1
00:00:46,750 --> 00:00:47,800
看好…

2
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,090
不要挡…

3
00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:52,130
看好

4
00:00:52,210 --> 00:00:53,880
不要挡…不要让他过去

5
00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,210
看好…

6
00:00:57,130 --> 00:00:58,170
走开

7
00:00:58,250 --> 00:00:59,340
阿忠

8
00:01:00,130 --> 00:01:00,960
球…

9
00:01:01,380 --> 00:01:02,420
阿忠

10
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,340
撞人…

11
00:01:10,210 --> 00:01:12,550
会被雷打

12
00:01:12,630 --> 00:01:14,340
没有撞人

13
00:01:14,420 --> 00:01:16,800
-没有 走开
-撞人

14
00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:27,550
-下雨
-下雨了

15
00:01:28,420 --> 00:01:30,050
东西拿一下

16
00:01:38,460 --> 00:01:40,170
好大的雨

17
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:41,880
那个阿纶

18
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,550
那个阿纶刚刚给我这样撞下去

19
00:01:43,630 --> 00:01:44,460
撞人啦

20
00:01:44,550 --> 00:01:45,460
有够过分的

21
00:01:45,550 --> 00:01:48,130
-打人家
-只会欺负老人家

22
00:01:50,050 --> 00:01:52,250
你不要再这样喔…

23
00:01:52,340 --> 00:01:53,590
算什么东西啊

24
00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:13,880
你已经死了

25
00:02:56,630 --> 00:02:57,710
手给我

26
00:02:58,340 --> 00:02:59,250
手

27
00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:14,590
手

28
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,000
放圆盘

29
00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:34,630
永恒编码9895762369776955

30
00:03:34,710 --> 00:03:35,550
额头

31
00:03:39,670 --> 00:03:40,920
真的扫不出来

32
00:03:42,670 --> 00:03:44,130
这念珠是什么啊？

33
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:45,590
他还没有好啦

34
00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:47,210
他的脑被雷打到

35
00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:49,050
前世记忆都扫不出来

36
00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:51,460
你等一下弄好 自己推去仓库

37
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,380
永恒编码扫码器 故障排除书

38
00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:15,380
这什么？

39
00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:16,670
你的各种前世

40
00:04:19,380 --> 00:04:21,380
我当过仙人掌

41
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:22,920
鱼

42
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,090
还有蝉？

43
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,420
除了人

44
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:32,090
每个人都当过一堆有的没的

45
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:34,500
到底要怎样？

46
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,130
生前记录 柯明注的录像带

47
00:04:40,210 --> 00:04:41,380
怎么可能？

48
00:04:41,460 --> 00:04:43,460
不可能 我要申请复活

49
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:46,210
你冷静一下 每个人都会死

50
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,250
你只是稍微早一点点来而已

51
00:04:48,340 --> 00:04:50,300
你屁 你放屁 你去死…

52
00:04:50,380 --> 00:04:53,170
我们早就死了 我们都死了

53
00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:54,420
-冷静一下
-搞什么东西啊？

54
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:55,380
你冷静一下

55
00:04:55,460 --> 00:04:57,880
-说什么东西啊？
-你看看你的人生跑马灯封面多漂亮

56
00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:59,840
你妈才人生跑马灯

57
00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:02,170
-耶稣可以复活 为什么我不行？
-冷静

58
00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:03,500
常这样？

59
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,170
每天都一堆啊

60
00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:06,670
但这个真的比较疯一点

61
00:05:06,750 --> 00:05:07,750
不要破坏

62
00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:12,880
选一张当你人生跑马灯的封面

63
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,500
前世记录影音档

64
00:05:46,670 --> 00:05:48,550
这里的皱摺层次太多了

65
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,670
位置跟上次说的一样

66
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:52,340
血检虽然有一点点的进步

67
00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:54,590
但肿瘤的大小没有太大变化

68
00:05:55,170 --> 00:05:56,750
肿瘤长在十二指肠

69
00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:57,920
本来就很难弄

70
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,750
手术时间一长

71
00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:00,960
很有可能醒不过来

72
00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:02,250
那麻醉大概多久？

73
00:06:02,670 --> 00:06:04,340
大概有多少机率醒不过来？

74
00:06:04,420 --> 00:06:05,550
大概…

75
00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:07,800
同学

76
00:06:09,170 --> 00:06:11,050
人生最无奈就是这个大概

77
00:06:12,250 --> 00:06:13,960
阿鲁大概也15岁了

78
00:06:14,050 --> 00:06:16,130
生老病死大概很正常

79
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,800
你大概要放轻松一点

80
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,630
想要它活久一点有什么错？

81
00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:21,340
没有错

82
00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:23,250
没有错

83
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:28,710
签名

84
00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:32,800
我都看到了

85
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,130
资料根本没跑完

86
00:06:35,210 --> 00:06:36,300
而且我什么都不记得

87
00:06:36,380 --> 00:06:37,880
专心 好吗？

88
00:06:38,550 --> 00:06:40,000
你已经死了

89
00:06:40,090 --> 00:06:41,590
不用管那些前尘往事好不好？

90
00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:44,460
这不过就是例行性的归档而已

91
00:06:44,550 --> 00:06:45,710
-最重要的是…
-我不要

92
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:48,750
最重要的…

93
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:49,670
我不要

94
00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:00,000
最重要的是要投胎不投胎

95
00:07:00,090 --> 00:07:00,960
看视频

96
00:07:05,380 --> 00:07:07,250
首先恭喜刚刚呃啊呃啊的大家

97
00:07:07,340 --> 00:07:08,550
阴间经过多次改革

98
00:07:08,630 --> 00:07:10,420
已经没鬼有空送你上刀山

99
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:11,800
下油锅、挖眼睛

100
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,050
拔舌头

101
00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:15,210
那么死后的世界到底是什么呢？

102
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:18,250
一望无际 乌漆抹黑的大海

103
00:07:18,340 --> 00:07:19,630
死后世界的大船

104
00:07:19,710 --> 00:07:22,300
每一艘船都立志航向传说中

105
00:07:22,380 --> 00:07:23,460
伟大的彼岸

106
00:07:23,550 --> 00:07:24,500
天堂、西方极乐

107
00:07:24,590 --> 00:07:26,420
净土、仙境、众神之地

108
00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:29,460
反正大家航行了几千几万年都到不了

109
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:30,840
哭哭

110
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:32,500
大家冷静

111
00:07:33,090 --> 00:07:35,130
至少我们想出了回到人间的好办法

112
00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:36,340
投胎

113
00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:39,210
现在就请你看看手上的念珠

114
00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:41,500
上面的珠珠就是你这辈子的成绩单

115
00:07:41,590 --> 00:07:42,710
白色就是阴德

116
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,210
黑色就是业障 坏坏

117
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:45,630
念珠如果全黑 黑…

118
00:07:45,710 --> 00:07:47,590
一死掉就会完全消失

119
00:07:47,670 --> 00:07:49,420
没有鬼知道他们去了哪

120
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:50,460
恐怖

121
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,050
念珠有黑有白的人

122
00:07:52,130 --> 00:07:53,460
如果马上申请投胎

123
00:07:53,550 --> 00:07:54,670
就会变成鸡、鸭、鱼、猪

124
00:07:54,750 --> 00:07:56,300
蟑螂、蚂蚁、阴虱、小黑蚊

125
00:07:56,380 --> 00:08:00,210
因为地球人口大爆炸啦 神不够用

126
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:03,130
我们阴间需要
大量优秀的灵魂来分担工作

127
00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:05,550
欢迎申请担任各式各样的神职

128
00:08:05,630 --> 00:08:07,210
努力对这个世界做出贡献

129
00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:09,420
把念珠一颗一颗由黑洗白

130
00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:12,670
下一次的人生就赢在精子啦

131
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:44,130
你在看屁啊？

132
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:48,960
看一下会死喔？

133
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:49,880
对

134
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,300
我死了 你也死了

135
00:08:51,380 --> 00:08:52,550
丑八怪

136
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,550
很难比你丑吧

137
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:57,380
我明明就很可爱

138
00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:07,340
你不只丑 还很臭耶

139
00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:08,840
怎么都瓦斯味啊？

140
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:12,340
你放屁喔？

141
00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:13,500
你才放屁

142
00:09:13,590 --> 00:09:15,170
你超臭 你也很臭

143
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:16,800
臭焦炭 你黑漆漆

144
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,460
你看你这边 你这边破掉

145
00:09:18,550 --> 00:09:20,090
你那边破掉 你这边

146
00:09:21,050 --> 00:09:23,500
鸡鸡也破啦

147
00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:25,630
你顽皮豹

148
00:10:20,550 --> 00:10:21,550
决定好了没有？

149
00:10:23,670 --> 00:10:25,050
哪一个选项对你比较有利

150
00:10:25,130 --> 00:10:26,250
你应该很清楚了吧？

151
00:10:28,710 --> 00:10:30,130
刚刚有一个在…

152
00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:41,050
蟑螂

153
00:10:41,590 --> 00:10:44,090
你要投胎当蜗牛

154
00:10:44,170 --> 00:10:46,300
还是要打工赚点数？

155
00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:58,090
她不是在学校教书？

156
00:10:58,170 --> 00:11:00,050
她现在这个样子是怎么教？

157
00:11:00,550 --> 00:11:02,170
她就待在家里跟着我做

158
00:11:11,710 --> 00:11:12,800
她最近常常这样子

159
00:11:13,380 --> 00:11:14,710
魂不守舍

160
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,340
要不要帮忙介绍？

161
00:11:16,630 --> 00:11:18,300
还没满一年

162
00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:19,960
顺其自然啦

163
00:11:20,050 --> 00:11:21,420
介绍收惊的啦

164
00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:38,500
石孝纶

165
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,800
你不可以忘记你说过的

166
00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:57,880
为什么你有那么多颗？

167
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:01,460
我人明明就很好

168
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:04,300
不是啊 我红灯都有停

169
00:13:04,380 --> 00:13:05,800
垃圾也有分类

170
00:13:08,590 --> 00:13:10,170
保丽龙有没有回收？

171
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:13,750
你喝奶茶还在用吸管喔？

172
00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:19,920
海龟吃吸管会死掉啦

173
00:13:23,340 --> 00:13:24,420
你也没那么丑

174
00:13:24,710 --> 00:13:26,130
我是刚刚隔壁的

175
00:13:26,210 --> 00:13:27,130
你也选月老？

176
00:13:32,090 --> 00:13:33,710
你人真的很差耶

177
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,050
你才五颗喔

178
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,250
你也才多我一颗耶

179
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,800
多一颗多很多好不好？

180
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:42,170
不是

181
00:13:42,710 --> 00:13:44,800
我是被雷打死的

182
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,840
我这里…这里都坏掉

183
00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:47,840
我什么都不记得

184
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,420
那机器根本扫不出来

185
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,710
如果扫得出来的话…

186
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,500
我至少多十颗

187
00:13:56,050 --> 00:13:57,250
天打雷劈

188
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,250
好可怜

189
00:14:00,210 --> 00:14:01,210
你杀海龟

190
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,500
各位潜在的学弟学妹

191
00:14:11,590 --> 00:14:13,710
欢迎来到月老这个大家庭

192
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,880
有点常识的人都知道

193
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,550
这条红线能够牵起

194
00:14:22,630 --> 00:14:24,710
爱情世界里的你我他

195
00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:26,460
使人幸福

196
00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:27,750
阴德增加

197
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,420
当爱成仇 业障黑化的速度

198
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:33,710
让你连干几百年月老都没有办法投胎

199
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,670
每绑一条红线
都需要两个月老的同意

200
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,000
就跟爱情一样

201
00:14:38,090 --> 00:14:40,000
所以你们在受训的这段期间

202
00:14:40,090 --> 00:14:41,130
要找到你们的搭挡

203
00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:42,750
一起通过最后的测验

204
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:43,920
才算是结训

205
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,750
退训的鬼强制投胎

206
00:15:06,460 --> 00:15:08,250
大哥哥…

207
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:11,250
你好厉害 我可以跟你一组吗？

208
00:15:11,340 --> 00:15:12,460
当然好啊

209
00:15:27,170 --> 00:15:29,380
如果爱你是错 我不要对

210
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,460
恋爱就是要不确定才有趣

211
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,500
月老练习场 第二阶段

212
00:15:49,380 --> 00:15:51,420
大哥哥 你好烂

213
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,250
大哥哥 你好烂

214
00:15:59,340 --> 00:16:00,550
你笑屁啊？

215
00:16:00,630 --> 00:16:01,460
海龟杀手

216
00:16:01,550 --> 00:16:04,130
要是考不过 只能当蟑螂

217
00:16:04,210 --> 00:16:05,380
蟑螂

218
00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:08,710
好恶心 蟑螂耶你

219
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,380
你才烂鸡鸡 你鸡鸡超烂

220
00:16:11,460 --> 00:16:12,840
你知道你为什么被天打雷劈吗？

221
00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,090
就是你鸡鸡太细啦

222
00:16:15,170 --> 00:16:17,340
-你这个蟑螂
-你鸡鸡啦

223
00:16:17,420 --> 00:16:19,630
你蟑螂在下水道 恶心啦

224
00:16:19,710 --> 00:16:21,210
-你知道你会不会…
-很臭啊你

225
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:22,960
你会不会咕咕叫？

226
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:27,880
喝干净

227
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,550
爱谁恨谁

228
00:16:29,630 --> 00:16:31,300
喜欢大胸部

229
00:16:31,380 --> 00:16:32,300
讨厌吃香菜

230
00:16:32,380 --> 00:16:34,500
-通通忘光光
-妈妈的肚子见

231
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:37,000
-拜拜
-拜拜

232
00:16:37,090 --> 00:16:40,340
-再见
-拜拜

233
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:52,960
请教一下

234
00:16:53,050 --> 00:16:54,710
那个第一条红线

235
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,210
是怎么来的？

236
00:16:57,630 --> 00:16:58,840
就那个…

237
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,130
牛郎织女里面那个织女变的啦

238
00:17:01,210 --> 00:17:02,500
只是传说

239
00:17:02,590 --> 00:17:04,210
对啦 传说

240
00:17:04,670 --> 00:17:07,880
传说那个一年一次的七夕根本不够用

241
00:17:08,090 --> 00:17:10,670
织女太想要看到牛郎

242
00:17:10,750 --> 00:17:14,000
所以她每天就一直哭…

243
00:17:14,670 --> 00:17:16,710
这个牛郎也两光

244
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,630
让一个女人在那里呼天抢地

245
00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:20,300
有够没用的啦

246
00:17:21,050 --> 00:17:22,840
没办法 她哭…

247
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,210
哭到最后 就变成一团红线

248
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,340
这也算是一种…

249
00:17:27,420 --> 00:17:28,630
一种发愿啦

250
00:17:28,710 --> 00:17:31,630
牺牲自己 让全天下有情人终成眷属

251
00:17:32,170 --> 00:17:33,460
伟大…

252
00:17:36,170 --> 00:17:37,340
还有没有问题？

253
00:17:59,250 --> 00:18:01,340
把鬼头成抓回来

254
00:18:01,420 --> 00:18:02,920
抓回来

255
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:14,840
好惨

256
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:16,750
把室友都打成西瓜汁啦

257
00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:20,920
汁…

258
00:18:21,670 --> 00:18:24,170
汁…

259
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,170
没了念珠

260
00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:31,170
他怎么上来？

261
00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:41,300
让开

262
00:18:41,380 --> 00:18:42,960
你以前不是这样教我的

263
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:44,800
长官

264
00:18:51,170 --> 00:18:53,250
送你去轮回

265
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:06,710
厉鬼

266
00:19:32,210 --> 00:19:34,750
有仇没报吗？

267
00:19:37,590 --> 00:19:40,630
不甘心去投胎吗？

268
00:19:49,210 --> 00:19:51,380
比起你受的委屈

269
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,090
阴德、神职

270
00:19:55,170 --> 00:19:56,750
根本不重要

271
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:00,460
姐姐这里

272
00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:02,960
提供你一个

273
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:07,050
绝无仅有的机会

274
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,090
就当做是你上辈子欠我的好了

275
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:21,840
我一定会烧很多你喜欢的给你

276
00:20:22,550 --> 00:20:24,710
所有跟粉红色有关的东西

277
00:20:30,550 --> 00:20:31,840
好好睡一觉

278
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:33,800
等你起来

279
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:35,460
就在好人家啦

280
00:20:36,750 --> 00:20:38,750
阿弥陀佛…

281
00:20:39,170 --> 00:20:41,340
阿弥陀佛 一路好走

282
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:42,710
阿弥陀佛

283
00:20:46,460 --> 00:20:47,460
哇靠

284
00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:49,800
你当什么厉鬼？

285
00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:51,500
拜托 丑死了

286
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,210
“化身厉鬼者 报仇雪恨

287
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:01,420
无限量耗损阴德

288
00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:03,170
不入轮回 永不超生

289
00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:05,250
报仇损人不利己

290
00:21:05,340 --> 00:21:08,210
要报仇前请忽略此公开说明书”

291
00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:12,300
字这么小 连鬼都骗

292
00:21:20,420 --> 00:21:22,500
考试压力有那么大吗？

293
00:21:24,090 --> 00:21:25,090
我也很烂

294
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:27,670
我应该也可能会投胎

295
00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:30,250
而且你当蟑螂没有什么不好的吧？

296
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,630
只是爬个井

297
00:21:40,710 --> 00:21:43,050
也费了你这么大的功夫

298
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,420
拿来

299
00:21:54,460 --> 00:21:56,550
我藏在你这边的东西

300
00:21:57,550 --> 00:21:58,380
我不知道

301
00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:28,960
一路顺风

302
00:22:39,550 --> 00:22:41,590
动作快点啦 每一次都慢吞吞的

303
00:22:41,670 --> 00:22:43,670
好啦 烦耶

304
00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:56,500
五百年

305
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,630
你忘了

306
00:23:03,380 --> 00:23:04,590
我没忘

307
00:23:20,130 --> 00:23:21,130
叫什么名字？

308
00:23:21,630 --> 00:23:22,960
洪菁晴

309
00:23:39,500 --> 00:23:40,340
退

310
00:23:41,300 --> 00:23:42,210
张开嘴吐气

311
00:23:56,050 --> 00:23:58,800
相信大家都已经找到自己的搭挡

312
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,460
在沙子漏完之前

313
00:24:00,670 --> 00:24:03,460
两位要一起同时套住顽皮鬼的手指

314
00:24:03,550 --> 00:24:04,550
才算成功

315
00:24:05,090 --> 00:24:06,500
没考过的人

316
00:24:06,590 --> 00:24:07,880
强制投胎

317
00:24:14,340 --> 00:24:15,920
你好 你好

318
00:24:16,420 --> 00:24:17,840
你好…你好

319
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:18,920
这位朋友

320
00:24:20,300 --> 00:24:21,210
你好

321
00:24:22,130 --> 00:24:23,670
-先生 我…
-不用

322
00:24:23,750 --> 00:24:25,920
-这位先生 我觉得我们…
-不用

323
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,670
妹妹 你是不是觉得很…

324
00:24:38,250 --> 00:24:39,250
求我啊

325
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:40,840
你求我啊

326
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:42,380
我求你们快一点

327
00:24:43,340 --> 00:24:44,250
蜗牛

328
00:24:44,750 --> 00:24:46,000
这样很不可爱

329
00:24:46,090 --> 00:24:46,960
蟑螂

330
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,170
我毕生的愿望就是当一只蟑螂

331
00:24:51,250 --> 00:24:52,800
会飞、会爬

332
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:53,710
赞

333
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:55,670
你这种故作坚强

334
00:24:56,050 --> 00:24:57,210
也是一种可爱

335
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,050
哪一种？

336
00:25:02,130 --> 00:25:03,460
你又开始不可爱了

337
00:25:04,130 --> 00:25:06,420
我真的是很不看好他们

338
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,050
开始

339
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:35,800
你等一下…

340
00:25:37,250 --> 00:25:38,090
等一下…

341
00:25:39,250 --> 00:25:40,800
等一下…不要…

342
00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:42,130
我没空啦

343
00:25:42,210 --> 00:25:43,250
怎么消失了？

344
00:25:43,750 --> 00:25:45,210
怎么不见了？

345
00:25:58,420 --> 00:26:00,170
自己都不来电 还想要牵线

346
00:26:00,250 --> 00:26:02,670
你们都已经当鬼 就不要用眼睛看

347
00:26:02,750 --> 00:26:04,590
要用心感觉

348
00:26:04,670 --> 00:26:06,590
-电 给我来电
-用心

349
00:26:06,710 --> 00:26:09,300
-来点电 电…
-用心

350
00:26:09,380 --> 00:26:12,300
-电…
-电…

351
00:26:12,380 --> 00:26:14,210
-用心感觉
-电…

352
00:26:14,300 --> 00:26:16,000
-来电
-电…

353
00:26:16,090 --> 00:26:20,630
-电…
-电…

354
00:26:23,550 --> 00:26:25,000
怎么样？有没有被我电到？

355
00:26:25,090 --> 00:26:26,000
没有

356
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:28,840
你看我…

357
00:26:29,750 --> 00:26:30,590
有吗？

358
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:36,670
荷尔蒙

359
00:26:37,420 --> 00:26:38,380
我的天啊

360
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:39,670
来

361
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:44,840
奶奶有没有？奶奶

362
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:46,210
-你看我这里
-在哪里？

363
00:26:46,300 --> 00:26:47,380
这里

364
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:50,920
没有啊

365
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:53,960
怎样啦？

366
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:08,050
你好

367
00:28:08,130 --> 00:28:09,300
我叫Pinky

368
00:28:11,710 --> 00:28:14,960
Pinky…三种口味

369
00:28:15,380 --> 00:28:16,880
-开车…吃Pinky
-开车…吃Pinky

370
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:18,550
-无聊吃Pinky
-无聊吃Pinky

371
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:21,960
Pinky

372
00:28:23,250 --> 00:28:24,460
我叫…

373
00:28:26,130 --> 00:28:28,300
我要叫你黑漆漆

374
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:33,880
黑黑的

375
00:30:15,460 --> 00:30:16,340
不玩了

376
00:30:16,420 --> 00:30:17,670
看什么？笑什么？

377
00:30:17,750 --> 00:30:20,090
-只会看衰别人
-真没品

378
00:30:20,380 --> 00:30:21,920
已经一个礼拜

379
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:23,750
什么理由？什么借口？

380
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:25,590
如果你真的觉得丢脸的话

381
00:30:25,670 --> 00:30:26,880
那我们就分手好了

382
00:30:31,170 --> 00:30:32,090
太慢了吧

383
00:31:03,670 --> 00:31:04,500
糟了！

384
00:31:05,170 --> 00:31:06,550
哪有人这样乱丢垃圾

385
00:31:06,630 --> 00:31:08,710
你外国人 你不会丢垃圾

386
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,130
我到底是今天做了什么坏事？

387
00:31:16,460 --> 00:31:18,420
你知道这是什么意思吗？

388
00:31:18,500 --> 00:31:19,420
对不起

389
00:31:52,250 --> 00:31:53,250
哇三小？

390
00:31:56,210 --> 00:31:57,500
真的会亮耶

391
00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:00,420
它真的会亮耶

392
00:32:00,500 --> 00:32:01,960
好神奇喔

393
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:08,750
好冷

394
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:10,880
好冷

395
00:32:11,630 --> 00:32:13,840
老四 你先走一步

396
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:15,300
兄弟们跟着就来

397
00:32:18,670 --> 00:32:20,460
老子们当土匪几年了？

398
00:32:21,420 --> 00:32:22,550
23年

399
00:32:23,090 --> 00:32:24,420
杀人过千

400
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:26,800
好一个杀过千人

401
00:32:29,250 --> 00:32:31,630
那狗官围了老子们好几个月

402
00:32:32,170 --> 00:32:34,210
杀了兄弟几十人

403
00:32:34,300 --> 00:32:36,710
没冤枉…

404
00:32:38,170 --> 00:32:39,800
喝结拜酒那天

405
00:32:41,050 --> 00:32:43,750
我们有37人一起发誓

406
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:46,550
但求同年同月同日死

407
00:32:46,630 --> 00:32:47,590
干完酒

408
00:32:48,340 --> 00:32:49,630
老子们就冲出去

409
00:32:50,130 --> 00:32:52,460
跟那些当官的同归于尽

410
00:32:53,710 --> 00:32:55,050
一起上路

411
00:32:55,670 --> 00:32:56,800
来生再杀

412
00:32:57,500 --> 00:32:58,960
-一起上路
-一起上路

413
00:32:59,050 --> 00:33:00,210
-来生再杀
-一起上路

414
00:33:01,210 --> 00:33:04,090
一起上路 来生再杀

415
00:33:04,420 --> 00:33:06,920
-一起上路 来生再杀
-一起上路 来生再杀

416
00:33:38,130 --> 00:33:39,300
弟弟 你妈妈呢？

417
00:33:43,380 --> 00:33:44,250
你的手…

418
00:34:00,420 --> 00:34:02,380
一起上路

419
00:34:03,420 --> 00:34:04,340
老二

420
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:06,300
五百年了

421
00:34:06,750 --> 00:34:08,170
光投胎

422
00:34:08,250 --> 00:34:11,300
你就玩了13回

423
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:14,420
你忘了

424
00:34:15,090 --> 00:34:16,750
我没忘

425
00:34:31,340 --> 00:34:32,750
靠北 又三根

426
00:34:33,630 --> 00:34:35,300
要拜拜 阿弥陀佛

427
00:34:35,380 --> 00:34:37,800
-你很厉害
-我故意的啦

428
00:34:42,590 --> 00:34:44,500
剩多少？拿出来输一输啦

429
00:34:44,590 --> 00:34:46,380
让你拿去割包皮啦

430
00:34:47,630 --> 00:34:49,090
是说喔

431
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:51,630
哪有那么刚好的事情

432
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,800
她才刚帮你跟钱庄借完钱

433
00:34:54,170 --> 00:34:55,380
然后就死了

434
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,250
这么容易死的女朋友

435
00:34:57,340 --> 00:34:58,880
我也想交一个啦

436
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,630
她人都死了

437
00:35:01,710 --> 00:35:04,090
我的这里都碎了好不好？

438
00:35:04,170 --> 00:35:05,250
别装啦

439
00:35:05,340 --> 00:35:06,500
最好啦

440
00:35:07,630 --> 00:35:09,170
好啦 不要臭脸了啦

441
00:35:09,250 --> 00:35:10,420
喝酒啦

442
00:35:26,210 --> 00:35:27,420
说真的啦

443
00:35:27,500 --> 00:35:28,710
像他这种烂人

444
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:31,800
死掉一定黑…

445
00:35:32,050 --> 00:35:33,340
就消失啦

446
00:35:34,750 --> 00:35:36,000
你到底管他干嘛？

447
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:39,500
杀人凶手、王八蛋、烂人、烂鸡鸡

448
00:35:39,590 --> 00:35:40,420
黑漆漆

449
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:43,210
我们去找一个得菜花、梅毒

450
00:35:43,300 --> 00:35:45,500
外加艾滋病的臭破麻跟他在一起

451
00:35:47,670 --> 00:35:48,590
好…

452
00:35:49,250 --> 00:35:50,300
那你去绑他

453
00:35:50,500 --> 00:35:51,710
绑老二

454
00:35:53,130 --> 00:35:54,340
其他交给我

455
00:36:02,590 --> 00:36:03,800
整个晚上脸都很臭

456
00:36:05,380 --> 00:36:06,710
就那个张柏纬

457
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:08,710
-张柏纬
-欠一、两百就算了

458
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:09,840
欠到三百

459
00:36:10,550 --> 00:36:11,750
当我是凯子

460
00:36:13,460 --> 00:36:16,090
真的在耍你耶 要处理

461
00:36:16,590 --> 00:36:17,750
对喔

462
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:18,840
阿汤我跟你说

463
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:20,090
你就去庙里给那个庙公

464
00:36:20,170 --> 00:36:21,380
安太岁一下 你就好了

465
00:36:21,460 --> 00:36:22,840
好啦 消夜我请啦

466
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,210
车呢？

467
00:36:24,340 --> 00:36:25,340
我怎么知道

468
00:36:53,420 --> 00:36:54,460
你在干嘛？

469
00:36:58,380 --> 00:36:59,340
是你朋友吗？

470
00:36:59,420 --> 00:37:00,340
不是啊

471
00:37:03,750 --> 00:37:05,050
你要干嘛？

472
00:37:07,340 --> 00:37:08,630
阿汤 你在干嘛？

473
00:37:09,380 --> 00:37:10,340
不要啦

474
00:37:11,170 --> 00:37:12,130
你不要动手

475
00:37:12,210 --> 00:37:13,090
动手动脚

476
00:37:13,170 --> 00:37:14,130
他在干我的车

477
00:37:14,210 --> 00:37:15,960
借骑一下会死喔

478
00:37:21,550 --> 00:37:23,590
阿汤 排气管烧起来了啦

479
00:37:23,670 --> 00:37:24,840
快点拔出来啦

480
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:25,800
-干嘛啦？
-快拔出来

481
00:37:26,050 --> 00:37:26,960
黑漆漆

482
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:28,800
谢谢

483
00:37:29,710 --> 00:37:30,750
不客气

484
00:37:31,130 --> 00:37:32,670
超级…

485
00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:34,000
超级谢谢的啦

486
00:37:34,590 --> 00:37:36,380
不客气…

487
00:37:47,550 --> 00:37:48,880
出来了…

488
00:37:49,090 --> 00:37:50,920
-不是这个出来
-不是这个出来

489
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:08,250
原来就是这里啊

490
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,000
我问过土地公了

491
00:38:13,630 --> 00:38:15,130
开诚是这边最好的学校

492
00:38:15,210 --> 00:38:17,000
我以前成绩一定超好

493
00:38:19,670 --> 00:38:20,670
真的不像

494
00:38:20,750 --> 00:38:22,210
有没有感觉？

495
00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:24,170
你感觉到了吗？我感觉到了

496
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:26,960
记忆跑马灯

497
00:38:27,050 --> 00:38:28,000
有没有？

498
00:38:28,090 --> 00:38:29,840
这台出租车你有搭过？

499
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:31,090
这你爸的车是不是？

500
00:38:32,170 --> 00:38:33,050
进回忆

501
00:38:33,210 --> 00:38:34,130
进回忆

502
00:38:34,500 --> 00:38:35,420
进回忆

503
00:38:36,090 --> 00:38:38,170
这里 你从小吃到大的面

504
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,250
你天天在这里偷肥皂

505
00:38:46,630 --> 00:38:48,500
这个老伯伯 他看你从小长大

506
00:38:54,170 --> 00:38:55,670
她是你妈

507
00:38:55,750 --> 00:38:56,590
你妈啦

508
00:39:33,670 --> 00:39:35,590
其实我还蛮羡慕你的

509
00:39:37,300 --> 00:39:38,420
什么都忘了

510
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:39,750
哪里好？

511
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,670
我活着的时候

512
00:39:44,130 --> 00:39:45,380
每天都有不同的男人

513
00:39:45,460 --> 00:39:47,090
抢着载我去飙车 陪我夜唱

514
00:39:47,460 --> 00:39:49,000
可是大家都很假

515
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:51,250
没一个人是真心的

516
00:39:52,130 --> 00:39:53,840
你太早死了啦

517
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:57,050
不然的话 一定会遇到很多…

518
00:39:57,130 --> 00:39:58,210
很多好事

519
00:39:59,050 --> 00:40:00,050
或是很多好人

520
00:40:00,710 --> 00:40:01,920
也不一定啊

521
00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:05,800
其实我们也不用急着去投胎

522
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:07,000
说不定…

523
00:40:24,090 --> 00:40:25,210
出来玩 一起出来玩

524
00:40:25,300 --> 00:40:27,300
-整天没洗澡 臭死了
-出来玩 出来啊

525
00:40:27,380 --> 00:40:28,460
吓死了

526
00:40:28,550 --> 00:40:29,880
放开它

527
00:40:32,090 --> 00:40:33,090
他是谁啊？

528
00:40:33,380 --> 00:40:35,300
-你知道吗？
-不知道

529
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:55,210
一

530
00:40:55,300 --> 00:40:56,500
二

531
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:57,840
三

532
00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:00,050
大爆屁

533
00:41:01,750 --> 00:41:03,210
插

534
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:06,550
大爆屁胜利

535
00:41:12,500 --> 00:41:14,460
对不起…

536
00:41:16,090 --> 00:41:17,170
对不起

537
00:41:18,420 --> 00:41:20,000
对不起

538
00:41:20,090 --> 00:41:21,210
阿鲁

539
00:41:21,300 --> 00:41:22,800
对不起

540
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:23,960
阿鲁

541
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:29,880
阿鲁

542
00:41:31,710 --> 00:41:34,090
你到底跑到哪里去了？阿鲁

543
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:38,300
知不知道我很担心你？

544
00:41:41,420 --> 00:41:42,630
阿鲁

545
00:41:43,590 --> 00:41:44,630
各位同学

546
00:41:44,710 --> 00:41:49,130
让我们用最热烈的掌声欢迎新同学

547
00:41:53,550 --> 00:41:55,460
大家好 我叫洪菁晴

548
00:41:55,550 --> 00:41:57,300
以前念民生小学时

549
00:41:57,380 --> 00:41:59,210
大家都叫我小咪

550
00:41:59,300 --> 00:42:01,130
我当过两次纪律委员

551
00:42:01,210 --> 00:42:03,210
但我很讨厌登记同学

552
00:42:03,630 --> 00:42:05,800
虽然我没有当过学艺股长…

553
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:17,920
小咪

554
00:42:22,670 --> 00:42:23,590
我好像

555
00:42:23,670 --> 00:42:24,920
爱上你了

556
00:42:25,420 --> 00:42:26,670
求求你嫁给我

557
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:29,630
我要嫁给道明寺啦

558
00:42:36,550 --> 00:42:38,340
我帮你打板擦儿 你就嫁给我

559
00:42:38,420 --> 00:42:39,670
不要

560
00:42:40,090 --> 00:42:41,880
我帮你洗拖把 你就嫁给我

561
00:42:42,550 --> 00:42:43,630
不要

562
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:45,550
我帮你倒垃圾 你就嫁给我

563
00:42:45,630 --> 00:42:46,500
不要

564
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:48,920
我给你看 你就嫁给我

565
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:50,920
你根本就不会写

566
00:42:51,170 --> 00:42:53,880
你假装我爸签名 你就嫁给我

567
00:42:54,050 --> 00:42:55,380
为什么是我要帮你签

568
00:42:55,460 --> 00:42:57,170
结果是我要嫁给你？

569
00:42:57,250 --> 00:42:58,250
不管你做什么

570
00:42:58,340 --> 00:42:59,500
我都想娶你啊

571
00:43:00,130 --> 00:43:01,210
不要

572
00:43:02,050 --> 00:43:03,380
家长签名 石伯伯

573
00:43:03,460 --> 00:43:04,340
石孝纶

574
00:43:04,420 --> 00:43:05,960
为什么你要常常乱讲话？

575
00:43:06,460 --> 00:43:07,710
我们这么小

576
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:09,630
就算我现在说要嫁给你

577
00:43:10,050 --> 00:43:12,250
以后还是有可能会喜欢别人

578
00:43:13,130 --> 00:43:15,170
你说好 就算只有一秒

579
00:43:15,460 --> 00:43:17,380
我也是全世界最开心的人

580
00:43:18,210 --> 00:43:19,380
一秒又不够

581
00:43:20,420 --> 00:43:21,550
一秒就够了

582
00:43:21,630 --> 00:43:23,630
反正你现在不要再乱讲了

583
00:43:23,710 --> 00:43:25,210
长大后再回答你

584
00:43:26,250 --> 00:43:28,840
那怎样才算是我们已经长大？

585
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:31,420
等你开始知道

586
00:43:31,500 --> 00:43:32,710
不管什么事

587
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:34,460
都会变来变去的时候

588
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:39,800
有些事

589
00:43:40,300 --> 00:43:41,840
一万年也不会变

590
00:43:46,210 --> 00:43:47,170
妹妹你的饭团

591
00:43:47,250 --> 00:43:48,130
-35元
-谢谢

592
00:43:48,210 --> 00:43:49,050
谢谢

593
00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:50,460
阿鲁

594
00:43:51,550 --> 00:43:52,800
怎么在这里？

595
00:43:53,550 --> 00:43:54,550
小咪

596
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:01,880
命中注定

597
00:44:02,170 --> 00:44:03,130
石孝纶

598
00:44:03,750 --> 00:44:06,090
你成绩那么烂 转来开诚干嘛？

599
00:44:06,170 --> 00:44:07,300
我体育班

600
00:44:07,380 --> 00:44:08,800
拜托 我樱木花道

601
00:44:14,340 --> 00:44:15,250
你不准跟着我

602
00:44:15,340 --> 00:44:16,460
不准再讲奇怪的话

603
00:44:21,130 --> 00:44:22,050
你看她

604
00:44:22,130 --> 00:44:24,250
完全不敢跟我多说一句话就逃跑

605
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:25,880
为什么？

606
00:44:27,130 --> 00:44:28,460
因为她害怕被我电到

607
00:44:31,170 --> 00:44:32,210
石孝纶

608
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:35,380
我早就改嫁彭于晏了

609
00:44:52,670 --> 00:44:54,340
你怎么可以这样说走就走？

610
00:44:57,500 --> 00:44:58,920
你怎么可以这样说走就走？

611
00:44:59,500 --> 00:45:01,170
你不可以这么调皮 你知道吗？

612
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:03,590
我失去你的话 我什么都没有

613
00:45:04,460 --> 00:45:06,250
下次不要再这样乱跑了啦

614
00:45:07,050 --> 00:45:08,050
好不好？

615
00:45:18,550 --> 00:45:20,710
阿鲁 阿鲁你看我

616
00:45:26,090 --> 00:45:26,920
球…

617
00:45:27,050 --> 00:45:27,920
阿忠

618
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:29,750
撞人

619
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:31,960
-没品耶 没品
-撞人

620
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:37,880
阿鲁也说你没品啦

621
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:38,920
你屁股啦

622
00:45:40,500 --> 00:45:42,420
-下雨
-下大雨了

623
00:45:42,500 --> 00:45:44,090
东西拿一下

624
00:45:45,420 --> 00:45:46,750
阿鲁我们走 阿鲁

625
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:47,670
阿鲁走

626
00:45:48,380 --> 00:45:50,090
下雨…

627
00:45:51,380 --> 00:45:52,340
雨怎么这么大？

628
00:45:52,420 --> 00:45:53,710
撞人啦

629
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:55,300
-给我这样撞下去 你看
-撞人啦

630
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:57,800
撞人啦

631
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:19,500
破了一个洞啦 你干嘛？

632
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:31,460
千万不要嫁给他

633
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:33,750
-不要嫁给他
-不要答应他

634
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:36,380
-不要答应 他命不好
-不要嫁给他

635
00:46:36,460 --> 00:46:38,590
-关你们什么事啊
-小心他等一下下雨路滑

636
00:46:38,670 --> 00:46:39,920
不要答应他

637
00:46:43,250 --> 00:46:44,130
你不要？

638
00:46:44,210 --> 00:46:45,630
阿鲁 你也觉得不要对不对？

639
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:55,750
有些事

640
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:57,840
一万年也不会变

641
00:47:02,500 --> 00:47:03,550
求求你嫁给我

642
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:16,130
石孝纶

643
00:48:16,210 --> 00:48:17,050
快跑 快点

644
00:48:17,130 --> 00:48:20,170
-火来了 赶快走
-快走

645
00:48:20,250 --> 00:48:22,710
石孝纶你不要被火烧到 你快跑

646
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:25,250
阿纶 快跑啊

647
00:48:25,710 --> 00:48:28,550
石孝纶 你快跑

648
00:48:28,630 --> 00:48:29,500
快跑

649
00:48:44,130 --> 00:48:45,340
找到就好

650
00:48:46,250 --> 00:48:47,340
找到就好

651
00:48:49,420 --> 00:48:50,460
找到你就好

652
00:48:52,170 --> 00:48:53,090
来

653
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:54,710
回家囉

654
00:49:04,550 --> 00:49:05,630
回家去

655
00:49:07,340 --> 00:49:08,170
走

656
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:45,800
她以前

657
00:49:47,250 --> 00:49:48,500
都在这里教我写功课

658
00:49:52,090 --> 00:49:53,800
为什么这种故事里

659
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:55,670
女生的功课都比男生好？

660
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:00,170
你很卢耶

661
00:50:00,250 --> 00:50:02,630
就跟你说这种题型一定要背公式

662
00:50:02,710 --> 00:50:03,960
考试的时候让你从头算算算

663
00:50:04,050 --> 00:50:05,050
时间怎么够用

664
00:50:10,210 --> 00:50:11,420
她高中毕业以后

665
00:50:11,500 --> 00:50:12,960
考上台北的大学

666
00:50:13,710 --> 00:50:15,130
以后要当数学老师那种

667
00:50:15,750 --> 00:50:17,170
然后

668
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:21,300
你们就在一起啦？

669
00:50:31,170 --> 00:50:32,090
所以

670
00:50:32,630 --> 00:50:34,590
你如果真的要选那门营销课的话

671
00:50:34,670 --> 00:50:35,880
你一定要下定决心

672
00:50:36,300 --> 00:50:37,840
绝对不能迟到

673
00:50:38,130 --> 00:50:39,550
迟到会被盯上

674
00:50:41,710 --> 00:50:44,050
那堂课的参考书 你可以先不要买

675
00:50:44,460 --> 00:50:45,550
我的可以留给你

676
00:50:45,630 --> 00:50:46,590
真的啊？

677
00:50:46,670 --> 00:50:49,210
那代表说里面都有你的笔记

678
00:50:49,300 --> 00:50:51,840
然后到时候 我就可以看你划的重点

679
00:50:52,550 --> 00:50:53,500
对吧？

680
00:50:54,340 --> 00:50:56,050
我写得还算整齐 应该…

681
00:50:58,590 --> 00:50:59,550
石孝纶 你干嘛？

682
00:50:59,630 --> 00:51:00,920
超大超好吃耶

683
00:51:01,500 --> 00:51:03,630
营养有点不均衡

684
00:51:03,710 --> 00:51:04,590
对…

685
00:51:04,670 --> 00:51:05,840
我们不要吃这个烂东西

686
00:51:07,670 --> 00:51:08,880
他是不是在不爽

687
00:51:09,710 --> 00:51:10,840
他敢

688
00:51:16,420 --> 00:51:18,090
算我的 我请客

689
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:19,710
算是谢谢你

690
00:51:20,420 --> 00:51:21,460
谢谢我？

691
00:51:21,550 --> 00:51:22,960
谢谢你帮我养未来老婆

692
00:51:23,670 --> 00:51:25,880
“挖咖摸斗 阿哩嘎豆”

693
00:51:26,460 --> 00:51:28,420
石孝纶 你再乱讲话

694
00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:29,800
你要嫁给他？

695
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:30,750
我没有

696
00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:32,380
那你要娶她吗？

697
00:51:32,630 --> 00:51:33,500
还早吧

698
00:51:33,590 --> 00:51:34,500
你看

699
00:51:34,590 --> 00:51:36,130
你没有要娶她 但我有

700
00:51:36,210 --> 00:51:38,380
我从小学五年级就天天拜托她嫁给我

701
00:51:38,460 --> 00:51:39,840
石孝纶 你再乱讲话 我要走了

702
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:40,920
好啦…

703
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:42,170
你不要走

704
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:43,750
你走了

705
00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:45,500
我不知道要跟他聊什么 很尴尬

706
00:51:45,590 --> 00:51:47,880
白痴 我当然是带他一起走

707
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:49,710
好嘛…

708
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:50,880
那你们等一下要去哪里？

709
00:51:53,750 --> 00:51:54,630
我…

710
00:51:54,710 --> 00:51:56,880
我听说附近的汽车旅馆

711
00:51:58,250 --> 00:51:59,170
都死过人

712
00:52:00,050 --> 00:52:01,550
因为去过的都说

713
00:52:01,630 --> 00:52:03,250
会被推屁股

714
00:52:03,420 --> 00:52:04,500
推屁股

715
00:52:06,090 --> 00:52:07,210
推

716
00:52:08,250 --> 00:52:09,170
石孝纶

717
00:52:09,550 --> 00:52:11,880
石孝纶 你不要再给我丢脸好不好？

718
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:13,920
-你真的很幼稚
-推…

719
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:15,090
石孝纶

720
00:52:29,550 --> 00:52:31,960
阿鲁今天精神好像还不错

721
00:52:33,670 --> 00:52:34,550
好像是耶

722
00:52:35,750 --> 00:52:36,670
阿鲁 来

723
00:52:44,630 --> 00:52:46,340
爸 你浴室灯又不关

724
00:53:04,250 --> 00:53:05,460
你在干嘛？

725
00:53:08,090 --> 00:53:09,460
就跟你说不要来

726
00:53:09,550 --> 00:53:10,880
硬要来 真倒霉

727
00:53:15,170 --> 00:53:16,170
你知道怎么看到鬼吗？

728
00:53:16,250 --> 00:53:17,710
我一点都不想知道

729
00:53:18,380 --> 00:53:19,210
鬼啊…

730
00:53:19,300 --> 00:53:20,800
我说我不想知道

731
00:53:22,300 --> 00:53:23,920
就是你越想要看到他的时候

732
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:25,050
他越不会出现

733
00:53:26,340 --> 00:53:28,090
但当你不经意的时候…

734
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:36,250
你干嘛？神经病啊

735
00:53:36,340 --> 00:53:37,250
去死啦你

736
00:53:37,340 --> 00:53:39,750
你去死…

737
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:41,380
怎么这么无聊、幼稚？

738
00:53:56,250 --> 00:53:58,000
我啦…

739
00:53:58,420 --> 00:53:59,340
我们在一起吧

740
00:54:00,630 --> 00:54:02,000
不要啦

741
00:54:02,550 --> 00:54:04,550
我们认识那么久 这样子很怪

742
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:11,300
前几天我爸说

743
00:54:12,090 --> 00:54:13,250
像我那么难搞

744
00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:15,500
以后一定很难嫁出去

745
00:54:28,590 --> 00:54:29,880
30岁的时候

746
00:54:31,460 --> 00:54:32,420
你没有人要

747
00:54:34,750 --> 00:54:35,840
你就嫁给我

748
00:54:38,590 --> 00:54:39,800
不要

749
00:54:42,750 --> 00:54:43,960
那31岁

750
00:54:45,050 --> 00:54:46,050
你没人要

751
00:54:48,050 --> 00:54:49,500
就让我娶你

752
00:54:51,460 --> 00:54:52,340
不要

753
00:54:52,420 --> 00:54:53,420
32岁呢？

754
00:54:55,250 --> 00:54:56,130
不要

755
00:54:58,050 --> 00:54:58,960
33岁

756
00:54:59,050 --> 00:54:59,920
不要

757
00:55:00,130 --> 00:55:01,050
34

758
00:55:02,300 --> 00:55:03,130
不要

759
00:55:04,130 --> 00:55:05,050
35呢？

760
00:55:05,130 --> 00:55:06,000
不要

761
00:55:11,590 --> 00:55:12,840
你60岁的时候没人要

762
00:55:13,590 --> 00:55:14,460
我们就结婚嘛

763
00:55:14,550 --> 00:55:15,380
不要

764
00:55:15,460 --> 00:55:17,590
那一百呢？一百岁的时候没人要

765
00:55:17,670 --> 00:55:18,960
你就嫁给我啊

766
00:55:19,050 --> 00:55:20,920
一百岁的时候 我很老耶

767
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:22,630
我也很老啊

768
00:55:23,090 --> 00:55:25,210
我怎么可能一百岁都还嫁不出去啦

769
00:55:25,300 --> 00:55:26,710
因为我还没娶你嘛

770
00:55:30,380 --> 00:55:32,170
大半夜吵什么吵啊？

771
00:55:32,250 --> 00:55:34,050
大家都不用睡觉是不是啊？

772
00:55:34,130 --> 00:55:35,380
开房间啊

773
00:55:35,460 --> 00:55:36,920
-开房间啊
-开房间

774
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:38,300
-开房间
-开房间

775
00:55:41,420 --> 00:55:42,300
石孝纶你…

776
00:55:47,130 --> 00:55:47,960
你是…

777
00:55:48,630 --> 00:55:49,920
打架很强啊？

778
00:55:52,210 --> 00:55:53,090
你被打就算了

779
00:55:53,170 --> 00:55:54,590
如果阿鲁也被打怎么办？

780
00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:58,170
干嘛？不要乱动

781
00:55:58,250 --> 00:55:59,550
鼻血一直流啦

782
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:04,550
我真的要被你气死

783
00:56:06,130 --> 00:56:07,170
你在干嘛啦？

784
00:56:07,250 --> 00:56:08,250
不要那么幼稚好不好？

785
00:56:08,340 --> 00:56:09,590
你又不是三岁

786
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:25,300
在一起？

787
00:56:30,550 --> 00:56:31,380
好啊

788
00:56:32,090 --> 00:56:32,960
好啊

789
00:56:36,250 --> 00:56:37,130
好啊

790
00:56:54,590 --> 00:56:55,710
要不要我请客？

791
00:56:56,380 --> 00:56:57,550
好啊

792
00:57:00,300 --> 00:57:01,340
我说好啊

793
00:57:04,170 --> 00:57:05,130
走啊

794
00:57:09,670 --> 00:57:10,750
不要就算了啦

795
00:58:11,550 --> 00:58:12,710
不要这样啦

796
00:58:14,340 --> 00:58:15,590
人太多啦

797
00:58:17,090 --> 00:58:18,170
等一下

798
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:19,880
你手很脏

799
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:21,630
你在干嘛？

800
00:58:29,340 --> 00:58:30,550
今天这么早就关了？

801
00:58:31,250 --> 00:58:32,460
我爸去拜我妈啦

802
00:58:33,550 --> 00:58:34,670
你那个拆掉囉？

803
00:58:38,380 --> 00:58:39,250
好了啦

804
00:58:39,340 --> 00:58:40,420
单挑…

805
00:58:40,500 --> 00:58:41,380
-有没有种？
-你有没有种？

806
00:58:41,460 --> 00:58:43,090
-当然有啊
-要不要单挑？

807
00:58:43,170 --> 00:58:44,300
我怕你们啊

808
00:58:44,380 --> 00:58:45,250
再约…

809
00:58:45,340 --> 00:58:46,250
-记得喔
-有种单挑

810
00:58:46,340 --> 00:58:48,090
-下次啦…
-再约喔

811
00:58:49,380 --> 00:58:50,210
拜拜

812
00:58:50,300 --> 00:58:51,250
没在怕你

813
00:58:51,340 --> 00:58:53,500
-我也没在怕你啦 拜拜
-拜拜

814
00:59:08,250 --> 00:59:09,500
对不起啦

815
00:59:10,460 --> 00:59:12,300
我要是知道我会突然死掉

816
00:59:13,090 --> 00:59:14,250
我就不会追你啦

817
00:59:15,710 --> 00:59:16,840
至少

818
00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:19,050
不会追你那么久

819
00:59:20,130 --> 00:59:21,750
你好不容易才喜欢上我

820
00:59:23,340 --> 00:59:24,500
你知道我现在在干嘛吗？

821
00:59:25,250 --> 00:59:26,300
我当月老

822
00:59:27,210 --> 00:59:28,300
不管是一男一女

823
00:59:28,380 --> 00:59:29,460
还是两男两女

824
00:59:30,090 --> 00:59:31,210
甚至是排气管

825
00:59:32,130 --> 00:59:33,250
我只要绑上红线

826
00:59:33,340 --> 00:59:34,420
他们就会谈恋爱

827
00:59:35,300 --> 00:59:36,250
很神奇吧？

828
00:59:39,090 --> 00:59:40,380
他们讲好久

829
00:59:41,130 --> 00:59:43,210
你进去看一下
他们到底在说什么好不好？

830
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:45,630
是有什么东西可以聊那么久？

831
00:59:48,550 --> 00:59:49,800
不是啊 但我是讲认真的

832
00:59:49,880 --> 00:59:50,920
你不觉得…

833
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:52,000
好 对…

834
00:59:52,090 --> 00:59:54,920
但你不觉得其实
我真的也长得不差吗？

835
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:57,130
为什么他就不会看看我啊？

836
00:59:57,210 --> 00:59:58,670
原来我追你追那么辛苦

837
00:59:59,460 --> 01:00:01,090
就是没有月老帮我们绑红线

838
01:00:03,710 --> 01:00:05,300
那些月老到底在做什么？

839
01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:14,050
阿鲁

840
01:00:18,380 --> 01:00:19,550
阿鲁进来

841
01:00:26,670 --> 01:00:28,380
整形医师啦

842
01:00:28,460 --> 01:00:30,210
-第一擅长隆乳
-第二擅长隆鼻

843
01:00:30,300 --> 01:00:31,300
-丰唇
-垫下巴

844
01:00:31,380 --> 01:00:32,500
-肉毒
-玻尿酸

845
01:00:32,590 --> 01:00:34,090
-电波拉皮
-还有磨腮

846
01:00:34,170 --> 01:00:35,050
打折

847
01:00:35,130 --> 01:00:36,000
不…

848
01:00:36,090 --> 01:00:37,550
-根本不用钱
-根本不用钱

849
01:00:37,630 --> 01:00:40,960
SBL黑人洋将 臂长两公尺二

850
01:00:41,050 --> 01:00:42,460
有关体能的运动

851
01:00:42,550 --> 01:00:44,090
都已经达到人生的顶峰

852
01:00:44,170 --> 01:00:47,000
绝对超屌

853
01:00:48,170 --> 01:00:50,590
永和中正路40年的早餐店

854
01:00:50,670 --> 01:00:53,500
芝麻烧饼配一杯温醇的豆浆

855
01:00:53,590 --> 01:00:54,710
没对手啦

856
01:00:54,800 --> 01:00:56,840
包场过《十二夜》

857
01:00:58,590 --> 01:00:59,800
彭于晏

858
01:01:04,630 --> 01:01:06,920
你要不要选选看？

859
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:08,300
感觉都还不错

860
01:01:12,880 --> 01:01:15,050
小咪

861
01:01:16,050 --> 01:01:17,300
跟谁

862
01:01:17,880 --> 01:01:19,590
在一起…

863
01:01:21,630 --> 01:01:22,840
好呢？

864
01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:25,090
快点告诉我啦

865
01:01:27,170 --> 01:01:28,050
好不好？

866
01:01:28,130 --> 01:01:29,630
好 选他就对了 我跟你说

867
01:01:29,710 --> 01:01:31,800
-这40年的
-等一下 不要 等等…

868
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:32,710
饿不死啦

869
01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:34,050
确定早餐店好吃耶？

870
01:01:34,130 --> 01:01:35,920
我生前吃到现在
你没看到我还在拿吗？

871
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:37,130
我跟你说 你就是要…

872
01:01:37,210 --> 01:01:38,050
等等 不…

873
01:01:38,130 --> 01:01:38,960
怕冷吗？

874
01:01:39,380 --> 01:01:40,420
绝对不能怕冷

875
01:01:40,500 --> 01:01:42,710
小咪想看极光 所以绝对不能怕冷

876
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:43,750
你在操心什么？

877
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:45,500
爱情不是这样开玩笑的啦

878
01:01:45,590 --> 01:01:46,500
黑漆漆

879
01:01:49,630 --> 01:01:51,210
我跟你说 你就让我…

880
01:02:05,210 --> 01:02:07,380
我死了50年 没看过这种事

881
01:02:07,460 --> 01:02:09,800
会不会那个芝麻烧饼突然死掉？

882
01:02:09,880 --> 01:02:12,090
红线一旦绑上去 姻缘爆发

883
01:02:12,170 --> 01:02:13,920
爱情没有开花结果之前

884
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:15,090
想死也死不掉

885
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:16,920
这是月老第二定律

886
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:17,840
对了

887
01:02:18,340 --> 01:02:19,550
我不知道他是不是同志

888
01:02:20,130 --> 01:02:21,170
糟糕

889
01:02:21,250 --> 01:02:23,710
好男人百分之九十都是同志

890
01:02:24,170 --> 01:02:25,210
月老第一定律

891
01:02:25,300 --> 01:02:27,250
爱情来了什么都挡不住

892
01:02:27,340 --> 01:02:29,250
试试我这个尺寸

893
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:34,800
-彭于晏
-彭于晏

894
01:02:38,050 --> 01:02:39,670
烧起来了…

895
01:02:39,750 --> 01:02:40,710
-怎么办？
-干嘛？

896
01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:42,050
这下怎么办？

897
01:02:42,130 --> 01:02:43,300
等等…

898
01:02:54,550 --> 01:02:55,960
人权律师 吕秋远

899
01:02:59,710 --> 01:03:02,590
NBA有史以来最长的脚

900
01:03:04,090 --> 01:03:06,920
红线绑不上 一绑就烧

901
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:08,380
太扯了 是不是尼姑病？

902
01:03:08,460 --> 01:03:09,550
三百条

903
01:03:09,630 --> 01:03:11,210
变魔术的 天天逗小咪

904
01:03:13,630 --> 01:03:15,340
五月天阿信

905
01:03:24,960 --> 01:03:26,210
3500条

906
01:03:26,300 --> 01:03:29,170
我个人就贡献了有11条

907
01:03:29,590 --> 01:03:30,920
我33条

908
01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:32,130
我跟你说

909
01:03:32,710 --> 01:03:35,460
大家都非常地想念你

910
01:03:36,420 --> 01:03:38,710
每一个人都开始在比赛说谁比较想你

911
01:03:39,420 --> 01:03:40,670
但跟你说一个秘密

912
01:03:40,750 --> 01:03:42,090
最…

913
01:03:42,170 --> 01:03:43,750
最想你的人

914
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:46,340
那一定还是我

915
01:03:48,920 --> 01:03:50,670
他们打算一口气

916
01:03:50,750 --> 01:03:51,800
绑一百条

917
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:53,630
-一百条
-一百条

918
01:04:06,340 --> 01:04:07,500
谢谢 谢谢大家

919
01:04:07,590 --> 01:04:08,800
下次早点来

920
01:04:09,880 --> 01:04:11,090
谢谢…

921
01:04:23,960 --> 01:04:27,250
你有看过吗？八千条

922
01:04:27,340 --> 01:04:29,170
八千条 天啊

923
01:04:29,250 --> 01:04:32,840
真的是不敢相信

924
01:04:32,920 --> 01:04:36,500
通缉令 鬼头成

925
01:04:49,300 --> 01:04:50,300
中了

926
01:04:58,050 --> 01:05:00,210
五百年

927
01:05:00,300 --> 01:05:02,000
这辈子

928
01:05:02,960 --> 01:05:07,130
还是一个废物

929
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:41,000
这样看着我干嘛？

930
01:05:42,460 --> 01:05:43,800
我杀你

931
01:05:44,670 --> 01:05:46,170
是因果

932
01:05:47,420 --> 01:05:49,340
是报应

933
01:05:57,800 --> 01:05:58,880
毒

934
01:06:02,710 --> 01:06:03,800
是哪个？

935
01:06:07,460 --> 01:06:09,250
是哪个？

936
01:06:09,340 --> 01:06:10,170
官老爷

937
01:06:11,380 --> 01:06:13,340
只要你一个人的人头

938
01:06:13,880 --> 01:06:15,460
就可以换兄弟们活命

939
01:06:17,500 --> 01:06:19,710
是你…

940
01:06:29,880 --> 01:06:30,840
对不起

941
01:06:30,920 --> 01:06:31,800
老大

942
01:06:32,170 --> 01:06:33,340
别怪兄弟

943
01:06:33,420 --> 01:06:34,710
老大好走

944
01:06:35,090 --> 01:06:36,630
多谢老大成全

945
01:07:01,800 --> 01:07:04,800
所以是不是很奇怪？很夸张啊

946
01:07:05,380 --> 01:07:06,500
那个女孩子

947
01:07:06,590 --> 01:07:08,460
不管绑多少条红线

948
01:07:08,550 --> 01:07:10,210
马上就烧掉

949
01:07:10,300 --> 01:07:11,210
现在那个小孩子

950
01:07:11,300 --> 01:07:13,340
都已经把它当成比赛在玩了

951
01:07:16,130 --> 01:07:17,170
老大

952
01:07:17,500 --> 01:07:20,250
这件事情有点蹊跷

953
01:07:24,340 --> 01:07:25,210
好啦

954
01:07:26,130 --> 01:07:28,300
我冒着生命危险 我打听到了啦

955
01:07:28,880 --> 01:07:30,840
有个月老 他莫名其妙

956
01:07:30,920 --> 01:07:32,710
就把红线绑在那个…

957
01:07:33,590 --> 01:07:35,170
讨厌的排气管上面

958
01:07:39,500 --> 01:07:41,090
那个排气管还在那边…

959
01:07:52,090 --> 01:07:52,960
老大

960
01:07:53,840 --> 01:07:55,170
鬼头成

961
01:07:58,710 --> 01:07:59,880
是怎样？不能听喔？

962
01:08:00,460 --> 01:08:01,800
鬼头成我比你还熟啦

963
01:08:06,550 --> 01:08:08,960
第二个被杀的冤亲债主

964
01:08:09,630 --> 01:08:10,710
是个女的

965
01:08:12,130 --> 01:08:15,090
魂魄都碎了

966
01:08:17,670 --> 01:08:18,880
怨气这么重喔？

967
01:08:28,340 --> 01:08:30,750
请问可以给我靠窗户的位置吗？

968
01:08:31,460 --> 01:08:33,300
窗户？窗户吗？

969
01:08:33,380 --> 01:08:34,340
是的…

970
01:08:34,420 --> 01:08:37,670
请问洗手间在哪里？

971
01:08:37,750 --> 01:08:38,750
房间

972
01:08:39,090 --> 01:08:40,090
-房间
-在那边？

973
01:08:40,170 --> 01:08:42,210
-一定是什么房间
-好的…

974
01:08:42,300 --> 01:08:43,170
你有病

975
01:08:43,250 --> 01:08:44,250
抱歉

976
01:08:44,340 --> 01:08:45,800
我比较喜欢这个

977
01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:47,710
-祝你有个愉快的一天
-这个我一定知道

978
01:08:47,800 --> 01:08:48,630
开心什么？

979
01:08:48,710 --> 01:08:49,880
什么生日？

980
01:08:49,960 --> 01:08:52,590
-开心？什么开心的日子啦
-祝你有美好的一天

981
01:08:52,960 --> 01:08:54,250
干嘛…

982
01:08:55,340 --> 01:08:56,750
干嘛…

983
01:08:59,380 --> 01:09:00,800
怎么了…

984
01:09:04,250 --> 01:09:05,500
各位

985
01:09:16,130 --> 01:09:17,340
你拿这条

986
01:09:17,840 --> 01:09:18,960
另一边绑谁啊？

987
01:09:19,050 --> 01:09:20,300
先把她治好再说

988
01:09:21,130 --> 01:09:22,130
好粗喔

989
01:09:29,050 --> 01:09:30,090
哪里找来的啊？

990
01:09:30,960 --> 01:09:32,090
那不是月老房那条吗？

991
01:09:32,170 --> 01:09:33,250
你干嘛？

992
01:09:34,420 --> 01:09:36,750
你不是想要小咪幸福吗？我帮你

993
01:09:38,000 --> 01:09:40,500
真的假的？不可能吧？

994
01:09:41,420 --> 01:09:42,920
哪来的红线？

995
01:09:43,630 --> 01:09:44,710
织女红线

996
01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:46,380
这个是织女红线

997
01:09:47,130 --> 01:09:48,130
就是这条

998
01:09:49,090 --> 01:09:50,090
够了吧？

999
01:09:51,130 --> 01:09:52,380
你在开玩笑吧？

1000
01:09:54,340 --> 01:09:55,380
差不多囉

1001
01:09:59,800 --> 01:10:00,920
够了

1002
01:11:41,920 --> 01:11:43,130
她最近常常这样子

1003
01:11:43,590 --> 01:11:45,170
魂不守舍

1004
01:11:45,250 --> 01:11:46,550
要不要帮忙介绍？

1005
01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:49,130
顺其自然啦

1006
01:11:50,550 --> 01:11:51,880
介绍收惊的啦

1007
01:11:51,960 --> 01:11:52,800
退

1008
01:11:53,840 --> 01:11:54,710
张开嘴吐气

1009
01:11:57,500 --> 01:11:58,340
吐气

1010
01:12:01,250 --> 01:12:03,130
你不是带天命的

1011
01:12:03,210 --> 01:12:04,590
看到也不能说

1012
01:12:04,920 --> 01:12:06,380
绝对不能说

1013
01:12:20,960 --> 01:12:22,090
阿鲁

1014
01:12:43,800 --> 01:12:44,670
阿鲁

1015
01:12:45,210 --> 01:12:46,210
找到就好

1016
01:12:47,000 --> 01:12:48,050
找到你就好

1017
01:12:48,840 --> 01:12:49,800
回家囉

1018
01:13:07,960 --> 01:13:09,170
走

1019
01:13:37,500 --> 01:13:39,800
旁边那女生是谁啦？

1020
01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:44,920
对不起啦

1021
01:13:46,340 --> 01:13:47,750
我要是知道我会突然死掉

1022
01:13:47,840 --> 01:13:49,210
我就不追你啦

1023
01:13:50,670 --> 01:13:51,500
怕冷吗？

1024
01:13:51,590 --> 01:13:52,630
绝对不能怕冷

1025
01:13:52,710 --> 01:13:55,050
小咪想看极光 所以绝对不能怕冷

1026
01:13:55,130 --> 01:13:56,880
现在就有冷气 也有暖气

1027
01:13:56,960 --> 01:13:59,090
-你在操心什么？
-爱情不是这样开玩笑的啦

1028
01:14:03,670 --> 01:14:04,630
谢谢大家

1029
01:14:04,710 --> 01:14:05,920
下次早点来

1030
01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:08,250
谢谢…

1031
01:14:12,250 --> 01:14:13,840
谢谢…

1032
01:14:13,920 --> 01:14:15,340
下次请早…

1033
01:14:15,420 --> 01:14:16,590
多一点人啊

1034
01:14:17,960 --> 01:14:20,460
为什么一定要我跟别人在一起？

1035
01:14:46,920 --> 01:14:47,880
你一直…

1036
01:14:50,710 --> 01:14:51,750
都看得到我？

1037
01:14:52,920 --> 01:14:54,340
我一直都看得到你

1038
01:14:56,500 --> 01:14:57,590
听得到你

1039
01:15:02,750 --> 01:15:04,670
为什么我还要跟别人在一起？

1040
01:15:06,050 --> 01:15:07,590
我好想跟你说话

1041
01:15:08,420 --> 01:15:09,250
抱你

1042
01:15:10,050 --> 01:15:10,960
亲你

1043
01:15:13,630 --> 01:15:16,000
但是我好怕阴阳眼被收走

1044
01:15:16,090 --> 01:15:17,750
我就再也看不到你

1045
01:15:30,250 --> 01:15:31,130
干

1046
01:15:31,300 --> 01:15:32,170
干

1047
01:15:32,250 --> 01:15:33,130
干

1048
01:15:33,210 --> 01:15:34,090
干…

1049
01:15:51,210 --> 01:15:52,340
阿鲁

1050
01:15:53,880 --> 01:15:55,170
阿鲁它生病了

1051
01:15:55,250 --> 01:15:56,250
我知道

1052
01:15:56,550 --> 01:15:57,920
我什么都知道

1053
01:16:02,170 --> 01:16:04,000
我们永远不要分开好不好？

1054
01:16:04,550 --> 01:16:06,880
我们永远都不要分开了

1055
01:16:30,920 --> 01:16:32,840
对了 我跟你说

1056
01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:34,250
真的有牛头马面

1057
01:16:34,340 --> 01:16:35,500
而且牛头

1058
01:16:36,050 --> 01:16:37,170
是个女生

1059
01:16:37,710 --> 01:16:39,250
-超帅的 你想不到吧？
-女生？

1060
01:16:39,340 --> 01:16:42,130
…给他抓到

1061
01:16:45,090 --> 01:16:47,210
-你干嘛吓人啦？
-超帅的

1062
01:16:47,300 --> 01:16:48,880
厉害吧？女生耶

1063
01:16:48,960 --> 01:16:52,050
那马面呢？马面是不是长得脸很长

1064
01:16:52,300 --> 01:16:53,800
然后长得跟马一模一样？

1065
01:16:54,590 --> 01:16:57,090
对了 平常我在那边烧给你那些…

1066
01:16:57,420 --> 01:16:58,960
车子啊 然后…

1067
01:16:59,050 --> 01:17:01,380
真的啦 他们那天真的很难过

1068
01:17:01,500 --> 01:17:02,460
真的假的啦？

1069
01:17:02,550 --> 01:17:03,590
真的啦

1070
01:17:04,000 --> 01:17:06,250
你猜那天 谁哭得最惨？

1071
01:17:06,340 --> 01:17:07,880
-阿福
-错

1072
01:17:09,210 --> 01:17:10,550
-屁
-想不到吧？

1073
01:17:11,750 --> 01:17:13,800
-屁啦
-真的啦

1074
01:17:13,880 --> 01:17:15,130
阿基耶？

1075
01:17:19,630 --> 01:17:20,750
好啦

1076
01:17:21,710 --> 01:17:23,960
你们死后下来 我照顾你们

1077
01:17:24,050 --> 01:17:25,420
但别太早死啊

1078
01:17:25,500 --> 01:17:26,840
再照顾小咪几年

1079
01:17:26,920 --> 01:17:28,960
什么过几年 人家活很久好不好？

1080
01:17:29,050 --> 01:17:30,500
不要乱诅咒人家

1081
01:17:36,420 --> 01:17:38,050
石孝纶

1082
01:17:38,550 --> 01:17:40,050
你走开啦

1083
01:17:40,670 --> 01:17:41,800
烦耶

1084
01:17:42,630 --> 01:17:43,550
石孝纶

1085
01:17:44,050 --> 01:17:45,300
上太久会得痔疮

1086
01:17:45,920 --> 01:17:48,090
怎么那么恶心啊？你干嘛？

1087
01:17:54,000 --> 01:17:55,210
走路怎么没声音啊？

1088
01:17:55,300 --> 01:17:56,250
你是鬼喔？

1089
01:17:56,340 --> 01:17:57,880
冰箱会坏掉

1090
01:18:01,750 --> 01:18:03,000
石孝纶

1091
01:18:04,300 --> 01:18:05,380
石孝纶

1092
01:18:08,090 --> 01:18:09,130
真的坏掉了

1093
01:18:16,880 --> 01:18:17,920
不要

1094
01:18:26,380 --> 01:18:28,090
你家人有没有烧东西给你？

1095
01:18:28,840 --> 01:18:29,880
干你屁事

1096
01:18:30,750 --> 01:18:31,670
你干嘛不讲话？

1097
01:18:34,500 --> 01:18:36,630
你要天天这样人鬼恋到什么时候？

1098
01:18:37,250 --> 01:18:40,130
你死了以后 小咪是应该要天天想你

1099
01:18:40,340 --> 01:18:42,710
然后跟一个男的 重点是活的

1100
01:18:43,670 --> 01:18:45,170
谈恋爱 结婚生子

1101
01:18:45,250 --> 01:18:46,420
日子一天天过下去

1102
01:18:48,250 --> 01:18:49,380
你又不是没看到

1103
01:18:49,920 --> 01:18:51,420
红线根本绑不上去

1104
01:18:51,840 --> 01:18:53,050
一万条耶

1105
01:18:53,130 --> 01:18:54,420
还不是烧光光

1106
01:18:54,500 --> 01:18:56,630
那是因为你一直在她旁边走来走去

1107
01:19:08,800 --> 01:19:09,750
我知道你在想什么

1108
01:19:10,800 --> 01:19:12,000
我在想什么？

1109
01:19:12,090 --> 01:19:13,420
你怕小咪死掉以后

1110
01:19:15,550 --> 01:19:16,630
我会改跟她搭档

1111
01:19:18,630 --> 01:19:19,500
对

1112
01:19:20,000 --> 01:19:21,630
我知道小咪死掉以后

1113
01:19:21,710 --> 01:19:22,590
你就会去跟她搭档

1114
01:19:22,670 --> 01:19:24,050
然后你就会叫我去投胎

1115
01:19:24,130 --> 01:19:25,710
我可以 我没问题

1116
01:19:25,800 --> 01:19:27,300
我都很好啊

1117
01:19:30,340 --> 01:19:32,420
但她问题是她就是还没死

1118
01:19:32,500 --> 01:19:33,710
你就是我的嘛

1119
01:19:40,210 --> 01:19:41,460
我的搭挡啦

1120
01:19:56,300 --> 01:19:57,170
渣男

1121
01:20:06,800 --> 01:20:08,250
最近都没有看到你的搭档

1122
01:20:10,460 --> 01:20:11,590
她在闹脾气

1123
01:20:13,710 --> 01:20:14,800
你真的看不出来啊？

1124
01:20:17,590 --> 01:20:19,710
你真的看不出来她很喜欢你吗？

1125
01:20:20,130 --> 01:20:21,300
我就…

1126
01:20:21,380 --> 01:20:22,500
就人见人爱啊

1127
01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:25,420
不是那种喜欢啦

1128
01:20:25,500 --> 01:20:26,380
小咪

1129
01:20:28,250 --> 01:20:29,170
嗨

1130
01:20:29,920 --> 01:20:30,960
阿鲁还好吗？

1131
01:20:31,750 --> 01:20:33,050
好多了 谢谢

1132
01:20:33,380 --> 01:20:35,420
上个礼拜小学同学会

1133
01:20:35,500 --> 01:20:36,550
-大家都在问你
-好久不见

1134
01:20:37,670 --> 01:20:38,630
我那天有事

1135
01:20:48,340 --> 01:20:50,880
你知道吗 在1907年

1136
01:20:51,050 --> 01:20:53,960
美国麻省有一个医学博士
叫麦克道格

1137
01:20:54,050 --> 01:20:55,840
他用了六个快死掉的病人

1138
01:20:55,920 --> 01:20:57,250
-做了一个实验
-你趁我死了

1139
01:20:58,050 --> 01:20:59,710
-人在死掉的时候
-在这里放电

1140
01:20:59,800 --> 01:21:00,960
体重会瞬间掉…

1141
01:21:01,050 --> 01:21:01,960
你不要吵啦

1142
01:21:02,050 --> 01:21:03,590
我爱跟谁放电就跟谁放电

1143
01:21:07,880 --> 01:21:10,840
体重会瞬间掉10到21克

1144
01:21:11,500 --> 01:21:12,840
我想说的是

1145
01:21:13,090 --> 01:21:15,130
闪电打下来都过了这么久

1146
01:21:15,210 --> 01:21:16,590
你真的不要太伤心

1147
01:21:16,670 --> 01:21:18,170
虽然阿纶他死了

1148
01:21:18,630 --> 01:21:20,210
但至少还有21克

1149
01:21:20,750 --> 01:21:22,460
他应该 不…

1150
01:21:22,550 --> 01:21:24,550
一定在西方极乐念经了啦

1151
01:21:26,840 --> 01:21:28,840
你不要吵啦 人家讲那么认真

1152
01:21:34,840 --> 01:21:36,170
我小时候

1153
01:21:36,250 --> 01:21:37,960
也有一个幻想的朋友

1154
01:21:38,710 --> 01:21:41,000
不过我考上大学就戒掉

1155
01:21:41,460 --> 01:21:42,460
是喔

1156
01:21:43,670 --> 01:21:44,920
会不会戒得太晚啦？

1157
01:21:46,960 --> 01:21:49,630
主要是他数学很强

1158
01:21:49,710 --> 01:21:51,380
我不会都会问他

1159
01:21:54,340 --> 01:21:55,710
我开玩笑的啦

1160
01:21:57,840 --> 01:21:58,920
我数学很好

1161
01:21:59,420 --> 01:22:00,460
我都自己写的

1162
01:22:07,920 --> 01:22:08,800
妹妹

1163
01:22:08,880 --> 01:22:12,000
你最近有没有听到一些可疑的事情？

1164
01:22:12,960 --> 01:22:16,460
有一条红线
一直绑不上去的那个女孩子

1165
01:22:16,750 --> 01:22:17,590
后来怎么了？

1166
01:22:18,130 --> 01:22:19,500
不要这么八卦

1167
01:22:19,590 --> 01:22:20,670
我们真的很赶

1168
01:22:20,750 --> 01:22:22,170
赶什么啊？

1169
01:22:22,250 --> 01:22:23,300
赶去投胎吗？

1170
01:22:33,250 --> 01:22:35,210
灯塔水母比龙虾还要厉害

1171
01:22:35,300 --> 01:22:37,590
它的细胞可以无限地新陈代谢

1172
01:22:37,670 --> 01:22:39,050
基本上它是不会死掉的

1173
01:22:39,300 --> 01:22:42,300
但是如果有遇到海龟的话

1174
01:22:42,380 --> 01:22:43,340
它就会…

1175
01:22:48,670 --> 01:22:49,550
你朋友？

1176
01:22:51,840 --> 01:22:52,960
你朋友？

1177
01:22:53,210 --> 01:22:54,340
不认识

1178
01:23:13,710 --> 01:23:14,960
多谢老大成全

1179
01:23:41,550 --> 01:23:42,880
人生不如意

1180
01:23:44,050 --> 01:23:45,590
十常八九

1181
01:23:57,420 --> 01:23:58,250
阿纶

1182
01:24:00,300 --> 01:24:01,300
大哥 你哪位啊？

1183
01:24:01,380 --> 01:24:04,460
五百年前 你砍下我的头

1184
01:24:04,550 --> 01:24:07,460
想起来 给我想起来

1185
01:24:11,960 --> 01:24:13,380
先生…

1186
01:24:17,670 --> 01:24:18,710
快跑

1187
01:24:21,550 --> 01:24:22,500
小咪快走

1188
01:24:22,590 --> 01:24:23,420
快点

1189
01:24:24,670 --> 01:24:25,550
小咪

1190
01:24:25,840 --> 01:24:26,960
你干嘛不走？

1191
01:24:30,960 --> 01:24:31,800
快走

1192
01:24:34,920 --> 01:24:35,750
快走啊

1193
01:24:44,460 --> 01:24:45,380
石孝纶

1194
01:24:45,920 --> 01:24:46,750
小咪

1195
01:24:47,840 --> 01:24:48,670
小咪

1196
01:25:07,300 --> 01:25:08,670
小咪快走

1197
01:25:10,500 --> 01:25:11,840
快走 快

1198
01:25:15,750 --> 01:25:17,000
大哥 冷静

1199
01:25:31,800 --> 01:25:33,750
阴阳有界

1200
01:25:35,420 --> 01:25:37,300
阴阳有界

1201
01:25:38,210 --> 01:25:39,500
月老石孝纶

1202
01:25:40,210 --> 01:25:41,710
给我滚过来

1203
01:25:50,670 --> 01:25:51,750
报告长官

1204
01:25:52,170 --> 01:25:53,090
这里有鬼

1205
01:25:56,340 --> 01:25:57,340
学长

1206
01:25:57,960 --> 01:26:00,500
老大明明给你这么好的机会

1207
01:26:02,090 --> 01:26:04,210
到底在执迷不悟什么？

1208
01:26:04,500 --> 01:26:06,670
我当了牛头五百年

1209
01:26:09,920 --> 01:26:13,590
亲眼看着那些王八蛋

1210
01:26:13,670 --> 01:26:15,710
在我的面前

1211
01:26:16,500 --> 01:26:18,880
投胎又投胎

1212
01:26:18,960 --> 01:26:21,460
我决定回来报仇的时候

1213
01:26:21,840 --> 01:26:23,340
他们什么都忘了

1214
01:26:28,170 --> 01:26:29,630
只有我

1215
01:26:30,710 --> 01:26:31,880
忘不掉

1216
01:26:32,750 --> 01:26:34,380
跟我回去

1217
01:26:37,090 --> 01:26:39,300
我不想一直再玩那套

1218
01:26:39,380 --> 01:26:41,550
放下放下的游戏

1219
01:26:58,960 --> 01:27:01,170
真好 楼下正在拜地基主

1220
01:27:23,170 --> 01:27:26,170
那个月老石孝纶跟他的搭档黄文姿

1221
01:27:26,250 --> 01:27:27,710
在人间滥用红线

1222
01:27:27,800 --> 01:27:30,800
伤害生者某某汤 阴茎一案

1223
01:27:30,880 --> 01:27:33,210
生者洪菁晴未经许可使用阴阳眼一案

1224
01:27:33,300 --> 01:27:35,880
月老黄文姿乱七八糟
盗用织女原始红线

1225
01:27:35,960 --> 01:27:37,590
都什么年代还有人觉得阴阳眼

1226
01:27:37,670 --> 01:27:39,250
是一种禁忌 是种违规

1227
01:27:39,340 --> 01:27:41,800
但不是 它其实是一种疾病

1228
01:27:41,880 --> 01:27:44,250
那她既然有了疾病
我们就要想办法治疗她

1229
01:27:44,340 --> 01:27:47,460
人鬼恋没有什么大不了的 重点是

1230
01:27:47,550 --> 01:27:48,960
-爱情的本质
-石孝纶与生者洪菁晴

1231
01:27:49,050 --> 01:27:51,250
逾越人鬼界线 真是烂透了

1232
01:27:51,630 --> 01:27:52,710
烂透了

1233
01:27:53,090 --> 01:27:54,670
判 褫夺神职

1234
01:28:18,500 --> 01:28:19,550
喵三小啦？

1235
01:28:30,880 --> 01:28:31,920
Pinky

1236
01:28:32,420 --> 01:28:33,710
对不起啦

1237
01:28:34,090 --> 01:28:35,500
我跟小咪谈恋爱

1238
01:28:36,800 --> 01:28:37,920
把你连累进来

1239
01:28:43,840 --> 01:28:44,960
我好像

1240
01:28:46,710 --> 01:28:47,920
有点太凶

1241
01:28:49,880 --> 01:28:51,000
对不起啦

1242
01:28:51,460 --> 01:28:52,750
倒霉死了

1243
01:29:03,670 --> 01:29:04,920
我就真的很讨厌

1244
01:29:05,630 --> 01:29:07,800
什么很 是超讨厌

1245
01:29:08,500 --> 01:29:10,090
我明明就那么可爱

1246
01:29:10,880 --> 01:29:12,500
活着的时候都已经够衰了

1247
01:29:13,130 --> 01:29:15,210
死了以后还要那么倒霉喜欢你

1248
01:29:23,380 --> 01:29:24,210
好啦

1249
01:29:24,880 --> 01:29:26,090
其实我觉得我…

1250
01:29:26,170 --> 01:29:27,250
不用

1251
01:29:29,340 --> 01:29:30,210
不用什么？

1252
01:29:30,300 --> 01:29:31,340
就不用啊

1253
01:29:34,170 --> 01:29:36,130
不用是怎样啦？

1254
01:29:36,210 --> 01:29:38,920
是我去跟他们说你们在搞人鬼恋的

1255
01:29:39,000 --> 01:29:40,090
可是我昨天

1256
01:29:40,170 --> 01:29:41,500
真的太生气…

1257
01:29:41,590 --> 01:29:43,090
太伤心 太伤心了

1258
01:29:45,090 --> 01:29:47,340
对不起…

1259
01:29:50,000 --> 01:29:51,050
我就说不用啊

1260
01:29:53,590 --> 01:29:54,920
要不是你偷偷打我的小报告

1261
01:29:55,550 --> 01:29:56,840
牛头马面刚好来抓我

1262
01:29:57,380 --> 01:29:58,750
小咪可能真的就…

1263
01:29:58,840 --> 01:30:00,500
就被那个烂鬼干掉

1264
01:30:00,800 --> 01:30:01,880
你根本打小报告达人

1265
01:30:01,960 --> 01:30:03,050
谢谢…

1266
01:30:13,420 --> 01:30:14,380
不客气…

1267
01:30:40,670 --> 01:30:42,460
像我这种恶人

1268
01:30:44,340 --> 01:30:47,300
也可以担任这份重任吗？

1269
01:30:49,000 --> 01:30:50,750
像我这个恶人

1270
01:30:52,340 --> 01:30:54,500
可以吗？

1271
01:31:02,300 --> 01:31:03,880
为您插播一则社会新闻

1272
01:31:04,420 --> 01:31:05,840
昨天发生的凶杀案

1273
01:31:05,920 --> 01:31:09,420
警方证实凶嫌
是在一个多月前于胜利水果行

1274
01:31:09,500 --> 01:31:11,800
犯下鱼贩王氏杀人案的疑凶

1275
01:31:11,880 --> 01:31:14,420
两案有相当多的疑点尚待厘清

1276
01:31:14,500 --> 01:31:16,460
而凶嫌确切的死亡原因

1277
01:31:16,550 --> 01:31:17,880
经法医解剖后

1278
01:31:17,960 --> 01:31:19,920
也将在明天中午出炉

1279
01:31:20,300 --> 01:31:23,000
接下来为您持续关心国际焦点…

1280
01:31:29,170 --> 01:31:30,550
石孝纶…

1281
01:31:33,420 --> 01:31:35,090
你不是很喜欢闹我吗？

1282
01:32:06,550 --> 01:32:07,420
跟我告白

1283
01:32:09,960 --> 01:32:11,050
你跟我告白

1284
01:32:11,380 --> 01:32:12,300
我再拒绝你

1285
01:32:12,920 --> 01:32:14,090
这样我就不跟你计较

1286
01:32:16,300 --> 01:32:17,460
干嘛那么麻烦？

1287
01:32:18,800 --> 01:32:20,300
我当没听到就好了嘛

1288
01:32:20,750 --> 01:32:22,210
这样很贱

1289
01:32:34,920 --> 01:32:35,750
阿鲁

1290
01:32:36,500 --> 01:32:37,340
阿鲁

1291
01:32:38,670 --> 01:32:39,840
阿鲁

1292
01:32:40,880 --> 01:32:42,460
你是不是要下班了？

1293
01:32:43,380 --> 01:32:44,420
不等哥哥来

1294
01:32:44,500 --> 01:32:46,340
哥哥还没跟你说再见耶

1295
01:32:51,250 --> 01:32:53,210
谢谢你一直陪着我

1296
01:32:54,630 --> 01:32:55,710
陪着我们

1297
01:32:57,500 --> 01:33:01,420
我过的每一天都好开心…

1298
01:33:03,210 --> 01:33:04,550
不要害怕喔

1299
01:33:05,090 --> 01:33:07,960
哥哥说下面的世界很多很好玩的东西

1300
01:33:08,050 --> 01:33:09,840
你一定会玩得很开心的

1301
01:33:11,340 --> 01:33:13,630
一到那边就先去找哥哥

1302
01:33:13,710 --> 01:33:15,670
哥哥一定会好好照顾你

1303
01:33:17,710 --> 01:33:19,920
姐姐我一定会好好的照顾自己

1304
01:33:20,590 --> 01:33:21,920
不要让你担心

1305
01:33:22,750 --> 01:33:24,090
没事的…

1306
01:34:51,590 --> 01:34:52,750
我晓得

1307
01:34:53,420 --> 01:34:55,210
是你起的头

1308
01:35:35,920 --> 01:35:36,880
黑漆漆

1309
01:35:37,590 --> 01:35:40,050
黑漆漆 你等我一下啦

1310
01:35:47,300 --> 01:35:50,300
我一直当你是我亲妹妹

1311
01:35:52,420 --> 01:35:53,960
你要我的头

1312
01:35:54,050 --> 01:35:56,210
跟我说一下就够了

1313
01:35:59,920 --> 01:36:01,210
你忘了？

1314
01:36:04,250 --> 01:36:06,590
你当然什么都忘了

1315
01:36:08,170 --> 01:36:12,300
你在我面前喝过十几次孟婆汤

1316
01:36:16,590 --> 01:36:19,630
你忘得很痛快

1317
01:37:09,550 --> 01:37:11,000
阿鲁 阿鲁你怎么会死掉？

1318
01:37:11,090 --> 01:37:12,380
你怎么会死掉？小咪知道吗？

1319
01:37:12,460 --> 01:37:13,460
小咪知道你死掉吗？

1320
01:37:13,550 --> 01:37:14,960
你怎么会过来找我？

1321
01:37:15,050 --> 01:37:16,250
这么多洞你也找得到我

1322
01:37:16,340 --> 01:37:17,300
你怎么那么强？

1323
01:37:17,380 --> 01:37:19,050
太强 死掉还这么强？

1324
01:37:19,130 --> 01:37:19,960
你怎么找得到我的？

1325
01:37:20,050 --> 01:37:20,880
你还记得我吗？

1326
01:37:20,960 --> 01:37:21,880
阿鲁 我是那个…

1327
01:37:21,960 --> 01:37:23,250
漂亮姐姐啊

1328
01:37:31,630 --> 01:37:32,960
小咪有危险

1329
01:38:00,800 --> 01:38:01,920
碟仙…

1330
01:38:02,090 --> 01:38:04,420
请问你是怎么死的？

1331
01:38:04,800 --> 01:38:05,960
这个不能问

1332
01:38:06,460 --> 01:38:08,960
-被雷打死
-被雷打死

1333
01:39:09,210 --> 01:39:10,420
干脆

1334
01:39:10,880 --> 01:39:12,710
还我一颗头

1335
01:39:19,300 --> 01:39:21,630
忽风又忽雨

1336
01:39:22,920 --> 01:39:24,300
这种怨气啊

1337
01:39:25,000 --> 01:39:27,090
不太妙喔

1338
01:39:27,710 --> 01:39:30,420
妙…

1339
01:39:30,960 --> 01:39:32,880
执迷不悟

1340
01:39:36,670 --> 01:39:40,170
你多久没有看过自己的表情？

1341
01:39:40,840 --> 01:39:42,550
我被落井后

1342
01:39:42,630 --> 01:39:44,920
换你当了牛头多久？

1343
01:39:45,500 --> 01:39:47,630
你杀了多少鬼？

1344
01:39:49,210 --> 01:39:50,340
一千？

1345
01:39:50,420 --> 01:39:51,670
一万？

1346
01:39:51,750 --> 01:39:55,550
在阴间可有一个鬼正眼看过你？

1347
01:39:57,420 --> 01:39:59,630
我当了牛头五百年

1348
01:40:00,960 --> 01:40:03,000
等你受够了那种眼神

1349
01:40:03,630 --> 01:40:05,170
你也会和我一样

1350
01:40:06,170 --> 01:40:07,750
不要被影响

1351
01:40:18,340 --> 01:40:20,300
阴阳有界

1352
01:40:26,630 --> 01:40:29,380
来来去去还是这招

1353
01:40:29,460 --> 01:40:31,630
在这里打不行吗？

1354
01:40:31,710 --> 01:40:32,590
小咪

1355
01:40:51,710 --> 01:40:54,000
你到底跑去哪里？

1356
01:40:57,170 --> 01:40:58,420
阿鲁它…

1357
01:40:59,590 --> 01:41:00,800
我知道

1358
01:41:01,630 --> 01:41:03,050
我都知道

1359
01:41:03,920 --> 01:41:05,050
阿鲁来找我

1360
01:41:05,130 --> 01:41:06,840
它叫我一定要来救你

1361
01:41:07,420 --> 01:41:08,500
黑漆漆

1362
01:41:09,210 --> 01:41:10,460
月老第二定律

1363
01:41:11,710 --> 01:41:13,210
缘分力量会保护你

1364
01:41:16,380 --> 01:41:18,170
不要怕 缘分力量会保护你

1365
01:41:24,420 --> 01:41:25,840
对不起

1366
01:41:26,710 --> 01:41:28,250
我们没有念珠

1367
01:41:33,340 --> 01:41:34,920
我死了

1368
01:41:36,500 --> 01:41:38,630
我们不就可以在一起了吗？

1369
01:41:42,170 --> 01:41:43,550
死了我们就在一起

1370
01:41:45,000 --> 01:41:46,920
我们可以一起当月老

1371
01:42:11,800 --> 01:42:13,170
忏悔

1372
01:42:13,300 --> 01:42:14,340
放下

1373
01:42:14,420 --> 01:42:15,750
轮回

1374
01:42:15,840 --> 01:42:18,920
通通都是阎罗王拿来骗鬼的

1375
01:42:21,880 --> 01:42:23,630
对不起

1376
01:42:25,960 --> 01:42:27,630
对不起

1377
01:42:30,090 --> 01:42:32,840
彼岸就在眼前

1378
01:42:36,050 --> 01:42:38,300
没有彼岸

1379
01:43:07,420 --> 01:43:08,550
五百年

1380
01:43:09,340 --> 01:43:11,630
彼岸明明就在那里

1381
01:43:11,710 --> 01:43:14,800
却总是看得到 到不了

1382
01:43:15,800 --> 01:43:20,840
人间、阴间 都找不到平静

1383
01:43:20,920 --> 01:43:22,250
轮回

1384
01:43:22,630 --> 01:43:24,670
只是不断受苦

1385
01:43:25,460 --> 01:43:28,340
根本就没有彼岸

1386
01:43:28,420 --> 01:43:30,960
没有彼岸

1387
01:43:39,210 --> 01:43:42,590
不能让他在人间入魔

1388
01:43:52,880 --> 01:43:54,420
对不起

1389
01:43:54,500 --> 01:43:56,000
没机会投胎啦

1390
01:43:56,090 --> 01:43:57,380
投胎？

1391
01:43:57,460 --> 01:43:58,800
想都没想过

1392
01:44:34,920 --> 01:44:36,130
为什么？

1393
01:44:36,710 --> 01:44:38,380
为什么？

1394
01:44:39,550 --> 01:44:42,880
为什么…

1395
01:45:23,250 --> 01:45:26,340
我当过仙人掌、鱼

1396
01:45:26,420 --> 01:45:27,710
还有蝉？

1397
01:45:46,880 --> 01:45:49,210
谢谢…

1398
01:45:49,300 --> 01:45:51,460
那七天 我很快乐

1399
01:45:52,300 --> 01:45:53,840
谢谢…

1400
01:45:53,920 --> 01:45:55,920
那七天 我很快乐

1401
01:45:56,000 --> 01:45:56,880
谢谢

1402
01:45:56,960 --> 01:45:58,750
那七天 我很快乐

1403
01:46:40,880 --> 01:46:42,090
同行啊

1404
01:46:42,880 --> 01:46:44,250
对不起

1405
01:46:44,800 --> 01:46:47,840
这个知了在土里窝了十几年

1406
01:46:47,920 --> 01:46:50,130
只剩短短的七天

1407
01:46:50,710 --> 01:46:52,460
看在我的面子上

1408
01:46:53,340 --> 01:46:54,880
你们去抢别人

1409
01:47:16,960 --> 01:47:18,750
今天不杀了

1410
01:47:21,920 --> 01:47:22,920
喝酒

1411
01:47:26,130 --> 01:47:27,670
谢谢…

1412
01:47:27,750 --> 01:47:29,420
那七天 我很快乐

1413
01:47:29,500 --> 01:47:32,130
谢谢…

1414
01:47:32,210 --> 01:47:34,130
那七天 我很快乐

1415
01:47:34,210 --> 01:47:35,090
谢谢

1416
01:47:35,170 --> 01:47:37,000
那七天 我很快乐

1417
01:47:37,090 --> 01:47:38,960
谢谢…

1418
01:48:05,750 --> 01:48:07,920
那七天 我很快乐

1419
01:48:08,000 --> 01:48:09,800
谢谢…

1420
01:48:09,880 --> 01:48:12,210
那七天 我很快乐

1421
01:48:12,300 --> 01:48:13,170
谢谢

1422
01:48:13,250 --> 01:48:15,130
那七天 我很快乐

1423
01:48:15,210 --> 01:48:16,960
谢谢…

1424
01:48:17,050 --> 01:48:18,420
我很快乐

1425
01:48:19,630 --> 01:48:21,590
举手之劳

1426
01:48:23,880 --> 01:48:26,090
举手之劳

1427
01:48:27,670 --> 01:48:29,420
举手之劳

1428
01:48:38,750 --> 01:48:41,170
如有来生

1429
01:48:41,960 --> 01:48:43,670
再无来生

1430
01:49:40,460 --> 01:49:42,170
在一起

1431
01:49:44,380 --> 01:49:46,090
在一起

1432
01:49:47,460 --> 01:49:51,420
在一起？

1433
01:50:50,880 --> 01:50:52,630
你说好 就算只有一秒

1434
01:50:52,710 --> 01:50:55,050
我也是全世界最开心的人

1435
01:50:55,550 --> 01:50:56,960
一秒又不够

1436
01:50:59,000 --> 01:50:59,880
一秒

1437
01:51:01,130 --> 01:51:02,000
就够了

1438
01:51:18,550 --> 01:51:20,130
你等我一下

1439
01:52:09,300 --> 01:52:11,670
拜托你再等我一下 你不要不见

1440
01:52:11,750 --> 01:52:12,960
你不要不见

1441
01:52:15,420 --> 01:52:16,590
小咪

1442
01:52:18,210 --> 01:52:19,840
活着的时候…

1443
01:52:19,920 --> 01:52:20,920
石孝纶

1444
01:52:21,340 --> 01:52:23,170
你成绩那么烂 转来开诚干嘛？

1445
01:52:23,250 --> 01:52:24,500
我们很快乐

1446
01:52:24,590 --> 01:52:25,460
我警告你…

1447
01:52:29,050 --> 01:52:29,880
你干嘛？

1448
01:52:29,960 --> 01:52:31,380
神经病啊 去死啦你

1449
01:52:32,340 --> 01:52:33,210
推你个头

1450
01:52:33,340 --> 01:52:34,920
我很感激

1451
01:52:35,420 --> 01:52:36,920
死了以后

1452
01:52:38,840 --> 01:52:40,750
还能与你相遇

1453
01:52:57,130 --> 01:52:58,590
我还…

1454
01:53:00,090 --> 01:53:02,250
我还欠你一秒

1455
01:53:02,630 --> 01:53:03,670
有些事

1456
01:53:05,210 --> 01:53:06,630
一万年也不会变

1457
01:53:10,300 --> 01:53:11,250
一万年

1458
01:53:11,710 --> 01:53:12,920
给我

1459
01:53:13,710 --> 01:53:14,800
不给你

1460
01:53:29,340 --> 01:53:32,050
急着投胎 就不要当蜗牛嘛

1461
01:53:32,130 --> 01:53:33,130
快到 快到了

1462
01:53:33,630 --> 01:53:35,050
你先让它趴着啦

1463
01:53:35,550 --> 01:53:37,250
趴着肺部才会扩张

1464
01:53:37,340 --> 01:53:38,840
好 我马上到

1465
01:54:10,210 --> 01:54:14,460
下辈子没月老
帮我们牵红线 怎么办？

1466
01:54:15,130 --> 01:54:16,590
我想起来

1467
01:54:17,880 --> 01:54:19,380
我想起来

1468
01:54:21,420 --> 01:54:22,800
我会找到你

1469
01:54:28,920 --> 01:54:30,420
你60岁的时候没人要

1470
01:54:31,250 --> 01:54:32,500
我们就结婚嘛

1471
01:54:32,590 --> 01:54:35,000
我从小学五年级就天天拜托她嫁给我

1472
01:54:35,090 --> 01:54:36,460
命中注定

1473
01:54:36,750 --> 01:54:37,920
有些事

1474
01:54:38,250 --> 01:54:39,800
一万年也不会变

1475
01:54:40,340 --> 01:54:41,300
小咪

1476
01:54:44,550 --> 01:54:46,670
我好像爱上你了

1477
01:54:46,750 --> 01:54:48,300
求求你嫁给我

1478
01:54:49,380 --> 01:54:50,300
好啊

1479
01:54:54,340 --> 01:54:55,630
找到你了

1480
01:56:23,090 --> 01:56:24,380
好啊

1481
01:56:36,090 --> 01:56:38,630
小心

1482
01:56:49,670 --> 01:56:55,170
小白点 大便

1483
01:56:55,670 --> 01:56:58,960
一颗白珠 仙人掌

1484
01:56:59,050 --> 01:57:02,750
二颗白珠 蝉

1485
01:57:02,840 --> 01:57:07,670
三颗白珠 蚬仔

1486
01:57:07,750 --> 01:57:12,090
四颗白珠 灯塔水母

1487
01:57:12,170 --> 01:57:17,130
五颗白珠 蜗牛

1488
01:57:17,210 --> 01:57:22,130
六颗白珠 蟑螂

1489
01:57:22,210 --> 01:57:26,000
七颗白珠 变色龙

1490
01:57:26,090 --> 01:57:30,210
八颗白珠 龙虾

1491
01:57:30,300 --> 01:57:35,210
九颗白珠 蝙蝠

1492
01:57:35,300 --> 01:57:41,420
十颗白珠 蟒蛇

1493
01:57:41,500 --> 01:57:45,500
11颗白珠 鸽子

1494
01:57:45,590 --> 01:57:50,590
12颗白珠 猪

1495
01:57:50,670 --> 01:57:54,750
13颗白珠 海龟

1496
01:57:54,840 --> 01:57:59,670
14颗白珠 企鹅

1497
01:57:59,750 --> 01:58:04,670
15颗白珠 台湾黑熊

1498
01:58:04,750 --> 01:58:08,840
16颗白珠 草泥马

1499
01:58:08,920 --> 01:58:13,050
17颗白珠 海豚

1500
01:58:13,130 --> 01:58:17,250
18颗白珠 猴

1501
01:58:17,340 --> 01:58:22,000
19颗白珠 狗

1502
01:58:22,090 --> 01:58:26,590
20颗白珠 人

1503
01:58:26,670 --> 01:58:30,960
20颗白珠加1 猫

1504
01:58:31,050 --> 01:58:36,050
投胎阴德兑换表

1505
01:58:37,590 --> 01:58:38,880
确定吗？

1506
01:58:38,960 --> 01:58:40,670
没听过这种事

1507
01:58:40,750 --> 01:58:42,710
确定 而且你们看

1508
01:58:43,340 --> 01:58:44,800
我胎记都申请了

1509
01:58:44,880 --> 01:58:46,920
到底是听谁讲的啦？

1510
01:58:47,000 --> 01:58:48,840
要玩这么大就对了

1511
01:58:49,500 --> 01:58:51,550
不管啦 反正你们只要一认出我

1512
01:58:51,630 --> 01:58:53,500
就要立刻把我跟黑漆漆绑在一起

1513
01:58:53,590 --> 01:58:54,880
要立刻 要马上喔

1514
01:58:57,340 --> 01:59:00,960
拜拜…

1515
01:59:16,460 --> 01:59:17,630
一、二、三

1516
01:59:21,000 --> 01:59:21,880
好

1517
01:59:22,170 --> 01:59:23,210
这里有点裂痕

1518
01:59:23,300 --> 01:59:24,750
是不是太阳晒太多？

1519
01:59:24,840 --> 01:59:26,800
这龟壳看起来还好

1520
01:59:27,420 --> 01:59:28,550
看一下

1521
01:59:29,670 --> 01:59:30,840
问题是龟头

1522
01:59:31,630 --> 01:59:32,800
这边有点感染

1523
01:59:34,130 --> 01:59:35,090
你看

1524
01:59:35,170 --> 01:59:37,500
对了 你是不是又改我机票？

1525
01:59:37,590 --> 01:59:39,880
照这样子 我一辈子都看不到极光

1526
01:59:39,960 --> 01:59:41,210
你知道极光

1527
01:59:41,300 --> 01:59:44,500
是当从太阳表面吹送出来的太阳风

1528
01:59:44,590 --> 01:59:45,750
到达地球时

1529
01:59:45,840 --> 01:59:47,670
太阳风中的高能量带电粒子

1530
01:59:47,750 --> 01:59:49,630
会随着地磁的磁力线方向

1531
01:59:49,710 --> 01:59:51,170
往两极的方向移动

1532
01:59:51,250 --> 01:59:52,880
你在看三小？

1533
01:59:53,420 --> 01:59:55,000
你的蜗牛好丑

1534
01:59:55,090 --> 01:59:56,460
没你的丑啦

1535
01:59:57,500 --> 02:00:00,420
你更丑 你比蜗牛还要丑

1536
02:00:00,500 --> 02:00:02,250
你好丑 你的鸡好丑

1537
02:00:02,340 --> 02:00:04,000
你全家都好丑

1538
02:00:05,090 --> 02:00:06,670
老师说自己丑的人

1539
02:00:06,750 --> 02:00:08,090
才会说别人丑

1540
02:00:09,800 --> 02:00:11,090
拜托

1541
02:00:11,170 --> 02:00:12,880
你先说我丑的好不好

1542
02:00:13,170 --> 02:00:16,750
而且我去买早餐店的老板娘都会叫我

1543
02:00:16,840 --> 02:00:19,750
小帅哥

1544
02:00:20,300 --> 02:00:22,590
你不但丑 还很笨

1545
02:00:23,550 --> 02:00:24,800
我的帅