00,708 --> 00:15:02,250 my days were full, 249 00:15:05,375 --> 00:15:07,333 from dawn until dark. 250 00:15:08,458 --> 00:15:09,833 The work was hard. 251 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,332 But it was also a welcome escape. 252 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,041 And so the months slipped by, 253 00:15:30,166 --> 00:15:31,332 mercifully. 254 00:15:39,791 --> 00:15:44,457 And I did my best not to think about what was happening inside my body. 255 00:15:44,541 --> 00:15:46,458 Baby's heartbeat sounds perfect. 256 00:15:47,291 --> 00:15:48,874 Would you like to hear it? 257 00:15:48,958 --> 00:15:49,958 No, thank you. 258 00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:54,499 MIDWIFE: Have you been feeling a lot of kicks lately? 259 00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:57,250 They usually start to get pretty active around now. 260 00:15:57,958 --> 00:15:59,041 I don't know. 261 00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:00,625 I haven't noticed. 262 00:16:01,416 --> 00:16:04,291 The little one should be about the size of a head of lettuce by now, 263 00:16:04,375 --> 00:16:06,916 and they love to roll around doing somersaults-- 264 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,291 Please, I'd really rather not know. Thank you. 265 00:16:09,958 --> 00:16:11,291 If it's all the same to you. 266 00:16:13,375 --> 00:16:15,291 Alright. As you like. 267 00:16:17,166 --> 00:16:18,750 Let's get you onto the scales. 268 00:16:28,916 --> 00:16:29,916 Mm. 269 00:16:34,208 --> 00:16:36,749 You haven't gained enough since your last appointment. 270 00:16:36,833 --> 00:16:38,333 I can't keep anything down. 271 00:16:38,958 --> 00:16:41,999 It's late in your pregnancy to still be having morning sickness, 272 00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:45,541 though some women just never feel well until the baby comes. 273 00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:48,291 Did your mother have the same problem when she was expecting you? 274 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:49,500 I wouldn't know. 275 00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:52,666 But this thing is making me sick around the clock. 276 00:16:53,958 --> 00:16:55,707 Look, I can see that you're trying 277 00:16:55,791 --> 00:16:57,666 to distance yourself from this baby. 278 00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,458 And that's fine, I understand. 279 00:17:00,166 --> 00:17:02,666 But there is a baby in there whether you like it or not. 280 00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:05,916 And if you don't feed it the nutrients it needs now, 281 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,957 then it'll turn out to be a sickly child 282 00:17:08,041 --> 00:17:10,000 and no one will want to adopt it. 283 00:17:12,625 --> 00:17:13,958 What am I supposed to do? 284 00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:17,041 Everything I eat just comes back up again. 285 00:17:17,708 --> 00:17:20,416 Try smaller portions more often. 286 00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:24,541 I don't care if you eat nothing but chips or gherkins or custard creams. 287 00:17:24,625 --> 00:17:28,582 Just find something you can keep down and eat it every day. 288 00:17:28,666 --> 00:17:29,666 Do you understand? 289 00:17:45,833 --> 00:17:47,833 (footsteps clomping) 290 00:17:50,458 --> 00:17:51,457 (Irene crying) 291 00:17:51,541 --> 00:17:52,583 What is it? 292 00:17:53,416 --> 00:17:54,625 It's Tommy. 293 00:17:56,625 --> 00:17:57,791 He's changed his mind. 294 00:17:59,375 --> 00:18:00,458 Irene. 295 00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:02,958 He says he's not ready to be a father after all. 296 00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:07,083 He's not coming to get us. 297 00:18:08,208 --> 00:18:10,416 (crying, gasps) 298 00:18:12,375 --> 00:18:14,416 (crying) I can't let them take my baby away. 299 00:18:17,541 --> 00:18:19,625 But you signed the paper, didn't you? 300 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:21,833 We all did. 301 00:18:23,041 --> 00:18:23,875 But, 302 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,166 m-maybe I can still find a way. 303 00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:32,500 M-Maybe I can sneak him out after he's born, when no one's watching. 304 00:18:33,208 --> 00:18:34,833 M-Maybe I can raise him on my own. 305 00:18:36,208 --> 00:18:37,041 (sighs) 306 00:18:39,541 --> 00:18:41,125 (sniffles) What am I asking you for? 307 00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:44,916 You chose to be here. 308 00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:46,666 Nobody forced you. 309 00:18:47,791 --> 00:18:48,916 How would you understand? 310 00:18:59,958 --> 00:19:02,250 I told you before that I could keep a secret. 311 00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:07,458 So if I tell you one of mine, do you promise to do the same? 312 00:19:07,958 --> 00:19:08,958 Of course. 313 00:19:10,875 --> 00:19:13,958 (somber music playing) 314 00:19:16,208 --> 00:19:19,625 Before I came here, I was working in an office. 315 00:19:23,041 --> 00:19:26,083 And my supervisor had-- had been so kind to me. 316 00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:29,750 I thought he was someone I could trust. 317 00:19:34,291 --> 00:19:35,250 But one day, 318 00:19:37,791 --> 00:19:38,916 he attacked me. 319 00:19:42,250 --> 00:19:43,625 That's how I ended up here. 320 00:19:46,875 --> 00:19:48,208 Eleanor, I had no idea. 321 00:19:51,708 --> 00:19:53,833 This baby wasn't conceived in love, 322 00:19:54,958 --> 00:19:56,250 not like yours was. 323 00:19:58,833 --> 00:20:01,708 But even though you and I have very different stories, 324 00:20:03,083 --> 00:20:05,791 somehow we've both ended up in the same predicament. 325 00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:08,666 My parents will hardly speak to me. 326 00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:12,832 Everybody's turned their back. 327 00:20:12,916 --> 00:20:14,000 Irene, 328 00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:16,666 If there's one thing I've learned, 329 00:20:17,666 --> 00:20:19,791 it's that the only person you can truly count on 330 00:20:20,625 --> 00:20:21,708 is yourself. 331 00:20:23,125 --> 00:20:25,750 So you have to ask yourself, honestly, 332 00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:29,916 are you gonna be able to raise this child alone? 333 00:20:30,916 --> 00:20:32,833 Are you gonna be able to find a job 334 00:20:33,875 --> 00:20:35,375 and a place to live? 335 00:20:37,916 --> 00:20:40,916 Are you gonna be able to look into that child's face every day 336 00:20:41,958 --> 00:20:43,958 and be reminded of his father? 337 00:20:47,458 --> 00:20:49,041 I know, for me, I couldn't do it. 338 00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,041 But I want this baby. 339 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,583 How am I supposed to just give him up? 340 00:20:58,041 --> 00:20:59,416 You have to do what I've been doing, 341 00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:02,041 and remind yourself he isn't yours. 342 00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:06,208 He belongs to some other woman, some other family. 343 00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:09,791 And he'll have a good life with them. 344 00:21:10,583 --> 00:21:13,041 Better than anything you or I could provide. 345 00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:16,291 The sooner we can get through this, 346 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,750 the sooner we can put it all behind us. 347 00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:22,082 (footsteps clomping) 348 00:21:22,166 --> 00:21:24,541 Come now, girls, this isn't social hour. 349 00:21:24,625 --> 00:21:26,000 Don't you have chores to do? 350 00:21:26,750 --> 00:21:28,166 Coming, Sister Janette. 351 00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:35,500 (sighing) 352 00:21:48,625 --> 00:21:49,541 (grunting) 353 00:21:50,541 --> 00:21:51,500 (groans) 354 00:21:52,083 --> 00:21:55,250 (breathing heavily) 355 00:22:02,375 --> 00:22:05,375 (ominous music playing) 356 00:22:27,416 --> 00:22:29,750 MIDWIFE: There it is. Praise God. 357 00:22:31,583 --> 00:22:32,541 (Covey exhales) 358 00:22:32,625 --> 00:22:33,875 MIDWIFE: Strong and steady. 359 00:22:34,625 --> 00:22:36,625 You've got a little fighter in there, Eleanor. 360 00:22:39,833 --> 00:22:40,750 Wait. 361 00:22:41,958 --> 00:22:43,124 Can I hear it? 362 00:22:43,208 --> 00:22:44,416 Oh, surely. 363 00:22:46,875 --> 00:22:47,957 Right there. 364 00:22:48,041 --> 00:22:48,875 Listen. 365 00:22:50,333 --> 00:22:53,375 (heart beating rapidly) 366 00:22:54,708 --> 00:22:57,916 (gentle music playing) 367 00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:04,999 It's so fast. 368 00:23:05,083 --> 00:23:06,124 MIDWIFE: That's normal. 369 00:23:06,208 --> 00:23:07,332 They're growing so rapidly, 370 00:23:07,416 --> 00:23:09,791 the heart has to pump extra hard to keep up. 371 00:23:24,458 --> 00:23:26,332 IRENE: Do you need anything before I go? 372 00:23:26,416 --> 00:23:27,541 No. Thank you. 373 00:23:28,791 --> 00:23:30,916 I just don't know what I'm gonna do with myself all day 374 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,332 with nothing to distract me. 375 00:23:32,416 --> 00:23:33,582 If I were you, I'd be thrilled 376 00:23:33,666 --> 00:23:35,375 not to have to scrub another dirty bed sheet. 377 00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:37,832 Enjoy your bedrest. 378 00:23:37,916 --> 00:23:39,666 (indistinct chatter) 379 00:23:39,750 --> 00:23:40,874 SISTER JANETTE: It's quite easier. 380 00:23:40,958 --> 00:23:43,457 UNWED MOTHER: Thank you. I keep it by the bed. 381 00:23:43,541 --> 00:23:46,791 (chatter continues indistinctly) 382 00:23:46,875 --> 00:23:49,000 (everyone has left the room) 383 00:23:54,250 --> 00:23:56,875 ELEANOR: I had felt little flutters before, 384 00:23:57,375 --> 00:23:58,791 but I ignored them. 385 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,374 Now for the first time, I started to wonder 386 00:24:06,458 --> 00:24:10,207 about this little life moving around inside of me. 387 00:24:10,291 --> 00:24:12,541 (gentle music playing) 388 00:24:12,625 --> 00:24:13,750 Was it a boy? 389 00:24:15,208 --> 00:24:16,208 Or a girl? 390 00:24:17,333 --> 00:24:18,916 Would she have my eyes 391 00:24:20,458 --> 00:24:21,958 or my mother's smile? 392 00:24:24,416 --> 00:24:27,791 And what kind of hopes and dreams would she have one day? 393 00:24:34,083 --> 00:24:36,041 (screaming) 394 00:24:38,916 --> 00:24:39,916 Irene? 395 00:24:40,666 --> 00:24:41,916 What is it? What happened? 396 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,207 (straining) Something's wrong. 397 00:24:43,291 --> 00:24:44,375 It hurts! 398 00:24:44,666 --> 00:24:46,499 Someone go wake up Sister Madeline! 399 00:24:46,583 --> 00:24:47,791 Tell her Irene needs help. 400 00:24:48,125 --> 00:24:49,666 Please! Now! Hurry! 401 00:24:49,750 --> 00:24:51,291 (Irene panting) 402 00:24:52,666 --> 00:24:54,166 My belly feels like a fist. 403 00:24:54,250 --> 00:24:55,416 (panting) 404 00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:57,457 - What's happening to me? - I don't know. 405 00:24:57,541 --> 00:24:59,374 Just squeeze my hand when it hurts, okay? 406 00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:00,999 (Irene screaming) 407 00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:03,541 ELEANOR: The night Irene went into labor, 408 00:25:04,250 --> 00:25:07,332 we had no idea what labor even was. 409 00:25:07,416 --> 00:25:09,166 SISTER MADELINE: It's all right, Irene. 410 00:25:09,250 --> 00:25:10,707 Settle down. 411 00:25:10,791 --> 00:25:12,624 We are taking you to the hospital now. 412 00:25:12,708 --> 00:25:15,333 ELEANOR: Nothing had been explained to us. 413 00:25:16,166 --> 00:25:17,332 What's wrong with her? 414 00:25:17,416 --> 00:25:18,582 Is she gonna be all right? 415 00:25:18,666 --> 00:25:20,625 The baby's coming. Everything is fine. 416 00:25:21,166 --> 00:25:24,374 ELEANOR: Everything was shrouded in mystery. 417 00:25:24,458 --> 00:25:25,832 (Irene panting) 418 00:25:25,916 --> 00:25:27,832 SISTER MADELINE: Now you girls get back to sleep. 419 00:25:27,916 --> 00:25:29,707 It's none of your concern. 420 00:25:29,791 --> 00:25:32,791 (Irene continues screaming) 421 00:25:34,375 --> 00:25:37,083 ELEANOR: So all I could do... was wait. 422 00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,625 Irene, I've been so worried. 423 00:25:45,208 --> 00:25:46,332 How did it go? 424 00:25:46,416 --> 00:25:47,749 SISTER JANETTE: She needs to rest, 425 00:25:47,833 --> 00:25:48,958 and so do you. 426 00:25:50,875 --> 00:25:52,208 Now leave her alone. 427 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,125 Let her sleep. 428 00:25:57,583 --> 00:25:59,250 I'll be back later to check on you. 429 00:26:07,958 --> 00:26:09,083 How do you feel? 430 00:26:12,625 --> 00:26:15,624 (soft music playing) 431 00:26:15,708 --> 00:26:16,958 Is everything okay? 432 00:26:18,750 --> 00:26:20,041 Where's little Henry? 433 00:26:23,166 --> 00:26:24,083 I was wrong. 434 00:26:26,375 --> 00:26:27,541 It wasn't a boy after all. 435 00:26:30,958 --> 00:26:32,750 She's down in the nursery now, I suppose. 436 00:26:33,583 --> 00:26:34,666 How is she? 437 00:26:35,875 --> 00:26:37,208 What did you name her? 438 00:26:38,416 --> 00:26:39,583 I didn't give her a name. 439 00:26:41,458 --> 00:26:44,583 But they told me that she was the third baby born this month. 440 00:26:46,750 --> 00:26:49,875 So they just wrote "Baby Number Three" on all the forms. 441 00:26:53,875 --> 00:26:55,916 Well, even though it wasn't a boy like you planned, 442 00:26:57,666 --> 00:27:00,166 it could still make you feel better to give her a name. 443 00:27:02,166 --> 00:27:03,833 Maybe something meaningful to you. 444 00:27:05,041 --> 00:27:06,500 But she's not my baby. 445 00:27:07,083 --> 00:27:09,958 So there's no point in naming her, is there? 446 00:27:11,583 --> 00:27:13,374 She's just Baby Number Three. 447 00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,458 And yours will be Baby Number Four. 448 00:27:18,833 --> 00:27:19,875 Or Five. 449 00:27:21,166 --> 00:27:22,333 Or Six. 450 00:27:25,083 --> 00:27:27,082 The sooner we can all get on with our lives 451 00:27:27,166 --> 00:27:30,416 and put all of this behind us, the better. 452 00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:34,374 Right? 453 00:27:34,458 --> 00:27:37,458 (somber music playing) 454 00:27:53,916 --> 00:27:56,000 (car starting) 455 00:28:06,833 --> 00:28:09,583 (indistinct chatter) 456 00:28:16,208 --> 00:28:17,375 IRENE: It's adoption day. 457 00:28:18,041 --> 00:28:20,541 Hope one of those couples will take a liking to Baby Number Three. 458 00:28:22,958 --> 00:28:24,208 Say a prayer for me, won't you? 459 00:28:25,208 --> 00:28:26,250 Of course. 460 00:28:27,791 --> 00:28:30,207 She's so precious, I'm sure they'll be fighting over her. 461 00:28:30,291 --> 00:28:31,208 They better. 462 00:28:33,750 --> 00:28:35,000 I feel like a dairy cow. 463 00:28:35,833 --> 00:28:37,624 I don't understand why they keep us here for six weeks 464 00:28:37,708 --> 00:28:38,916 when they can just buy formula. 465 00:28:40,208 --> 00:28:41,416 They say it's the cost. 466 00:28:42,541 --> 00:28:43,416 And, 467 00:28:44,125 --> 00:28:45,291 it's what's best for the baby. 468 00:28:45,375 --> 00:28:46,375 But what about us? 469 00:28:53,291 --> 00:28:54,791 I don't know how much more I can take. 470 00:28:56,708 --> 00:28:59,499 Eleanor, what are you doing out of bed? 471 00:28:59,583 --> 00:29:01,999 I'm sorry, I ju-- I just cannot find a comfortable position. 472 00:29:02,083 --> 00:29:05,124 Well, that's too bad because the midwife was quite clear. 473 00:29:05,208 --> 00:29:06,707 You plant yourself back in that bed 474 00:29:06,791 --> 00:29:08,750 'til you're instructed to do otherwise. 475 00:29:09,750 --> 00:29:13,291 Now, Irene, those floors aren't going to scrub themselves, are they? 476 00:29:13,375 --> 00:29:14,457 IRENE: Coming, Sister Janette. 477 00:29:14,541 --> 00:29:17,875 (departing footsteps) 478 00:29:28,375 --> 00:29:30,041 (heavy breaths) 479 00:29:41,416 --> 00:29:45,083 (muffled, indistinct chatter) 480 00:29:53,250 --> 00:29:54,166 (Covey grunts) 481 00:29:54,250 --> 00:29:56,166 (heavy breaths) 482 00:29:56,250 --> 00:29:57,125 (groans) 483 00:30:03,083 --> 00:30:04,416 (grunts) 484 00:30:07,041 --> 00:30:08,457 (grunting) 485 00:30:08,541 --> 00:30:12,625 MATHILDA: Breathe deep and wide, Covey. 486 00:30:15,125 --> 00:30:17,291 Deep and wide. 487 00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:21,125 Deep and wide. 488 00:30:23,583 --> 00:30:26,666 (shuddering) 489 00:30:33,833 --> 00:30:35,083 You're not coming with me? 490 00:30:36,166 --> 00:30:38,250 (siren wailing) 491 00:30:39,583 --> 00:30:42,582 MATHILDA: Breathe deep and wide. 492 00:30:42,666 --> 00:30:44,874 (grunting) 493 00:30:44,958 --> 00:30:47,541 MIDWIFE: Eleanor, you have to breathe. 494 00:30:47,625 --> 00:30:51,082 (continues grunting) 495 00:30:51,166 --> 00:30:54,124 If you want to swim on your own one day, my girl, 496 00:30:54,208 --> 00:30:56,541 you must learn to control your breath. 497 00:30:57,291 --> 00:31:00,666 Breathe deep and wide. 498 00:31:00,750 --> 00:31:02,791 And take it one stroke at a time. 499 00:31:03,500 --> 00:31:04,833 Ready to try one more time? 500 00:31:05,916 --> 00:31:07,374 What are you afraid of? 501 00:31:07,458 --> 00:31:10,041 What's underneath. What I can't see. 502 00:31:10,125 --> 00:31:11,707 MIDWIFE: You have to breathe. 503 00:31:11,791 --> 00:31:13,082 - (Covey crying) - MIDWIFE: Eleanor-- 504 00:31:13,166 --> 00:31:16,499 Breathe deep and wide. 505 00:31:16,583 --> 00:31:17,750 And I'll be right here. 506 00:31:18,500 --> 00:31:19,750 Breathe in. 507 00:31:20,583 --> 00:31:23,000 - (breathes deeply) - MATHILDA: Out. 508 00:31:24,041 --> 00:31:27,041 In. Out. 509 00:31:27,416 --> 00:31:29,124 - (Covey groans) - MATHILDA: In. 510 00:31:29,208 --> 00:31:30,582 (Covey inhales sharply) 511 00:31:30,666 --> 00:31:32,124 I wanna see. 512 00:31:32,208 --> 00:31:34,041 Calm down, dear. We do this with all the girls. 513 00:31:34,125 --> 00:31:35,374 It's what's best. 514 00:31:35,458 --> 00:31:38,416 (grunting in pain) No! I need to see! 515 00:31:38,500 --> 00:31:40,249 (grunting) 516 00:31:40,333 --> 00:31:41,333 MATHILDA: Breathe in. 517 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,499 Out. 518 00:31:43,583 --> 00:31:44,999 In. 519 00:31:45,083 --> 00:31:46,000 Out. 520 00:31:46,541 --> 00:31:48,791 - Breathe in. - MIDWIFE: That's it. 521 00:31:48,875 --> 00:31:50,957 - MATHILDA: Out. - (both exhale) 522 00:31:51,041 --> 00:31:52,707 - In. - (both inhale) 523 00:31:52,791 --> 00:31:54,875 - Out. - (both exhale) 524 00:32:02,250 --> 00:32:04,333 (screaming) 525 00:32:04,833 --> 00:32:06,500 (sobs) 526 00:32:07,666 --> 00:32:10,457 (gasps, cries) 527 00:32:10,541 --> 00:32:12,541 (baby crying) 528 00:32:17,541 --> 00:32:18,791 Is the baby okay? 529 00:32:20,666 --> 00:32:22,583 Miss Sheila, is the baby okay? 530 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,208 Miss Sheila, please. 531 00:32:25,875 --> 00:32:27,458 SHEILA: Congratulations. 532 00:32:28,125 --> 00:32:30,582 We have ourselves a healthy, thriving girl. 533 00:32:30,666 --> 00:32:33,207 - (baby crying) - Mm. You're so sweet! 534 00:32:33,291 --> 00:32:35,041 SISTER JANETTE: And so easy to place. 535 00:32:35,125 --> 00:32:37,666 - (baby cries) - (Covey weeps) 536 00:32:37,750 --> 00:32:38,791 (Sister Madeline chuckles) 537 00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:41,250 SHEILA: Feeding time. 538 00:32:43,041 --> 00:32:44,583 Down you go. 539 00:32:45,083 --> 00:32:47,541 - (baby cries) - (Covey shushing) 540 00:32:50,541 --> 00:32:54,666 ELEANOR: "So easy to place." Of course. 541 00:32:54,750 --> 00:32:58,207 My sweet girl with a shock of dark hair 542 00:32:58,291 --> 00:33:02,708 and a birthmark on her perfect little pink head. 543 00:33:05,083 --> 00:33:05,916 (baby gurgles) 544 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,124 SHEILA: Come on, Eleanor. 545 00:33:07,208 --> 00:33:08,416 The baby will latch better 546 00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:09,874 if you scoot down a bit. 547 00:33:09,958 --> 00:33:11,166 Her name is Mathilda. 548 00:33:11,666 --> 00:33:13,582 - (baby cries) - (Covey shushes) 549 00:33:13,666 --> 00:33:16,624 ELEANOR: Before I met you, my firstborn, 550 00:33:16,708 --> 00:33:19,416 I was afraid that you would be a reminder 551 00:33:19,500 --> 00:33:21,666 of that horrible thing that happened to me. 552 00:33:22,916 --> 00:33:27,041 And then, all of a sudden, my past didn't matter. 553 00:33:28,208 --> 00:33:29,207 All of a sudden, 554 00:33:29,291 --> 00:33:31,166 you were my future. 555 00:33:31,250 --> 00:33:32,082 (baby cries) 556 00:33:32,166 --> 00:33:33,375 My everything. 557 00:33:33,958 --> 00:33:35,457 You'll feed every two hours. 558 00:33:35,541 --> 00:33:38,207 And you'll do so in the nursery, no exceptions. 559 00:33:38,291 --> 00:33:40,832 One of us will wake you to keep you on schedule. 560 00:33:40,916 --> 00:33:42,208 IRENE: Please take her away. 561 00:33:42,625 --> 00:33:44,541 - Please! I can't do this. - NUN: You need to try again. 562 00:33:44,625 --> 00:33:46,041 IRENE: Please, just take her away. I can't. 563 00:33:46,125 --> 00:33:47,374 NUN: She needs to feed. Pull the chin up. 564 00:33:47,458 --> 00:33:48,749 What on earth is going on? 565 00:33:48,833 --> 00:33:50,166 It doesn't matter what I do, 566 00:33:50,250 --> 00:33:51,457 this baby will not feed. 567 00:33:51,541 --> 00:33:53,541 Hush, child. Untuck the baby's chin. 568 00:33:53,625 --> 00:33:55,124 IRENE: I've tried that already! 569 00:33:55,208 --> 00:33:56,166 I'm not a machine. 570 00:33:56,250 --> 00:33:57,999 Just-- You take her. 571 00:33:58,083 --> 00:33:58,957 I can't do this. 572 00:33:59,041 --> 00:34:01,249 You must try. She's starving. 573 00:34:01,333 --> 00:34:02,333 Untuck the baby's chin. 574 00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:04,707 (Irene sighs) 575 00:34:04,791 --> 00:34:06,875 (baby fussing) 576 00:34:10,958 --> 00:34:12,041 (Irene grunts in pain) 577 00:34:12,666 --> 00:34:14,957 - She bit me! - Quiet yourself, Irene. 578 00:34:15,041 --> 00:34:16,082 And keep at it. 579 00:34:16,166 --> 00:34:19,250 (babies crying) 580 00:34:28,125 --> 00:34:29,374 (baby crying) 581 00:34:29,458 --> 00:34:32,082 - See! She won't stay on. - Dear God. 582 00:34:32,166 --> 00:34:33,874 IRENE: Please, just let me go back to work. 583 00:34:33,958 --> 00:34:35,166 I can't do this. 584 00:34:35,250 --> 00:34:36,958 NUN: She won't latch, what other choice do we have? 585 00:34:38,291 --> 00:34:39,749 (baby fussing) 586 00:34:39,833 --> 00:34:41,666 You only upset her anyway. 587 00:34:43,625 --> 00:34:46,041 Go on, escort Eleanor back to the dormitory. 588 00:34:46,125 --> 00:34:47,250 (baby cries) 589 00:34:48,541 --> 00:34:50,750 Could I maybe sit with her for a little bit longer? 590 00:34:51,750 --> 00:34:52,999 She did not feed much at the hospital. 591 00:34:53,083 --> 00:34:54,416 We have them on a schedule. 592 00:34:54,500 --> 00:34:57,041 It makes for an easier transition when they're placed. 593 00:34:58,750 --> 00:35:00,833 (babies crying) 594 00:35:04,458 --> 00:35:05,833 Irene, go on. 595 00:35:14,125 --> 00:35:15,791 Mm. (baby grunts) 596 00:35:26,041 --> 00:35:29,333 Well, you did it. You're one step closer to the finish line. 597 00:35:30,833 --> 00:35:31,791 How are you feeling? 598 00:35:32,875 --> 00:35:33,707 Different. 599 00:35:33,791 --> 00:35:34,875 Yes, of course. 600 00:35:35,833 --> 00:35:38,041 When the shock wears off, you'll feel like a split turkey. 601 00:35:40,500 --> 00:35:41,750 You'll want to slip into that. 602 00:35:42,666 --> 00:35:43,791 To heal your privates. 603 00:35:43,875 --> 00:35:44,707 (babies crying) 604 00:35:44,791 --> 00:35:45,624 It's awkward, 605 00:35:45,708 --> 00:35:48,250 but like everything else in this hellhole, you'll get used to it. 606 00:35:50,208 --> 00:35:52,208 (distant baby cries) 607 00:35:55,541 --> 00:35:58,291 How lovely. Did you do this? 608 00:35:58,375 --> 00:35:59,583 Me and the other girls. 609 00:36:00,333 --> 00:36:02,166 Thought it was about time we were, 610 00:36:02,250 --> 00:36:04,333 I don't know, acknowledged. 611 00:36:05,208 --> 00:36:06,333 Celebrated. 612 00:36:06,833 --> 00:36:08,208 After all we put our bodies through. 613 00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:10,750 Do you know what I mean? 614 00:36:11,666 --> 00:36:12,791 I do. 615 00:36:12,875 --> 00:36:14,207 Especially considering we don't even get 616 00:36:14,291 --> 00:36:15,332 a couple of days to recover 617 00:36:15,416 --> 00:36:16,791 before they send us back to work. 618 00:36:17,250 --> 00:36:19,332 At least we get to rest during feedings. 619 00:36:19,416 --> 00:36:20,416 Rest? 620 00:36:20,750 --> 00:36:22,791 I'd rather scrub floors until my knuckles bleed. 621 00:36:23,416 --> 00:36:25,041 - Stop it. - Stop what? 622 00:36:25,125 --> 00:36:27,249 Acting like you don't care about your baby. 623 00:36:27,333 --> 00:36:28,875 It's not my baby, remember? 624 00:36:34,166 --> 00:36:35,750 I'm sorry I said that, Irene. 625 00:36:37,416 --> 00:36:38,875 But it was months ago. 626 00:36:39,458 --> 00:36:41,041 I didn't know. 627 00:36:41,125 --> 00:36:42,333 I couldn't have known. 628 00:36:44,333 --> 00:36:45,499 Now that I do, I think-- 629 00:36:45,583 --> 00:36:47,708 I think maybe you should try and bond with her. 630 00:36:48,500 --> 00:36:49,583 I can't. 631 00:36:50,875 --> 00:36:52,166 Not when I know she isn't mine. 632 00:36:56,666 --> 00:36:58,625 But if you enjoy the time you do have with her, 633 00:37:00,083 --> 00:37:01,791 feed her, soothe her, 634 00:37:04,083 --> 00:37:05,875 maybe it'll make this time less miserable. 635 00:37:07,500 --> 00:37:08,958 Maybe years from now, 636 00:37:11,500 --> 00:37:13,250 it'll be the one thing you hold on to. 637 00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:16,791 Can't you just try? 638 00:37:17,500 --> 00:37:19,333 I know you're tired of pretending. 639 00:37:21,625 --> 00:37:23,708 Believe me, I understand how hard it is. 640 00:37:25,041 --> 00:37:26,333 Don't worry about me, Eleanor. 641 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,500 In a few weeks, this will all be over, 642 00:37:31,166 --> 00:37:32,958 and I'll be able to move on with my life. 643 00:37:36,416 --> 00:37:37,457 We both will. 644 00:37:47,791 --> 00:37:49,791 (baby crying) 645 00:37:55,291 --> 00:37:56,833 - (Covey gasps) - Time to feed. 646 00:37:59,041 --> 00:38:01,125 (baby crying) 647 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,916 SISTER JANETTE: I hear ya. I know. 648 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,083 COVEY: Where's Irene? 649 00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:11,166 SISTER JANETTE: Not that it's any of your business, 650 00:38:11,250 --> 00:38:12,541 but she's been discharged. 651 00:38:13,458 --> 00:38:15,375 - (baby cries) - But it hasn't been six weeks. 652 00:38:15,916 --> 00:38:18,457 She was unable and unwilling to nurse. 653 00:38:18,541 --> 00:38:19,833 We needed to free up the bed. 654 00:38:21,750 --> 00:38:23,625 - Where did she go? - SISTER JANETTE: Home. 655 00:38:24,208 --> 00:38:25,957 Home? But her parents-- 656 00:38:26,041 --> 00:38:28,416 They came to pick her up this afternoon. 657 00:38:29,458 --> 00:38:31,208 It was quite a warm reception. 658 00:38:32,916 --> 00:38:34,333 They're eager to move on, 659 00:38:34,833 --> 00:38:35,916 as a family. 660 00:38:37,750 --> 00:38:38,708 Hush now. 661 00:38:39,375 --> 00:38:41,666 We have a hungry baby on our hands. 662 00:38:43,666 --> 00:38:44,916 Hello there, Mathilda. 663 00:38:45,666 --> 00:38:47,166 Are you hungry, my sweet girl? 664 00:38:49,333 --> 00:38:50,333 (Covey shushes) 665 00:38:50,791 --> 00:38:51,875 I'm here. 666 00:38:53,208 --> 00:38:56,457 (babies crying) 667 00:38:56,541 --> 00:38:58,791 SISTER JANETTE: Oh, it's a bit of rash. 668 00:38:59,750 --> 00:39:01,166 Terrible stuff. 669 00:39:01,916 --> 00:39:04,916 (uneasy music playing) 670 00:39:09,500 --> 00:39:11,124 (Nuns chatter indistinctly) 671 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,000 (uneasy music intensifies) 672 00:39:50,416 --> 00:39:51,875 And where do you think you're going? 673 00:39:56,083 --> 00:39:57,083 I don't know. 674 00:39:58,291 --> 00:39:59,125 I just-- 675 00:40:01,375 --> 00:40:02,541 I have to get outta here, 676 00:40:03,541 --> 00:40:05,041 and I have to take her with me. 677 00:40:05,958 --> 00:40:07,083 I understand. 678 00:40:09,708 --> 00:40:10,624 You do? 679 00:40:10,708 --> 00:40:11,791 Of course. 680 00:40:11,875 --> 00:40:14,707 It's perfectly normal to feel this way, 681 00:40:14,791 --> 00:40:16,125 so close to the birth. 682 00:40:17,291 --> 00:40:18,624 But let me ask you something. 683 00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:20,124 How far you think you're gonna get 684 00:40:20,208 --> 00:40:22,208 with two diapers and a blanket? 685 00:40:23,166 --> 00:40:25,708 The child won't survive. Neither will you. 686 00:40:27,166 --> 00:40:29,832 You're not in your right mind to make such a decision. 687 00:40:29,916 --> 00:40:31,999 You've been waking up all hours of the night, 688 00:40:32,083 --> 00:40:33,708 barely eating or sleeping. 689 00:40:34,666 --> 00:40:36,958 Why don't you... get some rest? 690 00:40:38,666 --> 00:40:40,458 And we'll talk about all this in the morning. 691 00:40:51,666 --> 00:40:53,166 (baby fussing) 692 00:40:56,791 --> 00:40:57,791 You're right. 693 00:40:59,833 --> 00:41:02,332 I'm so sorry to have worried you, Sister Madeline. 694 00:41:02,416 --> 00:41:04,666 (softly) That's okay. You go and get some sleep. 695 00:41:05,291 --> 00:41:06,875 Right now, you're in a fog. 696 00:41:07,625 --> 00:41:10,666 But tomorrow, everything will be much clearer. 697 00:41:11,458 --> 00:41:12,458 I promise. 698 00:41:20,500 --> 00:41:22,958 ELEANOR: I had grown accustomed to pretending. 699 00:41:23,708 --> 00:41:27,957 Pretending I was a girl raised by my grandmother in the mountains. 700 00:41:28,041 --> 00:41:30,916 Pretending I was an orphan nurse. 701 00:41:35,916 --> 00:41:38,874 And now, I would pretend that I was the same person 702 00:41:38,958 --> 00:41:41,791 who walked into that home for unwed mothers. 703 00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:46,916 A young woman unwilling and unfit to be a mother. 704 00:41:49,333 --> 00:41:52,708 But I knew something Sister Madeline did not. 705 00:41:53,458 --> 00:41:57,916 I knew that love was enough to make me a fit parent, 706 00:41:58,708 --> 00:42:00,791 that I was enough. 707 00:42:15,375 --> 00:42:19,291 I just had to wait until the right moment to prove it. 708 00:42:25,583 --> 00:42:28,583 (somber music playing) 709 00:42:43,250 --> 00:42:45,875 (Mathilda breathes deeply) 710 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:00,875 I'll be home soon, my girl. 711 00:43:23,666 --> 00:43:26,207 PEARL: The boat leaves in an hour, Mathilda. 712 00:43:26,291 --> 00:43:28,416 You'll just make it if you hurry. 713 00:43:28,500 --> 00:43:30,707 I'll write to you when I reach America, 714 00:43:30,791 --> 00:43:32,500 and then I'll be back for Covey, 715 00:43:33,375 --> 00:43:35,916 when I find somewhere safe for us to start over. 716 00:43:37,500 --> 00:43:40,166 Here. It's my share of the cake money. 717 00:43:40,250 --> 00:43:43,124 No. I can't accept this. 718 00:43:43,208 --> 00:43:44,624 You have your own family. 719 00:43:44,708 --> 00:43:46,958 You are my family. 720 00:43:49,458 --> 00:43:52,874 Promise me you will protect her, 721 00:43:52,958 --> 00:43:56,666 and wrap your arms around her for me every single day. 722 00:43:58,791 --> 00:44:00,958 - I promise. - (both cry, sniffle) 723 00:44:04,625 --> 00:44:05,625 Now go. 724 00:44:06,166 --> 00:44:07,041 Go on. 725 00:44:07,125 --> 00:44:08,666 Before you lose your nerve. 726 00:44:12,875 --> 00:44:15,958 (birds chirping) 727 00:44:17,125 --> 00:44:18,000 (Covey gasps) 728 00:44:18,333 --> 00:44:20,333 (tense music playing) 729 00:44:27,125 --> 00:44:28,250 Where's Mathilda? 730 00:44:29,583 --> 00:44:31,082 Wh-Why didn't anyone wake me to feed 731 00:44:31,166 --> 00:44:32,707 or for morning chores? 732 00:44:32,791 --> 00:44:34,332 Our mistake. Get dressed and 733 00:44:34,416 --> 00:44:35,874 head on down to the kitchen, will you? 734 00:44:43,541 --> 00:44:44,500 Sister Madeline! 735 00:44:45,208 --> 00:44:46,333 Sister Madeline! 736 00:44:51,416 --> 00:44:52,332 MAN: What a beauty. 737 00:44:52,416 --> 00:44:54,375 Oh, she's absolutely perfect. 738 00:44:55,208 --> 00:44:58,916 Oh, would you look at that, Ron? I think she smiled at me. 739 00:44:59,958 --> 00:45:00,916 What are you doing? 740 00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,207 SISTER MADELINE: Okay, let me take care of this. Hello-- 741 00:45:03,291 --> 00:45:05,874 Sister Madeline, you have to stop this! Please! 742 00:45:05,958 --> 00:45:07,332 SISTER MADELINE: Everything is fine. 743 00:45:07,416 --> 00:45:09,416 - Give her to me! That's my baby! - Everything is fine. 744 00:45:09,500 --> 00:45:11,124 - No, you lied to me! - No. 745 00:45:11,208 --> 00:45:12,457 Please, don't do this to me! 746 00:45:12,541 --> 00:45:14,124 - Please, please! - Oh, okay. 747 00:45:14,208 --> 00:45:16,457 I-I changed my mind. I take it all back. 748 00:45:16,541 --> 00:45:19,416 - It's too late! - No! I didn't know what I was doing. 749 00:45:19,500 --> 00:45:20,749 I didn't know what I was signing. 750 00:45:20,833 --> 00:45:22,749 Please, I want her. Please! 751 00:45:22,833 --> 00:45:24,207 That's my baby! 752 00:45:24,291 --> 00:45:26,250 - (door closes) - No! Mathilda! 753 00:45:28,291 --> 00:45:29,125 No! 754 00:45:30,833 --> 00:45:31,666 No! 755 00:45:32,083 --> 00:45:35,541 (screams) No! No! Please! 756 00:45:35,625 --> 00:45:38,124 Please! (gasping breaths) 757 00:45:38,208 --> 00:45:41,333 (somber music playing) 758 00:45:42,500 --> 00:45:44,249 (Covey whimpers) 759 00:45:47,208 --> 00:45:49,208 (sobs) 760 00:45:52,291 --> 00:45:54,624 SISTER MADELINE: They've been praying for a baby for years. 761 00:45:54,708 --> 00:45:56,499 (gasping breaths) 762 00:45:56,583 --> 00:45:58,291 And they've agreed to keep Mathilda 763 00:45:58,375 --> 00:46:01,041 as her middle name at my request, so... 764 00:46:01,125 --> 00:46:03,207 (Covey cries) 765 00:46:03,291 --> 00:46:06,833 A little piece of you will be with her always. 766 00:46:09,208 --> 00:46:10,499 Take comfort in that, will you? 767 00:46:10,583 --> 00:46:11,791 (Covey sobs) 768 00:46:15,458 --> 00:46:16,916 Come on, dear. 769 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:18,791 Let's get you packed and on your way. 770 00:46:18,875 --> 00:46:21,708 (gasps, cries) 771 00:46:23,583 --> 00:46:25,749 (crying) Where will I go? 772 00:46:25,833 --> 00:46:27,750 You've done a good thing. 773 00:46:28,916 --> 00:46:30,624 God will lead the way, child. 774 00:46:30,708 --> 00:46:33,000 (sobbing) 775 00:46:40,625 --> 00:46:43,708 ("Girl from the North Country" by Bob Dylan playing) 776 00:46:49,166 --> 00:46:51,832 ELEANOR: I will never know what kept my mum away. 777 00:46:51,916 --> 00:46:53,541 ♪ If you're travelin' ♪ 778 00:46:55,125 --> 00:46:57,291 ♪ To the north country fair ♪ 779 00:46:57,375 --> 00:47:00,291 ELEANOR: But I believe, with all my heart, 780 00:47:03,291 --> 00:47:05,583 that she wanted to come back for me. 781 00:47:07,666 --> 00:47:09,375 ♪ Remember me ♪ 782 00:47:10,833 --> 00:47:11,957 ♪ To one who... ♪ 783 00:47:12,041 --> 00:47:13,958 ELEANOR: I have to believe that. 784 00:47:15,708 --> 00:47:17,958 ♪ Oh she once was ♪ 785 00:47:19,166 --> 00:47:21,583 ♪ A true love of mine ♪ 786 00:47:22,250 --> 00:47:27,208 ELEANOR: For weeks, I walked the streets, hoping I'd find you. 787 00:47:28,250 --> 00:47:30,457 PROTESTER (on megaphone): Speak now, brothers and sisters. 788 00:47:30,541 --> 00:47:32,041 Let our burdens be known! 789 00:47:32,125 --> 00:47:34,166 (students protesting) 790 00:47:34,916 --> 00:47:36,250 ELEANOR: And then I saw him, 791 00:47:37,750 --> 00:47:40,291 my reason to keep living. 792 00:47:40,375 --> 00:47:43,249 ♪ See for me that her hair's... ♪ 793 00:47:43,333 --> 00:47:44,916 ELEANOR: If Gibbs Grant had only known 794 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:46,624 what he was getting into that day 795 00:47:46,708 --> 00:47:49,500 when I nearly walked in front of a bus, 796 00:47:50,458 --> 00:47:52,208 instead of into his arms, 797 00:47:54,166 --> 00:47:56,833 I'm not sure he would've kept walking. 798 00:47:59,083 --> 00:48:01,041 But I'm so grateful that he did. 799 00:48:04,333 --> 00:48:07,375 (on recording) Just as I am grateful for the time I had with you, 800 00:48:08,125 --> 00:48:10,041 Mabel Mathilda. 801 00:48:10,750 --> 00:48:13,582 You must know, my firstborn, 802 00:48:13,666 --> 00:48:17,916 that even if I couldn't find the courage to tell my family about you, 803 00:48:18,916 --> 00:48:20,541 you are always here with me. 804 00:48:21,208 --> 00:48:22,457 With us. 805 00:48:22,541 --> 00:48:23,999 You are everywhere. 806 00:48:24,083 --> 00:48:25,166 Know that. 807 00:48:25,250 --> 00:48:26,083 (clicks off) 808 00:48:26,625 --> 00:48:27,791 I'm sorry. I just, um-- 809 00:48:28,458 --> 00:48:30,041 I just need a break. (sniffling) 810 00:48:31,041 --> 00:48:34,041 (solemn music playing) 811 00:48:44,208 --> 00:48:45,125 Byron, 812 00:48:46,875 --> 00:48:48,083 the daffodils. 813 00:49:03,250 --> 00:49:04,500 I am so sorry. 814 00:49:05,916 --> 00:49:07,041 For coming here unannounced 815 00:49:07,125 --> 00:49:10,541 and storming out yesterday like a madwoman. 816 00:49:14,083 --> 00:49:14,916 Mabel, 817 00:49:16,083 --> 00:49:17,041 come on. 818 00:49:17,125 --> 00:49:18,416 There's something you should see. 819 00:49:26,458 --> 00:49:29,749 - Ma was obsessed with this garden. - BYRON: Hmm. 820 00:49:29,833 --> 00:49:33,207 And now, after hearing her talk about the daffodils in bloom 821 00:49:33,291 --> 00:49:34,291 when you were born-- 822 00:49:35,041 --> 00:49:36,708 She planted these for you. 823 00:49:38,500 --> 00:49:39,791 ELEANOR: Mabel, 824 00:49:39,875 --> 00:49:42,791 I hope that you will find comfort in knowing 825 00:49:42,875 --> 00:49:45,958 that you are not alone in this world. 826 00:49:47,916 --> 00:49:50,958 As I reach the end of my time here, 827 00:49:51,541 --> 00:49:56,250 I find myself feeling closer to my mother than ever before. 828 00:49:57,041 --> 00:49:58,832 If only I had more time 829 00:49:58,916 --> 00:50:01,207 to find out what happened to her. 830 00:50:01,291 --> 00:50:04,625 Maybe you can do that for me, my loves. 831 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:09,207 B and B, I don't know how you will feel 832 00:50:09,291 --> 00:50:11,541 after hearing everything I've had to say. 833 00:50:12,291 --> 00:50:13,583 You may be upset. 834 00:50:14,041 --> 00:50:16,082 You may be asking yourselves 835 00:50:16,166 --> 00:50:18,541 if you can ever really know who I am. 836 00:50:19,791 --> 00:50:22,125 And this is what I need you to hear. 837 00:50:23,375 --> 00:50:26,666 You have always known who I am. 838 00:50:27,875 --> 00:50:30,708 Who I am is your mother. 839 00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:34,874 (on recording) My children, 840 00:50:34,958 --> 00:50:37,416 I've reached the end of my story. 841 00:50:37,833 --> 00:50:39,291 This is it for me. 842 00:50:41,541 --> 00:50:43,958 I realize, of course, 843 00:50:44,291 --> 00:50:48,333 that I'm leaving you with so many unanswered questions, 844 00:50:48,958 --> 00:50:52,416 particularly... about my wedding. 845 00:50:54,083 --> 00:50:57,083 And I understand if you still want answers. 846 00:50:58,250 --> 00:51:01,082 So you deserve to know that there is still someone out there 847 00:51:01,166 --> 00:51:02,791 who can give them to you. 848 00:51:03,833 --> 00:51:06,958 Someone who knows what really happened. 849 00:51:08,375 --> 00:51:10,291 Although, I must admit 850 00:51:10,375 --> 00:51:13,666 I'm afraid of what you'll think if you find out the truth. 851 00:51:14,416 --> 00:51:15,708 So please, 852 00:51:16,458 --> 00:51:19,083 before you go digging into the past, 853 00:51:19,916 --> 00:51:23,916 just know that it might not be what you expect. 854 00:51:29,750 --> 00:51:32,166 (ominous music playing) 855 00:51:51,791 --> 00:51:52,958 And please, 856 00:51:56,125 --> 00:52:00,333 try to understand that nothing about that night was easy. 857 00:52:16,541 --> 00:52:17,791 But in the end, 858 00:52:18,916 --> 00:52:20,416 it had to be done. 859 00:52:33,583 --> 00:52:37,541 (gentle music playing) 860 00:54:27,583 --> 00:54:30,583 Captioned by Point.360