[ Flames burst, crackle ]
♪♪
[ Keys clacking ]
Case?
Sir Simon de Canterville.
When can I speak with my client?
There's no time. The case is about to start.
But I haven't talked to my client.
Robing rooms are through there.
- [ Clacking ] - [ Ringing ]
[ Clock clangs ]
[ Indistinct conversations ]
♪♪
Who is that?
Counsel for the prosecution.
They call him "The Great Orator" because he never loses a case.
I'd wish you luck, but would be wasting my breath.
Metaphorically speaking.
Where were you at the bar?
I'm not.
I haven't graduated yet.
[ Scoffs ]
In that case, I wish you a miracle.
Court usher: All rise.
All rise for the Right Honourable Angel of Death.
♪♪
Your Honour...
You will address me as "My Lord."
My Lord, I would like to ask for an adjournment.
- [ Spectators murmuring ] - Counsels, approach the bench.
♪♪
I've not had an opportunity to review the evidence files.
Defence counsel is extant, My Lord.
This is most unorthodox.
There are prophecy conditions in place, My Lord.
♪♪
All the evidence will be duly presented in court.
And given the case has already
taken half a millennium to get to trial,
I myself would like to get out of here
in time for a decent lunch.
- [ Crowd murmuring ] - Man ♪1: Hear, hear.
Man ♪2: Indeed.
♪♪
[ Indistinct conversations ]
Clerk: Bring in the defendant.
- [ Chains clanking ] - [ Footsteps approaching ]
♪♪
Simon de Canterville,
you are charged with entrapment to marriage,
theft, and wilfully causing the death of your wife and child.
How do you plead?
[ Chains clanking ]
♪♪
For mercy.
[ Indistinct whispering ]
♪♪
[ Clock clangs ]
[ Drums playing ]
♪ I thought love was only true in fairy tales ♪
Theo is on to something.
How about that? Chip off the old block.
Mrs. Otis, have you seen Ginny?
No, not since the twins' performance.
If you see her, will you tell her...
Tell her I'm looking for her.
Sure.
♪♪
Something's happened between Cecil and Ginny.
9.89 mils of adhesive --
Go. You know you want to.
Before Mrs. Umney catches you writing on her best damask.
I love you.
I won't be long.
Man: ♪ I thought love was only true in fairy tales ♪
♪ Meant for someone else but not for me ♪
Would you like to dance?
Yeah.
Man: ♪ But all you get is pain
Oh. Off already, Lady Deborah?
I hope you enjoyed your evening.
It's everything I hoped for.
Man: ♪ Now I'm a believer
[ Clock clangs ]
The prosecution calls Peter Lovell.
[ Birds chirping ]
♪♪
For the record, please state your occupation in 1575.
Architect and master builder.
And father to sons Murgo and Dickon
and a daughter, Ethelinda.
For the record, Mr. Lovell's sons
are currently serving a 1,000-year sentence
in the garden of unrest for the murder of the defendant.
In 1570, you are engaged by Lord Henry Canterville
for the design and construction of the Great Wing.
Yes.
How did you feel when you discovered
your daughter's romance with your employer's son and heir?
What do you think?
Romani and Gorgers have no union with one another.
Despite your objections, you allowed the couple
to be hand-fasted,
a form of marriage in which the hands are tied together,
denoting the binding of two lives.
It sounds highly impractical.
I believe the ties are removed after the ceremony, My Lord.
Crucially, the marriage was morganatic
and unrecognised in English law.
English laws are not recognised by us.
The witness will confine himself to answering the questions.
And yet the defendant broke his vow.
Defaulted from the contract and married another,
this time a marriage recognised in English law,
and in doing so, denied the existence
of his union with Ethelinda Lovell.
And what were the repercussions of this perfidy?
Peter: She was dishonoured.
Marimé, which incurs the ultimate sanction --
expulsion from the community.
There is no greater punishment.
Other than death, perhaps.
[ Spectators murmuring ]
♪♪
No further questions.
♪♪
Mr. Lovell. [ Clears throat ]
♪♪
Mr. Lovell, the Romani frown upon alliances with non-Romani,
and yet you allowed such a union to take place?
I bowed to the inevitable.
They were air and fire.
There was no keeping them apart.
♪♪
Thank you, Mr. Lovell.
No further questions.
[ Spectators snickering ]
♪♪
[ Clock clangs ]
Theo: MCL.
What if they aren't letters, but numbers like Roman numerals?
Then we're looking for someone who died in 1150.
♪♪
Patience: Here!
Isabelle de Canterville, 1104 to 1150.
[ Gasps ]
♪♪
A butterfly wing in a ring.
Charity: The Jack of diamonds.
Frank: Okay.
The Jack of diamonds,
the 6 of clubs, and the 2 of diamonds.
- Nope, still not computing. - [ Gasps ]
Every playing card has a meaning.
The Jack of diamonds is,
"A butterfly wing set in a ring.
This you good luck should bring."
[ Clicks ]
[ Rattles ]
♪♪
- [ All exclaiming ] - [ Thud ]
♪♪
Patience: Okay, I'm gonna come down after you.
♪♪
The prosecution calls Lord Henry Canterville.
- [ Birds chirping ] - [ Gasps ]
[ Spectators murmuring ]
♪♪
Can you describe to the court
what the defendant was like growing up?
Objection. My client's childhood behaviour
has no bearing on this case.
Denied.
[ Whooshing ]
Lord Canterville: He was the youngest of twin sons,
the runt of the litter, a fractious and sickly child,
whereas his brother was
everything one could wish for in a son,
fair of face and disposition,
athletic and a scholar.
When they were both afflicted with ague,
we expected the weakest to die,
but the superior son was taken.
Broke his parents' hearts.
A disappointment then.
Lord Canterville: Grievously so,
foppish and a dreamer,
prone to irrational outbursts of sentiment.
We always expected he would come to nothing.
Fears, members of the jury, which became founded.
What did you do when you discovered your son had formed
an alliance with Ethelinda Lovell?
We forbade it and found him a suitable match.
This would be Lady Eleanor Featherstonehaugh,
daughter of the third Earl of Featherstonehaugh,
and one of the most desirable matches in the land.
And your son agreed to this match?
Ah, that or be the ruination of the family name.
Thank you, My Lord. No further questions.
[ Inhales ] Lord Henry, did you love your son?
[ Gasps ]
♪♪
Am I expected to answer that?
If you can indulge my learned friend on this occasion.
♪♪
I did my duty.
He was fed and clothed and given the finest education
and found a suitable wife.
A woman he didn't love.
Of what relevance is this?
My Lord, I'm afraid I must intervene.
[ Chuckling ] This isn't a colloquy
on the nature of romantic attachment.
[ Spectators laughing ]
♪♪
[ Chains rattle ]
♪♪
No further questions.
♪♪
[ Clock clangs ]
Evidence of the fateful events
will be presented on historical monitor
so the jury can form their own conclusions
as to the black-hearted nature of the defendant.
♪♪
[ Fingers snap ]
[ Projector whirring ]
[ Birds chirping ]
Prosecutor: Ethelinda Lovell took refuge in the woods,
living off the land for survival.
But as winter came,
such a way of survival became untenable.
[ Fingers snap ]
I draw your attention to the fact that this was the coldest
recorded winter in 200 years.
[ Fingers snap ]
[ Wind whooshing ]
Shunned by her people and out of options,
the desperate woman made her way through a freezing blizzard
to seek shelter from the only one who could help her.
Admit her!
- Lord Canterville: Any man who does shall earn a whipping!
She has the nerve to show her face!
She will perish
along with my son!
He's a Canterville!
It is a by blow.
You have the effrontery to speak of it
when your wife stands here
with a true heir of Canterville in her belly.
- Lord Canterville: Guards! - Lady Canterville: No!
It must come from him
so this is finished, once and for all.
[ Sighs ]
Speak.
Or go down in history as a disgrace
to the house of Canterville.
♪♪
[ Sighs ]
[ Exhales ]
[ Breathing heavily ]
♪♪
[ Sighs ]
Close the gates.
No!
[ Crying hysterically ] No!
♪♪
[ Ethelinda sobbing ]
♪♪
[ Sobbing continues ]
♪♪
[ Groaning ]
♪♪
Prosecutor: On the 4th of December, 1575,
Ethelinda Lovell froze to death.
[ Wind whooshing ]
♪♪
[ Fingers snap ]
And there we have it, members of the jury.
Here rests the case for the prosecution.
The Angel of Death: Excellent.
Time for a cup of tea
and maybe a slice of walnut cake.
All rise.
[ Spectators murmuring ]
I need to consult with my client.
♪♪
- [ Door closes ] - [ Lock clicks ]
An apology is not necessary.
I should'st ne're have entrusted such a task
to one so unlustrous.
Well [sighs]...
uh, we have a saying.
"It ain't all over till the fat lady sings."
♪♪
Whence is this portly chanteuse of whom thou speakest?
It means...
Never mind.
It means I haven't presented the case for the defence.
The jury need to hear your side of the story.
- And I think I may have -- - Never!
I will't not be witness.
- But you must. - I...
parade my innermost self
before that pathetic pall of panjandrums.
I...
And I'm not e'en rehearsed.
I saw your pain when you spoke of Ethelinda.
You are not the man painted by the prosecution.
The jury need to see you as I do.
You need to tell me everything.
♪♪
[ Clock clangs ]
Theo: Whoa, let's look around.
[ Exhales ]
[ Sighs ]
Keep your eyes peeled for a priest hole.
Hey, uh, what does the next symbol mean?
Um...
"Six of clubs will bring you hope.
Make three knots in a piece of rope."
Look.
♪♪
- 9, 10. - Theo: What are you doing?
Working out where the ghost got in.
11, 12...
13, 14...
15.
The Tapestry room is right up there, so...
Frank: Okay, headlamps off.
- Ultraviolet lamps on. - [ Button clicks ]
♪♪
[ Gasps ] Hey. Got him!
Uh, this is solid stone.
Theo: He can't go through solid stone.
There must be something behind here.
♪♪
Virginia: The defence calls Jeremiah Otis to the stand.
Please state your name and occupation in 1575.
Jeremiah Otis. [ Clears throat ]
Poacher.
Father to nine children,
the youngest of whom was Simeon Otis,
1575 to 1643?
Yeah.
On the 4th of December, 1575,
you were fined one shilling
for poaching at Canterville assize court.
Objection. My Lord, the witness
has already answered for his earthly transgressions.
I will rephrase.
Mr. Otis, after leaving the assize court,
can you describe your route home?
That would be through the woods.
This is a map of the area in 1575.
[ Spectators murmur ]
- [ Fingers snap ] - [ Projector whirring ]
This route would have taken Mr. Otis past the spot
where Ethelinda Lovell was found dead.
[ Spectators gasp ]
Mr. Otis, eight of your nine children
are recorded in the parish birth records,
the exception being the youngest, Simeon.
I put it to you this is because he wasn't your biological son.
- Your natural son. - [ Spectators murmuring ]
That he is, in fact,
the son of Sir Simon de Canterville
and Ethelinda Lovell.
[ Spectators gasp and murmur ]
The Angel of Death: Order, order!
[ Murmuring stops ]
Mr. Otis?
[ Chains rattle ]
[ Fingers snap ]
Jeremiah: Poor lamb was near death
when I found her.
Her last words were...
My baby.
His name is...
Simon.
[ Baby crying ]
♪♪
Jeremiah: Scrap was blue with cold and half dead.
So I took him home to the wife.
Fearsomely fond of the bairn, she was.
Only...we changed his name to Simeon.
It means "God has heard."
Our little miracle, he were.
♪♪
Members of the jury, Simeon Otis grew to adulthood
and, in 1620, emigrated to the New World,
where he founded a dynasty who survive to this day.
♪♪
I move that the charge of infanticide be dismissed.
[ Spectators gasp ]
Sustained.
♪♪
[ Murmuring, laughter ]
The Angel of Death: Order, order!
[ Murmuring and laughter stop ]
The defence calls Murgo and Dickon Lovell to the stand.
♪♪
[ Spectators murmuring ]
♪♪
You and your brother were on a team of builders
working at Canterville Chase
when your sister arrived to seek shelter.
[ Snaps fingers ]
- Close the gates. - No!
[ Ethelinda sobbing ]
♪♪
Murgo: We saw him send her to her death.
Virginia: And neglected to go to her aid?
Dickon: She was marimé.
It was forbidden.
[ Sobbing ]
- [ Grunts ] - Murgo: So we avenged her.
[ Spectators murmuring ]
By abducting and murdering the defendant.
Objection.
The witnesses are already serving sentences
for their crimes and are not on trial here.
Sustained.
According to your statements,
when you apprehended Sir Simon,
he was carrying a bag of jewels.
We didn't steal them.
Lovells aren't thieves.
We left them hidden
with his rotting bones
so no Canterville could ever find them.
Objection.
The witnesses are not the ones on trial here.
Withdrawn.
You abducted the defendant in the sunken garden.
Am I right in saying this is the most direct route
from the house to the stables?
Yes.
[ Spectators murmur ]
No further questions.
[ Yawns ]
[ Clock clangs ]
The defence calls Sir Simon de Canterville.
[ Spectators murmur ]
♪♪
The defence calls Sir Simon de Canterville.
♪♪
[ Chains rattle ]
♪♪
- [ Sighs ] - [ Chains rattle ]
♪♪
You reside at Canterville Chase, England,
where you are currently Ghost in Residence?
I am generally considered
the Premier Ghost in British Isles.
Ooh.
[ Light laughter ]
If I may bring you back to the events
on the 4th of December 1575,
specifically what happened
immediately after you gave the orders
to turn Ethelinda Lovell from the gates.
My father didst order all to their chambers
to prepareth for dinner.
'Twas not worthy to prepare for.
The cooks did ruin everything due to my wife's instructions.
She was a woman who didst truly know naught of cookery.
Virginia: I mean, immediately after you gave the order
to close the gates.
- [ Grunts ] - Did you regret the order?
Three words to my damnation.
Before they passed my lips.
You didn't go to your chamber as your father instructed?
- Huh. - You went to the treasury,
where you stole a number of family jewels?
I prefer "borrowest."
They wouldst have come to me upon my father's death.
What did you do after you "borrowed" the jewels?
I didst go to saddle a horse.
You were going after Ethelinda?
- Mm. - [ Fingers snap ]
Virginia: For the benefit of the jury,
can you explain your plan?
Sir Simon: To find her, sell the jewels,
and purchase a passage for us to the New World,
where we couldst maketh a life together.
- [ Grunts ] - [ Body thuds ]
So, it was your intention to atone?
'Twas not to go hunt boar in a blizzard.
- [ Light laughter ] - What were your thoughts
on realising your predicament?
♪♪
Sir Simon: That I deserved...no less.
♪♪
Help!
Help.
- [ Whimpers ] - [ Rat screeches ]
Help me!
[ Fingers snap ]
No further questions.
♪♪
[ Sniffs, slurps ]
[ Gulps, inhales ]
You say you lamented the deed
before the words left your lips.
[ Inhales sharply ]
Yet your attitude,
if you will forgive me,
hardly comes over as one of regret.
Indeed, if lament after the deed were a defence,
then His Lord and I would both be out of a job.
[ Spectators snickering ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Inhales ]
No further questions.
For the benefit of the jury,
the defendant is bound by the conditions of a curse.
Can you explain these conditions?
I canst not weep for my sins, for I have no tears,
nor pray for my soul, for I have no faith.
For the record, the defendant has been lamenting for his sins
for 446 years.
That is 162,790 days,
or three million nine hundred thousand and six,
nine hundred and sixty hours.
[ Spectators murmur ]
Has he not lamented enough?
Here rests the case for the defence.
♪♪
[ Spectators murmuring ]
[ Breathes deeply ]
[ Chains rattle ]
♪♪
The defendant claims he regretted his deed
after a lifetime of showing no regret.
No regret when he abandoned Ethelinda Lovell
for a woman of his own class.
No regret when she was banished from her community.
No regret when he cast her out
in a blizzard to her certain death.
No regret, members of the jury,
no regret...
until after the event, which, I don't need to remind you,
is not a defence,
thus rendering him
undeserving of this court's mercy.
♪♪
[ Chains rattle ]
You see before you a man guilty of many crimes,
oath breaking, moral cowardice, theft,
a man who, by his own admission, caused the death of his wife,
a man the prosecution claims showed no regret.
I show you a man who regretted that decision
as the words left his mouth,
prepared to defy his family
and outlaw himself to atone for his wrongs,
wrongs that condemned him to limbo,
denied divine justice, truly a fate worse than death.
♪♪
This is a court of mercy.
I direct you to the mercy
shown by Ethelinda Lovell to the defendant.
In her dying words, she named her son after his father,
certain proof she forgave him before she died.
If she can forgive, then so must you.
♪♪
[ Clock clangs ]
Good night, Mrs. Otis. Thank you for a lovely evening.
Hey, no, you're not going anywhere
until you tell me what happened.
It was all sorted.
I said I was calling off the wedding.
She told me she didn't wanna be with me.
No, she was lying.
You go and find her,
and this time, don't take no for an answer.
[ Jazz music playing, [ indistinct conversations ]
♪♪
[ Suspenseful music ]
[ Spectators murmur ]
Will the foreperson please rise.
[ Woman clears throat ]
On the charges, how do the jury find?
Mercy or no mercy?
[ Dramatic music rises ]
♪♪
Mercy.
- Woman: Yes. - [ Applause ]
Clerk: Order, please. The court is still sitting.
[ Gavel pounding ]
Order!
Simon de Canterville,
you have been deemed worthy of mercy by the jury.
Given mitigation and time served in limbo,
I sentence you...
to repose in the garden of rest.
[ Gasps ]
I thank thee. [ Gasping ]
- [ Spectators murmur ] - [ Gasps ]
[ Birds tweeting ]
♪♪
- [ Spectators exclaiming ] - [ Exclaims ]
It appears the curse remains in place
due to an outstanding prophecy condition.
My Lord, I believe the conditions of the prophecy
were all fulfilled.
Curses and prophecies
are not within this court's jurisdiction.
Therefore, I have no option other than to return
the prisoner to his earthly limbo
until the conditions are met.
[ Gavel pounds ]
[ Suspenseful music ]
[ Whirring ]
♪♪
Sir Simon?
♪♪
Sir Simon?
♪♪
Sir Simon.
♪♪
Frank: If there is a priest hole behind here,
then how does it open?
Eyes front and spread out. You go right, we'll go left.
- Now what? - Behind you.
Three knots and a piece of rope.
Help me.
Patience: Let me try.
- [ Patience grunts ] - [ Wall unlocking ]
[ Rattling ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Tense music ]
♪♪
Good to see you.
No luck?
I can't find her. [ Sighs ]
And no one else has seen her since the kids
bushwhacked the ghost.
Django: Patience!
Charity! Time to go home.
Where are the twins?
[ Mysterious music ]
I don't understand, haven't all the conditions
of the prophecy been fulfilled?
[ Scoffs ] I'm sorry I failed you.
[ Whooshes ]
Sir Simon?
Are you there?
If you can hear me,
please hurry back, I need your help.
[ Suspenseful music ]
♪♪
Theo: "Woe to the wicked.
It will go badly with him
for what he deserves will be done to him."
This is it. The priest hole's around here somewhere.
What are we looking for?
"A spider spinning on the wall
means he'll be great and strong and tall."
Plenty of real spiders for sure, but I don't see the mechanism.
There!
[ Squeaks ]
[ Wall creaks open ]
♪♪
[ Thuds ]
♪♪
[ All gasp ]
Virginia: Am I glad to see you.
- How did you find me? - Theo: Uh...
We were looking for the ghost.
How the heck did you get in here?
It's a long story.
Is that Sir Simon?
Yes.
Then where's the treasure?
Virginia: We don't need the treasure.
We need to get out of here. [ Inhales ]
[ Door creaking ]
Theo: No. No worries.
We'll get out the same way Ginny got in.
How did you get in?
Hiram: Boys?
Cecil: Ginny!
- Lucy: Ginny! - Hiram: Boys! Where are you?
[ All shouting indistinctly ]
Lucy: Children, where are you?
- Masilda: Girls? - Cecil: Ginny!
So Sir Simon's our great, great, great something grandfather?
And our great, great aunt
was your great, great grandmother.
Which makes us great, great...
- Fourteenth cousins once removed.
- Yeah. - That's just weird.
It's destiny.
Where's Sir Simon now?
I guess he's on his way back from the fourth dimension.
Nine hours, two sets of twins 13 and our daughter, 22.
Yeah, I realise she's an adult. But...
Even so, there's absolutely no reason for them all...
If they have found the priest hole,
it's been hidden for centuries.
What chance do we have?
[ Cesspitt squeaking ]
You look a bit worse for wear.
Sir Simon: So wouldst thou if
thou had been scattered
to the fourth dimension and back.
Come closer for I am weak.
Patience: What's he doing?
Talking.
That's Cesspitt. He's Sir Simon's familiar.
Patience: Hm.
[ Squeaking ]
[ Wind whooshing ]
♪♪
Lucy: They say someone will be on the way shortly.
They'll freeze to death before shortly.
They told me what they were up to.
Too darn caught up in my own problems as usual.
I should never have brought us here.
You weren't to know they'd be so clever, sir.
[ Screaming ]
Hiram: It's only a rat.
It's a filthy verminous rat. In my kitchen.
[ Grunts ] Go away!
Lucy: Stop! Stop, Mrs. Umney. Look at its eyes.
Oh, it's trying to tell us something.
Come out.
- We won't hurt you. - I wouldn't count on it.
[ Rattling ]
[ Squeaking ]
What do you want?
It wants us to follow.
[ Tense music ]
♪♪
Hiram: No, we've already searched in here.
Then we'll search it again.
Lucy: Hey, look, over here.
Where's he gone?
Django: Where'd he go? You think he's behind here?
- I don't know, he was there. - It's solid.
At least two feet of brick, I reckon.
Then where did the rat go?
Lucy: Kids?
Django: Hello?
- Stand back. - Lucy: Really!
[ Grunts ]
Django: Cecil.
[ Tense music continues ]
[ Both grunting ]
[ Grunting continues ]
[ Muffled grunt ]
♪♪
- [ Kids ] Help! - [ Cracking ]
Hiram: We're coming.
You're all there?
We're all fine, Mum.
We're not, we're freezing and starving.
Come on.
Hiram: There you go. Are you cold?
Django: Watch your feet. Here.
You guys, you've outdone yourself
this time, I tell you.
Lucy: Let's get you home.
Hot baths, then food.
Virginia: What are you doing here?
Cecil: You don't get rid of me that easily.
♪♪
Hiram: So you won the case, honey.
- That's incredible. - [ inhales ]
We won the case,
but Sir Simon's still here because the prophecy
isn't fulfilled.
I don't know why.
Promise me you'll never disappear like that again.
And my grandmother can do her worst.
I'm going to tell Moppy just as soon as...
Tell me what?
Cecil, I am warning you...
Yeh, babe.
You're a terrific girl.
Kind and beautiful.
Any bloke would be lucky to have you.
Except perhaps just...
- not me. - Oh.
[ Fire crackling ]
The last thing I meant was to hurt you.
So like...
the wedding's off?
[ Breathing heavily ]
Yeah, well, maybe it's for the best.
Right, uh...
Well, I'm glad you see it that way.
It is not for the best.
Cecil...
you will have nothing.
They will have each other.
Oh, please don't say money can't buy you happiness.
It can certainly make unhappiness
a whole lot more palatable.
And is that the voice of experience?
Because for all your wealth and status,
you don't strike me as happy.
And you're about to cast off the one thing
that could make you so, which is family.
We will discuss this later, Cecil.
Come, Moppy.
- [ Footsteps receding ] - Laters.
[ Footsteps receding ]
[ Breathing heavily ]
You say you can't make my dreams come true,
and you couldn't be more wrong.
Because from the moment I laid eyes on you,
I've dreamt of nothing else. [ Sighs ]
Marry me, Ginny.
[ Gentle music ]
And this time, I won't take no for an answer.
♪♪
I'm not getting up until you say yes.
Even if that means I'm glued to this spot
for the rest of my life.
Get up, you numpty. [ Chuckles ]
Is that...
British for "yes." [ Giggles ]
[ Chuckles ] Yes, I'll marry you.
Yes.
[ Chuckles ]
♪♪
Hiram: You know, I've always felt something about this place.
We're not Otises, we're Cantervilles.
We belong here.
Except now we have to leave.
We didn't even find the treasure.
I thought you wanted to go home.
If we're Cantervilles, then we are home.
Poor Sir Simon. I suppose we should call an undertaker
or maybe the police, 'cause this is technically a crime scene.
Hiram: Oh, what's happening to him?
Theo: His finger...
Is he pointing at something?
Hiram: What? Is there something there?
[ Uplifting music ]
♪♪
- Wow! - Whoa!
- Theo: No way. - Frank: Wow!
Theo: This is what we've been looking for.
[ Frank gasps ]
♪♪
[ Calm music ]
♪♪
Reverend Dampier: The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside
the st-- st-- still waters.
I should have specified no lilies
for they made me fneeze.
[ Indistinct speech ]
[ Horse snorts ]
Reverend Dampier: For thou art with me.
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.
[ Flag fluttering ]
We are here to discuss
the distribution of the deceased's estate...
[ Fire crackles ]
...in the presence of possible beneficiaries and, uh,
rather unorthodoxly, the deceased.
I had assumed after the...
internment, Sir Simon would have passed.
'Tis a mere issue technical
in't reading of the prophecy, soon to be resolved.
Don't look at me.
Apparently, it's sub judice.
I see. Then, as regards the estate,
hereby defined as the proceeds of antique jewels
valued at approximately £7 million sterling
with the added complication, it was technically
the stolen property of Lord Henry Canterville.
A legal minefield, to put it mildly.
Well, seems simple enough to me.
The jewels are Canterville heirlooms
and belong to the family.
Well, I'm glad that's settled.
St. John, we can leave Mrs. Watkins
to sort out the paperwork.
Why does thou allow a Featherstonehaugh
female to speak?
She is not a Canterville.
No, she isn't.
Sit down, Mother.
The deed of sale as drawn up by Mrs. Watkins herself stated
the buyer took ghost and contents...
at valuation.
That is true.
Frank and Theo found it, maybe they should have it.
- We could set up college funds. - It was all of us.
We couldn't have done it on our own.
Django: It's blood money.
Lovells want none of it.
Sir Simon: Enough.
This sorry, witterly filibuster.
Desist in thy circuitous tiffery.
Am I not...
most senior member of the family?
I proffer a solution.
[ Uplifting music ]
♪♪
[ Whirring ]
[ Indistinct conversations ]
♪♪
There.
- [ Chuckles ] - Whoa!
- Patience: Oh, wow. - Hiram: How about that?
- Patience: Look at that. - Charity: How'd you do that?
- Theo: It's amazing. - [ Mrs. Umney gasps ]
[ All laughing and gasping ]
- [ Cheering ] - Charity: Bravo!
♪♪
If we're agreed on the amendment clauses 15 and 29,
we can get you a revised contract over straightaway.
If we install micro hydro turbines into the river,
we can significantly reduce carbon emissions.
Hello, COLCorp. St. John Canterville speaking.
Can we do 500 units?
Yeah, we can do that.
St. John: Splendid. Thank you so much.
♪♪
[ Gentle music ]
♪♪
Granny.
I'm so glad you came.
I have decided to delay my objections
pending the arrival of an heir.
Don't leave it too long.
Bluey: Lovell.
Duke.
Seems I owe you.
[ Chuckles ]
Saved me a million on a wedding.
Not to mention life's
been a lot quieter since you've been on the scene.
Blessed relief if you want the truth.
You're welcome.
Ralph, this is Tatty. Tatty Tappen.
- She's just flown in from New York.
- [ Chuckles ] - Did you come in on the red eye?
[ Gasps ] Private jet. [ Scoffs ]
- Oh. - Tatty: I hate them.
It's like being stuck in a very small hotel room
only up in the air.
I hate being cooped up inside.
I'd much rather be fishing.
[ Chuckles ]
I don't know many girls who like fishing.
I could tie a golden olive dabbler
before I could write my own name.
[ Gasps ]
Let me show you where you're sitting.
Awesome. [ Chuckles ]
Just, um, mind the step up.
Stand by, ushers, bride approaching at three o'clock.
Groom to position.
[ Light music ]
♪♪
[ Lucy and Hiram chuckle ]
♪♪
[ Organ playing ]
[ Spectators murmur ]
♪♪
Reverend Dampier: Please be seated.
[ Spectators murmur ]
Should anyone present know of any reason why this couple
should not be joined in holy matrimony,
speak now or forever hold thy peace.
Oh, for goodness sake, man, get on with it.
[ Organ music playing ]
♪♪
[ Cracking ]
- Virginia: What's that? - Lucy: What's happening?
Patience: It's beautiful.
Masilda: The two houses have reunited,
Cantervilles and Lovells.
And henceforth peace shall come unto Canterville.
[ Birds chirping ]
Thou hast opened for me
the portals of death's house.
For love is always with you,
and love is stronger than death.
I thank thee.
Adieu.
Rest in peace, Sir Simon.
[ Calm music ]
♪♪
[ Birds chirping, Cesspitt squeaking ]
♪♪
[ Owl hooting ]
♪♪
[ Birds chirping, wings fluttering ]
♪♪
[ Romantic music ]
♪♪
[ Majestic music ]
♪♪
[ Theme music ]
♪♪