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[dramatic tones]

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Previously on "Ezra."

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[owl hooting]

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[suspenseful synth music]
But I like tea.

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[horror tones]

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We're so sorry to
see you go, I mean,

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we would love to have
people like you in our club.

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Just leave your
email at the door.

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People like what?

10
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You know, diverse?

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Do you even talk
to your family?

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Does Satan still
talk to Jesus?

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At all? Not even cool cousins?

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I have one cousin and
she's actually insane.

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Like, trust me, these
people are wicked.

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[bodies slamming]
[man exclaiming]

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[drink splashing]

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[suspenseful synth music]

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Did you hear?

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We found your
little cousin, Ezra.

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What?

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[dramatic bass tones]

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[whimsical music]

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[Ezra] If you're wondering
what the fuck is going on?

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Literally, same.

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As part of my psychology degree,

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I have to run student-led
counseling sessions.

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And when I was
eight, my mom explained

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that maybe my dad
would've stayed if I'd
eaten my vegetables

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but that only made me
hate vegetables more.

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[Ezra] As you can see,
Derek is getting pretty close

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to a major breakthrough.

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Faculty doesn't care
that these sessions

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are a huge waste of time,

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or that most of the
psychology students

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end up giving terrible
advice; frankly, neither do I.

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It's not like I'm here
to give advice anyway,

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I'm just here to
browse the menu.

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And I've done everything,
man, but I can't go near

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a piece of fucking broccoli
without getting sick.

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Have you tried drinking? Sex?

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Light drug use.

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Uh.

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[Ezra] Grinder? Scruff?

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[voice shaking] Uh no, I've
been avoiding those things.

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[Ezra] Why?

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I'm trying to find healthier
ways to deal, to cope,

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to better myself.

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Okay.

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Listen, Derek, you're
gonna die someday,

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probably by some freak accident
when you fall off cliff

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or get bludgeoned
death by the puritans

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for wearing cuff jeans and
yes, I picked up on that, mama.

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You gotta ask yourself,
"What really matters?"

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Is sitting around
wishing mommy and daddy

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were drinking mimosas on
the beach truly helpful?

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Exactly.

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Well would you look at
the time, oh my gosh,

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thank you so much for coming.

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Thank you for coming.

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[sad music]
Go home.

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Write out a list of all the
things you look forward to,

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this way you can
focus on the future

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and not obsess about the past;

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trust me, it's not worth it.

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[sad music ending abruptly]

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[low bass rumbling and building]

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Okay, fuck that.

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[drawer opening]

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[Derek screaming]
[brief violin horror music]

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Here's Mr. Broccoli,
just relax, calm down.

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Take him out, have a
drink, have a cocktail,

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show him a good time.

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Just really get to
know each other.

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[low bass rumbling and building]

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[toy squeaking]
Yeah.

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[intense choir music]

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Brutal.

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[bell dinging melodically]

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[Announcement] [over speaker]
Reminder for all students,

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use the buddy system while
entering the school locker room.

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[Meg Smith's "Cross my Heart
I Hope you Die" playing]

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♪ Me and my girls
yeah call us a coven ♪

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♪ When it comes to lovin'

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♪ They got my back when I go
on trustin' boys like you ♪

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♪ You're gone and buried

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♪ The cemetery

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♪ Boy ain't it scary

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♪ R.I.P you're dead to me

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♪ You're gone and buried

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♪ I hope you're ready

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♪ Boy ain't it scary

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♪ R.I.P you're dead to me

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♪ Cross my broken
heart I hope you die ♪

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♪ Die

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♪ Cross my broken
heart I hope you die ♪

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♪ Die R.I.P you're dead to me

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[music ending]

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[locker slamming]
[low bass tone rumbling]

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[Ezra] I used to
envy this world;

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they got to live a life
not hidden in the shadows,

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but out in the open and free.

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Now I see that
that's not the case,

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these people are caged
by their insecurity.

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[Sam] Yo, move it.

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[Student] Uh, believe
this is the men's room.

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Yeah, thanks for
the tour, now move.

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Wait a minute, are you like,
one of those transformers?

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[group of students laughing]

110
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You deaf?

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[group of students laughing]

112
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[rhythmic mischievous music]

113
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How much more time you need?

114
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[blood trickling]

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Just about finished.

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Sick.

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[upbeat music]
♪ How you spend a day

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♪ Wishing on flowers

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♪ Phone calls listen for hours

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♪ Start sweet but
it don't matter ♪

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♪ The apathy but so what

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[Derek muttering]

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Hey, what could I get for you?

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Uh, hey, can I
get a medium iced?

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Make sure it's iced,
oat-milk latte with room.

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[customers chattering
in background]

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Sure, it'll be $6.60.

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[Derek exhaling]

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[footsteps tapping]

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[ice rattling]

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Here you go.

132
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Thanks.

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[customers chattering
in background]

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[upbeat song on speakers]

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[low bass tone rumbling]

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[liquid pouring]

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[flask cap clicking]

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[lid closing]

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[ice rattling]

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Oh, my Gaga.

141
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Sorry, I do not mean to be Joe
from "You" stalker vibes rn,

142
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but if my little ears
didn't deceive me,

143
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did you just order an
iced coffee with oat milk?

144
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Yeah, dairy hurts my stomach.

145
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[screaming] Yes! That is
so cute, you are adorable.

146
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Love those necklaces, are you
going to the vigil tonight?

147
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Excuse me?

148
00:07:05,318 --> 00:07:07,905
Yeah, the remembrance
club is hosting it,

149
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it's gonna be in the
actual locker room

150
00:07:09,939 --> 00:07:12,284
where the guy was
actually murdered;

151
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there's blood still
leftover and everything.

152
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But it's not really for
the weak-hearted, you know?

153
00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:20,801
It's kinda graphic, like
an escape room but real?

154
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Remembrance club?

155
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Mm-hm, lots of
people are being like,

156
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violently murdered right now.

157
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Be careful or you might be next.

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[Amber laughing]

159
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No, that's not funny, it's not.

160
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Because if you were
murdered? Oh my God,

161
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that would be a hate crime.

162
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That would be a
hate crime, okay?

163
00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:44,008
No, that's worse than a real
crime and we love the gays.

164
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I am an [slurring]-plus
community ally

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and I cannot have
that, we cannot-

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[sighing] Oh God.

167
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Do you watch "Drag Race?"

168
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"Drag Race?"

169
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[Amber laughing]

170
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You're actually killing me.

171
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"Drag Race," come on.

172
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[imitating RuPaul]
Lipsynch for your life.

173
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Come on.

174
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[Amber speaking gibberish]

175
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Miss Vanjie.

176
00:08:08,732 --> 00:08:10,387
[Amber speaking gibberish]

177
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[Amber laughing]

178
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,249
[Amber speaking gibberish]

179
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You're gay, right? I'm
not getting this wrong?

180
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[Amber laughing]

181
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[gasping] Oh, not you
sipping. [tongue popping]

182
00:08:22,249 --> 00:08:23,870
[Amber laughing
and tongue-popping]

183
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Queen of sipping,
slay her, bestie.

184
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I don't slay women.

185
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[Amber exclaiming]

186
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:29,905
Um...

187
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Hello.

188
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Hi, lesbo, what do you want?

189
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Excuse me?

190
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Sorry, me and my newfound
gay bestie are actually having

191
00:08:40,939 --> 00:08:44,560
a social, hunty, kiki
gathering, of course.

192
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[Amber speaking gibberish]

193
00:08:46,525 --> 00:08:48,077
[Amber laughing]

194
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It's a "Drag Race" reference.

195
00:08:49,801 --> 00:08:54,043
And oh, right, there's that
exhibit, the scissor exhibit

196
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at the front hall that you
would love to go to, right?

197
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You have tickets to that?

198
00:08:58,180 --> 00:08:59,422
You'd love that, right?

199
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Lots of vaginas and
eating out and boobie.

200
00:09:01,801 --> 00:09:03,353
You're so funny,
Amber, you know what?

201
00:09:03,353 --> 00:09:05,008
I was just looking for you.

202
00:09:05,008 --> 00:09:06,456
You know when you
Facetune your ass,

203
00:09:06,456 --> 00:09:09,249
it's not supposed to be
noticeable? We stan warped ass.

204
00:09:10,974 --> 00:09:12,525
[gasping lightly] Maybe
it wasn't Facetune.

205
00:09:12,525 --> 00:09:14,491
Mm. [chuckling sarcastically]

206
00:09:14,491 --> 00:09:16,215
It's funny, it's
actually really funny.

207
00:09:16,215 --> 00:09:19,491
It's not funny because I come
from a dynasty-long thread

208
00:09:19,491 --> 00:09:22,111
of family members
who have small asses,

209
00:09:22,111 --> 00:09:24,491
so it's actually one of
my biggest insecurities.

210
00:09:24,491 --> 00:09:28,043
[breath quivering] Thanks,
thanks Gwen, my day is ruined.

211
00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:30,836
I swear it was really
great to meet you

212
00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:32,422
and I'm sorry that we
had to end on this note,

213
00:09:32,422 --> 00:09:34,318
so see you guys later.

214
00:09:34,318 --> 00:09:36,422
Girls, let's go.

215
00:09:36,422 --> 00:09:39,491
[heels clomping]

216
00:09:39,491 --> 00:09:41,422
Okay, so what the fuck?

217
00:09:41,422 --> 00:09:43,836
Not you being a gay icon.

218
00:09:43,836 --> 00:09:45,111
Shut up.
[Ezra laughing]

219
00:09:45,111 --> 00:09:47,387
Heads up, physique from
economics is coming.

220
00:09:48,905 --> 00:09:49,974
Hey Ezra.

221
00:09:49,974 --> 00:09:53,146
Oh, hey Ian, this is Gwen.

222
00:09:53,146 --> 00:09:55,249
Hey, you're in my
economics class right?

223
00:09:55,249 --> 00:09:58,974
Oh, I am failing
your economics class.

224
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,801
What did I just miss?

225
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,043
Honestly, I don't know.

226
00:10:03,284 --> 00:10:04,732
So what did you get?

227
00:10:04,732 --> 00:10:05,974
[Ian] Pfizer.

228
00:10:05,974 --> 00:10:07,422
I meant the coffee.

229
00:10:07,422 --> 00:10:11,422
Oh! I got an iced
vanilla oat-milk latte;

230
00:10:11,422 --> 00:10:12,215
it's really good.

231
00:10:18,111 --> 00:10:18,939
Iced.

232
00:10:19,974 --> 00:10:21,905
Really, I didn't expect that.

233
00:10:21,905 --> 00:10:22,732
[Ian] Why not?

234
00:10:23,698 --> 00:10:25,146
You know, you just seem more

235
00:10:25,146 --> 00:10:28,836
like a regular-milk type
of guy, but what do I know?

236
00:10:29,801 --> 00:10:31,111
Yeah.

237
00:10:31,111 --> 00:10:32,629
I mean, oat milk's a safe bet;
[whooshing tone]

238
00:10:32,629 --> 00:10:36,008
it's the same everywhere you
go, it's usually a good...

239
00:10:36,008 --> 00:10:38,008
good choice, you good man?

240
00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:42,801
Never better.

241
00:10:45,594 --> 00:10:48,215
[building tone]

242
00:10:49,974 --> 00:10:53,905
[intense rhythmic synth music]