1 00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:02,422 Previously on "Ezra." 2 00:00:03,836 --> 00:00:06,043 But I like tea. 3 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:10,111 We're so sorry to see you go, I mean, 4 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:12,387 we would love to have people like you in our club. 5 00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:14,560 Just leave your email at the door. 6 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:15,905 People like what? 7 00:00:15,905 --> 00:00:17,318 You know, diverse? 8 00:00:18,905 --> 00:00:20,732 Do you even talk to your family? 9 00:00:20,732 --> 00:00:22,215 Does Satan still talk to Jesus? 10 00:00:22,215 --> 00:00:24,387 At all? Not even cool cousins? 11 00:00:24,387 --> 00:00:28,043 I have one cousin and she's actually insane. 12 00:00:28,043 --> 00:00:30,836 Like, trust me, these people are wicked. 13 00:00:35,353 --> 00:00:36,111 Did you hear? 14 00:00:37,249 --> 00:00:38,836 We found your little cousin, Ezra. 15 00:00:39,870 --> 00:00:40,698 What? 16 00:00:59,732 --> 00:01:01,594 If you're wondering what the fuck is going on? 17 00:01:01,594 --> 00:01:02,801 Literally, same. 18 00:01:04,284 --> 00:01:05,732 As part of my psychology degree, 19 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,456 I have to run student-led counseling sessions. 20 00:01:08,456 --> 00:01:11,284 And when I was eight, my mom explained 21 00:01:11,284 --> 00:01:14,456 that maybe my dad would've stayed if I'd eaten my vegetables 22 00:01:14,456 --> 00:01:16,629 but that only made me hate vegetables more. 23 00:01:18,077 --> 00:01:20,111 As you can see, Derek is getting pretty close 24 00:01:20,111 --> 00:01:22,043 to a major breakthrough. 25 00:01:22,043 --> 00:01:23,594 Faculty doesn't care that these sessions 26 00:01:23,594 --> 00:01:25,215 are a huge waste of time, 27 00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:26,629 or that most of the psychology students 28 00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:29,905 end up giving terrible advice; frankly, neither do I. 29 00:01:31,111 --> 00:01:33,111 It's not like I'm here to give advice anyway, 30 00:01:33,111 --> 00:01:35,801 I'm just here to browse the menu. 31 00:01:35,801 --> 00:01:40,111 And I've done everything, man, but I can't go near 32 00:01:40,111 --> 00:01:42,594 a piece of fucking broccoli without getting sick. 33 00:01:43,594 --> 00:01:46,249 Have you tried drinking? Sex? 34 00:01:47,422 --> 00:01:48,905 Light drug use. 35 00:01:48,905 --> 00:01:49,870 Uh. 36 00:01:49,870 --> 00:01:51,801 Grinder? Scruff? 37 00:01:51,801 --> 00:01:54,077 Uh no, I've been avoiding those things. 38 00:01:54,077 --> 00:01:55,491 Why? 39 00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:58,767 I'm trying to find healthier ways to deal, to cope, 40 00:01:58,767 --> 00:02:00,422 to better myself. 41 00:02:00,422 --> 00:02:01,663 Okay. 42 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:05,525 Listen, Derek, you're gonna die someday, 43 00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:07,732 probably by some freak accident when you fall off cliff 44 00:02:07,732 --> 00:02:09,560 or get bludgeoned death by the puritans 45 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:13,353 for wearing cuff jeans and yes, I picked up on that, mama. 46 00:02:13,353 --> 00:02:18,008 You gotta ask yourself, "What really matters?" 47 00:02:18,008 --> 00:02:19,870 Is sitting around wishing mommy and daddy 48 00:02:19,870 --> 00:02:22,939 were drinking mimosas on the beach truly helpful? 49 00:02:22,939 --> 00:02:24,043 Exactly. 50 00:02:26,836 --> 00:02:28,698 Well would you look at the time, oh my gosh, 51 00:02:28,698 --> 00:02:30,525 thank you so much for coming. 52 00:02:32,525 --> 00:02:33,594 Thank you for coming. 53 00:02:37,456 --> 00:02:39,801 Go home. 54 00:02:39,801 --> 00:02:42,594 Write out a list of all the things you look forward to, 55 00:02:43,732 --> 00:02:45,318 this way you can focus on the future 56 00:02:45,318 --> 00:02:46,801 and not obsess about the past; 57 00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:50,353 trust me, it's not worth it. 58 00:02:54,939 --> 00:02:56,215 Okay, fuck that. 59 00:02:58,905 --> 00:03:01,732 Here's Mr. Broccoli, just relax, calm down. 60 00:03:02,939 --> 00:03:05,698 Take him out, have a drink, have a cocktail, 61 00:03:05,698 --> 00:03:06,870 show him a good time. 62 00:03:08,043 --> 00:03:10,077 Just really get to know each other. 63 00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:15,560 Yeah. 64 00:03:26,767 --> 00:03:28,456 Brutal. 65 00:03:32,353 --> 00:03:34,215 Reminder for all students, 66 00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:37,077 use the buddy system while entering the school locker room. 67 00:03:44,732 --> 00:03:47,353 ♪ Me and my girls yeah call us a coven ♪ 68 00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:49,043 ♪ When it comes to lovin' 69 00:03:49,043 --> 00:03:54,008 ♪ They got my back when I go on trustin' boys like you ♪ 70 00:03:54,905 --> 00:03:56,594 ♪ You're gone and buried 71 00:03:56,594 --> 00:03:58,560 ♪ The cemetery 72 00:03:58,560 --> 00:03:59,836 ♪ Boy ain't it scary 73 00:03:59,836 --> 00:04:02,905 ♪ R.I.P you're dead to me 74 00:04:02,905 --> 00:04:05,180 ♪ You're gone and buried 75 00:04:05,180 --> 00:04:07,422 ♪ I hope you're ready 76 00:04:07,422 --> 00:04:08,732 ♪ Boy ain't it scary 77 00:04:08,732 --> 00:04:10,836 ♪ R.I.P you're dead to me 78 00:04:10,836 --> 00:04:15,801 ♪ Cross my broken heart I hope you die ♪ 79 00:04:16,629 --> 00:04:19,456 ♪ Die 80 00:04:19,456 --> 00:04:24,422 ♪ Cross my broken heart I hope you die ♪ 81 00:04:25,422 --> 00:04:28,318 ♪ Die R.I.P you're dead to me 82 00:04:30,974 --> 00:04:32,836 I used to envy this world; 83 00:04:32,836 --> 00:04:35,146 they got to live a life not hidden in the shadows, 84 00:04:35,146 --> 00:04:37,111 but out in the open and free. 85 00:04:38,249 --> 00:04:40,146 Now I see that that's not the case, 86 00:04:41,353 --> 00:04:43,767 these people are caged by their insecurity. 87 00:04:44,974 --> 00:04:45,974 Yo, move it. 88 00:04:47,180 --> 00:04:49,422 Uh, believe this is the men's room. 89 00:04:50,629 --> 00:04:52,491 Yeah, thanks for the tour, now move. 90 00:04:52,491 --> 00:04:56,249 Wait a minute, are you like, one of those transformers? 91 00:05:05,353 --> 00:05:06,836 You deaf? 92 00:05:16,594 --> 00:05:18,318 How much more time you need? 93 00:05:22,870 --> 00:05:24,732 Just about finished. 94 00:05:30,318 --> 00:05:31,663 Sick. 95 00:05:31,663 --> 00:05:32,801 ♪ How you spend a day 96 00:05:32,801 --> 00:05:34,353 ♪ Wishing on flowers 97 00:05:34,353 --> 00:05:36,870 ♪ Phone calls listen for hours 98 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,318 ♪ Start sweet but it don't matter ♪ 99 00:05:39,318 --> 00:05:41,180 ♪ The apathy but so what 100 00:05:45,698 --> 00:05:47,836 Hey, what could I get for you? 101 00:05:47,836 --> 00:05:50,043 Uh, hey, can I get a medium iced? 102 00:05:50,043 --> 00:05:52,698 Make sure it's iced, oat-milk latte with room. 103 00:05:54,043 --> 00:05:56,043 Sure, it'll be $6.60. 104 00:06:09,939 --> 00:06:10,767 Here you go. 105 00:06:12,043 --> 00:06:12,870 Thanks. 106 00:06:39,905 --> 00:06:41,422 Oh, my Gaga. 107 00:06:41,422 --> 00:06:45,939 Sorry, I do not mean to be Joe from "You" stalker vibes rn, 108 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,801 but if my little ears didn't deceive me, 109 00:06:47,801 --> 00:06:51,870 did you just order an iced coffee with oat milk? 110 00:06:52,939 --> 00:06:55,284 Yeah, dairy hurts my stomach. 111 00:06:55,284 --> 00:07:00,249 Yes! That is so cute, you are adorable. 112 00:07:01,698 --> 00:07:04,111 Love those necklaces, are you going to the vigil tonight? 113 00:07:04,111 --> 00:07:05,318 Excuse me? 114 00:07:05,318 --> 00:07:07,905 Yeah, the remembrance club is hosting it, 115 00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:09,939 it's gonna be in the actual locker room 116 00:07:09,939 --> 00:07:12,284 where the guy was actually murdered; 117 00:07:12,284 --> 00:07:15,215 there's blood still leftover and everything. 118 00:07:15,215 --> 00:07:17,698 But it's not really for the weak-hearted, you know? 119 00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:20,801 It's kinda graphic, like an escape room but real? 120 00:07:20,801 --> 00:07:21,974 Remembrance club? 121 00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:23,387 Mm-hm, lots of people are being like, 122 00:07:23,387 --> 00:07:25,767 violently murdered right now. 123 00:07:25,767 --> 00:07:28,836 Be careful or you might be next. 124 00:07:32,698 --> 00:07:34,939 No, that's not funny, it's not. 125 00:07:34,939 --> 00:07:37,180 Because if you were murdered? Oh my God, 126 00:07:37,180 --> 00:07:39,146 that would be a hate crime. 127 00:07:39,146 --> 00:07:40,836 That would be a hate crime, okay? 128 00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:44,008 No, that's worse than a real crime and we love the gays. 129 00:07:44,008 --> 00:07:46,836 I am an [slurring]-plus community ally 130 00:07:46,836 --> 00:07:48,939 and I cannot have that, we cannot- 131 00:07:50,146 --> 00:07:51,008 Oh God. 132 00:07:52,629 --> 00:07:54,215 Do you watch "Drag Race?" 133 00:07:54,215 --> 00:07:55,525 "Drag Race?" 134 00:07:58,008 --> 00:07:59,629 You're actually killing me. 135 00:07:59,629 --> 00:08:01,525 "Drag Race," come on. 136 00:08:01,525 --> 00:08:02,767 Lipsynch for your life. 137 00:08:02,767 --> 00:08:03,732 Come on. 138 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,732 Miss Vanjie. 139 00:08:15,249 --> 00:08:17,560 You're gay, right? I'm not getting this wrong? 140 00:08:19,111 --> 00:08:22,249 Oh, not you sipping. 141 00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:25,870 Queen of sipping, slay her, bestie. 142 00:08:25,870 --> 00:08:27,525 I don't slay women. 143 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:29,905 Um... 144 00:08:30,767 --> 00:08:32,215 Hello. 145 00:08:32,215 --> 00:08:35,387 Hi, lesbo, what do you want? 146 00:08:35,387 --> 00:08:36,939 Excuse me? 147 00:08:36,939 --> 00:08:40,939 Sorry, me and my newfound gay bestie are actually having 148 00:08:40,939 --> 00:08:44,560 a social, hunty, kiki gathering, of course. 149 00:08:48,077 --> 00:08:49,801 It's a "Drag Race" reference. 150 00:08:49,801 --> 00:08:54,043 And oh, right, there's that exhibit, the scissor exhibit 151 00:08:54,043 --> 00:08:57,249 at the front hall that you would love to go to, right? 152 00:08:57,249 --> 00:08:58,180 You have tickets to that? 153 00:08:58,180 --> 00:08:59,422 You'd love that, right? 154 00:08:59,422 --> 00:09:01,801 Lots of vaginas and eating out and boobie. 155 00:09:01,801 --> 00:09:03,353 You're so funny, Amber, you know what? 156 00:09:03,353 --> 00:09:05,008 I was just looking for you. 157 00:09:05,008 --> 00:09:06,456 You know when you Facetune your ass, 158 00:09:06,456 --> 00:09:09,249 it's not supposed to be noticeable? We stan warped ass. 159 00:09:10,974 --> 00:09:12,525 Maybe it wasn't Facetune. 160 00:09:12,525 --> 00:09:14,491 Mm. 161 00:09:14,491 --> 00:09:16,215 It's funny, it's actually really funny. 162 00:09:16,215 --> 00:09:19,491 It's not funny because I come from a dynasty-long thread 163 00:09:19,491 --> 00:09:22,111 of family members who have small asses, 164 00:09:22,111 --> 00:09:24,491 so it's actually one of my biggest insecurities. 165 00:09:24,491 --> 00:09:28,043 Thanks, thanks Gwen, my day is ruined. 166 00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:30,836 I swear it was really great to meet you 167 00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:32,422 and I'm sorry that we had to end on this note, 168 00:09:32,422 --> 00:09:34,318 so see you guys later. 169 00:09:34,318 --> 00:09:36,422 Girls, let's go. 170 00:09:39,491 --> 00:09:41,422 Okay, so what the fuck? 171 00:09:41,422 --> 00:09:43,836 Not you being a gay icon. 172 00:09:43,836 --> 00:09:45,111 Shut up. 173 00:09:45,111 --> 00:09:47,387 Heads up, physique from economics is coming. 174 00:09:48,905 --> 00:09:49,974 Hey Ezra. 175 00:09:49,974 --> 00:09:53,146 Oh, hey Ian, this is Gwen. 176 00:09:53,146 --> 00:09:55,249 Hey, you're in my economics class right? 177 00:09:55,249 --> 00:09:58,974 Oh, I am failing your economics class. 178 00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,801 What did I just miss? 179 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,043 Honestly, I don't know. 180 00:10:03,284 --> 00:10:04,732 So what did you get? 181 00:10:04,732 --> 00:10:05,974 Pfizer. 182 00:10:05,974 --> 00:10:07,422 I meant the coffee. 183 00:10:07,422 --> 00:10:11,422 Oh! I got an iced vanilla oat-milk latte; 184 00:10:11,422 --> 00:10:12,215 it's really good. 185 00:10:18,111 --> 00:10:18,939 Iced. 186 00:10:19,974 --> 00:10:21,905 Really, I didn't expect that. 187 00:10:21,905 --> 00:10:22,732 Why not? 188 00:10:23,698 --> 00:10:25,146 You know, you just seem more 189 00:10:25,146 --> 00:10:28,836 like a regular-milk type of guy, but what do I know? 190 00:10:29,801 --> 00:10:31,111 Yeah. 191 00:10:31,111 --> 00:10:32,629 I mean, oat milk's a safe bet; 192 00:10:32,629 --> 00:10:36,008 it's the same everywhere you go, it's usually a good... 193 00:10:36,008 --> 00:10:38,008 good choice, you good man? 194 00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:42,801 Never better.