♪♪♪
[clock ticks, alarm rings]
Adult mark: It seemed like only yesterday
I was dreading the first day of grade seven.
Now, here I was, dreading the last day of grade seven.
- Nobody likes change.
Adult mark: Wow. Pop really got me.
- A one dollar coin?
I mean, what's next? A twenty-five cent bill?
We'll be the laughingstock of the united nations!
[bed creaks, sighs heavily]
[glasses thunk lightly]
[sighs, water pours] - oh no.
Adult mark: The more things change.
- [grunts] - [running footsteps]
[door bangs shut, music plays on the radio]
- Oh, last day of school, mark.
You won't have to deal with that crowd all summer.
- Yeah. I guess. - Good god, mary.
This crowd is eatin' us out o' house and home.
- Legally you do have to feed me.
Pop: Well, eat while you can.
Because when word gets out about this funny money,
We're headed for another great depression.
Mark my words.
Mike jr.: Hey.
[cereal jingles] - take it easy, will ya?
It's not bottomless!
- I found some interesting reading material in your room.
- [clears throat] did you?! Well, uh, it's, it's not mine,
I can assure you o' that. I just uh...
Oh. Uh... Yeah, yeah.
- The university of new brunswick?
But... It's so far away!
- Maybe in September?
- Who needs university? - Or not.
I dunno, just give it back.
- I dropped out of school to fish when I was mark's age.
- Yes. Because your father drowned.
- At least it put hairs on my chest.
You could do with a little toughening up,
Let me tell ya. - Yeah, you're probably right.
I probably would've been better off
If my father had drowned, too.
Mark: [chuckles] you'd be the first person in the family
To get off the island.
- Yeah, but you'll get murdered out there.
- Yeah, and you'll never get the body back.
Tanya bursey died in florida visiting her sister.
They had to bury her in buffalo.
Mickey mouse ears and all.
- I don't know.
Room and board on top of tuition?
I mean, where the hell's the money coming from?
- This is exactly why I wanna get outta here!
And stop snooping through my room!
[footsteps recede, music plays quietly]
- Can you, uh, drive me to the bank?
I wanna get some bills before the rioting starts.
[bedroom door bangs shut]
- Overall, you did very well on your math tests.
Especially you, ritchie.
Hmm.
Mark, could be worse. Barely.
Report cards come out Friday,
Followed by the school dance.
Remember to leave room for the holy ghost while dancing.
[student chuckles, bell rings] adult mark: The school dance!
I had finally gotten up the nerve to ask fox,
And the thought of it made my heart beat faster
Than any gym class.
- Hey! Are you going to the dance?
- I can't dance with girls.
Or even be in the same room as girls dancin'.
- [chuckles] well, it might be fun.
Besides, you can go with me.
Uh, fox?
Uh, are you thinking of maybe pondering the idea of--
Sister margaret: Fox!
May I speak with you for a moment?
[indistinct chatter]
- [sighs heavily]
- And today's vocm question of the day:
"do you believe predictions
Of a possible collapse of the cod fishery?"
Our lines are open. Your thoughts.
Line one, you're on the air.
Elderly lady: Mike? Hello?
Is that you? [feedback squeals] - turn down your radio, caller.
Elderly lady: Oh, I can't hear you, mike.
I'm getting feedback from me radio.
- Our question of the day:
Do you believe predictions of an imminent collapse
Of the cod fishery? Your thoughts.
Elderly lady: I wanted to report me lost cat.
- [whispers] turn it down. - [whispers] go!
- She's a white tabby, with a big puffy--
[button clicks] will you get outta here?
- Go to commercial. This is important.
- More important than the vocm
Question of the day, is it?
Elderly lady: She answers to puss, but her name is jacinta.
I put food out, but only got the hard
And she likes the wet-- [button clicks]
- We seem to have lost you, caller.
We'll be right back with your thoughts... After this.
Commercial: At caul's funeral home,
Your loved one is more than just a dead body--
[lowers volume] - this better be good!
- Your career's gonna end in that funeral home, buddy.
I just overheard the bosses in the bathroom.
They never knew I was there. I was in the stall.
Been having some trouble.
Doctor says I need to lay off the dairy,
But you know how it is-- - will you get to the point?!
- They said, and I quote, "it's gonna be
A whole new station. All music. No talk."
- No talk?! But I'm the "talk."
Uh, somebody would've said something!
- No, they're not gonna tell you!
You're the first one they're gonna get rid of.
Not me. I know how to spin records.
- Just because I don't spin records
Doesn't mean my work here isn't valuable, dick.
[button clicks] - and we're back!
Line two, you're on the air! Our vocm question of the day:
"will the cod fishery collapse?"
Your thoughts? Caller: Mike!
I think I found that lady's cat.
I just said, "here, puss, puss" - [sighs]
- And it came right up to me.
♪♪♪
- [gasps]
- I need you to be my math tutor.
- You want my help?
- If I don't do the nun's stupid make-up test,
Then I can't go to the dance.
And if you tell anyone, I'm gonna kick your ass so hard
You'll be tasting my sneakers all summer.
- M'lady. - What'd you call me?
- Nothing! Can we chat later?
I could save you a seat on the bus.
We could have a drink and a chin wag
About the upcoming soiree?
[juice sloshes]
- Leave me alone!
[footsteps recede]
- [sighs] hey, did she say if she was going to the dance?
- [nervous gasps]
[sucking up juice]
I need to go to the toilet.
Adult mark: I wasn't great at math,
But I knew when something wasn't adding up.
[rock music plays loudly]
[door clicks open]
- What're you listening to?
- Okay, fine, I'll put headphones on.
- What? No, no, no, no! I wanna hear that.
Is this this, uh, duran fellow with the hungry wolf?
- Here you go, mike. Nice and clean.
- Thanks.
- Well, you know where you're not gonna get clean laundry
Done for you, hmm? New brunswick.
- Do you mind? We're talking music.
- Hey, can you guys get outta my room?
I just wanna be alone.
- Come and have a gander at your inheritance.
- Ten dollars? - Ah, yes, now.
But when they take these bills out of circulation,
This could double in value!
- So twenty dollars.
- Uh, can you lend me some change?
I need to go down to the duke of duckworths.
- You got $10 dollars! - I can't touch that!
That's an investment! - Oh, sweet jesus,
Will you stop fightin'!
Any wonder he wants to move away, right, mike?
Little bugger.
Kids: [indistinct chatter and laughter]
- So if 3x + 1 = 16,
How do we solve for x?
[loud snap] - [frustrated sigh]
That pencil was strawberry sniff!
- Screw it. My brothers all repeated grades.
Makes sense. I'm stupid too.
- You're not failing because you're stupid.
You're failing because you're not trying!
Trust me, you'll get it.
Just don't give up, okay?
- [sighs]
[chair scrapes]
♪♪♪
Adult mark: Betrayed by the only person I knew
Who was more of a geek than I was.
She certainly had a type.
- Well, isn't this romantic? [paper rustles]
- Ew! Gross!
- It's not what you think. The truth--
- Is none of his business. Leave us alone!
- Fine.
But you can forget about going to the dance together,
'cause I'm not going anymore.
[huffs]
- You never asked me to the dance.
- He was talking to me.
[record jacket squeaks]
- Hey, dick, have you got a minute?
Good god! You were right!
- Told ya. You're toast. - I can't lose this job.
Young mike's talking about university.
- Don't forget you live in a company house.
You get fired, you're homeless, too.
You wanna work? You're gonna have to learn to spin records.
I was gonna dj the school dance. Why don't you do it?
Better to make your mistake in front of nobody who matters.
- That's my son's dance. - Yes,
But your son already knows you're a...
Great guy.
Remember, no elevator music! Just hits!
[drawer scrapes shut] pop: Where did it go?
I left my money on the dresser last night.
Good god.
I've lost one of my dollar bills.
Have you seen it? - No.
- Well, it didn't just fly away.
If I was to look in there, would I find it?
- Of course not! Wait, what? What're you doing?
- [grunts] hmm... - Pop!
- Well, it must be somewhere? - I-I...
- Oh, well, I don't see it. What about your pocket?
- No! No! - Let me look in your pocket!
- Get off me! Get-- - ow! Come here!
- I got it! [sprays] - what the hell is that?!
- What is all this racket?
- [coughs] oh, it's just-- - oh!
- This house is too small! I need some privacy.
- When mike goes, I want his room!
- Do you two know how lucky you are
To have a roof over your head at all?
- Mike! They're just skylarkin' is all.
- Enough! - What's gotten into you?
- Nothing is good enough for you crowd.
You wanna go live with mike? Fine! [trunk clunks]
You got it! Come on! - What're you doing?
[bed drags]
- If pop isn't mature enough to have a roommate,
Then you can go stay with your brother. Come on!
- Uh... Wait! What? [bed drags]
[crickets chirp, dog barks in the distance]
Mike? You up?
[light clicks on]
Mike? You up?
- [sighs]
What do you want?
- I think I like this girl...
Who ritchie likes,
And she likes ritchie.
And it was just-- [pillow thuds]
- Go to sleep!
Adult mark: The thing about change is,
You don't know what you got till it's gone.
[bed creaks]
- [sighs heavily]
[crow caws]
♪♪♪
- Marcus.
- Grandfather.
[lid clicks]
[juice pours] - [spits]
[juice pours] - whoa!
Going a bit heavy on that juice there, son.
Rough day ahead?
- Bit of nerves about the dance.
Not that you care, I'm sure.
- Mm.
- [gulps] mmm... - [sighs heavily]
[glass clunks] - ah...
[bill rustles and snaps]
- There. - Well,
I can't take one of your special dollars.
- I want you to have it.
- So I can save it? - No!
I want you to live in the moment!
Buy your girl a soft drink at the dance.
- I can't dance. - What?!
The critch men were always the best dancers.
Listen, you get onto the dance floor, right?
Your shoulders back, your spine over your ass,
And put your hands down by your sides,
And then you kick your feet out
Like you're busting for a whiz.
[hums "I'se the b'y"]
- ♪ I'se the b'y who builds the boat ♪
♪ and I'se the b'y who sails her ♪
♪ I'se the b'y who catches the fish ♪
- Head up! Head up! - ♪ ...Home to liza
Adult mark: Pop was right. I had to live in the moment.
The one good thing about living with mike
Was I could raid his closet
For all the latest clothes from le chateau.
If I was going to win fox back,
I had to be the me I could be.
I had to be... My brother.
[huey lewis and the news: "hip to be square"]
[banging on door]
- Hey, mark, come on! Let's hurry it up!
[banging on door]
Mark, come on, man, I'm dying out here.
♪ I used to be a renegade
♪ I used to fool around
♪ but I couldn't take the punishment ♪
♪ and had to settle down
♪ now I'm playin' it real straight ♪
♪ and yes, I cut my hair
♪ you might think I'm crazy ♪
♪ but I don't even care [banging on door]
♪ because I can tell what's going on ♪
- Mark! Did you fall in again? [doorknob squeaks]
Adult mark: Like a caterpillar emerging from his cocoon,
The boy had become... A man!
- That's my shirt, you little dick!
And you got blood on it?! - Hey!
- Good god! When they talk about "hitting puberty"
They don't mean with a hammer.
- I think you're the most handsome man I've ever saw.
Right, mike? - Ah... Yes!
You look very uh...
Good god.
The boy is melting.
Uh, you look... It'll be fine.
♪ there is no denying that...
♪ it's hip to be square
♪♪♪
[indistinct chatter] - [taps mic]
- [clears throat] welcome to the dance, children.
[low hum of chatter]
Have fun, but remember this is still a school,
So be respectful.
- Yes, sister,
I know these children are filled with urges.
I expect that you dance
Like young ladies and gentlemen,
And not like two sticks
Rubbing up against each other
In the hopes of starting a fire.
For if you do, the fire you start
Will surely burn your soul
For eternity... In hell.
[amplified thud]
- Well, isn't that lovely?
[clears throat] mister critch.
- Ah. Uh, thank you, sister.
Uh, this tune is called, uh, "patio lanterns"
By kim mitchell.
Apparently, he - or she -
Is climbing the charts
With his - or her - uh, hit single.
Mike critch, reporting.
[kim mitchell: "patio lanterns"]
♪ our house had the biggest patio ♪
♪ our house had all the summer shade ♪
♪ we had patio lanterns
- Hey! - Hey.
- You still haven't opened it?
- You look for me. Please.
[report card rustles] - I thought you weren't coming.
- Well, I wasn't going to, but my friends were like,
"mark, you gotta come. It won't be fun without you."
Look, I'd love to stay and chat,
But I have to go cut a rug, as they say.
♪ who was gonna be
♪ who would be the first to kiss ♪
- Now, don't be disappointed. You got a d.
- A "d"?
I got a d!
♪♪♪
♪ those patio lanterns
♪ they were the stars in the sky ♪
Mike sr.: [over mic] mark? Mark.
♪ those patio lanterns, lighting up our lives ♪
I don't know what's going on with your hair,
Or your trousers.
But here's what I do know: You can't go through life
Pretending to be someone you're not,
Just to impress a bunch of people.
Hang on a sec.
Okay, cats and kittens,
Apparently "we're not gonna take it anymore."
So let's fight the power, with the twisted sister,
- Oh my god... - Whom, I'm told,
Are not nuns, but men.
Adult mark: Being on the outs with fox and ritchie
Made me realize just how alone I had been
Before I'd met them.
♪ we're not gonna take it
♪ oh no,
- We got somethin' to tell ya. - I know!
Look, I hate fighting, so if you guys are dating,
Then I... I guess I'm happy for you
And I just wanna be friends again, okay?
- [snorts] no, we've been studying, doofus!
Ritchie helped me pass algebra.
See? I got a d!
I gotta go rub this in my brother's face.
He did grade seven like three times!
♪ this is our song
- Sorry. I wanted to tell you,
But she would have murdered me.
- She still likes you more.
That's why she asked for your help, instead of mine.
- She asked me because she doesn't like me like that.
She actually cares what you think of her.
♪ oh no, we ain't gonna take it ♪
♪ we're not gonna take it anymore ♪
- Thanks.
♪♪♪
Adult mark: I had a request,
And luckily, I had an in with the dj.
[record scratches]
- Attention, students.
I've been told to play only hit music.
Well, I may not be hip to today's jive,
But I do know good music when I hear it.
So, from the good morning vietnam soundtrack,
Here's a hit that even I can dance to.
[louis armstrong: "what a wonderful world"]
♪♪♪
♪ I see trees so green
♪ red roses too
- Dick told me everything.
- Uh, mary, I'm sorry, but we'll find another house.
- And I know that dick is an idiot,
So I called your boss
And he told me that they're not changing the station.
They're adding an fm station.
You're not being replaced. - [sigh of relief]
I'm not? - No, mike.
You're irreplaceable.
♪ and clouds so white
♪ the bright blessed day
♪ the dark sacred night
♪ and I think to myself
- Hey. - Hey.
- Congratulations on the d. That's great.
- It's okay. - It's more than okay.
I mean, if you weren't in my class next year, I'd...
♪ the colours of the rainbow
♪ so pretty... - Congratulations.
- Thanks.
[chuckles] weirdo.
♪ are people going by
- Uh... I was just wondering,
Maybe if you wanted to-- - here.
♪ saying how do you do
- I thought you liked it?
- Trust me, you're gonna need it this summer,
Out there all alone in your weird house.
[chuckles]
- Thanks.
♪ I watch them grow
[feet scuff]
♪ then I'll ever know
- Check out my moves!
- [laughs] that's dead easy. Watch!
Ugh! [giggles] here. You try.
- Okay.
♪♪♪
- Okay, yeah. - There's also another move
My pop taught me. [inhales sharply]
Arms down.
[feet tap lightly]
♪ what a wonderful world
- What's this called? - I do not know,
But you sometimes put your hands like that.
Adult mark: No slow dance. No kiss.
I may not have had a girlfriend,
But I did have great friends.
[indistinct chatter]
[door clicks open]
- Dad! Come on! - I know, I know,
I'll just be a minute.
Look, uh, money's been tight lately--
- I know. School was a... Dumb idea.
- No, no. Listen.
We were just talking and uh...
I think we can make it work.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- [laughs excitedly]
- Oh! [light pats]
- [sniffs] oh my...
I'm gonna miss you somethin' shockin'.
Hmm. [sniffling]
Adult mark: Change can be a good thing.
It can make you appreciate the little things
You took for granted.
Maybe my life hadn't changed much,
But I had.
♪ what's down the road
I used to hate the school bus
Because it took me away from home.
But now, it was my lifeline.
I faced a long summer alone,
And I couldn't help but worry
That my friends would forget all about me.
♪ no matter where we roam
♪ you'll never be alone
♪ just come with me
♪ and you will see
♪ that we will always be...
[tape rattles]
♪ home
[tape snaps into place]
[play button clicks]
♪ 'cause I wonder where you are ♪
♪ I wonder if you think about me ♪
♪ once upon a time
♪ in your wildest dreams
♪♪♪