1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:41,034 --> 00:00:44,992 God is a smoker of Havanas 4 00:00:46,825 --> 00:00:50,200 I see his gray clouds 5 00:00:52,617 --> 00:00:57,783 I know that he smokes even at night 6 00:00:58,617 --> 00:01:00,992 Like me, darling 7 00:01:01,408 --> 00:01:05,325 You're just a smoker of Gitanes 8 00:01:07,117 --> 00:01:10,909 I see your blue curls 9 00:01:13,158 --> 00:01:19,784 SMOKING CAUSES COUGHING 10 00:01:22,034 --> 00:01:25,617 God is a smoker of Havanas 11 00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:31,283 He told me so himself 12 00:01:33,533 --> 00:01:38,241 Smoke sends you to Paradise 13 00:01:57,658 --> 00:01:58,617 Can we pull over? 14 00:02:00,866 --> 00:02:01,742 Again? 15 00:02:33,575 --> 00:02:34,617 No way. 16 00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:39,492 The binoculars, Dad! This is wild! 17 00:02:40,241 --> 00:02:41,075 What is it? 18 00:02:41,283 --> 00:02:43,200 Pull up your zipper, Stéphane. 19 00:02:43,408 --> 00:02:45,075 The binoculars, please, quick. 20 00:02:45,367 --> 00:02:46,200 Come on. 21 00:02:49,492 --> 00:02:50,658 Don't drop them. 22 00:02:50,867 --> 00:02:51,742 Yeah. 23 00:03:01,033 --> 00:03:02,784 Fuck, it's them! This is wild! 24 00:03:03,033 --> 00:03:04,784 Go see what's going on. 25 00:03:13,909 --> 00:03:16,658 Unbelievable! The Tobacco Force, right there! 26 00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:20,283 - Who? - The Tobacco Force, Dad! Fuck! 27 00:03:24,742 --> 00:03:26,533 Just down there. Incredible! 28 00:03:27,116 --> 00:03:29,075 The guys in tracksuits? 29 00:03:29,283 --> 00:03:30,909 Forget it, you don't understand. 30 00:03:31,450 --> 00:03:33,408 Coolest avengers in the world! 31 00:03:34,367 --> 00:03:36,659 - In the whole world, really? - Yep. 32 00:04:05,533 --> 00:04:09,199 No one told me he was vegetarian. I didn't think twice. 33 00:04:09,408 --> 00:04:11,991 - I was talking about salami, like usual. - Ouch! 34 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,408 Everyone at dinner knew but me! 35 00:04:14,617 --> 00:04:15,784 How'd you blow it? 36 00:04:15,991 --> 00:04:17,909 It was really stupid. I... 37 00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:21,033 Guys! Come, we can't win this hand-to-hand. 38 00:04:21,575 --> 00:04:22,825 He's way tougher! 39 00:04:23,033 --> 00:04:25,158 - Shit. - Let's give him a cancer! 40 00:04:25,367 --> 00:04:26,909 Yes! My thoughts exactly! 41 00:04:27,158 --> 00:04:28,575 - Come. - We're off! 42 00:04:28,991 --> 00:04:30,909 - I'll finish later. - Deal. 43 00:04:33,408 --> 00:04:36,617 We have to circle him so he gets totally confused. 44 00:04:36,825 --> 00:04:37,950 Go on! 45 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:45,492 Positions! 46 00:04:48,033 --> 00:04:49,867 He's confused! It's time! 47 00:04:50,116 --> 00:04:52,075 Let's go, guys! Ready! 48 00:04:52,283 --> 00:04:53,991 Go! Ammonia! 49 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,033 Methanol! 50 00:04:55,283 --> 00:04:56,158 Benzene! 51 00:04:56,408 --> 00:04:57,325 Nicotine! 52 00:04:57,991 --> 00:04:58,991 Mercury! 53 00:05:00,950 --> 00:05:02,033 Get ready! 54 00:05:02,908 --> 00:05:05,242 I'm below max level! What's wrong? 55 00:05:05,492 --> 00:05:07,617 You're not sincere enough! Focus! 56 00:05:07,867 --> 00:05:09,492 I am sincere! Cut the shit! 57 00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:10,908 What the fuck, Mercury? 58 00:05:11,158 --> 00:05:12,283 It's not coming! 59 00:05:12,492 --> 00:05:14,617 You're not sincere enough! I can tell. 60 00:05:15,158 --> 00:05:16,408 Just one second. 61 00:05:18,867 --> 00:05:19,742 Can you hurry? 62 00:05:19,991 --> 00:05:21,617 I feel it! It's coming! 63 00:05:21,825 --> 00:05:22,991 Here it comes! 64 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,283 So let's go! 65 00:05:24,617 --> 00:05:25,908 Tobacco Force! 66 00:05:52,575 --> 00:05:54,825 Most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 67 00:05:56,075 --> 00:05:56,950 There! 68 00:06:01,325 --> 00:06:02,200 That's it! 69 00:06:02,408 --> 00:06:03,408 So gross. 70 00:06:04,158 --> 00:06:05,659 Good work, guys! 71 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,367 Nice job, dudes! 72 00:06:10,450 --> 00:06:12,742 Sorry for the lack of sincerity. 73 00:06:12,950 --> 00:06:14,908 I was in a bad place. Don't know why. 74 00:06:15,116 --> 00:06:16,367 It happens to us all. 75 00:06:39,825 --> 00:06:40,659 Norbert 500! 76 00:06:41,283 --> 00:06:42,575 See all this carnage? 77 00:06:42,784 --> 00:06:44,784 Filthy. I'll rinse your costumes 78 00:06:45,033 --> 00:06:47,450 before the blood stains the fibers. 79 00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:50,367 - Get in line. - What a fucking pill. 80 00:06:50,575 --> 00:06:53,242 Congratulate us before talking about cleaning. 81 00:06:53,450 --> 00:06:55,283 You know he has no emotions. 82 00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:57,283 Line up in front of me. 83 00:06:57,534 --> 00:06:59,033 How will you rinse us off? 84 00:06:59,825 --> 00:07:03,325 Come on, get in a line. He's right, we're all gross. 85 00:07:03,908 --> 00:07:05,033 Hey, Norbert, 86 00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:07,950 did Chief Didier say he's happy with us? 87 00:07:08,158 --> 00:07:11,325 Chief Didier did not ask me to tell you anything. 88 00:07:11,617 --> 00:07:14,117 Don't move. I will activate the rinse. 89 00:07:17,991 --> 00:07:19,908 Excellent! An integrated hose! 90 00:07:20,117 --> 00:07:22,450 I hope this is hot water! I don't want to catch cold. 91 00:07:22,659 --> 00:07:23,700 Listen to him. 92 00:07:23,908 --> 00:07:25,200 What a wuss. 93 00:07:25,408 --> 00:07:28,075 I hope it shoots just water. 94 00:07:28,283 --> 00:07:29,575 See where it's located? 95 00:07:51,866 --> 00:07:54,534 INCOMING VIDEO CALL 96 00:08:05,367 --> 00:08:06,200 Hello, Chief Didier. 97 00:08:06,575 --> 00:08:09,283 Hello, Nicotine. You're stunning as ever. 98 00:08:09,575 --> 00:08:10,991 Thank you, that's sweet. 99 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,950 Am I dreaming or have your breasts grown larger? 100 00:08:16,283 --> 00:08:17,492 I think so too. 101 00:08:18,158 --> 00:08:19,991 Actually, I'm sure they have. 102 00:08:20,242 --> 00:08:21,283 It suits you well. 103 00:08:22,075 --> 00:08:23,700 Thank you, Chief. 104 00:08:23,950 --> 00:08:25,075 Get the others. 105 00:08:25,325 --> 00:08:27,324 I have something important to say. 106 00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:28,616 All right. 107 00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:30,950 It's normal. Just use deodorant. 108 00:08:31,282 --> 00:08:32,700 I use it all the time. 109 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,866 Conference call with Chief Didier! 110 00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:46,991 Hello, Chief Didier. 111 00:08:47,242 --> 00:08:48,283 Hello, Tobacco Force. 112 00:08:48,534 --> 00:08:50,367 First let me congratulate you. 113 00:08:50,575 --> 00:08:53,783 Tortusse got what he deserved. You should be proud. 114 00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,075 It was a beautiful kill. 115 00:08:56,617 --> 00:08:57,492 Thanks, Chief Didier. 116 00:08:57,700 --> 00:08:58,617 Thanks. 117 00:08:58,866 --> 00:09:01,492 Now I have some less pleasant news. 118 00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:03,409 Don't take it badly. 119 00:09:03,950 --> 00:09:06,200 The meta-data of your last missions 120 00:09:06,409 --> 00:09:09,658 shows that group cohesion has considerably weakened. 121 00:09:10,242 --> 00:09:11,283 Oh, yeah? 122 00:09:12,033 --> 00:09:12,866 Really? 123 00:09:13,075 --> 00:09:15,908 Really. I'll spare you the alarming details. 124 00:09:16,158 --> 00:09:19,409 Some of you are becoming increasingly individualistic, 125 00:09:19,658 --> 00:09:20,950 and I don't like that. 126 00:09:21,158 --> 00:09:23,950 To keep performance and solidarity high, 127 00:09:24,158 --> 00:09:27,450 I'm sending you on a retreat for a few days. 128 00:09:27,658 --> 00:09:31,075 to boost team spirit, the hallmark of Tobacco Force. 129 00:09:31,617 --> 00:09:32,575 A retreat? 130 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,409 Like a seminar, I guess. Right? 131 00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:36,908 Call it what you will. 132 00:09:37,367 --> 00:09:40,534 Underground base F77 will be your dormitory. 133 00:09:40,908 --> 00:09:42,534 You can organize your days 134 00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:43,783 as you see fit. 135 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,950 Okay, vacation time! Great. 136 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,992 - Totally. - Yes, but with a major objective. 137 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,825 Wait, it's just that I... 138 00:09:51,033 --> 00:09:53,284 I planned to spend time with my kids. 139 00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:55,409 I don't see them often, so... 140 00:09:55,866 --> 00:09:58,866 Forget it, Mercury, it's an order. You leave now. 141 00:09:59,950 --> 00:10:02,658 You won a battle, but the war is far from over. 142 00:10:03,367 --> 00:10:05,783 I need you all in top form 143 00:10:05,992 --> 00:10:07,575 for next week's mission. 144 00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:11,158 Your opponent will be more ferocious than Tortusse. 145 00:10:15,992 --> 00:10:16,992 Who is it? 146 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,242 Lizardin. 147 00:10:19,492 --> 00:10:20,450 The one and only. 148 00:10:20,950 --> 00:10:23,741 My intel services intercepted a galactic email 149 00:10:23,950 --> 00:10:26,658 from Lizardin's personal assistant. 150 00:10:26,866 --> 00:10:29,534 It seems to suggest that 151 00:10:29,741 --> 00:10:34,200 the bastard plans to destroy planet Earth before the year's end. 152 00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:35,866 - What? - No! 153 00:10:36,117 --> 00:10:38,616 We can't let a lizard destroy the planet. 154 00:10:38,950 --> 00:10:40,783 My thoughts exactly. 155 00:10:40,992 --> 00:10:42,534 Good thinking, Nicotine. 156 00:10:42,950 --> 00:10:43,783 Thank you. 157 00:10:43,950 --> 00:10:46,117 We think so too, we just didn't say it. 158 00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:48,575 One second. 159 00:10:49,325 --> 00:10:50,534 Hello? Yes... 160 00:10:54,284 --> 00:10:55,492 Yes, okay... 161 00:10:56,075 --> 00:10:57,825 Fine, tell him I'm on my way. 162 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:01,284 I have to go to a business lunch. 163 00:11:01,492 --> 00:11:05,117 The van is programmed to drive you to your retreat. 164 00:11:05,325 --> 00:11:06,367 Enjoy your stay. 165 00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:09,616 Rest up, look out for each other, and above all, 166 00:11:09,867 --> 00:11:10,825 I'll say it again, 167 00:11:11,033 --> 00:11:13,825 work on your group cohesion. 168 00:11:14,242 --> 00:11:17,867 Only if you remain close-knit can you save the world. 169 00:11:18,325 --> 00:11:19,367 See you later. 170 00:12:11,491 --> 00:12:12,367 Hello. 171 00:12:12,658 --> 00:12:13,491 Hello. 172 00:12:13,783 --> 00:12:17,367 I'm really sorry, but my son recognized you. 173 00:12:17,741 --> 00:12:18,825 He's over the moon. 174 00:12:19,616 --> 00:12:21,284 Can he get a picture with you? 175 00:12:23,825 --> 00:12:25,575 Get ready, smile. 176 00:12:26,741 --> 00:12:28,783 Perfect. I'll take one more. 177 00:12:30,741 --> 00:12:31,741 One last one. 178 00:12:35,075 --> 00:12:36,200 All done. Thanks! 179 00:12:36,409 --> 00:12:37,450 Our pleasure. 180 00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:39,533 Happy, my boy? 181 00:12:39,741 --> 00:12:42,242 Over the moon, sir. You're my favorite. 182 00:12:42,450 --> 00:12:43,658 Nice... 183 00:12:43,867 --> 00:12:46,325 Let me tell you something life-changing. 184 00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:48,783 Our name is Tobacco Force, 185 00:12:48,992 --> 00:12:51,741 but we're all anti-cigarette, really. 186 00:12:51,950 --> 00:12:53,033 So why the name? 187 00:12:53,242 --> 00:12:55,033 I'll explain, you'll get it. 188 00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:58,950 We use the negative energy from tobacco as a weapon, see? 189 00:12:59,450 --> 00:13:02,491 To suffocate our adversaries until they die. 190 00:13:03,242 --> 00:13:05,616 We've never smoked in our lives, never. 191 00:13:05,908 --> 00:13:07,117 Why are you telling me? 192 00:13:08,658 --> 00:13:11,533 So you don't screw up like your dad. Look at him. 193 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,533 Think he looks smart? 194 00:13:14,408 --> 00:13:15,284 I don't know. 195 00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:16,450 No. 196 00:13:16,950 --> 00:13:18,242 He looks like an idiot. 197 00:13:18,908 --> 00:13:19,950 Trust me. 198 00:13:20,575 --> 00:13:21,908 Don't touch that shit. 199 00:13:22,616 --> 00:13:23,783 Smoking sucks. 200 00:13:24,658 --> 00:13:25,742 It causes coughing. 201 00:14:14,575 --> 00:14:15,825 Great location! 202 00:14:16,992 --> 00:14:19,200 Oh, my God, it's gorgeous! 203 00:14:19,408 --> 00:14:21,616 Oh, yeah, so, so sweet. 204 00:14:21,825 --> 00:14:24,867 No kidding, I haven't seen a lake in 20 years. 205 00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:27,408 It's mind-blowing, literally. 206 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,366 Think we can swim in it? 207 00:14:30,742 --> 00:14:31,742 It's water. 208 00:14:32,366 --> 00:14:33,825 Maybe there are germs. 209 00:14:34,034 --> 00:14:35,034 It looks clean. 210 00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:36,783 We're so lucky! 211 00:14:36,992 --> 00:14:38,450 Where is Norbert going? 212 00:14:53,658 --> 00:14:55,034 What's that dummy doing? 213 00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:57,117 He must be in reconnaissance mode. 214 00:14:57,783 --> 00:14:58,742 He's exploring. 215 00:14:58,950 --> 00:15:00,533 He should answer, though. 216 00:15:04,366 --> 00:15:05,450 Norb! 217 00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:10,658 What are you doing? 218 00:15:11,034 --> 00:15:12,034 Maybe nothing. 219 00:15:13,159 --> 00:15:14,450 He's not moving. 220 00:15:20,408 --> 00:15:22,034 That fucking idiot! 221 00:15:36,408 --> 00:15:38,117 - After you. - Okay. 222 00:15:48,950 --> 00:15:50,909 Oh, yeah, nice! 223 00:16:00,617 --> 00:16:02,867 Oh, yeah, I love it! 224 00:16:04,117 --> 00:16:05,075 Super! 225 00:16:08,617 --> 00:16:11,075 Hey guys, titanium beds! Amazing! 226 00:16:11,283 --> 00:16:13,283 This base is wild! 227 00:16:13,950 --> 00:16:15,117 Total fucking comfort! 228 00:16:15,825 --> 00:16:17,034 I love it! 229 00:16:18,491 --> 00:16:20,325 Jeez! You won't believe it! 230 00:16:20,617 --> 00:16:21,867 Sea-water showers! 231 00:16:22,366 --> 00:16:23,491 Classy! 232 00:16:27,992 --> 00:16:28,950 No way! 233 00:16:29,241 --> 00:16:30,159 Hello. 234 00:16:30,366 --> 00:16:34,491 This is crazy! There's even a supermarket-fridge! 235 00:16:35,159 --> 00:16:36,658 I want to live here. 236 00:16:37,159 --> 00:16:38,241 So do I. 237 00:16:42,366 --> 00:16:45,075 {\an8}CALLING 238 00:16:56,782 --> 00:16:58,408 Yes, Nicotine, what is it? 239 00:16:58,909 --> 00:16:59,825 I... 240 00:17:00,616 --> 00:17:02,449 - Can you hear? - Yes, sorry. 241 00:17:04,241 --> 00:17:08,117 Sorry, I wanted to report something, but I can call back. 242 00:17:08,366 --> 00:17:09,991 If it's a bad time. 243 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,992 Go on, tell me, now that we're talking. 244 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:15,657 Go on, I'm listening. 245 00:17:15,867 --> 00:17:17,075 Actually... 246 00:17:17,325 --> 00:17:18,491 I'm a bit worried. 247 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:22,533 Norbert 500 dove into the lake and never resurfaced. 248 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:25,117 That's completely normal, honeybun. 249 00:17:25,366 --> 00:17:27,366 He was programmed for suicide. 250 00:17:27,575 --> 00:17:28,825 Just after the mission. 251 00:17:29,075 --> 00:17:30,034 Oh, okay. 252 00:17:30,241 --> 00:17:33,366 You'll receive an upgraded model tomorrow morning. 253 00:17:33,575 --> 00:17:34,783 Now I see, thanks. 254 00:17:34,992 --> 00:17:36,158 Sorry I bothered you, 255 00:17:36,366 --> 00:17:40,950 I'll tell the others and leave you with your... friend. 256 00:17:41,450 --> 00:17:44,200 We'll talk later. Enjoy your stay. 257 00:17:44,450 --> 00:17:46,158 And remember why you're there. 258 00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:48,366 - You can count on us. - Goodbye. 259 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,117 Goodbye. 260 00:18:14,617 --> 00:18:15,950 I don't agree. 261 00:18:17,283 --> 00:18:18,283 Seriously... 262 00:18:19,034 --> 00:18:21,325 Nothing bad can happen to us, right? 263 00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:23,034 What are you talking about? 264 00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:24,909 There's no real danger. 265 00:18:25,158 --> 00:18:26,450 We always get by! 266 00:18:26,950 --> 00:18:27,867 Totally not. 267 00:18:28,158 --> 00:18:29,575 Nonsense, there's danger. 268 00:18:30,241 --> 00:18:31,450 Don't we always win? 269 00:18:31,658 --> 00:18:33,492 For now, but that means nothing. 270 00:18:34,950 --> 00:18:35,950 Yes, it does. 271 00:18:36,492 --> 00:18:38,575 I just think that we're invincible. 272 00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,575 Wait, I just heard something. 273 00:18:41,617 --> 00:18:43,825 - What? Where? - In the bushes over there. 274 00:18:45,116 --> 00:18:46,658 Am I the only one who thinks we're invincible? 275 00:18:46,867 --> 00:18:48,325 Shut up, I heard something! 276 00:18:50,784 --> 00:18:52,742 I'm not crazy. See that? 277 00:18:53,075 --> 00:18:55,366 Come on, relax, it's nothing. 278 00:18:55,575 --> 00:18:57,366 - Who the hell cares? - I do. 279 00:18:57,575 --> 00:18:58,617 I'm freaking out. 280 00:19:00,492 --> 00:19:01,784 Fuck, what's that? 281 00:19:01,992 --> 00:19:02,992 You piss me off! 282 00:19:03,784 --> 00:19:05,742 We can't listen to bushes all night. 283 00:19:06,825 --> 00:19:09,075 Are we Tobacco Force or fucking pussies? 284 00:19:09,700 --> 00:19:10,658 What are you doing? 285 00:19:12,742 --> 00:19:14,116 There. No more noise. 286 00:19:14,575 --> 00:19:15,575 Feel better now? 287 00:19:23,116 --> 00:19:24,492 Okay, I get it. 288 00:19:25,116 --> 00:19:26,116 What is it? 289 00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:28,492 A groundhog. 290 00:19:29,408 --> 00:19:31,200 You freaked out over a groundhog. 291 00:19:33,492 --> 00:19:34,492 Stress for nothing! 292 00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:35,992 I was out of control. 293 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,033 Me too. 294 00:19:37,241 --> 00:19:40,158 We're in nature. There are animals, it's normal. 295 00:19:40,367 --> 00:19:41,742 Were you really scared? 296 00:19:41,950 --> 00:19:43,658 Yeah, we're not used to this. 297 00:19:43,867 --> 00:19:45,575 And at night, you never know. 298 00:19:45,784 --> 00:19:48,784 - What were you expecting? - No idea. 299 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:52,325 A pervert spying on us, jerking off. 300 00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:55,367 No, something dangerous, like a bear! 301 00:19:55,992 --> 00:19:57,742 A bear? I can't believe my ears! 302 00:19:58,617 --> 00:20:01,950 You chickens! A noise at night and you shit your pants! 303 00:20:02,325 --> 00:20:03,241 It was surprising. 304 00:20:03,909 --> 00:20:06,283 "Surprising"? Bad choice of words! 305 00:20:06,492 --> 00:20:07,325 Wait. 306 00:20:07,659 --> 00:20:10,075 Here's a scary story, just to show you. 307 00:20:10,283 --> 00:20:11,867 - No, I'm good. - Come on! 308 00:20:12,075 --> 00:20:13,367 Go on, I'm into it. 309 00:20:14,325 --> 00:20:15,283 Great team spirit. 310 00:20:16,408 --> 00:20:17,742 Methanol, can I? 311 00:20:18,241 --> 00:20:21,033 Dunno, is it "interesting-scary" or just scary? 312 00:20:21,617 --> 00:20:23,659 You'll see, but more number one. 313 00:20:23,909 --> 00:20:24,991 Yeah, why not? 314 00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:26,617 Nicotine? 315 00:20:28,116 --> 00:20:29,825 Whatever, I couldn't care less. 316 00:20:30,033 --> 00:20:32,492 - Lovely. - Why are you such a downer? 317 00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:33,742 You're morose. 318 00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:35,283 I'm just thinking. 319 00:20:35,492 --> 00:20:37,367 Forget it, it's fine. 320 00:20:37,784 --> 00:20:39,909 "Couldn't care less" is yes. So, yes? 321 00:20:40,116 --> 00:20:41,283 I'm hypersensitive. 322 00:20:41,492 --> 00:20:43,867 If it's too scary, I'll have nightmares. 323 00:20:44,116 --> 00:20:45,116 It's just for fun! 324 00:20:45,659 --> 00:20:46,742 Okay, go on. 325 00:20:46,909 --> 00:20:47,742 Yes? 326 00:20:47,867 --> 00:20:49,742 It's always guys who decide anyway. 327 00:20:49,950 --> 00:20:52,991 That's not true, not among us. 328 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,617 Honestly, those aren't the vibes here. 329 00:20:56,533 --> 00:20:58,033 - So? - Yeah, go on. 330 00:20:58,575 --> 00:21:00,867 Beware. This is real. 331 00:21:02,241 --> 00:21:03,825 A true story, nothing invented. 332 00:21:06,033 --> 00:21:09,033 It's the story of two couples, very good friends... 333 00:21:10,367 --> 00:21:13,283 who rent a country house 334 00:21:14,033 --> 00:21:15,075 for the weekend. 335 00:21:26,242 --> 00:21:27,659 Now one of myself. 336 00:21:37,325 --> 00:21:38,533 - Cute little place! - Yes. 337 00:21:46,450 --> 00:21:48,033 Fuck, my back hurts. 338 00:21:48,825 --> 00:21:50,575 Isn't that car uncomfortable? 339 00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:58,617 Look, honey. 340 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,367 - You weren't listening. - Come look! 341 00:22:03,158 --> 00:22:04,866 "Thinking Helmet." 342 00:22:05,575 --> 00:22:07,242 Wild! It's from 1930. 343 00:22:08,492 --> 00:22:10,033 1930, wow. 344 00:22:10,242 --> 00:22:11,325 Before World War II. 345 00:22:11,866 --> 00:22:12,784 Listen, 346 00:22:12,991 --> 00:22:18,283 "Isolating you from the external world, this helmet enhances thought flow 347 00:22:18,492 --> 00:22:20,908 and quickly purifies your mind. 348 00:22:21,116 --> 00:22:23,242 Not for asthmatics or children under 15." 349 00:22:26,950 --> 00:22:29,075 This thing looks like fun. 350 00:22:29,534 --> 00:22:31,908 It's nothing at all, just bullshit. 351 00:22:33,617 --> 00:22:34,659 Come on! 352 00:22:34,908 --> 00:22:38,659 You like strangers chomping popcorn in your ear while watching a movie? 353 00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:40,866 I don't pay attention. 354 00:22:41,075 --> 00:22:44,200 If the movie's good, you tune out everyone else. 355 00:22:44,408 --> 00:22:46,325 - Right. - Well, I don't. Sorry. 356 00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:48,742 And you can always change seats. 357 00:22:49,158 --> 00:22:50,950 You just want a big screen. 358 00:22:51,158 --> 00:22:53,116 No, that's a misconception, buddy. 359 00:22:53,450 --> 00:22:55,075 - Coffee, everyone? - You bet. 360 00:22:55,283 --> 00:22:56,742 Please, honey. Thanks. 361 00:22:56,950 --> 00:22:59,659 Let me explain the scam, because it is a scam. 362 00:22:59,866 --> 00:23:00,950 Here we go again. 363 00:23:01,158 --> 00:23:02,408 A movie screen is big. 364 00:23:02,825 --> 00:23:03,784 Right? 365 00:23:03,991 --> 00:23:05,700 But since you sit far away, 366 00:23:05,908 --> 00:23:07,200 perspective-wise, 367 00:23:07,408 --> 00:23:09,617 the screen size is the same as a TV. 368 00:23:10,784 --> 00:23:11,700 Get it? 369 00:23:12,534 --> 00:23:13,367 Not really. 370 00:23:13,575 --> 00:23:14,908 Think for a sec. 371 00:23:15,116 --> 00:23:16,033 It's physics. 372 00:23:16,742 --> 00:23:19,700 If you see an elephant from afar, it seems small. 373 00:23:20,659 --> 00:23:22,283 We have a big TV. 374 00:23:22,950 --> 00:23:23,866 Yeah. 375 00:23:24,116 --> 00:23:26,784 The coffee is ready. 376 00:23:27,033 --> 00:23:28,367 You put it on? 377 00:23:28,534 --> 00:23:30,117 What the fuck is that? 378 00:23:30,325 --> 00:23:32,575 - It's awful. - What are you doing? 379 00:23:32,825 --> 00:23:34,492 I don't know. Isn't it funny? 380 00:23:35,283 --> 00:23:38,200 I swear it's comfortable. I feel great with it on. 381 00:23:39,783 --> 00:23:42,158 Actually, it's practical if you're ugly. 382 00:23:46,617 --> 00:23:48,783 No, but... No. 383 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,158 You don't want to join us, honey? 384 00:24:02,700 --> 00:24:04,325 No, I'm good. It's cool. 385 00:24:04,534 --> 00:24:06,617 What an amazing sensation, I can really think. 386 00:24:07,325 --> 00:24:08,325 Think? 387 00:24:08,741 --> 00:24:11,242 You can't wear that dumb thing all day! 388 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:12,825 Come and dance with us. 389 00:24:13,033 --> 00:24:14,700 - Dance, you two. - What? 390 00:24:14,908 --> 00:24:16,325 Go on, have some fun. 391 00:24:16,534 --> 00:24:17,367 Hold on... 392 00:24:23,325 --> 00:24:25,117 That idiot dances so fucking badly. 393 00:24:26,659 --> 00:24:28,117 A real dumbass. 394 00:24:30,033 --> 00:24:31,659 I'm married to a dumbass. 395 00:24:33,242 --> 00:24:34,866 I can't stand him anymore. 396 00:24:35,825 --> 00:24:38,325 He's weighed me down for years, I'm fed up. 397 00:24:39,908 --> 00:24:42,617 I don't remember loving him for a single second. 398 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,866 How the fuck could I have lied to myself? 399 00:24:48,575 --> 00:24:50,033 I've had it up to my eyeballs. 400 00:24:51,409 --> 00:24:52,409 Come on. 401 00:24:53,908 --> 00:24:55,117 Come dance! 402 00:24:55,825 --> 00:24:57,242 What a loser, this one is. 403 00:24:58,075 --> 00:25:00,367 He's gotten on my nerves from day one. 404 00:25:01,866 --> 00:25:03,908 Vulgar, ignorant, 405 00:25:04,575 --> 00:25:06,908 oversexed, complacent. 406 00:25:07,534 --> 00:25:09,367 He's so annoying, I could slap him. 407 00:25:10,033 --> 00:25:13,033 You can't sit there all alone. Come and dance! 408 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,950 And that fucking wife of his! 409 00:25:19,242 --> 00:25:21,325 My God, what a dipshit. 410 00:25:21,700 --> 00:25:23,825 What am I doing with these people? 411 00:25:24,492 --> 00:25:26,617 I suddenly feel so far away from them. 412 00:25:27,409 --> 00:25:28,409 So far away. 413 00:25:28,908 --> 00:25:30,783 Maybe I'm not really here after all. 414 00:25:31,825 --> 00:25:33,158 Yes, that must be it. 415 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,158 My body's here in this room with these three dummies, 416 00:25:37,908 --> 00:25:39,741 but my mind is elsewhere. 417 00:25:40,908 --> 00:25:41,950 Far away. 418 00:25:42,409 --> 00:25:43,575 Very far. 419 00:25:43,866 --> 00:25:45,866 Actually, that's why I feel so good. 420 00:25:46,367 --> 00:25:47,741 My mind has left. 421 00:25:48,117 --> 00:25:49,450 It's very pleasant. 422 00:25:50,575 --> 00:25:52,575 Everything seems so clear suddenly. 423 00:25:55,283 --> 00:25:58,741 I don't know where I am, but I want to stay here forever. 424 00:26:02,492 --> 00:26:04,908 Come on, honey, open. We're worried. 425 00:26:05,117 --> 00:26:06,200 Maybe she's sick. 426 00:26:07,033 --> 00:26:08,783 - Sick with what? - No idea. 427 00:26:08,992 --> 00:26:10,658 Move. 428 00:26:13,783 --> 00:26:14,783 Fuck. 429 00:26:15,367 --> 00:26:16,908 - Honey? - What? 430 00:26:17,117 --> 00:26:19,492 What's up? We were scared! You crazy? 431 00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:21,492 I'm relaxing, don't worry. 432 00:26:21,866 --> 00:26:24,075 And the water's cold. Take that off. 433 00:26:24,284 --> 00:26:26,575 It's stuck. I can't take it off anymore. 434 00:26:26,741 --> 00:26:27,575 What? 435 00:26:27,741 --> 00:26:29,992 No biggie, I feel great. I'll keep it. 436 00:26:30,367 --> 00:26:33,534 You all have fun. Don't worry about me. 437 00:26:34,158 --> 00:26:35,741 I swear it's cool. 438 00:26:35,950 --> 00:26:38,075 I'm thinking, I can't stop thinking. 439 00:26:38,284 --> 00:26:40,033 It's wonderful, I adore it. 440 00:26:40,783 --> 00:26:42,367 You can leave, thanks. 441 00:26:46,575 --> 00:26:49,200 It's like a big motorcycle helmet. 442 00:26:49,409 --> 00:26:51,534 So we're afraid she'll suffocate. 443 00:26:52,450 --> 00:26:53,783 Okay, thanks. Great. 444 00:26:53,992 --> 00:26:55,616 - She's getting a doctor. - Great. 445 00:26:55,825 --> 00:26:59,616 Honey, we'll ask a doctor. We'll figure this out. 446 00:27:00,450 --> 00:27:01,534 Why? 447 00:27:01,908 --> 00:27:04,325 To get that off. You can't keep it on! 448 00:27:04,575 --> 00:27:07,534 You don't listen. I said I want it. 449 00:27:07,950 --> 00:27:11,534 Don't give yourselves a headache. Just leave me alone. 450 00:27:12,325 --> 00:27:14,450 I've never felt so good in all my life. 451 00:27:15,075 --> 00:27:16,117 She's totally delirious. 452 00:27:16,616 --> 00:27:18,616 Of course, it's the lack of oxygen. 453 00:27:19,033 --> 00:27:20,325 Excuse me, guys... 454 00:27:20,825 --> 00:27:24,117 How can a doctor make a diagnosis over the phone? 455 00:27:25,033 --> 00:27:26,242 They're used to it. 456 00:27:26,450 --> 00:27:28,741 Baby, you're eating again! Watch out! 457 00:27:28,992 --> 00:27:29,825 What? 458 00:27:30,075 --> 00:27:31,075 Yes, yes. 459 00:27:33,825 --> 00:27:34,783 Okay. 460 00:27:37,158 --> 00:27:38,492 Well, thanks anyway. 461 00:27:38,741 --> 00:27:39,700 Goodbye. 462 00:27:40,284 --> 00:27:41,825 So... I don't know. 463 00:27:42,367 --> 00:27:46,200 They said to use a hammer, like firemen do when they're stuck. 464 00:27:46,658 --> 00:27:47,908 - What? - Or the ER. 465 00:27:48,117 --> 00:27:49,242 A two-hour ride. 466 00:27:49,700 --> 00:27:50,533 Fuck. 467 00:27:50,741 --> 00:27:51,575 What a pain! 468 00:27:51,783 --> 00:27:53,450 We're not taking the car! 469 00:27:57,658 --> 00:28:00,409 We arrive on Earth pure and innocent, 470 00:28:00,616 --> 00:28:01,950 in a perfect little body. 471 00:28:02,284 --> 00:28:04,825 And spend the rest of our lives wasting away. 472 00:28:05,700 --> 00:28:07,409 What a pathetic existence. 473 00:28:09,492 --> 00:28:13,158 Why is the mind condemned to be stuck in a deteriorating body? 474 00:28:13,783 --> 00:28:14,950 Who decided that? 475 00:28:15,658 --> 00:28:17,616 Why all this disgusting flesh, 476 00:28:17,950 --> 00:28:21,242 these fragile organs, this hair, these nails? 477 00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:23,284 So ugly, so useless. 478 00:28:25,450 --> 00:28:28,200 Maybe humankind is just one big mistake? 479 00:28:32,284 --> 00:28:33,700 What's that noise? 480 00:28:34,575 --> 00:28:36,409 They want me back in that world? 481 00:28:36,825 --> 00:28:38,075 What for? 482 00:28:38,450 --> 00:28:40,409 Leave me the fuck alone. 483 00:28:40,741 --> 00:28:42,200 Let me go away in peace. 484 00:28:44,367 --> 00:28:45,284 Oh, no. 485 00:28:46,075 --> 00:28:47,783 That lovesick loser, again. 486 00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:50,409 I can't take it anymore. 487 00:28:52,450 --> 00:28:53,700 This has to stop. 488 00:29:03,325 --> 00:29:05,533 This isn't working! Pain in the ass! 489 00:29:06,325 --> 00:29:07,409 You're filming? 490 00:29:07,992 --> 00:29:09,200 Yeah. It's for her. 491 00:29:12,783 --> 00:29:14,575 Her hand's gone limp. 492 00:29:14,825 --> 00:29:15,825 But she's breathing. 493 00:29:17,159 --> 00:29:17,992 I have no idea. 494 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:19,325 Should I try with this? 495 00:29:20,491 --> 00:29:22,117 Where would you saw? 496 00:29:23,159 --> 00:29:24,450 I don't know. 497 00:29:25,075 --> 00:29:26,033 This way? 498 00:29:26,616 --> 00:29:27,783 That's her brain! 499 00:29:28,159 --> 00:29:29,658 But her skull protects it. 500 00:29:30,117 --> 00:29:30,950 Don't worry. 501 00:29:31,783 --> 00:29:33,867 Or here, but it's her throat. 502 00:29:33,992 --> 00:29:34,867 It's worse. 503 00:29:35,075 --> 00:29:36,825 I have no idea, I've never done this! 504 00:29:37,075 --> 00:29:38,284 Why did she put that on? 505 00:29:38,491 --> 00:29:41,575 - Yes or no? - Yes, we can't leave her like this. 506 00:29:41,825 --> 00:29:43,450 So I'll do it, I'll saw. 507 00:29:46,533 --> 00:29:47,658 This has to end. 508 00:29:53,992 --> 00:29:54,908 Fuck. 509 00:30:16,408 --> 00:30:19,450 There, I freed you from your body. You can escape. 510 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,825 You're dumb as fuck, but you're allowed to be free. 511 00:30:23,533 --> 00:30:24,616 Have a nice trip. 512 00:30:27,408 --> 00:30:28,575 So... 513 00:30:35,284 --> 00:30:36,242 No. 514 00:30:43,575 --> 00:30:44,533 No. 515 00:30:59,408 --> 00:31:00,867 We've managed to hide. 516 00:31:02,491 --> 00:31:05,325 I'm afraid of dying. Right now, we're in a pool. 517 00:31:05,616 --> 00:31:07,242 It reeks of chlorine! 518 00:31:07,450 --> 00:31:08,950 Hey, calm down. 519 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:11,867 She killed Christophe. I can't believe it. 520 00:31:12,117 --> 00:31:15,783 Céline, get a hold of yourself. You're too loud, shut up! 521 00:31:16,242 --> 00:31:17,700 Get a hold of myself? 522 00:31:17,908 --> 00:31:20,284 She killed my husband! Are you stupid? 523 00:31:20,533 --> 00:31:23,783 I know. He was my best friend. This is tough for me too. 524 00:31:24,075 --> 00:31:25,742 But please, keep it down. 525 00:31:25,992 --> 00:31:29,034 Why hide if we're yelling? Understand? 526 00:31:29,242 --> 00:31:31,867 And we were trying to have a child. 527 00:31:32,159 --> 00:31:33,700 I have to tell the camera. 528 00:31:34,950 --> 00:31:36,742 So... me and Christophe... 529 00:31:37,325 --> 00:31:38,783 we wanted to have a baby. 530 00:31:39,491 --> 00:31:41,242 - Who are you talking to? - But... 531 00:31:41,742 --> 00:31:44,575 We were waiting for him to be financially stable. 532 00:31:44,783 --> 00:31:47,617 He had some problems at the office. 533 00:31:47,783 --> 00:31:49,366 Stop, no one will watch that. 534 00:31:49,617 --> 00:31:52,491 There'll be an investigation. It's important to document. 535 00:31:52,742 --> 00:31:55,783 It's useless, so shut up! Control yourself! 536 00:31:55,992 --> 00:31:59,450 Okay, I'm being bawled out by Psycho-Killer's husband. 537 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:01,867 - Give me that. - Hands off! 538 00:32:02,117 --> 00:32:04,075 We can call the cops instead. 539 00:32:04,325 --> 00:32:05,283 Are you stupid? 540 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:10,491 This has to end. 541 00:32:11,908 --> 00:32:17,117 This has to end. 542 00:32:29,491 --> 00:32:30,617 This has to end. 543 00:32:41,575 --> 00:32:42,491 Bruno. 544 00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:56,117 No! 545 00:32:57,241 --> 00:32:59,200 No, please. 546 00:32:59,491 --> 00:33:02,366 I don't deserve this. I never hurt anyone. 547 00:33:02,575 --> 00:33:03,617 I don't want to... 548 00:33:08,366 --> 00:33:09,700 This has to end. 549 00:33:13,617 --> 00:33:16,159 Then the helmet filled up with water. 550 00:33:17,575 --> 00:33:19,034 And the girl drowned. 551 00:33:20,117 --> 00:33:21,700 All of them, dead. Like that. 552 00:33:22,909 --> 00:33:23,742 Horrible. 553 00:33:24,366 --> 00:33:25,200 Like it? 554 00:33:25,408 --> 00:33:26,366 Yeah! 555 00:33:26,617 --> 00:33:27,450 So... 556 00:33:27,658 --> 00:33:29,533 That didn't scare me. 557 00:33:30,075 --> 00:33:32,075 - Seriously? - Yeah. It's weird, 558 00:33:32,283 --> 00:33:34,366 but not scary, see? Not for me. 559 00:33:34,867 --> 00:33:36,159 You're abnormal, period. 560 00:33:36,867 --> 00:33:39,117 A groundhog scares you but not that story? 561 00:33:39,366 --> 00:33:40,825 Yeah, no, I dunno. 562 00:33:41,034 --> 00:33:43,117 It's sexist to say "period." 563 00:33:44,241 --> 00:33:46,575 Ovulation references aren't cool. 564 00:33:47,283 --> 00:33:49,159 That's not what he was saying. 565 00:33:49,658 --> 00:33:52,575 Saying that word to a female shocks me. 566 00:33:54,366 --> 00:33:55,825 It's the Political Correctness Police. 567 00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:58,158 Wait, did you say "female"? 568 00:33:58,450 --> 00:34:02,241 Yeah, you know... a woman, you get it. 569 00:34:02,450 --> 00:34:05,200 I defend you and you attack me! The nerve... 570 00:34:05,408 --> 00:34:06,241 Fuck this. 571 00:34:06,449 --> 00:34:07,408 A "female." 572 00:34:08,532 --> 00:34:10,909 Honestly, you told that story really well. 573 00:34:11,117 --> 00:34:15,158 But sorry, pal, I know one 1,500 times scarier. 574 00:34:15,366 --> 00:34:16,325 How much? 575 00:34:16,533 --> 00:34:17,909 I swear, you'll see. 576 00:34:18,117 --> 00:34:21,283 Tales of the Crypt isn't my thing. I'm going to bed. 577 00:34:21,825 --> 00:34:23,992 Wait, listen to mine at least. 578 00:34:24,199 --> 00:34:26,325 Stay. There's no rush. 579 00:34:26,532 --> 00:34:28,532 This is fun, like boy scouts. 580 00:34:28,867 --> 00:34:30,200 What's worse than scouts? 581 00:34:30,492 --> 00:34:31,949 I know, I was kidding. 582 00:34:32,450 --> 00:34:33,533 Come on, stay. 583 00:34:34,034 --> 00:34:36,492 Why the bad mood? You're not happy here? 584 00:34:36,700 --> 00:34:38,825 Lay off me! I'm not in a bad mood. 585 00:34:39,532 --> 00:34:41,200 Tell it, so we can sleep. 586 00:34:42,408 --> 00:34:44,075 Great atmosphere! Nice. 587 00:34:44,658 --> 00:34:45,700 Go on, tell it. 588 00:34:47,241 --> 00:34:50,450 Hold on tight, with me, you're in for a bumpy ride. 589 00:34:51,241 --> 00:34:52,992 - It starts like this... - Wait! 590 00:34:54,408 --> 00:34:55,867 Look, there's a girl there. 591 00:34:58,658 --> 00:35:00,992 - That freaks me out for real. - Yeah. 592 00:35:01,450 --> 00:35:02,742 The Exorcist. 593 00:35:03,034 --> 00:35:04,034 Hi. 594 00:35:04,658 --> 00:35:05,784 Come, don't be afraid. 595 00:35:06,408 --> 00:35:07,450 Why is she here? 596 00:35:11,867 --> 00:35:12,867 Hey. 597 00:35:14,158 --> 00:35:16,283 You're so pretty. What's your name? 598 00:35:16,784 --> 00:35:17,784 Josette. 599 00:35:18,158 --> 00:35:19,950 What are you doing here, Josette? 600 00:35:20,658 --> 00:35:21,658 Nothing. 601 00:35:21,867 --> 00:35:23,909 It's late to be out alone like this. 602 00:35:24,116 --> 00:35:25,283 Where are your parents? 603 00:35:26,116 --> 00:35:27,158 At home. 604 00:35:27,867 --> 00:35:28,950 Where is your home? 605 00:35:30,034 --> 00:35:32,366 Why are you wearing weird outfits? 606 00:35:32,950 --> 00:35:35,241 Well actually, we're avengers. 607 00:35:35,700 --> 00:35:36,533 Understand? 608 00:35:36,742 --> 00:35:39,325 Look, we're all sitting around the fire. 609 00:35:40,992 --> 00:35:42,992 - Want to come? - I don't know. 610 00:36:23,408 --> 00:36:24,867 How we treat bad guys. 611 00:36:25,533 --> 00:36:26,492 Cool, isn't it? 612 00:36:26,700 --> 00:36:29,116 It's a rubber monster. It's all mushy. 613 00:36:30,241 --> 00:36:32,492 What? I ripped his head off for real. 614 00:36:32,867 --> 00:36:34,742 I still think it's crap, sir. 615 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:36,158 Crap? 616 00:36:37,450 --> 00:36:39,950 We save humanity and you call it crap? 617 00:36:40,325 --> 00:36:43,033 Lay off her! It's stupid to show her that. 618 00:36:43,241 --> 00:36:44,575 Must she say "crap"? 619 00:36:45,283 --> 00:36:47,075 She's too little to understand. 620 00:36:47,283 --> 00:36:49,200 You can't show her that, idiot! 621 00:36:49,408 --> 00:36:52,700 Calm down! This is a seminar, but I'm your boss! 622 00:36:52,950 --> 00:36:53,909 Great cohesion, guys. 623 00:36:54,116 --> 00:36:56,909 Cut it out. What will she think of adults? 624 00:36:57,325 --> 00:36:58,742 I don't like adults anyway. 625 00:36:59,617 --> 00:37:00,617 Evening. 626 00:37:02,367 --> 00:37:03,742 Hello. 627 00:37:04,241 --> 00:37:07,450 Sorry, the campfire attracted her. She's curious. 628 00:37:08,408 --> 00:37:09,742 We live 200 meters away. 629 00:37:09,950 --> 00:37:12,241 Just there. Sorry to have bothered you. 630 00:37:12,659 --> 00:37:15,617 It's no bother, and she's so cute. 631 00:37:15,825 --> 00:37:16,700 - Yes. - Thank you. 632 00:37:16,909 --> 00:37:18,200 Are you on vacation? 633 00:37:18,784 --> 00:37:20,575 More or less. We're not working. 634 00:37:20,784 --> 00:37:22,991 We're telling scary stories. 635 00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:24,742 Want to stay for mine? 636 00:37:24,950 --> 00:37:26,825 Why not? We'd love to. 637 00:37:27,033 --> 00:37:29,909 Josette loves scary stories. Right? 638 00:37:30,116 --> 00:37:33,325 I love them. I know a terrifying one, if you want. 639 00:37:33,575 --> 00:37:35,867 Go on, tell it, sweetie. 640 00:37:37,408 --> 00:37:38,950 It's my turn, actually. 641 00:37:39,450 --> 00:37:40,700 Tell it, sweetie. 642 00:37:41,950 --> 00:37:43,575 It happened nearby. 643 00:37:43,867 --> 00:37:44,909 In the lake. 644 00:37:46,700 --> 00:37:49,116 A nice fish was out swimming, 645 00:37:49,450 --> 00:37:50,659 like every day. 646 00:37:51,784 --> 00:37:53,408 Looking for food. 647 00:37:54,325 --> 00:37:55,742 But the water was cloudy. 648 00:37:55,950 --> 00:37:57,742 The fish couldn't see much. 649 00:38:00,825 --> 00:38:03,825 So he decided to go up to the surface 650 00:38:04,075 --> 00:38:05,200 to get some air. 651 00:38:07,116 --> 00:38:08,116 And there... 652 00:38:10,742 --> 00:38:12,784 he saw something awful. 653 00:38:26,033 --> 00:38:26,950 That's it. 654 00:38:29,659 --> 00:38:31,158 So depressing. 655 00:38:31,367 --> 00:38:32,325 Seriously. 656 00:38:32,533 --> 00:38:33,825 Is it real or made up? 657 00:38:34,033 --> 00:38:36,200 - No, it's true. - She made it up. 658 00:38:36,492 --> 00:38:38,492 We'll leave you, it's late. Coming? 659 00:38:39,408 --> 00:38:40,867 We'll stop bothering you. 660 00:38:41,075 --> 00:38:42,367 - See you later. - Goodbye. 661 00:38:42,575 --> 00:38:44,534 - Goodbye. - Goodnight. 662 00:38:46,033 --> 00:38:48,991 Are we good? You got your dose of depression? 663 00:38:50,825 --> 00:38:51,825 Oh, yeah. 664 00:38:52,033 --> 00:38:53,950 I'm exhausted. Bedtime! 665 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,116 We'll have nightmares after this. 666 00:38:56,784 --> 00:38:58,991 Seriously, can I tell mine fast? 667 00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:02,033 You can't go on after her. The kid killed us. 668 00:39:02,492 --> 00:39:03,575 Yeah, drop it. 669 00:39:04,075 --> 00:39:05,534 Bedtime, Tobacco Force. 670 00:40:18,742 --> 00:40:19,617 Good evening. 671 00:40:19,825 --> 00:40:22,117 - Sorry. - No worries, that's why I'm here. 672 00:40:22,908 --> 00:40:24,908 Happen to have sleeping pills? 673 00:40:25,117 --> 00:40:26,700 We don't have that. 674 00:40:27,033 --> 00:40:28,783 No? Okay, shit, too bad. 675 00:40:29,033 --> 00:40:30,492 I can't fall asleep, so... 676 00:40:31,991 --> 00:40:33,659 I thought you may have pills. 677 00:40:33,908 --> 00:40:34,742 Nope. 678 00:40:34,950 --> 00:40:39,117 Anything you want to eat or drink, 24/7, but that's all. 679 00:40:40,700 --> 00:40:43,700 But otherwise... Maybe we could... 680 00:40:43,908 --> 00:40:46,408 No pressure, but since they're asleep... 681 00:40:46,950 --> 00:40:47,825 Yes? 682 00:40:48,283 --> 00:40:51,991 I was thinking... you must get bored in there. 683 00:40:52,283 --> 00:40:55,950 Since I can't sleep, we could grab a drink. 684 00:40:57,283 --> 00:40:58,242 Meaning? 685 00:40:58,534 --> 00:41:00,534 We could crack open a bottle. 686 00:41:00,741 --> 00:41:02,242 You come out of your closet... 687 00:41:03,033 --> 00:41:05,450 and have a drink, the two of us. 688 00:41:05,783 --> 00:41:07,450 Why not, after all? 689 00:41:09,117 --> 00:41:12,242 You want pills or a drink with me? I'm confused. 690 00:41:12,450 --> 00:41:15,825 Actually, I first came for sleeping pills. 691 00:41:16,409 --> 00:41:19,367 And now, seeing you, I had another idea. 692 00:41:19,825 --> 00:41:20,825 All right. 693 00:41:21,033 --> 00:41:24,033 FYI, I'm not a pharmacist, and less so, a whore. 694 00:41:24,534 --> 00:41:25,534 Goodnight. 695 00:41:29,409 --> 00:41:30,367 Goodnight. 696 00:41:39,075 --> 00:41:40,492 No fucking way! 697 00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:42,075 I don't believe you. 698 00:41:42,283 --> 00:41:44,075 Don't tell anyone. I trust you. 699 00:41:44,283 --> 00:41:45,325 Are you serious? 700 00:41:45,534 --> 00:41:48,367 I am! Look, I'm shaking just talking to you. 701 00:41:48,575 --> 00:41:50,033 Holy shit. 702 00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,242 I never felt anything so strong. 703 00:41:53,450 --> 00:41:55,659 I'm confused, I'm a total wreck. 704 00:41:55,866 --> 00:41:57,200 It's why I'm telling you. 705 00:41:57,659 --> 00:41:58,617 Guys! 706 00:41:59,242 --> 00:42:00,492 I'm going for a swim. 707 00:42:01,450 --> 00:42:02,783 - You want to come? - No. 708 00:42:03,075 --> 00:42:03,950 Perfect temperature! 709 00:42:04,825 --> 00:42:06,367 No, we're having a talk. 710 00:42:06,575 --> 00:42:07,575 Yeah, no... 711 00:42:08,700 --> 00:42:10,283 Sorry for the cool suggestion. 712 00:42:14,492 --> 00:42:16,409 And so yesterday... 713 00:42:16,950 --> 00:42:19,200 I called him to ask about Norbert. 714 00:42:20,075 --> 00:42:21,617 And then, fuck... 715 00:42:22,158 --> 00:42:23,200 I saw... 716 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:26,117 He was with a woman in his bed. 717 00:42:27,242 --> 00:42:28,242 A woman? 718 00:42:28,617 --> 00:42:29,575 Who was it? 719 00:42:29,783 --> 00:42:31,575 I don't know, who cares? 720 00:42:32,117 --> 00:42:33,950 I was totally heartbroken. 721 00:42:34,700 --> 00:42:36,200 I spent a terrible night. 722 00:42:36,409 --> 00:42:38,409 So I wrote him a love letter... 723 00:42:38,617 --> 00:42:40,825 - It's stupid. - It is. 724 00:42:49,866 --> 00:42:51,200 Hold on for a sec. 725 00:42:51,492 --> 00:42:53,866 Imagine you let your desire play out. 726 00:42:54,325 --> 00:42:57,242 It must be pretty strange to sleep with him. 727 00:42:58,409 --> 00:43:00,534 I don't know, I've never done it. 728 00:43:00,741 --> 00:43:02,284 But you've already kissed. 729 00:43:02,992 --> 00:43:05,325 - Yes... obviously. - So imagine. 730 00:43:06,409 --> 00:43:07,700 Imagine kissing him. 731 00:43:08,284 --> 00:43:10,908 With green goo dripping from his mouth. 732 00:43:11,117 --> 00:43:12,284 It must be gross. 733 00:43:14,492 --> 00:43:16,616 I hadn't thought so far in ahead. 734 00:43:17,075 --> 00:43:17,992 What is it? 735 00:43:18,325 --> 00:43:21,992 It could be detergent... or acid. 736 00:43:22,616 --> 00:43:25,117 Want that in your mouth when you kiss? 737 00:43:25,908 --> 00:43:28,616 You're right. It's disgusting! 738 00:43:29,700 --> 00:43:33,492 What an idiot. Why didn't I think of that? Whatever! 739 00:43:33,700 --> 00:43:35,158 Yeah, whatever, honey. 740 00:43:36,033 --> 00:43:38,658 Maybe look for someone who looks like you. 741 00:43:39,033 --> 00:43:40,075 Like someone human. 742 00:43:40,492 --> 00:43:41,616 You're right! 743 00:43:43,075 --> 00:43:44,575 There, it's done. 744 00:43:45,367 --> 00:43:47,325 I'm not in love with him anymore. 745 00:43:47,534 --> 00:43:48,741 - You sure? - Yeah! 746 00:43:49,409 --> 00:43:51,450 It's over. I feel nothing now. 747 00:43:52,825 --> 00:43:54,700 Thanks, I'll toss the letter. 748 00:43:54,908 --> 00:43:57,409 You opened my eyes. I was totally lost! 749 00:43:57,534 --> 00:43:58,450 Thanks. 750 00:43:58,658 --> 00:44:00,033 Whenever you want. 751 00:44:02,658 --> 00:44:03,741 Look at this! 752 00:44:06,450 --> 00:44:07,575 I caught a barracuda. 753 00:44:39,658 --> 00:44:40,575 Hey, you. 754 00:44:43,700 --> 00:44:44,575 Welcome. 755 00:44:48,533 --> 00:44:50,616 Today I turned on my computer. 756 00:44:50,908 --> 00:44:54,033 I found the scariest story of all time and all universes. 757 00:44:54,242 --> 00:44:56,325 No, spare us, not that again! 758 00:44:56,533 --> 00:44:57,867 I started a contest. 759 00:44:58,075 --> 00:45:00,409 This goes beyond contests. Wanna hear? 760 00:45:00,616 --> 00:45:02,867 - Sure. - Let's discuss positive stuff. 761 00:45:03,075 --> 00:45:05,491 - Yeah, I agree, this is sick. - No... 762 00:45:05,700 --> 00:45:07,575 Not cool. I was so excited. 763 00:45:07,783 --> 00:45:08,741 Here! 764 00:45:09,992 --> 00:45:10,825 Thanks. 765 00:45:11,033 --> 00:45:12,783 So I did a search for nothing. 766 00:45:12,992 --> 00:45:15,575 We have a week. Plenty of time for your story. 767 00:45:15,783 --> 00:45:16,658 Ah, okay. 768 00:45:16,825 --> 00:45:18,658 Wait, guys, I only just realized. 769 00:45:18,992 --> 00:45:21,200 We haven't spoken to our new teammate. 770 00:45:21,658 --> 00:45:22,533 Very uncool. 771 00:45:23,825 --> 00:45:25,075 Norbert 1200, come. 772 00:45:26,242 --> 00:45:28,033 Tell us a little about yourself. 773 00:45:28,950 --> 00:45:30,117 Happy to be here? 774 00:45:30,533 --> 00:45:32,075 I am Norbert 1200. 775 00:45:32,908 --> 00:45:34,200 Your new assistant. 776 00:45:35,491 --> 00:45:36,741 Yeah. And? 777 00:45:38,616 --> 00:45:40,575 - He seems less lively. - A lot less. 778 00:45:41,117 --> 00:45:42,867 Did you hear my question? 779 00:45:44,117 --> 00:45:45,200 I am happy 780 00:45:45,908 --> 00:45:47,033 to have joined... 781 00:45:47,533 --> 00:45:48,409 the Tobacco Force. 782 00:45:51,450 --> 00:45:54,325 Work on your language skills. I'll check my barracuda. 783 00:45:54,616 --> 00:45:55,950 He's not working at all. 784 00:45:56,159 --> 00:45:57,284 Forget it. 785 00:45:57,491 --> 00:45:59,450 Isn't this an upgrade? 786 00:45:59,658 --> 00:46:01,575 - It's the 1200. - That means nothing. 787 00:46:02,867 --> 00:46:04,075 That's not true. 788 00:46:04,491 --> 00:46:06,367 I think it's just numbers. 789 00:46:08,159 --> 00:46:08,992 Fuck! 790 00:46:10,658 --> 00:46:12,658 I also have a terrible story to tell. 791 00:46:14,242 --> 00:46:15,367 What the fuck? It talks! 792 00:46:15,783 --> 00:46:16,741 Listen to me. 793 00:46:17,700 --> 00:46:19,741 It takes place somewhere in France. 794 00:46:23,242 --> 00:46:24,200 Yeah? 795 00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:27,867 I understand totally. 796 00:46:28,367 --> 00:46:29,242 Yeah! 797 00:46:29,783 --> 00:46:32,075 Okay, so I'm going to check... 798 00:46:32,284 --> 00:46:35,450 I'll check the crew schedules and get back to you. 799 00:46:35,658 --> 00:46:36,742 But I can't... 800 00:46:36,950 --> 00:46:38,908 No, I have to check first... 801 00:46:39,992 --> 00:46:42,533 We got a major problem. We need you! 802 00:46:42,783 --> 00:46:44,491 - What? - Come fast. 803 00:46:44,700 --> 00:46:46,408 - Tell me what it is. - Come! 804 00:46:46,616 --> 00:46:48,992 We have a problem. I'll call you back. 805 00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:50,242 Yeah... bye. 806 00:46:51,367 --> 00:46:53,825 - What is it? - Come, it's a nightmare! 807 00:46:54,867 --> 00:46:55,992 Pain in the ass! 808 00:46:57,450 --> 00:46:58,367 Hurry. 809 00:46:59,533 --> 00:47:00,742 Come. 810 00:47:09,450 --> 00:47:11,450 Look at the mess he got into. 811 00:47:18,533 --> 00:47:20,742 - What did you do, Michael? - Nothing. 812 00:47:20,992 --> 00:47:23,325 We were loading debris. A beam got stuck. 813 00:47:23,533 --> 00:47:26,034 - I pushed on it to... - Why? 814 00:47:26,242 --> 00:47:27,533 To force it in. Sorry. 815 00:47:27,950 --> 00:47:28,783 Sorry. 816 00:47:28,992 --> 00:47:30,075 This really sucks. 817 00:47:30,284 --> 00:47:31,658 This sucks bigtime. 818 00:47:31,908 --> 00:47:33,950 Did you run the motor backwards? 819 00:47:34,366 --> 00:47:37,325 Your nephew is your problem. He's uninsured. 820 00:47:37,700 --> 00:47:39,575 Okay, yeah, I see. 821 00:47:39,992 --> 00:47:41,450 Okay, fine... 822 00:47:42,034 --> 00:47:43,867 I'll do this. We all stay calm. 823 00:47:44,325 --> 00:47:45,742 I'm fine. I'm not in pain. 824 00:47:45,950 --> 00:47:47,366 No pain? You fucking kidding? 825 00:47:47,867 --> 00:47:49,117 No, I'm okay, I swear. 826 00:47:49,366 --> 00:47:50,491 There's some blood. 827 00:47:50,700 --> 00:47:54,200 Guys, don't add to the stress with stupid comments! 828 00:47:54,408 --> 00:47:56,575 Yeah, there's blood, it's a mess! 829 00:47:57,284 --> 00:47:59,325 Can I concentrate for a second? 830 00:48:01,491 --> 00:48:02,450 So... 831 00:48:04,284 --> 00:48:05,325 This is forward. 832 00:48:06,992 --> 00:48:07,908 Yeah. 833 00:48:08,117 --> 00:48:09,284 We'll run it backwards. 834 00:48:10,117 --> 00:48:11,825 Right? Got any other ideas? 835 00:48:12,034 --> 00:48:13,825 I won't decide. It's your call. 836 00:48:14,366 --> 00:48:15,908 Okay, great. Thanks. 837 00:48:16,742 --> 00:48:17,825 Michael! 838 00:48:18,366 --> 00:48:19,992 I'll try reversing the motor. 839 00:48:20,450 --> 00:48:22,533 You'll hear the machine running, 840 00:48:22,742 --> 00:48:24,825 but don't worry, it'll go backwards. 841 00:48:25,034 --> 00:48:26,867 So it should unblock you. 842 00:48:27,159 --> 00:48:27,992 Okay? 843 00:48:28,159 --> 00:48:29,075 It's all good. 844 00:48:29,283 --> 00:48:31,408 All good? Right, it's all great! 845 00:48:31,617 --> 00:48:33,366 How do I tell your mom if you're crippled? 846 00:48:34,366 --> 00:48:35,200 Sorry, Auntie. 847 00:48:35,867 --> 00:48:36,825 I wanted to help. 848 00:48:37,034 --> 00:48:39,034 Yeah, well you didn't. You blew it. 849 00:48:40,700 --> 00:48:41,742 Here we go. 850 00:48:49,783 --> 00:48:51,783 Cut the motor! It's not in reverse! 851 00:48:51,992 --> 00:48:53,283 Oh, my God! 852 00:48:54,408 --> 00:48:56,658 Good job! A wheelchair, for sure. 853 00:48:56,867 --> 00:48:58,325 - You're a pain. - For sure. 854 00:48:58,533 --> 00:48:59,491 Make yourself useful! 855 00:48:59,783 --> 00:49:03,450 Go get the instruction manual from my filing cabinet. 856 00:49:03,658 --> 00:49:04,908 And make it fast! 857 00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:09,200 I can't believe it! 858 00:49:09,909 --> 00:49:11,867 No, but... don't worry, Auntie. 859 00:49:12,117 --> 00:49:13,159 It doesn't hurt. 860 00:49:13,450 --> 00:49:15,992 - I'm fine. - Stop it! You're not fine! 861 00:49:16,325 --> 00:49:19,034 The info hasn't made its way to your brain! 862 00:49:19,241 --> 00:49:22,200 This doesn't bode well. It's gonna hurt at some point. 863 00:49:23,450 --> 00:49:26,825 Don't stand there like idiots. Get mops and clean up. 864 00:49:27,408 --> 00:49:28,283 This is crazy. 865 00:49:28,783 --> 00:49:31,783 Those dummies must have hooked it up backwards. 866 00:49:32,034 --> 00:49:33,909 "Forward" must be "reverse." 867 00:49:34,658 --> 00:49:37,159 - Maybe, yeah. - Yeah... maybe. 868 00:49:38,825 --> 00:49:40,491 I'll give it a try, Michael. 869 00:49:40,700 --> 00:49:42,575 If it doesn't work, I'll stop it. 870 00:49:43,408 --> 00:49:44,450 Hold on. 871 00:49:44,825 --> 00:49:45,783 Ready. 872 00:50:04,950 --> 00:50:07,533 I know you don't want me to say I'm fine, 873 00:50:07,742 --> 00:50:09,491 and I don't want to piss you off, 874 00:50:09,783 --> 00:50:12,241 but chill out. I'm fine, I swear. 875 00:50:12,450 --> 00:50:14,241 Keep quiet, shut your mouth! 876 00:50:14,491 --> 00:50:17,992 You're half a human being. Stop saying you're fucking fine! 877 00:50:19,909 --> 00:50:21,325 Here's what it says, 878 00:50:22,700 --> 00:50:25,658 "Hold the green button down for three seconds." 879 00:50:25,867 --> 00:50:28,241 Great. Can you do it for me, please? 880 00:50:28,450 --> 00:50:30,075 This is your headache, sorry. 881 00:50:30,283 --> 00:50:32,575 Please, you're lucid. I'm panicking. 882 00:50:32,783 --> 00:50:35,533 This isn't my problem. You're in charge. 883 00:50:35,742 --> 00:50:38,325 Please. His mom's birthday is tonight. 884 00:50:38,533 --> 00:50:41,075 I'm supposed to take him. How do I manage? 885 00:50:41,283 --> 00:50:43,241 Telling my sister that her son... 886 00:50:43,450 --> 00:50:44,366 Wait. 887 00:50:44,575 --> 00:50:47,158 I don't care. This is your mess, not mine. 888 00:50:47,366 --> 00:50:49,658 Deal with it. I won't touch a thing. 889 00:50:50,241 --> 00:50:51,366 You guys good? 890 00:50:51,909 --> 00:50:55,783 You hit the jackpot, 50 euros for whoever presses the button. 891 00:50:55,992 --> 00:50:58,783 No way, my guys won't solve your problem! 892 00:50:59,492 --> 00:51:01,950 You're gonna man up, grow some balls, 893 00:51:02,158 --> 00:51:04,909 and get him out so we can get back to work 894 00:51:05,283 --> 00:51:06,158 Move it! 895 00:51:16,283 --> 00:51:17,575 What's the procedure? 896 00:51:17,992 --> 00:51:19,575 Three seconds, green button. 897 00:51:23,116 --> 00:51:26,366 Michael, I don't want to hear you say you're fine. 898 00:51:26,658 --> 00:51:28,784 Because I'm going haywire here. 899 00:51:29,075 --> 00:51:30,116 Keep quiet. 900 00:51:31,241 --> 00:51:32,200 Here I go. 901 00:51:38,492 --> 00:51:40,158 - Is that three seconds? - Yes. 902 00:51:44,700 --> 00:51:46,075 Okay, it's working. 903 00:52:03,533 --> 00:52:05,241 Yes, Tony, it's me. 904 00:52:06,241 --> 00:52:08,867 Just checking about your allergies. 905 00:52:09,075 --> 00:52:12,366 I can't remember if cacao or coffee is the culprit. 906 00:52:12,658 --> 00:52:15,784 And since I'm buying a cake for tonight, 907 00:52:16,075 --> 00:52:17,742 I was wondering. 908 00:52:18,283 --> 00:52:20,825 Try to call back quickly, if you can. 909 00:52:21,158 --> 00:52:25,825 And ask Michael to bring me the sweater I left at his place. 910 00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:27,533 I like it a lot. 911 00:52:27,784 --> 00:52:28,784 See you soon. 912 00:52:31,700 --> 00:52:32,950 You okay? 913 00:52:34,158 --> 00:52:37,533 I don't really know how to say this... 914 00:52:37,825 --> 00:52:38,658 What? 915 00:52:38,867 --> 00:52:41,075 Come see. It's really sick. 916 00:52:45,909 --> 00:52:47,617 My guys scooped it all up. 917 00:52:47,867 --> 00:52:48,700 Fuck. 918 00:52:48,909 --> 00:52:49,742 Alright. 919 00:52:49,950 --> 00:52:50,950 It's awful, 920 00:52:51,158 --> 00:52:53,283 but in the end, it does get better. 921 00:52:53,992 --> 00:52:54,950 Come! 922 00:52:56,075 --> 00:52:56,909 What? 923 00:52:57,158 --> 00:52:59,950 It's gross, I'm not going to lie... 924 00:53:00,158 --> 00:53:01,325 but wait and see. 925 00:53:02,241 --> 00:53:03,367 What is it? 926 00:53:07,867 --> 00:53:09,283 Why show this to me? 927 00:53:09,867 --> 00:53:11,950 Wait, look... Michael! 928 00:53:12,909 --> 00:53:13,909 Yeah? 929 00:53:15,492 --> 00:53:16,617 Seriously? 930 00:53:17,991 --> 00:53:21,991 Michael, I'm with your aunt, who's a little in shock. 931 00:53:22,283 --> 00:53:25,991 Tell her what you told me, to reassure her. 932 00:53:26,617 --> 00:53:27,450 Aunt Tony? 933 00:53:28,742 --> 00:53:31,408 What I put you through was very uncool, 934 00:53:31,617 --> 00:53:33,575 and I'm really sorry. 935 00:53:33,909 --> 00:53:36,408 But I want you to know I'm feeling fine. 936 00:53:36,617 --> 00:53:38,700 Holy fucking shit! 937 00:53:38,909 --> 00:53:39,991 Crazy, huh? 938 00:53:40,533 --> 00:53:42,450 It's true that I've changed. 939 00:53:42,909 --> 00:53:45,991 I can't walk around, I can't see, it's weird. 940 00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:48,241 But I swear, I feel great. 941 00:53:48,617 --> 00:53:51,617 It's no big deal. You must put it in perspective. 942 00:53:52,450 --> 00:53:53,659 Take him for a bit. 943 00:53:54,450 --> 00:53:56,408 He's your nephew! Take him. 944 00:54:01,867 --> 00:54:03,367 Say something! 945 00:54:05,325 --> 00:54:07,450 - Michael? - Yeah, I'm here. 946 00:54:10,408 --> 00:54:11,867 Hug me against you, please. 947 00:54:14,158 --> 00:54:14,991 There. 948 00:54:17,283 --> 00:54:18,492 It's wonderful. 949 00:54:19,325 --> 00:54:20,533 I feel your warmth. 950 00:54:20,784 --> 00:54:21,784 Yeah, okay. 951 00:54:22,158 --> 00:54:23,367 It's very reassuring. 952 00:54:24,950 --> 00:54:26,200 Tell me you're not angry. 953 00:54:27,325 --> 00:54:28,700 I don't know, I... 954 00:54:29,867 --> 00:54:30,909 I'm not angry. 955 00:54:32,408 --> 00:54:33,283 Great. 956 00:54:33,909 --> 00:54:35,033 I love you, Auntie. 957 00:54:35,950 --> 00:54:37,575 I like you a lot too. 958 00:54:38,075 --> 00:54:40,742 All's well that ends well. I'll go. 959 00:54:41,033 --> 00:54:43,242 We have to get to work, we're behind. 960 00:54:44,158 --> 00:54:46,116 Good luck, boss. See you Monday. 961 00:54:46,367 --> 00:54:47,492 Bye, guys. 962 00:54:48,116 --> 00:54:49,116 See you Monday. 963 00:55:01,325 --> 00:55:04,283 What a mess! Don't you ever tidy up, Michael? 964 00:55:04,575 --> 00:55:06,867 I haven't had time, I'm sorry. 965 00:55:07,742 --> 00:55:11,867 Near my desk is a pink sweater with a flower embroidered on it. 966 00:55:12,784 --> 00:55:13,991 I see it. 967 00:55:17,283 --> 00:55:18,450 This is cute. 968 00:55:18,867 --> 00:55:19,700 What? 969 00:55:20,158 --> 00:55:22,283 A picture of us on the desk. 970 00:55:23,700 --> 00:55:25,033 When was this? 971 00:55:26,158 --> 00:55:27,158 Oh yeah. 972 00:55:27,742 --> 00:55:29,283 Dad's funeral, I think. 973 00:55:29,700 --> 00:55:31,033 Oh yeah! 974 00:55:31,325 --> 00:55:33,116 Nice pic. I look good in it. 975 00:55:33,325 --> 00:55:35,116 Yeah... I love it. 976 00:55:35,367 --> 00:55:36,450 I always look at it. 977 00:55:36,659 --> 00:55:39,283 I'm moved that you have it on your desk. 978 00:55:39,950 --> 00:55:41,116 See the sweater? 979 00:55:41,534 --> 00:55:43,492 Yes, affirmative. I see it. 980 00:55:45,242 --> 00:55:46,242 It's all good. 981 00:55:59,325 --> 00:56:02,033 When your mother was pregnant with you, 982 00:56:02,283 --> 00:56:04,325 I went berserk, I told her, 983 00:56:04,617 --> 00:56:07,534 "Nicole, are you responsible enough to have a kid? 984 00:56:07,742 --> 00:56:09,450 You can't even knit socks." 985 00:56:09,866 --> 00:56:11,534 She took it really badly. 986 00:56:11,784 --> 00:56:12,617 Yeah. 987 00:56:12,908 --> 00:56:13,866 Yep. 988 00:56:14,866 --> 00:56:16,075 Now here you are. 989 00:56:16,283 --> 00:56:17,659 Life is really crazy. 990 00:56:19,116 --> 00:56:20,784 You don't need socks now. 991 00:56:22,950 --> 00:56:24,116 Can I have a puff? 992 00:56:25,700 --> 00:56:27,200 Can I have a puff of that? 993 00:56:27,950 --> 00:56:29,116 Yeah, why not? 994 00:56:29,784 --> 00:56:31,367 Don't tell your mother. 995 00:56:34,908 --> 00:56:37,825 It won't feel the same without lungs. 996 00:56:41,450 --> 00:56:42,575 Take it back? 997 00:56:46,408 --> 00:56:47,325 Thanks. 998 00:56:50,700 --> 00:56:51,534 Another one? 999 00:56:53,408 --> 00:56:55,117 It's making my head spin. 1000 00:56:56,950 --> 00:56:58,033 I need to puke. 1001 00:56:58,242 --> 00:57:00,617 What? No, not in the car! Wait. 1002 00:57:19,825 --> 00:57:20,783 Go on, let it out. 1003 00:57:25,283 --> 00:57:26,117 Sorry. 1004 00:57:26,325 --> 00:57:28,117 Come on, relax, it's normal. 1005 00:57:28,450 --> 00:57:31,617 It's crazy how this accident is making us bond. 1006 00:57:31,908 --> 00:57:34,908 I always considered you a second mother. 1007 00:57:35,200 --> 00:57:37,367 - Don't talk crap. - I swear. 1008 00:57:41,325 --> 00:57:42,283 It'll be fine. 1009 00:57:43,659 --> 00:57:44,659 It'll be fine. 1010 00:57:46,158 --> 00:57:48,325 My nephew, it's not your day. 1011 00:57:56,158 --> 00:57:57,283 I'm not ready. 1012 00:57:58,700 --> 00:58:01,617 I always sucked at announcing bad news. 1013 00:58:02,075 --> 00:58:05,659 Relax, we'll tell the truth. She'll understand, she's smart. 1014 00:58:05,991 --> 00:58:07,575 I don't know, really. 1015 00:58:09,409 --> 00:58:10,700 We'll blame it on me. 1016 00:58:11,492 --> 00:58:13,617 It's true. It's not your fault. 1017 00:58:13,991 --> 00:58:15,866 I fucked up, I have to own it. 1018 00:58:16,158 --> 00:58:17,866 I'm alive. That's what matters. 1019 00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:19,200 Yeah, you're right. 1020 00:58:19,409 --> 00:58:21,534 Go on, it'll be fine. Trust me. 1021 00:58:21,741 --> 00:58:22,659 Yeah. 1022 00:58:23,158 --> 00:58:25,075 - How old is she? - Fifty-two. 1023 00:58:27,117 --> 00:58:28,700 - You fucked up. - Exactly! 1024 00:58:28,908 --> 00:58:31,200 You shouldn't have set foot in that machine. 1025 00:58:31,741 --> 00:58:32,741 I fucked up. 1026 00:58:33,033 --> 00:58:34,033 You're an idiot. 1027 00:58:50,409 --> 00:58:51,783 What's going on, Auntie? 1028 00:58:54,534 --> 00:58:57,283 No, no, no, no! No, no! 1029 00:58:57,825 --> 00:59:00,367 Come! Come here! 1030 00:59:00,950 --> 00:59:01,866 Hi. 1031 00:59:07,825 --> 00:59:08,825 What next? 1032 00:59:09,117 --> 00:59:09,950 Then? 1033 00:59:10,158 --> 00:59:11,908 Forget it, it's burnt. 1034 00:59:13,450 --> 00:59:14,367 Done. 1035 00:59:14,617 --> 00:59:17,783 So sad! Poor thing didn't even finish his story. 1036 00:59:18,075 --> 00:59:19,450 Your barracuda sucks. 1037 00:59:19,700 --> 00:59:22,117 We can't even eat it now. Look! 1038 00:59:22,325 --> 00:59:23,950 Personally, I found... 1039 00:59:25,283 --> 00:59:26,200 this story... 1040 00:59:26,992 --> 00:59:28,409 very amusing. 1041 00:59:35,117 --> 00:59:36,075 Come on. 1042 00:59:36,534 --> 00:59:37,658 Three rounds, come on. 1043 00:59:37,992 --> 00:59:38,825 Ready. 1044 00:59:39,033 --> 00:59:40,409 One, two, three. 1045 00:59:40,658 --> 00:59:42,200 Spider, bird, frying pan. 1046 00:59:43,117 --> 00:59:44,866 -Frying pan cooks the bird. -Okay. 1047 00:59:45,117 --> 00:59:45,950 Let's go. 1048 00:59:46,158 --> 00:59:47,200 One, two, three. 1049 00:59:47,409 --> 00:59:48,825 Spider, bird, frying pan. 1050 00:59:50,284 --> 00:59:52,033 It's close, I like the suspense. 1051 00:59:52,616 --> 00:59:53,450 Okay. 1052 00:59:53,783 --> 00:59:54,908 One, two, three. 1053 00:59:55,242 --> 00:59:56,741 Spider, bird, frying pan. 1054 00:59:57,200 --> 00:59:58,992 Spider eats spider. I killed you. 1055 00:59:59,242 --> 01:00:01,325 - Spider eats spider? - Obviously. 1056 01:00:01,575 --> 01:00:03,616 - I win. - One more game. 1057 01:00:03,908 --> 01:00:06,325 Three rounds. Get ready! 1058 01:00:06,741 --> 01:00:08,033 INCOMING VIDEO CALL 1059 01:00:12,866 --> 01:00:13,741 Going, Nicotine? 1060 01:00:14,700 --> 01:00:15,575 Why always me? 1061 01:00:15,825 --> 01:00:16,741 You go! 1062 01:00:17,409 --> 01:00:20,033 I'm uncomfortable face-to-face with the Chief. 1063 01:00:20,534 --> 01:00:23,492 - So let's not answer. - Maybe it's important. 1064 01:00:23,783 --> 01:00:27,158 Hurry up, tell him we're busy. The Chief's a pain. 1065 01:00:35,908 --> 01:00:39,158 And tell him we want a robot that works! 1066 01:00:40,409 --> 01:00:41,492 Good thinking. 1067 01:00:47,367 --> 01:00:48,367 Hey, you. 1068 01:00:49,367 --> 01:00:50,242 Hello, Ammonia. 1069 01:00:50,450 --> 01:00:52,242 I'm alone, you can talk normal. 1070 01:00:52,741 --> 01:00:54,158 So? Do you miss me? 1071 01:00:54,450 --> 01:00:55,908 Ammonia, my little kitty. 1072 01:00:56,284 --> 01:00:58,450 I'm not in the mood. It's something else. 1073 01:00:58,658 --> 01:00:59,741 Right. 1074 01:00:59,950 --> 01:01:00,992 Stop pretending. 1075 01:01:01,658 --> 01:01:04,992 In five minutes, I can get you hot and horny. 1076 01:01:05,700 --> 01:01:06,783 Forget it. 1077 01:01:08,033 --> 01:01:10,409 You had someone in your bed last night. 1078 01:01:11,158 --> 01:01:12,325 Who was that whore? 1079 01:01:12,533 --> 01:01:15,158 It's not the right time. Forget the frivolity. 1080 01:01:15,575 --> 01:01:17,783 The situation is serious, very serious. 1081 01:01:17,992 --> 01:01:19,908 I have some terrible news. 1082 01:01:21,950 --> 01:01:25,284 He's more of a home robot than a combat robot. 1083 01:01:25,492 --> 01:01:28,409 Maybe he has great functions. Don't judge so fast. 1084 01:01:28,658 --> 01:01:30,950 He's obviously not working. Look. 1085 01:01:31,783 --> 01:01:32,741 Norbert! 1086 01:01:33,325 --> 01:01:37,033 What is one million plus one million? 1087 01:01:43,367 --> 01:01:45,159 He's a robot, not a calculator. 1088 01:01:45,367 --> 01:01:47,075 He's a piece of junk. 1089 01:01:51,992 --> 01:01:52,908 So? 1090 01:01:53,325 --> 01:01:54,491 What did he say? 1091 01:01:55,033 --> 01:01:56,450 How can I say it? 1092 01:01:56,700 --> 01:01:58,950 The answer is, two million. 1093 01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:00,783 Good, Norbert, thanks. 1094 01:02:00,992 --> 01:02:02,242 He sucks! 1095 01:02:02,450 --> 01:02:05,117 The more you say he sucks, the more he'll suck. 1096 01:02:05,325 --> 01:02:06,616 What's wrong? You okay? 1097 01:02:07,409 --> 01:02:09,950 I have the freakiest story you'll ever hear. 1098 01:02:11,575 --> 01:02:13,491 And the last one too. 1099 01:02:18,450 --> 01:02:21,242 Lizardin set off his plan earlier than expected. 1100 01:02:22,533 --> 01:02:23,992 We're all going to die. 1101 01:02:24,325 --> 01:02:26,159 Earth will soon be destroyed. 1102 01:02:26,367 --> 01:02:29,033 - We're fucked, everything is. - What? 1103 01:02:58,409 --> 01:03:00,200 You couldn't warn us? 1104 01:03:00,950 --> 01:03:02,284 Piece-of-shit machine! 1105 01:03:02,491 --> 01:03:03,533 Mercury... 1106 01:03:03,908 --> 01:03:06,159 this is terrible, do something! 1107 01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:08,450 I need to talk to my kids. 1108 01:03:08,825 --> 01:03:09,825 I'm sorry. 1109 01:03:10,159 --> 01:03:12,992 I was a real drag here. Now I realize. Sorry! 1110 01:03:13,200 --> 01:03:14,075 Stop. 1111 01:03:14,367 --> 01:03:15,408 Not at all. 1112 01:03:15,992 --> 01:03:18,783 I adore you. You're my role model. 1113 01:03:18,992 --> 01:03:19,867 Role model? 1114 01:03:20,075 --> 01:03:22,200 You kidding? You're the best of us! 1115 01:03:22,783 --> 01:03:23,867 You never told me! 1116 01:03:24,075 --> 01:03:25,533 Because I'm a stupid ass. 1117 01:03:26,033 --> 01:03:29,575 I don't compliment people. It's all about me, me, me! 1118 01:03:29,992 --> 01:03:30,992 I'm that way too. 1119 01:03:37,742 --> 01:03:40,284 Time to get this over with. Let's do it! 1120 01:03:41,491 --> 01:03:42,450 Copy that. 1121 01:03:43,908 --> 01:03:45,159 Twelve... 1122 01:03:46,533 --> 01:03:47,616 eleven... 1123 01:03:49,825 --> 01:03:50,992 ten... 1124 01:03:53,616 --> 01:03:54,658 nine... 1125 01:03:56,616 --> 01:03:57,700 eight... 1126 01:03:59,450 --> 01:04:00,742 seven... 1127 01:04:02,075 --> 01:04:03,325 six... 1128 01:04:04,700 --> 01:04:05,783 five... 1129 01:04:11,575 --> 01:04:12,575 Yes? 1130 01:04:15,408 --> 01:04:16,658 Yes, I'll tell him. 1131 01:04:17,034 --> 01:04:19,700 - What is it? - Your wife. Supper time. 1132 01:04:20,034 --> 01:04:20,950 Shit! 1133 01:04:21,159 --> 01:04:23,408 Shit, darn, yeah... okay. 1134 01:04:23,616 --> 01:04:25,742 Put it on stand-by. We'll finish later. 1135 01:04:28,867 --> 01:04:29,700 Hey, honey. 1136 01:04:29,825 --> 01:04:32,284 - Hello, darlings. All good? - Hi, Daddy. 1137 01:04:32,533 --> 01:04:34,616 It's Daddy. Say hi to Daddy! 1138 01:04:34,950 --> 01:04:36,242 Hey, Daddy! 1139 01:04:37,034 --> 01:04:38,450 We were talking about you. 1140 01:04:38,658 --> 01:04:41,034 - The girls won't nap. - Really? 1141 01:04:41,658 --> 01:04:42,616 Why not? 1142 01:04:43,242 --> 01:04:45,450 We want you to tell us a story. 1143 01:04:49,200 --> 01:04:50,408 Are you well? 1144 01:04:50,700 --> 01:04:52,034 Yeah, I'm fine. 1145 01:04:53,950 --> 01:04:56,533 Give Daddy a kiss. 1146 01:04:57,200 --> 01:04:58,783 Give Daddy a kiss too. 1147 01:05:15,159 --> 01:05:16,242 Before we all die, 1148 01:05:16,825 --> 01:05:18,825 let me say something. Last night, 1149 01:05:19,159 --> 01:05:22,242 I just wanted to have a drink, not to hook up. 1150 01:05:22,450 --> 01:05:24,034 I just wanted to talk. 1151 01:05:24,283 --> 01:05:26,159 What's more, you're not my type. 1152 01:05:26,366 --> 01:05:28,491 So, sorry. You got it all wrong. 1153 01:05:28,700 --> 01:05:29,533 Too bad. 1154 01:05:38,200 --> 01:05:40,950 It was so great being all together. 1155 01:05:42,575 --> 01:05:44,325 I wish it had lasted longer. 1156 01:05:44,575 --> 01:05:46,034 How sad. 1157 01:05:47,075 --> 01:05:49,575 Fighting evil for all these years. 1158 01:05:50,450 --> 01:05:51,909 It got us nowhere! 1159 01:05:52,117 --> 01:05:52,950 I know. 1160 01:05:53,742 --> 01:05:55,159 It's frustrating, I know. 1161 01:06:00,491 --> 01:06:02,241 Come here, little Methanol! 1162 01:06:03,034 --> 01:06:04,533 Come join us, brother. 1163 01:06:05,491 --> 01:06:08,783 Crazy how you remind me of my young self! 1164 01:06:09,034 --> 01:06:10,366 Who the fuck cares? 1165 01:06:10,658 --> 01:06:12,159 It's always about you! 1166 01:06:14,575 --> 01:06:15,950 I'm so fucking pissed. 1167 01:06:17,408 --> 01:06:19,450 I never had time to enjoy life! 1168 01:06:20,200 --> 01:06:21,159 Me neither. 1169 01:06:22,075 --> 01:06:24,034 I'm dying a virgin! 1170 01:06:27,825 --> 01:06:28,825 Forgive me. 1171 01:06:29,034 --> 01:06:31,575 I was busy, and I didn't see the time. 1172 01:06:31,909 --> 01:06:33,825 - We just sat down. - Excellent. 1173 01:06:34,159 --> 01:06:35,366 All well? 1174 01:06:35,658 --> 01:06:36,575 Fine, fine. 1175 01:06:36,867 --> 01:06:38,034 - Evening, son. - Evening. 1176 01:06:38,325 --> 01:06:39,325 What you working on? 1177 01:06:39,533 --> 01:06:41,992 I'm destroying a sick planet. 1178 01:06:42,825 --> 01:06:43,783 Which planet? 1179 01:06:44,117 --> 01:06:45,366 I've mentioned it before. 1180 01:06:46,742 --> 01:06:48,700 Earth, the planet of crazy people. 1181 01:06:50,366 --> 01:06:51,992 Yes. Bravo, my boy. 1182 01:06:52,617 --> 01:06:53,992 Sit straight, damn hyena! 1183 01:06:54,533 --> 01:06:55,366 Sorry, Dad. 1184 01:06:55,575 --> 01:06:57,241 Why are you destroying it? 1185 01:06:57,450 --> 01:06:58,867 It's not interesting. 1186 01:06:59,117 --> 01:07:01,742 I'm putting a sick planet out of its misery. 1187 01:07:01,950 --> 01:07:02,867 What's for dinner? 1188 01:07:05,200 --> 01:07:06,325 Galactic soup. 1189 01:07:06,783 --> 01:07:07,700 Again. 1190 01:07:14,575 --> 01:07:15,492 That's enough. 1191 01:07:28,366 --> 01:07:29,283 Delicious. 1192 01:07:31,867 --> 01:07:34,992 While the rabbit is running through the forest, 1193 01:07:35,200 --> 01:07:38,658 he realizes his carrots are in the hunter's fridge. 1194 01:07:42,450 --> 01:07:45,492 Then the rabbit meets another rabbit... 1195 01:07:47,783 --> 01:07:49,408 {\an8}Wait a sec! 1196 01:07:49,783 --> 01:07:53,075 I have a call, be right back. Stay there, I love you. 1197 01:07:55,867 --> 01:07:56,825 Chief? 1198 01:07:57,241 --> 01:08:01,366 Mercury, it's not over. I read Norbert 1200's user's manual. 1199 01:08:01,575 --> 01:08:04,949 One of his special functions can save you. 1200 01:08:05,282 --> 01:08:08,158 You have very little time. Listen closely. 1201 01:08:13,783 --> 01:08:15,116 Yo, guys! 1202 01:08:16,075 --> 01:08:16,950 Guys! 1203 01:08:18,950 --> 01:08:20,450 It's not over! 1204 01:08:20,741 --> 01:08:21,699 What? 1205 01:08:21,992 --> 01:08:25,115 It's not over! Norbert 1200 can save us. 1206 01:08:26,992 --> 01:08:28,407 Norbert 1200 can save us. 1207 01:08:28,657 --> 01:08:29,700 That piece of shit? 1208 01:08:34,784 --> 01:08:36,200 Norbert, you hear me? 1209 01:08:36,658 --> 01:08:38,200 I am Norbert 1200. 1210 01:08:38,492 --> 01:08:39,742 I know, listen to me. 1211 01:08:39,949 --> 01:08:44,241 Norbert, can you initiate procedure U55 on the double? 1212 01:08:44,533 --> 01:08:45,742 We're doomed anyway. 1213 01:08:45,992 --> 01:08:46,950 What the hell? 1214 01:08:47,158 --> 01:08:48,116 Hurry up! 1215 01:08:48,533 --> 01:08:50,909 Procedure U55 activated. 1216 01:08:51,575 --> 01:08:53,034 What's U55? 1217 01:08:53,283 --> 01:08:55,366 Are you sure you want to change eras? 1218 01:08:56,492 --> 01:08:58,408 - Change eras? - What the fuck? 1219 01:08:58,658 --> 01:08:59,909 We go back in time! 1220 01:09:00,366 --> 01:09:01,742 - Back? - Amazing! 1221 01:09:01,992 --> 01:09:03,407 Sure, say yes! 1222 01:09:03,617 --> 01:09:04,575 Think so? 1223 01:09:04,950 --> 01:09:06,824 It beats dying! 1224 01:09:08,325 --> 01:09:10,324 Are you sure to want to change eras? 1225 01:09:10,574 --> 01:09:12,784 Yes! 1226 01:09:12,992 --> 01:09:15,533 - You're rushing this! - We have no choice! 1227 01:09:15,784 --> 01:09:18,158 - Yes, fast! - Hurry up! We want to! 1228 01:09:18,533 --> 01:09:22,075 - Are you sure to want to change eras? - You bet we do! 1229 01:09:22,283 --> 01:09:24,116 You stupid? Why did you hit him? 1230 01:09:24,324 --> 01:09:25,992 We said yes! What the fuck? 1231 01:09:26,241 --> 01:09:27,825 Can we choose the era? 1232 01:09:28,074 --> 01:09:29,158 I have no idea! 1233 01:09:30,282 --> 01:09:31,700 Era change in progress. 1234 01:09:33,283 --> 01:09:35,032 Era change in progress. 1235 01:09:56,200 --> 01:09:57,283 Fuck! 1236 01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:48,533 CALLING 1237 01:10:53,492 --> 01:10:55,742 What the fuck are they up to? 1238 01:10:59,784 --> 01:11:01,408 Can you disconnect from work? 1239 01:11:01,617 --> 01:11:03,575 I'll just be a second. 1240 01:11:08,450 --> 01:11:09,367 Come on... 1241 01:11:11,116 --> 01:11:12,991 Voicemail. Leave a message. 1242 01:11:14,450 --> 01:11:17,283 Tobacco Force, call me back right away. 1243 01:11:17,492 --> 01:11:19,367 I have some excellent news. 1244 01:11:19,575 --> 01:11:20,659 Alert retracted. 1245 01:11:20,867 --> 01:11:23,867 You must cancel procedure U55. 1246 01:11:24,116 --> 01:11:26,950 I repeat, cancel procedure U55. 1247 01:11:27,158 --> 01:11:28,242 It's very important. 1248 01:11:28,659 --> 01:11:29,659 Call me back ASAP. 1249 01:11:29,908 --> 01:11:31,283 Gotta disconnect, baby. 1250 01:11:31,825 --> 01:11:32,867 You'll burn out. 1251 01:11:33,075 --> 01:11:34,450 Yeah, I know... 1252 01:11:34,908 --> 01:11:36,575 Work isn't everything. 1253 01:11:37,492 --> 01:11:38,492 Don't you think? 1254 01:11:39,450 --> 01:11:40,867 You're totally right. 1255 01:11:42,575 --> 01:11:43,700 There's something... 1256 01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:46,325 way more important than this mess. 1257 01:11:46,659 --> 01:11:48,367 Want to know what it is? 1258 01:11:49,533 --> 01:11:50,659 Yeah, go on. 1259 01:11:50,867 --> 01:11:51,991 Well... 1260 01:11:52,242 --> 01:11:53,283 it's love. 1261 01:12:01,991 --> 01:12:03,742 Era change in progress. 1262 01:12:04,242 --> 01:12:06,033 Era change in progress. 1263 01:13:08,450 --> 01:13:14,742 SMOKING CAUSES COUGHING 1264 01:16:21,825 --> 01:16:24,450 Subtitles: Andrew Litvack 1265 01:16:24,658 --> 01:16:27,200 Subtitling TITRAFILM 1266 01:16:35,908 --> 01:16:37,492 Era change in progress. 1267 01:16:38,117 --> 01:16:39,616 Era change in progress. 1268 01:16:40,284 --> 01:16:41,783 Era change in progress. 1269 01:16:42,325 --> 01:16:43,866 Era change in progress. 1270 01:16:44,534 --> 01:16:46,033 Era change in progress. 1271 01:16:46,616 --> 01:16:48,158 Era change in progress. 1272 01:16:48,741 --> 01:16:50,242 Era change in progress. 1273 01:16:50,825 --> 01:16:52,409 Era change in progress.